Asian Outlook Fall 2015 Issue #2 by Asian Outlook

ASIAN OUTLOOK volume XXIX, issue 2

Vol. XXIX, Issue 2

Volume XXIX, Issue 2

contents ASIAN OUTLOOK 2

ASIAN OUTLOOK

arts & entertainment 20 | Julie and Julia Movie | Fia Le 22 | Who Are You: School 2015 Drama Review | Anna Lin

conscience 26 | Cat Cortes 27 | Dale Gao 28 | Eric Liang

letter from the editor...

ASIAN OUTLOOK EXECUTIVE BOARD FALL 2015 editors-in-chief

can’t believe that it’s almost the end of the semester!

December really snuck up on us, didn’t it? I hope everyone had a wonderful fall semester at Binghamton, because I know I definitely did. As a senior, I don’t have many semesters left here, so I really hope you cherish your time here at college, because the time really does fly. Being editor-in-chief of Asian Outlook has been a super amazing and fulfilling experience, and I’ve met a lot of new people along the way. Although it’s a lot of responsibility, I feel like I have really grown as a person while doing this job. That being said, I think you guys will really enjoy this issue of Asian Outlook that we’ve prepared for you. I hope you guys can enjoy it while on a study break from finals, or at home over winter break! A lot has happened over the last few months, such as the attacks on Paris, Beirut, and many other places. My thoughts are with all the people who were affected by those heinous acts. On the more positive side, China has finally decided to end its barbarous one-child-policy, which resulted in forced abortions and compulsory sterilizations for many Chinese women. On the other hand, there are many less serious articles in this issue, such as the articles on AMC’s new show Into the Badlands and Disney’s new movie Moana. Last issue, I wrote about the problem of whitewashing Asian characters in Hollywood and not having enough minority characters, but AMC’s new show has an Asian American actor as the lead role, which is really refreshing to see on screen. Disney’s newest princess, Moana, is also going to be Hawaiian and going to be voiced by native Hawaiian Auli’i Cravalho. Hopefully, this trend of Hollywood opening up its roles to actors of different races will continue in 2016. I want to thank everyone on my e-board who worked so hard to create this issue. Additionally, I’d like to thank all the contributors, readers, friends, family, and ASU for reading the magazine, coming to our general body meetings and supporting us in general, because without you guys Asian Outlook wouldn’t be what it is. Lastly, here’s a quick shoutout to the AO Asian Night performers who put on a great spoken word performance. I’m really proud of you guys! I wish everyone the best of luck on your finals, papers, and projects that may stand in the way of you going home to your family. We’re at the home stretch now, so don’t give up! You can do it! See you all next year, and have a happy holiday!

Calvin Chan Editor-in-Chief, Fall 2015

conscience editor copy editors

layout editors

secretary business manager publicity manager

Calvin Chan Alex Ching Anna Lin Angela Wu Angeles Yeung Brian Kang Eric Liang Airi Kojima Anita Wong Fia Le Ting Lin Cat Cortes Leslie Park Carney Zeng

EDITORIAL POLICY Asian Outlook is the art, literary and news magazine of the Asian Student Union of SUNY’s Binghamton University. Originally conceived and created to challenge, redefine, re-imagine and revolutionize images and perceptions associated with Asians and Asian Americans, Asian Outlook also serves to protect the voice of those in the minority, whether by ethnicity, gender, and/or political orientation. All matter contained within these beautiful pages do not necessarily reflect the views of the editorial board. Asian Outlook reserves the right to edit submissions and publish work as deemed appropriate. Prospective contributors are encouraged to discuss their work with the editors prior to submissions. Articles may be submitted as an e-mail attachment to ao.editor@gmail.com. All artistic and literary pieces may be submitted to aoconscience@gmail.com.

CONTACT POLICY Uninvited contact with writers and contributors is forbidden under punishment of pain. Please direct all questions, comments and complaints to ao.editor@gmail.com. interested in contributing?

E-mail us at:

ao.editor@gmail.com

Or come to our weekly meetings held in the Asian Student Union office (UUW-329) every Thursday at 8:00 p.m.

Vol. XXIX, Issue 2

The End T of China’s One-Child Policy

People’s Republic of China announced on October 29th, to end its controversial onechild policy and allow Chinese couples to have two children. The one-child policy was an old government policy in China that limited many families to only one child. The policy is estimated to have prevented about 400 million births, since its inception, a number greater than the populations of the United States and Canada combined. Until the 1960s, the Chinese government encouraged families to have as many children as possible, because of Mao Zedong’s belief that a large population strengthened the country. Because of these beliefs, the population of China had grown from 540 million in 1949 to 940 million in 1976. As the population neared a billion however, there were concerns among the Communist party that overpopulation would negatively affect their economic growth. The Chinese government adopted the slogan of “late, long, and few” and urged families to have only one child. The controversial policy was finally introduced nationally by Deng Xiaoping in 1979, in a last ditch attempt to slow the population growth. The government initially enforced the policy by providing employment and financial incentives to families with only one child. “Population and family planning commissions” were established at every level of government to implement the policy. For example, government employees that violated the policy would get fired. Fines were also imposed on families with more than one child based on the income of the family and other factors. Some government officials were even more extreme with their punishment. Some violators of the onechild policy were forced to go through compulsory sterilizations and abortions. Although these inhumane methods were not encouraged by the central government, local and provincial officials still implemented these policies because a low fertility rate was often a quick path to promotion within the government. he

By Calvin Chan

Ending China’s one-child policy: too little, too late? 4

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In 2005, families in the city of Linyi who had two or more children had their homes raided by local government officials. Pregnant women with two children were forced to get abortions. Parents with more than one child were forced into having one parent sterilized. If people tried to hide from the authorities, their families would end up jailed or beaten. These instances of brutality were reported as recently as 2012. That year, in Shaanxi province, a young pregnant woman was dragged by the police to a hospital and forced to have an abortion because she could not pay the fine for having a second child. The one-child policy also led to huge gender imbalances within the country. This had a profound effect on the lives of many ordinary Chinese, who still live in rural areas of the country. Sons have always been favored over daughters in the countryside, because the daughter will be married away to her husband’s home. If couples are only allowed one child, they will soon be left without anyone to take care of them or their farm in old age. Female infanticide quickly became a problem after the implementation of the one-child policy. Reports have shown that more than a million babies were killed within the first 10 years of the policy, with most of them being girls. Another study shows that 95% of the children in Chinese orphanages are girls. Because of the one-child rule and the preference of sons over daughters, men outnumber women in China by at least 33 million. China still has one of the highest male to female sex ratios in the world, with 115.88 baby boys projected for every 100 baby girls. Many men in China, called “guanggun” or “bare branches,” are unable to find wives. It has been estimated that there will be 40 to 50 million Chinese bachelors in the future. The presence of so many unmarriageable men can potentially be destabilizing to countries, because these men are statistically more likely to turn to violent crime, crimes against women, and substance abuse. Over the years, the one-child policy has been relaxed in many parts of the country, as sociologists and demographers raised concerns about the decrease in the working age population and the increased social costs that come with an aging population. For example, in rural areas, couples were allowed to have two children if the first child was a girl. There were also exceptions made to ethnic minorities in China, where over 90% of the population is Han Chinese. Since 2013, couples were allowed to have a second child, if at least one of the parents was an only child. By 2007, only 37% of couples were restrained by the one-child rule, and these couples could still pay to have more kids if they wanted to. The decision to finally end the one-child policy was driven by the Communist Party’s concern about China’s low birth rates and the dramatic growth of the elderly population, which would put great strain on the economy in the future. China’s population at the moment is at around 1.36 billion, with over 30% of them being

