Volume 99, Issue 13

HUMOR | 09

10

THE WALLA WALLA UNIVERSITY

collegian VOLUME 99 | ISSUE 13 | 29 JANUARY 2015 |

SCIENCE | 14

THE MENTAL FOG

RICKY

BARBOSA Editor-in-Chief

But at the same time, fog brings a certain peace. The silence that comes with a thick fog can only be compared to the silence after a first snow. It makes you feel alone in the most positive way.

Unfortunately, this weather is often accompanied by a mental and spiritual fog. The dim light and the calm tell our biological side to hit the snooze button, and to keep hitting it until the daffodils begin to bloom.

02 context EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ricky Barbosa ASSISTANT EDITOR Karl Wallenkampf LAYOUT EDITOR Mindy Robinson HEAD COPY EDITOR Andrea Johnson PERSPECTIVE EDITOR Alex Lemnah CONTENT EDITOR Carolyn Green

06 perspective BACKPAGE & CREATIVE CURATOR Abigail Wissink

SCIENCE & TECH WRITER Daniel Hulse

CULTURE WRITER River Davis

SPORTS WRITER & PROMOTION MANAGER Alex Wagner

FASHION WRITER Alyssa Hartwick FOOD WRITER Rachel Peterson HUMOR WRITER & OFFICE MANAGER Lauren Lewis NEWS WRITERS Savannah Kisling Morgan Sanker Alexandra Buley RELIGION WRITERS Benjamin Ramey Randy Folkenberg

ADVERTISING MANAGER Shandra Cady

Let me make the case that this time should be seized. When everyone else is flirting with hibernation, you can take advantage of every minute. It may not be prime time to go cliff jumping or work on your tan, but there are other aspects of your character and your mind that need equal attention.

Journal, pray, write, and meditate on the good things in life and the people that fill it.

Find peace instead of frustration in the fog, and this season can be one where you grow with God and on your own.

Religion | 7 #thecollegian & Travel | 8 Humor | 9 Culture | 10 Fashion | 11 Food | 12 ytimg.com

techweekeurope.co.uk

Editor’s Letter & Table of Contents | 2 News | 3,4 Week in Forecast | 5

By Heart | 6

Springtime is reserved for filling the lungs with fresh air and the heart with possibilities.

TRAVEL & LOCAL WRITER Shannon Pierce COPY EDITORS Tyler Jacobson Kayla Albrecht Rachel Blake DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Zachary Johnson LAYOUT DESIGNERS Matthew Moran Ian Smith Chloe Putnam Emily Brinley ASWWU HEAD PHOTO EDITOR Erick Juarez

internationalhero.co.uk

The last time I mentioned the weather in my editor’s letter, the sun broke through the clouds and made my winter metaphors seem pretty silly. I think that I can safely assume, though, that the fog will be around for a while. I have a complicated relationship with fog. It brings with it the obvious blanket of damp cold. It’s suffocating in a way only fog can be.

CW & CW | 13 Science | 14 Sports | 15 The Other Cheek | 16

08 life

If you are interested in contributing to The Collegian, speak with one of our illustrious staff members. The Collegian is enhanced by regularly incorporating a wide range of campus perspectives.

Cover Credit: Feature Image - yting.com Photos - iternationalhero.co.uk, mmjevents.com The Collegian is the official publication of ASWWU. Its views and opinions are not necessarily the official stance of Walla Walla University or its administration, faculty, staff, or students. Questions, letters, and comments can be sent to aswwu.collegian@wallawalla.edu or richard.barbosa@ wallawalla.edu. This issue was completed at 10:35 P.M. on Wednesday, January 28, 2015.

The Collegian | Volume 99, Issue 13 | 204 S. College Avenue, College Place, WA 99324 | collegian.wallawalla.edu For information about advertising, please contact Shandra Cady at aswwu.ads@wallawalla.edu.

CONTEXT 03 NEWS

WORDS FROM ASWWU LEADERS TOO MUCH MARIJUANA SAVANNAH

kisling

ASWWU elections will be held during CommUnity on February 24th. Every year, the student body elects a new group of students to represent Walla Walla University. In the words of ASWWU’s current leaders, this is what it means to be leaders of WWU.

News Writer

IN WASHINGTON ALEXANDRA

buley

News Writer Timmy Barbosa ASWWU President

Kelly Torres Social Vice President

When I decided to run for president, I was not aware of how many different arenas I would be involved in. Aside from the obvious administration and organization of the business that is ASWWU, I began representing student perspectives on numerous University and NAD committees.

As responsibility increased and we hired different department heads, I discovered that every department and unique service that ASWWU provides is a miniature organization.

I felt responsible for providing a unified direction and vision for the organization for the [school] year as well as primarily serving as support for departments and services that reach out to our students every day.

I will never forget my first month assembling the team that currently is leading out in ASWWU. I have grown more professionally, personally, and responsibly in the last year than I could have ever imagined. It’s the greatest opportunity I have ever seized and I would encourage anyone to pursue roles of leadership, wherever possible.

Before being Social VP I thought the job was more geared towards planning events, brainstorming great ideas and putting them into motion.

While this is part of the job, being Social VP is more managerial than I had anticipated, but it’s something that I’ve come to really appreciate and love! Although the job is pretty time consuming, it’s also a lot of fun and there’s always an exciting event to look forward to. The greatest thing about being Social VP is having the privilege of working with an amazing group of people that make up both ASWWU administration and the social team.

They’re all so energetic and, most importantly, passionate about making sure WWU students have the best college experience possible.

Atem Malak Executive Vice President I knew it was going to be more work than just being a senator. Now there is some stuff that I have to do before each senate session and there are some unexpected emergencies but overall, the job is not too busy except for the ASWWU (Senate and Executive) elections period.

Austin Roberts Spiritual Vice President I knew running for Spiritual VP would be a task. I knew I would enjoy it, I knew it would be fun, I knew it would hard. However, I never imagined to what extent this combination would be true. Being in this position has helped me grow as a person and an administrator. Some of the tasks are not easy and some of the tasks are not fun, but the people really make the job. I cannot overstate the importance of having a good attitude, working hard, and trusting your colleagues. Spiritual VP includes planning Winter Week of Worship,

the Spring Quarter Concert, along with other smaller events. Not only are these events fun, but they bring a sense of fulfillment and accomplishments when they are brought to fruition.

