WE FLIPPED IT UP. A TWIST ON THE AVERAGE ISSUE
YTISREVINU ALLAW ALLAW EHT
naigelloc | 5102 YAM 7 | 32 EUSSI | 99 EMULOV
EDITOR’S LETTER, PUC EDITION
DAVID
I know what you are thinking: why does Ricky look so much worse this issue? Luckily for everyone’s corneas, I will only be in The Collegian once. My name is David O’Hair and I am the editor-in-chief of PUC’s newspaper, the Campus Chronicle. For a future issue, I stole Ricky’s writing talent and he was feeling charitable enough to let me scribble in here.
O’HAIR Editor-in-Chief,
The Campus Chronicle, PUC
However, I have a special affinity for WWU, considering I used to go here! For one quarter... one frigid quarter. It wasn’t the school that made me leave, it was the weather. So, PUC has two questions for you all. First off, are your nursing students
so unbearable that you have to send them to Portland? And how much of a tuition break do you receive if you get engaged by your junior year? Okay, just get those answers back to us soon. In all seriousness, PUC joins in my sentiments of expressing our immense respect for WWU, ASWWU, and The Collegian. I personally know how great the students and teachers are up there and I hope this is the first of many intercollegiate collaboration projects. I hope you all finish up your years successfully and failure-free! Quick shoutout to Patrick McGee and Elise Nicola — stay sweet.
-Editor-in-chief, The Campus Chronicle, PUC
Table of Contents | 2 News | 3 #thecollegian | 4 Week in Forecast | 5 Religion | 6
ASSISTANT EDITOR Karl Wallenkampf LAYOUT EDITOR Mindy Robinson HEAD COPY EDITOR Andrea Johnson PERSPECTIVE EDITOR Benjamin Ramey CONTENT EDITOR Carolyn Green
perspective
BACKPAGE & CREATIVE CURATOR Abigail Wissink
ADVERTISING MANAGER Shandra Cady
CULTURE WRITER River Davis
SCIENCE & TECH WRITER Daniel Hulse
FASHION WRITER Alyssa Hartwick
SPORTS WRITER & PROMOTION MANAGER Alex Wagner
FOOD WRITER Rachel Peterson HUMOR WRITER Lauren Lewis NEWS WRITERS Morgan Sanker Alexandra Buley Kari Gomez OFFICE MANAGER Mae Liongco
TRAVEL & LOCAL WRITER Shannon Pierce COPY EDITORS Tyler Jacobson Kayla Albrecht Rachel Blake DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Zachary Johnson
RELIGION WRITER Kenton Gonzalez
LAYOUT DESIGNERS Matthew Moran Ian Smith Chloe Putnam
opinion writer Alex Aamodt
ASWWU HEAD PHOTO EDITOR Erick Juarez
static.guim.co.uk
fanpop.com
10
thecoveteur.com
@ calebr2
04 context EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ricky Barbosa
Culture | 12 Humor | 13 Science | 14 Sports | 15 The Other Cheek | 16
Opinion | 7 Food | 8 Fashion | 9 Travel | 10 CW/CW | 11
15
life
If you are interested in contributing to The Collegian, speak with one of our illustrious staff members. The Collegian is enhanced by regularly incorporating a wide range of campus perspectives. Cover Credit: Photo - Vitaliy Krivoruk, Stuntman - Urijah Saenz The Collegian is the official publication of ASWWU. Its views and opinions are not necessarily the official stance of Walla Walla University or its administration, faculty, staff, or students. Questions, letters, and comments can be sent to aswwu.collegian@wallawalla.edu or richard.barbosa@ wallawalla.edu. This issue was completed at 10:56 P.M. on Wednesday, May 6, 2015. The Collegian | Volume 99, Issue 23 | 204 S. College Avenue, College Place, WA 99324 | collegian.wallawalla.edu For information about advertising, please contact Shandra Cady at aswwu.ads@wallawalla.edu.
d how much of a or year? Okay,
pressing gian. re
CONTEXT 03 NEWS
WWU RACES WASHINGTON STATE NEED GRANT THROUGH SPOKANE
CAROLYN
green
WWU students, faculty, and staff were well represented among the nearly 43,000 people who finished the race.
Content Editor Sunday marked the 39th annual Lilac Bloomsday Run in Spokane, Washington. The race covers 12 kilometers (7.45 miles) from downtown Spokane, through wooded two-lane roads, up the infamous Doomsday Hill, and back onto the riverfront in town. The 42,214 finishers marked the smallest race attendance since 2007, according to reporters from The Spokesman-Review. A wide range of participants ran and walked the 12-kilometer course in the bright morning sun. Lani Rutto from Kenya won the male bracket with a race time of 34:22 and a pace of 4.6 minutes/mile. Cynthia Limo, also from Kenya, took the women’s top time at 39:27 and a pace of 5.27 minutes/mile. Each winner received $7,000. Some of the most spirited runners got into costume for the run, with superhero capes and tutus, banana suits and Canadian flags. Others decorated their moisture-wicking tech tees with “Sweating for the Wedding” and “I thought you said ‘rum’.” The back of a small boy’s shirt said, “#11 it’s my birthday today” and friendly racers patted him on the shoulder and back as they ran by with a “Happy birthday, buddy!”
“Bloomsday is unique in the diversity of the people running it and the sheer magnitude of people, making it the largest road race in North America, and getting to be a part of that is pretty cool,” said Andrew Milne, senior international communications major. Homeowners along the route ate brunch in their front lawns as runners passed by on the street below. Well-wishers cheered to offer moral support and held motivational signs that said, “Ryan Gosling is waiting for you at the finish line” (he wasn’t) and “I’m wearing my lucky underwear too.” Junior Annie Fletcher, a pre-OT psychology major, said, “My favorite part of Bloomsday was running through the neighborhoods because of the creative ideas families incorporated to keep us motivated! They had mascots, funny posters, music… Some threw water on you as you ran by. And all the other racers were so friendly!” Spirits were high as runners crossed the finish line with hands in the air and the pride of a job well done on every face. Racers left the finish line in search of water, food, and an official Bloomsday Finisher shirt.
