Hope House tab

A PUBLICATION OF THE LEE’S SUMMIT JOURNAL

30 years of

HOPE

Shelter • outreach • prevention

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By russ pulley | rpulley@lsjournal.com

Hope House opened in a three-bedroom house in Independence 30 years ago.

At once, it was too small.

Today, despite the agency adding many beds, it still is.

The plan to open Hope House began in February 1982 when a police officer one night found a woman huddled in a parked car, out of gas. She had serious facial injuries. Her children were under blankets in the rear seat. She explained to the officer that she had no money, no friends and no place to go. And the officer had no place for her to go. Kansas City shelters were full.

The officer afterward contacted Mayor Barbara Potts.

Potts said she realized that lack of shelters for homeless people and domestic violence victims was a serious problem and invited community leaders to a meeting.

Preachers and leaders of women’s organizations responded. Within six months, in January 1983, the community raised enough money to hire a director, a three-bedroom house was donated, and Hope House opened.

In 1985 the shelter moved to a four-bedroom house, again always full.

“We often had more than 30, it was stuffed to the extreme,” said MaryAnne Metheny, Hope House CEO. In that era, society was just acknowledging the issue, although the shelter did get an outpouring of support, Potts said.

Potts said one friend advised her privately not to get involved because domestic violence was a “feminist” issue and an education issue.

“It was consciousness raising and education for the whole community,” Potts said. “I said, ‘Hey, women are being killed, children beaten, it’s a human rights issue.’”

Potts said the Community of Christ Church played a major role in establishing Hope House, donating land for shelters in Independence and Lee’s Summit.

Potts said Hope House was blessed to have two excellent directors, first Sue Else followed by Metheny, to guide the agency. “They provide a wonderful and difficult service,” she said.

Metheny has been with Hope House since 1992, starting as a therapist and moving into various jobs until becoming CEO. The very first shelter, Metheny said, was just a place of safety, and

clients were crowded into rooms.

Metheny said Hope House workers realized the women and children needed services beyond a room and meals.

In 1987, Hope House opened outreach offices in Independence and Blue Springs for support groups and counseling. By 1991 it had court advocates for victims in municipal courts and state criminal court.

Advocates are in 12 area courts today.

The agency hired case managers to help women identify goals.

Licensed therapists worked with them to address the trauma they had from experiencing domestic violence. Some women had substance abuse issues and Hope House provided counseling for that. The agency started a Civil Legal Program in 2001; it now has two attorneys to help Hope House clients with legal cases.

In 2002, Hope House began participating in a metro-wide hospital advocacy program with other shelters. When a person is treated for injuries from domestic violence, Hope House caseworkers can be at the hospital in 30 minutes to inform victims of the options available to them.

The same year the agency started its Guardian program in Independence, providing supervision of parents meeting to exchange custody of children, or supervised visitation.

When a couple separates or is divorcing, it is an extremely dangerous time for women when domestic violence is involved, Metheny said.

Women can be especially vulnerable when they must meet the other parent to exchange custody.

Hope House joined a Lethality Assessment Program started in 2009, in cooperation with police in Raytown, Lee’s Summit and Grandview.

Officers can use research-based measurements to determine the likely outcome should the victim of domestic violence remain in that situation.

That program grew to include Independence and Blue Springs.

“We do safety planning that will meet their needs,” Metheny said. “We work with them about where they are and what their needs are.”

Improvements to the shelters were ongoing as well.

In 1993, a capital campaign raised $2.3 million to build a new facility in Independence, which opened in 1995, designed to provide therapeutic programming.

The Lee’s Summit shelter came about because of three murders within history | page 5

www.lsjournal.com | Wednesday, October 23, 2013 | 5 simmonsfirst.com

HISTORY Continued from 4 a six-month period, all domestic violence.

Mayor Karen Messerli formed a task force on the problem and approached Hope House about adding a shelter in her city. “The timing was good for us, so we embarked on expansion,” Metheny said.

Another capital campaign raised $4 million for construction of that 52bed campus which opened in 2002.

Hope House’s staff has grown to 85 full-and part-time employees that include administration, licensed therapists, a director of facilities and kitchen staff.

“We provide everything people need during the course of a day,” she said.

Now with 122 beds, Hope House is the largest domestic violence shelter in Missouri.