Licensed marijuana growers and retailers are struggling to make a profit due to a surplus in product, high taxes, and competition with unlicensed medical dispensaries and black market dealers.

Frank Ramirez Marketing Vice President

Major issues have arisen since the first recreational marijuana stores in Washington opened in July, resulting is an imbalance between the number of licensed stores and the number of growers. Washington has licensed about 320 marijuana growers, but only 99 licensed stores are open for business. Meanwhile, an estimated 31,000 pounds of marijuana have already been harvested this year, but licensed stores have sold only one fifth of the crop.

When I first got the position I was not aware of how many responsibilities the Marketing VP had, these being attending weekly ASWWU cabinet meetings, meetings with my Marketing team, and meetings with University personnel. I also supervise the Webteam, the printed Mask, and the printed Mt. Ash. I have daily tasks such as meeting certain deadlines with posters and announcements. I put myself in the position of the people that I hire, which means I also help make posters, send out announcements, and perform other tasks so I know my workers’ responsibilities. It is busier than I imagined, especially since the department is expanding, taking on new tasks, and keeping up with changing markets. The ASWWU offices have become my new home.

Despite the stress and long hours of work, I truly love this job. I get to work with amazing people who are equally smart and creative.

An example of this loss can be found in the experience of Andrew Seitz, general manager at Dutch Brothers Farms in Seattle, who reportedly sold his first crop at around $21 per gram.

Now Seitz estimates his crop will sell for around $4 per gram.

Regarding the tax on recreational marijuana, Washington states currently operates under a three-tier tax system. This means that marijuana is taxed at each level — production, processing, and retail — by 25%.

Store owners also face a tax issue regarding a federal tax code called 208E, which inhibits businesses from taking deductions if they sell controlled substances. This means that stores cannot write off business expenses, which includes the excise tax they are required to pay the state.

Two bills introduced last week however, aim to remedy the issues of the surplus and the high tax rate.

The first bill, the Comprehensive Marijuana Act authored by Sen. Jeanne Kohl-Welles (D-Seattle), aims to unify the recreational and medical marijuana industries into one industry regulated by the state. KohlWelles intends to get rid of medical marijuana dispensaries while ensuring that the Washington Liquor Control Board licenses more marijuana outlets based on factors including expertise and the medical grade of their product.

Not only will the bill provide patients with the care and access they need, but it may also solve the problem of the marijuana surplus.

The second bill, endorsed by Sens.

Brian Hatfield (D-Raymond) and Ann Rivers (R-La Center), focuses on the issue of the tax rate. The bill intends to replace the current three-tier tax with a single tax on marijuana. The tax would initially fall to around 37%, by July 2017 it would be 30%, and by 2019 it would be 25%. The single tax aims to help businesses that are just barely breaking even in the pot business and struggling with competition from dispensaries and black market dealers that do not pay taxes. This bill however does not alleviate the issue of the 208E tax code.

The deadline for declaration of candidacy of an ASWWU cabinet position is next Monday, February 2nd.

Applications are available in the ASWWU offices located in Kellogg Hall.

becuo.com

CONTEXT NEWS 04

WHY BILL GATES WANTS YOUR MONEY MORGAN

sanker News Writer On January 21st, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation released their annual letter outlining the foundation’s goals for the next 15 years. The Gates Foundation aims to improve life in impoverished countries around the world. They will target improvement of four specific areas: health, farming, banking, and education.

The Gates Foundation predicts a reduction in the rate of child deaths and the eradication several diseases within the next 15 years. Currently, 1% of children in rich countries die before

the age of 5; a number far eclipsed by the 10% of children in poor countries.

Improper breastfeeding techniques, inadequate vaccinations, and incorrect umbilical cord care are just a few of the factors of the sizable infant death rate.

The Gates Foundation plans to reduce the worldwide rate of infant deaths to 2.3% by improving sanitation practices “through simple actions like hand-washing as well as innovations like new toilets designed especially for poor places.” Improving the healthcare systems of underprivileged countries will “will mean millions of people alive and thriving who would have died.”

These practices will save children’s lives and also aid in the eradication of major diseases from the planet.

The Gates foundation also hopes to eradicate polio, Guinea worm, elephantiasis, river blindness, and blinding trachoma by 2030, and they are working to conquer HIV. In addition to improving health,

the Gates Foundation aims to improve the means of food production in Africa. Though it is the poorest continent on the planet, Africa spends about 50 billion dollars a year importing food from other countries.

The Gates Foundation hopes to change this, stating, “the average maize yield in Africa is about 30 bushels an acre… [while] in the United States, it’s more than five times that.” The Gates Foundation also believes cell phones will aid in the improvement of African agriculture. Giving cell phones to these farmers may grant larger crop yields by providing access to important information such as weather and proper farming techniques. Cell phones also provide farmers easy access to banking. The African economy and culture will thrive if great strides are taken toward agricultural self-reliance.

Improving agriculture will save the bodies of the poor; accessible

education will grow the minds of the impoverished. Not limited to international work, the Gates Foundation aims to bridge the gap between poverty and education in America: “Our foundation gives more money to education than to any other cause in the United States because it’s the best lever we’ve seen for giving every child in America a chance to make the most of their lives.” Education must be supplied to the impoverished “especially in places where growth is creating demand for educated workers,” with access to online education with top notch professors and programs from around the globe.

The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has big plans for the future. But one very important piece must also fall into place: people.

“Student Missions is a benchmark program at Walla Walla University,” stated Jeanne Voires, WWU’s former

student missions director.

“Our students are dedicated to serving God and are responsible to follow God as they serve others around the world.”

Student missionaries return to the WWU campus “with extraordinary leadership skills, clearer goals and more committed lives,” Voires continued. The Gates Foundation hopes to “expand the circle of compassion,” just as our student missionaries have all over the world.

As Voires explains, “Miracles happen as the student partners with God.” If you can help, do. Campus Ministries, Student Missions, and ASWWU’s To Build a Home project can all connect you to local and global service. For more information on the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation and how to join their cause, visit www.gatesnotes. com/2015-annual-letter.