BROOKLYNN
larson Contributor
Definition: The State Need Grant (SNG) program provides need-based financial aid to income-eligible students pursuing postsecondary education. Eligible students have a household income that is less than 70% of the state’s median household income. By The Numbers: 76: (61.7% of eligible students and 4.02% of all WWU students): The number of students at Walla Walla University who currently receive State Need Grant funding.
47: (38.3% of eligible students and 2.4% of all WWU students): Students at Walla Walla University who currently qualify for State Need Grant funding, but receive no funding because the program does not have enough money.
32,000+: Students across Washington State who were eligible but unable to receive a State Need Grant due to lack of funding in 2013-2014.
$8,517: The maximum grant award for students attending a private four-year university or college.
25%: The percentage of the State Need Grant program funding that the Washington State Senate proposed be cut.
Call to Action: As you can see from the numbers above, the State Need Grant program is a vital source of financial aid for eligible students in Washington State, including Walla Walla University. Unfortunately, this year the Washington State Senate has proposed that the State Need Grant program’s funding be cut by 25%! According to Senator Mike Hewitt, the Washington State Senate plans to cut state tuition by 25%, and can therefore afford to cut SNG by 25%. What the senators have forgotten is that cutting state tuition does not affect private colleges and universities like Walla Walla University, Whitman College, and Gonzaga University. Therefore, SNG students at private colleges will not only miss out on a tuition cut, but also see their SNG financial assistance be cut up to $2,217 lower than the current amount! This week, the Washington State Legislature entered into a period known as the “special session.” This special session of the legislature allows the senators and representatives
more time to negotiate and agree on Washington State’s biennial budget. They hope to have a vote on the budget by May 15, and the session will end on May 27, so our time is limited. Let’s let the Washington State Legislature know that cutting the assistance to eligible students is not an option! As students of colleges who rely on the SNG, and as classmates of students who rely on the SNG to attend WWU, we must stand up and ask our senator to reconsider!
Ways to Take Action: 1. Call Senator Mike Hewitt (who represents Walla Walla County) at his office in Olympia: 360-786-7630 2. Email Senator Mike Hewitt at Mike.Hewitt@leg.wa.gov 3. Sample phone or email script: Honorable Senator Hewitt, Hello, my name is ___ and I attend Walla Walla University in the 16th legislative district. I would like Senator Hewitt to reconsider his support of the Senate’s cut to the Student Need Grant funding. Eligible students who attend private colleges and universities will see their funding cut dramatically without the benefit of the tuition cut that students at state schools enjoy. Please consider maintaining or increasing the funding for the State Need Grant program. Sincerely, __________
Our thoughts and prayers go out to the Whitman campus and to the friends and family of those affected. If you are concerned about yourself or a friend, please don’t hesitate to contact WWU Counseling Services at (509) 527-2147 or the Mental Health Crisis Line at (509) 524-2999.
CONTEXT
SNAPSHOTS /#thecollegian 04
Caleb Riston
Caleb Riston
thecollegian
Caleb Riston
Monica Culler
@elliot_fletcher
@andrea_mariet
@remmus93
@ calebr2
illo
old
@g
@mirandatowler
x
br2 ale
@c
Monica Culler
Mac Ford
Monica Culler
Mac Ford
CONTEXT
05 WEEK IN FORECAST
Week in
FORECAST 7 8 inlandoutlook.org
Caleb Riston
Mac Ford
THURSDAY 2
May 7
75°
InTents: John Wilson
7:00 P.M., Kretschmar Lawn
ASWWU Camping Trip Pre-Meeting 9:00 P.M., WEC 142 (Trip cost: $5)
10 bustedwallet.com
9
FRIDAY
SATURDAY 1
SUNDAY
May 9
May 8
2 78°
ASWWU Camping Trip Navy Medical Programs 10:00 A.M. – 2:00 P.M., Biology Department Lounge
78°
ASWWU Camping Trip
ASWWU Camping Trip
Bio, Chem, CABL Clubs Palouse Trip
Village Housing Waitlist Opens
Ultimate Frisbee
3:00 P.M., Sittner Field
2:00 P.M., Arrival at Palouse Falls. 5:00 P.M., Dinner and worship ($5 for non-club members)
InTents: Guillermo Francia & Jessica Suitsev
Evensong
6:30 P.M., Kretschmar Lawn
AGA Vespers
Church
MONDAY
13
May 11
2 78°
Anniversary of the establishment of Glacier National Park in Montana by the United States Congress in 1910.
TUESDAY 2
May 12
CommUnity
Trail of the Coeur d’Alenes May 9 ASWWU Casablanca Banquet May 16
wikimedia.org
Caleb Riston
thousandwonders.net
12 76°
Shoshon Tama-Sweet, 11:00 A.M., University Church
10:00 A.M.
