Voice Magazines - Swanwick, Riddings, Leabrooks and Somercotes Edition - August 2023

SWANWICK • RIDDINGS, LEABROOKS • SOMERCOTES

12 EDITIONS READ BY OVER 162,000 RESIDENTS

24TH AUGUST 79AD

Mount Vesuvius erupted, destroying the cities of Pompeii and Herculaneum

From the Editor

Dear Readers,

So now I’m just starting to think I’m a little bit psychic about the weather (or I’m Storm from X-Men) as last month I said, and I quote; “I just pray for rain”. If ever there was a lesson in being careful regarding what you wish for!! At the time of writing, we are a week away from the Y Not festival and as such, I am whole heartedly, categorically NOT praying for rain. I am a fair weathered camper/ festival go-er and as such, some nice warming sunshine has been requested.

Although one thing I am grateful for regarding the copious amounts of rain – the blasted midgies have gone to ground again! I had a bit of a nasty bite from one of them – obvs left it for a while (like 10days or so, probs shouldn’t have) until needing a killer dose of antibiotics. I wasn’t too worried until the Nurse Practitioner looked at it and went “Oooh, yep, antibiotics and if you don’t see significant improvement in the next 48hrs, get yourself down to A&E”. I said – “OK, what for?” (somewhat naively) and she said, “because you will need antibiotics intravenously by then if the tablets aren’t working”. No panic then #eyeroll. Anyway, a bit of googling and several panic attacks later, it’s all good thankfully.

Another month, another World Cup – Nope not the Football, this time it’s Netballs turn and it is showing

on the Beeb! As an avid fan and (fairweather) player, that’s me sorted for entertainment!

Speaking of entertainment, whilst most people were choosing between Barbie and Oppenheimer this month #Barbenheimer, we ended up at Elemental courtesy of our eldest Niece’s birthday. I can’t say I identified with the story of a fiery tempered young woman but I am now tempted to change my purple hair to red!

Workwise, we’ve created a lovely high street feature in the Matlock & Darley Dale magazines. Honestly, it is such a glorious place to go to and the high street is so beautiful with lots of varied shops –they deserve lots of support to keep them thriving. Our next features are scheduled for Christmas…… sorry to mention it but it is coming around quickly!! That is assuming we can get some people to fill our Sales Vacancies – why wouldn’t you want to work here if you have experience in business-to-business sales?!

Happy Reading

WHAT HAPPENS IN AUGUST?

August is traditionally holiday time here in the UK, schools are closed, the weather is (hopefully) behaving itself, and Autumn still seems a while away, but what else is the month known for?

Here are a few fun (and not so fun) facts I discovered:

➤ August 1st is Lammas Day; this marked the start of the harvest season during the Anglo Saxon period. The name derives from an Anglo Saxon word - hlāfmæsse - meaning “loaf mass”. Bread was made from the first wheat harvest and blessed before being broken (not cut) into four pieces and buried in each corner of a barn that would be used to store the full harvest. Another loaf would be shared amongst loved ones. Both rituals were thought to protect the upcoming harvest.

➤ In the Roman calendar, August was first known as “Sextilis” - the Latin word for six - as until around 700 BC only ten months were counted. When an extra two months were added, Sextilis was bumped to the eighth month. The name August was not adopted until 8 BC, when it was renamed in honour of Emperor Augustus.

➤ In a non-leap year, August will not share its starting day with any other month. Of course I had to check! This year August 1st will fall on a Tuesday; of the other eleven months of the year, three start on a Wednesday, two on a Sunday, two on a Saturday, two on a Friday, one on a Thursday and one on a Monday. So it appears to be true - but as two other months this year also fall into this solo category, I’m not sure it is such a startling fact.

➤ The Earl of Sandwich “invented” the first sarnie in August 1762 and picnics have never been the same since. To be honest, I’ve always found this “fact” hard to believe - I mean, he couldn’t have been the first person in history to stick a bit of meat between two slices of bread.

➤ August is also the month of…Weeds! In the days of the Anglo-Saxons, August was known as “Weod Monath” or Weed Month, because it was when weeds and plants grew the fastest.

➤ August 26th, 1936, saw the BBC transmit its first high-definition television pictures.

➤ Martin Luther King delivered his famous “I have a dream speech”, August 28th, 1963.

➤ On August 24th, 79 AD, Mount Vesuvius erupted, destroying the cities of Pompeii and Herculaneum. One thousand eight hundred and sixty six years later, on August 6th, 1945, the US dropped atomic bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima.