Metheny said there are people to this day who don’t know Hope House is there to help them, yet Hope House serves about 4,000 clients annually throughout all of its programming and turned away 1,400 others from shelter alone last year.

“It’s hard. It’s extremely hard. There’s nothing worse than telling someone we don’t have room for them,” Metheney said. “Sometimes we say, ‘OK come on in, we’ll figure it out and we’ll set up cots in storage rooms or offices if we have to.’”

The agency also helps men who are victims of domestic violence. If they need shelter, they find them a hotel room.

Anyone who needs help can call the hotline 816-461-HOPE (816-4614673).

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MEMBER FDIC / SINCE 1903

1800 SE Blue Parkway (Blue Parkway and Todd George Road) Lee’s Summit, MO / (816) 525-3242

6 | Wednesday, October 23, 2013 | www.lsjournal.com

Domestic Violence Hotline Available 24 hours a day, anyone suffering from abuse (women, teens, men) may call the metroarea domestic violence hotline for help, support or immediate shelter (for women and their children only). Reasonable accommodations for interpreters and auxiliary aids are available For information about Hope House and the many services it offers, please call the Hope House hotline at 816-461-HOPE (4673).

• TTY (English):1-800-735-2966 • TTY (Spanish/Español):1-800-520-7309 Shelter • Safe, confidential shelter for up to 122 women and children per day

Who should I call to report domestic violence?

Call 911 to report to the police. Call the 24-hour Hope House Hotline to ask for assistance or shelter at 816-461-HOPE (4673) (a local call from the Kansas City metro area).

How do I access Hope House services?

By calling the 24-hour crisis hotline, 816461-HOPE (4673). Family, friends, police, judges, or social services agencies also refer people to us.

Are services provided only to Jackson County residents?

No, we will provide assistance to anyone who calls. Hope House is a member of the Missouri Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence, a group of 67 domestic violence centers located throughout the state of Missouri. While our primary service area is Eastern Jackson County in the Kansas City metro area, Hope House does not deny services based on geographic location. If possible we can refer a client to more convenient services anywhere in the United States.

Are men eligible for client services?

Yes, all services are available to men except shelter. We provide hotel vouchers for men.

What is the profile of a victim of domestic violence?

• Individual therapy for adults and children • Group therapy for adults and children • Substance abuse counseling • Referrals for housing, financial and medical needs • On-site clothing and supplies closet • Case management services • Extended Stay Program Outreach • Individual counseling for non-residential victims, both adults and children • Substance abuse counseling • Support groups with child care provided • Support for friends and family • Hospital-based Advocacy Program

There is no single profile. Victims come from all walks of life, all incomes, races, religions, and economic levels.

Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

The number one reason is fear. Many have no knowledge of available help; some fear losing their children; some fear being alone; some are without economic income and feel they have no skills to be employable; most have very low self-esteem. If you know someone in this situation, please do not ask them why they stay. Offer them our hotline number and your emotional support. Let them know they deserve better.

How many clients can be sheltered at once?

We have a 122 beds located at two confidential shelters located in Lee’s Summit and Independence, Missouri.

Is your shelter usually full?

Yes, we are often over capacity. Hope House sheltered over 1,123 women and children in our fiscal year 2012.

What is the length of time a client can stay at the shelter?

We don’t have a length of stay. We work with each person individually on their goals and timeline for their stay.

Do you offer services for children staying in shelter

• Supervised visitation center for safe exchange and therapeutic visits with non-custodial parents Legal • Emergency Ex-Parte orders • Contract attorney to assist with divorce and child custody issues (for current clients only) • Court advocacy programs in 12 courts in eastern Jackson County, Missouri Prevention • Speakers’ Bureau • Training for law enforcement and medical professionals • Information on domestic violence issues • Volunteer program

with their mothers?

Yes. Besides activities at our on-site Family Care Center, we offer therapy for children that focuses on healing and rebuilding a sense of trust and safety.

If the shelter is full, how does Hope House help women?

As part of the Metropolitan Family Violence Coalition, Hope House collaborates with other domestic violence shelters in Kansas City to find safe shelter when all our beds are full.

In Fiscal Year 2012 (10/1/11 through 9/30/12) administrative cost was 10.45 percent of our budget; fundraising was 11.51 percent. Because we are not a part of a national organization, all of our funding stays local.