over the age of 50. This number is rapidly increasing as huge numbers of people who were born before the implementation of the one-child policy are beginning to grow old. Additionally, many children born after the rule went into effect are known as “4-2-1” children. This term is used to describe the only child of the family, whose parents were also the only child of the family. As these kids get older, not only will they have to take care of their parents by themselves, but they also have to take care of their 4 grandparents as well. Having to take care of so many elderly puts a great strain on not only the government but the younger generation as well. Many experts, however, say that these reforms will have little effect on China’s population and are instead just a practical response to an outdated and unpopular policy. Due to the longevity of the one-child rule, the practice of contraceptives and family planning are very much the norm. Even in rural areas, contraceptives are readily available to couples. The idea of what a “Chinese family” is has also changed greatly over the past four decades. Most kids, whether they grew up in a “multi-generation home” or “nuclear style families,” have only known families with one or two kids at most. The resources and attention of both parents are usually funneled into one child, and this is what is perceived as a “normal” family in China. As the country undergoes rapid urbanization, more and more Chinese citizens are now living in cities, where the costs of raising kids have skyrocketed. For many urban dwellers, it simply is not feasible to have more than one child because of economic pressure and insufficient social welfare. Many human rights activists have also criticized the reforms, saying that the one-child policy has simply become the two-child policy, with the Chinese government still controlling the reproductive rights of women. “The move to change China’s one-child policy is not enough. Couples that have two children could still be subjected to coercive and intrusive forms of contraception, and even forced abortions— which amount to torture,” said William Nee, China Researcher at Amnesty International.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-34667551 http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-34665539 https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2015/10/29/ the-human-suffering-caused-by-chinas-one-child-policy/ https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/asia_pacific/china-lifts-one-child-policy-amid-worries-of-graying-population/2015/10/29/207fc0e6-7e2b-11e5-beba-927fd8634498_story.html

Vol. XXIX, Issue 2

China’s First Nobel Prize in Science e to

t a u q E t Does No y t i r e p s o r P c i f i t n Scie By Amy Zhang

Nobel Prize is one of the most prestigious and highly regarded awards a person can receive. The prize is given to those who have contributed novel ideas, discoveries, and significant improvements to people around the world. The majority of Nobel laureates are from the United States and Europe. It was not until Oct. 5, 2015 that Youyou Tu became the first native Chinese citizen who had not studied abroad to win the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine. While many may applaud China for finally having reached scientific prosperity, the prize is not indicative of China’s current scientific and medical competence. Youyou Tu is currently a professor at and director of Qinghaosu Research Center, at the Institute of Chinese Materia Medica, China Academy of Chinese Medical Sciences. Professor Tu graduated from Peking University School of Medicine and graduated from its Department of Pharmacology in 1955. She then went on to join the Institute of Chinese Materia Medica, China Academy of Traditional Chinese Medicine, which has since been renamed to the China Academy of Chinese Medical Sciences. In 1965, she was recruited by Mao Zedong to a top-secret military project called “Project 523” to develop a cure for malaria. At that time China was undergoing the Cultural Revolution, during which it rejected and persecuted Western-trained scientists. However, China needed a way to help its ally, North Vietnam, in the Cold War because Vietnamese soldiers were dying from malaria, and the typically prescribed drug, chloroquine, had stopped being effective. Tu found another cure he

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for malaria in ancient texts that were over a hundred years old. With the help of these texts, she discovered artemisinin, a chemical isolate from sweet wormwood, in 1967, which has since been used to treat malaria and has saved thousands of lives. What is extraordinary about China’s first Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine is that it is not contingent on the billions of dollars China has invested into their Science and Technology (S&T) System. China invested around $4.7 billion in medical science research from 2011 to 2015 in the hopes of eventually winning a Nobel Prize. A Nobel Prize in the sciences would be a validation of China’s attainment of modern development and prosperity, as well as the quality of its education system. However, these efforts ended up not contributing to Tu’s success, as her prizewinning research was from over 40 years ago. Research conducted during the Cultural Revolution that was based on ancient texts is far from a sign of having reached modernity. As such, Tu’s Nobel Prize is not a validation of China’s successful S&T system, but rather a refutation of it. A major problem in China’s research and development programs is that it is trying to catch up with the West, which actually inhibits their abilities to discover new and creative findings. According to Wu Yishan, vice president of the Chinese Academy of Science and Technology for Development, “It is not that research competition is [the] problem, but [rather] the paperbased evaluation.” His belief is that China is too caught up with conducting research that will get published and

Youyou Tu, the first citizen of the People’s Republic of China to have been awarded the Nobel Prize in medicine for discovering artemisinin.

in doing so catch up with the West, and that most of this research lacks original content and fails to produce cutting-edge innovation. Even though Chinese scientists have independently developed about 40 chemical drugs since 1986, China was never recognized for their scientific and medical accomplishments. In fact, the so-called “independently developed” drugs are copycat drugs. The scientific research culture in China does not encourage scientists to be innovative and has even shunned their most notable researcher. Professor Tu never earned an award for her research in China, and although she was nominated to be a member of the Chinese Academy of Sciences several times, she was always rejected because of her lack of foreign training and doctoral degree. A possible reason that Professor Tu was successful in winning the Nobel Prize was because she truly cared about discovering the cure to malaria instead of focusing on fame. As she even said, “I do not want fame. In our day, no essay was published under the author’s byline.” The goal for conducting a study should not be to win a Nobel Prize, but instead should be to truly improve and advance people’s lives around the world. Although Professor Tu was given the mission to find a cure to malaria, she

made it her life’s mission to achieve it. She recounted her experience witnessing how many children were affected by malaria and how they quickly died from the disease. She recalled that “the work was the top priority so I was certainly willing to sacrifice my personal life.” In order to ensure the drug was effective on humans, Professor Tu volunteered to be the first human subject to test the drug. Her passion, determination, and courage is what allowed her to win China’s first Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine. Professor Tu’s achievements is commendable, and she deserved to win the prize after over 40 years. She was innovative and was willing to explore a different approach to find a cure for malaria. Her prize is telling of her personal abilities, and not that of her country’s. In order for China to promote greater scientific achievements, it must allow room for innovation and creativity as well. However, China’s first Nobel Prize in science is still a major milestone, and perhaps many other scientists can look to Professor Tu’s passion, determination, and courage as inspiration for their research.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/07/world/asia/tu-youyou-chinese-scientist-nobel-prize.html?_r=0 https://www.timeshighereducation.com/blog/what-youyou-tus-nobel-prize-victory-means-chinese-science http://www.forbes.com/sites/yanzhonghuang/2015/10/06/tu-youyou-an-outlier-of-chinas-scientific-and-technological-system/ http://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/oct/05/youyou-tu-how-maos-challenge-to-malaria-pioneer-led-to-nobel-prize http://www.warrenalpert.org/prize-recipients/tu-youyou http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/china-s-first-science-nobel-prize-exposes-stresses-on-country-s-research/