➤ August 13th, 1964, Britain carried out the last two executions before capital punishment was abolished.

➤ August 16th, 1977, Elvis Presley packed up his blue suede shoes and left the world behind.

➤ Princess Diana died in a car accident in Paris on August 31st, 1997.

Whatever you do this August have fun and remember that we could have been stuck with a month named Sextilis - imagine the innuendos!

Blundstone #587 Rustic Black

Blundstone #585 Rustic Brown

Guess the words and Fill in the crossword ! Pitcherwits®

Pitcherwits® are crossword puzzles where some of the clues are in pictures. Sound easy? It’s not called “Pit-your-wits” for nothing! The mixture of cryptic and picture clues, combined with Professor Rebus’ unique sense of humour, will keep you entertained for hours.

Across

8 Link ID to URL in a glaringly vivid way (5)

9 Roast boar in five to make sure it’s well done! (5)

10 Secretory organ is the last in England (5)

12 Composer of velar form (5)

Down

2 The 30cm monarch? (5)

3 Dance the tango in Polynesia (5)

11 Bid farewell to aide, in turnaround (5)

13 Sweater pattern found in Ken’s CV (1-4)

1 Sip merchant’s brew to keep time, squaddy! (5,2,4)

5 Lion is a bit put out by attachment (7)

14 Ignore a difficult time? (4,3)

15 Kit destroyed after rum place for ‘apples and pears’ (5,6)

Down

1 Was dismissive about hog, filmed at odd angle (4,5,2)

4 Polly to fight with a difficult bit of sparkling (4,2,5)

6 Increased, and put on a pair, so to speak (5,2)

7 Brie is a dish for cold place (7)

ANSWERS FOR LAST MONTHS PITHERWITS Across:

This puzzles has been devised by the brilliant Professor Rebus. For more of his puzzles visit www.pitcherwits.co.uk

Don’t forget to mention Voice Magazines when responding to the Ads

BRIDLINGTON BEACH FUN & EUROPEAN YOUTH CHAMPIONSHIPS

A glorious weekend in June saw thirty-two enthusiastic RASCALS Lifesavers back at Bridlington for the much-anticipated yearly beach training session. A departure from the usual single day of fun, the beach event has become so popular with our athletes that a full weekend of beach training was warranted. For a lot of our younger lifesavers, it was their first time at a beach training session, so the Saturday instruction and demonstration day was exactly what they needed. After the very important warm up, it was straight into beach flag elimination race training, lifebuoy launching and beach sprinting. With some time to lunch and lounge in the sun, it was into wet suits and straight into the warm waves. Safety with our younger lifesavers is paramount. Our coaches spent time before each activity explaining and demonstrating the sea skills while ‘spotters’ stayed close to all the lifesavers in the sea. After a Saturday night of well-deserved relaxation and partaking in the local culinary fare (delicious fish’n’chips), it was back on the beach early Sunday morning to put Saturday’s instruction into action. It was Sunday competition day! Our lifesavers can be a competitive bunch, so all that energetic racing was not only great experience for the lifesavers, but super to watch for all the parents and carers who journeyed north for the weekend. July would see all that beach training tested when RASCALS competed at the Blyth Beach Festival and were delighted to take third place – not bad for a team based in land locked Derbyshire!

Mentoring the younger lifesavers on the beach were Heather Watson, Luke Waterfall and Freddie Postlethwaite. All three athletes have just been selected for the GBR Youth Team competing at the European Youth Lifesaving Championships in Gorzów Wielkopolski and Międzyzdroje, Poland. Congratulations on this great achievement and well done to Heather Watson who was thrilled to be named Youth Vice Captain. We look forward to following their competitive journey from the European championships (August) to the Lifesaving Commonwealth championships (September) in Canada. It just goes to show, who knows where a competitive lifesaving session in a pool in Ripley with RASCALS can lead! If you would like to expand your swimming activities or try something new, please contact us.

