TheLiteraryMagazine of AshleyHall
Charleston, SouthCarolina
2024
EditorialTeam
CharlotteTorrez‘25:SeniorEditor-in-Chief
HelenKourtidis‘26:JuniorEditor-in-Chief
SavvyLewis‘26 EllaMcCall‘26 LucyDavid‘28
ElizabethBrisson‘27 CharlotteGuffey‘28
FacultyAdvisorsandEditors
ChrisHughes
ChristinaTrimarco
JanePelland
EmmadSoltan
FrontCoverArt
Cerberus,anAshleyHallpublicationsince1912, earnedanesteemedplaceamongtheschool’stime-honored traditions.Thenamederivesfromastuffeddog,who traveledaroundcampusandwasplacedattheAshleyHall gatestowelcomethestudentsbackeveryschoolyear. Adoredbymanystudents,itbecameamascotwho “guarded”theschool’sgates–henceitsclassicalname, Cerberus,afterthemythologicalguarddog.
The Cerberusteamreturnedtotheoriginalnamein 2023,afteraperiodofbeingknownasTheAcanthus, whichhonoredarchitecturalfeaturesinMcBeeHouseand playedonthetallplantstalksadornedwithpurpleand whiteblooms.
Thecurrent Cerberusteamisexcitedtobuildoff of ourlastfewpublicationsinthisFallVolumeof2024.Please joinusincongratulatingthe Cerberusstaff andmany contributingstudents,towhomweallmustsay:PQV.
Assubmissionsbeganrollinginatthebeginningof theyear,wewereonthelookoutforpotentialthemesthat couldtieeveryone’sworktogether.Itwasn’tlongbeforewe cameupwitha fittingone:memories.Memoriesoftengo hand-in-handwithartandwriting.Notonlydomemories inspirecreativework,butcreativeworkoftenprompts memories.Aswereadthroughsubmissions,wecouldn’t helpbutfeelconnectedtothecreatorsthankstotheshared memoriesandexperiencesthattheirphotography,art,and writingbroughttolight.
Wewerepleasedtorealizethatthisthemeconnects nicelytoourlastedition. Cerberus’sSpringVolumeof2024 harkenedonthethemeofjourneysinallsenses,those internal,likeself-reflection,andthoseexternal,like exploration.
Itwasalso fittingthatthissemesterwe’rehonoring oneofthegreatestAshleyHallmemories:TheChristmas Play.Thisyearisthecentennial,100yearssinceMrs.McBee firstdecidedtoreenactMedievalMysteryPlays.The ChristmasPlayhasbeenacentralpartoftheAshleyHall experience,andanyalumnaoneaskshascountless memoriesoftheperformance.
Thankyoutothe CerberusStaff forworkinghard onthisedition,contributorsforsendingintheiramazing work,Mrs.TrimarcoandMrs.Hughesforbeingwonderful facultysponsors,andreadersforjoiningusinthis explorationofmemories.
CHARLOTTE ‘25: SeniorEditor-in-Chief
CharlotteTorrezisaseniorandthisisherthirdyearat AshleyHall.Sheispassionateaboutherroleonthe Cerberusstaff asitallowshertoexpressherlovefor literatureandart.Shelooksforwardtowhatfutureeditions ofthe Cerberuswillhold!
HelenKourtidisisajuniorwhohasattendedAshleyHall sincethirdgrade.Shehaslongenjoyedthehumanitiesand arts,andshelovesdrawing,reading,writingpoetry,and performinginvocalandinstrumentalrecitalsaswellas theater.Shehaslovedworkingonthe Cerberusandcan’t waittoseewhatfutureissueshold!
CharlotteGuffeyisthe fictioneditorofthe Cerberus.Sheis afreshmanandhasbeenattendingAshleyHallforthree years.
SavannahLewisisajuniorwhohasbeenatAshleyHallfor fiveyears.Sheisonthe CerberusStaff asaPoetryEditor andshelovestoreadandwritepoetry.Sheenjoysworksby MayaAngelouandAmandaGorman.Shejoined Cerberus toengagemorewithherpeersacrossgrades,andsheis thrilledtobepartofateamthatshowcasesthediverse talentwithinherschool.Shelovesthecollaborativenature ofthepublicationandisexcitedfortheupcomingedition.
EllaMcCallisasixteenyearoldjuniorandhasbeen attendingAshleyHallforelevenyears.Sheisanavidwriter whoalsoenjoysdrawing,reading,performingpoetry, painting,andcrocheting.ShejoinedCerberusbecauseshe lovestheartsandanychancetohonorthewonderful artisticcommunitywithinAshleyHall.Sheenjoysseeing thecreativityofothersandtheCerberusisaperfectchance
tocelebratethephotography,writing,andotherartistic skillsofourcommunity.
ElizabethBrissonisasophomoreandamemberofAshley Hall’svarsitytennisteam.Sheispassionateaboutliterature andartandthoroughlyenjoysthediligentprocessof creatingthe Cerberusmagazine.
LucyDavidisafreshmanatAshleyHallwhohasbeenhere forfouryears.Shelovestoread,write,anddoartinherfree time.HerfavoriteclassisClassics.Thisishersecondyear onthe Cerberusstaff.
HelenPappa–Kourtidis
“Hear,ye!Hear,ye!Theperformanceisaboutto begin!”
WhentheTownCrierscalltheirlines,thechurch quietsdown.Backstage,actors,dancers,singers,and musicianshavealreadydonnedtheircostumesand gatheredinacircle.Together,theyreadlettersfrom alumnae,listeningtofondmemoriesofthejourneytheyare abouttoembarkon.Theyreviewtheirlinesonelasttime, readytobeapartofwhatisnowa100-year-oldtradition.
TheChristmasPlaybeganin1924, fifteenyearsafter AshleyHall’sfounding.Dr.MaryVardrineMcBee,Headof School,adaptedaplayshehadseenonatripanddirected the firstperformanceasbothaneducationalanda celebratoryevent..DerivedfromMedieval“MysteryPlays”, TheChristmasPlaywouldquicklybecomeahighly anticipatedAshleyHallevent.Accordingtoanarticle publishedin2004byFrancesG.WestbrookinAshleyHall’s formermagazine,ThePawPrint,therewasbothareligious andanacademicinterestintheestablishmentofthis tradition.NotonlydidAshleyHallboardinggirlsattend churchtogethereverySunday,buttheireducationwas steepedinmedievalandRenaissanceliterature.Justlikethe ShakespeareanplaysthatAshleyHallpresentsinfrontof
ourBearCave,Westbrookwrites,theChristmasPlaywas“A naturalextensionoftheclassroomcurriculum”.Forthese girls,performingthe“MysteryPlays”wasquiteanenticing concept.