Vol. XXIX, Issue 2

Terror in Paris By Leslie Park

ASIAN OUTLOOK

ovember

13, 2015. A

series of shots and explosions

shatters the peace that once filled the streets of

France. People flee for cover. What began as an ordinary day for many suddenly turned into chaos and terror. No one expected such disaster to strike that night, shocking the whole globe. The calamity started that night at approximately 9:20 p.m. , when an explosion was heard outside the national stadium, the Stade de France. A suicide bomber had blown himself up, killing a passerby, after being denied access to the stadium during a routine security check. Minutes later, two gunmen stepped in front of a cafébar in the city center and began shooting, firing into a nearby restaurant, killing 15 civilians and injuring 10. The situation only worsened from then on, with shootings, hostages, and suicide bombings occurring throughout Paris, including popular eateries and the Bataclan concert hall, a Parisian landmark. The greatest number casualties was at the Bataclan hall, where 89 individuals were killed and over 200 were injured. It was a truly tragic sight for the citizens as the gunmen fired continuously and then nonchalantly returned to their cars. Witnesses stated that the gunmen had fired for at least three minutes, the longest said to be around 15 minutes. The series of attacks occurred within half an hour. Within that short period of time, the attackers succeeded in killing 130 people and injuring 368. The attackers behind this were identified as members of ISIS, the Islamic State militant group. To no surprise, this event drew reactions from several world leaders. The majority, including President Obama, condemned the attacks and classified them as “an act of war” or “a piecemeal Third World War”. The only exception was from the Syrian president, Bashar al-Assad, who claimed that the “ignorance” of Western policies was the main reason for the expanding terrorism. He claimed that France had brought it onto themselves by supporting Syrian rebel groups, enemies of the ISIS. Several politicians also responded, the most controversial statement coming from presidential candidate, Donald Trump. He strongly responded to the events by expressing his stance on restricting Syrian

refugees from entering the United States. He claimed that it could potentially allow terrorists to sneak in, comparing it to a Trojan horse. Going even further, he declared that mosques be surveyed for any talk of uprisings, even stating that the government should take action to shut some down if any radical leaders were found there. The fear of terrorists hiding amongst refugees is apparent not only in the United States, but also in France. After the attacks, President Hollande of France declared that border security be intensified. French politician, Marine Le Pen, also urged Parliament that a ban on immigration into the country immediately after the attacks was in order. The question arises whether or not this is a practical solution. Is shutting out refugees the answer to preventing future entry of terrorists? It is an understandable and difficult issue, balancing desires to help ourselves and aiding those in dire need. Some argue that there are plenty of affluent neighboring Arab countries for the refugees to migrate . Therefore, it is not harmful for European nations to close off their borders. However, it is human nature to emulate what we see. As leading countries such as France and the United States begin restricting immigration into their respective countries, we can expect other nations to promptly follow their initiative. As a result, the refugees would have nowhere to go, and their journeys would have been for naught, eventually resulting in death. Some argue that the masses of Muslims are the source of all global terrorist problems, which is a grossly misled generalization. Many people are deceived into believing everything that the media reports. However, there are many stories that don’t reach international news. People are not fully informed about the day to day occurrences in other nations. Hence, it is ignorant to categorize all Muslims into this group of terrorists wreaking havoc in countries, bombing planes, and shooting civilians. Clearly, a new strategy must be created to assure safety. The attacks in France were a tragedy, but we should not stray from our values and let misfortune distort our judgments.

Vol. XXIX, Issue 2

THE RISE OF DRAGON BOAT RACING:

By Angeles Yeung

WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR ALL OF US?

ne by one, the paddlers step nimbly into the

Boat Festival, or the Duanwu Festival, and is officially celebrated by China and the Chinese diaspora as a time their flip flops scattered on the dock. A festival for family and friends. official speaks into his walkie talkie, cueing Today, it is not only the Chinese who celebrate this his colleagues to the boat’s arrival. “Paddles up!” sounds festival and the sport of dragon boat racing. There are the steerer’s voice. Everyone moves in unison, settling similar festivals all over Southeast Asia: Dano in Korea, rhythmically into the familiar ‘A-frame’ pose. At the Children’s Day in Japan, and Tết Đoan Ngọ in Vietnam. starting line, a hush falls over the boats as they anxiously In the Japanese cities of Itoman and Naha, dragon boat await the horn that will signal a flurry of arms digging into racing, known there as haarii, is celebrated every June to the water. Bleeep! And they shoot off like rockets, fueled give thanks to the sea for its nourishment and to pray for by the drummers’ heavy thumping, much to the delight of safe voyages. the spectators crowded along the riverbank. Dragon boat racing has also become an important Families, youth, the elderly, local tradition in Hong Kong businesspeople, and community \FAMILIES, YOUTH, THE ELDERLY, since 1976, when the first leaders alike gather to watch the Hong Kong International LOCAL BUISNESSPEOPLE, AND sport known as dragon boating, Boat Races event was held while also enjoying attractions COMMUNITY LEADERS ALIKE with British backing to such as traditional Chinese dancing boost Western tourism. GATHER TO WATCH THE SPORT and singing, food stalls heaping Their attempts at with fish balls and lo mein, and KNOWN AS DRAGON BOAT RACING/ modernizing the sport were dumpling-eating contests, just to effective. Just this year, name a few. The spectators cheer on dozens of teams as 4,000 athletes from 14 countries, including the United they compete for a spot in the top division, in hopes of Kingdom, Australia, Singapore, and Taiwan attended. winning a cash prize. The international participants in this event went on to As dragon boat racing gains increasing popularity in establish teams and festivals in their home countries. In the United States as well as the international stage, some 2012, eight Jewish-Canadian women brought dragon boat might wonder how it all began. There are several legends racing to Israel for the first time. Three years later, the explaining the origins. As the most popular one goes, over festival had the participation of 30 teams, with Hebrew 2,000 years ago, an official loyal to the King of the Chu University among them. With such a large following, state named Quan Yu was scapegoated by envious rivals for the International Dragon Boat Federation (IDBF) was treason and exiled. During his exile, his beloved kingdom formed in 1991 to govern the development of the sport. Its was conquered, and in despair, Qu Yuan committed suicide mission to introduce the sport to as many countries and by drowning himself in the Miluo River. Saddened, the people will come to fruition if its on-going bid to become locals who had long admired his patriotism went out in an official Olympic sport succeeds. boats to search for his body. Unable to find it, they paddled As the success of dragon boat racing continues, along the river, purposefully stabbing their paddles into especially in the United States, it is difficult to avoid its the water to scare away evil spirits. To lure away any fish juxtaposition with the non-existent progress of Asian that might have feasted on Qu Yuan’s body, they threw rice American representation in other team sports, such as into the river. This tradition became known as the Dragon football or basketball, that are considered all-American. wooden dragon boat with bare feet, having left

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A scene from a dragon boat race.

Currently, approximately 0.2% of all college basketball players identify as Asian or Asian American. Given that Asians make up 6% of the US population, they are severely underrepresented. The popularity of dragon boat racing among Asian Americans may be evidence that there is a need for an outlet for Asian American talent in sports. Dragon boat racing has been hailed as a sport for all, in that it is mixed gender and accessible to any one regardless of age, race, or experience. The growth of female participation in the sport of rowing is a parallel phenomenon. While rowing has become saturated with women’s collegiate and high school programs, the stands at women’s basketball games remain empty and support for female participation in such sports remain low. The fact that under-represented, marginalized groups are allowed to shine in sports that focus on the team, rather than the individual, is not coincidental. Asian and white female athletes face similar discrimination; both are deemed less suitable for “masculine” sports when compared to white male athletes and are afforded less opportunities. There is ongoing effort, however, to achieve gender equality in college sports. Although some

universities consistently fail to comply with the statutes laid down by Title IX, women’s participation in collegiate sports is nevertheless regulated. Racial minorities do not enjoy the same priority. Admittedly, the sport of dragon boat racing has been overly romanticized here, as it has been by both Eastern and Western followers of the sport. It is important to point out that dragon boat racing underwent countless periods of prohibition as well as support throughout its long history, depending on who was ruling the Chinese empire at the time. It is undeniably a valuable Chinese tradition, but it is not the holistic representation of Chinese history and culture we wish it to be. The most recent period of prohibition was during the Cultural Revolution in China that took place between 1966 and 1976, when most traditions were considered backward and subsequently purged. It was only under the rule of Deng Xiaoping and his policies of reform and openness that dragon boat racing was once again practiced. This time, the Chinese government fully backed its revival as an easily digestible symbol of Chinese culture and tradition to the Western world. The Chinese embraced dragon boat