If you would like to expand your swimming activities or try something new, please contact us. contact@ripleyrascals.org.uk | www.ripleyrascals.org.uk

ARE

Food & Retail

2023 Day Trips:

02/8/23- Scarborough

£20.75pp

06/8/23- Whitby

£24pp

11/8/23- Southport

£22.50pp

15/8/23- Skeggy

£19.75pp

02/9/23- Bridlington

£20pp

24/9/23- Whitby

£24pp

1/10/23- Manchester

£22pp

15/10/23- Shrewsbury

£20pp

04/11/23 - Liverpool

£22.50pp

03/11/23- Birmingham

Christmas Market £21pp

09/11/23- Beverly Christmas Market £20pp

17/12/23- York Christmas Market £20pp

15-17 September - Llandudno £160pp £190 Single Supp

27-29 October - Blackpool

Illuminations. £160pp, £190

Single Supp.

29/10/23- Melton Mowbray and Stamford £19.50pp

Contact us on 07799 894644 or Email connor.bacon@ecoachesalfreton.co.uk

ALL OUR RECLINERS

Are made to measure and made to order and can be delivered direct from our factory within 2 – 6 weeks. Matching sofas and chairs available too.

5 YEAR WARRANTY on all recliners includes mechanisms & motor.

MANDY’S TRAVEL PAGE

Hi I’m Mandy your Personal Travel Counsellor. Egypt is such a wonderful destination and so popular currently. With so much to see and do and steeped in History, if it isn’t on your bucket list, it should be!

Unearth the mysteries of antiquity, and discover the eyepopping, jaw-dropping riches of the pharaohs, in comfort and style.

Catch your breath as you encounter the wondrous Pyramids at Giza and marvel at the collections of Cairo’s stunning Egyptian Museum. Gaze in awe as you cruise along the tranquil Nile, past riverbank scenes unchanged in centuries, visiting some of the most important relics of Ancient Egypt, as well as the truly phenomenal High Dam at Aswan. Opportunities to visit Alexandria and Abu Simbel on optional excursions complete this extraordinary, unforgettable holiday in Egypt.

WHAT DOES THIS PRICE INCLUDE?

• Three nights’ bed and breakfast accommodation at the five-star Hilton Pyramids Golf Hotel

• Seven nights’ full-board accommodation aboard a Nile river cruise vessel

• One lunch in Cairo

• Return flights to Cairo, returning from Luxor (via Cairo)

• An internal flight from Cairo to Luxor

• Coach travel and transfers throughout

• Fully escorted by a friendly, experienced tour manager Departs from Heathrow on 10th May, 17th May or 13th September 2024

From £2448.00 per person (based on two people sharing)

Other dates available throughout 2024

Slimming World Recipe

Diet Cola Chicken

Method:

1. Spray a large non-stick pan with low-calorie cooking spray and place over a high heat. Add the chicken, peppers and onion and stir-fry for 5-7 minutes, or until lightly browned.

2. Add the diet cola, stock, passata, tomato purée, garlic, Worcestershire sauce, soy sauce and herbs and stir well. Bring to

This is a true Slimming World Classic and for good reason. Packed full of flavour that will have you going back for more!

the boil, cover, reduce the heat to mediumlow and simmer for 12-15 minutes.

3. Add the sugar snap peas, stir and increase the heat to mediumhigh. Cook for another 10-15 minutes, or until the chicken is cooked through and the veg is tender.

For more information visit www.slimmingworld.co.uk

Ingredients:

• Low-calorie cooking spray

• 4 skinless and boneless chicken breasts, cut into bite-sized chunks

• 1 red, 1 yellow and 1 green pepper, cut into bite-sized chunks

• 1 onion, finely chopped

• 330ml can diet cola

• 200ml hot chicken stock

• 8 tbsp passata with onions and garlic

• 4 tbsp tomato purée

• 2 garlic cloves, finely chopped

• 2 tsp gluten-free Worcestershire sauce

• 1 tbsp dark soy sauce/tamari

• 1 tsp dried mixed herbs

• 200g sugar snap peas

Serves: 4 Ready in: 55 mins

Syns per serving: FREE

SOMERCOTES VILLAGE HALL

Nottingham Road, Somercotes, DE55 4HQ

PALMER MOREWOOD MEMORIAL CLUB 36 Hall Street, Alfreton, DE55 7BU

CHRIST THE KING CHURCH HALL

Nottingham Road, Alfreton, DE55 7GL

FRIDAY MORNING

SELSTON PARISH HALL

Mansfield Road, Selston, NG16 6EE

Sue: 07738 118 130 28-30 King Street, Alfreton . DE55 7AG

 01773 521424  mail@framingandgifts.co.uk

PHONE: 01773 590 808

604 764 or 07483 357 958

Go online WWW.CLAIRSCOACHES.CO.UK

Vintage Rambles with rafaand Flake

We have been saving this walk for a nice summers day and luckily for us we chanced upon one, not least because the heavens opened not long after we got back to the car!

