Volume 99, Issue 22 by The Collegian

NEWS | 05

WHAT IS IT AND WHY SHOULD YOU CARE? 10

THE WALLA WALLA UNIVERSITY

collegian VOLUME 99 | ISSUE 22 | 30 APRIL 2015 |

TRAVEL | 20

SNAPSHOTS | 06

GREY AREAS

BARBOSA

Raising a topic like Spiritual Formation is daunting. As this is a heated controversy very specific to Adventist culture, I believe there is a division of two groups: those inside the church without a clue as to what the discussion is even about (not to mention those outside the church), and those who are informed.

Arella Aung

Steve Wohlberg

09 perspective

ASSISTANT EDITOR Karl Wallenkampf LAYOUT EDITOR Mindy Robinson HEAD COPY EDITOR Andrea Johnson PERSPECTIVE EDITOR Benjamin Ramey CONTENT EDITOR Carolyn Green

BACKPAGE & CREATIVE CURATOR Abigail Wissink

ADVERTISING MANAGER Shandra Cady

CULTURE WRITER River Davis

SCIENCE & TECH WRITER Daniel Hulse

FASHION WRITER Alyssa Hartwick

SPORTS WRITER & PROMOTION MANAGER Alex Wagner

FOOD WRITER Rachel Peterson HUMOR WRITER Lauren Lewis NEWS WRITERS Morgan Sanker Alexandra Buley Kari Gomez OFFICE MANAGER Mae Liongco

Opinion | 8 Religion | 9 Feature | 10-13

07 context EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ricky Barbosa

On a personal note, I encourage you to treat each grey area with caution, no matter what form it may take. It’s tempting to become comfortable with where you are, just as long as it isn’t clearly in the wrong. I believe that as Christians and as human beings, we can be much better than that.

TRAVEL & LOCAL WRITER Shannon Pierce COPY EDITORS Tyler Jacobson Kayla Albrecht Rachel Blake DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Zachary Johnson

RELIGION WRITER Kenton Gonzalez

LAYOUT DESIGNERS Matthew Moran Ian Smith Chloe Putnam

opinion writer Alex Aamodt

ASWWU HEAD PHOTO EDITOR Erick Juarez

thecoveteur.com

Editor-in-Chief

This issue of The Collegian seeks first to define spiritual formation within the context of Adventistism. Secondly, we hope it will serve to encourage civil discussion on both sides. We are looking to provoke thought, not further controversy.

scriptgodsmustdie.com

RICKY

Take any ethics class and after circling around the answers to a few impossible situations you will find that the division between “right” and “wrong” becomes murkier by the minute. There is always a huge spectrum to consider and there is hardly ever an easy answer. I think the same is true to most of life — we are constantly faced with questions of grey rather than black and white.

life

If you are interested in contributing to The Collegian, speak with one of our illustrious staff members. The Collegian is enhanced by regularly incorporating a wide range of campus perspectives. Cover Credit: hdlandscapewallpapers.com The Collegian is the official publication of ASWWU. Its views and opinions are not necessarily the official stance of Walla Walla University or its administration, faculty, staff, or students. Questions, letters, and comments can be sent to aswwu.collegian@wallawalla.edu or richard.barbosa@ wallawalla.edu. This issue was completed at 12:47 A.M. on Thursday, April 30, 2015. The Collegian | Volume 99, Issue 22 | 204 S. College Avenue, College Place, WA 99324 | collegian.wallawalla.edu For information about advertising, please contact Shandra Cady at aswwu.ads@wallawalla.edu. Correction: In our previous issue, we mispelled the last name of Evelyn Ouro-Rodrigues. We apologize for this error!

CONTEXT 03 NEWS

ormation within to encourage ought, not

KARI

gomez Contributor

A BANQUET, DEANS, RA’S, AND OLD CARS Alumni homecoming was held this past week, beginning Thursday morning, April 23, and ending Sunday afternoon, April 26. Honored classes this year were the classes of 1955, 1960, 1970, 1975, 1980, 1985, 1990, 1995, 2005, and 1965, who celebrated their golden graduation anniversary together. 871 alumni registered for this year’s homecoming, though the attendance was more than likely increased by non-registered local alumni and alumni whose graduating class was not being honored this year. The four days were packed with events for alumni differing in inter-

ests, study fields, and ages. Events ranged from departmental dinners, a bird walk, various alumni lectures and presentations, Young Alumni Night at BluePalm, a 5k run/walk, class of 1965 Wanda Thompson’s art exhibit “Mountains, Trees, and Light,” and many others.

to Neil, the event “grows larger every year.” Homecoming wrapped up with the 17th Annual Alumni Car Show, which featured a broad range of automobiles, including alumnus Alton Olson’s 1961 Chevy and junior automotive management major Adam Vigil’s 1965 Alfa Romeo Classic.

The most popular event for all, however, was the Alumni Banquet, held Thursday evening, of which Director of Alumni/Parent Relations, Terri Dickenson Neil, writes, “[the event] has become fun, entertaining, and purposeful.” 425 alumni registered for the banquet this year, and according

Of the weekend, Dickerson Neil comments, “I love the synergy created by having students involved throughout the weekend. It is a wonderfully collaborative set of events. This goes well beyond the Academic Symposiums. For instance, our banquet featured music from our students, a Reader’s The-

ater written, directed, and performed by students, and of course PRISM and our other musical programs sprinkled throughout the weekend.” Each year, an affinity group is selected for homecoming. This year, Deans and RA’s alumni of the men’s and women’s dorm were chosen, along with the 35th Alumni Egg Drop. Last year’s affinity group was the 100th anniversary of ASWWU, and while next year is yet to be decided on, 2017 has plans on an I Cantori reunion. Anyone interested on more information for this or next year’s Alumni Homecoming can contact the Alumni and Advancement Services Office at 509-5272631 or Terri Dickenson Neil’s office at 509-527-2644.

CONTEXT

ASWWU 04

Senate

UPDATE

Old business G.L. 12 - Vice President Pro Tempore for ASWWU Elected Positions G.L. 15 - Micah Hall for University Senate

G.L. 16 – Election Clarification for Intercampus Voting and Eligibility G.L. 17 – Added Responsibility for Incumbent Executives G.L. 18 – Presidential Annual Report

CONTEXT

05 NEWS

EARTHQUAKE IN NEPAL tary lands. Many have lost their families, homes, and anything to call their own. The weather has been extremely stormy, only adding to the desolation of the area.

MORGAN

sanker News Writer On Saturday, April 25th, a massive 7.8 earthquake ripped through the Katmandu Valley in Nepal. This destruction of this massive earthquake spread to neighboring countries such as India and China, affecting the lives of over 8 million people. According to UNICEF, 1 million of the victims are children. The death toll continues to grow above the 4,800 lives this earthquake has claimed. Devastation and heartbreak are rampant, evidenced on the faces of all, and on the broken terrain itself. Massive camping grounds have sprung up on sections of large, mili-

For those in Nepal, Facebook created a safety check so that their loved ones could be assured they were all right (http://www.facebook.com/ safetycheck/nepalearthquake). The UN has launched an appeal for $415 million to provide emergency relief for the victims over the next three months. This appeal has yet to become reality. However, if the appeal does go through, many will receive various forms of aid such as clothing, food, temporary shelters, and more. Buildings that once shaped Nepal’s skyline now lie in ruin. Most of Nepal’s major landmarks, such as the Dharahara tower and Durbar Square, are demolished.

miles to neighboring provinces or even as far as India. Nepal’s biggest problems are found in the rural village communities, miles away from the center of metropolitan areas. “The biggest problem is reaching these villages,” stated Matt Darvas, an emergency communications officer for the humanitarian group World Vision. Though massive amounts of relief aid is pouring into the country, hospitals are running out of essential medical supplies and medicines. There are many ways to help earthquake victims. UNICEF, Samaritain’s Purse, and Direct Relief are only a few of the many charities that are accepting donations for earthquake relief. Do some research and get involved. Anything helps. Anyone can help.

In the wake of this tragedy, many individuals are attempting to leave Nepal. Many survivors are walking

i2.cdn.turner.com

facebook.com

time.com

CONTEXT

SNAPSHOTS 06

Caleb Riston

Mac Ford

Caleb Riston

Mac Ford

Caleb Riston

Monica Culler

Caleb Riston

CONTEXT

07 WEEK IN FORECAST

Week in

THURSDAY 1

April 30 73°

LLU Allied Health Consultations KRH 217, All Day (Sign up at the Career Development Center. Appointment bookings may be full.)

