nearby, USA vol. zero: beginner's luck/ fool's gold

VOL 0

SERIES 1

nearby,usa

BEGINNER'S LUCK/ FOOL'S GOLD

a journal of a zine type by ashley n worthey

Daughters of the Dust, (1991, dir. Julie Dash)

editor's note

Dorian Corey (1937-1993) Paris Is Burning (1990, dir. Jenny Livingston)

off vermont, los angeles 2016

9 of spades

HOW CAN THERE BE NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN WHEN THERE HAS NEVER BEEN TWO OF THE SAME TOMORROWS? HOW MANY WAYS ARE THERE TO SHUFFLE A DECK OF CARDS?

one more day

AS I AM GENTLY COAXED INTO CONSCIOUSNESS BY THE WARM MID-SUMMER LIGHT SHINING THROUGH THE BAY WINDOW THAT I LOVE SO MUCH, I HEAR MY GRANDMOTHER WALK INTO THE BEDROOM; HER QUIET STEPS TELL ME THAT SHE STILL HAS THAT DANCER’S GRACE "AFTER ALL THESE YEARS". I TURN OVER, HALF ASLEEP, AND SEE HER THROUGH HALF OPENED EYES ACROSS THE ROOM, ON THE OTHER SIDE OF HER WROUGHT IRON FOUR POST BED, NOW SITTING AT HER VANITY. I AM ALMOST FULLY AWAKE, AND WHILE I’M CLUMSILY RUBBING MY FACE, I HEAR HER ARRANGE THE ITEMS ON HER VANITY: THE METALLIC SLIDE OF HER POWDER BOX THAT SHE KEEPS HER BOBBY PINS AND HAIR ELASTICS IN AGAINST THE WOODEN VANITY, THE TWO SHARP CLICKS THAT IS HER JEWELRY BOX OPENING AND CLOSING. I SHAKE THE DUSTS OF SLEEP OFF OF ME AS I SIT UPRIGHT AND DRAW MORE OF THE VELVETEEN BLANKET THAT HAS RESTED ON THIS BED ALL MY LIFE CLOSER TO ME.

SHE NOTICES MY AWAKENING, AND SENDS ME THE SWEETEST SMILE THROUGH THE MIRROR. SHE REACHES FOR THE SILVER FULL MOON BUN THAT RESTS ON THE TOP OF HER HEAD AND WITH ONE PLUCK OF ONE BOBBY PIN, THE MOON ON TOP OF HER HEAD UNFURLS INTO A RIVER OF SILVER-GREY, MEANDERING DOWN HER PETITE BACK, ALMOST SWEEPING THE FLOOR. SHE TAKES UP LONGHANDLED THE BRASS BRUSH THAT I GAVE TO HER ON HER 70TH BIRTHDAY, AND STARTS TO HUM AS SHE BEGINS HER MORNING RITUAL. SEEINGS WONDER IN MY EYES, AS I AM NOW FULLY AWAKE, SHE TILTS THE BRUSH IN MY DIRECTION. “SWEET PEA, WHY DON’T YOU COME FIX YOUR GRAM’S HAIR?”

zuma beach, malibu 2016

(evidently one day i was feeling v barb kruger)Â

IRRESPONSIBILITY IS A LUXURY

taken at the Philbrook Museum of Art/Tulsa, OK

3 of diamonds

AMAZING, Â HOW MUCH YES YOU RECEIVE WHEN YOU FINALLY REACH HANDS, EXTENDED TO YOU YOU MIGHT EXPERIENCE A REBIRTH OF COOL

6 of spades

I REALLY WOULD LOVE TO STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES -IF I HAD THE NOSE FOR THEM. I'VE MORE OF A LAVENDER, LOTUS FLOWER, LILY SORT OF INDIVIDUALITY SO I KEEP WALKING.

Daughter's of the Dust (1991, dir. Julie Dash)

Daughter's of the Dust (1991, dir. Julie Dash)

affirmation of a love type

WE LAY, LIMBS TANGLED, KISSING HALF SLEEP HALF WAY TO HEAVEN I THANK OSTARA EVERYDAY THAT WE CHOSE US