Senate THAI CUISINE

10% off 1 entree

with valid student id

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Phad Thai or

NEW BUSINESS: - Delegates for Adventist Intercollegiate Association - Frank Ramirez for Election Board - Tyler Hissong for Tread Shed Technician

Thai Noodle Soup tuesday

not valid with any other offer HOURS: sunday-thursday: 11am-9pm friday: 11am-10pm saturday: 12 noon - 10pm

UPDATE

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dine-in, take-out, or delivery

OLD BUSINESS: - Concurrent Position for Matthew Moran - Corbin Clark for ASWWU Outdoors Instructor

CONTEXT

05 WEEK IN FORECAST

Week in

THURSDAY

January 29

3 45°

Informational meeting for Thailand Mission and Cultural Trip: ADM 308, 5:00 P.M.

Gadfly

31

1

anything elegant

FRIDAY

January 30

246°

Vespers: Ps. 46:10, Walla Walla University Church, 7:00 P.M.

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged):

Julian Weller

wordpress.com

Mac Ford

Mac Ford

FORECAST 29 30

SATURDAY 3

January 31 46°

Want your work published?

The Gadfly, WWU's arts journal, February 1

SUNDAY

is accepting submissions until 43° original February 1st. Send your artwork, stories, photographs, etc. along with a short bio to gadfly@wallawalla.edu

w

Gadfly Submissions due to gadfly@wallawalla.edu

Biology Club & CABL Sledding:

Andes Prairie, 1:30P.M. Non-member dinner: $5

Evensong:

Village Hall, 7:30 P.M. Buy 1 get 1 half price with student ID

Walla Walla University Church, 4:00 P.M.

UPCOMING EVENTS

Mega Movie Night:

Finding Nemo @ WEC Pool Cool Runnings @ SMH 100 The Princess Bride @ Conard Chapel, 8:00P.M.

2

3

4

BATTLE OF THE BANDS:

MONDAY

February 2

w 52°

Anniversary of the publishing of Ulysses by James Joyce, in 1922

wikipedia.org

wikipedia.org

Vitaliy Krivoruk

Saturday, February 7

TUESDAY 3

February 3

CommUnity:

48°

Humanities, Walla Walla University Church, 11:00 A.M.

WEDNESDAY

RAIL JAM: February 4

1 48°

Anniversary of George Washington’s election to the position of President of the United States in 1789

Saturday, February 21

BY HEART 06

It’s

PERSPECTIVE

07 RELIGION

ECCLESIASTES JONATHAN

stephan Contributor I do not feel that God exists.

Don’t misunderstand me; this does not mean that I am not a Christian.

I question, but I believe. A wise man once said, “In college, we can often discover with pain and frustration, that a mature religious man [or woman] is very close to an agnostic, and often we have difficulty in deciding which name expresses better our state of mind: agnostic or searching believer. Perhaps they are closer than we tend to think.”1 This sort of questing experience is spoken to throughout the book of Ecclesiastes; it proclaims that all is meaningless, that we might as well enjoy simple things like sunlight and beauty because nothing else exists. While it feels utterly foreign to the rest of the Bible’s assumption that God simply is, there it is: a ringing affirmation of the searching soul.

I fear that this distinction between feeling and faith is one we have been taught to fear. It seems to me that much of Christianity has taught us that we must feel without a shadow of a doubt that God is, and that what we

have been told about Him is who He is, and that this feeling is faith. So when we encounter questions we don’t have answers to, we fear. At this point, we have two options: either run back into the childish “faith” we had before, or forge on ahead into the terrifying realm in which we admit our own fallibility and finitude, but continue to seek out the truth anyway.

My particular Ecclesiastes experience began two or three years ago.

God began to bring people into my life whose lives had been decidedly different than mine. These dear friends have each experienced nearly unimaginable trauma early in their lives which fundamentally altered their psyches. Each individual’s past experience — entirely outside of their control — has forced them to relate to life and God in entirely different ways than I have. I had up to that point always known — felt — that God existed. Just as surely, I knew that God fixed people’s insides if they asked Him to.

These friends of mine showed me that it isn’t quite so simple as that. I listened to them, prayed with them, wept with them. We begged God for spiritual healing. But healing did not come.

ish panic begins inside me.” Faith is not a belief in what we have no evidence for. It is continuing to believe in something you have reason to believe is true, even if you do not feel that it is at the moment.3 2

I broke. I could no longer reconcile the God I wanted so desperately to believe in with the pain I saw. I didn’t need God to stop bad things from happening. I didn’t need Him to heal those with terminal illnesses, restore sight to the blind, or fix things. I didn’t need Him to intervene when a girl gets trafficked, or a boy gets raped. I just needed Him to pick up the pieces. I needed Him to be there for them when they asked Him to be.

He wasn’t.

I felt betrayed. I sobbed on the floor of a public building, my head in my sister’s lap, for an hour, afraid and alone.

I did not believe in God. And that is where I made my first mistake. I stood up, brushed myself off, and left God behind. Had I stood up, brushed myself off, and waited to leave God behind until I had found incriminating answers to my questions, all would have been well. But I did not wait. I went about my life, I went about searching for answers, but allowed my relationship with God to simply vanish.

C.S. Lewis had a fear of anesthesia.

He was “perfectly convinced by good evidence that anaesthetics do not smother me and that properly trained surgeons do not start operating until I am unconscious. But that does not alter the fact that when they have me down on the table and clap their horrible mask over my face, a mere child-

My questions were good ones. My questions are good ones. But until my questions have been answered against the existence of God, to give up on Him would be like Lewis giving up on anesthesia while on the operating table. In temporarily leaving God behind, I gave into my fear, and abandoned something I had very good reason to believe was true. If I had waited until I had found answers to my questions, and determined that those answers outweighed the evidence for a God and so in that way left Him, that would have been entirely acceptable.

Any person who tries to believe something they believe to be insupportable is a fool. But I didn’t wait for answers; I was afraid that my questions themselves were too big for God. I was wrong. While Christianity as an institution may be afraid of hard questions, Christianity’s God is not. The God of the Christian faith welcomes questions. When we are worn out, when we, like Bilbo Baggins, cry, “I am old ...

I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread,” God whispers a soft and gentle, “Yes.” The true use of Christianity is a mechanism to help us ask questions, and, eventually, to get some answers and rest.