FRIDAY

Jill Carter

wordpress.com

Caleb Riston

findthebest.com

FORECAST 30 1

SATURDAY 2

SUNDAY

May 2

May 1

2 81°

Vespers, Melissa Howell University Church, 8:00 P.M.

75°

On this day in 1611, the King James Bible was published in London by the printer Robert Barker

May 3

75°

Senior Photo Shoot

CTC 3rd Floor, 12:00-3:00 P.M.

Junior Voice Recital: Lindsay Armstrong FAC, 3:00-4:00 P.M.

ASWWU Food Eating Contest SAC Lawn, 5:00-7:00 P.M.

UPCOMING EVENTS

Tin Man

MONDAY

May 4

1 78°

TUESDAY 2

May 5

71°

WA State Legislative Internship Information Session

CommUnity: InTents, Alden Weaver

InTents: Jake Wilkinson & Tyler Martin

InTents: Jordan Stephan

Alaska Room Lobby, 12:00-1:00 P.M.

KRH Lawn, 7:00 P.M. Caleb Riston

Arella Aung

Monica Culler

wordpress.com

May 8

University Church, 11:00-11:50 A.M. KRH Lawn, 7:00 P.M.

WEDNESDAY 2

May 6

InTents: Stephan Farr & Rebekah Rogers KRH Lawn, 7:00 P.M.

69°

ASWWU Casablanca Banquet May 16

International Food Fair May 17

PERSPECTIVE OPINION 08

ully

ssf

ce suc

MY OUTSTRETCHED HAND KARL

wallenkampf Assistant Editor Hand-shaking has a long history, perhaps beginning in ancient cultures as a way for men to indicate that they carried no weapon and meant no harm. Though today we have little need to announce whether or not we carry swords or spears, my dad taught me how to shake hands when I was younger. Later, in high school, I took a cotillion and etiquette class in order to learn proper manners and basic dance steps. There, again, I refined my knowledge of hand-shaking. It’s an art form, as most manners are. It should be firm, neither limp nor crushing; it should have subtle shaking, because our hands are not pistons; it should last a few short seconds, or when the other person begins to relax; and if one extends a hand but is not met in return, the other person must not have noticed — lower the hand.1 Like any traditional act, hand-shaking has been melded through history, manipulated to serve various ends, and transformed into something that often carries meanings opposite to the original intention. There are ways of shaking hands to express dominance, and some like to crush other people’s hands in a severely disrespectful way. Hand shaking is not so different

from other activities, though, and it indicates sentiments absent in some discourse today. There are dialogues in the current sphere — political, social, religious, Adventist — that would be improved if the interlocutors took time to stretch out their hands as a sign of good will: I carry no weapon against you. This Collegian issue concerns the topic of “spiritual formation.”2 What does “spiritual formation” mean? I direct you to my friends Benjamin Ramey and Brooklynn Larson, who have worked hard to put it in context for you on pages 10-13. Whatever it is, there are some key things I wish were a greater part of the discussion, which I believe are in keeping with the ancient tradition of shaking hands.

Dialogue Dialogue will be the only hope for common ground and understanding in this “spiritual formation” debate. As mentioned before, handshakes should have a subtle pumping motion, not the crazed pitching some engage in. Similarly, in any dialogue in the topic of “spiritual formation,” one must maintain an understanding of nuance and subtlety. What does one mean by “spiritual formation”? Does the person you’re listening to think it’s the diabolical manifestation of end-times prophecy, the infiltration of the church by deceptive forces? Is it a somewhat less insidious thing — just an incorrect, Eastern, New Age way of accessing the spiritual? Or is it a term merely representing the wish for many people to come into a greater relationship with God, to have Christ “formed in you” as Paul says in Galatians 4:19? Many of the terms involved — prayer, breath-

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ing, contemplation, meditation, centering — have a wide usage, obviously enough. There are differences between Eastern meditation, Adventist meditation, and meditation as a practice in general. Is “mysticism” merely a religious tradition which “encourages flights of the soul to God” which, “[a]s to the Christian faith ... is rare theses days and is relatively inconsequential,” or is it a darker reality?3 In these conversations, specificity and nuance are critical, being able to understand the subtleties of the conversation. Just as you wouldn’t want someone to shake your hand up and down like they were pumping air into a flat tire, one shouldn’t use such vigorous language that meaning is lost.

Deference If we extend our hands toward our interlocutors in good faith and they are not returned, it does not need to be a signal to fight. I have heard of people literally holding their Bibles in the faces of those who they think are part of the “emergent church” or engaged in “spiritual formation.” However much this or other initial actions may encourage an escalation of hostilities, Christ was clear in demanding that we turn the other cheek. Just as someone might not shake your hand when you extend it does not mean a conversation cannot occur. Likewise, some people on either side of the “spiritual formation” debate may refuse quarter to their seeming opponents. Conversation can still occur, but humility will be necessary.

Duration Handshakes should be brief. I’ve been in some longer handshakes, and almost every one has felt like a power play — each of us holding on to see who will let go first, as if that proved perseverance, or anything at all. Conversations on spiritual topics should

not be this way. I do not want to imply that we should never have long conversations about theology or its practice. By no means — those can be some of the most encouraging and nourishing of interactions. Instead, one should not talk too long without allowing a response. This is a personal struggle, actually. If I talk too long, sometimes the other person simply assumes I will never listen to them, and will stop speaking entirely. We cannot create that possibility, here. There is too much at stake in religion for one side to leave the conversation. Those who decry “spiritual formation,” and those who support it or seem to support it, have a reason for their position. Long speeches interfere with listening, and we cannot engage in dialogue if our own speech is not brief.

Discernment The issue of “spiritual formation” provides numerous instances for bludgeoning. It is common to see personal or categorical attacks on individuals, denominations, churches, and schools. It’s easy to say one side is narrow-minded, the other heretical. The terms often used are misleading and often unattributed. The practices mentioned are mostly undefined and described sensationally. Accusations I have listened to from churchmen like Rick Howard and Doug Batchelor can lead one to anxiously consider the dangers of an insidious infiltration of the Seventh-day Adventist Church by pagan, heathen, Eastern practices. On the other side, I have heard my peers decry the detractors of “spiritual formation” as hateful, unable to listen, and fear-mongering. In these myriad confusions, discernment is key. I am not the first to suggest this: nearly everyone involved preaches discernment — one must be directed to prayerful consideration of the evidence and the biblical example. I will do the same, today. See for yourself what the Bible says: “Do not despise prophesies, but test everything; hold fast to what is good.”4 God gave you a mind, use it with his presence. I must suggest, however, that further investigation may be necessary. If, for instance, someone, say, Ted N. C. Wilson, condemns contemplative prayer, Google it. Find out what he is actually condemning. Then, take that and compare it with the Biblical example of prayer and see if there is any disunity. Pray and reason through his argument and the definitions of contemplative prayer. Perhaps it’s a form

of wayward spiritual activity used by Catholics that will lead you astray. Perhaps it’s a legitimate avenue of involving yourself with the gospel text that will open your eyes to Christ’s example.5 Only the duet of you and God will find the answer — use the evidence provided. However, as you go along the path of discernment, be neither limp nor crushing. You do not need to crush another person in your analysis. Every interlocutor deserves respect — including yourself. “Let all that you do be done in love.”6 Debates are always tense, and the “spiritual formation” is made only more intense by being a religious one. Religious debates haven’t always ended well — any cursory reading of the historical record will show beatings, wars, and genocides in the name of religion, God, or belief. No one needs to die, here. No one needs to be hurt. As we continue, join me in dialogue. I offer my hand to you. Peggy Post, Emily Post’s Etiquette: The Definitive Guide to Manners, Completely Revised and Updated. 17th ed. (New York, NY: HarperCollins, 2004) 9. 1

I place this term in quotation marks because it is so laden with negative meaning. With quotation marks I mean for it to indicate the discussion that is currently ongoing in the church. Without quotation marks, in my view spiritual formation is the process of sanctification, of allowing God into my life to form me in Christ’s image as Paul would say in Galatians 4:19. 2

Miroslav Volf, A Public Faith: How Followers of Christ Should Serve the Common Good (Grand Rapids: Brazos Press, 2011) 6, 8. 3