Rafa has now fully retired from the rambles. At 14 years (98 in dog years!) it is just proving too much for him. So Flake has taken on full responsibilities. Rafa has been teaching him all the important stuff, like how to pose for a nice picture, which way up to hold the map and which pockets Mum keeps the treats in. So, we will need a new name for the walks... any suggestions gratefully received!

6 MILE CIRCULAR WALK FROM PLEASLEY CHURCH

A medium length walk which should take you and your dog around 3 hours to complete. There are a few short sections of road so please take care. Most of the walk is on paths and trails but please wear appropriate footwear and please follow the countryside code.

START: CHURCH OF ST. MICHAEL, CHURCH LA. PLEASLEY , MANSFIELD, NOTTS. NG19 7TD.

1. Standing on the road with your back to the church, turn right along the road to the very end. Then take the footpath on the right hand side of the road and follow it uphill and round to the left. Where the path splits take the right fork and pass beneath a pedestrian flyover.

2. Continue along the path beside a dual carriageway. After a short distance turn left onto a signposted footpath down some steps. At the bottom of the

steps turn right and then after a very short distance at a T junction of paths turn left.

3. Continue to pass through a metal width restrictor and then continue for some distance until reaching a path on your right. Turn right along the path going uphill with a stone wall on your right.

4. At the top of the hill the path joins with another path. Continue straight to pass over a bridge,

past a sign for ‘Mansfield’ on your left and after some distance past a footpath sign on your right. Continue straight and eventually pass underneath a stone arch bridge and then further on pass by a metal gate. After a short distance you will reach a road. Turn left along the road.

5. Continue along the road until reaching some houses on your left. At this point turn right along a single track road signposted for ‘St. Chad’s Church’. When you reach the church on your right continue straight ahead to cross over a metal stile onto a signposted footpath. Continue straight keeping a river over to your left.

6. After some distance you will reach a T junction with a lane. Turn right along the lane and after a short distance pass underneath a railway bridge. After this follow the lane around to the right and continue along the lane for some distance until passing through a metal gate onto a road.

7. Turn right along the road and after a short distance the road turns into a lane. Continue straight passing a ‘public bridleway’ signpost on your right and then further on pass a ‘public footpath’ signpost on your right.

8. Continue along the footpath and cross over a railway bridge. After cross over a stile and continue with a fence on your left. After crossing a 2nd stile continue until reaching a tarmac lane.

Call us on 01773 602 466

9. Continue straight along the tarmac lane until reaching a road. Cross straight over the road and continue along a single track road. Continue straight to the very end of the road and pass through a metal width restrictor onto a footpath.

10. Continue uphill with a hedge on both sides and then upon reaching a T junction of paths, turn right to pass through a metal gate and cross an open field. At the far side of the field pass through a gap in the hedge to cross another open field. At the far side of this field upon reaching a lane, turn right along the lane and then immediately left to skirt along the edge of a field with a hedge on your left.

11. Continue to a large opening in the hedge on your left. At this point turn left to continue uphill along the edge of a field with a hedge on your right. At the top of the hill pass a yellow marker post on your left and continue to cross another field.

12. At the far side of this field pass a yellow marker post on your right, cross straight over a lane and continue downhill to cross another field.

13. At the far side of the field head into some trees and then down some steps onto a road. Turn right along the road to eventually pass back underneath the pedestrian flyover and follow the path around

This walk is for illustrative purposes only. Voice Magazines Ltd takes no responsibility for anyone who chooses to follow this route and encourages all walkers to obey all byelaws and signs and to respect the area they are walking in, ensuring they pick up all dog mess and obey the countryside code at all times.

THE LITTLE RED HEN HOUSE NORTHUMBERLAND

STUNNING HOLIDAY COTTAGE IN WARKWORTH, NORTHUMBERLAND

Treat yourself to a luxury break at the 4* Gold Award winning Little Red Hen House. An elegant and cosy holiday home just a 7 minute drive from award-winning and dog-friendly Warkworth beach.