AshleyHallhasenthusiasticallypreparedforthe 100thanniversary,with163studentsinvolved.Onanygiven day,onemightseeactorsrehearsingbytheBearCave, workingonmemorizing,enunciating,andprojecting. StoppingbytheRecitalHallandtheMutiHouse,onemay catchtheRedChoirandOrchestrarehearsingChristmas tunes.PerhapstheJestersaredancinginBurges Auditorium,ortheAngelsarepracticingtheirprocessionin Davies.Theschoolisalivelongafterthedayisdone,and effervescentenergyenvelopsthecampusaswecome togetheryetagaintoputonTheChristmasPlay.
LucyDavid
Switzerland: TheUpperschoolFrenchimmersiontrip.Itwasachance tobeinanothercountryandlearnaboutthecultureand thelanguage(asallimmersiontripsare).Immersiontrips areagreatexperiencebecausetheyallowUpperSchool studentstoreallygettoknowwhattheyarelearning.June 7-16,2024.
Nantahala:
TheFreshmanbondingtrip.Thefreshmanclasswentto NantahalainNorthCarolinafortwodaystogettoknow eachother.Manyfreshmenalreadyknoweachother,but thisisawaytomeetnewstudentsandhavefunasagroup. Thefreshmanwentzipliningandwhitewaterraftingand hadagoodtimeasagreatsendoff tothesummer.August 22-24,2024.
Theseniorbondingtrip.TheseniorclasswenttoDisney World,excitedtomakeupthetraditionally8thgradetrip theyhadmissedduetoCovid-19.Theseniorsspenttheir timegoingonridesand,ingeneral,bondingtogetherwhile theywelcomedintheirlastyearofhighschool.August 20-23,2024.
OurAshleyHallModelUNstudentswenttotheALTMUN conferenceinChattanooga,Tennessee.AtALTMUN, studentswereassignedtonineindividualcommitteesof about40students,eachrepresentingadifferentcountryas adelegate,todiscussdifferentglobalissues.TheMUN students’goalwastomakeresolutionstotheircommittee’s issuesthatsimulatedreallife.Aftertheircommittees, delegatesparticipatedintheGeneralAssemblywherethe committeesgatheredtogethertocomeupwithresolutions
toahypotheticalcrisisinsteadoftherealonestheywere dealingwiththedaybefore.November14-17,2024.
EmmadSoltan
TheChristmasPlayhastouchedtheheartsofmany,from AshleyHallalumnaetofamiliestofaculty.Oneexampleis Mr.EmmadSoltan,whojoinedourfacultyin2017andhas beenastaunchsupporteroftheschoolandtheChristmas Playeversince.HereisanemailthathesenttoMrs. Rowlandlastyear:
Subject:HugeThanksfor"2023-12-08TheChristmasPlay"
Leslie:Hugethankyoufordirectinganotherwonderful ChristmasPlay(Number99).Youandtheteamshaveput tremendouseffortandplanningtomakethishappen.I enjoyeditverymuch.IwatchedsomevideosonmyiPhone severaltimeswithmywifeMaysounonourbigTVinthe LivingRoom.Were-livedthesegoldenmomentsagainand again,especiallythegrand finale"SilentNight".Themusic lingeredinourhouseallweekend.
HugethankyouLeslie.Ican'twaitforthenextcentennial ChristmasPlay(Number100).
HelenKourtidis
Thepebblescrunchedunderourfeet, wewalkedinsingle file, andontheplaygroundwherewe’dmeet weplayedgamesforawhile.
Wedugintothesandydirt, sofullofunknownrocks. Wesulliedourwell-ironedshirts andruinedourbestsocks.
Welinedourgemsinperfectrows anddisplayedallourwares. Weputapriceonrandomstones andruledourshopsinpairs.
Theprettyoneswerequiteaprize, andshellsweresuchacatch, butofall finds,Iwillsurmise: thesharkteethwentunmatched!
Backthen,weplayedatsalesmanship, whenwehadnotacare.
Gamesheldusinthetightestgrip, whenwewerelessaware.
Thepebblescrunchedunderourfeet,
Perhaps,inouryouthfulconceit wesomehowtookthemall.
TheMcBeeSisters,the2025Seniors,the FiveSisters,andtheWitteSixSisters EmmadSoltan
The2025seniorshavesomethingveryspecialatthenext graduation;Fivesistersintripletsandtwins.Therearethe Farrtripletsisters(Elliott,Kate,andSarah)plusthe Abracos-O'Neeltwinsisters(Isabella,Nina). ThereweresixothersistersthatownedtheMcBeeHouse beforeMaryVardrineMcBeeboughtitin1909.Thesix WittesisterswereCarlotta,Fay,Belle,Laura,Aliceand Beatrice.AftertheirdadCharlesdied,theyofferedthe familyhouseforsale.MaryMcBeemadealowofferof $25,000tobargain.Whenthesixsistersknewthather intentionwastoestablishanall-girlschool,theyapproved thelowoffer.Marywassurprisedandhappy. MaryVardrineMcBee(OurAshleyHallfounder)hadher eldersisterEstelleMcBeehelpinghertoestablishandgrow ourschoolrightfromthebeginningin1909.Marywas recruitingteachers,advertisingforstudents,orderingtext booksandplanningthecurriculum.Estellehelpedinmany rolesasthe“unofficial”mother,advisor,dietician,nurse, cook,teacher,counselandhelper.Estelleworemanyhats. Bothsistershadlimitlessenergy,warmthandimagination. Thetwosistershelpedandcaredforeachother.Theyloved theirafternoontea.Afterretirement,theylivedtogetherin ahousewhereDaviesAuditoriumnowstands.Iimagine theirsoulshangingoveralltheassembliesatDaviesfeeling happyandproudaboutAshleyHall.Theyareburiednext tooneanotherattheMagnoliaCemetery.
PicturesarefromAshleyHall2003CampusHistoryBook byIleanaStrauch
Anonymous
Stuckinawhitespace
Ihavenothingbutfreetime
Mybrotherhoodtakenfromme
Americadoesproveguiltthroughblindjustice
ConversationswithGodbecausewehavenoonetotalktoo
Thepersistenceofmemory,howslowtimeispassing
I’mstuckonablankcanvas
Onlyafewofusweregivena microphone
TheyknowTheBridgeinThe Rain
Theyknowwhatever theyhavedonenowcannotbe changed.