1 Thessalonians 5:21, ESV.

Note that Ellen G. White states, “Many attend religious services, and are refreshed and comforted by the word of God; but through neglect of meditation, watchfulness, and prayer, they lose the blessing… It would be well for us to spend a thoughtful hour each day in contemplation of the life of Christ. We should take it point by point, and let the imagination grasp each scene, especially the closing ones” (Desire of Ages, Nampa, ID: Pacific Press, 1940, p. 83). Interestingly enough, her sentiment that we should imagine these scenes, “point by point,” is almost identical to the language of “Gospel Contemplation” on the Ignatian Spirituality website, found here: http://www.ignatianspirituality.com/ignatian-prayer/the-whathow-why-of-prayer/praying-with-scripture 5

1 Corinthians 16:14, ESV

PERSPECTIVE

09RELIGION

l activity used by lead you astray. mate avenue of inh the gospel text r eyes to Christ’s duet of you and nswer — use the However, as you f discernment, be “Today, many Christian churches are wrestling with shing. You do not Emerging Church concepts. My research has revealed er person in your rlocutor deserves that such concepts are not only knocking on the door of yourself. “Let all Seventh-day Adventist churches too, but have to some extent already entered among us. I share the concerns in love.”6

DR. JON DYBDAHL

PASTOR STEVE WOHLBERG

“A brief statement such as this requires that much be left unsaid. Rather than attempting a detailed defense of my book Hunger (which I freely admit is not a perfect book) I will instead offer three key points that I think relate to the issue at hand. First, I am a lifelong and happy Seventh-day Adventist Christian and, like Pastor Wohlberg, am opposed to all forms of spiritual practice that are out of harmony with the Bible or the Spirit of Prophecy. I wrote Hunger with the purpose of drawing people closer to Jesus so they would not be tempted by false spiritualities. Second, I believe that a growing, Holy Spirit-led Seventh-day Adventist can learn something, even from non-Adventist authors who may hold objectionable views on some subjects. Quoting such an author on one subject does not mean that we are in agreement with all their presuppositions or their views. A brief look at Ellen White’s writings and other Adventists demonstrates that this use is a long-standing practice in Adventism. Finally, in this and in all theological discussions, I would hope that we would shy away from specific public attacks on a fellow Adventist, particularly when we do so without first speaking to that person. Conversations after the fact are good. Conversations beforehand would be even better! Let us pray for one another, be quick to believe the best of one another, and most of all not allow ourselves to be distracted from our primary calling of sharing Jesus with a broken world.”

ys tense, and the expressed in the October 2013 Southern Adventist ” is made only University School of Religion ‘Faculty Statement on the ng a religious one. Emerging Church’1 that has recognized ‘the growing ven’t always end- impact of the EC upon Seventh-day Adventist churches, ry reading of the colleges and universities.’ While addressing this topic ll show beatings, is not the primary focus of White Horse Media — our s in the name of ief. No one needs mission is to reach a lost world with the gospel and needs to be hurt. three angels messages — I have spoken about Emerging me in dialogue. I Church dangers in a few select venues within our church. The Bible says there is ‘a time to keep silence, u.

and a time to speak’ (Eccl. 3:7). As the signs of Christ’s return thicken around us, my hope is that Adventists Etiquette: The Definieverywhere will avoid all Emerging Church errors and mpletely Revised and ork, NY: HarperCollins, counterfeit spiritualities, wherever found, press together (as much as possible), experience genuine revival in the deep truths of the Law of God and the message of Christ tation marks because gative meaning. With our Righteousness, rediscover our mission as God’s for it to indicate the Remnant Church of Bible prophecy, and prepare to live ently ongoing in the in a holy, happy heaven.”

on marks, in my view 1 http://www1.southern.edu/academics/academic-sites/religion/ecstatement.html e process of sanctifinto my life to form me ul would say in Gala-

aith: How Followers of Common Good (Grand 1) 6, 8.

HUNGER: SATISFYING THE LONGING OF YOUR SOUL

states, “Many attend Due to rising controversy, Jon e refreshed and comDybdahl’s book Hunger is no longer d; but through neglect in print. It was first published by ess, and prayer, they Autumn House Publishing, which uld be well for us to was a division of Review and Herald each day in contemPublishing. The criticism that st. We should take it Dybdahl has received regarding his he imagination grasp book centers around two main ideas he closing ones” (Dein the text: the use of prayer and Pacific Press, 1940, p. meditation in Christian devotional h, her sentiment that practices, and the section “For Further se scenes, “point by Reading - Selected Bibliography.” al to the language of uses terms such on the Ignatian Spiri- Dybdahl “Spiritual Disciplines,” ere: http://www.igna- as tian-prayer/the-what- “Contemplative Prayer,” and “Spiritual Formation,” all of which have been ng-with-scripture

revolve around Biblical principles — for example, the use of repentance, confession, and forgiveness as one of the doorways into the Spiritual Disciplines in chapter three. The book ends with a section of selected readings for further information about how to spiritually develop oneself. This begs the questions, “Is it safe and/or moral for Seventh-day Adventists to read from non-Adventist authors?” and, “Can an Adventist read and recommend a section of a book without affirming the entire belief system of the author?”

Listed therein: Authors Henri unreasonably dubbed Emergent Nouwen, Richard Rohr, Thomas Church heresies. The book develops Keating, Dallas Willard, Richard these ideas as Christian practices that

Foster, and Thomas Kelly. An excerpt from Hunger: With the rising popularity in North America and Europe of Eastern and New Age religions, questions about meditation have increased. Something that many Christians may earlier have simply neglected they now fear as a subtle way to bring false teaching into the church. My response is that meditation is like music. A powerful tool for either good or evil, it can be God’s means for growth and inspiration or the devil’s instrument of deception and destruction. Let us look then at the distinctions between Eastern/New Age meditation and true Christian meditation:

Eastern Meditation:

Western/Christian Meditation:

Presupposes impersonal pantheistic

Presupposes personal God

Cosmic Consciousness Aims to escape thought

Begins with Thought

Desires to find self and Cosmic

Wants to meet God in personal

Consciousness inside

relationship

No Bible

Bible central

FEATURE

SPIRITUAL FORMATION 10

“Stay away from non-biblical spiritual disciplines or methods of spiritual formation that are rooted in mysticism such as contemplative prayer, centering prayer, and the emerging church movement in which they are promoted.” - Ted Wilson, General Conference President of the SDA Church

BENJAMIN

ramey

Religion Writer

A few months ago Brooklynn Larson urged me to check out a series of talks presented by the Sacramento Central Church in California. The sermons have rousing titles such as “The Emerging Church Controversy Within Adventism” and “The New Pagan Revival.” Their “Town Hall Panel” featured prominent Adventist speakers like Steve Wohlberg, Stephen Bohr, and even included a Walla Walla University faculty member.1 Obviously this peaked my interest; what is this new emergent pagan revival controversy going on in Adventism and why haven’t I heard or seen anything about it? I began to do a little bit of research. I soon found out that the discussions revolved around a term known as Spiritual Formation. I

had heard the term thrown around a bit during one of my intro courses as a Theology major at Walla Walla University. It was explained to me as a big misunderstanding revolving around the language some authors use to discuss prayer and meditation in Christian devotional practices. Apparently there had been a large number of criticisms surrounding the use of these practices, those that implemented them, and the influence they have on one’s spiritual life. When I began this project I expected to come to some sort of grand conclusion about the whole ordeal, some way in which I could mend what at first looked to be two warring schools of thought. An idealistic hope, but with noble intentions. Looking back now I’m

having trouble not just becoming extremely cynical. First I will attempt to explain what Spiritual Formation is, where the concept started, and relate it to the current discussions plaguing our churches. Next we’ll hone in on why Walla Walla University and many of its employees, current and former, have been criticized by a particular groups of Seventhday Adventists most notably members of Operation Iceberg.2 The third section will have a few quick readings representing the University’s response, and lastly I’ll present a few comments responding personally to the affair.