UPCOMING EVENTS
7:30–8:30 P.M., University
8:00 P.M., University Church
11
May 10
2 81°
WEDNESDAY 2
May 13 78°
On this day in 1862, southern slave and ship pilot Robert Smalls escaped Charlestown harbor in the CSS Planter, delivering it to the Union blockade and thereby freeing himself, his crew, and their families. His action was one contribution to President Lincoln’s acceptance of African-American soldiers into the Union Army.* *http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Smalls
International Food Fair May 17
PERSPECTIVE RELIGION 06
THE CHURCH OF THRONES ABIGAIL
wissink Creative Curator
Now before you get all offended on me, hear me out. I like to consider myself as one who is not judgmental about ideas and lifestyles that are different from mine, and there are many people who enjoy the book series A Song of Ice and Fire and the show Game of Thrones very, very much. I believe that these folks belong to something that could be called the Church of Game of Thrones. Paul Tillich defines religion as “that which is of ultimate concern,” and there is a great number of people who hold Game of Thrones high above all else. 1 Many obsessions and cultural phenomena of today could be considered a religious experience, and I think that GoT has gained enough ground in the last few years to come together as an official church. For the sake of ease and familiarity, I’ll compare the GoT Church primarily to Christianity and its practices.2
Bible George R. R. Martin’s series A Song of Ice and Fire can be compared
to the Bible, because it is the primary text that holds precedence over other media and ideas about the story. Similar to films that tell Biblical stories (The Passion of the Christ and Noah, anyone?), A Song of Ice and Fire has a show that tells the stories of the series (and that usually butchers the original story line). A lot of GoT purists will fume over the inaccuracy of the show, and there are many readers who have studied the background of the series at a level comparable to those who study Biblical history.
Church Services While readers may hate on the show for not staying true to the books, the show is still watched by millions every week. Over 8 million people watched the first episode of season five of Game of Thrones on its premiere date, which is almost eight times the number of Seventh-day Adventists in the North American Division in 2014.3,4 The viewing of each new Game of Thrones episode is commonly performed in a
imgbuddy.com
group setting, wherein friends and fellow lovers of the series gather together to watch and discuss the series on a weekly basis. Sound familiar?
Conversion If you’ve ever met a die hard Game of Thrones fan, you’ve probably been inundated with all of the reasons why you should watch the show and/or read the books. There is a subculture that is focused on converting non-believers to join their group, which they consider to be superior or more worthwhile than other lifestyles. Ideas about and discussions of the series have created a subculture that is focused on converting non-believers. With this evidence, it is plain to see that GRRM should be working to create a new church of his followers. There is much evidence to show that they are already following many patterns of previous churches, including having members who get really, really angry at inconsequential things about the story or non-believers.
Then again, if Mr. Martin works on creating a church, it would become yet another distraction from actually finishing the series, ever.5 For reals. Look at these people: http://tinyurl. com/qe9vu6q 1
Side note before we begin: I in no way consider myself to be a theologian. I have no idea what I’m doing on this page. 2
3
http://tinyurl.com/l4ngw86
4
http://tinyurl.com/ntktf5l
And just for the record, I am in no way comparing the importance of George R.R. Martin’s writing to divinely inspired works. When Jesus says He’s coming back I actually believe Him; I’ve lost all faith in Martin and his ability `to finish a series. 5
imgbuddy.com
PERSPECTIVE
07 OPINION
ERIC
weber Contributor
It’s not the 90s anymore, we need to wake up. Kate Moss is old, Eminem is still homophobic, and . Martin works onMonica Lewinsky is in fact a good would become yetperson. It’s 2015. I think the U.S. has from actually fin-larger problems than Hilary Clinton, er.5 gay marriage, or Obamacare. We have a serious problem of looking at people as objects or labels. It’s people: http://tinyurl. kind of oppressive. There are many oppressive forces at work in our daily egin: I in no way con-lives. Underwear, the WWU internet ologian. I have no ideafilter, grades, socks with sandals, and age. chivalry.
To be honest, I feel oppressed right now. As I work in The Atlas making a dry cappuccino, I feel oppressed. , I am in no way comUnable to realize my full potential f George R.R. Martin’s as a barista, I am subjugated to dry, ed works. When Jesus uninteresting foam. If you want a actually believe Him; coffee to reach its full potential, the tin and his ability `to milk must be perfectly in the middle. Not too cold and not too hot; not too foamy and not too wet. I guess, when looking at the spectrum of milk, it would be fair to say that perfect latte milk lies smack dab in the middle of the two opposites.
w86
5l
It’s so easy to pick a characteristic and think you know someone. The easiest way, and sometimes the most apparent, is gender. In my opinion, I think chivalry is outdated and stems from a general lack of knowledge about how gender works. Let’s get with the program. If many of you don’t think gender is an issue in our society, I would posit that many of you don’t perceive a lot of things to be important issues and that’s a problem. Gender is just like salsa, on a spectrum. I consider myself to be a salsa that’s not too chunky, has some spice, and is great with kids. No one is just mild salsa or just hot salsa — there are too many ingredients and variations to only define it by a single
imgbuddy.com
CHIVALRY IS DEAD, AND FOR GOOD REASON
term. Are you chunky? Smooth? Green? Red? Cheesy? You get the picture. We’re all different kinds of salsa. You may be a creamy cheese salsa that enjoys rom-coms and roses. Or you could a jalapeño pico de gallo who loves guns and Mike Huckabee, in which case you’re not my cup of tea. But I’m sure someone out there loves you. Just the way you are. Gender is fluid, on an ever-changing spectrum of spicy tomato goodness. We’re more than just labels placed on us by society. We’re more than just a binary of two poorly-defined terms. Women are not, and never have been made of, fine china. Women are strong, powerful, and courageous. Men have not, and never will be, emotionless marble pillars. Men are gentle, sensitive, and emotive. Trying to accept one another while also requiring people to adhere to these definitions is hurtful and stunts our growth as a society. Furthermore, the construct of chivalry wreaks of misogyny and male privilege… that women by definition are meek and mild creatures… that they are the pinnacle of purity and must be catered to… that men are hardened animals and must take a moment from their brutishness to open doors and speak politely. Don’t let outdated cultural norms control you. If the labels placed on you by society are oppressive, fight against them! If the label “man,” “woman,” “boy,” “girl,” “straight,” “gay,” or whatever, makes
you angry or oppresses you, then you have every right to fight against it. You have every right to define yourself as you see fit. Chivalry is dead in 2015 and for good reason. The way we think about chivalry is based on gender, and I don’t think we should be “chivalrous” or kind based on gender — we should be kind because we are dealing with people. When we remove gender from the discussion it can’t be used as a crutch and we are able to show a full measure of kindness to those we meet. It is then that we are able to fully love someone. Once we recognize these cultural constructs for what they are, we can begin to break them down. We can begin to show love and be loved more deeply than ever before. We are complex, beautiful individuals being forced into outdated cultural constructs. When asked to describe yourself, what do you say? Do you start describing your gender and the stereotypes you fit into? Or do you describe your experiences — what makes you happy? Sad? When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you see a kaleidoscope of memories, feelings, aspirations? We are multifaceted and powerful. We are more than our labels. You deserve to be happy — don’t let anyone or anything tell you otherwise.