At this stage in my journey, I have

evaluated the evidence for God, and against Him. I have examined and re-examined my questions. I do not yet have fully satisfying answers, but two things I know. First, the evidence for a God still seems to me much better than the evidence against Him. Second, the person I am with God is better than the person I am without Him. This is true even when I do not feel His presence.

So until I prove myself otherwise, I am living as though I am sure. I am embracing my Ecclesiastes experience.

Let us not fear questions, but rather hold fast to what we know to be true until we find ourselves convinced that it is not.

“The true man [or woman] trusts in a strength which is not his, and which he does not feel, does not even always desire.”4 1

Henri J.M. Nouwen, Intimacy

2

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, chapter 11

“A sane man accepts or rejects any statement, not because he wants to or does not want to, but because the evidence seems to him good or bad. If he were mistaken about the goodness or badness of the evidence that would not mean he was a bad man, but only that he was not very clever. And if he tried to force himself to believe in spite of it, that would be merely stupid....I am not asking anyone to accept Christianity if his best reasoning tells him that the weight of the evidence is against it. That is not the point at which Faith comes in.” -C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, chapter 11 3

4

It’s All In Your Head siblings and I attended a non-denominational international school. Every morning with another missionary family, my brother, sister, and I would carpool to school.

RANDY

folkenberg Religion Writer Growing up, my family and I were missionaries in Asia for nine years.

Four and a half of those years were spent in Taichung, the second largest city in the country of Taiwan. For some of the time we lived there, my

One morning, as we pulled out onto the busy streets, we noticed that the air was unusually hazy. Sure, there was always quite a bit of smog in the city, but on that particular day there seemed to more haze than usual. As we drove, our conversation revolved around the haze that we were driving through.

“Talk about greenhouse gasses,” one of my friends said.

“No, it’s just fog,” my brother commented.

From the driver’s seat, my mom turned around and said, “It’s never foggy like this here. There’s got to be a fire somewhere.”

So that became the general consensus — there was a large fire burning in Taichung, Taiwan.

By the time we arrived at school, over half the people in the car were complaining about scratchy throats.

Eyes were watering and stinging because of all the “smoke” in the air. It was very clear that my mom’s diagno-

sis of the situation had been correct.

However, later that day we heard on the news that during the morning there had been an unusual amount of fog that had settled over many parts of Taichung. It wasn’t smoke at all, it was vaporized water. But if that’s all it was, why were our eyes stinging? Because we had come to the conclusion that it was smoke, our bodies reacted as if it really was. It was all in our heads.

Allow me to extrapolate from this story: The heart, the core of who we are, follows our mind. The devil knows this and is constantly trying to bombard us with things that will seep into our systems and warp our minds.

This is part of the reality we live in.

Proverbs 23:7 says, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” In other words, what you and I fill our minds with and

George Macdonald, Unspoken Sermons

focus on has a direct impact on who we are. Our minds are powerful and influential things.

It was because he recognized the power of the mind that Paul wrote this famous passage: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things” (Phil. 4:8, NIV).

It’s important to surrender everything to Jesus, including our minds. When we do, God can begin to work in an amazing way in us, forming us into the people we are meant to be.

CONTEXT

TRAVEL/#thecollegian 08

SHANNON

pierce Travel Writer

the top 10 cities to visit in the us

hdwallpapers.in

NEW YORK CITY, NY

LOS ANGELES, CA

HONOLULU, HI

SAN FRANCISCO, CA

WASHINGTON DC

For those who love crowds, never sleeping, and getting lost.

For those who love to be healthy in spite of smog.

For those who want a break from the cold to experience the island life.

For those hipsters who like walking up hills.

For those who want to say, “I’m going to steal the Declaration of Independence.”

Must See/Do: View the city from atop of the Rockefeller Center. Stroll through

Must See/Do: Surf at Huntington Beach.

Check out Sunset Boulevard, the county Museum of Art, or head out on a hike in Runyon Canyon. Now if you really want to be a tourist, walk down Rodeo Drive and tour Hollywood.

Must See/Do: Begin or end your day with beach yoga or just sit on the beach and soak up some sweet sun rays. Go snorkeling or surfing! Hike to the Manoa Falls, or check out the Pearl Harbor Memorial.

Must See/Do: The 16th Avenue Tiled Steps Project is 163 steps covered by a mosaic. Jump on 42 conjoined trampolines in the House of Air. Walk on the Golden Gate Bridge, visit Alcatraz, or watch the sunrise/sunset from the Twin Peaks. Go to the Ferry Building Marketplace for the food.

Must See/Do: Go to the monuments or visit some of the free museums. When the cherry blossoms are in bloom, it’s a photographer’s and a history buff’s paradise.

Central Park towards the New York Public Library. Walk the High Line on the Lower West Side of Manhattan. People watch on the Red Stairs in Times Square. Go to a Broadway play — below the Red Stairs is a ticket booth that sells decently-priced tickets.

Must Eat: LA has a plethora of food to try from food trucks, farmer’s markets, Asian food, Mexican food, and more.

Must Eat: New York style pizza and cheesecake.

Must Eat: Try a local lunch of rice, macaroni salad, Kahlua pork, Korean barbecue, chicken katsu, beef teriyaki or mahi mahi. For dessert, shaved ice or malasadas, a Portuguese doughnut, are popular treats.

Must Eat: Try the Ethiopian food, the chili, or the falafels.

Must Eat: Mission burritos, garlic fries, and seafood chowder are popular choices.

CHICAGO, IL

NEW ORLEANS, LA

MIAMI, FL

SEATTLE, WA

BOSTON, MA

For those who don’t want to deal with the crowds of NYC.

For those who want a glimpse Europe without leaving the United States.

For a chance to experience some Hispanic culture.

For those who love art, coffee, and clouds.

For those who love history and ocean.

Must See/Do: Stroll along Riverwalk, the Lincoln Park, or the Millennium Park where you can take a picture of the bean.

Go on top of the Willis Tower to stand in a glass box above the city. The Navy Pier showcases a lot of restaurants, shops, and attractions. There are also many concerts and improvisation shows.

Must See/Do: The historic French Quarter and the Garden District are the place for gorgeous architecture. New Orleans is the birthplace of jazz, so there’s never a shortage of music events in the streets and throughout most business establishments.