AN INTRODUCTION TO SPIRITUAL FORMATION AND THE EMERGENT CHURCH:

WHAT IS IT AND WHY IS IT THOUGHT DANGEROUS? The term Spiritual Formation is widely used in Christianity to describe the disciplines one practices in order to develop oneself spiritually in Jesus — simply put, “to form spiritually.” The 1997 edition of the “Seventh-day Adventist Minister’s Handbook” spends a chapter instructing ministers on Spiritual Formation, which includes reading, meditation, praise prayer, penitential prayer, and intercessory prayer. Spiritual Formation is included since it is essential to a pastor's leadership, preaching and courage.3 The Omega Prophecy refers to a letter Ellen G.White wrote to Dr. John Harvey Kellogg (the cereal guy), concerning his book Living Temple. White feared that Kellogg's book promoted pantheism and pagan spirituality and labeled it the alpha of heresies by which the Omega heresy would soon follow to usher in the end times. The current controversy over Spiritual Formation is labeled by some to be that heresy (Letter 265, 1903, pp. 1-7). The Emergent Church is a more ambiguous term used by various critics to label the perceived threats of Spiritual Formation invading Christianity systematically. Ultimately the term doesn’t have a straight definition but I called Pas-

tor Steve Wohlberg author of the pocketbook The Emergent Church Trap to gain some answers as to what he and others mean by it. Wohlberg explained to me that the Emergent Church is an interdenominational and even inter-religious movement that attempts to persuade the Church to give up its institutional focus and shift in order to become relevant with modern society. It focuses on experience and tends to highlight spiritual disciplines above church doctrine.4 The origins of Spiritual Formation and spiritual disciplines can be traced back to early monastic movements starting with St. Anthony, but a more important link can be made to the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries with the catholic mystics. In many areas of Europe a reform movement within the Catholic Church emerged that taught a modern devotion that “consisted mainly of a life of disciplined devotion centered on the contemplation of the life of Christ and on its imitation.” The mystics wanted to personalize the Christian faith; they wanted common people to experience God in a personal way. The Brethren of the Common life founded by Gerhard Groote “set out to attack corruption in the church and to call his followers to renewed

holiness and devotion.”5 Spiritual Formation is rooted in the story of Jesus and in the New Testament where such acts as prayer, Bible-reading, Sabbath-keeping and service are encouraged. Paul, addressing believers, hopes for a time when “Christ is formed in you” (Gal. 4:19, ESV), language that suggests the term “spiritual formation.” The history behind Spiritual Formation as a discipline has led many critics such as David Fielder and others at Operation Iceberg and publishing house Remnant Publications to draw connections between modern Spiritual Formation and its Catholic heritage — they suspect that if it’s Catholic, there must be something sinister about it. Note: “Operation Iceberg is a self-supporting [Adventist] ministry… Operation Iceberg’s aim is to teach and share the historic and present truths, while at the same time expose heresy and aberrant teachings that threaten to undermine the historic faith.”6 Operation Iceberg hosts meetings at Adventist churches and write books that propagate fear-based arguments to stir up the remnant against anyone or anything that may be promoting personal devotion to Christ

above church doctrine — the long held truths given to the Adventist movement by God himself. Using sources from Wikipedia, Fielder encourages readers to discover the history of Christian mysticism in his book Tremble; this tactic allies modern Adventist approaches to personal devotion with Catholic disciplines, thereby demonizing the practices themselves because of their Catholic heritage.7 But Fielder and other authors conveniently leave out not only the biblical background of Spiritual Formation but also the Catholic response to early mysticism in their works. Catholic authorities felt threatened by the movements because of the reliance on an individual experience with God which thereby cut out the middlemen, priests, bishops, and most importantly Catholic Doctrine. The church did not take kindly to any challenge to their God-given authority to dictate how one should experience God through Christianity.8 The Catholic hierarchy responded and sentenced a number of mystics like Meister Eckhart to death.

FEATURE

11 SPIRITUAL FORMATION

WHY WALLA WALLA? Adventist schools including Walla Walla College ended up on a danger list created by Lighthouse Trails because of courses like the one at Andrews University titled “Spiritual Formation.” These classes were and still are a hit! They were always well attended by theology and non-theology students alike; they teach basic principles of christian devotion: Bible study, prayer, meditation. As Andrews University sumarizes, In academic circles the expression spiritual formation is a synonym for spiritual growth toward godly maturity, or the process of Christian discipleship and sanctification."9

“Silence and solitude play a crucial role in our spiritual life. They remind us of how much we use our words and actions to defend ourselves and our influence (manipulating?) others… Silence and Solitude often allow voices, needs, past wounds and hurts, as well as inner fears, etc. to surface. Solitude and silence create space for God to speak and act. Last but not least, solitude and quite give us physical and mental rest. ” 10

With other Seventh-day Adventist campuses, Walla Walla University has supported the One Project. Just this last February during the annual One Project Gathering titled “The Sermon,” the WWU Campus ministries team flew down to work as support staff for the entire weekend. WWU President John McVay and Pastor Alex Bryan were both presenters and were met with enthusiasm. Our University’s support of the One Project can readily be seen, we even have a student employee working yearlong as the Campus Ministries One Project Coordinator.

Many of you might be surprised to hear that Alex Bryan has been the center of heaps of controversy over the years. He takes flak from all sides; opponents love to take pot shots at our University Church pastor for his involvement in The One Project as well as for some of his published works, such as The Green Cord Dream. Since Pastor Alex resides in College Place and teaches at Walla Walla University, the whole campus gets loosely tied in.

THE ONE PROJECT: The One Project is a movement co-founded by Alex Bryan and others after a pastors’ retreat. They realized that their experience needed to be shared and enjoyed broadly by other christians, it involves highlighting the supremacy of Jesus with Adventism. This is represented by their slogan “Jesus. All.”

Operation Iceberg has targeted the One Project for their primary focus “Jesus. All.” stating that a message filled with the love of Christ apart from Adventist doctrine is mistaken and even dangerous. One cannot be had without the other; if the long held truths of the Seventh-day Adventist church are overshadowed by a message that does not set us apart from other Christians our church will lose its potency.

Jon Dybdahl, a beloved former professor and previous president of WWU, gained the attention of our heresy-seeking friends after publishing a book titled, Hunger: Satisfying the Hunger of Your Soul. Dr. Dybdahl is criticized for lessons such as the following on solitude and simplicity:

“We are committed to the idea that a Jesus-driven, Jesus-bathed, Jesus-backed, Jesus-led, Jesus-filled, Jesus-powered, all-about-Jesus Adventist Church is the uncompromising directive from our past, the joy of our present, and hope for our future. We claim the Primal Adventist Impulse: a longing to be with Jesus.” 11

Fielder’s book attempts to draw connections between those associated with the One Project to show that the conspiracy, those promoting dangerous ideas, are woven throughout our church system. He leaves out notable names such as John McVay, and Dwight Nelson; apparently Fielder is trying to chose his battles wisely.

OUR UNIVERSITY’S RESPONSE: Responses have varied and the University has generally taken a hands-off approach, refusing to answer many of accusations specifcally, but two notable works should be mentioned. The idea that Spiritual Formation practices have infiltrated our church and now permeate modern Adventist theology at places like WWU is not new. John McVay: “The attackers — ‘the accusers of the brethren,’ if I may call them that — offer criticisms that are low on content and high on innuendo, half-truth, and damnation by association. They offer their accusations from afar without

engaging the people they accuse (see Matthew 18:15-17). Those of us who know the people being attacked, who regularly listen to them teach Sabbath School classes and preach and participate in committee meetings, simply do not recognize the extreme caricature the attackers offer. We know these people they attack to be godly and faithful Seventh-day Adventists who are working hard to draw others to truth.”13 Dave Thomas: “Behind the scenes there is believed to be a great conspiracy involving a long laundry list of people and agencies, including a

host of Adventist leaders and educators, who are conspiring together to achieve these diabolical ends. The greatest fear is that if one gets involved with spiritual formation, the devil will gain access to the inner sanctum of life and will hypnotize a person without their even knowing it. Even the very elect are cautioned to beware lest they be deceived. Astonishingly, and very cunningly, the key avenue for the devil to perpetrate his designs is thought to be by way of devotional exercises themselves. Even the simple act of sitting in silence while meditating is feared as a possible avenue for the devil.”14