stepdadding.com
LIFE
FOOD 08
FINDING YOUR “GO-TO FOOD STOP” ALEX
wagner Sports Writer
I’m just going to say it and not hold anything back: I am a great cook. My specialty dishes range from grilled cheese and quesadillas to Bagel Bites and Lucky Charms. And while it obviously takes a lot of skill to prepare and master the art of making these fine dishes, I have decided not to include any of my secret recipes. Instead, I wanted to take this opportunity as guest writer for the food section this week, to share what I think can ultimately be equally as important as good food, and that’s a go-to food stop. We all have places we like to go, and having gone
to WWVA, my friends and I got to know the different eating locations around Walla Walla pretty well. There are a lot of great establishments in the Valley, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are all go-to food stops. So before I dive into this, having good food isn’t the ultimate factor in this decision process. I am going to break it down into three main criteria for finding a good food stop.
May 16 at 8:00 PM $30 per couple $20 per individual
COST
Someone in your food stop crew is going to have $5.16 cents in cash, exactly, or maybe that’s all they have left in their bank account. We’ve all been there. The point is, limited funds shouldn’t make someone miss out.
VARIETY
3 MAIN CRITERIA FOR FINDING A GOOD FOOD STOP:
Maybe everyone is in the mood for tacos; in fact, I always want tacos. However, in my experience, there are usually various wants and food desires that are voiced when trying to decide where to go. That’s why it is helpful to find a place that has a wide-ranging menu with several different types of food. Breakfast at non-breakfast hours is a huge plus and is worth bonus points.
Walla Walla County Fairgrounds Pavillion
HOURS
This might be the most important of all the criteria in finding a go-to food stop. It’s usually never a good idea to go and eat out pre-game. Now pre-game doesn’t just mean before sports games, it means before just about anything. Think about it — if you have any sort of event or activity you are planning on doing that evening, eating beforehand is only going to slow you down. Maybe there will be better quality, free food at your destination. Maybe that fettuccini alfredo will hit you like a load of bricks and literally impede your physical mobility. Besides, no matter what you do, everyone is going to be hungry afterwards. So, finding a location that can serve you and welcome your group into the building in the later evening hours is very important. 24 hours of open service is really best case scenario.
foodbeast.com
If you have been keeping track and mentally crossing off restaurants as they fail to meet criteria, the realization that Shari’s and Jack in the Box are the only places that haven’t fallen out of contention yet should be becoming clear now. I never thought this would happen, but Jack in the Box might be getting a shout out in The Collegian. For my friends and I, though it started off several years ago as an emergencies-only last resort, Jack in the Box has somehow become
our go-to food stop. We have spent many late nights at Jack, sitting around a table by the drive-thru window staring longingly into the eyes of whomever might be on the other side of that glass. I usually enjoy the combination of a vanilla shake and halfsie (half curly, half regular) fries, which is just enough to be satisfied and not enough to get sick. So, it works out. And while I’m not going to sit here writing and recommending that you go eat at
Jack in the Box per se, I am a firm believer in the value of getting together, and eating with friends. I do recommend enjoying each other’s conversation and company while consuming food at home, outside, or at a mediocre fast food joint. So maybe it isn’t all completely about the food stop, or really even the food, but the people and friends you enjoy it with!
Black and White Attire Drop off your reservation slips at Sittner, Foreman, the CAF, and the SAC
All proceeds go to To Build a Home
Ma y 31 2015
LIFE
Style Profile RACHEL
peterson Food Writer
“Most people shouldn’t care about what others think of their style. Don’t let society’s standards dictate how you live your life.”
09FASHION
This week’s style profile features,
Daniel Lincoln
whom you may recognize by his signature top hat.
interview RP: Why did you choose the particular outfit you are wearing today? DL: It’s really fancy. It is anime-
RP: What do you like to do for fun? Any hobbies? DL: Anime. Manga. Game design. I am currently designing my own game.
inspired. It is probably one of the most anime-inspired outfits I own and it combines my two favorite centuries. I have a great appreciation for the Napoleonic and Victorian eras.
RP: How would you define your sense of style? DL: Refined. Elegant. AWESOME. Animeinspired is where the awesomeness comes in.
RP: Where do you like to shop? DL: Anywhere and everywhere! Internet. Gentlemen’s Emporium. RP: Do you have a favorite fashion designer? DL: Not particularly. RP: Do you ever make your own clothes? DL: I have made bow ties and ascots.
RP: Do you have any advice for other students looking to improve their style? DL: Most people shouldn’t care about what others think of their style. For a long time I let other people’s opinions discourage me from dressing how I wanted to, but I finally came to the place where I could get past that and wear the clothes that I like. Don’t let society’s standards dictate how you live your life. RP: What are your favorite trends right now? DL: In Japan there is a trend called Visual Kei. It’s basically wearing 1800s clothing, but a little more extreme. RP: If you could raid anyone’s closet who would it be? DL: Gackt, a Japanese pop star, singer, and actor. He used to be in a band called Malice Mizer and probably still has a lot of clothes from that.