Must See/Do: Sit on the crowded beaches, go on an art walk through the city, take a stroll down the street in Little Havana or go shopping at the Lincoln Road Mall. Exercise on the beach, or rotate while you sunbathe.

Must See/Do: Head down to Pike Place Market, go up the Space Needle, see the gum wall and the original Starbucks.

Ultimately end up at one of the thousands of coffee shops to read a book. There are also many public parks for hipster photography.

Must Eat: Obviously, have the deep dish pizza, and for the meat eaters, try the classic garden hot dog, or the Big Baby — a unique double cheeseburger.

Must Eat: For those feeling adventurous, try the gumbo. Not ready for that type of adventure? Have the traditional red beans and rice with beignets (French doughnuts).

Must Eat: Empanadas — stuffed fried bread filled with meat or vegetables — are a must try, and Cuban food — especially the black beans (BRB, going to eat).

Must Eat: The popular foods are fish dishes, coffee, apples, Boba tea, and for dessert, Dutch Babies — German pancakes.

Must See/Do: Walk the Freedom trail, which will take you past historic buildings and locations of the American Revolution. On the trail, you’ll pass through the Italian, Latin, and Irish quarters, which offer a plethora of amazing food and shops. Visit the aquarium and the science museum. Fanueil Hall Marketplace also has food and shops. Bunker Hill offers a gorgeous view of the city.

Must Eat: Let me tell you, as a Northeasterner, grilled cheese and tomato soup are warm-you-to-the-bone foods, but clam chowder, lobster, and Boston baked beans are equally as popular. For dessert, Boston cream pie.

thecollegian

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LIFE

09 HUMOR

“TREES CAUSE MORE POLLUTION THAN AUTOMOBILES DO.” book on tape, and they will never know the experience of dial-up Internet that I had every day during my extensive 90s childhood. Of course, this doesn’t make any sense.

SpongeBob wasn’t a 90s thing, since it ran from 1999 to 2012, my iPod is way better than a tape player, and dial-up was the worst.

When I was a child, everything was better than it is right now. Kids today can’t enjoy the magic of SpongeBob like I did, they won’t ever know what it was like to listen to a

One of my high school teachers just posted a blackand-white photo of sad children on Facebook that had a list of things that were “better” when she was a child. One

2. The Ace Ventura: Pet Detective animated television show. This show was terrible. It took a Jim Carrey movie aimed at adults and turned it into an animated kids show lead by Michael Daingerfield.

This would have ruined your childhood, assuming your childhood was already pretty close to being ruined. Otherwise, it would have made your childhood slightly worse.

3. The Persian Gulf War. Lots of people died.

4. Wearing jeans backwards. It just looked stupid.

5. Shortalls. They are a combination of shorts and overalls. They are impractical and look ridiculous.

6. Bill Clinton was impeached. In a shocking twist of fate and an incredible feat of multitasking, Bill Clinton managed to balance the budget while having an illicit affair.

This lead to the highest approval ratings of his presidency and to his being charged with perjury.

7. The Inspector Gadget Movie.

One critic called it a “joyless and charmless disaster.” He was correct.

Hopefully this article has proved to you what I have known for years: the 1990s were a lot like today, but without Netflix. All of which begs the question: who would want to go back to that?

1 http://tinyurl.com/mdizzleandtoasty 2 http://childrenonleashes.com/​ @cassie_mason

thecollegian

1. Crystal Pepsi. This soft drink was supposed to taste like normal Pepsi, only it was clear and had no caffeine. By all reports, it was confusing and weird.

buzzfeed.com

SNAPCHAT

seven bad things

of them was riding a bike without a helmet. Now, maybe there is a point to be made about parents being overly cautious about their children’s safety. However, that point is better illustrated through something ridiculous like kid leashes,2 not through a something that saves thousands of lives each year. The reason these years seem so flawless to us is because us 90s kids were too young to comprehend what was actually happening in the 1990s. In order to inform all of you about the reality of your childhood, I have made a list. No one can resist lists.

MICAH

hall Contributor

about

hdwallpapers.in

Hello, loyal readers. I am honored to have been asked to write for the Collegian ​this week. Most of you probably know me as M-Dizzle of the rap group M-Dizzle and Toasty.1 However, I am more than just a rapper. I am also a nineteen-year-old adult male who was born in the 1990s.

mmjevents.com

LIFE

CULTURE 10

BRUNCH IS A VERB EMILY

fletcher Contributor I consider Emily Fletcher to be our official explorer of Portland, OR. A fellow nursing student, she finds the time to seek out the nooks and crannies of our fine city. Enjoy her contribution describing the culture of “The City of Roses”!

Brunch is a Verb I love the city of Portland. I am a loner with a strong love for coffee.

Every Sunday morning I break out of the haze of nursing school and find a local roastery where I can be an anonymous creeper. I could tell you where that is, but that would totally defeat the purpose of my highly productive anthropological homework binge-fests. Maybe a lot of you know about Portland. Or maybe you don’t, and I could tell you that the streets are flowing with kombucha and we are host to the World Beard and Mustache Championships every

fall. Or that you can try as hard as you like, but every burger you find on this side of the river will be vegan (one of these statements is, in fact, true).

I will let you in on a little secret to thriving in the City of Roses that I’ve learned from these Sunday mornings.

Firstly, brunch is a verb. Brunch is not a thing you do when your extended relatives come to town — it’s a way of life. And regardless of what happened the day before, no matter the weather, you will put on that rain jacket and you will wait in line for those waffles, because there is nothing about “housemade Fiori di Sicilia mousse and Seville orange curd with tangerine, kiwi, and fresh whipped cream” that won’t remind you of all that is good and true in this life.

The second secret is simple: be yourself. I’ve been in a lot of cities where people dress a certain way or go to certain events because it’s “the thing to do.” Yes, there is an absurd number of beards, flannels, tattoos, and Indie venues, but there is an even greater number of people who are

the kaleidoscope New discoveries, far and near. Songs, books, and art, it’s shared right here.

so incredibly authentic and promote their passions in every aspect of their life. And they expect nothing less from me. When I first moved here, I used to laugh at the guy at the tea shop who ties up his rabbit outside, or the couple grabbing coffee in Pokemon suits, or the gentleman who commutes solely via unicycle.