✽ 2 spacious en-suite bedrooms

✽ A fully enclosed garden

✽ 2 small to medium dogs welcome (3 upon request)

✽ Fully equipped kitchen, including an American style fridge freezer

✽ Perfect for exploring the stunning Northumbrian Heritage Coastline

✽ Close to a range of dog friendly pubs, cafes and restaurants in stunning Warworth

✽ We have fast fibre Wi-Fi and smart TV’s

Search ‘The Little Red Hen House’ at:

*SALE* PRICES REDUCED ON 2023 BOOKINGS! *SALE*

for a FREE no obligation quote

Please call FREEPHONE 0800 747 1902 or 01623 859932 for a no obliga�on quote Unit F2, Concept 360, Chadburn House, Weighbridge Road, Mansfield. NG18 1AH

home the value &

your home the value &

your home the value &

AWARD WINNING timber windows & doors

Whether your home is a country cottage, a Victorian semi, a modern town-house or a converted barn, enjoy a 10% discount off all timber windows and doors in our Summer Sale until the end of July 2023.*

Whether your home is a country cottage, a Victorian a modern town-house or a converted barn, enjoy 10% discount off all timber windows and doors in Summer Sale until the end of July 2023.*

timber windows & doors

Award winning Timber Windows & Doors. Natural, Constructed from engineered timber, their strength, stability and beauty are guaranteed. Sustainable and ethical, our beautiful timber windows and doors are the logical choice.

AWARD WINNING timber windows & doors

Whether your home is a country cottage, a Victorian semi, a modern town-house or a converted barn, enjoy a 10% our Summer Sale until the end of July 2023.*

Please visit us to explore our range of beautifully crafted engineered timber doors and windows, and get expert advice on enhancing the value and beauty of your home.

Please visit us to explore our range of beautifully crafted engineered timber doors and windows, and get expert advice on enhancing the value and beauty of your home.

Whether your home is a country cottage, a Victorian semi, a modern town-house or a converted barn, enjoy a 10% our Summer Sale until the end of July 2023.*

discount is applicable on all www.timberwindows.com products.

Please visit us to explore our range of beautifully crafted engineered timber doors and windows, and get expert advice on enhancing the value and beauty of your home.

Please visit us to explore our range of beautifully crafted engineered timber doors and windows, and get expert advice on enhancing the value and beauty of your home.

*10% discount is applicable on all www.timberwindows.com products.

*10% discount is applicable on all www.timberwindows.com products.

TEL: 01773 747456

Aluco manufactures iconic steel replica, heritage, Art-Deco or industrial-styled glazing solutions. Aluco delivers expertly crafted, cleverly designed, and above all, authentic in style, steel-look windows and doors.

ALL TIMBER & DOORS

Email: info@derwentwindows.co.uk

Opening Times: Monday - Saturday 9:30am - 4:30pm

www.timberwindows.com

Visit Our Showrooms

The Old Church, 31 Nottingham Road, Ripley, Derbyshire, DE5 3AS

The Old Church, 31 Nottingham Road, Ripley, Derbyshire, DE5 3AS

The Old Bank,

The Old Bank, 1 Radcliffe Road, West Bridgford, Nottinghamshire, NG2 5FF

Opening Times: Monday - Saturday 9:30am - 4:30pm

Ian Wilson Electrical Services

Rewires, Extra Sockets, Lights, Fault Finding, Inspection & Testing, Etc.

• Consumer Unit Upgrades

• Landlord Reports

Call Ian for a FREE no obligation quote on Tel : 01773 306 460

Mob : 07549 617 536

Email: iwilsonelectrical@gmail.com

Book Review

Year 1560. Italy. 15-year-old Lucrezia di Cosimo de’ Medici leaves the safety of her family home in Florence to begin arranged married life with Alfonso, Duke of Ferrara. Within a year, she was dead. The rumour was that her husband killed her.

The Italian Renaissance was a time of treachery, plot, power and sumptuous luxury. It was a dangerous time to be alive, but it was especially precarious for women, effectively held captive by their families and by outside society with little hope of release or rebellion. Their lives were largely lived in the shadow of the men at their side.

Maggie O’Farrell’s novel The Marriage Portrait is based in history. She uses historical fact and real characters from the period so finely that you feel totally enveloped and transported to the time and place.

The book is a delight, detailed and compelling – and such a page turner. Lucrezia may be trapped in this world, but she leaps out into your head through this book. A real treat if you like to be captivated by your reading matter.