Freshman, Business/Pre-Law FROM: Walla Walla, Washington
PERSPECTIVE TRAVEL 10
SHANNON
pierce Travel Writer
For those of you who have not already studied Game of Thrones as intensely as we study for finals, the plot gets really complex really quickly, with a huge cast of characters based in a number of noble houses constantly warring with each other. It can be hard to keep track of it all, but you don’t need to know anything about [insert obscure reference here] to appreciate how beautiful everything in the Game of Thrones world is. Fortunately, you can visit these awesome lands in the real world.
Scotland The UK hosts many of the castle scenes from the early seasons of Game of Thrones.
worldadventuredivers.files.wordpress.com
Game of Thrones Travel The pilot and first season were filmed at Doune Castle in Scotland, an hour away from Glasgow. The second season features Castle Ward in Northern Island, south of the city of Belfast which is also featured heavily in the show. Shane’s Castle was also used for the tournament scenes in those seasons. Beyond the city, Northern Ireland’s rolling green plains and imposing seaside cliffs provide scenic views.
Croatia Some of the most splendid castle scenes in the Lannister capital of Westeros were filmed in Dubrovnik, Croatia. This town is a World Heritage Site situated on the country’s southern coast, right on the Adriatic Sea. The Lannister clan’s colour is red, and you’ll find all of the buildings in Dubrovnik has red-orange roofs and white-grey wall which accentuate the
blue sea water. The Croatians take pride in their sculptures, monasteries, churches, fountains, and museums, all of which give the city a regal, fantastical air. The nearby Minceta Tower, also in Dubrovnik is another UNESCO World Heritage site — in Game of Thrones it is the House of the Undying.
Morocco The Game of Thrones universe has more than just the regal European styles found in the Lannister and Stark kingdoms; in the south lie the Free Cities which show a completely new style given that they were filmed in Morocco. The real-life city of AitBen-Haddou was used to film the scenes in both Pentos and Yunkai, featured heavily in the third season. The city is constructed primarily in earthen clay, giving it a uniquely linear profile. Ait-Ben-Haddou is actu-
fanpop.com
ally a very popular filming site — The Mummy and Prince of Persia were also shot here. Astapor, the current residence of Daenerys Targaryen, was filmed in the city of Essaouira, a citadel on the sea that is also a UNESCO world heritage site. It certainly makes for a formidable fortress — Essaouira’s arabic name means “well-guarded” or “well-designed”. It used to link Morocco and the Sahara to Europe on the western coast. Here you can watch potters, wood carvers, and fishermen at their craft while sipping on Morocco’s finest coffee.
Frostfangs Mountains were filmed around the city of Höfdabrekka; perfect for a Song of Ice and Fire, Höfdabrekka is close to both the Katla volcano and the Mýrdalsjökull glacier. If you drive about an hour south of there, you’ll find the wilding camp filmed at Dimmuborgir — a lava field featuring striking rock formations and a lake. The northern part of The Wall was filmed at the Vatnajökull Glacier, in southeast Iceland. It is the largest glacier in Europe; it covers more than 8 percent of the country. While you’re there, make sure to explore their famous ice caves!
Iceland At the other end of the climate spectrum lies the snowy region of The Wall, shot in Iceland. If Jon Snow is on screen, it’s likely you’re actually watching Icelandic scenery. The
etoilefilantedor.com
sevennaturalwonders.org
PERSPECTIVE 11 CW/CW
Creative
Collegian
WRITING
WISDOM Mysterious radio signals baffling astronomers turn out to be from microwave.
Milestone DANIEL
hulse Science & Tech Writer
I do not do much creative writing. Or read books for fun. At all. Ever. That being said, as someone who appreciates creativity in all of its forms, I decided it would be a fun meaningful challenge to write a few things myself. Enjoy! Have meaning!
If you’d like to submit your poetry, prose, songs, or any kind of creative writing, email Abby at abigail.wissink@ wallawalla.edu
Galactic defrost on HIGH.
Mental note:
this time as precious
So there it is, I guess
four weeks left
about a year, a little more
I have my health
mental note:
the fear has dulled,
and my breath
three weeks left
but I’m still sore
newfound gifts of
every marker on the way a little death
a tragic rest. seeing all the wasted time but didn’t find out
since I first saw
until twenty years in.
/r/argumentswithstrangers Don’t think I don’t see you there
somehow makes Cheeto dust
We both know what this is
behind the screen — basement dweller
the full package
last person to reply wins, right?
“IQ 154” thinks he knows better than me. Your angry thesaurus words like sordid and plethora do not hide your neckbeard, odor or fedora Like just putting a fancy hat on like indiana or Frank Sinatra
tire me out with paragraphs Is this your job?
I lose — you comment last.
not your income (thanks mom) the thing you really want to do
I get the last laugh, though
gives you meaning?
I’m just passing through I have a life, a car, and a crew.
Priest in the church of Dawkins I come to confess my sins
It’s okay to touch it... apparently. Tourists climb statue of Hercules from 1700s to take selfie, break it.
I had a mind, Some time has passed
Austrian Vangardist magazine printed in HIV+ blood to promote awareness
Slayed Nemean lion, but no match for tourists. FL woman uses online pizza order to escape hostage situation I’d like that stuffed crust with olives and 911, please. 1580 IRS workers evaded taxes over a 10-year span
this is the one thing you do.
IRS needs its own IRS.
heal me father, let me be like Hitchens.
Man arrested after liking his own “wanted” poster on Facebook. While in jail, joins campaign for “Dislike” button.
LIFE
CULTURE 12
POWERHOUSE THEATER
CULTURE ENVY
upcoming events
theatlantic.com
kept the apartment they owned in Zurich, Switzerland that she grew up in. My family still owns it and I have had the privilege of spending quite a bit of time there growing up.