Let’s not forget the passive-aggressive college kids who vacated a house on Division Street and left a poster linking summer sidewalk construction to the “barbaric oppression of the federal government.” But they aren’t laughing, and they aren’t doing these things for my entertainment.

Regardless of our potentially differing worldviews, they have chosen their methods of expressing themselves.

We can all learn from the people of Portland. So get out there! Put on that knitted tracksuit. Start a charity fund for abandoned hamsters. But do not apologize for being yourself. And if all else fails, just move to Portland.

We’ll welcome you with open arms, as long as it doesn’t interfere with brunch time.

spadecoffee.wordpress.com

TELESCOPE The Brilliance: Do you like Gungor? Then you may like his brother. The Brilliance is headed by David Gungor and features a different A Toothpaste Suburb: I stumbled upon this type of worship music. Fed up interesting gem the other with the mainstream lull, he day while browsing set out to create intimate and Bandcamp.com.

This album unique songs that brake the @jess_pdx: Ok, so maybe I’m biased is the newest from the rap rules of modern worship. A toward Portland. But if you want to see the artist Milo, and once you few of my favorites I think you beauty of Portland and the Northwest on a daily get past the occasional should check out first: “Dust basis, follow local Portland photographer @jess_pdx expletive you discover an We Are And Shall Return,” “Have on Instagram to get stunning pictures delivered to your honest, down-to-earth artist You Forsaken Me?,” and “Holy phone on a daily basis. Jess travels around the area, taking that raps beautiful verses Communion.” over a tapestry of spacey, pictures from Portland sunrise skylines to Oregon coast waves earthy tracks. If you’ve had to majestic shots of Mt. Hood against a deep blue sky, all the a long day and just need to while sharing them right on Instagram for our enjoyment. chill, slap on some good headphones and try out “A Toothpaste Suburb”

by Milo.

SCOPE

MICROSCOPE

LIFE

11 FASHION

STYLE PROFILE STYLE PROFILE STYLE PROFILE STYLE PROFILE q and a A: Who is your style inspiration?

C: Anna Wintour, Diane von Fürstenberg, Marc Jacobs, Karl La- …blah blah.

Connor Wasylucha BBA Marketing

This week’s feature is my one and only boyfriend. Thanks, Connor, for cooperating with me. You are my everything!

Connor has great taste in clothes and style. Obviously, he took my interview very seriously.

A: What is your fashion pet peeve?

C: Skater hair, man bangs, over-gelled hair, baggy pants, unfitted suits, thick ties, too thin ties, and when the leather on your shoes doesn’t match your belt.

A: How should guys amp up their style?

C: Go get some joggers now, because comfortable style won’t be around forever.

Get your own pair of joggers. Only $35 at H&M for these cool ones with knee zipper details!

SWEATSHIRT | J. Crew PANTS | Nike SHOES | New Balance

ALYSSA

hartwick Fashion Writer

e the n a daily @jess_pdx ered to your e area, taking on coast waves sky, all the yment.

LIFE

12 FOOD

RACHEL

PETERSON Food Writer

I’d love to get feedback from you! Send me an email if you have any comments or suggestions for recipes you’d like to see featured at rachel.peterson@ wallawalla.edu

GO-TO LUNCH

Mason jars can be used for pencil holders, candle holders, vases, coffee cups, and more. One of my favorite uses for mason jars is to pack them with salads! The salad dressing goes on the bottom of the jar, followed by a layer of moisture-resistant vegetables to prevent the greens from getting soggy. Always put the dry ingredients on top. The dressing can also be placed in a separate container if desired. These salads can be made ahead of time so you always have lunch ready. Plus, there are tons of possible salad combinations. Here are a few examples:

Feature

RECIPE : SAVVY SALADS A nt i o x i d a n t S a l a d Start with balsamic vinaigrette at the bottom of the jar. Next, layer blackberries and strawberries, sprouts, carrots, almonds, goat cheese, flax seed, and mixed greens.

M e d i t e r ra n e a n S a l a d Once again, begin with balsamic vinaigrette. Then, layer artichokes, tomatoes (could be sun-dried), kalamata olives, cucumbers, feta, pine nuts, and mixed greens.

Protein Salad Start with a lemon-based dressing.

Layer broccoli, chickpeas, cooked quinoa, corn, peas, figs, pumpkin seeds, parmesan, and spinach.

Detox Salad Begin once again with a lemon-based dressing of your choice. Next, layer pineapple chunks, white beans, blueberries, cooked quinoa, sprouts, and kale.

Recipe adapted from abesmarket.com

LIFE

13 CW/CW

Creative

WRITING

ABIGAIL

wissink Creative Curator If you’d like to submit your poetry, prose, songs, or any kind of creative writing, email me at abigail.wissink@ wallawalla.edu This week, the Creative Writing page is featuring some artists who have submitted work to The Gadfly this year. Consider it a tiny preview of what is to come. If you would like to submit your work to be published, email your submission and a short bio to gadfly@wallawalla. edu. The Gadfly is open to submissions from students, faculty, alumni, and staff. Send your original artwork, stories, photographs, or "Anything Elegant" by February 1st.

ON CHOOSING A MAJOR IN COLLEGE

LEANING TOWER

This is what I told her — I don’t think I know what I’m doing Like my universe is walking around Upside down, and I know what I should be doing, but I lean too far to the other side — Can’t see past my own eyelashes I tell her I’ve stopped praying But there are a lot of things I should be stopping, instead

Staring at its picture in the book I wonder: is that dang tower ever going to fall?

It is, after all, just leaning—caught between dirt and sky— neither here nor there: like watching the phone, like waiting for news.

She asks me — What is filling you up And what is driving you down?

The being and the doing — They are the characters in the book of you, ¡mija!

I begin to hope an extra-fat pigeon will land too abruptly on it, sever whatever invisible tether holds it. Then archaeologists can rummage through a new ruin, and we can all go look at something else.

- Danielle Shull

Collegian

WISDOM Teen mocks principal’s looks on Facebook, gets expelled.

Note to self: always “Like.”

Militant attack plunges Pakistan into darkness.

Power Play.

Grad, 2013

Indonesia will produce male birth control pill.

They promise to use this power for good.