Weareallstuck
onablankcanvas,we havenothingbuttime.
PennyRose
Jameslivedinmyhomebeforeme,hewasnotedtobea creativeartist.Staringattherealisticportraitsliningthe stairwellwall,atwitchofaneyeonthewallcatchesmy attention.
Mylifewasattheauctionblock
Gettingsoldtothesystemofblindjustice
Myonce-fullpaintingisnowablankcanvas. Timeisnottold, ThePersistenceofMemory
Myfreetime,mybrotherhood,myfamilyportrait Itisnowawhitespace
Ifmypencilcouldtalkitwouldprobablyyellatme.
It’dscreamaboutallthetimesIleftitbehindinclass, Letitfalltothebottomofmybookbag, Letmycathideitsomewhereinhercat-cave.
It’dcryaboutthehoursofuseitreceives, The fingergripstainedwithgraphiteandink, Theeraser flattenedtosomethingunusableand undetectable. ItwouldprobablyremindmeofthetimeIdroppeditina fountain, Orleftitinmycarforamonthinthesummer, Orchuckeditdowna flightofstairs.
ItwouldcriticizemeforthetimesIimpatiently fiddled withthehandleuntilitsnappedoff, Andbrokewaytoomuchleadinanattempttorefillit, Andlosttherefilleralltogetherrenderingitforgottenfor months.
Idon’tthinkmypencillikesmeverymuch. ButmaybeI’mwrong.
Maybeitunderstandsthatthepersonholdingitisforgetful andimpatient.
Maybeitunderstandseverythingit’sbeenthrough. Maybeitunderstandsthatthisisthecontobeingthe authorofcreation.
MypencilhasdrawnmorethanIcanthankitfor, WrittenmorewordsthanIcancount, Understoodmebetterthananythingelse.
AsmuchasI’veputmypencilthrough,italwayscomes backtome, Italways findsitshomeinmyneongreenpencilcase, ItalwaysworkswhenIneedit.
Maybemypencilwouldn’tyellatme.
Anonymous
TheWallflowersitsinthedust
Ofthosewhowerehandedthemicrophone
Onlygiventheblankcanvasandnotthebrush
Havingconversationswithgodandwonderingwhen
TheBlindJusticewillexistinAmerica.
TheEntombmentofthosewhowerevictimsoftheunjust
StayinthePersistenceofMemorymakingmequestionif I’malmostoutoftime.
Thewhitespaceofhopeclosedinonmeasthe final decisionwasbeingmade,
Theopenwindowcloses, Thehypemanbacksaway, Thefamilyportraithasbeenripped, BrotherhooddisappearsasIleavethecourtroom intomynewlifethatisn'tsupposedtobemine.
LuLuWoodlee
Chapter1
October11,20247:00AM-7:30AM
JustsoeveryoneknowstheonlyreasonwhyI’m startingthisjournalisbecauseIhavetotalkaboutit.It's beensohardtonottalkaboutitIjustcan’tsayanything anywaybecauseifIdosomeonewillgethurt.
I'veneverlikedschool,Ijustalwayswantedtobe withmyfriends.I’mnotreallygoodatanysubjectandI don;tthinkI;mgoingtohaveacareerinanythinglikethis butIgetgoodgradesinallofthesubjects(IdkhowbutI do)soIguessI’mok.SometimesIcangetreallyconfused andIfeellikeeveryonearoundmeisn'tasmuchasIam struggling,eventhougheveryoneis.SothisiswhyIstarted thisnotebook.Sohi,mynameisVioletAnderssonandI’m 13yearsold.Ifyouhaven'tguessedalready,mymomand dadareSwedishandofcourseIhavethemostSwedishlast name.Ialsoinheritedthestereotypicalblondehairand tallness.Sincemylastdoctor'sappointment(lastweek)I’m 5ft6inandstillgrowingsowoohoo.Mydadis6ft.3in.and mymomis5ft.10in.soI’mgoingtobearound6ftorso.
I’mNOTexcited.UGH!!!!!Anyhoo,Ihaveschooltodaybut it'safridaysoyayIguessandit'sahalfday(Teacherwork dayIthink)So,somefactsaboutmeare1.Ihave depression,2.IliveinSouthCarolinaCharlestonbutgrew upinL.A.,3.IjustgotdiagnosedwithADHDliketheytold meonmonday.IcanhearmydadyellingatmysisterBetty (14)tohurryashedoeseveryday.Mybrother(Chase,10) isnothappybecauseheisalwaysgrumpyinthemorning.I needtogetreadyforschool!Onesecond!
10:00 AM-12:00 AM
IgotdistractedandIhadtorushoutofthehouse andsonowI’matschool.It'sourD.I.S(Freeperiod basically)andIjustrememberedIdidn'tsaythatIdon'tgo toanormalschool,Igotoanallgirlsschool!Sonoboys justdramaandmeangirls.Anyway,mytwobestfriends (CharlotteandEmma)arewithmeandthey'renexttome whisperingaboutourcrazyP.E.teacher.(Mr.T)I’veknown CharlottealmostallofmylifeandEmmacamelastyear butweinstantlyclicked.TobehonestIwoulddiewithout them.AndI’mnotkiddingI’mreallyREALLYclumsyand theysavemefromcrackingmyheadopen.Ourclassesare 65minuteslongandIjusthadscienceanditwasn'tfun. Let'sjustsaythat.AllIreallywantistogobacktomy normalselfthatdidn'tgothroughwhatIwentthrougha couplemonthsago.AllanyoneknowsisthatIwent throughareallybaddepressionperiodacouplemonthsago anditwassobadIdidn'twanttogetupinthemorning. Theyalsodon'tknowwhyIhadmeltdownsalloflastyear
becauseofthatnight.Ijustwishsomeoneunderstands what'sgoingoninmyhead.
Charlotteturnedtomeandsaid“Whatdoyouthink Violet?”“Thinkofwhat?”Isay.“IfEmmashouldtryoutfor thestatetheateraddition!”“Oh!Yaofcourseyoushould!”I say.Emmalooksnervousandshakesherhead“Idontthink I’mthatgoodofanactortoauditionthough.”“Ofcourse youare!”Iyell.