ALYSSA
hartwick Fashion Writer I’m not your typical cross-cultural kid. I didn’t grow up with a FOB family. I didn’t grow up speaking a language other than English. I was and am only a United States citizen. Yet, something in me has never truly felt solely American. My grandma was born in Germany and came over during WWII with her German father, Swiss mother, and twin brother. I had the privilege of knowing Lily, my Swiss great-grandma, until she passed away when I was 14-years-old — we were very close. Luckily, Lily’s father
the kaleidoscope
I’m from California, but as much as I love it, I always feel a longing for this other world I was exposed to at such a young age. This, plus my hopelessly romantic nature, made me notice a difference in everything — the buildings, the people, and the culture. I feel so much more freedom while in Zurich. Before I had my driver’s license back at home I was confined to the stereotypical American suburban life — clumps of track homes, no public transportation, and no beautiful public squares just a short walking distance away meant for a rendez-vous. When I’m at home, this stereotypical anti-social culture where people sit in their houses all day and drive alone in their cars just seems bizarre. I can’t help but feel a bit culture-bored. I crave
a life my new-world suburban town just doesn’t have to offer. As I have grown up, I have found that the U.S. isn’t really culture-less. I am not going to lie, I really did think so for awhile. I have discovered a love for the city of San Francisco and try to spend as much time there as I can. I have found culinary delights, beautiful fashion, and a bit of café culture. By coming to WWU, I have learned that it’s not the size of the town that makes for a cultural presence. Walla Walla has surprisingly satisfied my soul for the past two years. I love the historical buildings and the lively culinary scene. Walla Walla really has a lot of character. Since coming to this university, meeting people from all parts of the country and the world has made me realize that I am not the only one who has or is experiencing culture envy. The trick is to do little things to remind yourself of that place you truly long for.
Saturday, May 9 | 9:00 A.M. “Films of Today by the Filmmakers of Tomorrow”
Will West & The Friendly Strangers Thursday, May 14 | 7:30 P.M.
TELESCOPE
Check out Kwabena Sarkodee Adjepong, a British musician better known by his stage name Kwabs. His popular hit “Walk” has over New discoveries, 48 million views on Youtube. If far and near. Songs, you end up loving his style, I also books, and art, it’s recommend “Wrong or Right.” shared right here. Seriously, look him up — he’s on repeat in my car right now.
Spiffy Film Festival
“This Portland based band will take you on an acoustic roller coaster ride”
microscope Our regular culture writer, River Davis, features Kevin Ellis in his recently released single called “You Are Good to Me.” This song and the rest of River’s music can be found online at: https://riverdavis.bandcamp.com/. Support River and his great local talent.
Matt Baker’s Comedy + Stunt Show Saturday, May 16 | 7:30 P.M. “A unique combination of hilarious stand-up comedy and amazing physical stunts”
wikimedia.org
riverdavis.bandcamp.com
for more information visit: www.phtww.com
USE
LIFE
A PUBLIC APOLOGY LETTER. KENTON
gonzalez Religion Writer
It was “review”1 week, winter quarter 2012, and I was tired. I don’t mean “I’m falling asleep in class” tired, I’m talking the deep-in-your-bones tired that doesn’t let you fall asleep when you finally have some shut-eye. Being a wide-eyed, naïve freshman, I decided that a theology major, two minors, choir and I Cantori, two jobs, Honors, and extra-curricular activities was totally doable. Hint: it was not.
I decided that a theology major, two minors, choir and I Cantori, two jobs, Honors, and extracurricular activities was totally doable. Hint: it wasn’t. I had recently started dating my current girlfriend Kayla (now of 3+ years, thank you very much), and back then we had a tradition of eating breakfast together at the caf. We always sat at the same table on the right, closest to the Alaska room. I cannot stress this enough. We always ate at the SAME TABLE. So, my story begins on one fateful morning when, in my sleep-deprived state, I was walking towards breakfast
thecollegian
SNAPCHAT
and OUR USUAL TABLE, probably wondering how Ellen White ever survived life without drinking coffee. When I reached the caf, I saw the back of my girlfriend’s head at the table we ALWAYS SAT AT, wearing her favorite green hoodie and doing some homework on her laptop. Obligatory note: She doesn’t have a favorite green sweater. And the laptop was a Mac, which she also doesn’t own. This should have been my first warning. However, I am not a smart man, and instead of putting two-and-two together, my brain was still trying to process the fact that I was even out of bed. I knew I was hungry, but I also knew I loved my girlfriend, so like any good significant other I walked up behind her, hugged her from behind, and leaned over to get a kiss. I’m sure you all know where I’m going with this, so I don’t have to keep explaining right? … you’re going to make me finish the story, aren’t you? Fine. I leaned over to find that my girlfriend had lost all of her cute freckles, and her light brown hair had become black. In fact, it wasn’t my girlfriend at all! I stared in shock for a moment, my brain spinning wildly out of control, my lips still puckered and ready to go. I looked up and there, sitting one
table away, was Kayla, eyes-wide and mouth gaped open in shock.
I leaned over to find that my girlfriend had lost all of her cute freckles, and her light brown hair had become black. That’s when I blacked out. I didn’t actually faint, but the rest of the morning was a strange blur of people and faces and feeling really embarrassed. I’m told that I stood up, walked over to my actual girlfriend, and then sat with my head down for the next 45 minutes before I had to leave for class. But at least I didn’t start crying.2 Words don’t quite explain the sheer mortification that my fatigued state caused me, my girlfriend, and whomever it was that I tried to kiss. Let me digress for a moment. Heaven knows how many times I have apologized to my girlfriend, but there’s someone I never actually talked to, what with the mortification and all that, so here goes: Dear person I almost tried to kiss, I am so sorry. I literally have no idea who you are, but I’m crossing my fin-
13 HUMOR
gers and hoping that you graduated or really moved anywhere without the Collegian or the Internet or to Alaska and are currently living a happy, prosperous life with a defined lack of random strangers trying to kiss you. But in the (hopefully) rare event that you are still a student at WWU, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I hadn’t brushed my teeth yet because biscuits, gravy, and Colgate don’t mix. I’m sorry that I was close enough for you to even smell my morning breath. I’m sorry my hands were cold because winter quarter sucks. I’m sorry I hadn’t showered because I woke up late and had only gotten 3 hours of sleep. I’m sorry that I didn’t apologize to you, like any decent and regular man would have, when I realized that I was hugging the wrong girl. So here I am, three years later, apologizing to you in front of everyone. Sincerely, Kenton. Moral of the story: No moral. Only pain. We all know it’s DEAD week. No amount of rebranding or changing names will make it easier to bear. 1
2
I did.