Vol. XXIX, Issue 2

racing to consolidate a new identity. To some extent, they achieved this by constructing a common past where dragon boat racing was a universal tradition. At the same time, Westerners sought to modernize the sport for commercial consumption. It is possible that they will encourage the popularity of sports rooted in indigenous folklore, thereby prolonging its longevity, as a tactic to preserve Western sports in all their modern glory, for Westerners. There has always been the idea that Asians and other “foreigners” refuse to integrate and participate in modern lifestyles, but perhaps, it is rather that we are denied entry at the door of these luxuries. It is difficult to prove that Asians have historically been discriminated against when it comes to sports. The stereotype persists that Asian men are physically weak, despite the fact that Asian countries are steadily medaling at the Olympics and participation in sports like dragon boat racing is growing. The problem lies in that Asians are thought to excel only at sports like table tennis and dragon boat racing because these sports are, as one recent study put it, “more physiologically fair” and require technique, as opposed to brute strength. Although it is progress enough to see more Asians participating in sports, no matter what kind, it is only until there is proportional representation in all sports that one can say Asians and other minorities are on an even playing field. After all, sensations like Jeremy Lin are the exception, not the norm. Sources: http://www.chinahighlights.com/festivals/dragon-boat-festival-history.htm http://www.idbf.org/about_history.php http://www.oki-islandguide.com/culture-lifestyle/haarii-dragon-boat-races http://www.discoverhongkong.com/us/see-do/events-festivals/highlight-events/dragon-boat-carnival.jsp http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-4665166,00.html http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/a-pink-fleet-takes-over-victoria-harbour-300108585.html http://www.researchgate.net/publication/276290312_Asian_Participation_and_Performance_at_the_Olympic_Games http://www.isdy.net/pdf/eng/2008_09.pdf

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Studying Abroad and Discovering Myself By Anita Wong

rowing up as a first-generation

American, I struggled with juggling two languages along with two distinct cultures. As I began to focus more on my English, my Chinese had diluted into an incoherent language that only my parents could understand. At family gatherings, my older relatives’ questions were answered with awkward head nods and butchered pronunciations. My embarrassing inability to communicate with my own family made me feel distant and ashamed of my culture. My parents had decided to enroll me in a Chinese school and I attended every Sunday class with great reluctance. However, I was never able to pick up the language and stopped attending after a few years. It was only in college that I had decided to take another Chinese class. Now that I was no longer a stubborn eight year old, learning Chinese this time around was completely different. The classes were engaging and Anita during her study abroad trip. with my teacher’s guidance and expertise, I was able to comprehend the material. Soon enough, I was hooked. Every time I encountered a new character or phrase, I would immediately look it up on my Chinese dictionary app. At last, all of those unrecognizable characters from years ago were making sense to me. I was finally acknowledging this part of myself that I had neglected for so long. Before attending Binghamton University, I had never thought to take Chinese classes again. I didn’t see the purpose of learning another language because my foreign language requirement was fulfilled with four years of Spanish from high school. However, while registering for classes sophomore year, I unwillingly signed up for Chinese 101 due to all of my core business courses being already filled. Now, I find myself continuing to study the language while pursuing a Chinese minor. In addition, this past summer I had the opportunity to study abroad at Fudan University in Shanghai, China. I had always wanted to visit the country where my parents had grown up. However, my family never had the money or the time to go anywhere outside of the United States, let alone halfway across the world to China. I was really excited, yet nervous, to travel to a completely different place all by myself for the first time. I hoped to practice my Chinese language skills and thought, by immersing myself in this culture, I would be able to improve drastically. While my language skills did not improve much within the short six weeks I was there, I did learn something very valuable. Being surrounded by people who looked just like my family and me, I fitted in perfectly. However, whenever someone came up to me to ask me a question, I wouldn’t be able to understand them. They would then question me, confused that someone who looked Chinese did not speak Chinese. It was very frustrating to have people laugh, mock or be downright angry at me for not being able to communicate with them when I should have been able to. In my Chinese class, I was the only Chinese person among the diverse students from all different countries around the world. A non-Chinese person was seen as smart for knowing how to speak Chinese, whereas I was looked down upon because I was supposed to know. Although it made me discouraged, my peers were able to support me and instead I am now trying to overcome negative judgments and focus on my studies. I am continuing to study Chinese, being more involved in the Asian community on campus, making friends in the international community at Binghamton, and applying to more programs to hopefully study abroad again in China. This past summer made me realize how important my culture is to my identity and question what it really means to be a Chinese-American. It’s important for people here to know who they are outside of being simply an American. I hope that I can inspire others to not only study abroad but to explore the culture within your family, as well as different ones outside. The world is a big place, and there are endless discoveries to be made out there, and within ourselves.

Vol. XXIX, Issue 2

Why Ben Carson Appeals to Americans, and Why He’s Dangerous By Alexander Ching

art of any media coverage on the presidential candidates includes a vetting process, which usually happens around this time of year—right before the primaries start, but just after the

large debates have concluded.

Some candidates have complained of media bias against the Republican field; generally these media investigations are a reflection of the slow political landscape during this time in the election season. Yet despite this usually boring and unimportant political “fluff period,” there has been some controversy surrounding the Republican candidate Ben Carson. Carson, a world-famous neurosurgeon notable for leading the first successful operation to separate conjoined twins, has been in the media spotlight for allegedly having lied about receiving a scholarship to West Point, an accusation that Carson has denied. That story aside, there exists an even more perplexing news article, in which Carson is reported as believing that the pyramids were built by Joseph (the Biblical character) to store grain, instead of being designed by Egyptians to house their pharaohs’ graves. Now, Carson has been no stranger to controversy. His biggest platform is his religious conservatism, including his harsh stance against abortion. Furthermore, he believes that evolution is an idea created by the devil, that homosexuality is a choice, and that Obamacare is “the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery.” Yet I cannot help but to stare, confounded, as I watch him deliver a commencement address at Andrews University, saying that he believes that a figure from the Old Testament created the pyramids.

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It is a commonly known fact that the pyramids were used by the Egyptians as burial places for their dead; this has been proven beyond a doubt by archaeological findings. It would be easier to believe if Carson said he believed Santa Claus was real. His belief, combined with his stance on evolution, is just so perplexing. It isn’t as if he didn’t attend Yale University or University of Michigan Medical School, so why does Carson seem to reject empiricism and rationality, despite undergoing years of higher education? Although it may be a surprise that a well-educated man like Carson would believe in such theories, it is not a surprise that many Americans share some of his beliefs, including his stance on evolution. There is a large gap between what scientists believe and what the rest of the United States population does. For example, 94 percent of scientists believe that climate change is a serious threat, while only 65 percent of the population agrees. 88 percent of scientists believe that genetically modified foods are generally safe, while only 37 percent of the public agrees. And while it may be easy to simply laugh at the public’s ignorance, a friend once reminded me that ignorance is something that is saddening and perhaps infuriating, but not something to laugh at. Ignorance means that there is a pervasive gap in scientific understanding. In this case, a large part of Carson’s appeal is his ability to reject science while also being a leader in the medical field. To his followers, he is a science “insider.” This allows his constant rejections of commonly held facts to be much more cogent,

because he has the scientific “credentials” to proclaim that in his own experience, science is wrong, and that what he and his followers believe is right. Such is the danger of Ben Carson. He can act as a rebel within the scientific community and help affirm the beliefs of religious conservatives, including that evolution is the work of the devil, that pyramids were made by Joseph, and that the Big Bang theory is false. Because of his scientific background, he has more power than any other Republican candidate to galvanize other science skeptics, allowing them to continue

rejecting science. This will undoubtedly help his campaign, but more worrisome is the negative impact his campaign will have regarding scientific literacy. Despite the fact that in 1987 the Supreme Court ruled in Edwards v. Aguillard that it was illegal to teach creationism in public schools, today creationism is taught in Texas public schools, along with the idea that fossil records are “not accurate.” If Carson’s popularity continues to rise, we could see more public backlash against science. Such a thing would be a danger to all who believe in science advocacy.