CONCLUSION: Much time is wasted worrying about the beliefs and intentions of others within the church, it is horrendous that even such controversies need to be spoken about or dealt with. The real danger to be found here isn’t in the Spiritual Disciplines, The One Project, or the teachings of Alex Bryan. The Adventist Church is in danger of propagathttp://operationiceberg.com/media/, Town Hall Meeting Featured guest Don Riley Ph.D 2 Non-Adventists sources have criticized WWU as well as other Adventist institutions, but for the purposes of this article we’ll only address Adventists responses – keeping it in the family folks 3 Seventh-day Adventist Minister's Manual 1997, pgs. 21-25 4 Interview with Pastor Steve Wohlberg of White Horse Media and an Operation Iceberg associate – December 22, 2014 5 The Story of Christianity by Justo L. González Ph.D pg. 427 1

ing an atmosphere of fear and subjection, one that asks individuals to relinquish control of their own thoughts and hold fast only to what has already been approved at the highest echelons. “Religion is based, I think, primarily and mainly upon fear. It is partly the terror of the unknown and partly, as I have said, the wish to feel that you have a http://operationiceberg.com/about/ Tremble by David Fielder, Pages: 71-72 The Catholic Encyclopedia: An International Work of Reference on the Constitution, Doctrine, Discipline and History of the Catholic Church, Volume 10 9 https://www.andrews.edu/sem/response.html 10 Hunger by Jon Dybdahl Ph.d pgs. 93-94 11 https://the1project.org/about 12 Tremble by David Fielder 159-161 13 Walla Walla University President Issues Statement Against 6 7

kind of elder brother who will stand by you in all your troubles and disputes. Fear is the basis of the whole thing — fear of the mysterious, fear of defeat, fear of death. Fear is the parent of cruelty, and therefore it is no wonder if cruelty and religion have gone hand‐ in‐hand. It is because fear is at the basis of those two things.”15 “Sinister Accusations” by John McVay http://spectrummagazine.org/article/john-mcvay/2014/11/26/ walla-walla-university-president-issues-statement-against-sinister-acc 14 The The Great “Spiritual Formation” Kerfuffle by David E. Thomas http://spectrummagazine.org/sites/default/files/spectrum_ journal/40.1_Winter%202012_Spectrum_WEB_file.pdf (page 44) 15 Why I Am Not a Christian by Bertrand Russell

DEFINITIONS Spiritual Formation: To form oneself spiritually in Christ Emergent Church: Ambiguos Omega Prophecy: Thought to be end time heresy — Ellen White

THE BLACK LIST Notable names on Dave Fielder’s ambiguous list of conspicuous individuals associated with the One Project. It implies some sort of underground movement or connection that brings these individuals together. 12

Alex Bryan Senior Pastor Walla Walla University Church

Paddy McCoy University Chaplain Walla Walla University

Tommy Poole Associate Chaplain Walla Walla University

Dilys Brooks Associate Campus Chaplain Loma Linda University

Sam Leonor University Chaplain La Sierra University

Garrett Speyer Youth Pastor Loma Linda University Church

FEATURE

SPIRITUAL FORMATION 12

Now What? And Other Questions For WWU BROOKLYNN

larson Contributor

As you just read, there is much talk about Spiritual Formation, the Emergent Church, and the future of the Seventh-day Adventist Church. A part of this talk is criticism and concern directed at Walla Walla University as an institution as well as specific members of the Walla Walla University community and University Church family. Below is my analysis of the major

issues facing WWU in the context of the Spiritual Formation and Emergent Church debate. Please keep in mind that the following interpretations and considerations are representative of my perspective as a Walla Walla University student. I do not represent the sentiments of WWU staff, faculty, or administration in any official capacity.

QUESTION 1 HOW SHOULD WWU REACT TO CRITICISM AND CONCERNS REGARDING SPIRITUAL FORMATION AND THE EMERGENT CHURCH? OPTION 1

OPTION 2

OPTION 3

Ignore The Issue

Attack the Attackers

Stand Firm

Ignoring the Spiritual Formation issue is tempting, particularly for people who do not even see Spiritual Formation, the Emergent Church, or the issues surrounding them as issues at all. On an individual level, simply picking your battles and ignoring an issue that is not important to you is an easy path to take, albeit not a particularly intellectually honest one. But for an institution made up of critical thinkers and Christians dedicated to serving those around them, ignoring our fellow Christians’ meaningful criticism* is not an option. Intellectually, we cannot claim to be an institution of higher learning while completely ignoring meaningful criticisms from people who have different or unique opinions and the best interest of WWU at heart. As Christians, we are also obligated to treat those around us with respect, part of which requires listening to those around us and recognizing the difference in opinion that exists. Healthy assessments and discussions about issues such as Spiritual Formation and the Emergent Church provide Walla Walla University with an opportunity to remain a balanced, grounded, and inclusive institution. *There is one caveat that I wish to include here: the criticisms and concerns offered to WWU must be meaningful in order to be considered. Criticisms based on circular reasoning or any other logical fallacies are not meaningful. Furthermore, criticisms that are so far out of the range of reality or are given in the form of gossip, personal attacks, and innuendo do not help the University to improve; they function to defame and tear down WWU. Any criticism or concern that is not approached within the Christian context of Matthew 15:18 is not only useless in the context of improving WWU, but is also in direct conflict with the explicit instruction of Jesus Christ.

As I stated in my caveat, meaningful criticism can help WWU remain balanced and inclusive to people of many different opinions. Unfortunately, not all criticisms and concerns regarding Spiritual Formation and the Emergent Church have been meaningful. In fact, many have been “low on content and high on innuendo, half-truth, and damnation by association,” to quote President John McVay.1 Attacks like these are harmful to everyone involved and are particularly harmful to the unity and health of the church. Attacks like these are unchristian, unethical, and fruitless for everyone involved. Although it would be satisfying for those who would like to silence WWU’s critics or get revenge on some level, an attack is against the very principles Jesus outlined in Matthew 5.2 It is for these reasons that Walla Walla University cannot and should not engage in counterattacks aimed at those who perpetuate rumor, gossip, half-truth, and innuendo.

Instead of ignoring the meaningful concerns of well-intentioned Christians or attacking those who attack WWU, Walla Walla University has chosen a different option entirely. Walla Walla University remains unwaveringly and openly dedicated to biblical truth, Seventh-day Adventist heritage, beliefs, and values, and the passionate pursuit of Christ. It is in that context that WWU responds to and addresses meaningful criticism of any kind, including criticism and concern regarding Spiritual Formation and the Emergent Church.

As Christians, we are also obligated to treat those around us with respect, part of which requires listening to those around us and recognizing the difference in opinion that exists.

FEATURE

13 SPIRITUAL FORMATION

QUESTION 2 WHAT IF CRITICISM COMES FROM WITHIN WWU? As an academic institution dedicated to “Excellence in Thought,” it would be antithetical to WWU’s core beliefs for anyone to suggest that its faculty, staff, students, administration, and community members cannot disagree with WWU’s actions or beliefs on some level. It takes all kinds of people to make up a working community and not everyone is going to agree with everything that happens here. Any member of WWU’s community should feel free to vocalize their meaningful concerns and criticisms. However, they must address their conflicts in the biblical and Christ-like manner outlined in Any member Matthew 15:18 that is practiced on this campus. Diversity of opinion of WWU’s and thought should be welcome on this campus. community

should feel free to vocalize their meaningful concerns and criticisms.

That said, if criticisms and concerns are not meaningful and violate WWU’s other core belief in “Beauty in Expression,” the situation is entirely different. Ugly, mean-spirited, unchristian, unhelpful, derogatory, insensitive, bully-like, discriminatory, untrue, and defamatory statements directed towards any group or person should not be tolerated from WWU faculty, staff, administration, or students. Even statements veiled in “bless his/her heart” concern that have any of the underlying intent or effects of the qualities listed above should be addressed in the same manner. Walla Walla University is a friendly place. Everyone should feel at home here. Sharing concerns about WWU, or defending WWU, should never be a reason for abandoning Christ-like love in favor of

invective or attack. We all learned earlier this year that WWU is willing to ban an entire social media platform in order to maintain a standard of “Caring For Others Online and Off.”3 In the same way, WWU should care for and protect its members while guarding its reputation as a University that upholds Christ-like behavior. If a faculty or staff member, administrator, or student continually and unrepentantly engages in defamatory, rude, offensive, untrue, or accusatory speech about WWU or a member of WWU, on campus or off, outside of the context of Matthew 15:18, they are not and should not be welcome here.

Sharing concerns about WWU, or defending WWU, should never be a reason for abandoning Christ-like love in favor of invective or attack.

QUESTION 3 HOW SHOULD WWU AFFIRM THOSE WHO VOICE MEANINGFUL CONCERNS?

I have never been on the receiving end of WWU’s response to appropriate criticism regarding Spiritual Formation or the Emergent Church. I have no concern about WWU in the context of Spiritual Formation or the Emergent Church, so I have written no letters or emails, made no phone calls, and met with no administrators regarding these issues. Consequently I cannot state what WWU’s individual responses to worried community members have been.