SomegirlslookatmeinconfusionandIturnaway embarrassed.Emmasmilesbutthenthebellringsandwe havetogotoournextclass.EmmaandCharlottehave EnglishandIhaveHistorysoIsaybyeandheadinthe otherdirection.SometimesIfeellikeI’mdriftingaway fromthembecausethey'reinallofthesameclassesandI onlyhave2classeswithbothofthem.Mytherapistsays thatit'snottrueandI’mjustmakingitupinmyheadbutI don'tknowitcertainlyfeelslikeit.IheadintoHistoryandI rememberthatHeatherisinmyclassthemostpopularand meanestgirlintheschool.Shepicksonmewhenevershe hasthechanceandwhenIwalkinsheloudlysays
“Wow,Ididn'tknowyoucouldgetuglier!”Everyone laughsbutIjustbowmyheadandheadtothebackofthe classtogetawayfromawfulHeather.
EmmaandCharlottealwaysstandupformewhen Heatersayssomethingbutrightnowit'sjustmeandI’m tooscaredtosaysomething.MeandHeatherhaveknown eachothersincewewere9yearsoldwhenI firstmoved here.Weusedtobefriends,justme,heater,andCharlotte butonedayshedecidedthatshewastoocoolforusandwe wereloserssosheditchedusforthefamousdumband
dumbertwins(TillyandAvery)thatfollowedheraround likedogswaitingforfood.Iknowit'snotnicetocallthem dumbanddumberbutit'shardnottobecausejust yesterdayIheardTillyaskedAveryhowtospellchairand Aveyrsaidit'sspelledC-A-R-I-E.Idon'tevenknowhow someonespellschairwrong.Heatheronlykeepsthem aroundbecausetheydowhatevertheywanthertodoand theybuyherexpensivegifts.Theirdadownsthisfancytech companysotheyalwayshavethelatestphonesandother expensivethings.Mr.Williams(ourSocialstudiesteacher) walksinandtheentireroomgoesquietbecauseeveryone knowsthathewillgiveyouhoursandhoursofhomework ifyoudoonewrongthing.Mr.Williamturnstotheboard andstartstalkingaboutthemycenaeansbutIzoneoutand thinkaboutL.A.IthinkaboutL.A.alotbecauseImissit,it wassoniceandImissthemountainsandthebeachesand myfriends.I'velivedhereforfouryearsandIstillmissL.A somuch.BeforeIknowitclassisoverandIleavebut suddenlyInoticeHeaterwalkingtowardsmeandIquicken mypacebutshecatchesupandgrabsme.Itrytopullfree butsheholdstighterandleansinandwhispersrightinto myear
“Iknowwhatyoudid.Weneedtotalk.”Igopale andlookatherfaceandshe'slookingcloselyatmyface.I stepbackandsay“wha..wha…whatdoyouyoumeanI knowwhatyoudid?!Ididn'tdoanything!”Shelooksmeup andsays“Yaright.Mondaywearetalkingandyou'retelling meeverything.”Sheturnsandstridesaway.
Chapter 2
3:30 PM
Therestofthedaywentbyinablurofworryand terror.CharlotteandEmmanoticedmyconcernandwhen theyaskedIjuststaredblanklyaheadandafterawhilethey stopped.NowI’msittingathomeinmybedwondering howawful,terrible,cruelHeatherfoundoutaboutthe terriblethingthatIdid.X(thepersonthatmademedoit) mademeswearnottotellanyoneandtheywouldneversay anythingandwedidagoodjobcleaningitupbutIdon't know.IwillnevernevernevertellanyonewhatIdidandI hopeIneverwillhavetobecauseifIdomyentireworld willfallapart.Ican'tevenwriteitdownhereifsomeone readsthis.
9:00 PM
Dinnerwasweirdbecausemyparentsandmysiblings knewsomethingwaswrongbuteveryoneleftitalone.I havetostopthinkingaboutitorpeoplewillcontinue questioningme.I'vebeensearchinguponmyphonetotry tocalmdownandtotryandclearmymindbutsofarit'sall fakecrapthatdesperatepeoplearetryingtomakemoney with.I’mfreakingoutandIhavenooneandImeannoone IcantalktoandIhateit.IwouldlovetotalktoCharlotte orEmmaaboutitbutifIwanttostayoutofjailandkeep themsafeobviouslyIcan't.I’mgoingtogotosleepand workitoutinthemorning.
October 12,20247:00 AM -8:00 AM
Islepthorribly,having flashbacksfromthatnight.I thoughtIwasoutofthenightterrors(AsIliketocall them)andIhaven'thadtheminatleastacouplemonths butofcourseHeather figureditoutandmademereliveit allagain.I’msohappyit'sSaturdayandIdon'thaveschool becauseifIhadtofaceHeatherIdon'tknowwhatIwould do.CharlotteandEmmawanttogodowntownandshop butIdon'tthinkIcan.Ihavetoactnormalthoand normallyIwouldjumpatthechancetoshopsoI’mgoing togoandsaythatIhavetoleaveearlybecauseIdon'tfeel good.Igetupandputonmycutebrandymelvilleshorts andmyfavoritebluetanktopandheaddownstairswhere mybrotherisplayingonhisipadandmyparentsare gettingcoffeeandmakingbreakfast.
“Hibaby,how'dyousleep?”mymomasks.“Not greatIhadabadnightmare”Whichisn'talietechnicallyI havetoliealotrecentlysciencethatnight.“OhI’msorry honey.Hopefullyyou'llsleepbettertomorrow!”mymom replies.Ismileandgrabsomecereal.Withoutlookingather Isay“Emma'smomispickingmeupinlike30minutesto gotoKingstreet.CanIhavesomemoney?”“That'sfun.Yes, here's50dollars.”Shegrabsherwalletandhandsmetwo 20dollarbillsandthree10dollarbillsandturnsbacktoher coffee.
Ieatmybreakfastandtrynottothinkaboutthatnight.My momglancesmywayandtriestosuddenlywalkovertome andsitdownbutshestaresatmetheentiretimesoIknow whatshe'sdoing.
“Honey,what'swrong?Areyouok?Isthere somethingwrongatschool?IsthatawfulgirlHeather doingsomething?”Shequestions.Isighandturntoward her“I’m finemom.I’mjuststressedwithallofmywork!” Shegivesmeaskepticallookandsays“Ok,ifyousayso.”
AcoupleminuteslaterIhearEmma'sdadscarpull upanddohisloudandlonghonkhealwaysdoes.Igrabmy phoneandyellgoodbyetomyparentsandmymomyells back
“Byehoney!TellHankIsaidthankyoufordriving!” IyellokandleaveandwhenIlookupEmmaishanging outthewindowwithCharlotterightbesideheryellingand wavingatmetohurryup.Iputonmybestfakesmileand waveatthem.
