Volume 101 Issue 10

The Collegian Walla Walla University

Volume 101

Issue 10

08 DEC 2016

THE BEST OF 2016 5 3 News

11 Humor

15 science

dear reader,

Editor-in-chief Matthew Moran

context

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Can you believe finals are already next week? If this is your first year in college, congratulations on surviving your first quarter of your college career. As the seniors will attest, you have many, many more to come.

As the year wraps up, The Collegian would like to highlight all the crazy things that happened in 2016. There are no words to express the emotional rollercoaster this year was. Whether you think 2016 marks the beginning of the end times (yes, I’m referencing Ebola) or the beginning of "Stranger Things" (probably one of the coolest shows on Netflix), I hope you enjoy our presentation of the best things in 2016.

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Table of Contents | 02 News | 03 Week in Forecast | 04

editor-in-chief Matthew Moran

layout designers Anna-Marie Vargas Claudia Curtis Geoffrey Lopes

assistant editor Abigail Wissink

news writers Kyler Alvord Lauren Epperson

Head layout editor Fränk Ramirez Head Copy editor Sophia Rich Life editor Micah Hall backpage editor Lauren Wahlen

Before I peace out, I want to wish each of you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Remember to take lots of cool pictures and submit your pictures to #thecollegian if you want to get featured in our first issue next year. We are curious about all the exciting things you are going to do over break. For me, I know I'm going to enjoy seeing the fake snow of Disneyland, eating peppermint bark cheesecake at The Cheesecake Factory, and dancing around our Christmas tree (who doesn't enjoy a good prance around the tree as you munch on gingerbread cookies). Also, remember to join in the carols at church as you rejoice in the Reason for the season. I hope you cherish the birth of Christ with friends and family.

Copy Editors Katherine Beckner Lindsey Luna food editor Mason Neil feature editors Brandon Pierce Michael Jensen Ysabela Ramirez Bryndilynn Goodlyn humor writer Micah Hall religion writer Vixie Bailey Cartoonist Emmanuel Perry

Thank you for keeping The Collegian alive through your generous support, encouragement, and contributions.

Without each of you, The Collegian wouldn't be what it is today. We look forward to another great year when we get back!

You can send any comments, questions, or contributions to aswwu. collegian@wallawalla.edu or matthew. moran@wallawalla.edu.

As always, enjoy and IPFY (i.e. I’m praying for you) every day!

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Feature | 05 Devotional & Global Service | 08 Religion & ACA | 09 Creative Writing & Column | 10 #thecollegian & Opinion | 11 Opinion & Collegian Wisdom| 12

opinion writer Yvanna Hammen-Alvarez Joshua Huh columnists Joni Harris & Emily Huso

PEXELS

Humor & Snapshots | 13 Fashion & Culture | 14 Food & Science | 15 Sunny Side Up | 16

If you are interested in contributing to The Collegian, speak with one of our illustrious staff members. The Collegian is enhanced by regularly incorporating a wide range of campus perspectives.

Devotional writer Christina Moran Fashion writer Angelica Chan Culture/travel writer Darling Su ACA/SM Editor Stephanie Septembre Science writer Jordan Brooks Creative writing editor Mac Ford

Cover Credit: Kai Kopitzke The Collegian is the official publication of ASWWU. Its views and opinions are not necessarily the official stance of Walla Walla University or its administration, faculty, staff, or students. Questions, letters, and comments can be sent to aswwu.collegian@wallawalla.edu or matthew.moran@wallawalla.edu.

This issue was completed at 1:30 A.M. on Thursday, December 8, 2016.

global service writer Daniel Villarreal Office Manager AnneMarie Vixie Distributor Jaziel Villalvazo Victoria Ico

The Collegian | Volume 101, Issue 10 | 204 S. College Avenue, College Place, WA 99324 https://issuu.com/aswwucollegian

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NEWS CONTEXT

ARMY SUSPENDS PIPELINE CONSTRUCTION 3 AT STANDING ROCK

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MASON NEIL

NEWS CONTEXT

nc battle

@ASWWU to understand fully what is going on. The for those hoping to prevent the pipeline affect change in our government. The from crossing the Missouri river on Army has denied their previously-granted Dakota Access Pipeline protests are easement stating that Energy Transfer reservation land. While the army has put a modern example of what we have the construction on hold, a new presidential Partners could build on reservation land. previously only seen in textbooks. While ra There were several people there to act haseasement broughtrevokes in many wideadministration could easily undo the victory While the This denialweek of this the election revealed many ways in which n Saturday, the U.S. Army denied the any as judges and announce a winner. One any of legal eyed freshman and they the have been willing right for ETP to cross we saw this weekend.

If the current limbo our political world is changing, the DAPL easement that allowed Energy Transfer ir lip the judges, ASWWU Spiritual VP Peter to River try allonkinds of things.

We are excited Missouri reservation land, it is caused by the search for an alternate route protests have demonstrated how we can Partners—the company building the lassFlores, said, “I like the fact that so many to see what things thiswill class will to past the inauguration of Presidentnot a promise that the reroute also be go onlasts still demand change and produce tangible Dakota Access Pipeline—the right to cross duals people were putting themselves out there accomplish. elect Donald Trump, we could likely see results. As many of us are experiencing off of reservation land.

The denial allows the Missouri River on Native American t to reservation regardless of The howdecision scary ithas might a reversal of the easement denial. Trump disillusionment and disappointment with property. beenhave the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers to take ong heralded been perform.

This freshman has previously said that he supports the our government, we can use this story to as atovictory for the protestors at class ismore time investigating alternate routes awesome!” for the pipelines.

For the time being, completion of the Dakota Access Pipeline, restore our faith and trust in our ability to the Standing Rock Indian Reservation, and lauren epperson however, this means that construction on and there are several ways through which he directly cause change. many are calling it a turning point in the News Writer the pipeline must be stopped until another could undo the potential reroute.1 history of the government’s treatment of route can be established.