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2014/01/creationism_in_texas_public_schools_undermining_the_charter_movement.html http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/01/americans-believe-in-science-just-not-its-findings/384937/ https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/11/05/ben-carson-believes-joseph-builtegypts-pyramids-to-store-grain-and-it-just-may-get-him-some-votes/

Vol. XXIX, Issue 2

Daniel Wu

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Breaking Down Stereotypes By Frankie Choi

Daniel Wu sound familiar to Well, it should! He is a Hong Kongbased Chinese American actor who has been featured in more than 60 films and is now the main lead of AMC’s new show, “Into the Badlands.” The martial arts drama, inspired by the classic Chinese tale, “Journey to the West,” takes place centuries into the future in a feudal society called the Badlands, where seven Barons compete for access to the Badlands’ resources. In the midst of their struggle for power, Daniel plays Sunny, a regent to the Badlands’ most powerful baron, Quinn. They also rescue a teenage boy, M.K. , from captivity and gradually understand his importance and value. There was some hype prior to the premiere of the show due to the fact that an Asian American was chosen as a main lead. Not since ABC launched a new comedy series called “Fresh Off the Boat,” which features an all-Asian American family as its cast, has there been another Asian American as the main lead. Although there was more publicity behind “Fresh Off the Boat” than “Into the Badlands,” the latter is just as important in terms of the overall portrayal of Asian Americans in media. “Fresh Off the Boat” is a comedy series that mainly exaggerates and pokes fun at Asian American stereotypes, such as the well-known “tiger mom” stereotype. “Into the Badlands,” on the other hand, is a show with a much more serious tone that incorporates realistic martial arts and Kung Fu. In order to get a true understanding of this art of fighting, the actors underwent intense training sessions led by martial arts coordinator, Master Dee Dee, who has contributed to many popular martial arts films, including “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” and “The Matrix.” To some, “Fresh Off the Boat” and “Into the Badlands” represent a step forward in the muchneeded progress for Asian American portrayal oes the name you?

in media. Recently, however, someone by the name of Victoria tweeted on the social media website Twitter, “#intothebadlands looks great. Pivotal mistake is that lead actor, Daniel Wu’s character has no Chinese accent. Bad choice. Too American…” Daniel Wu responded perfectly, “Not all people who do Kung Fu speak like fortune cookies.” This encounter raises the question, why does Victoria believe that Daniel needed a Chinese accent? or what does “too American” even mean? Ironically enough, Daniel was born and raised in California. Whether Victoria’s remark was illintentioned or not, such an example goes to show that despite what progress we have made and continue to make towards breaking down wellbuilt barriers and stereotypes regarding race, it will be a long and slow process. It is important to note that Daniel Wu’s character in the show “Into the Badlands” did not necessarily have to be Asian American, as the script did not call for it. AMC’s choice to go with an Asian American male as the main lead is undoubtedly a huge step forward in Asian representation in media and television shows. The character Sunny also does not play a stereotypically Asian role, the portrayals of which in the media typically range from the Asian nerd to the Kung Fu master. Yes, Sunny does know Kung Fu (and is very good at it, for that matter), but his Kung Fu does not define his character. The portrayal of Asian Americans in the media has come a long way. It is refreshing to see more Asian Americans as the lead characters in various shows, but there is still considerable progress to be made. Hopefully with the help of Daniel Wu and his lead role in the new show, the stereotypes that have so often constrained Asian Americans in the media can finally be dismantled, leading to more diverse roles for Asian Americans.

Sources: http://inbusinessandlife.com/2015/11/14/interview-with-daniel-wu-actor-into-the-badlands/ http://collider.com/daniel-wu-into-the-badlands-interview/ http://o.canada.com/entertainment/television/into-the-badlands-star-daniel-wu-on-busting-stereotypes-kicking-butt

Vol. XXIX, Issue 2

Moana: A Princess of Change By Carney Zeng

“Moana,” an animated Disney film hitting theaters a year from November, follows the adventures of a young princess setting sail from the ancient South Pacific islands of Oceania in search of a fabled island.

November 23 of next year, the world will meet Moana Waialiki, the newest addition to Disney’s proud line of princesses. The film Moana directed by Ron Clements and John Musker will follow our young courageous heroine and her demi-god friend, Maui, as they set foot on an epic adventure to sail the vast South Pacific world of Oceania to finish her ancestor’s quest. Auli’i Cravalho, a 14-year-old native Hawaiian girl, has been casted as the voice of our sea-voyaging heroine. The high school sophomore was born on the island of Hawaii and currently resides in Mililani, on the island of Oahu, with her mother Puanani, an administrative assistant. She attends the Kamehameha Schools, which focus on teaching local heritage and culture. Maui, the demi-god, will be played by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. When Disney first introduced Moana to the world, they also announced an open casting call to give teenage girls all over the world the opportunity to be the next Disney princess. Many swarmed at the chance of fulfilling their childhood dreams by submitting audition pieces to YouTube. Feeling discouraged by her competition, Cravalho didn’t even audition and decided to pursue local opportunities instead. The young Hawaiian participated in a singing competition with her friends for a local charity. With a little bit of luck and Disney magic, an Oahu n

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casting agent stumbled upon her singing at the charity event and offered her an audition for the part of Moana. Cravalho’s competition included another Oahu native named Ciana. The search for the next Disney princess ended when Disney released a video of Cravalho’s reaction to getting the part; Disney executives faked a final video casting where they made Cravalho act out as if she got the part, only to reveal that she actually did. Cravalho’s story sends a meaningful message to young children which can be summarized through Johnson’s words: “work hard, have confidence in yourselves and never think you’re not good enough because you never know what the future holds.” The directors, Ron Clements and John Musker are responsible for many recognizable Disney films such as The Little Mermaid (1989), Aladdin (1992), The Princess and the Frog (2009) and much more. Moana will not only be the pair’s first movie in seven years, but also their first full-length computer animated film. The story was inspired by the directors’ visits to the islands of the South Pacific as they gained many artistic and authentic ideas from the local folklore and culture of the islands. Clement states “Moana is now the most ambitious thing that John and I have ever attempted” and it has a very “emotional core.” The directors hope to do justice to the islands, through Moana, to show their “respect for

nature, respect for the ocean and the elements.” Moana will be Disney’s first Polynesian princess and the fifth official Disney princess that isn’t of European descent after Jasmine, Mulan, Pocahontas, and Tiana. Musker describes Moana as “indomitable, passionate and a dreamer with a unique connection to the ocean itself. [Moana] is the kind of character we all root for.” Despite Moana’s courageous message to children all over the world, Moana will also symbolize change for a brighter future as we continue to introduce a better understanding of diversity to the world. For decades, Disney princesses were white until the introduction of Jasmine in Aladdin (1992) and Mulan in Mulan (1998). Disney has also been criticized for Princess Tiana’s light skin color in The Princess and the Frog (2009). Many people of diverse backgrounds are already identifying with the new Disney princess as she represents a different heritage

and a different direction for the future of children as the world’s understanding of different cultures continues to grow. In fact, many parents welcome the new Polynesian princess as they want their children to gain more exposure to different cultures. Lyss Stern, CEO of divamoms.com, claims it is beneficial “to get away from that stereotypical Barbie doll, blond hair, blue eyed [princess]” and that Moana is “Polynesian and beautiful” and “will be a princess a lot of girls will look up to.” Besides encouraging more diversity, the plot of Moana will also inspire young girls to be independent and courageous. Although Frozen has had amazing success and its franchise continues to grow even as time goes on, many people are more than ready for a new Disney princess. Having a Polynesian princess will not only be good for Disney’s future, but also the future of young children.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3521164/ http://www.people.com/article/disney-princess-moana-aulii-cravalho http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/movies/new-disney-princess-moana-warm-reception-article-1.2389136

Vol. XXIX, Issue 2

julie

and

julia

By Fia Le

HOW FOOD BROUGHT TWO WOMEN TOGETHER

A scene from the movie.

