Microaggressions from Karey | Michelle Pao

Microaggressions from Karey

2020 is almost over and I cannot remember what happened yesterday because I have been stuck in the same routine for the past year: I wake up, check my Google calendar, begrudgingly do the morning spiel of freshening up, and Zoom to class (literally checking into class at the last minute). But I do remember events that occurred quite frequently this year. I remember my friends losing loved ones, my father losing his job yet still remaining hopeful and cheering me on to finish my senior year strong, and most vividly, I remember being faced with microaggressions.

I never thought I would be subjected to these situations, especially in Binghamton where I thought people adopted some sweet Southern hospitality. “No one here would take a jab at me because of what my eyes look like or my race,” I thought. I was wrong.

During the spring semester when everyone on campus was mandated to leave, I was a junior living in University Plaza. Having to drop off an important document on campus, I went to the bus stop. Wearing my trench coat, winged eyeliner, baroque style earrings and mask, I felt unstoppable. Beside me a few feet away, there was another young man waiting for the bus. He was Caucasian. The bus rolled around soon enough and I got on after him. He sat in the back of the bus while I chose to sit in front of the exit to maintain social distancing. Towards the middle of the bus was an elderly Caucasian woman. Let’s call her Karey. Karey seemed to be a frequent passenger- she was comfortably and openly talking to the bus driver even though there was a plastic divider to minimize contact. She started rambling how everything was China’s fault- that they sent spies to the U.S. and this is the second time China has created a virus.

This did not bother me. What bothered me was how she kept turning around every so often to look at me as she said this out loud. What bothered me was the driver chuckling at her comments. What bothered me was what she said when she left. As she was about to step out the exit, she paused, turned around and said “Filthy animals” aloud, presumably alluding to the Chinese, but also taking a jab at me

8 ASIAN OUTLOOK

By Michelle Pao

for my Asian face. There were three people left on the bus: the young man, the driver and me. We rode in silence to campus. To say the least, I was pissed off and thrown off. Fuming in my head, I was furiously tapping on my phone, informing my friends of what had just happened. As the bus was pulling up to University Union, the bus driver shouted, “Wait, Miss!” With the young man having gone off the bus already, I walked to the center of the bus where the plastic divider was. As I was on one side, he was on the other. Thinking about this now, there was so much symbolism at this instance. He asked if I heard Karey say something. He apologized on her behalf and told me how he never expected something like this to come from Karey. I did not expect him to care, as he was Caucasian as well, but with him realizing she paused, turned around and said “Filthy animals” aloud, presumably alluding to the Chinese, but also taking a jab at me for my Asian face.

what had happened, I started to tear up from misjudging him and from him noticing Karey’s unethical behavior as well as calling it out- albeit a bit late. Meanwhile I tried to assure him it was okay, and that quarantine was a confusing time for everyone. Remember when I said there is symbolism in standing on opposite sides of a plastic barrier? I think this is the divide between others and

Microaggressions from Karey (the Retired Karen)

she paused, turned around and said “Filthy animals” aloud, presumably alluding to the Chinese, but also taking a jab at me for my Asian face.

what had happened, I started to tear up from misjudging him and from him noticing Karey’s unethical behavior as well as calling it out- albeit a bit late. Meanwhile I tried to assure him it was okay, and that quarantine was a confusing time

Remember when I said there is symbolism in standing on opposite sides of a plastic barrier? I think this is the divide between others and

Photo from The Urban Institute

Asians. Having white skin is like a barrier from the rapidly increasing microaggressions that occur today. The negative rhetoric put out to add fuel to the discrimination of Asians in the beginning of 2020 simply cannot be ignored. Our very own president of the United States and our Secretary of State Mike Pompeo both referenced the coronavirus by the terms “Chinese virus” and “Wuhan virus.” Without a doubt, microaggressions and hate speech increased after those phrases were uttered by these figures. Now it’s time to recount another microaggression, but this time in my predominantly Italian neighborhood. As my sister and I were walking past an elderly woman, but making sure we left enough space amongst ourselves to respect social distancing, she barked, “Yeah that’s right, walk faster” to our faces. Cue me furrowing my brows and asking my sister if I heard her correctly. When she confirmed what had happened, I wondered why these microaggressions I faced were happening, and why I seemed to be the easy target for these frail elderly women. Would they have done it to my father who is larger? Would they have said it to my plump grandmother who doesn’t know English? Perhaps not. Maybe their mindset is based on the expired notion that Asian American women are quiet and keeping their heads down. Well, lo and behold, there I was, the perfect target for them! I may have played into the stereotype as I did not want to cause a scene, but I truly wanted to ask what her intentions were. It is affirmative. 2020 has everyone on edge. From the elderly Karens you pass by on the street to the students juggling their mental health with Zoom classes while paying for the “college experience,” we all have been affected by this pandemic; there is no doubt about that. Yet, just because some politicians tossed out harmful phrases, that does not make it acceptable to hurl microaggressions at innocent bystanders . If you have experienced an attack, I urge you to put your safety first, calmly educate them if you would like to, and fill out an incident report. There is a form by the Asian Pacific Policy and Planning Council which keeps confidential records of the incidents to assist, educate and advocate for the AAPI community.* As these reports are quantified, so will the voices of our minority. Let us remember that 164 Republican members of Congress rejected the legislation that denounces hate incidents toward Asian Americans during the pandemic. My hope for 2021 is that you and I won’t stand still when we see a microaggression occurring. Make others aware that the unsolicited behavior is *https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/ 1FAIpQLSefH2Mq_zowEGcB4h5rnot acceptable. Be the 06BXX2aX3IBGfAENmEZDXUktCfPEbigger person. eQ/viewform

Vol. XXXIX, Issue I 9