How many people do you employ?

The agency employs 51 full-time, 9 parttime and 16 on-call employees. We have approximately 221 volunteers who assist them.

How can people help?

Where are the children while their mothers are getting services?

There are many ways help.

You can donate funds—contribute annually, arrange for a planned gift, give a monthly donation, or sponsor one of our events.

Or donate time— volunteer to help at one of the many events Hope House has every year; help out in the Hope Street Boutique by sorting out our donated goods; get a group together and donate a day of doing good by helping to maintain our facilities.

Is there a fee for women to stay at the shelter?

How much does it cost to keep a woman at the shelter a day?

While mothers receive services children can be in school, in their own individual counseling services, participating in activities with the Children’s Advocate, or in group care while mom is attending her own group session.

There is no fee to stay at the shelter.

How is Hope House funded?

Grants, United Way, general contributions by businesses, service organizations, churches and individuals, events, foundations, cities, and non-cash contributions.

What are your administrative/fundraising costs?

Approximately $30.

Are there any other Hope House shelters in Missouri?

There are 67 domestic violence centers maintaining shelters throughout Missouri.

While Hope House only has shelters in Independence and Lee’s Summit, we are the largest domestic violence shelter in the state.

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As we look back on our 30th year of serving the community, we reflect on what it is we really have to commemorate. We live in hope every day because we accomplish something remarkable every day. In fact, last year we were able to achieve the following:

In a time of economic downturn, we overcame funding challenges to maintain programs and provide quality services. We met client needs in a comprehensive, meaningful way. We strove to engage survivors and inspire them to transform their lives. We are privileged to do this work each and every day.

Without the support of our community and friends, our volunteers and donors, more lives would be at stake. The numbers above speak for themselves. But our work is about much more than numbers – it is about transformation. It’s about giving hope. Next year marks our 31st anniversary of bringing hope to the community. We are so grateful to be celebrating with you.

HOPE • MKL Attorneys & Advisors Congratulates •

HOUSE

for 30 years of shining a light on domestic violence and forming a safety net of prevention, education and support to empower women and children.

www.mkllaw.com

Christine T. Bushyhead of MKL Attorneys & Advisors offers a 360o perspective in the community building process with over 26 years of public sector experience.

Contact Christine at:

(816) 994-3509 christinebushyhead@mkllaw.com www.mkllaw.com

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By toriano porter | tporter@lsjournal.com

The stories are endless, if not at times heartbreaking.

Of the hundreds of women Hope House has helped over the years, the testimonials vary, but most of them end the same way: The non-profit organization has been a God-send for some of the women that have ventured inside the doors of the shelter for battered and abused women.

Christine (her middle name) was more than willing to share her story. Hope House was instrumental in her escaping years of abusive relationships.

“I was just a few months removed from my second abusive marriage,” Christine said. “I went through the whole mind battle of ‘why does this keep happening to me?’ What am I doing wrong?’ I heard about an intensive therapy group they were having and it was

By toriano porter | tporter@lsjournal.com

In the 13-plus years Kathy Lamont has off and on used the services of Hope House, she has come to appreciate the help.

Lamont, the mother of three girls, has faced the side effects of an abusive relationship over the years, but through it all, Hope House has been a steady, calming force for the Independence woman.

“It was absolutely awesome,” she said.

“The staff at Hope House – everyone from the cook to the maintenance people to the clinical staff to the people that stood behind the desks, every one of them was respectful to me. I had really low self-esteem and I still work on that, but I didn’t realize the systematic breaking down of a human being in a violent relationship until I worked with them.

“It’s a total person approach. I couldn’t say anything bad about any of them, honestly.

called ‘Survivors.’ It was a group of other women with similar experiences. The whole class was about going from a victim’s mentality to a survivor’s mentality and learning why is it that women that end up in these relationships. Continue to end up in these relationships.

“The answer to that question is a lack of self love. The class taught us the tools to learn to love self.”

Christine spent about three months using the services provided by Hope House.

After her tenure there, she was armed with enough strength to continue her education and feeling the self-love that her previous relationships made her question.

“It really gave me hope for the future, which is one thing after my second failed marriage – coming into it I didn’t have much hope and a whole lot of fear of I’m never going to be in a healthy relationship,” she

said. “It brought me a newfound courage to love myself.