Though the victory may not be as Native Americans.

In just over a month we will have a new grand as first supposed, it is an important 1 This is indeed a victory for those http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/donald-trump-overturnwill require average president. This has significant ramifications reminder toSenate our generation thatanwe can of threedakota-access-pipeline-decision-wanted/story?id=43981658 protesting the pipeline, but it is important NEWS CONTEXT hours a week of paid work and is a good way to get involved with the inner workings of ASWWU. Senators are expected to:

mason neil Contributing Writer

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Open Senate Positions!

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RIBBON CUT ON COLLEGE AVE. •

kyler alvord News Writer

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and roadblocks while the Cars Avenue-Rose Street Resconstruction Project was underway.

After over a year and a half of roadwork, the College Place stretch of Rose Street all the way NEWS CONTEXT down to the opposite end of College Avenue is completely revamped with new lights, level asphalt, safe crosswalks, and young trees.

The @ASWWU modern and inviting finished product is an update that brings WWU and its surrounding

Attend weekly meetings (Held on

Tuesdays at 8 p.m.)

President John McVay held the ceremonial neighborhoods into the 21st century. constituentsscissors and the ribbon was cut, people rejoiced For the• firstCommunicate time in months,with Jimmy knowing it would be the last time that the city John’s and Walmart both betheir reached andcan represent opinions uninterrupted by cones and steamrollers, and would close down College Place’s main road • access Be active email road to with the quick comeson a smooth for C.A.R.S.-related purposes.

Despite the extensive waiting required to ride on. • Study the ASWWU Governing The ribbon-cutting ceremony took place reap the project’s benefits, the new pride that right on campus,documents and donuts and hot drinks the community feels when entering College were provided to add to the festivities.

As Place is one of a kind.

• Care about WWU and ASWWU

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ge avenue the longest table ects campus RUDOLPHORUN Open Senate portion of College Avenue closed briefly last Thursday to celebrate the end of the C.A.R.S. Project.

Twenty months. That’s how long Walla Walla University students dealt with detours

• Write bills and express opinions on ct This week has brought in many wideUniversity of eyed freshman and they have been willing bills being presented r to try all kinds of things. We are excited students.

“I remember moving in at the y to see what things this class will go on to n Saturday, Oct. 1, Walla Walla couldDeclarations then fill take-out boxes of leftovers of Candidacy may be found and I am a happy camper.”

With the widening of College Avenue Walla beginning of last year and feeling so e accomplish.

University Church hosted their from on other along rest of the the families outside door of the ASWWU sidewalks came the removal of these ue lost on my own campus,” senior Kristina the first floor of Longest Table event. A quartertable.Executive Nothing Office grabs (on a college student’s This event has been a favorite of Wal Kozakova said. “Our car got really dirty annual poles. “The campus is very open and e for Kellog Hall), andfree are due on Tuesday, mile-long table stretched the length of attention more than food.

Walla University students for a long and dusty and I couldn’t even access my visible to College Avenue traffic, both ASWWU was excited to connects host The course went After the run, a raffle awarded prizes October 11.past the cemetery, lauren epperson Fourth Global Street.Service This feast of food time. Thank you, to all the families th own apartment.” vehicular and pedestrian,” McVay said. a holiday-themed 5k in order touniversity raise money along Jacob Whitman Drive,junior past Roger’s Adventist of gingerbread houses, gift cards, and other Prosser, physical education community families with News Writer graciously provided food and love to was a sunny and Hope joyousinday in the for this Sep. year’s9Food fundraising project School, and finished next toathe WEC. goods to the runners. is a great way to bond major, said, “It was pretty neat event!

I the students that attended.

While upperclassmen remember thestudents. community, and College Place residents Jonibookstore parking lot.

Hills. senior A big thank you to everyone who came nthe Sunday 4, 2016 at 9driveways a.m., a with people and thiscars event isappreciate a great way was Hansen, impressed withnursing all themajor food choices daysDec. of unblocked and hopped in their to the In spite of the rain, people showed up said, “I enjoyed being able to help and out to support the Rudolph Run, whether you handful of enthusiastic runnersstudents gatheredhave for students to getthat toaverage know local families and the“Before friendliness from allProject, the families.

Senate will require an ofand three open roads, many WWU final product they waited so longfeel like the C.A.R.S. theran or helped set up. ved to show their support for ASWWU the a part of the main campus again. at the WEC thea Rudolph Run. Christmas week of community. paid work andCollege is a inhours theira church Twowalk of my favorite words are ‘free’ and never for seen functional College Avenue, “When I first heard to my apartment ject project. for.

People of all ages ran, walked, and Avenue As a nursing student it is easy to was feel sketchy and cheer and warmthe drinks were provided good way to get finish involved withmeals, the inner After students their they ‘food,’—put them together in a sentence viewing road as nothing more than had opened, I didn’t believe it,” seniordisconnected detached campus.

There on jogged along the course withSenators their dogs from from the school but it was weren’t to those who gathered in anticipation. workings of ASWWU. areand a large sidewalk. WWU President Johnfriends.

Amanda Winter said.

“I thought I would stoplights by the cafeteria and cars didn’t idgood to be back this weekend.” expected to:

Positions!

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WEEK IN FORECAST FRIDAY

THURSDAY

SATURDAY

DEC 8

DEC 9

DEC 10

Review Week

Christmas Concert: “Christmas Joy” 6–7:30 p.m. University Church 8–9:30 p.m. University Church

Women’s Basketball vs. Eastern Oregon 6–8 p.m. WEC Gym

Ultimate Frisbee 2–5 p.m. Behind Sittner Hall on the field

Men’s Basketball vs. Eastern Oregon 8–10 p.m. WEC Gym

Christmas Caroling 6 p.m. in the SAC

SUNDAY

MON-WED

DEC 11

DEC 12–15

Women’s Basketball vs. College of Idaho 1–3 p.m. WEC Gym

FINALS WEEK GOOD LUCK!