Julia is a movie that revolves around food. The film is based on two true stories of women from different time periods. One of them, perhaps one of the most influential chefs, is Julia Child, and the other is a normal girl named Julie. The movie can be considered to be a biography about Julia Child’s early life. However, unlike any other biographical movie or book about Child, the story connects the two of them seamlessly through Julia’s cookbook. Julie is a young writer, but works at a call center, where she listens to complaints all day. She had recently moved into an apartment on top of a pizza shop in Brooklyn. Trying to keep up with all of her successful friends, Julie struggles through her mid-life crisis. It is then that she finds her love for cooking. Julie decides to learn how to cook properly through Child’s book to introduce a spark of joy in her life. Due to her tendency to leave things unfinished, Julie sets a goal of finishing the whole cookbook in a year. That’s how the blog named Julie & Julia was born, with the ultimate goal: 365 days, 524 recipes, and 1 tiny apartment kitchen. Julia Child is an infamous chef, known not only for her talents but also for what she has contributed to American food culture. The movie illustrates her early life, when she was just another American living in Paris. ulie and

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With a huge passion for food, she started taking classes at Le Cordon Bleu, a prestigious cooking school in Paris. Eventually, Julia and her friends worked together to write a French cookbook that targeted American housewives. Julia wanted to introduce authentic French cuisine to the American public. The book had a huge impact on the cooking world, and the fame of Julia Child took off. Similarities brought Julie and Julia together. As the movie progressed, it showed various situations where the two characters had to face their respective dilemmas. Instead of glorifying their lives, the movie kept it raw and showed their individual difficulties. Julia’s classmates and teachers looked down on her because she was an American housewife who could not do any real cooking. They thought that Julia was just looking for something to do in her spare time. She eventually showed everyone how talented and fearless she was. Throughout her life, Julia moved to so many different countries that she could not recall where home actually was. At the same time her pleas to increase publicity for her book was rejected many times, resulting in major disappointment on her part. Several times, the movie illustrated the sad hidden side: the couple could not have a baby; the husband was investigated; and all of her time and energy was wasted on her cookbook. It was

because of this that she regretted taking on cooking as a hobby, something that would take her mind off of things. But all these struggles seemed to have little effect on her. I think the most admirable attribute of Julia Child is more than just her talents, it is how she overcame her struggles by being a very positive and fearless woman. Julia believed in herself and kept working towards her dream despite all the obstacles that she encountered. Julie’s character had many issues as well; she was not happy with her life and job. It was only after her husband had encouraged her that she started her blog. Unexpectedly, however, the blog brought many troubles to her life, that not only threatened her job but also her marriage after her husband found out that Julie was losing her mind in this cooking marathon. Even when she received numerous proposals for interviews on her book, Julie received a phone call from Julia’s interview stating that Julia did not like her blog. The world had once again turned against her, but the only person that Julie wanted approval from was from her idol, Julia Child. For a whole year, Julie believed that Child was the one that helped her through her crisis. She had gotten herself too engaged in Julia’s life, that it had slowly started to become part of her life too. In an interview with a reporter, she expressed that she saw Child as her imaginary friend. In her spare time, she would shut herself down, cook, and write in her blog. Eventually Julie realized all the connections between her and Julia were made up in her mind. The real Julia Child was not the same as her fantasized Julia, and so, she stopped seeking validation from anyone but herself. As Julie embraced this mentality, she was able to finish her “insane” journey and get her own book published. No matter what, her love for cooking and Julia were still the same. For many young people, Julie’s character could resemble themselves; a young inspiring person with many dreams,

but somehow getting lost in the process. We would be stubborn to follow this new idea and selfish to focus all our efforts on the task, regardless of the effect it has on others. There would be ups and downs, and sometimes we would just want to call it off. But, after emerging from the turmoil we would all get our own stories and grow to be a better individual. Julie’s achievement at the end is an encouragement for anyone still looking for a sense of belonging. It is not easy to discover, but it brings great pleasure to those who do. In addition to the stories of the two characters, there were many parts of the movie that showcased Child’s most popular recipes, such as: Beef Bourguignon, Chocolate Almond Cake, and Duck en croute. Some of the skills and techniques used by Child were mentioned in the movie. There were not many close up shots of the dishes, but more emphasis was placed on on the preparation of the dishes, since its preparation was much more interesting than the final result. Julia prepared all the dishes flawlessly, while Julie struggled to prepare the duck for her Duck en croute. The preparation showed how cooking could not only be enjoyable and soothing, but also very scary. It was especially heartening to see all the people that the food drew together. There was a strong theme of French cuisine throughout the movie, showing how food could affect people. Julia decided to show her love towards her husband through food, as did Julie. They both referred to their husbands as: “the butter of my bread [and] the breath of my life.” This movie portrays how food can influence one’s life, how you can take cooking to the next level if you put in the time and effort to learn how to cook. Through the process of learning French cuisine, both ladies fell in love with the French culture and infused them into their own American lifestyles.

Julie and Julia from the movie.

Korean Drama Review/

Who Are You: School 2015 By Anna Lin

“W

ho Are You: School 2015” is a 16-episode Korean drama that is part of the ‘School’ series. Written by Kim Hyun-Jung and Kim MinJung, this drama stars Kim So-Hyun, who plays one of the two identical twins that grow up separately. The more fortunate twin, Go Eun-Byul, was adopted at a young age and lives happily with her mom in the city. She is the most popular girl at school and has a childhood best friend, portrayed by Nam Joo-Hyuk. The other twin, Lee Eun-Bi, grows up in a orphanage near the suburbs. Due to her kind nature, she is bullied at school by Kang So-Young and has no friends. Eun-Byul finds out about Eun-Bi’s existence early on and sends her gifts in her mom’s name. Their lives change when Eun-byul goes on a school trip to Eun-Bi’s hometown. Eun-Byul goes missing mysteriously while Eun-Bi loses her memory due to a suicide attempt and gets taken in by Eun-Byul’s mom, who believes that Eun-Bi is her daughter. Eun-Bi then lives her life as Eun-Byul. However, her peaceful life is interrupted when the bully transfers into her school and Eun-Bi has to deal with her. Kim So-Hyun as Lee Eun-Bi is bullied by her classmates.

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Far left to right: Yook Sung-Jae stars as the second lead, Kim So-Hyun as the main lead along with Nam Joo-Hyuk.