ALFRETON & DISTRICT HERITAGE TRUST HISTORY DETECTIVES

On the 23rd November 1899, the Brigade were encamped near Belmont Station on the Western Railway. Methuen’s ultimate objective being to relieve the siege of Ladysmith. Methuen planned an attack in the pre-dawn darkness on the Boer positions around Belmont the 9th Brigade was to attack Table Hill, the northern feature, while the Guards attacked Gun Hill. Each brigade was to be supported by an artillery battery. The troops marched out at around 3am well after the intended start time of 1.30am. The 9th Brigade advanced on Table Hill, the K.O.Y.L.I. advancing along the railway line by Belmont Station. By 4am it was light and it was whilst trying to outflank the Boers that Arthur was hit and seriously wounded, subsequently dying from his wounds the following night.

On a recent visit to St. Martin’s Parish Church, I was intrigued to come across a white Carrara Marble Tablet in the memory of Private Arthur Davis of the King’s Own Yorkshire Light Infantry who fell at the Battle of Belmont in November 1899 during the Great Boer War.

The Derby Mercury of 1st August 1900 tells us that work on the tablet, subscribed for by public subscription, had been entrusted to Mr. Bingham, Sculptor, of Tibshelf, and that the inscription, in gilt letters, would read “To the glory of God and in Memory of Arthur Davis, 2nd Battalion K.O.Y.L.I., who died fighting for Queen and Country at the battle of Belmont. November 23rd, 1899. Erected by public subscription.”

What then do we know of Arthur? Some detective work was required.

He was born at Alfreton on the 30th January 1873, the son of John Davis, a Greengrocer, and his wife Martha (nee Simpson), of 20 King Street, Alfreton. He was baptised on the 27th April 1873 at St Martin’s Parish Church, Alfreton.

In the 1881 Census Arthur, a scholar, is shown as living at 20 King Street, Alfreton with his parents and seven siblings. I wasn’t able to trace him in the 1891 Census, but it is possible that he had enlisted in the Army by this time.

Army records show that the 2nd Battalion K.O.Y.L.I. were serving in India up to February 1899 when they deployed to Mauritius. Following the outbreak of the Second Boer War in October 1899, the battalion transferred to South Africa where they formed part of the 9th Brigade under the command of Lord Methuen.

It was not until February 1900 that his parents became aware of his death through an account by Private J Coupe of Codnor Park, who was with Arthur throughout the action at Belmont. He described what occurred as follows:

“We had orders to try and outflank them and in doing so got pinned with a crossfire, in the course of which my friend fell on top of me, saying ‘they have done for me this time’ I tugged him behind a rock, took off his equipment, cut off his coat and shirt with my knife, bandaged up his wounds and gave him water. I got some assistance, put him on a stretcher and took him to a house close by which was made into a temporary hospital. There I had to leave him while the doctors dressed his wounds properly.”

The account continues telling of a visit a little later, “When I got to him, I saw that a change had come over him. He drank a little, but all came back. I stayed with him until midnight. He opened his eyes and asked for me. I said to him ‘Come on my lad, buck yourself up’ He replied, ‘I am going.’ He asked me to write to his mother at Alfreton and tell her not to take it hard as he had done his duty.

Then he passed away”

Arthur Davis lies buried near Belmont in South Africa with around twenty of his fellow soldiers. His name is remembered on the Kings Own Yorkshire Light Infantry Boer War Memorial in York Minster and on the grave of his parents, John and Martha, in Alfreton Cemetery.

Lest We Forget.

Marble Tablet at St. Martin’s Church

Map of Belmont

Parents in Alfreton Cemetery

South Africa Medal

Mike’sMusings

Mike is back with a tall tale and a punchline that will have you wincing! Enjoy!

Mike is always glad to hear from you at : mike.musings@outlook.com

If it’s amusing tales you want?

(After the Roger Rabbit tale from a few months ago, the feedback I got was………… can we have more please? Well, try these out!”)

A group of four-year-olds were trying very hard to become accustomed to school.

The biggest hurdle they faced was the teacher insisting that they were now old enough to stop using babyish language.

She was constantly asking them to use ‘big people’ words, just like Mum & Dad. An example of this came on the Monday that she asked the class what they had been doing over the weekend.

“Kayleigh,” she asked, “What did you do?”

When the little girl replied that she’d been to see Nana & Pops, the teacher suggested that a more grown-up way would be to say ‘GRANDPARENTS’.

When Ryker then said that he’d gone to Matlock and had a ride on the choo-choo, he was mildly admonished and told that it would be much better for him to say that he’d been on a ‘STEAM TRAIN’.

