Reflecting on Retirement

Reflecting on Retirement

As Mary Margaret Mallat prepares to retire, we look back at her many roles and long association with ASIJ.

Mary Margaret with her husband David Deck and their sons Andrew ’13 (left) and Michael ’10 (right)

PTA President, Chair of the Board of Directors, Admissions Director, Interim Director of Advancement, Assistant Director of Institutional Advancement and most importantly mother of Andrew Deck ’13 and Michael Deck ’10 — Mary Margaret Mallat has worn many hats at ASIJ over the past two decades. As she prepares to retire from ASIJ this summer, we reflect on her time at school and find out what’s next for this ASIJ icon.

What brought you to Japan?

We came in 1998 on a classic expat assignment. My husband, David Deck, is a corporate lawyer with a background in East Asian Studies. Japan was always on his horizon but the timing of the move for our family was a surprise. The law firm asked us to relocate from New York City to Tokyo for a short assignment — maybe three years at most. It was our second Tokyo assignment and my fourth time in Japan. However, this time was different, since we needed schools for Michael and Andrew. It’s the ASIJ community we found that is part of what has kept us here now for more than 20 years.

How did you feel the first day of school when your boys started at ASIJ?

Michael started in Grade 1 and Andrew started preschool at the Nursery-Kindergarten, when it was in Nakameguro. I remember the Grade 1 class lists that were posted outside the elementary school building on the first day and finding Michael’s name penciled in for Karen Yoder’s (FF ’83–89, ’96–99) class. What a wonderful teacher and one of the many fantastic teachers both boys would have throughout ASIJ. Michael’s first day was also my first visit to ASIJ’s Chofu campus. David had done the pre-visits and just knew ASIJ was right for our family. Thankfully ASIJ had space despite our late May application!

At the NK, Andrew was welcomed into the wonderful class of Tarzah Doyle-Archer (FF ’98–02) and I met other parents through drop-off and pick-up. It was insightful to attend the parent presentation on “The NK Way.” Student-directed learning is still a pillar of the ELC education today. For Andrew’s class of 2013, they had the good fortune of graduating with nine seniors who had all been at the ELC together. What a great run our entire family has enjoyed at ASIJ.

What is something you learned from each of your roles at school?

What an interesting question! If we go way back to PTA Bake Sale Chairperson, I learned the importance of local customs and preferences from other parents (bundle cookies in threes and fives and not fours!). As PTA President, I learned the importance of balancing the need for change, which parents often want done quickly, with the need for buy-in if the change is to last — and buy-in at school can take some time to build. As a Board Chair, I learned the importance of “holding the institution in trust” — to preserve and protect it for the future — and supporting its top leaders, primarily the Head of School. That partnership is nearly invisible to many within the school community, but essential to the success of the Head of School and the growth of the school. As the Director of Admissions, I experienced the intimacy of listening to parents talk about their children, and their hopes for their education, which all of us feel as parents. In the Advancement Office, I learned to celebrate community and develop answers to why families and alumni might give to the school, or donate their treasure as I like to say. The three elements of time, talent, and treasure were present in all the roles I had at ASIJ but varied in intensity with each job.

What was the best advice you received as Board Chair and who gave it to you?

The advice touched on how difficult it is to take your board hat off in the eyes of others. In daily conversations you may think you have your parent hat on, or your friend hat on, but you can’t predict how others are hearing your comments when you’re the Board Chair. Wearing those many hats at once can be challenging and forces you to consider your place as both a member of the community and a leader within it. Josh Reckord, a former ASIJ middle school teacher and consultant, who helped ASIJ adopt our best practices for good board governance, taught me so much that I’ve taken with me for every role I had at ASIJ.

What’s next?

I wish I knew! But I had the same feeling when I arrived in Tokyo in 1998: what would be next after leaving Old Greenwich, CT, where I had volunteered on the Old Greenwich School PTA? I couldn’t have imagined the vast experiences ASIJ would offer at that time, but looking ahead now I hope new schools or non-profit organizations may be in my future. We will remain in Tokyo as David continues his legal practice, and I am sure the ASIJ community will still be a source of inspiration and friendship. I am excited to see what the next chapter brings.