LIFE
SCIENCE 14
LAUREN
lewis Humor Writer
Hello regular Science and Technology Readers, My name is Lauren and I usually write the humor page. I am a history major and the last science and/or technology class I took was Contemporary Biology from Mr. Jonathan Cowles, which was amazing. He had a joke of the day, every day! As you read this, I need you to know that I do know some things about things but most of those things gravitate towards names and dates of Grecians, presidents, wars, and battles— NOT science or technology. So instead of reaching for one of my favorite books, What If: Serious Questions to Absurd Hypothetical Questions by Randall Munroe, creator of xkcd, and plagiarizing something awesome like, “How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live?” (p. 179). I will leave science to the captains of the industry like Mr. Daniel Hulse, Randall Munroe, or the Cowles men. Instead, we will be exploring the vocabulary of science, technology and the awesome words that you may or may not know that sound funny or dirty. Enjoy! Love, The History Major Who Knows How To Google Things Well
thegraphicsfairy.com
WEIRD WORDS FOR ALL
Angiosperm: a seed plant that produces flowers. Haha, sperm.
Angina: Chest pain caused by reduced blood flow to the heart.
Formication: medical term for Cambium: a layer in plants that the sensation that small insects are separates the xylem from the crawling over your skin. Don’t do phloem. Haha, bum. meth kids. Fukaline: a mineral composed of mostly calcium, silicon and oxygen. This is not a bad word. Cummingtonite: a brownish metamorphic amphibole with a chemical composition of magnesium iron silicate hydroxide. Named after Cummington, MA. This is real. Google it if you don’t believe me.
Turdus Maximus: A Tibetan blackbird found in the Himalayas of the Turdidae thrush family. Ornothology students should know this! Schist: a common metamorphic rock. Also not a curse word, but according to my history classes it is.
Piloerection: when your hair stands on end. Get your mind out of the gutter, it is science!
Stimulated Emission: The process of a photon interacting with an atom’s electron and causes a lower energy level, then releasing energy in the form of another photon.
Mastication: the scientific term for chewing. Don’t get this word mixed up with another. Awks.
Orogeny: the forces and events that lead to a large structural deformation of the Earth’s
lithosphere. This isn’t what the Romans did. Arsole: an arsenic-based organic compound. Gastrocnemius: a fancy word for your calf muscles. Haboobs: giant wall of dust created from high winds out of a collapsing thunderstorm. Dongle: a small piece of hardware that attaches to a computer, TV, or other electronic device. Multivibrator: an electronic circuit used to implement a variety of simple two-state systems such as oscillators, timers and flip-flops. Galactic Bulge: a center of a galaxy made of older stars.
LIFE
15 SPORTS
static.guim.co.uk
dreamstime.com
thatbaseballblog.com
BAD TASTES AND GOOD ATHLETES ALEX
aamodt Opinion Writer A few days back I ran out of the good, Italian coffee I had been enjoying for several weeks and went to the local market to look for some more. The options were underwhelming: Illy and some random Spanish brands I had never heard of. I needed something, so I grabbed a little red package from the bottom shelf. I should have been more cautious. It was suspiciously cheap but I didn’t really bother to read the label. There’s no way it could be bad enough to not be a good deal at this price. Back in my room I opened the bag up. Usually, opening fresh coffee is the closest I’ll get to a transcendental experience in an otherwise average day, that is, until I ran into this little red devil bag. The contents didn’t smell like coffee but I couldn’t pinpoint what exactly I was smelling. It was too late to turn back so I threw some in my Moka pot. The smell got
stronger. I tasted what came bubbling out and almost choked. What is this? I thought as I poured the cup down the drain as quickly as possible, leaving a brown, oily stain on the white porcelain. My friend Chad came wandering by. “What is that smell?” he remarked as he walked through the door. “I bet you won’t drink the whole pot of this new coffee I bought.” He accepted, poor guy. “This tastes like chewing on a telephone pole,” he gasped, after a couple of sips. I took a closer look at the package. “What does this Spanish word mean?” We had to look it up as “chicory” doesn’t actually come up that often in the everyday lexicon. Chicory. Who thought that would taste good? “I think chewing on tree bark would taste better,” Chad said as he poured a second cup. “It’s even worse hot! What do they do with this stuff? Use it to kill slugs?” True to his word, he finished the pot, reporting, “I don’t feel very good.” I was still grimacing from the flavor of that motor oil. However, it’s not only bad coffee that’s left a bad taste stuck in my mouth. There are a lot of things I really should be writing
about, considering the Kentucky Derby, Game 7 of the Spurs–Rockets series with the potential end to the Tim Duncan era, and Mayweather– Pacquiao’s supposed “fight of the century” all went down in the space of a day this weekend. But I’ve been stuck here on a Mediterranean island without internet and only Spanish TV channels for the last few days (I know, tough life). Recently, when I turned on the TV, I found a Spanish league basketball game, some random team I’ve never heard of playing Real Madrid. When was the last time I thought about Rudy Fernandez? I might have forgotten about Rudy but there’s been another, slightly more famous player from the other Real who I haven’t been able to avoid. A couple weeks back I was in a room watching the Real Madrid– Atletico Champions League quarterfinal rematch with a bunch of screaming Spaniards. The game ended in an all too predictable and familiar fashion as Ronaldo ran across the pitch, screaming and smiling with a disgustingly smug look after his admittedly fine assist set up the game winning goal, his perfectly cemented hair unmoving in the breeze. I’ve seen that face before. I think it’s that face that won’t let me like Real Madrid, no matter how much I might appreciate their technical excellence.