The teacher than asked Carson what he’d been doing and was pleasantly surprised, but pleased, when he said he’d been reading a book.

“That’s wonderful,” the teacher responded smiling, “and what book have you been reading?”

Carson, not used to such praise, puffed out his chest and proudly replied, “Miss, it was Winnie the S**t.”

A woman I know recently accompanied her husband to the surgery. He’d been having a few health problems, and after his check-up, the GP called the wife into his office alone.

He asked her to sit down as she had some disturbing news to impart. “Your husband,” he began, “is suffering from an extremely rare and severe disease. This combined with a high level of understandable stress is such that if you don’t follow my advice, he is likely to die in the very near future.”

“Each morning, you must fix him a healthy breakfast and be especially pleasant as it’s vital that he stay in a good mood.”

“For lunch, I’d suggest that you make him a nutritious meal, and for tea, something special, that you know he’ll enjoy.”

“You mustn’t burden him with any chores as this could exacerbate his condition and it’s important that you never discuss your problems with him as the added stress that this will undoubtedly cause, may prove fatal.”

“Finally, and this is important, as part of a planned recovery therapeutic programme, you must allow him to actively pursue his conjugal rights, without developing a headache or the like, whenever he feels the need.”

“If you can do this for the next ten months or so, it is likely that your husband will make a full recovery.” At this, the doctor wished her good luck before opening the door to reunite with her husband waiting patiently outside.

On the way home, the husband broke the eerie silence by asking, “You were in there quite some time. What did the doctor say?”

“You’re going to die,” was the speedy response.

All Around the Shire

MEMORIES OF MY MOTHER’S DRESSING TABLE

Some of the recent items we have acquired for our reminiscence sessions are a box of Carmen heated rollers with pins and a vanity set for a dressing table (a long-handled mirror and brush set). This has started me thinking about what my own mum held dear.

Although she had no time to sit and preen at the dressing table, my mother always found a small space where she could lay out some special items. Her vanity set had been a gift to her on her 21st birthday, it included a hand-held mirror with a matching brush and comb.

She owned a wooden, shell-encrusted jewellery box containing her earrings: clip-ons or screw-back type were the fashion then. Her beads, necklaces and paste pearls were laid out on a tray, with the longer strings hooked onto the side of the mirror. The tray also held a variety of trinkumtranks like odd buttons, curtain hooks, pins, coins, dry-cleaning tickets, hairpins and hairnets.

A lidded glass pot contained scented talcum powder and a soft puff for dusting after a bath. She also always had a pot of

Pond’s vanishing cream at hand and was never seen without lipstick.

A bottle of Tweed perfume and Avon “Sweet Honesty” stood together with a small flask of 4711.

At the back of the table was a spray bottle of hair lacquer and, later, a set of Carmen heated rollers and a bonnet hairdryer.

Some items came and went as the years passed but the object she treasured most on her dressing table, was an aged photograph of her own mum and dad.

I do hope you have memories of a dressing table that belonged to someone special in your life.

ALLOTMENT SHOP

PART 1 OF KATE NEALE’S ALLOTMENT JOURNEY

Why did I get an allotment?...

It all started with a polytunnel that was bought for my birthday in March during the first lock down. It seems a giant leap from a polytunnel to an allotment but it all flows.

The first summer I tried my hand at growing the usual tomatoes and cucumbers. I learned a lot that summer about sowing seeds, germination and watering. The second summer We bought a second polytunnel and embarked on trying to grow melons as well as beef tomatoes, cucumber and Gherkins. The gherkins grew and grew, the polytunnel became a jungle but I enjoyed the challenge of sowing the seeds and succeeding in keeping them alive long enough to provide us with fruit. It was a success, and we couldn’t shut the fridge door for all the produce!

The melon plant only had 2 fruits on it, so storage wasn’t too much of a problem. They were delicious and lasted 2.5 minutes when they were ripe enough to eat!

In the third year the polytunnels were packed to the rafters and the garden became the place for excess tomatoes. I also had planted butternut squash which climbed up the fence and the pumpkins were trailing through the grass. We also grew lettuce, leeks, potatoes and strawberries which we dotted around in the raised beds. We were at capacity for what we could grow in the space we had.