3:00-3:30 PM
Itwasfundowntown.Igotsomecuteshirtsandnoone talkedaboutmymoodyesterdaybutwhenwewereeating lunchCharlottestartedaskingaboutitsaying
“Violet,whathappenedyesterdaythatmadeyouso upset?It'showyouactedacouplemonthsagobutI thoughtyouwerebetternow?”
TheybothhaveconcernedfacesandIlookoutthe windowsaying
“Idon'tknow.HeathergottomeIguess.”They bothlookedateachotherinshockandEmmasaid
“Youcouldhavetoldusthat!We'realwaysherefor you!”Iputonmyfakesmileandsay“IknowIdon'tknow whatIwasthinking!”TheysmiledandCharlottesaid “Whatdidshesaytoyou?”“Shejustsaidsomethingabout
howuglyIambutitshouldn'thaveshookmesomuch.”I lied.
Theybothplacedtheirhandsonmineandthey reassuredmethatit'snottrueandIsmiledandchangedthe subject.IwishIcouldtellthemthetruthabouteverything andwhyIwentthroughmydepressionperiodacouple monthsago.
October 13,20243:00 PM - Endofday
Ididabsolutelynothingtoday.Ijustsatinbedtryingto forgetaboutit.EmmaandCharlottearetextingaboutsome randomschoolthingbutI’mnotresponding.Ijustcan't dealwithlyingtothemandtryingtoacthappyand fine. WheneverIseeXIhavetorunawaybeforeIcry.Ihate thattheyactsonormalandhowthey'vetrappedmeinto nottellinganyone.Idon'tseethemalotbutwhenIdoI justcan'thandleit.ThewaythatXstaredatmeandgot intomyheadanddraggedmeawayfromallofit.Iquickly godownstairsandseemydadwatchingTVatthekitchen counterandIthinkabouthimit'sanormalSundaybutfor meitcan'tbeanydifferent.HemumblesahelloandIwalk pasthimtogotothelivingroomtowatchTV.Fortherest ofthedayIdreadforMondayandwhatHeathersgoingto saytome.
October 14,20247:00 AM
I’mpanicking!Ican'tgotoschool!Whatwill Heathersay?Willshegotothepolice?WillXshowup?I headdownstairsplanningontellingmyparentsthatIfeel badwhenIseethematthekitchentablewhispering.They
hearmewalkingdownthestairsandstopandturntosmile atme
“Areyoureadyforschool?”mydadasks.“Actually”I say“Idon'tfeelgoodandIthinkIneedtostayhome.”My momcomesandfeelsmyforeheadandlooksatme skepticallyandsays
“you'renothotandyou’reyournormalskintone….” shetrailsoff.Ipanicandstarttosayanothersicknessbut beforeIcansayanythingshesays“whydon'tyoutryand gotoschoolandifyoustillfeelbadyoucancallme.”I frownbutIknowshe'llneverletmestayandsoIturn aroundandheadbackupstairstochange.
TheentiretimeIchangeandgetreadyallIcan thinkaboutisXandeverythingthathappened.Thissucks! Ican’tgotoschool!Ican’tfaceHeatherandpossiblyX!I quicklyheaddownstairswheremybrotherissittingand eatingbreakfastsonormallylikemylifeisn'tabouttofall apart.(Grantedhedoesn'tknowaboutitbutUGH)My dadtellsmetohurryandweheadoutthedoor.
7:50-11:30 AM
WhenIgottoschoolIheadedstraighttomyclass andkeptmyheaddown.Ididn'tseeHeather(Thankgod!) andIavoidedCharlotteandEmma.My firstclasswas SocialStudiesthenScience.Heather,Charlotte,andEmma allhaveSciencethenSocialStudies,andsincewedon't havethesameclasses.I’mnotgoingtoseethemforawhile. IhatetoavoidthembutIhavenochoiceorI’llaccidentally letsomethingsliportheywillaskmetoomanyquestions.I hatethateverythingandeveryoneisactingsonormal,but
I’mfallingapart!Anyway,Ihavea10minutebreakright nowandI’mhidinginthebathroom,butIhaveSpanish nextwithHeatherANDCharlotteANDEmma.Idon’t knowwhatI’mgoingtodobecausetheywillaskquestions andHeathermighthavetoldthemormaybeshe'swaiting formetobetheretotelleveryone!I’msonervousandI thinkaboutcallingmymombutIknowIhavetofaceitat somepointsoIleavethebathroomandheadtoclass.
October 14,202412:00 AM -1:00 PM
SoIwenttoSpanishandeveryonewasalreadythere soIsatdownandEmmaandCharlottestartedaskingme questionssaying
“Wherehaveyoubeenallmorning?Whyaren'tyou replyingtoaretexts?Areyouok?”Ilookatthemandsay “SorryIwasalittlelatesoIhadtorushtoclassandduring breakIhadtogotoMs.Henricksclasstoaskabout something.”
(Ms.HenricksisaScienceteacher)Theylook confusedandworried(Bewilderedmaybe?) andeven thoughIdidn'tanswerthetextquestiontheydroppedit. Mrs.OlsenstartedspeakingrapidlyinSpanishand everyoneshutuptotryand figureoutwhatshewassaying, butIlookedoverandguesswhat!IsawHeatherstaring rightatmelikeshewastryingto figuremeout.Wemade eyecontactandIquicklylookedaway.Duringclass Heatherdidn'tsayathingevenwhenshegotcalledon class.Shejustsattherestaringintospaceandlookingatme. Itwasweird.UsuallyshetalksALLTHETIME!Iwas leavingtheclassroomwithCharlotteandEmmawhenthey
turnedtheotherwaytogotoLatinleavingmebymyself.I waswalkingtomynextclasstheoppositewaywhen someonegrabbedmyarmandpulledmeintoanempty classroom.Iturnedaroundandwasn'tsurprisedtosee Heatherglaringatme.
Istartedtosay“Whatareyoudoing??”Whenshe interruptedmesaying“Shutup!Whatareyouupto?Tell meeverything!”Ilieandsay“Ididn’tdoanything!Ihave noideawhatyou'retalkingabout!”Sheglaresatmeand yells“IknowaboutwhathappenedlastSummer!Stop lying!”ThemoreshetalkstheangrierIgetuntilIyell.“I CAN’TTELLYOU!!”
Iholdmyhandovermymouth,eyeswide.Heather staresinshockatmeandquietlysays
“Whynot?”Ilookatthedoorandaroundtheempty classroom.“Ican'tdoit!IfIdo,everyoneIlovewillbe hurt!”Istarttocry.
