BEING SINGLE IN 2023

BY CHRISTINA ZISKO

THERE ARE OVER 55,000 students at York. That translates to a lot of young, single people. Add to that the fact that we are surrounded by technology and social media, and that gives you a lot of young, single people on their phones most of the day. In honour of Valentine’s Day, let’s talk about how to be single as a university student. Yes, I’m talking about using Tinder.

If you don’t have Tinder yourself, you definitely know someone who does. This fast paced, fun dating app allows you to make snap judgements about potential matches. If you like someone, swipe right and hope that they did the same for you. If you don’t, swipe left and away they go into the virtual garbage bin of suitors. Generation X is always saying that us Millennials are shallow, self centred kids with a short attention span, and Tinder perfectly caters to that demographic. We get to choose our best selfies and judge others, all the while swiping at 60 profiles per minute. No wonder it can be so addictive. But does it really work? That depends on what you’re looking for.

One only needs to check the Instagram account @ TinderNightmares to learn that predominately, a large number of male Tinder users are looking for exactly that. According to my own experiences and the experiences of my friends, users can expect no shortage of sexually suggestive messages in their inbox. This isn’t exactly conducive to looking for a relationship based on mutual respect and conversation.

TINDER ADVERTISES ITSELF AS A “SOCIAL DISCOVERY” APP, BUT THE CONSENSUS IS THAT IT’S CONSIDERED A “HOOKUP” APP.

But one can’t make sweeping generalizations. For example, a friend of mine met her boyfriend of a year and a half on the app. This is the exception rather than the norm. Think about it. What are the odds that you would swipe right on Prince or Princess Charming, they would also swipe right on you, no one would send a gross sexual innuendo as the first message, you would talk and get along, and get along well enough to meet in person and fall in love? It’s not impossible, but it’s also not very likely. Unfortunately, for the users of this app, this is how to be single. One three-day texting relationship after another.

Allow me to speak for myself for a minute. I’ve met three of my Tinder matches in person. Between those three “dates”, I have experienced a guy who invited myself and another girl from Tinder to his party, perhaps hoping to increase his odds of a hookup (it didn’t), a guy who showed up late and quite possibly high, and one catfish who looked nothing like his profile photos. Just this week, I was texting with a guy who I later found out was engaged. That’s 0 for 4. Four strikes and I’m out! These situations gave me a good laugh when talking them over with my friends, but this is not how I want to be single.

My experience on the app may be nothing like yours. I may have just had a string of bad luck, and you could hit the jackpot. All I know is that, for a lot of people, being single in 2023 means swiping left or right on people within a 25 kilometre radius, hoping The One (or maybe The One Right Now) will appear. We are surrounded with technology and social media all the time, may it be Snapchat, Instagram or Twitter, and that probably won’t change. It’s only natural that romantic relationships and dating would move to social media apps as well. This is completely different from how our parents or grandparents met, and time will tell if that’s a good or bad thing. But for now, I’ve decided that I’m swiping left on Tinder.