Year four came and my list of what I wanted to grow had become even longer. I liked the idea of growing some fruit as the strawberries at home never got to the kitchen; my grandchildren ate them whilst out playing in the garden. We didn’t have space for trees or any more strawberry plants in our garden, so that’s when we contacted our local allotments to see what was available. We heard back within days and was invited down to visit 2 allotment plots. To our delight, we chose a plot that was perfect for what we wanted with established fruit trees and a fruit cage that was so full of bramble, nettles and huge currant bushes we couldn’t get through the door. The plot was completely overgrown with weeds, there was a lot of hard work to be done. The challenge was accepted!

by Kate Neale LEABROOKS ALLOTMENT-SHOP

Peak District Peat Bogs on the road to recovery

The word ‘bog’ doesn’t necessarily conjure up a positive image; in fact, it is downright negative. And yet the peatlands of the Peak are proving vital for our battle against changing climate and in holding back floodwaters through ‘slowing the flow’ when rivers are swollen after storm events. At the head of each main river catchment, the peat-bogs hold back vast quantities of water which are then released over time and alleviate potential droughts downstream. The bog moss alone holds about twenty times its own weight in water. What is more, the peatlands are wonderfully rich biodiversity sites too with unique species of plants, animals, and fungi. However, there is bad news because for over two hundred years people have drained and burned the peatlands, and our atmospheric pollution has killed off the vital sphagnum mosses which when healthy hold the water, provide habitat for rare species, and remarkably too, capture carbon that is laid down as peat. Two centuries of over-grazing by sheep has also done for the peat bogs and this reached its nadir in the late twentieth century. All in all, this is bad news, and a major cause of a collapse of what we now call ‘ecosystem services’ like floodwater control and carbon capture.

But there is good news today because with reduced sheep numbers, lowered air pollution, and some tender loving care, our bogs are bouncing back to life. Some of this is due to major investment in projects to block drains, alleviate soil acidity, and even to

re-seed sphagnum mosses back into the degraded peat landscapes. However, for me even more exciting, is the ability of nature to heal itself. My colleagues and I have been monitoring sphagnum mosses and rare flowers on Ringinglow Bog near Sheffield. It is doing what I call ‘self-rewilding’ as the peat-building bog mosses are returning with ten or more species now recorded in what was described as a ‘sphagnum desert’ back in the 1980s. This is in an area where there has been no artificial introduction of sphagnum, but nature has been left to repair itself.

Furthermore, the flowering plants of moorland and peat bog are also returning. The bog mosses are now joined by the elusive bog rosemary or ‘Andromeda’ which has returned in abundance. Last recorded in the 1960s and 1970s before the North Sea Gas pipeline cut a deep trench though both moor and bog, this plant has made a remarkable and unexpected recovery. Sundew is reappearing in its old haunts, along with one of my favourites, the diminutive upland lily, bog asphodel, and the archetypical flowers of wet bogs, the cranberry, and the cross-leaved heath. Not far away, the once extinct royal fern has reappeared and joins several other upland wet bog ferns such as hard fern, lemon-scented fern, and narrow buckler-fern.

As the bogs recover then so do associated wildlife species such as the upland dragonflies, goldenringed and black darter, and of course that often unnoticed denizen of upland bogs, the water vole. Golden plover, dunlin, and curlew are birds that also depend on these wetlands for their survival. Each visit holds the hope of the re-discovery of a precious species once thought lost forever.

Professor Ian D. Rotherham, researcher, writer, broadcaster on wildlife and environmental issues in the Peak District and elsewhere, is contactable on info@hallamec.plus.com. Follow his website

Gardener’s Calendar

They can encourage blanket and pond weed and blue green algae which can be dangerous for dogs and cause rashes to humans. You’ll know it’s blue green algae if you swirl a stick in the water and it comes out like blue green paint. However bubble fountains such as the little solar ones available in most garden centres help keep a pond healthy. Removing weed with a stick or net will improve its overall health, but leave the weed on the side of the pond overnight to allow any critters to crawl out.

Keeping a decent shape to your lavender for next year needs action once the flowers have gone over – usually around August. Lavenders tend to look straggly if left to their own devices. When trimming don’t cut back into old wood as this may inhibit growth. Cut back to green stem and this will allow an inch or two of growth before winter putting it in a good condition for spring. Prune your blackcurrant and summer fruiting raspberries once they’ve finished fruiting. Cut back this year’s fruited canes and stems and leave the green canes for next year. If you’ve got a glut – what a wonderful thought, having a glut of rasps ! – freeze them on trays and bag for winter glee.

The warm humid conditions of summer are good for many parts of the garden but may not be so healthy for ponds