Men’s Basketball vs. College of Idaho 3–5 p.m. WEC Gym

FEATURE PERSPECTIVE

THE BEST OF 2016

Michael Jensen Feature Editor bryndilynn goodlin Feature Editor 2016 has been an interesting year and many people seem depressed about all the negative things that have happened over the last 12 months. However, we at The Collegian think that it might be a bit healthier to enter the holiday season on a lighter note. With that in mind, we’ve tried to collect some of the more positive and interesting things to come out of this year. Merry Christmas!

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PERSPECTIVE FEATURE

CONT. FROM PAGE 7 JANUARY

FEBRUARY

MARCH

Sherlock’s “Abominable Bride” is released.

Leonardo DiCaprio finally wins his long-awaited Oscar at the 2016 Academy Awards.

“Zootopia” is released.

Walla Walla University hosts Tedx.

The ESA and Roscosmos launch the joint ExoMars Trace Gas Orbiter on a mission to Mars.

The 120th Boston Marathon

"Downtown Abbey’s" final season is released.

ASWWU’s “Let’s Hold Hands” is released.

Justin Bieber becomes the first male in ten years since (Justin Timberlake) to have three Billboard Top 100 number ones from the same album.

He also is one of the only artists to replace themselves as number one on the list.1

More than 800 Boko Haram hostages were rescued by Nigerian Army.

APRIL

Harriet Tubman officially replaces Andrew Jackson the 20 dollar bill.

NEVER SAY

NEVER MAY

JUNE

JULY

AUGUST

“Captain America: Civil War” is released.

“Finding Dory” is FINALLY released.

“Stranger Things” is released on Netflix.

Games of the XXXI Olympiad are held in Rio

India plants nearly 50 million trees in 24 hours, shattering the previous record.

Michael Phelps makes more records and stops swimming competitively.

Portugal runs entirely on renewable energy for 107 hours.

107 hours

The Gotthard Base Tunnel, the world's longest and deepest railway tunnel, is opened following two decades of construction work.

Michael Jordan donates $2 million toward improving relations between police and African-Americans.

Pokemon Go is released.

J.K. Rowling releases another Harry Potter Book: “Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.”

SEPTEMBER

OCTOBER

NOVEMBER

DECEMBER

The Chainsmokers' “Closer” hits number one on Billboard’s Top 100 and holds it for almost three months-the longest held single in 2016.

“Hamilton: An American Musical” premiers in Chicago.

The Cubs win the World Series after a 108 year hiatus.

College Avenue is FINALLY finished.

Volunteers make special halloween costumes for NICU Babies.

“Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them” is released.

The U.S. and China both ratify the Paris climate agreement to reduce emissions

“Hacksaw Ridge” is released.

U.S. election shocks nation.

Beavers beat Ducks. #whatjusthappened

Dakota Access Pipeline is denied permit by Army Corps of Engineers.

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FEATURE PERSPECTIVE

BEST OF THE BEST nbc.com

Best thing to come from the 2016 Election Season: "SNL’s" Trump skits and "Last Week Tonight’s" bitter comedy.

http://bibliodaze.com abcnews.com

Best Song: “Closer” by Chainsmokers

Most Popular Book: “Harry Potter and the Cursed Child”

http://www.osubeavers.com

Shocking Sports Game: Oregon State Beavers beat Oregon Ducks in the "Oregon Civil War" for the first time since 2007. pixar.com

vimeo.com/aswwu

rukkus.com

Best ASWWU Video: “Let’s Hold Hands” Most Awaited Movie: “Finding Dory”

Best Sports Game: Chicago Cubs beat the Cleveland Indians to win World Series after 108 year hiatus.

instyle.com fox.com scienceblogs.com

Best Movie: “Zootopia” Best Green Thumb: India plants almost 50 million trees in one day (and broke a world record).

universe.com

Best International Event: 2016 Rio Olympics

Best TV Show: According to thewrap. com, Sunday night football holds the spot for the number one TV show of 2016. #notatvshow But other sites such as "Time" and "TVGuide" agree that the best TV show of 2016 is “The People vs. OJ Simpson: An American Crime Story.” Interesting.

Best Olympic Record: Michael Phelps finishes his career as an olympic swimmer as “the most decorated athlete in Olympic history” with 23 gold medals, three silver medals, and two bronze medals, equalling 28 medals in total.2

Best Oscar: Leonardo DiCaprio finally wins his long-awaited Oscar. wikimdia.org

Shocking Voting Game: Wisconsin and Michigan vote Republican for the first time since Reagan, securing the election win for the widely assumed loser and resulting in a pollster and media upset as well as rioting in several major cities. wsj.com

Most Successful Protest: Thanks to the protests regarding the Dakota Access Pipeline, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers has officially denied the permit allowing the pipeline to cross the Standing Rock Sioux Reservation.3 #yayfirstamendment #article11

1 http://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/chartbeat/6859556/justin-bieber-replaces-himself-number-1-hot-100 2 http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/olympics/rio2016/2016/08/07/michael-phelps-medals/88361712/ 3 http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/12/04/504354503/army-corps-denies-easement-for-dakota-access-pipeline-says-tribal-organization ⁴ Some of the best content in this feature came from an upbeat list compiled by a more-optimistic-than-most Tumblr user: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/ news/2016/11/11/amazing-list-of-good-things-that-happened-in-2016-delights-the-i/

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PERSPECTIVE DEVOTIONAL/GLOBAL SERVICE

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YOU DON’T NEED TO BUY THAT christina moran Devotional Writer

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veryone, at one point in their life, or perhaps throughout their whole life, is in the pursuit of happiness. So how should one go about this quest? Flipping through commercials, magazines, and advertisements, we have been brainwashed to believe that the more we have, the happier we will become. We dive into the pursuit of having more friends in an attempt to gain happiness, or buy all of the clothes advertised in “Vogue” magazine in effort of attaining the perfect wardrobe of clothes and shoes, or we pursue an empty relationship in the hope of finding love. But as we all know,

the more we have, the more we will want, and the more dissatisfied we will become. So, again, the question comes back full circle: how do we attain the “peace that surpasses all understanding?”1 Where did Jesus find this peace?