Heatherlooksconfusedandopensandclosesher mouthmultipletimes.ImakemyselfstopcryingwhenI whisper,“Whatdoyouknow?”Heatherbreathesindeeply andsays“Iknowthatyou hadsomethingtodowiththemurderlastsummerandI thinkmydadisinittoo.
WhenIwasseven,Ilikedtoplayoutside,watchthe newmovieInsideOut,andhadnotacareintheworld.But oneeveningin2015,Ibecamefamiliarwithracismandhate crimes.Awhitemanwalkedintoachurchandkillednine blackpeopleinmyhometownofCharleston,SC.The perpetratorwasonlyeighteenyearsoldwhenhekilled thosepeople—threeyearsolderthanIamnow.Thishate crimeconfusedmyinfantilebrainandaffectedmein unprecedentedways.
MymomcalledmeintoherroomonWednesday, June17th.Tearsstreameddownherface.Itriedtocomfort her,completelyunawareofherprofoundsadness.She describedtometheeventsoftheevening.Inmynaivete,I didnotcomprehendhowsomebodycouldkillpeoplelike that.Itmademefeelconfusedandsad.Iwenttomy kitchentable,andIdrew.
Idrewhigh-archeddoorwaysthatIimaginedthe shooterwalkingunder,pistolinhand,hateineyes.Idrew thecrossesthatIknewdidn’tmeananythinginhisheart.I drewthebrightwhitechurchthatnowlookedalittle darker,alittlelessbrilliant.Then,Idrewnineangels.Six womenandthreemen, floatingabovethechurch.ThenI sat,andIthoughttomyselfabouteverything.
Itriedtounderstandracismandthehistoryofit,the immoralityofit.Whatcouldracismmean?Whydidit meansomethingtosomepeople?Aftermuchreflection,I
cametomyseven-year-oldconclusionthatracism boiled downtopeopledislikingotherssolelybecauseoftheir differentappearance—anotionthat struckmeasrather absurdandsilly.Iwasseven;Ididnotexperienceit.Racism didnotmeananythingtome.Yet,Icouldnotignorethatit heldsignificantmeaningforsomepeople.NowIknowhis actionswereguidedbyatwistedbeliefsystem,evidentin hiswritings,hiswebsite,andhisunwaveringalliancewith the flagcontainingaboldblueXwithstrikingwhitestars ona fieryredbackdrop.
IdidnotlearnabouttheConfederate flaguntil fourthgradewhenwelearnedaboutthesegregatedSouth andtheCivilWar.Ilearnedaboutslaverybrieflyin fifth gradewithmyteacherandIamstilllearningaboutitin tenthgrade.Iamattemptingtograsptheimperialistidea andthetriangulartraderoute.ButsomehowIrealizeI discoveredtherealityofracismandhatecrimesin1st grade,inmyowncity.Allbecauseourworldbroke.Insmall pieces.Shattered,liketheheartsofthefamiliesoflives constantlylosttohate.
Iwatchedthenewsforthe firsttimeonJune17th, 2015.Theseriousvoiceofthenewsanchor.Theimagesof death flashingonthescreen.Thedetailsofthemissing shooterontherunfromhisinevitablefate.Now,Iwatch thenews.Justtoseewhatisgoingoninourlittlebroken world.Atseven,Iconsideredhaterare.Turnsoutthatmy seven-year-oldselfgotitwrong.Really,reallywrong.11,288 thenumberofhatecrimesin2022—athousandmorethan theyearbefore.Itfeelslikeeveryweeksomethinghas occurredataschool,asupermarket,orachurch.WithAR
15sandAK47sintheirhands,andalookofmaliceintheir eyes,theycompletedjusttogetalifesentence.
SometimeswhenIwalkpastmydeskandseethe olddrawingwiththecurvedlinesofthechurch'sedgeand theninepeopleinthesky,Ithinkabouttheshooter.Ithink abouthowthevictim'sfamiliesforgavehim.Ithinkabout racismandhowit'sjustanidea.Ithinkabouthatecrimes andhowtheyseemnever-ending.ButIalsothinkaboutthe seven-year-oldstillinsideme.Ithinkbacktothedayswhen Iwouldsitatthekitchentable,sketchingmyattemptsto understandtheworld.Theyreflectedmychildlikemind tryingtoprocesstheincomprehensible.Eventoday,I continuetodraw,notwithcrayonsandpaper,butwith marksofgrown-upunderstanding.Theseven-year-old withinmehasevolved,butIamstillremindedofthe enduringimpactthatasingle,tragiceventhadonmy perceptionoftheworld.Mydrawingscontinuetoserveasa windowintomyheartandmydesireforanunbrokenlittle world.Idonotimagineevilwalkingintothechurch anymore.Iimaginechange finallywalkingintotheworld.
HelenKourtidis
Iamthedaughterofascientist, soIhatealchemyineverysense.
Idonotbelievethatyoucantakesomethingugly soot,charcoal,piecesofstone, andtwistitintogold.
Idonotbelievethatyoucanfakesomethinglovely smiles,laughs,afriendlytone, andwarmthecold.
Asthedaughterofascientist,Ihatealchemy andyetI’mamaster,inreality.
Itaketheashinmyheartandturnitintoglitteringdust. Ismileandlaughandfeignundyingtrust. WhoeverItalkto,Ialwaysadjust.
IsupportandIlovewithouthesitation. Iholdfriendlyandinterestingconversation. Iknownokindoflimitation.
Ialterandchangethecharcoalwithpride, butitalways findsitswayinside.
CampbellK.Lennon
Sometimes,Iseeyou
Intheocean thewaveslapping onthesand
Inthesky
Thecloudsdrifting acrosstheglazedpainting
Inthehills eachrolling,green mound likevelvet
Inthemountains Everysharptip scrapingthesky Iclimbtheladder
Intothesky andsmellthecrisp, freshair witheveryrung, Iamcloser toyou
Icanfeel thesky falling aroundme givingway
toyou
andthereyouare waitingforme, waitingfortheday untilIcanruntoyou
hearyoucallmyname
Imissyourvoice
ButIwon'tforgetit
Eachdaypassing Isanotherstep anotherrung
I'mComing
Somesay, "Thosewhoaren'tliving, arejustdyingslowly" slowerthanothers,yes
Butwhyslowerthanyou? Sometimes,Ilay
Inbed andquestion
Thetsunamioffeelings headingstraightforme soyousay, "Quick, Gettohigherground"
*dedicatedtoWesleyAllenDouglasCampbellII
There’snosuchthingasfreedom, Ifthisworldreliesonprice, Thepriceoffreedomistricky, Freedomshouldbeworthnothing, butapparently, it’sworthalloursorrow,deaths, andmoney.