This drama portrays many issues that high school kids deal with in real life, such as: love, bullying, friendship, and the parent-child relationship. The fact that this drama focuses on the many issues that the characters experience allows the audience to see the stories of the side characters as well as the main ones. This makes the side characters less one-dimensional, as they usually are in other Korean dramas. Since there are so many different characters in this drama, it is easy for me to relate to some of them and therefore, it makes the drama more enjoyable. Even the bully seemed less unlikeable after her issues with her parents were shown. A refreshing aspect of the drama is that there were many new actors/ actresses who did an excellent job of filling their characters. This lineup included Yook Sung-Jae, who plays the second lead male, and Jo Soo-Hyang, who plays the bully. Although I was rooting for the main male lead, Nam JooHyuk because I’ve seen him in other dramas, Sung-Jae’s acting made me take his side towards the end. Soo-Hyang’s acting was also on point, since every time she came on screen, I wanted to punch her in the face. The talented Kim So-Hyun showcases the twin’s different personalities really well, whether it be Eun-Byul’s cool, tough indifferent personality or Eun-Bi’s kind and vulnerable one. I never once became confused about who she was playing on screen. Another thing that I really enjoyed about this drama was the song ‘Reset’ by Tiger JK. I felt that it fit the drama really well and made some of the scenes more emotional. The ending was unexpected but the writers wrapped up the drama nicely. Overall, the drama was satisfying and I would re-watch it.

Vol. XXIX, Issue 2

Being Chinese in a Korean Eboard By Derrick Jen

ello everyone!

The executive board of the Korean American Student Association.

My name’s Derrick and I am the Vice President of KASA. Something many of you may not know is that I’m actually Chinese. The first reaction I usually get when I tell people this is “What?!?! I thought you were Korean!” That’s something I hear fairly often. Whether it be looks, or the way I act, who knows? I’m still proud of the fact that I’m Chinese and I will never forget my roots. Now I’m sure people always wonder why not join CASU then? The answer is the people. Coming into college, I experimented with many of the ASU subgroups such as PAL, CASU, and KASA. I enjoyed spending time with each subgroup and they were all unique in their own way. For me, what separated KASA from everything else was that everyone made me feel like I was part of a family. People who I had just met would make me feel comfortable enough to joke around with them. It’s not often that you meet someone new, and then feel like you’ve known them for a while. This little thing made me want to stay and get more involved in KASA. When I was elected to be on eboard, I was prepared to step up and take on bigger responsibilities. Something I wasn’t prepared for was the fact that I would be the only Chinese person in the group. Even so, I still felt like I was part of a family. Sometimes, when we would discuss a matter such as food, everyone would start naming food in Korean and I would ask “Oh what’s dukbokki?” Then everyone would laugh and explain the popular dish to me. It was a great environment to be around and everyone was accommodating. I never felt like I didn’t belong there. I was glad to be a part of the eboard and learn more about a culture that was different from the ones that I have come to know. I’ve gained a wealth of knowledge about the Korean culture from my time on KASA eboard. Aside from the obvious things such as food and games, I’ve also discovered and adopted some Korean mannerisms. Little things such as bowing to elders or pouring liquor for older people are things that I’ve witnessed from the people around me. Korea’s strong foundation based on respect adds to my admiration of Korean culture. I’ve learned a vast amount of Korean words as well (though most of them about food or NSFW) and take the opportunity to use what I’ve learned whenever I get the chance. It’s an interesting experience to be exposed to a new language and culture, but it’s truly gratifying to surprise someone with the knowledge that I have obtained. As the current Vice President, I couldn’t be happier about where I am. My eboard is amazing, and our events are great. Sure, I’m a Chinese dude within a Korean organization, but I’ve never thought twice about being involved in KASA and I learn more about the Korean culture every day.

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AO CONSCIENCE Photo by Jason Cruz

Vol. XXIX, Issue 2

COMFORT ZONE By Dale Gao

It’s time to go home. Thundering grey clouds loom over me As forecasted by the weatherman. “A twenty five percent chance of precipitation,” he said. I like to play it safe. The handle of my umbrella, That I tightly grasped As the rain pitters and patters on top of it.

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Waikiki Beach, Hawaii Photo by Cat Cortes

Then, I decide to let go. Whether itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s grey or white or blue, I appreciate your colors. No longer shielded by black nylon taffeta. Walking, dancing or singing in the rain. Each droplet Glistening from the streetlamp at every corner, Cascading onto my skin and to the cement. Refreshing and cooling. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m home. Darn. My clothes are soaked, Drenched by the memorable droplets and puddles.

Vol. XXIX, Issue 2

Realities

By Eric Liang

There’s blood. Everywhere. I adjust my grip on the gun, but my palms are slick with sweat and won’t stop trembling. I clutch the gun tighter, that lone anchor to reality in this world where all I see is red, all I smell is the sharp burn of gunpowder, all I hear is my own ragged gasps for air. My mind is detached and dazed. I grope wildly for logic: whose blood? Whose gun? Where’s the shooter? Where am I? I don’t know. Panic is pressing in all around me, urging me to let it in. I don’t know why I’m fighting. There is no fighting. There is no order, only chaos. Just let go. Let go of your mind, of the gun, of reality, of everything and nothing. No. Focus. I suck in another shaky breath, adjust my grip again. Squint through the heavy veils of night and confusion and take stock of my surroundings. Put order to the chaos. Under the stink of blood and gun is a different mineral smell. Salt. I force my breathing to slow, hear the slow percussion of water and wind behind it. I glance up, look for the construction scaffolding, for the tall lampposts. They’re not there?—no, just shot out. This is definitely Pier 25. There are two women and a man lying on the planking. They have all been hit several times: lungs, stomach, heart, and head. I don’t bother checking for pulses. I can already see that the killer is a terrifyingly good shot. My hand steadies as I take long breaths in and out. Order in chaos. The gun is a familiar weight in my hand. It is my hand. It is my reality. I’m a good shot, too.

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The fight is still a red haze of memory, but there are no questions, now. I know that my left upper arm was grazed, is bleeding. I know that my Kevlar stopped two bullets that would have pierced my chest. I know that the older wound in my right side has opened again, is bleeding into the dressing. I know the badge in my wallet identifies me as a NYPD Detective, that the gun in my hand is a policeissue Glock 19. I know that one of the women was a plainclothes officer, the man her partner. I know their names. I know where the killer is going, and I know that I cannot afford to let him get there first. I know. I turn, break into a run, and break the silence of the moonless night with my pounding footsteps. I know he can break me. I head home. --There’s blood. Everywhere. I close my eyes, exhale. The needle is fire, and its touch dances on my skin as she stitches up the knife wound in my side. It is minutes, hours, years. Then finally she cuts the thread, wipes away the fresh blood, sterilizes and dresses the closed cut. As she slams the first-aid kit shut, she says words, but I do not hear them. Her mouth moves, but no sound reaches my ears. All I can do is look at her, at her hair, her face, her breasts, her hands. She is beautiful. She is also angry now, but the daze of pain makes it hard to focus. Her hand flashes out. I catch her wrist reflexively, easily, and squeeze those long, delicate fingers gently with mine. My fingers are so clumsy, so rough. Fingers that have ended lives, hang on to fingers that

save them. “No.” She jerks her hand away, but it is her voice that makes me look up. There are tears in her voice, and as I meet her gaze, I see their twins in her eyes. They are pure drops of frustration, of fury, of desperation, of hate. I reach out to wipe them away, but she knocks my hand aside, does it hard enough to shatter my heart. “No more! You do this every time, and I fall for it every time, like the sugar coating on a bitter pill. Every single fucking time, you give me another pill, and it’s the sugar again that makes me think, ‘It’s going to be a good pill this time. A pill that will fix things.” I hear her struggling for self-control, struggling to find the words that will stitch us up before her tears tear her apart. I say, “It never is. It never will be. You know.” “I know. It’s always another broken rib, fractured arm, collapsed lung, knife in your side, bullet in the arm, bullet in the leg, bullet bullet bullet!” The last is a scream, and she pauses to catch her breath, but it is a sob in disguise, not an inhalation, and my heart breaks again. “So just stop. Just stop. Don’t touch me, don’t do those little things that trick me, don’t give me any more sugar-coated pills. Because you’re poison. Not just to me, but to yourself, too. And I don’t--I don’t want you to--I don’t--I--” She trips over the words, the words that are in a full-out brawl with her tears to be the first ones to come out, and buries her face in her hands so that they emerge a frustrated, furious, desperate, hateful, and sobbing mess. But to me, every word is crystal clear. I pull on clean clothes before I go to pick up the gun on the table and buckle it into my belt holster.

