THE
Ideal Christian
MARRIAGE Understanding How it Works
Author: Sam Olamiji Akibu
TH E IDEAL
CH RISTIAN
MARRIAG E UNDERSTANDING
HOW IT WORKS
SAM OLAMIJI AKIBU
ISBN: 9780914368601 The Ideal Christian Marriage: Understanding How it Works. By Sam Olamiji Akibu. Published in the U.S.A. by First Fruits Press, 2019. Originally published: Lagos, Nigeria: Ideal Life Publications, ©2017. Digital version at https://place.asburyseminary.edu/firstfruitsbooks/17/ First Fruits Press is a digital imprint of the Asbury Theological Seminary, B.L. Fisher Library. Asbury Theological Seminary is the legal owner of the material previously published by the Pentecostal Publishing Co. and reserves the right to release new editions of this material as well as new material produced by Asbury Theological Seminary. Its publications are available for noncommercial and educational uses, such as research, teaching and private study. First Fruits Press has licensed the digital version of this work under the Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial 3.0 United States License. To view a copy of this license, visit http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/3.0/us/. For all other uses, contact: First Fruits Press B.L. Fisher Library Asbury Theological Seminary 204 N. Lexington Ave. Wilmore, KY 40390 http://place.asburyseminary.edu/firstfruits Akibu, Olamiji The ideal Christian marriage : understanding how it works [electronic resource]/ Sam Olamiji, Akibu. – Wilmore, Kentucky : First Fruits Press, ©2019. 1 online resource (182 p. : port.) : digital. Reprint. Previously published: Lagos, Nigeria: Ideal Life Publications, ©2017. ISBN: 9780914368595 (paperback) ISBN: 9780914368601 (uPDF) ISBN: 9780914368618 (Mobi) OCLC: 1128023910 1. Marriage--Religious aspect--Christianity. 2. Marriage--Biblical teaching. I. Title.
BT706.A44 2019eb Cover design by April Hardman
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“N ow the Lord G od said, it is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) That the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him… therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” - (G en.2:18, 24) Amplified 20
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1 MARRIAG E IS G O D 'S ID EA
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H owever, partnership here should not erode the respect and honor the wife has towards the husband.
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So the LO RD G od caused the man to fall into a deep sleep and while he was sleeping, H e took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LO RD G od made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man - G en 2:21-22.
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2 TH ERE IS A N EED TO FIN D AN ID EAL PARTN ER
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Like I said many years back, that who you decide to spend the rest of your life with will either help you get to where you are going, or hinder you from getting there.
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“Trust in the LO RD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge H im, And H e shall direct your parts�. - Prov.3:5-6(N KJV)
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3 TH ERE ARE STEPS TO TAKE
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FUN DAMEN TAL LESSO N S TO LEARN
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“M arriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for G od will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral� - H eb.13:4
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4 ID EAL C H RISTIAN C O URTSH IP AN D WED D IN G
P all that is needed for you to connect to a godly and happy marriage is depended upon how godly and sincere your courtship had been
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For this reason a man will leave his father and M other and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked and they felt no shame. - G en.2:24-25
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5 BO N D IN G - BEC O MIN G O N E FLESH
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Marriage is not marriage until it has experienced openness and transparency
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“H usbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers� - 1 Pet.3:7
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6 RO LES AN D RESPO N SIBILITIES O F AN ID EAL H USBAN D
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W ives, in the same way, be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence o your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in G od's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in G od used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah who obeyed Abraham and called him her master (Lord). You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. - 1Pet.3:1-6 106
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It then behaves of the woman to also catch the vision and prayerfully seek to understand how best she will help the man to fulfill this G od given vision
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Drink water from your own Cistern, running water from your own well. Should your spring overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with the strangers. M ay your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer-may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. W hy be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? W hy embrace the bosom of another man's wife? - Prov.5:15-20. 116
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8 SEX IS FO R C O UPLES
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Sex enhances the love between the husband and the wife. It brings couples closer together. Most hard feelings melt during/ after sex
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“For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil… ” - 1Tim.6:10 N IV “… but money is the answer for everything” - Eccl.10:19 N IV
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9 MO N EY MATTER IS A SERIO US MATTER
T In pre-marital counseling rooms, a lot of time and energy is devoted to monetary or financial issues due to its delicate and strategic place in marriage but I have always been of the...
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“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body� - Eph.4:25
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10 LET'S TALK - C O MMUN IC ATIO N
T But understand this: C onflict or disagreement is inevitable in marriage
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Sons are a heritage from the Lord children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate. -(Ps. 127:3-5) N IV 146
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11 PAREN TIN G IS A MAN DATE
T There is how to train, there is how not to train, depending on the training of the trainer himself
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"Look," said N aomi, "your sister-in-law is going back to her people and her gods. G o back with her." But Ruth replied, “Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. W here you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your G od my G od. 17 W here you die I will die, and there I will be buried. M ay the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me." 18 W hen N aomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her. - Ruth 1:15-19 N IV. 160
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12 TH E IN -LAWS FAC TO RS
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C O N C LUSIO N S
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n conclusion, G od has created marriage for blessing and not a curse, for happiness and not sorrow, for enjoyment and not encroachment, for compliment and not infringement, and that “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for G od will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral� H eb. 13:4, therefore, it is never part of G od's will for anyone to experience pain, agony and tears in marriage. So when a marriage begins to experience the other part, it's either there is a violation of divine injunction, or there is somebody who has allowed himself or herself to be robbed by the devil of his or her right of enjoying a fruitful and fulfilling marriage through ignorance. H os. 4:6 169
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WIN N IN G PRAYERS FO R SIN G LES
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N O TES
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C O MMEN TS AN D REC O MMEN DATIO N S
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n our increasingly global world, it is important for the Church to hear the voices of emerging theologians and scholars from different parts of the world. This work, originally published in Nigeria is just one such example. How we read and understand scripture, and how we apply it to our cultural contexts may vary from place to place, but as a Global Church, we need to both listen and understand the viewpoints of other brothers and sisters. First Fruits Press is committed to helping bring such voices to the complete Body of Christ whenever possible
About the Author: Samuel Olamiji Akibu is a Nigerian Pastor-theologian, evangelist, and a Bible college lecturer. He is the coordinator of Ideal Life Ministries, and Ideal Life Bible College. He is also a consummate preacher, teacher, and a conference speaker whose ministry’s gift has reached major cities across Nigeria, Africa, and the United States. Prior to this time, he has served as a Pastor as well as at different leadership positions in his church denomination and across Christian ministries. He holds a Bachelor of Arts and Master of Arts degrees in Theology and Biblical Studies respectively from West Africa Theological Seminary, Lagos, Nigeria, and he is currently pursuing a Ph.D. in Biblical Studies (OT) at Asbury Theological Seminary, Wilmore, Kentucky, United States where he lives with beautiful wife, Veronica Afolashade and their lovely kids.