I will comment, though, on what I believe the appropriate response to any meaningful concern should be. The proper response, I believe, is one of thanks. WWU has an immense community of wonderful, well-meaning, and watchful people that only want the best for everyone involved. Critics who provide meaningful concerns should know that WWU appreciates their care, concern, and willingness to speak up about potential issues and conflicts they identify.

A note to those of you out there who care about WWU and aren’t afraid to speak up: Thank you. Your voice is being heard, and we will continue to listen to all perspectives that are presented in an appropriate manner. Whether we agree or decide to agree to disagree, your input is valued here on campus. Please continue your constructive, Christ-like, and careful attitude and actions towards WWU.

CONCLUSION These questions do not have easy answers. The insights listed above represent one perspective and one approach to an issue that is not only sensitive but also complex. When considering where you fit into this debate, please consider this: we are all children of God. Healthy debate and discussion has its place. Genuine concern has its place as well. As we consider all the paradigms and opinions involved, let’s all live by the standard that Ellen White set in her testimony to the Battle Creek Church: “Christ is our example in all things.”4

http://www.wallawalla.edu/fileadmin/_temp_/McVay_ statement_11.20.14.pdf. 2 Matthew 5:21-26, 38-48. 3WWU students will recognize my reference to WWU Administration’s decision to ban Yik Yak in response to bullying and shaming. 4 http://text.egwwritings.org/publication.

LIFE

CULTURE 14

THE WILLOW AND THE BUILDER davis Culture Writer I set my sights on the willow tree In the back of my backyard I knew it wilted, so I stilted it With wood that I had carved I hammered nails and measured things And built a sturdy floor It took me six or seven days Until it needed nothing more… On a dark, cold, Connecticut night, Richard Miron and Adrian Simon set out to build a concept album that defied the rules of modern music production. Throwing aside common norms such as traditional hooks, catchy themes, and cliché song topics, this young duo threw the norms to the wind and let their imaginations soar free. From these writing and recording sessions came a project called “The Willow and the Builder.”

Just a week to build my home

And I almost lost my grip

She said before she left,

I threw it in and turned my chin

“I’ve spent a lifetime on the ground,

And there were her two lips

I never though of, never dreamed of,

She said, “Are you alone?”

What a magic place you found…”

I nodded yes, and then she took my sleeve She said, “This house was made for two” And then fell in on top of me... No rules. No guidelines. No labels breathing down their neck. Just two guys, some musician friends, and the magic of youth. The most amazing thing about this album to me was the writing process. The duo decided on the title “The Willow and the Builder” and then separated for a period of three weeks, writing their own songs and not sharing them with each other. Then finally they got together and shared a magical moment where they played their songs to each other, tweaking and adjusting the sound to blend a storyline that follows the title “The Willow and the Builder.” People come and people go And sometimes I’m alone I think it’s funny how it took me

the kaleidoscope New discoveries, far and near. Songs, books, and art, it’s shared right here.

The musical story revolves around the childhood magic of running through the backyard, picking out a willow tree to build a tree house in. We can all relate to the imaginary adventures that happen in tree houses, and this tree becomes a sort of friend to the child. As both the “builder” and the tree grow, good times and hard times come upon both. But along the journey we learn about growing, loving, and letting go. Written as a beautiful allegory for these things, the sadness of the willow is brought to life by the builder who finds beauty and recovery in its branches. And I said, “I don’t find, it finds me I combine magic things and you, You were the missing piece.” To download this wonderful album for free or by donation, visit www. thewillowandthebuilder.bandcamp. com

TRACK PLAYLIST:

RIVER

I climbed up there with a beanbag chair

1. Teahouse Treehouse

5. Rosaline

2. Heartache

6. What’s Next

3. A Vast Emptiness

7. Oh Willow! (Why Wallow?)

4. Mansion Man

8. Cut It Down

TELESCOPE

Wiz Khalifa: Somehow I JUST heard the rapper’s song “See You Again” for the first time this week. I was blown away because it Kings Kaleidoscope: was the first time I had heard this 10-piece band is a new discovery to me; the other Wiz Khalifa actually sound like day I stumbled across he was fully, mentally present. their song “Zion.” The raw Teaming up with Charlie Puth, vocals of Chad Gardner Arboretum: the duo featured this song ring blend with the clean Remember this band? If you used to on the movie Furious 7 as a tones of a worn-out Fender attende The Awakening at WWU, chances tribute to the late Paul Walker. Telecaster, occasionally are you’ve heard these guys sing. After a time Between the crystal-clear graced by several stacked of silence, local band Arboretum finally got back vocals of Charlie Puth and the vocal harmonies as the song together and recorded a new song “Across the Shore.” slick, meaningful rhymes of blooms. Written as a tribute Check out this fresh new song at the Arboretum Facebook Wiz, this song is a beautiful to a lost friend, this song page! tribute to the importance of echoes true emotions of love and loss, as well as hope for friends and family. a better place.

SCOPE

MICROSCOPE

vickyflipfloptravels.co

LIFE

15 FOOD

vickyflipfloptravels.com

RACHEL

PETERSON Food Writer

I’d love to get feedback from you! Send me an email if you have any comments or suggestions for recipes you’d like to see featured at rachel.peterson@ wallawalla.edu

WHITE BEAN CHILI This is one of the best chilis I have ever had! Adapted from the personal recipe box of Content Editor, Carolyn Green, this chili can be perfectly paired with crusty French bread, and is an “any day” comfort food. Rosemary helps to give this dish an incredibly delicious flavor.

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RECIPE BROWN RICE AND LENTIL CASSEROLE I N G R E D I E N TS 1 tbsp. fresh garlic, minced 3 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil (I used grapeseed oil which also worked great) 1 tbsp. fresh rosemary 15 oz. diced tomatoes 5 cans white beans Desired amount of Tofurky Kielbasa meatless sausage or Turkey Kielbasa, thickly sliced and cut into 1/4 in. rounds

me ack Shore.” Facebook

Desired amount of spinach Rachel Peterson

I N ST R U C T I O N S 1. Sauté garlic in oil over medium heat for 30 seconds to a minute. 2. Add meatless sausage and sauté until golden brown, then add diced tomatoes and simmer about 2 minutes. 3. Next, add beans (drained). Cook until beans are soft (about 20 minutes). 4. Remove chili from heat and add fresh rosemary and as much or spinach as you like. I love spinach and since it cooks down substantially I ended up adding quite a bit.

PERSPECTIVE

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PERSPECTIVE 17 CW/CW

Creative

WRITING

Collegian

MEMA

WISDOM

BY RACHEL BLAKE

Hillary Clinton, Ben Carson Lead With Millennial Voters

She’s crazy. There’s no more to be said.

ABIGAIL

wissink Creative Curator

If you’d like to submit your poetry, prose, songs, or any kind of creative writing, email me at abigail.wissink@ wallawalla.edu

Because they have so much in common

Not that she doesn’t care or that her absence is based on bad intentions, she just can’t leave her house

China Says: Please stop hiring funeral strippers

To venture outside of her coffee and gin, or

Bans mourning wood

Her many responsibilities: Kendrick Lamar teams up with health food company for ‘Beets Don’t Kale My Vibe’ salad

Watering the plants, Feeding the terrier, Lunch with Roberta, Father Simon’s mass.

You can find more poetry written by Rachel Blake in the 2015 Gadfly.

Not to be outdone, Eminem records “Cleaning Out My Bowels”

Wedged into routines and Irresponsible shopping habits, She must comb through every aisle.

President Obama thanks Japan for giving us manga and anime

There might be something she needs. Something she didn’t see yesterday. And at night she lies, still.

Malia Obama says she’s Hatsune Muki’s biggest fan

Cemented in the walls and the halls. She won’t budge.

Women In Russia Jailed For ‘Twerking’ At WWII Memorial

Not for me, Mom’s wedding, Or your graduation.

She said it was a “Zhukov Shake-off”

video

vimeo.com/aswwu

Go to Class When you don’t go to class, things get crazy...

Ted Wilson meets with UN Secretary General to guard religious freedom Wanted to Ban unChristian new world order.

LIFE

#thecollegian 18

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@natasha.nantasai

@mirandatowler

LIFE

19 HUMOR

“MY OH MY SUCH STRANGE SUPPLIES. MANY SPOONS ALL IN A PILE. DID YOU BEND ‘EM WITH YOUR MIND?” alk cre

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THANK YOU NOTES with LAUREN LEWIS

Thank you, Alumni Weekend Car Show, for showing me what I can aspire to own after paying off all my loans. So shiny. A dream of the not so near future. Thank you, elderflower Italian sodas at the Atlas, for creating a drink that makes me

feel sophisticated and confused. What is elderflower, and is there a youngerflower? Thank you, WWU Softball intramural, for not providing helmets. FYI, softballs are not soft.