“It’s a place where you will go and you’ll be understood by other women. It’s not difficult to tell your story. It’s a place where you fit in and you’re not judged and you’re surrounded by love.”

Taking her experiences and education into account, Christine is now a licensed counselor, helping others as Hope House once helped her.

“I am now a licensed counselor myself,” Christine said. “Through my experiences I’ve grown and now I’m even helping other women who are going through what I’ve been through. It just shows that you can be down and out and leave a marriage and feel like you have absolutely nothing – since my last marriage I’ve gotten my Master’s and I’ve risen above the hopeless place where you are when you leave.”

They’ve been nothing but – I think these words have been said before, but it is so true – they kind of loved me until I could love myself and that has been my experience with Hope House. I’ve never been to another shelter or had therapy anywhere else. Everything that I have gotten as far as growing as an individual and a happy female has been because of Hope House. ” As often with the victims of an abusive relationship, Lamont said she went back and forth between leaving her husband for good or returning to the dysfunction. After a ninemonth stay in 2011 at Hope House shelter, Lamont said she is grateful for the experience.

“September of 2000 is when I first ended up going into the shelter to be safe from my abuser at that time,” Lamont said. “It was an ongoing thing for probably about six or seven years, off and on, that I would go back. Then

I continued off and on – it was probably a couple of years where it was non-stop Hope House. When I needed a safe place, I would go there.

“I was probably in the shelter four, possibly five times. A couple of times I only stayed for a couple of days and left because the shelter life is kind of hard. Two times I stayed a little longer until the first time I was able to get into transitional housing for me and my daughters.”

In the end, Lamont said she is forever indebted to the staff at Hope House, but she also thanked the local community for providing donations to the non-profit organization.

“I’m grateful for all of the people who do donate anything from a toothbrush to shampoo and that kind of thing,” Lamont said. “Without the donations the place wouldn’t exist and I really would have been beaten up and dead if I didn’t have Hope House.”

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Around this time of year, you hear more about Hope House, the largest shelter in the state of Missouri, and other domestic violence programs in the area. That’s because October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. And while there are many issues that have months dedicated to awareness, from grave illness to serious injustice, few have as stark and disturbing statistics as Domestic Violence.

Consider the numbers One in four women in the United States is the victim of domestic violence. ONE in FOUR. 25 percent of all women. It’s an astounding number.

And with an estimated 158 million women in the United States, that is a staggering 39.5 million women – each year – experiencing domestic violence in their lives.

Living with it. Coping with it. Trying to understand it. Change it. Survive it.

And it doesn’t stop there On the average, three women actually lose their lives every day in our country

as a result of domestic violence. THREE DEATHS. EVERY SINGLE DAY. Three mothers. Three sisters. Three daughters.

Three wives. Three girlfriends. Three nieces and aunts. Three teachers. Doctors.

Administrators. Lawyers. Stay-at-homemoms. Three women a day from any and all walks of life and from every geographic point on the map, because domestic violence does not discriminate. It knows no age. No sexual orientation. No race or religion. No socio-economic status.

In Missouri alone, there were 40,613 incidents of domestic violence in 2011 resulting in 71 deaths. 43.6 percent of those homicides were wives, common-law wives or girlfriends.* In 2013, an incredible 38 percent of all murders of women globally were reported as being committed by their partners.** For us this means working with the whole problem. Taking into consideration the complete picture and approaching solutions by addressing the full range of issues surrounding domestic violence.

We do that by offering comprehensive

outreach services as well as emergency housing in our two shelters. That includes individual and group counseling, a safe visitation center, court advocacy, a legal program and a hospital based advocacy program.

For thirty years, we have effectively tackled the problem of domestic violence and its impact on both adult and child victims.

Community support of Hope House has always been strong and we are grateful to those partners. We rely on that support in order to provide the necessary lifelines we offer. Lifelines that are critical in breaking the cycle of violence for women and children in our community. To donate, become a volunteer, or learn more about Hope House and domestic violence, visit hopehouse.net. *Missouri State Highway Patrol Statistical Analysis Center. ** The World Health Organization MaryAnne Metheny is the CEO of Hope House.

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1985

In just one year of operation, Hope House is able to provide safe shelter for 570 women and 240 children. Approximately 949 hotline calls were received that first year.