First off, the circumstances of His life were not the source of His happiness.

Too often, we try to satisfy and complete ourselves by trying to become the most successful, most talented, most well-known, or the most good-looking, or the person with the most material possessions. I know that when I scroll down my Instagram feed/ Twitter/Facebook/Snapchat stories, I think “Wow, why can’t I be as successful as them, or have as many followers or have the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend like them or hang out as much as them.”

We are literally NEVER satisfied.

Where can we find peace and rest from our unending chase of empty worldly treasure troves? Maybe the baby born in a manger can help us find this answer. Jesus wasn’t born in a palace or even in an inn. His humble mother, Mary, gave birth to him in a lowly manger, with only donkeys and cows as company, yet, He “walked the earth with the dignity of a king…[and] was a light and blessing in every home because He carried cheerfulness, hope, and courage with Him.”2 Well, of course He did... He’s Jesus, or so we dare to think. But the inspired writing encourages us that we can follow in the footsteps of Jesus and be a “light and blessing” to all whom we meet.3 “We could be satisfied with less heart longings, less striving for things difficult to obtain [...]

to beautify our homes” and instead, harbor the “grace of simplicity, meekness, and true affection” and reflect the life of Jesus and be that “light and blessing” to ourselves and to everyone we encounter.4 Jesus lived humbly and simply and was, ultimately, happy. He had internal peace. He “learned in whatever state [He was], to be content.”5 Even though all of the Christmas presents in the world will never truly and eternally satisfy our soul, it’s good to know that living simply and humbly in Jesus is the only thing that will.

Philippians 4:7 (NKJV) White, Ellen G. The Adventist Home. Review and Herald Publishing Association, 1952, pp. 155-56.

3 ibid.

4 ibid.

5 Philippians 4:11-13 (NKJV) 1 2

NO MOUSSE AU CHOCOLAT? daniel villarreal ACA Writer

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n 2001, the HDRs—humanitarian daily rations—, not to be confused with MREs—meals ready to eat—, dropped by the US army on Iraqi soil were heavily criticized by different international organizations and news outlets because they were yellow, just like the fragmentary bomblets that were being dropped by American airplanes on the Iraqi territory.1 This 2200 calorie, 60% carbohydrate, 36-month shelf life boxes were created in 1993 in response to complaints filed by relief agencies from Bosnia and Somalia. During that time, there were no differences between a civilian and a military ration. Military rations were tailored to meet the needs of

US soldiers; they did not take into account the ethnical and the religious backgrounds of the civilians they were being given to and this proved to be problematic. A 1993 article ran by the NY times read, “Bosnian Muslims, for example, objected to ham dinners. Stick-thin Somali children got even sicker eating chocolate bars.”2 In response to this, the Department of Defense developed HDRs which at the time contained navy beans with tomato sauce, lentil stew, a fruit snack, granola, and a spoon.2 The rations, along with the packaging, were engineered to withstand a fall from an airplane without a parachute, and have since been used in humanitarian relief in areas of conflict.

Back in 2001, weapons experts said that as many as 1 out of 10 bombs dropped

by US forces did not explode when they reached the ground and presented a danger to kids who were attracted to the bright

yellow color.3 Alan Richman, who was a journalist in Iraq during the war, related his experience standing on the ground when the rations were being dropped, “they [refugees] glance up, see a speck dropping out of an American airplane and don’t know whether it’s a food gift from the people of the United States or a BLU-82 “daisy cutter” bomb from the armed forces of the United States.”4 Eventually, The Pentagon reported that the color of the humanitarian daily rations would change to apricot,1, 5 however, they did not go through the logistical nightmare of changing the color of the rations already in circulation.

Today HDRs are available for purchase and are manufactured by a variety of companies. The number of entrées has also expanded: HDRs now contain bean salad, brown & wild rice w/lentils, pasta in tomato sauce, and vegetables with lentils.

PIXABAY

PEXELS

With millions of rations distributed all over the world since their creation, rations are constantly tailored to the geographical and cultural needs of the region they are sent to.

HDRs are not elegant, varied, or incredibly tasty. However, they’ve been an effective way to distribute food in conflict-affected areas. Even though there is no Mousse au Chocolat or Pain de Campagne they still get the job done, which is, after all, what they were created for. http://www.upi.com/UNICEF-Rations-bomblets-samecolor/87821049335611/ http://www.nytimes.com/1993/09/30/us/now-aculturally-correct-field-ration.html 3 http://edition.cnn.com/2001/US/11/01/ret.afghan. fooddrops/ 4 http://www.gq.com/story/yellow-hdr-humanitarian-dailyrations 5 “Information Operations: Warfare and the Hard Reality of Soft Power” in Google Books 1 2

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RELIGION/ACA PERSPECTIVE

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MAKING MEMORIES VIXIE BAILEY Religion Writer

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hate Christmas. Just call me Scrooge. Or the Grinch. I like that better. My favorite Christmas tradition involves watching “How The Grinch Stole Christmas” while decorating our tree. Now, when I say I hate Christmas, it means this: I listen to Christmas music from Thanksgiving to New Year's, go to every parade I can, make a Christmas dinner for a small army, and love every second. What do I hate? Presents.

It feels like one of the defining factors of Christmas is presents, mainly your ability to buy presents for all your friends and family. And not just any present, but the

perfect present. I recently heard a song that captures the essence of the Christmas rush to a t. “Humbug” by Owl City expresses what I feel about Christmas in the opening lines: “That moment the first few flakes start falling / Is the moment before I burst into tears / 'Cause snow in the air means Christmas shopping / And the thought of it all just stresses me out.”1 The artist goes on to describe his dilemma in picking the perfect present for his girl, and I can so relate. Will my roommate like a blanket? Or should I go with the candy? Will my sister like the giant stuffed unicorn? Or should I get her a jewelry set? HELP!!!