Maybeyoujustneedtohavedocumentation, Ofeverypersonyouhaveencounteredinyourlifeon paper,
Relivingmomentsyoushouldhavebutdon’t, Memoryforgetsyou, justasyoudoit.
There’snosuchthingasfreedom, Evenifit’sintheDeclarationofIndependence, Becausewritingisnothingifitdoesn’ttakeaction, Thereareconsequences,aren’tthere? Forfreedom?
There’snosuchthingasthewordfreedom, Whenfreedommeansbeingarefugee, Freedommeansbeingonecolor, notall,
Freedommeanshavingtobeborninonespecificplace, Becauseifnot,freedomwillnevercome, Thoughitdoesn’tmatternow, Sincefreedomisawordweonlyspeak whenhopehasleftourtongue.
CampbellK.Lennon
Canyouhearit?
Theblueissinging
Softly
Singingwiththesun
Harmony
Theblack
Theinky
Black
Spreading
Staining
Theblue
Adarksong
Butstill
Aharmony
Thegray
Ashadow
Cast
Enveloping
Themelody
Amuffledsound
Then,
Thunder.
Boom!
Doyouheartherainbow?
Thesun
Peeking
Throughthegray
Thesong
Nolongermuffled
Harmoniesintertwine
Aplaceofpeace
Apaintedperfection
Canyouhearit?
Thesky
Issinging
Withtheland
Trees
Reachup
Tosingwiththeblue
Blooming,growing
Under Thesky
ParkerGragg it’squiet atnight intheempty darkness it’sinvitingin away asenseof silence allthethoughts allthefeelings gone inaway thatisalmost healing buteveninthe dark thestars stillshine giving aglow thatwillnever die
SavvyLewis
It’sfunnyhowwethinkthere’saliens
Whenweareanalienrace
Becausewearenewtotheterms, Justiceandpeace.
Somehaveagenerationalfearofthenew, Thefearthatthisworldischangingfrom100yearsago, Thatthisworldshouldbeonecolorandalwaysbepolitical, Thatthisworldshouldbedividedandunethical.
Theworldhasn’tlookedonpeacebecausemoneycan’tbuy it,
Theworldhasn’tlookedatkindnessbecausenoonehas enoughtimetoseeit,
It’sfunnyhowwecherishnature,somethingsoprettyand calm, Whenhumannatureisnaturetoo.
Weneedwatertogrow, Andsunlighttofeelwarm, Thecoldmakesustorn.
It'sfunnyhowaftermorethan3,000yearsonaplanetwe callEarth,
Wearestillacceptingslursandhatred, Ahatredthatstartedinoneman’sbeliefaboutrace
Andwesaywelearnfrommistakesbutwarsarestill evident,
Wesaymoneyisn’ttheanswerbutlooktoourgovernment, Andmaybewecouldactuallychangeifwetried.
Triedtolistentoourthoughtsbeforevoicingthem,
Becausepoliceonlycomewhenbodiesarebroken, Notwhenmindsarescreamingforjusticeandactual impact.
Iwishtoseeaworldwherealiensarehereandnohatred, Butthenthehumanracewouldbegoneandasmalllittle planetwillbeuninhabited.
SkyMalloy
Oh,Sushi. EverytimeweorderyouIsmellyoursavoryaroma.
Yourintricatericereallydeservesadiploma.
FromcrispyShrimpTempuratoCucumberroll, Yourfreshtastealwaysdeeplysoothesmysoul.
Yourhomemadestylealwaysmakesmehaveabigsmile.
OriginatedinJapan
That'swhyeveryoneisahugefan.
Thecrispyseaweedfromthedeepdarksea.
MakesmewanttoscreamoutOishi!
Whichfunfactmeans‘yummy’inJapanese!
But,intheendthere'snothingIwantmorethanafresh piecefromafarawaysea.
Oh,Sushi.
PhotobyNajaBertoltJensenonUnsplash
Musingson “DisentanglingaGrayWhale”
MollyMettler
“DisentanglingaGrayWhale”byMayaKhosla
Theyrollonandon-oneafteranother,dayinanddayout, yearoveryear,
“Thelistofanimalsthatwillbeextinctby2050includes iconiccreatures,suchaslions,elephants,andpandas” (Miller).
“By2050,therecouldbemoreplasticintheoceanthan fish. (EllenMacarthurFoundation)”
“Theworldwillburnthroughitsremaining“carbonbudget” by2030”(Kaplin).
Thud.Thud.Thud.Thesebulletedpointsareamere samplingofwarningsthatIhavecomeacrossoverthelast threeyears.Eachofthesefactscaptureourworld’srapid environmentaldeclineandgrimfuture.Appearingas simplebulletpoints—yetcarryingtheforceofundeniable truths—collectivelythesestatementsreflectacrisismuch largerthanthediscretepredictioncontainedineach warning.Despitemyawarenessofthemagnitudeofthe crisisontheonehand,myimmediateconcernforthese issuesstilldriftsinandout,muchlikethedisjointed structureofthisintroductionitself—hauntedbythesefacts onemoment,pushingthemasidethenext.Mysporadic indifferencetothesefactsisbecausetheawarenessofour environmentalcrisisexistsprimarilyinmybrainasbullet pointsor“thuds”thatparalyzemeratherthanmobilizeme. Indeed,Iamwaitingforasparktoignitemysoultoaction. MayaKhosla’spoemDisentanglingaGrayWhaleignites that firethroughherartisticrepresentationofthestateof theworldandhonestdescriptionofanindividual’smoral strugglewithsavingournaturalworldfromthedark consequencesofhumaninterference.
Inthe firststanza,Khosladropsusintothe moment:weareontheoutsidelookinginatagraywhale strugglingto fightyetanotheranthropogenicforce–an intricate fishingnet,asymbolofhumanity’scarelessand
brutalinterferencewiththenaturalworld.Sheemploys imagerytoassistherinrecreatingthesceneanduses descriptivelanguageandalliterationtospeaktothe moment’sheavy,inescapableweight: Waterminusairbecomeswound. Herblowhole,burstsofbreathing, trappedinanendlesscurtainofnetting andweightsdesignedtoconfinetuna. Shetriestosurface.Thebodygreater thantwodouble-deckerbusesinlength andgirth.Weclosein,hesitant, Khosladoesnotbluntlystatetheconditionofthewhale; instead,shecommunicatesthroughimages,suchasthe blowholeburstingofbreathing,engagingourmindsand immersingusinthescene.Thisliterarychoicemirrorsthe wayweexperiencereallife–rarelyisourbrain automatically filledinonwhatishappening.Justlikeinthe moment,ourbrainshavetopiecetogetherinformation, observe,andexaminetofullycomprehendasituation. Indeed,Khoslaisintentionalasshenotonlyrespectsour intelligenceandkinestheticawarenessbynotservingusthe situationona“silverplatter”butalsocreatesadeeper,more realisticconnectionbetweenthereaderandthesituationat hand.Khoslacontinueson,makingsurewedonotlose sightofthemagnitudeofthenowpowerlessbeingweare
“looking”upon.Sheconcludesthestanzabydescribingthe people’sactionforthe firsttime,endingwiththeword hesitantjustbeforethelinebreakasifmimickingthevery hesitationthewordembodies.