Get your hands all filthy Push handfuls of weeds out of the way Throw the earth over your shoulders And look For the seeds I buried there (for you!) years ago And they will grow

Woman hijacks police car, evades at 100mph... with her hands handcuffed behind her back.

Good thing it wasn’t an MRAP.

I remember you then, she said — When you were just this high Up to my thigh But your soul was already old And so far from home

Bill would ban police from receiving military weapons/vehicles.

- Rebecca Hanan Grad, 2013

- Eric Weber

Good thing Walla Walla PD already bought their MRAP.

Graduating Senior

Military says Washington state marijuana shops are “off limits” to troops.

That Supremacy Clause though...

video

vimeo.com/aswwu

Eric Weber

LIFE

SCIENCE 14

BIRDMAN: “SUPERHERO” DANIEL

hulse Science Writer

www.internationalhero.co.uk

Two weeks ago, I talked about some of the bigger inconsistencies in superhero films, such as how many superpowers don’t make sense by their own logic. While most superheroes couldn’t exist in real life, it can still be interesting to speculate and discuss what they would be like if they existed.

To only talk about real things would be narrow-minded and not very fun.

After all, if real things were all that we were supposed to talk about, mathematics, hypotheticals, and many of the other abstract spaces that are actually useful when accurately describing the world would be off-limits. With that sense of flexibility, and in the spirit of mathematical playfulness, let’s look at what it would take for a superhero to really work.

How large would Birdman’s wings need to be to fly?

In the last article I blathered on about how superheroes that are powered by the sun couldn’t exist because the amount of energy from the sun isn’t much more than is normally metabolized in the human body. While that makes perfect sense to say a powered-by-the-sun Superman wouldn’t work, it doesn’t quite make sense to say that a powered-by-the-sun Birdman wouldn’t work, because Birdman has wings, which have the potential to greatly expand his surface area to gather the rays of the sun. In fact, we know for sure that solar-powered human

flight is possible — it’s been demonstrated before in the Solar Impulse, a piloted solar-powered plane that will be attempting a circumnavigational flight this year. 1In fact, human-powered flight has been demonstrated in MIT’s Daedalus plane, which flew 71.5 miles in 1988.2

Our assumptions: — Solar irradiance = 120 Watts/ m^2 (the most energy from sunlight possible) — Birdman does not have to exert any energy to keep his wings in a fixed position because they are magical.

Solution: Since Birdman’s power acts like

and power is force times velocity combining these equations gives something like this:

— Birdman can fly as fast as the fastest bird can continuously, 54 mph (24 m/s) 4 — Birdman’s wings are strong.

— Birdman’s wings have already been designed so that we don’t have to worry about lift.

— Birdman’s wings have the coefficient of drag of 0.05.5 They also have a chord length of 2 ft. (0.61 m) — Birdman’s weight is 150 lbs + 30 lbs per foot of wing, (69 + 45 kg/m), and air density=1.22 kg/m^3 — Birdman’s body’s area for use in the coefficient of drag equation is 1 m.

— Birdman knows how to fly.

— Magic is Real.

l (m)

T (N) V (m/s)

1

6.4

3

16 13.6

10

48.8 15.0

30

142 15.5

100

466 15.7

1000

11.4

4640 15.8

100000 463681 15.8 We can reach another relationship between thrust and velocity using:

— Birdman has a magic way of turning energy into thrust.

— All efficiencies = 100%3

This gives:

Solving these simultaneously gives a length of: well, it doesn’t actually work. To fix it, we’ll change the problem so that we can find the velocity he can at certain wing spans. So, instead we’ll solve the following equations for different values of l to see what happens:

It’s fairly easy to see that Birdman isn’t going to get to 24 m/s any time soon.

He might, however get to 12 m/s (or 27 mph) just fine. As it turns out, that’s within the range of of Hawk Gal, a “superhero” from The Fairly Oddparents episode “The Big Superhero Wish,” in which the main character Timmy Turner wishes the whole world was like a comic book. Who knew The Fairly Oddparents writers were aiming for realism?

1

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solar_Impulse

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human-powered_aircraft 2

While the theoretical limit of a solar panel is 86%, and all energy conversions have associated ineffiencies, ignoring thermodynamics makes life more fun

“Real” Superhero As it turns out, there are tons of articles looking at what superheroes would be like in real life. Here are just a few of them:

Wired’s “The Physics of Spiderman’s Webs” The strength of spider-man’s web is one of the most common analyses off this type. This seems to be the most complete of the bunch. http://tinyurl.com/lgcpeax

The “Cost of Being Batman” infographic.

Batman’s “superpower” is, ultimately, wealth. According to this infographic, being batman would cost 682 million dollars, putting him well within the reach of the Forbes 400. http://tinyurl.com/nqfefre

3

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_birds_by_ flight_speed 4

This drag is greater than most planes, since people aren’t very aerodynamic. Then again, the coefficient of drag varies with Reynolds number which varies with velocity, so it’s not a sure thing. The point is to not have to worry about all that stuff, though, so we’re just going to say it’s 0.05.

5

Reddit’s “/r/theydidthemath” While /r/theydidthemath doesn’t focus exclusively on superheroes, they have had a few good posts, including: The Maximum Speed of Iron Man (http://tinyurl.com/pf6ghwn) and The Bill for an Iron Man Suit (http://tinyurl.com/okk7kbx ). http://tinyurl.com/pgt2oku

LIFE

15 SPORTS

swollyourrollsports.com

WHAT I REALLY WANT

FROM THE SUPER BOWL www.cbssports.com

ALEX

wagner Sports Writer The Super Bowl is this Sunday. I like to call it my “Second Thanksgiving.”

After all, it’s a majestic day with wings, empanadas, nachos, and guacamole.

Unfortunately, as much as I love the Super Bowl, the buildup to this one has been super lame.

In case you haven’t been following football for the last several weeks, fans have really been handed a mixed bag of results. If you were a kid metaphorically trick-or-treating throughout the NFL playoffs, and each house was a playoff game, you would look into your bucket right now and find a king-size candy bar and a couple of fun-size treats, but the remaining items would be dental floss, a crab apple, and some literature explaining why Halloween is evil.

On the path to the Super Bowl, we’ve had the pleasure of watching Andy Dalton, Ryan Lindley, and a lousy Peyton Manning play the quarterback position. There were games where officials made calls and non-calls: deciding when to call pass interference or not call pass interference, to rule catch or no-catch.