As I rush to get presents for everyone else, I forget to give the most important present of all to my friends, my family, and Jesus: me. My best Christmas memories

are not about a certain present I got one year. I don’t remember what I got for Christmas when I was five years old, but I do remember watching my dad rock my baby sister to sleep as we sat under the tree listening to music. I don’t remember the gifts, but I do remember the games that we played, the fun we had. That part of Christmas is my favorite thing in the world.

Giving my time and love to my family will most likely mean more to those I love than getting them a fancy, expensive gift. Giving my heart to Jesus will make a bigger impact on my life than making a fancy expression of my love for Him. The best thing I can do is give of myself.

As Owl City wraps up (pun intended) his song, he says, “I'll wrap myself in paper and sit under the tree / 'Cause the best gift

I can give you is this heart inside of me!”2 Jesus wants your heart. Your friends are ok with you just spending time creating memories.3 Your family will remember the fun more than the presents. So this holiday season, make you time count. Instead of stressing over buying the perfect present, let loose. Have fun. Make memories that last a lifetime. Give your heart.

“My son, give me your heart and let your eyes delight in my ways.”4

Owl City, “Humbug” ibid.

3 If they aren’t, maybe they aren’t really your friends…

4 Proverbs 23:26, (NIV) 1 2

GERMAN CHRISTMAS NIGHTMARE stephanie septembre ACA Writer

I

n full disclosure, I don’t take Christmas very seriously. It’s time off, above-average food, and checks from my grandparents.

Not shabby, but also not worth singing and dancing about. However, one Christmas two years ago, when I was studying in France, broke the mould. The French strongly believe in vacations, and the time I had off between fall and winter quarters gave me nearly a month of freedom. My natural instinct was to travel to as many places as possible, so I circled through seven countries in Central Europe (don’t do this).

I admit some of it actually was pretty magical in that stereotypical, feel-good Charlie Brown Christmas kind of way.

Every city had its Christmas market with sweets and roasted chestnuts, and certain towns in Germany essentially looked like they were made of gingerbread. This part of Germany, where everything seems straight out of a fairytale and people actually wear lederhosen, is called Bavaria. One of the most famous places to visit in Bavaria is

the Romantic Road, a highway linking picturesque towns and castles, which are so lovely in fact that Allied forces agreed not to bomb them during World War II when nearly everything else in Germany was blown to smithereens.

My story takes place on the Romantic Road. If you are at all familiar with Disney, then you would recognize its logo with the super-pointy castle. That castle, which resembles the castle found in Sleeping Beauty, was based off Neuschwanstein Castle located near the end of the Romantic Road. This castle is coated in white limestone, nestled in a forest, and overlooks lakes and snow-capped mountains. It would be next to impossible to find a more fairytale-like location.

During my short stay in Bavaria, I was determined to see this castle. Last minute, my friends decided they weren’t going to go, but I still wanted to and went alone.

That meant a two-hour train ride from the Bavarian capital, Munich, to Füssen. From Füssen, there was a short bus ride to the base of the castle where tourists could purchase tickets and horse-drawn carriage rides. I was cheap, so I walked.

Despite the excess of tourists, Neuschwanstein was quite an enchanting place: ballrooms coated in gold, marble floors, tunnels, and a spectacular view. I spent the day touring Neuschwanstein and its neighboring castle, the unpronounceable Hohenschwangau. Nearing sunset, I decided it was time to take the bus back to catch my train. I waited for a while where I thought the bus would be, but it didn’t come. There was a well-traveled road leading to a small city, and I saw people walking in that direction, so I followed, thinking the exercise would be good for me. I walked for an hour until it was nearly dark, and when I arrived, I was not in Füssen. I had no idea where I was, but it was a small town without a train station. I was alone, had no useable phone, and it was nearly dark. Then, there it was, the sign that said “Füssen.” If I walked in a completely different direction, the sign said it would take me only an hour to get there.

I didn’t see any other options, so I started walking. The road passed through residential areas, by grocery stores and country clubs, and finally, it took me to the forest. By that time, I had gone so far it seemed like there was no return, so I pressed

STEPHANIE SEPTEMBRE

on, and it was like a nightmare, walking through a forest at night with no street lights and only my iPod to guide me.

Stories like “Little Red Riding Hood” came to mind and all those German children stories where everybody gets killed or eaten. The most terrifying moment was seeing a glow-in-the-dark dog collar leaping towards me before realizing a dog was attached to the collar.

I made it out of the forest, and then I had to find the train station, which took another half hour. I stopped at a random hotel for directions and wandered the city for a while, but at last, I stepped onto the platform, more relieved than I had ever been before. All the tourists were gone, and there were just a few drunk Germans to wait with. Two hours later, I was back in my questionable hostel with friends asking where I had been. I had survived a (probably) haunted German forest in the dead of winter… and been a total idiot for trying to walk to Füssen in the first place. “I’m fine, don’t worry,” was all I ever told them.

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LIFE CREATIVE WRITING/COLUMN

12 DAYS OF WRITING PROMPTS mac ford Creative Writing Editor

1. Something you found

4. The way the sky looks today

7. The oldest item in your possession

10. Make a list of five things you believe deeply to be true, factbased or value-driven

2. Parades

5. How you’re just like your mother

8. Tell the world’s saddest joke

11. Write about a terrible deed from the point of view of someone who doesn’t find the deed objectionable

3. The people who will live in your house after you move out

6. The last thing you’d want to do

9. Five ideas for a novel you’ll never write

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hristmas Break will probably be largely spent sleeping, eating, laying in snow, or doing other activities that are not writing.

But if you do get the chance to write, here are 12 ideas to get you started. The first 10 are from “642 Things to Write About” by the San Francisco Writers’ Grotto, and the last two are from “Story Starters” from Fiction Attic Press. Happy holidays!