Inthesecondstanza,Khoslaexposesthereaderto theonlookers’moraldilemmaforthe firsttime.Wecan almosthearherthoughts:Isfreeingthewhaleworththe riskofapotential“nervoustailslapintooblivion”?ShouldI stayinthecomfortoftheboat,doingwhatiseasy?Or,doI getoutthereandhelp,rightingthewrongsofmyfellow citizens?
Weseethespeakerdebating,graspingatanything thatcouldpossiblyjustifycowardlyinaction: Wonderingiffreeingherisworththerisk ofanervoustailslapintooblivion.Afterall, Shemaybetoofarbehindtosingherway Backtotherestofherpod.
Songbouncingfromunderwatercanyon tocanyonmappedbysoundandecho. Shemaynotendowuswithanyanswers totheseaofunknowns.Shemaybeone ofthestraysdeafenedintoidiocy
Thepoetstruggleswithconflictingemotions, allowingselfishundertonestoseepintotheselinesasshe
evaluatestheworthofthewhale'slife–debatingif attemptingtosavethewhalemeritseventhesmallestthreat toherownease.Shestillviewsthewhaleinatransactional way,valuingthewayitcanfurtherherowninterestsabove thecreature’slifewhensheacknowledgesthatthewhalein itsbeleagueredstate,“maynotendowuswithanyanswers totheseaofunknowns.”
Althoughmyinitialreactiontosuchacallous evaluationisoneofjudgment,Itoofallvictimtomy selfishdesiresforeaseandsecuritywhenfacingdecisions withenvironmentalconsequences.WhileIliketothinkof myselfasanenvironmentalist,Khosla’scandorcausesme towonder:DoIactuallyactonmybeliefsaboutclimate change?Or,doIkeepdoingwhatiseasy,takingadvantage oftheconveniencesofmodernsocietythatare environmentallyunfriendlysuchasbuyingthingsonline (i.e.,withtheirattendantplasticandpaperpackagingand highercarbonfootprint)insteadofpurchasingthesesame itemsatalocalstore?Or,inmydailylife,doIdisregard easeandefficiency,andgetoutthereandhelp?
Insimplerterms,MayaKhoslahasgivenmeamirror.She hassaid,“Look!Look!”,andthenproventhatIamjustas fallibleassheis.Afterestablishingthisconnectionbetween us–Iamessentiallyherandsheisessentiallyme–Khosla alsogivesushopeaboutourselves:
bytheNavy’ssonicbooms clockingtheglobewiththeconstancy ofgunfire.Shemaysimplybe anupshot,abulbous,barnacled emblem ofourearth-ship’ssinking–
Thegrimaceofhermouth notunlikeherbluegodsmilesbelow holdingtheirownwhilebubblesofbreath arespiralinguplikeprayersforsalvation.
Now,aninitialreadingofthe finaltwostanzasmayresult inaninterpretationcompletelydivergentwithmyprevious statementabouthope,whichisrighttoanextent.These linesaredarkandnegative.Theypaintagrimpictureof environmentaldevastation,suggestingthatthegraywhale servesnotasamereanomalybutratherasymbolofour broaderenvironmentaldecline.Theyemphasizethateven the“bluegods”are“prayingforsalvation”speakingtohow thenaturalorderoftheworldhasbeenoverturned. Yet,amidthisbleakness,thefactthatKhoslaiswriting aboutitgivesushope.Khosla’sprimarygoalistwofold: first,tomakeusconfrontourownenvironmentalfailings, andsecond,toshowusthatwehavethepowertochange.
Heromissionofthepeople’s finaldecisionisn’tanaccident —it’sacalltoaction.Wewillneverknowbecausethe decisionisnotthemostimportantpartofthepoem.The mostimportantpartofthispoemisthefactthatsheis writingit,therebydemonstratinghowspreadingawareness canmendthedamagewehavedone.Yes,wearefallible.We makemistakes.Weareselfish.Wedonotconsidertheother inhabitantsoftheworldattimes,butwealsopossessthe capacityforchange.Khoslahasdoneherdutyandserved hertime.Ifnothingelse,Icansayforafactthatshehas motivatedatleastoneperson–me.So,Iinviteyoutojoin me–tobepartofthesolutionandstandontherightside ofhistory.Yes,youarejustoneperson,andyes,itisjust onewhale,butwecan’tletthisunderestimationofour powerhinderus.Ifwedon’ttakeaction,thenwhowill?
WorksCited
EllenMacarthurFoundation.“PlasticsandtheCircular Economy.”www.ellenmacarthurfoundation.org, 2023, www.ellenmacarthurfoundation.org/topics/plastics/o verview.Accessed29October2024. Kaplan,Sarah.“UNclimatechangereport:Catastrophic warmingwillclaimliveswithoutaction.” WashingtonPost,20March2023, https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environme nt/2023/03/20/climate-change-ipcc-report-15/#. Accessed29October2024.
Khosla,Maya."DisentanglingaGrayWhale"inAlltheFires ofWindandLight.SixteenRiversPress,2019.Poetry Foundation, https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/1609471/di sentangling-a-gray-whale.
Miller,James.“20EndangeredAnimalsthatwillbeExtinct by2050.”TheRoundup.org,16March2024, https://theroundup.org/animals-that-will-be-extinctby-2050/.Accessed29October2024.
HelenKourtidis
shecannotbreathe (herlungsfailher) sheheavesandchokesonherweakgasps theairalwaysescapeshergrasp shecannotsee (shestumblesindarkness) sheclosedhereyesandsqueezedthemtight shestitchedthemshut,blockedoutthelight shecannothear (shewon’tletherself) shecoversherearswithherpalms butneverseemsto findthecalm
shelivesinself-inflictedisolation, shedecays,trappedinhermind. Iwonder:doessheknow shecouldjustopenhereyes?