1987

Hope House moves to larger 4 bedroom/2 bath shelter donated by RLDS Church.

The new facility is able to shelter 30 women and children.

Hope House expands services by opening outreach offices in Blue Springs and Independence to offer support groups and individual counseling.

1989

The judicial system in the Greater Kansas City metro area implements legislative changes in the Adult Abuse Act. The city now prosecutes abusers, so the victim cannot drop charges.

This helps ensure the safety of the victim and sends a clear message to the abuser that domestic violence is against the law and will not be tolerated.

1995

1996

1999

2000

Hope House hires first full-time court advocate to aid victims in court.

2001 1991

Hope House expands Court Advocacy Program to six municipal courts and two associate circuit courts, including state criminal court.

Hope House expands services to include Life Skills Program and Substance Abuse/Addictions Program.

1993

Hope House raises $2.3 million to build new facility in Independence.

1994

Hope House begins construction of new 8.2 acre campus in Independence.

In June, the new Hope House campus opens. It is designed to provide therapeutic programming and crisis shelter for battered women and children. The new campus includes a 10,000 square foot living center, a children’s therapeutic center, an adult therapeutic center, a building for prevention education and administrative offices.

For the first time, Hope House is able to offer child care, allowing women to drop off their children while they receive therapy.

Hope House expands outreach services in Lee’s Summit by hiring a full-time staff member to facilitate support groups and act as a court advocate to victims.

Concerned citizens of Lee’s Summit approach Hope House to operate an additional facility in Lee’s Summit.

Hope House hires a full-time attorney to represent clients in civil court appearances.

Hope House kicks off a capital campaign for construction of a new shelter in Lee’s Summit and raises $2.7 million of the $4 million goal.

Hope House launches its Civil Legal Program.

Completes fundraising for capital campaign reaching $4 million goal and starts construction.

2002

In May, the new Lee’s Summit Hope House campus opens with a 52 bed shelter, early childhood center, therapeutic/training space and administrative offices. Within 10 minutes of announcing the official opening Hope House receives its first call for assistance and shelter. All other facilities in the area were full and without the expansion of this new shelter, the woman and her children would not have been able to find safe refuge.

Hope House expands services to include a metro-wide hospital-based Advocacy program in collaboration with other domestic violence shel-

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2002

2003

ters in the Kansas City area.

Hope House expands services to include the “Guardian Program,” a visitation program that offers a safe option for parent/child visitation in families experiencing domestic violence.

Hope House and the Independence Police Department implements a new “callout system”. Repeat domestic violence offenders and cases where there is a high potential for lethality are flagged in the police computer system. If a call comes from a home that is flagged, the on-call detective and the on-call advocate will be dispatched to the home. The advocate assists the victim with filing an emergency ex-parte, safety planning and other resources, including Hope House services.

Hope House begins offering Substance Abuse counseling to women who are incarcerated and have domestic violence and substance abuse issues. The goal is to reduce the number of women leaving incarceration that feel as if their only option is to return to an abusive situation.

2007

2009

Hope House hires a Court Advocate for Blue Springs.

2005

2006

Hope House starts the Extended Stay program to assist women who are no longer in need of emergency shelter, but continue to face barriers in obtaining permanent housing.

Hope House is chosen to participate in a pilot project called Lethality Assessment Program. The LAP provides a research based tool that can be used by police officers to assess the level of danger a victim may be in if she remains in her current situation.

Hope House’s Human Trafficking Program grant period ended on December 31 and was not renewed.

Hope House hires a second full-time attorney to represent clients in civil court appearances as the case load continues to increase.

Hope House begins a capital campaign for the Independence campus. A new, larger therapy building will be constructed, and renovations will be made to the existing 4 buildings.

The Human Trafficking Program is created to empower victims of human trafficking to secure a safe and self-sufficient future by giving victims individualized case management plans and improving their overall social, emotional and occupational functioning.

2010

2011

Hope House completes the Building Hope Capital Campaign for the Independence campus. Renovations are made to the shelter building and daycare.

Construction gets underway on the new therapy building and the old therapy building is renovated to become a Partnership Building where clients can access doctors, dentists and salon services (all provided by the community) while remaining within the safety of the campus.

Renovations to Independence campus are completed and celebrated with a grand opening party and tour in April.

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