1995 joni harris Columnist emily huso Columnist

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he feature topic for this week’s Collegian is “Best of 2016.” We could not find it in ourselves, however, to write about this darned year in which we lost Harambe, Buzz Aldrin became hospitalized, and November happened. Not enough distance yet, ya know? So instead we’re going to give you a few highlights of 1995.

Turns out there are some eerie connections between 1995 and 2016. A coincidence?

Most likely.

In celebration of their 50th anniversary, The United Nations declared 1995 the International Year of Tolerance.1 This is funny becuase 2016 seems to be the year of intolerance. This is not funny.

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12. Five words you love

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On Jan 24, 1995, the criminal trial of O. J. Simpson opened in California.2 In 2016 “The People v. OJ Simpson: An American Crime Story” aired on FX. Welcome back David Schwimmer.

Cleveland lost to Atlanta in the 1995 World Series.3 Cleveland lost to Chicago in the 2016 World Series. While some things don’t change, both Cleveland and Atlanta’s mascot should.

In 1995 the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Museum opened in Cleveland.4 In 2016 we lost David Bowie. Bowie was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1996. RIP On Feb 21, 1995 Steve Fossett succeeded in the first solo trans-Pacific flight in a hot air balloon.5 Two days of Walla Walla’s Balloon Stampede were cancelled in 2016 due to rain.

In 1995 Bill Clinton was serving as president of the United States. In 2016 Hillary Clinton ran for president.

Doctors Ian Wilmut and Keith Campbell created the world’s first cloned sheep from embryo cells in July of 1995.6

That sheep is now our president-elect.

“The ‘dress for success’ style that dominated previous decades practically disappeared in 1995. Increasingly, companies were offering ‘casual Fridays’ in which employees were allowed to wear jeans to work.”7 Thank you, 1995. Thank you.

Mickey Mantle died on August 13, 1995. We were both born in 1995. One of us is probably Mickey incarnate.

That’s all folks.

1 http://www.onthisday.com/date/1995

http://www.infoplease.com/year/1995.html 2 ibid.

3 ibid.

4 ibid.

5 ibid.

6 ibid.

7 http://www.retrowaste.com/1990s/fashion-in-the-1990s/

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INSTAGRAM/OPINION PERSPECTIVE

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#THECOLLEGIAN

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KAI.KOPITZKE

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MARY’S NOT-SO-MERRY CHRISTMAS joshua huh Opinion Writer “The angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary; for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name Him Jesus… Mary said to the angel, ‘How can this be, since I am a virgin?’ The angel answered and said to her, ‘The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; and for that reason the holy Child shall be called the Son of God…. And Mary said, ‘Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word.’”1 Here is the well–known prelude to the original Christmas story: Mary, a young girl, is told by an angel that she, a virgin, will give birth to the promised Messiah. She is magically impregnated by the Holy Spirit (while still a virgin) and eventually gives birth to Jesus, the Son of God. It’s a wonderful Christmas miracle!

However, there are several parts of this story that bother me greatly. Most New Testament scholars acknowledge that Mary was most likely a young teenager when the angel approached her—she was perhaps as young as 12, the earliest age at which a Jewish girl could be betrothed.2 3 In the narrative, Mary, a virgin, is betrothed, or engaged, to a man whose name is Joseph—he eventually marries the girl, but is instructed by the same angel not to sleep with her until she gives birth to Jesus;4 and Mary degradingly refers to herself as a “bondslave of the Lord” and uses passive voice when she grants, “[M] ay it be done to me…” suggesting that she sees herself as merely an object, one to impregnate.

If these facts are true, then one may conclude the following: a young Jewish girl, perhaps not even a teenager yet, is told by a celestial being that she will become pregnant with the Son of God, although she is technically a virgin. When she asks the being how this could even be possible, he tells her that the Holy Spirit will “come upon” her, and the power of God will “overshadow” her. Furthermore,

she is to remain a virgin until she gives birth to this child, ensuring that her own husband cannot claim the child as his own.

Frightened out of her mind, she accepts the news because she believes that she is a submissive subordinate to her God. The implications of this story are questionable—Why has God chosen such a young and vulnerable girl? Why should she have to face the humiliation of her culture by her pregnancy outside of marriage? Does she really have a choice to say “no” to God? Without even going into the logical impossibility of a virgin birth (a commonly recurring phenomenon throughout other ancient religions, with many works preceding the Luke narrative by hundreds of years),5 the entire story of Jesus’ conception seems violative, or at best unfair.6 While I do not hold the notion that Mary was raped (she acknowledges the news and accepts it rather easily in Luke’s narrative), I believe that this story pushes an idea that would not be taken lightly in today’s culture regarding women’s reproductive rights.

It is important for one to question

PEXELS

these kinds of stories, especially those that she or he may have heard and accepted throughout her or his upbringing.

While one’s thoughts regarding biblical inspiration and truth are entirely personal, it is still appropriate to understand the many implications of the Bible’s claims. I urge my reader to take these considerations and ask, What was Christmas like for 12-year-old Mary?

Luke 1:30,31,34,35,38 (NASB) Howard. Marshall, The Gospel of Luke: A Commentary On the Greek Text(Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1978), 64.

3 François Bovon et al., Luke 1: A Commentary on the Gospel of Luke 1:1 – 9:50, vol. 1 (Minneapolis, MN: Fortress Press, 2002), 49.

4 Matthew 1:25 (NASB) 5 François Bovon et al., Luke 1: A Commentary on the Gospel of Luke 1:1 – 9:50, vol. 1 (Minneapolis, MN: Fortress Press, 2002), 46.

6 I am not writing this to try to disprove or devalue the Christmas story. I am merely trying to bring up the fact that we often accept biblical tradition without even considering the ethical and social implications of certain scriptural details.