Thank you, wild turkey that lives near Home Depot, for making me scream and pee my pants a lil’ as you attempted to fly across the street and in front of my car. That bird will dent your car! Reason #34 why I don’t like birds.

Thank you, Mt. View Apartments, for the one picnic table. It’s better than none right? Are they forcing residents to mingle?

Thank you, new Snapchat update, for thoroughly consuming me. What does the smiley face with the sunglasses mean?

Thank you, G.O.T. for coming back and providing me an hour of angst on Sunday nights! Dragons> Homework.

Thank you, Hot Mama’s Coffee shop, for scaring me to death. Don’t hang body suits from the ceiling! Why?!

Thank you, Spring Quarter sunny days, for making me forget about my homework. I thought winter quarter was bad for focusing on homework.

Thank you, battle ropes in the Fitness Center, for providing 1-5 minute hilarious episodes of clenched, red, angry and determined faces.

Thank you, Walla Walla windmill technicians, for reminding my friends and I that the windmills are built on private property and that you can call the cops or shoot us. Don’t assume they don’t work on the weekends. Maybe they should stop — they might be less cranky.

Thank you, Glass Animals, for making a song called “Walla Walla.” Weird music publicity is good publicity. Thank you, construction on Whitman Dr. for making College Place smell like a Honeybucket. I thought we were done with this nonsense?! Flashback to two years ago.

The Title Game is here! The first to email me at lauren. lewis2@wallawalla.edu, with the author of the title quote will win a homemade baked good. Yum! Good luck!

SNAPCHAT

lewis Humor Writer

thecollegian

I hope ya’ll don’t mind, but I need a break from thinking deeply about my spirituality. So instead I am going to spend my page writing thank you notes. Enjoy.

LAUREN

CONTEXT

TRAVEL 20

LAUREN

lewis Humor Writer

TRAVEL WITH MUSIC Traveling is my second love, but music is truly my first. Then chocolate cake, reading, and freeze-frames of Olympic high divers come in third, fourth, and fifth. If you allow me to experience all of these things at once, I will faint from happiness and then regain my composure to hug or high five you. Sadly, bringing all of these things together takes planning, so if I were forced to choose only two, out of necessity, I would pick traveling

PORTLAND

SEATTLE

and music. I choose these because each builds upon the other. A very wise Sherpa/photographer named Amit once told me, “Life without music is like curry without salt.” I think this perfectly characterizes what I am trying to prove. Life with music, just like curry with salt, is exponentially better. Therefore, I have made a playlist for all of you. I recognize that during this busy time of spring and studies you probably won’t have time to run

SPOKANE

“Keep it Weird”

Enjoy the rain

For Bloomsday weekend

“Coquete Coquette” Of Montreal

“Blue Skies” Noah and the Whale

“Rollercoaster” Bleacher

BENNINGTON LAKE It’s not really a lake

“Gooey” Glass Animals

GOING TO VESPERS Get pumped to ask that girl for her number

JOSEPH,OR Simply enjoy the mountains “Lights Out, Words Gone” Bombay Bicycle Club

WESTERN CIV.

Get through your history class “Greek Tragedy” The Wombats

“My Number” The Foals

This is so cheesy you may need to bring crackers

tellmysons.com

“The Promise” When in Rome

Relax

“New Shoes” Paolo Nutini

“Lonesome Dreams” Lord Huron

“Budapest” George Ezra

“Oblivion” The Indians

GOING TO A WEDDING

Be confident

It’s so far away; listen to

Chill

ROOKS PARK

MIDTERMS

WALLA WALLA ROASTERY

HAMMOCKING @ PIONEER PARK

off to Paris. However, I hope you listen to these songs as you run off to Rooks Park, Palouse Falls, Seattle, Portland, Spokane, Joseph, and all the other great places within a few hundred miles from here. Even if you can only travel to vespers tomorrow, presentations next week, or graduation in the near or far future, I hope you enjoy and have a great week!

GRADUATION

SWIMMING IN THE W.W. RIVER

The real world is coming

Get wet and wild

“Once in a Lifetime” Talking Heads

“10,000 Emerald Pools” BORNS

HEADING TO THE FAC

PROPOSALS

Get stoked about instruments with this wicked sax solo

Get your girl or guy to say, “Yes” and “I Do”

“Jubel” Klingande

“I Do” Flagship

ASWWU CASABLANCA

GOING TO THE GYM

Get your date to say, “Yes”

Sweat

“You and I” Wilco

“Work This Body” Walk the Moon virginactive.co.uk

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tive.co.uk

LIFE

21 FASHION

ALYSSA

hartwick Fashion Writer Did you know that H&M has premium products at inexpensive prices? This is heavenly for those who love high-quality clothing but don’t want to pay sky-high prices. The H&M website is the first place I always go. These products can be easily accessed by selecting “Ladies” or “Men,” and under the “Selected” category there is a link to “Premium Quality products.” Happy shopping!

Response to Last Week’s Article “A Fashion Renaissance” Globalization seems to be the trend for this century. Traditionally Western forms have conquered global fashions over the course of the 20th century. But while shirts and pants have become the norm in mainstream fashions across the world, many subcultures have developed their own unique styles that might end up catching on. Refinery29’s mini-series “Style Out There” with Asha Leo takes a look at six of these styles, from Korea’s matchymatchy couples to Hasidic designers in New York making modesty fashionable, allowing each of these communities to share why they love the way they dress. – Tyler Jacobson

H&M PREMIUM QUALITY UNDER $50

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Silk Blouse, $29.95

Suede Bag, $39.95

Silk-blend Polo Shirt, $29.95

Premium Cotton Shirt, $29.95

Narrow Leather Belt, $12.95

Wool Hat, $29.95

Reversible Leather Belt, $29.95

Suede Loafers, $49.95

LADIES

GENTS

LIFE

SCIENCE 22

WOLVE

SPR

scriptgodsmustdie.com

THE MATRIX WRITERS DON’T WANT YOU TO LEARN THIS ONE WEIRD TRUTH! DANIEL

hulse Science Writer As I’ve written before, movie makers rarely attempt to create movies with accurate physics. The problem is so widespread that it prompted a book: Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics: Hollywood’s Best Mistakes, Goofs, and Flat-Out Destructions of the Basic Laws of the Universe by Tom Rogers. The fact is, bad movie physics can be more than insulting, they can be misleading about things that are important but difficult to understand. The laws of thermodynamics, for example, are important and relevant for people to know, because without knowing that energy is conserved, perpetual motion machines look like good investments.

Without the knowledge that energy is conserved, a car that performs electrolysis on water to get hydrogen and oxygen which it then burns to get power to drive the wheels and perform electrolysis sounds like a good idea. But it’s not; the energy produced by burning the hydrogen will at the very most be the same as the energy consumed by electrolysis, and in most cases would be much less due to the inefficiencies inherent in converting energy. The Matrix may be the biggest offender in getting thermodynamics wrong. In The Matrix, (spoiler alert) intelligent machines have taken over the world and have relegated humans to containment tanks where they generate electricity by living their lives in a virtual reality that is the eponymous matrix. Of course, it’s a terrible idea, one that garnered a hilarious aside in an episode of Futurama:*

“LEELA: Their bodies are used to generate electricity. The idea came from an old movie called The Matrix BENDER: But... But wouldn’t almost anything make a better battery than a human body? Like a potato... or a battery? FRY: Plus no matter how much energy they produce, it would take more energy than that to keep them alive. LEELA: I know, I know, it sounds absurd. In fact, when The Matrix first came out, it seemed like the single crummiest, laziest, most awful dimwitted idea in the entire history of science fiction. ...”

And their criticisms are correct! Humans are not a good power source — we consume much more food than we “produce” electricity. Even if all the energy in the world was stuck in food, it would be much easier and more efficient to just burn all of the food to

run an engine to power a generator than to sustain an entire human populace to get the small amount of energy from whatever electrical signals go on in the body. To illustrate this further, I’m going to use some numbers and do some arithmetic with some estimated numbers. The amps required to feel a shock at 600 volts (V) is 0.005 amps (A).1 These numbers give the electrical power that can be transferred through someone without serious medical damage: 600V * 0.005A = 3 watts (W). Conversely, an “average” man’s basal (resting) metabolic rate is about 1,650 dietary calories per day, or about 80W. So, any device using humans as a mechanism to transfer energy is going to be terribly inefficient, with a maximum efficiency of about 3/80 = 3.75%, not taking into account transporting the food, removing the waste, and providing a habitable environment, which would consume much, much more energy.