I’ve seen that face thousands of miles and an ocean away. This past week an important, historic baseball milestone was reached. Alex Rodriguez finally hit home run 660, tying Willie Mays at 4th on the vaunted all-time list. This inevitable moment was a long time coming, delayed by steroid suspensions, disintegrating hips, and maybe Madonna. I grew up idolizing Willie, reading the “Say Hey Kid’s” autobiography and picturing impossible throws from the warning track and huge hits from the batter’s box. He was the best; he will always be a legend. And now his record’s been caught by one of the most hated players in recent memory. I remember A-Rod’s celebratory smirk after launching yet another home run and his faux surprise when the umpires called him back after he slapped the ball out of Bronson Arroyo’s glove in the 2004 ALCS. It was so infuriating because he is undeniably talented yet still so unlikeable, a villain so close to being a hero. It’s almost certainly unfair for me to dislike Ronaldo because he reminds me of A-Rod. I shouldn’t judge a person by the faces they make while running across a TV screen. I also can’t help it. I really should just sit back and appreciate how he contributes to one of the best rivalries in sports.
Asking Spaniards about whether Real Madrid or Barcelona is the better team will more often than not result in an argument and maybe a shouting match. It’s magnificent, like a distilled version of the Yankees– Red Sox rivalry. This passion is what makes sports great. But at the same time I imagine Ronaldo being the sort of person to emulate A-Rod by hanging a self-portrait as a centaur on his bedroom wall.1 Ronaldo is still in his prime and his career hasn’t been sullied by performance enhancing drugs and blatant lies to his fans. I shouldn’t be so disgusted as he hoists another Ballon d’Or above his head while I only see an image-obsessed whiner instead of one of the best athletes in the world. I should appreciate watching him systematically carve up opposing defenses in the way I maybe should give some begrudging respect to A-Rod’s emergence as some strange type of antihero defying public persecution and the odds. But I think I’d rather go pour myself a piping cup of chicory slug killer and call it a day. I think it will leave a better taste in my mouth. A story that’s still amazingly perfect: http:// www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/ ex-alex-rodriguez-had-portraits-of-himselfas-a-centaur-over-his-bed-20093010 1
Other Cheek
the
THE DIAPER ACTIVIST A funny thing happened the other day.
RIVER
davis Culture Writer
her, because and a little
“Oh, really? What do you do?”
There I stood, bundled up in the stiff breeze standing on the dirty, gum-stained train station platform waiting for the Portland MAX transit train. Finally, the train pulled into the station with a ruckus of clicks, screeches and rattles. The doors opened automatically, revealing a wide demographic of homeless people to businessmen in suits and everyone in between. I shuffled into the crowded train car and found a single seat next to a middle-aged man in a long trench coat and a bowler’s hat, guarding a plastic bag full of pop cans between his legs. “Hi, there,” I timidly said to the man as I settled into my seat. He peered up from underneath his hat. “Why, hello.” His round glasses balanced on a long nose spotted with freckles and signs of street life.
el Lagabon
“What’s in the bag?” I asked.
VERBATIM
“
“I would be a great teacher if it weren’t for all you students.” - Paul Dybdahl
“
“Cans. I’m headed home from work.”
He gave a long sniff and shuffled the bag between his knees. “I’m an activist, in a sense. And you know what really gets me?” His eyes narrowed into slits. “The diaper industry.” I nodded my head and tried to keep a straight face. “The diaper industry, huh?” “Yeah, the diaper industry. Have you seen today’s diapers? They are at least a quarter inch thinner than they used to be. We are getting ripped off!” His voice carried a passionate edge as he dug into his coat to pull out a phone with a broken screen. “Check this out,” he mumbled as he pulled up a grainy picture of a child in a diaper. “See here? This is a diaper from the 1980s. Look how thick it is! Nowadays, our diapers are way thinner, and made from cheaper plastic, but they are selling them for the same price! We can’t let the people be blind to their corruption!” I shifted in my seat. After processing this gentleman’s
dilemma, I decided to go along with it. “So, what is your plan of action?” “Spread the word. Let the people know the truth. Let them know how their diapers aren’t as absorbent as they could be. Uncover the lies of the industry!” Little drops of spit shot from his mouth as he plotted his revolution. “Um, I will! I will tell the people about the diaper revolution.” I peered out the rain-spattered window of the train, hoping for our stop to come. Finally, a voice over the speakers announced our station. The doors opened, and I politely said goodbye to my new friend. As the doors closed behind me, I heard a voice shout from inside the train: “Don’t forget to spread the word!” So, folks, the moral of the story is that if you think you’ve heard it all, spend about 10 minutes in Portland and see what happens. Thanks for visiting “The Other Cheek,” it was nice to meet you!
A STUDY OF THINGS THAT ARE COOL AND UNCOOL
COURTESY OF COOLNESSGRAPHED.COM
“That’s all we need in life. More passion and more tongue.” - Sam Mattson
“Sorry, are my thighs distracting you?” - Brooklynn Larson
“He’s not a man of God, he’s a security officer!” - Daniel Jenks
If you hear something funny, cringe-worthy, or hilarious when heard out of context, send the quote to Abby! abigail.wissink@wallawalla.edu
HaikuREVIEW
Thanks for playing last week, friends! Congratulations to Julian Weller for being the first one to answer last week’s Haiku Review correctly! The correct answer was The Pioneer.