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PERSPECTIVE OPINION/COLLEGIAN WISDOM

MARY, FAVORED OF GOD Matthew Moran Editor-in-Chief

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ny academically honest pursuit requires one to question their belief system in order to build a better worldview. In questioning belief systems, one must be able to consider all sides of any argument that is presented. Thus, in addition to the considerations listed in “Mary’s Not-SoMerry Christmas,” I would like to propose counter viewpoints regarding Huh’s considerations.

Mary was NOT a “bondslave of the Lord” nor a submissive subordinate to her God. God endows everyone with free will.

Mary lived in such a way that she was at the center of God’s will. When we allow Christ to transform us and make us more like Him, our “will becomes as His will, and [our] character[s] are transformed to be like Christ’s character.”1 God NEVER forced or dictated that Mary follow His will.

God could have chosen someone else to do the job. However, Mary was someone who wanted to do God’s will in her life. How do we know this? Mary was a “peasant woman from the tribe of Judah, and in the line of King David.” 2 Although women usually weren’t trained in the Scriptures, she came from a home of devout Jews and it seems that she had some training in the Scriptures as evidenced in her “praise of God in her ‘Magnificat’ in Luke 1:47-55.” 3 This also displays her devoutness to God. She trusted God when he came to her.

It is important to recognize Mary’s response to the angel. She responded, “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed.” 4 Her response displays both enthusiasm and humility. If God truly was forcing Mary to do anything, I don’t think she would respond in quite the same manner. Let’s look at Moses. When God called Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, Moses gave five excuses to deny his calling. He claimed that he wasn’t qualified, lacked knowledge, couldn’t fulfill the calling due to speech impediments and the sort, and didn’t desire to fulfill the calling. 5 We can go into a whole other discussion as to why God chose Moses

but we won’t. However, this story shows that God’s special assignments can be refuted.

Even Ellen White “begged the Lord to lay the burden on someone else.” 6 However, all of these people decided to accept God’s special mission for their lives. Ellen White realized that she can do the work because the “Holy Spirit” has enabled her to “perform the work which He gave [her] to do.” 7 God gives every person a choice to accept his mission or not. Mary decided to accept His mission since she was so in tune with God that she wanted God’s will to be done in her life. She wasn’t a slave to God— she was liberated in the freedom of living a life of service to God. God chooses seemingly insignificant people for a reason.

Let’s look back in Samuel 16 see why God chose David. When God told Samuel to anoint a king for Israel, Samuel was sure that the oldest son Eliab would be chosen because he looked like a leader. In fact, all the sons that Jesse showed to him weren’t God’s choice. David was the youngest which meant he was the lowest in his family. He was keeping the sheep which was a servant’s job.8 Yet, God chose him. How does God choose people? God looks at the heart and He can discern a person’s thoughts.9 God chooses people who are willing to follow Him. As Paul boasts, God’s power is “made perfect in [my] weakness.”10 Thus, God chooses insignificant people so that His power can shine through. However, this doesn’t mean He can’t use all people. He uses anyone who is willing to place their faith in Him. What is faith? Abraham Joshua Heschel describes the “act of faith” as being “something that happens rather than something that is stored away” as a sort of “moment in which the soul of man communes with the glory of God.” 11 God chooses insignificant people because these people are the ones who don’t have pride in the way. God chooses people who are willing to place faith in Him. The virgin birth is a key tenet of Christianity, one of the three largest religions of the world. Thus, we are not undermining the virgin birth but, rather, thinking about it more critically.

Although many religious systems feature a virgin birth, Christianity is the

only major world religion that can claim a virgin birth. We will define major world religions as being Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism. Jesus is the only religious figure who can claim a birth “not by natural means” which cannot be claimed by “Muhammad, Krishna, or Buddha.” 12 In fact, Islam actually defends the virgin birth in the Koran (see Surah 19.19-21). They granted the virgin birth and acknowledged that God did actually become flesh and initiate life “without sexual union.” 13 Thus, the virgin birth is a key tenet of what makes Christianity unique among the more universal religions. While time will not allow us to embark on a journey of Christian apologetics, I would like to propose that Christ’s birth and his assertion of being God incarnate separate Christianity from all other religions. It would make no sense to undermine the virgin birth.

Rather, we are just proposing to consider the life of Mary, a figure still shrouded in historical ambiguity, and how her life changed because of this event.

Ultimately, these are just additional considerations to take into account when contemplating the virgin birth. As you think about how Mary’s Christmas could have gone, I hope you remember that she did know what she was doing and she did rejoice that she had the opportunity to live in the center of God’s will. While this story may seem outrageous from a Western, secular perspective, I hope we can all draw lessons from this historical, life-altering account.

COLLEGIAN WISDOM Tourist Killed by Lightning Strike on Top of Mt. Warning, Australia He was not alerted to danger.

Starbucks Will Soon Have Bakeries Serving Pizza I’ll take a venti pepperoni.

Would-be Seattle Car Thief Locked in BMW After Falling Asleep The Ultimate Sleeping Machine.

Man Holds Amazon Delivery Drivers Hostage Until They Hand Over His Mattress Laying down the law.

Man Sentenced for Shooting His Friend in the Butt.

Got cheeky with the judge.

Sydney Man Goes Home and Finds His House Was Demolished Instead of House Next Door 1 http://www.gilead.net/egw/books/misc/Mind,_Charac-

ter,_and_Personality_Volume_2/index.htm?http&url=www. gilead.net/egw/books/misc/Mind,_Character,_and_Personality_Volume_2/38_Decision_and_the_Will.htm 2 http://www.historyswomen.com/womenoffaith/mary.htm 3 http://www.historyswomen.com/womenoffaith/mary.htm 4 Luke 1:46-48 (NIV) 5 Exodus 3:11, 13; 4:1, 10, 13 (NIV) 6 http://text.egwwritings.org/publication.php?pubtype=Book&bookCode=EGWMR&pagenumber=125 7 http://text.egwwritings.org/publication.php?pubtype=Book&bookCode=EGWMR&pagenumber=125 8 https://enduringword.com/commentary/1-samuel-16/ 9 Job 34:21; Hebrews 4:13; 1 John 3:20 (NIV) 10 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV) 11 Abraham Joshua Heschel, Man is Not Alone (New York: Farrar, Strauss and Giroux, 1951), 87.