Powering an entire world of, say, 1 billion machines that consume 1,000 W (an ample desktop power supply), would require 1,000,000,000 * 1,000W * (1/0.0375) * (1/3W) = 3.33 * 10^11 humans, or 333 humans for every machine. Given that the machines consume 1000W each, I would suspect 333 humans could readily overpower one. So, really, the shoddy justification used in The Matrix is not just unreasonable, it’s self defeating, because not only would the machines have to be incredibly stupid to use the humans as a power source, they’d have to be outnumbered 333-to-one. Way to go Wachowskis, you really borked this one up.

*Many of the writers of Futurama are mathematicians. I like to think this bit of dialogue comes as a direct message from them. https://sciencebasedlife.wordpress. com/2012/02/02/how-much-voltage-can-youtake-on-before-you-die/ 1

LIFE

23 SPORTS

swishersociety.com

ROUND 1 : NACHO PLATTER WOLVES RUNNING RECAP:

SPRING EDITION

If you have found yourself wandering around outside after class or on a Sunday afternoon, you are probably well aware that it’s a great time for any and all spring ALEX sports and activities. And while your intramural soccer team may have a goal differSports Writer ential of -39, or your softball squad is still searching for the most sensible batting order, we can appreciate the fact that we are outside again. Summer is on its way.

wagner

WWU’s varsity softball team wrapped up their season on a high note this past weekend. Hosting club squads from Eastern Washington, and Washington State University, the Wolves won big against both teams. Against EWU, Devyn Diorio and Rilei Hill

With any plate of nachos you should expect to be satisfied and to enjoy every bite. Nachos are awesome. However, sometimes the only means of acquiring nachos is going through the Taco Bell drive-thru, waiting in line too long, and ending up with a soggy, sloppy disappointment. Just like nachos, the NBA playoffs are fantastic most of the time, but round one served up a mixture of cheesy crispy goodness and unappetizing disappointment. wallawalla.edu

each had two hits and three RBIs as part of a 12-4 Wolves victory. Later that day, pitcher Nicole Brown had one of her best games of the season. Brown threw seven innings of three hit ball, giving up one run and striking out seven batters, leading the team to a 4-1 win. On Thursday night, the Walla Walla University men’s club volleyball team is scheduled to play Whitman College at 8:00 P.M. in the WEC. In case you are unfamiliar with the team, or don’t really know much about them, the Wolves Club plays against other college club teams from around the Northwest, including the University of Washington, WSU, Whitman, Gonzaga, and the University of Idaho. They play in tournaments hosted through an organization called the Pacific Intercollegiate Volleyball Association (PIVA) and have performed well in competition. Be sure to come out and support them for this intertown showdown.

CRISPY Even though it was a sweep, the Golden State/New Orleans series was fantastic. It gave the same feeling you get from going to a concert. The Pelicans kind of felt like the opening band who has just released a successful EP, and Anthony Davis almost stole the show. But the Warriors were the headliner. The Stephen Curry shot at the end of game three with his eyes closed, falling down, was a reminder how great he has been this year and how great his team is. The Warriors came back from 20 points down and ultimately took care of business. This year’s Boston Celtics team may have been swept by LeBron and the Cavaliers, but man, they played hard considering the huge talent discrepancy between the two teams. There was a lot of roster turnover with the Celtics this year, yet everyone who was on that team was looking to make some sort of contribution in key playoff minutes. Derrick Rose is doing Derrick Rose things! Heavy minutes, strong attacks towards the rim, acrobatic layups, finding open teammates — pretty much everything that disappeared when his knee injuries showed up is back and on display against a young Milwaukee team. The Spurs/Clippers matchup is a showcase of two teams that have a real shot of winning the title, probably the only matchup in the first round where that could be said. It’s like ordering a high end nacho appetizer for $19.99 and being completely satisfied. The downside is you will probably be full by the time the entré comes out. Any chance the winner of this series is worn down when it’s time for round two?

SOGGY “Coach, do you ever expect rajon Rondo to wear a Mavericks uniform again?” When the answer to that question is no and the series isn’t over yet, you know the nachos are soggy. In Raptors/Wizards, there was a lot of talk before this series started that amounted to a whole lot of nothing, especially limited basketball enjoyment. Paul Pierce against the city of Toronto and Wale vs. Drake were the only storylines I could keep up with in the Raptors downfall. Damian Lillard. He couldn’t play effective defense on Mike Conley, Beno Udrih, or Nick Calathes as the Portland defense crumbled behind him. R. Smith swinging and knocking Jae Crowder in the head may as well have been J.R. Smith swinging and coming all the way around to hit himself in the face. Smith faces a suspension following a situation that should have been avoided to begin with.

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Hawks/Nets. This matchup is the definition of soggy nachos. Nets PG Deron Williams finished game two with two points, a huge blown defensive coverage, and a missed game tying shot at the buzzer. Normally great Hawks shooter Kyle Korver responded in game three by shooting 1-8 from the field as the Nets won. Please. I just hope the series is over before I find myself turning on NBATV again.

Other Cheek

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GET ME OUT OF HERE

ABIGAIL

wissink Backpage Writer

I’ve mentioned this a few times over the last few weeks, but I am 100% ready for summer to start. There is nothing I want more than to lay on my couch all day and watch every episode of Game of Thrones (except not really; they’ve absolutely ruined the integrity of the story with the most recent episodes, but that’s beside the point). No matter how much I love summer and being a lazy bum and you probably do too, there are some standard summer activities that many people in our age bracket participate in that are pretty ridiculous and it’s time we talk about it. CONCERTS

her, because and a little

Nothing is worse than being surrounded by sweaty strangers who only vaguely like the band that you’ve been waiting to see all year while you’re trying to jam out. There’s also a 100% chance that you’ll be thirsty and have a random stranger fall on you whilst attempting to crowdsurf. People are the worst, especially when

VERBATIM

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“The Middle East really know what’s up!...As far as food, not like women’s rights or anything.” - Shelby Seibold

“You guys are all going to be single for the rest of your lives.” - Dr. Jim Boyd to his Family and Marriage Life class

“If we wanted the Adventist church to grow we would not have separate dorms!” - Professor Pedrito Maynard-Reid

If you hear something funny, cringe-worthy, or hilarious when heard out of context, send the quote to me! abigail.wissink@wallawalla.edu

“

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they’re pressed so close to you that you can’t move without accidentally touching a stranger’s butt. ROAD TRIPS Who wants to spend a load of money to be crammed in a car for hours on end with the same people and their poor sense of direction? Obviously no one sane. Who needs to see new parts of the world and get out of town when you could see the same places from the comfort of your computer screen? All this experience will leave you with is a hatred for fast food, an empty wallet, and a new appreciation for the term “personal space.” CAMPING I have one word for you: sanitation. You think that cooking over a fire and living in the dirt for a few days is going to help you stay healthy over the summer

months? Think again, friends. Camping will only leave you sweaty, smelling like a campfire, and (if you’re like me) exhausted because it’s ridiculously difficult to sleep on the ground. In all honesty, though, these are all things that many of us have willingly experienced and enjoyed. Is this a sign of youth? Immaturity? Immunity to mosquito bites, large crowds, and the possibility of skin cancer? I dunno. Maybe we only wish for summer for the change of pace. Maybe the old adage is true and the grass is greener on the other side. Maybe I’m only whining about these beloved summer activities because they feel so far away with half a quarter of school to go. I don’t think, so, though. I highly doubt that while I’m going on camping adventures and jamming out to Mumford and Sons this summer I’ll be wishing that I was back in midterms week.

HaikuREVIEW INTER

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Thanks for playing last week, friends! Our winner was Brooklynn Larson (again) with the answer ID CARDS. If you’d like to break her winning streak, email me your guesses at abigail.wissink@ wallawalla.edu!

What are you most excited to do this summer? “Teach kids how to ride bikes at camp.” - Matthew Burghart

“Possibly watch a bunch of little kids at a daycare.” - Mae Liongco

“Make money and start to pay off school bills.” - Austin Thompson

Similar to ours but we don’t really see it unless we’re downtown. This might seem tricky; if you are an explorer you may read through this.