I walk over to the door, pull my jacket off the hook, and open the door. All the while, she is crying. All the while, the pieces of my heart are smashed into powder, again and again. As I close the door behind me, I say those words that she hates so much, those words that I say every time, those words that neither of us really believe, but neither of us can do anything but hold on to each other for dear life. “I’m not going to die. Not today.” She replies with nothing but the sound of her tears. --There’s blood. Everywhere. The panic flares up again and threatens to consume me once more. But this time I am prepared, and I shove it aside, take hold of reality. Put order to the chaos. I close my eyes, open them again and take in my surroundings. And the world falls to pieces beneath my feet. I know the front door, and I know the unoccupied coat hook next to it from which I took my jacket. I know the living room table, clear now of any firstaid supplies. I know the bedroom, and from a glance through its open door, I know the closet from which I grabbed my shirt. I know the woman crumpled on the floor, and I know that I did not get here first. I kneel down over her, feel blindly for her wrist, her throat and her heart. I press my ear to her chest and look desperately for the life that she never promised to not give up. I find it. A ragged breath. A shallow, fluttering pulse. Just like that, all the shattered fragments of my world,

Vol. XXIX, Issue 2

the torn butterfly wings of my reality, suddenly fly back together. I have to find the wound. Stop the bleeding. Call an ambulance. Focus. I fumble for my phone and almost drop it. I drop it anyway, as the blaring sirens come into hearing distance a few streets away. Order to the chaos: someone must have called for help when they heard the gunshot. I struggle to my feet and rummage wildly for a roll of gauze in the supply cabinet. I dash back to her side, where I sink to my knees. I throw aside the gauze, pull out my gun, and as a red haze envelopes my vision, empty the magazine into her forehead. --It is dark in the car. Flashes of light come from streetlamps and the headlights of the odd passing vehicle as the police cruiser speeds through the streets, and in these brief moments of harsh illumination, all color is lost to contrast. The light does not discriminate between dark blue and dark red, and with each glance, the boundaries shift again. In one light, my clothes are clean, immaculate. In another, they are soaked through with blood. My gaze fixates on the silver handcuffs around my wrists. Even in the darkness between flashes, they reflect enough light to be seen as more than a vague outline: two small moons, glimmering faintly in the black night. My eyes see this, but none of it reaches my mind. My mind is a roiling storm of words, pictures, people and blood. All my logic, all my order, it is gone now. It feels good, to have let everything go. It means that all my thoughts are consumed in a crimson whirlwind. It means that I don’t have to understand. It means that I don’t have to remember. Some time later, the car slows. Stops. The policeman driving gets out and opens the door for me. The other officer in the car, sitting with me in

ASIAN OUTLOOK

the back, helps me out. Waiting for us in front of the precinct is a woman. Middle-aged, dressed for desk work, no wedding band. Utterly unremarkable, and my danger instinct stirs all the more for it. The woman exchanges a flurry of soft but urgent words with my escorts. She shows them some closely printed documents from the leather portfolio she carries, and one of them gestures for her to wait before jogging inside the precinct building. He emerges a few minutes later, nods at the woman and goes back inside. She comes to me with the remaining officer, who unlocks my handcuffs. “Hello,” says the woman. “Let’s go home.” I follow her into a black, unmarked, sedan and slide into the passenger seat. She drives efficiently, without rushing. At the first red light, she rummages in the glove compartment, pulls out an object wrapped in paper, and drops it in my lap. My fingers don’t need to unwrap it to know that it is a gun. “They took your service weapon, right?” says the woman. “This one is your second chance. Don’t get caught again.” My ears hear, but the things they relay mean nothing to me. The chaos has ripped everything away, leaving only numbness. Still, some small part of me still yearns for order, for logic. What happened there? It asks. Why didn’t you save her? Why you pick up the gun? Why did you pull the trigger? Why did you kill her? I have no answers. Ask for one. The words come out tonelessly. “Why did I kill her?” She glances at me through the corner of her eye, then back at the road. “That was your job. Are you feeling alright?” It feels as if my skull can’t contain the maelstrom of blood and fire that is my mind and the mass is

only whirling faster. No. Focus. “What do you mean, my job?” I demand. “I’m an NYPD officer! My job was to get the shooter, not finish off my wife!” She gives me another strange look. “You were the shooter, and she wasn’t your wife.” Without slowing, she pulls out her phone and calls someone on speed dial. “Hey. Yeah, I’ve got him. No, no red tape this time. But we’ve got a bit of a problem. It seems like the memory dissociation is breaking down in 002 as well. He thinks 001 was his wife. Yes. He’s functional, but confused. Hmm? I’ll bring him home as quickly as I can, and we’ll reattempt the memory implant with the new program. Yes. Okay, I’ll be back soon.” She hangs up and drives on. My crimson whirlwind has vanished without a trace. Only cold, ordered logic remains. “Who was I?” I ask. A few moments pass in silence before she responds. “Exactly who you think you are. NYPD detective for eight years. Married for two.” She pauses again. “Right now, our artificial memory procedure only works on subjects near brain death. You tried to kill yourself after your wife started divorce proceedings. Sedative overdose. She’s alive and kicking, by the way. Your real wife.” I stare at my hands. “Who did I kill tonight?” “The first test subject. 001. You are 002.” “It wasn’t my house, was it?” “No. It seems likely that your brain attempted to reconcile your orders with your old memories, and made you think that the house was familiar. Or maybe your old memories changed to accommodate the new. Or both. We don’t know much about this yet.” I pick up the gun. Start unwrapping the paper. “Why did she have to be killed?” “001? She got ideas like you’re getting right

now. She didn’t want to be what we made her, so she shot her handlers and ran off to try to ‘find herself’ or some nonsense. After that, we put some subconscious triggers for anything like that into every artificial memory we made. If you try to shoot me, your motor neurons will automatically stop functioning, and we’ll have to deal with resetting you. “As for 001, she didn’t understand that the new memory construction irreparably damages the old structure, like overwriting computer data. As you’ve experienced, there seems to be some surviving memory artifacts, but it is impossible for you to even remember everything you were, never mind go back to it. Try it.” I do. And suddenly, I can’t. Her face swims into my mind, but it is blurry, indistinct, out of focus. Pixelated. I grasp instead at her smell. The touch of her skin against mine. Her laughter, her habits, her speech patterns, her nervous tics. Our life together. Our wedding day, our arguments, our compromises, the moments when we touched each other’s souls. There is nothing to remember, nothing to access. Only a few fragments remain, a few bits of video that are all that is left of a corrupted file. Panic seizes me and crushes my chest in its iron grip. Not panic. Blood. A thick haze of red that clouds my vision, a crimson miasma that leaves nothing but screaming chaos whenever it touches the logic I have recovered, the order of what is left of my mind. It is the new me, I realize. With the sudden cold clarity of understanding, I brush it away. My old reality is gone. There is no running from this truth. I rest my new one against my forehead, accept it into me. As part of me. In the next instant, there is blood. Everywhere.

Vol. XXIX, Issue 2

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