Though the on-field product was poor, I had no major problem with it because it was on-field, a direct result of the game that was played.

Lately, it’s been a little bit different, with off-field analysis becoming the only talk going into this Super Bowl. Headlines have been filled with thoughts on “deflate-gate,” Tom Brady’s verbiage involving balls, and a dirty handshake shared between Marshawn Lynch and Chris Matthews.

It’s kind of like an episode of MTV’s The Real World, where 45 minutes of the show is based on something microscopic that slips out of one of the roommates’ mouths and will ignite shouting and screaming throughout the house.

That’s fine for reality television — in fact I enjoy it — but come on, this is the NFL playoffs!

I really don’t want to dampen the mood on the Super Bowl (my Second Thanksgiving) anymore. Instead, let’s talk about the on-field reasons to be excited and thankful for this game.

The NFC Championship was incredible. In fact, it was probably beyond incredible. Russell Wilson had just a few minutes to redeem himself following what had turned into his worst game as a professional.

He came through, seizing every last opportunity and throwing up a dime to Jermaine Kearse to win the game in overtime.

As a team, what will we see from the Seahawks next? They showed us their worst and their best in that NFC Championship, but which side will show up to the Super Bowl?

The New England Patriots dominated in the AFC Championship against the Colts; fully inflated footballs or not, they were clearly the better team. I think of New England as a dynasty franchise, the team to beat

every season, but they haven’t won the Super Bowl since 2004! It’s been 11 years since Tom Brady said “I’m going to Disneyworld!”

This season may have been one of the best Patriot seasons to date.

Following a disastrous Week 4 loss on Monday Night Football to the Chiefs, Bill Belichick said the team was “On to Cincinnati” and what he really meant was “On to the Super Bowl.” The Patriots rolled through the majority of their remaining games and have shown they are one of the best offenses in the league.

How will that offense do against the Legion of Boom and an all-time great defense in the Seahawks? Can Seattle contain Rob Gronkowski? Who comes out on top when Kam Chancellor and Gronk collide following a Brady throw over the middle of the field?

In case you missed it, the Patriots signed Darrelle Revis in the offseason, and he is still really, really good. It may be fair to finally settle “the best cornerback in the league” conversation between Richard Sherman and Revis when this game reaches its conclusion.

Even more recent than the Revis signing was the Patriots’ addition of LeGarrette Blount. Picked up off the scrap-heap from the Steelers, Blount has been huge for the Patriots. He ran for 148 yards and three touchdowns in the AFC Championship game and is kind of a B class version of Marshawn Lynch. Two very physical running backs who should play a major role in this game. Who is going to break off the crazier run? Which running back will have the more violent stiff-arm on an opponent?

Is it possible that coaching could be a big factor in the game? Between New England’s Bill Belichick and Seattle’s Pete Carroll there is plenty of big game experience to go around.

Will one of these coaches take a gamble on a 4th and goal or onside kick that ultimately leads to their team holding the Lombardi Trophy?

These are the types of questions that should be answered on Sunday, and hopefully the on-field product will be up to par with what both of these teams are capable of doing.

Other Cheek

the

DARTH VADER (AND INTENSE JUDGMENT)

wissink Backpage Writer

her, because and a little

el Lagabon

“

another dimension outside of the story itself in how they are viewed with others. I have fond memories of going to the drive-in when I was a kid, watching Freaky Friday in the back of a truck under the summer stars, watching a movie in theaters for the first time when I was 10, first dates at theaters in high school where we were both too scared to hold each other’s

Why does this matter so much? How is it that certain stories can stick in a culture and become so well known that you become a social pariah if you haven’t watched or read them? I think it’s because stories matter. They shape your worldview, memories, and connections to other people. Stories in film, especially, take on

hands. Even if the movies weren’t my favorite, the memories associated with them could convince me to watch them again. Everyone can probably remember the first time they watched their favorite movie, and who they were with when they watched it.

VERBATIM

“A little cyanide is good for everyone.”

- Professor Dan Lamberton

“Most people look better with their clothes on; everyone looks better with their skin on. ”

- Professor Melodie Selby

“Don’t talk to me like I don’t know how to use my fanny pack.”

- Alex Lemnah

“Joel doesn’t like it when I grow out my beard, but you know, the matriarchy, right?”

- Jenny van Dyk

If you hear something funny, cringe-worthy, or that could be hilarious out of context, send the quote to me! abigail.wissink@wallawalla.edu

“

ABIGAIL

Earlier this week, I was given an ultimatum. I was chatting with a friend when he discovered that I had not seen all of the Star Wars movies (haters gonna hate; read on if you think we can still be friends). This friend claimed that if I didn’t watch them all, our friendship was over. Fewer than 70 of my Facebook friends have “liked” Star Wars and only 30 people on the Mask list the series as one of their favorites, yet almost everyone whom I tell that I haven’t seen the films (which, based on the reaction I get, is not many people) straight up freaks out. It’s not necessary for the film to be your favorite thing ever, but apparently not having seen every minute of every one of them is reason for being outcast from society.

Even if the movies weren’t my favorite, the memories associated with them could comvince me to watch them again.

Stories hold this special place because they create another dimension, one to which you can return whenever you want a laugh or to feel the same things you felt the first time you watched them.

I don’t have these connections to Star Wars, and I probably never will. But I weirdly love the camaraderie that builds around disliking someone who hasn’t seen the films, because it means that whoever is hating on me at the moment has let a story impact their life. I say bring it on, but keep sharing your love for stories and words with the world. If you’d like to be involved in The Collegian’s project of sharing words and stories that matter to you, visit aswwu.com/byheart.

HaikuREVIEW INTER

VIEW

With a new quarter more haiku have arrived! Send in your guesses to Abigail.Wissink@wallawalla.edu

What film do you think everyone should see?

“Ha... Star Wars.”

- Jerad Booth

Former president Ernest C. gave me my name.

I am often warm.

“I think everyone’s already seen it, but The Princess Bride.”

- Olive Marien

“Well, I love musicals. So, maybe The Sound of Music. People have had plenty of time, they should’ve seen it by now.”

- Alix Kopitzke

Last week’s answer: Calvin and Hobbes Last week’s winner: Jenna Thomas