Still better than being struck by lightning.

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HUMOR/ASWWU SNAPSHOTS LIFE

MERRY CHRISTMAS micah hall Humor Writer ‘

T

is the season for the War On Christmas.

I love CHRISTmas. It is the best holiday. I know Easter is technically better because Jesus rose again. However, Easter doesn’t have presents so Christmas stays my favorite.

There is one thing I hate on Christmas.

I hate it when privately owned businesses ask their employees to say “Happy Holidays.”

Secular companies assault Christmas with their “inclusive values” every year. What is the point of being the dominant religion if people accept other traditions as equal?

For this reason, I have decided to make a list of the other holidays that happen during the Christmas season and I will explain why they are worse than Christmas.

Disclaimer: I have no idea what these holidays are and what they mean. I am sure they are worse than Christmas though because Jesus is the best and I love presents.

Hanukkah The first holiday I found online was Hanukkah. I didn’t know much about Hanukkah because I love Christmas too much. My cursory Google search said that it is celebrating the rebirth of a Jewish temple and that they play with dreidel and eat donuts. Honestly, it sounds pretty cool and there are eight days of presents.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t have the most important part of the Christmas season: Jesus. Of course, Jewish people probably don’t celebrate Christmas because they don’t believe in Jesus. America only has like eight Jewish people anyway. No big deal. I will continue to say Merry Christmas.

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Ramadan This holiday is ridiculous. Instead of the fun and frolic of Christmas where Jesus is born and my mom buys me pants, Muslims celebrate Ramadan by fasting during the day and only eating before dawn and after sunset. This sounds terrible. Way worse than Christmas. Plus, they aren’t allowed to be mean to their families during Ramadan. That would be really hard to do while fasting.

Also, no need to feel guilty about saying Merry Christmas in your department store because most people aren’t Jewish and Muslims won’t need to buy food.

Kwanzaa I just found out that Kwanzaa is a holiday that was started as a way to make sure African-Americans had a strong cultural presence in the United States. The idea was that, if African-Americans had a strong feeling of purpose and identity, they

ASWWU SNAPSHOTS

would be able to overcome some of the racial persecution they were enduring.

I’ll be honest. I’m not sure I can say this holiday is bad without being super racist. In retrospect, I’m pretty sure that getting upset when people say “Happy Holidays” might be really offensive.

I apologize to all of the Walmart clerks, the lady at Del Taco, and Jeff. I should not have yelled at you. I also apologize to all of the internet. I am sorry for the comments. Obviously, Jesus is still the best,1 but I understand that other people deserve recognition even if their holidays are confusing and don’t have good gifts.

1 Yay, Jesus!

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LIFE FASHION/CULTURE

OUTFIT INSPIRATION: FUN DECEMBER HOLIDAYS Angelica Chan Fashion Editor

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’m a firm believer in celebrating the little things, which is why I love that America has so many obscure holidays. It seems as though you can look up anything you’d like to celebrate, and there’s a good chance that someone has made it into a national holiday. During the countdown to the end of the year, you can pretty much celebrate each day of the month with these little–known holidays!

If you’re like me, then you might be looking for something to celebrate as we approach finals week. So enjoy this compilation of looks inspired by some random National Holidays.1 This isn’t including the obvious ones. The point

of this compilation is not to show entire outfits, but to present you with a few pieces that will hopefully spark your creativity when you’re choosing your outfits.

1. Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day (Dec. 8) This day is all about pretending you’re from another era— without breaking character to explain the trick! Whether you’re rushing to complete some mysterious mission unknown to other non-participants or acting astonished by everyday technology, today is a day to live life in another time period. With an outfit inspired by this day, you’ll be ready for the ultimate Throwback Thursday!

HER CAMPUS

2. National Wear Your Pearls Day (Dec. 15) Pearls are formed when an irritant enters an oyster, clam, or mussel shell. The shellfish responds by coating it with layers of a protective fluid called ‘nacre,’ and after an average of three years, a gem-quality pearl can be created. Inspired by the pearl-making process, this day was created to remind you that even when things get tough, you’ll come out stronger and better in the end.

3. National Card Playing Day (Dec. 28) To get inspired by this holiday, you could create an outfit inspired by the highest card of the deck, the ace of spades, or go for a more monochromatic look. Whatever you choose to do, grab your friends on and play some of your favorite card games!

1

http://www.nationaldaycalendar.com/december/

WEIRD CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS

FROM AROUND THE WORLD Darling su Culture Writer

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or many people, Christmas is “the happiest season of all,” and “the most wonderful time of the year.” There are many familiar activities involved that contribute to the celebration: going to church to celebrate the birth of Jesus, sending out Christmas cards, decorating houses with Christmas lights, decorating pine trees with colorful lights and bright ornaments, watching the Grinch movie, giving out gifts, hanging up socks, eating turkey, and never ending family reunions. This is Christmas as we know it, but you may find some weird Christmas traditions around the globe. So take a look at these traditions that might raise an eyebrow or two.

1. All I want for Christmas is… KFC: In Japan, for many people the traditional Christmas dinner is Kentucky Fried Chicken. The company sells more than 240,000 barrels of chicken in the country during Christmas.1 2. The Christmas pickle: An old German tradition is to hide a pickleshaped ornament in the Christmas tree, which is the last ornament to be hung on the tree on Christmas Eve. In the morning, the first child who finds the pickle receives an extra present and good luck for the rest of the year.

3. Caga Tio, the pooping log: A strange Catalan Christmas tradition, Caga Tio is a hollow log with a painted face, two legs, and a blanket. Children receive the log on Dec. 8, and according to the tradition, you have to feed the log until Christmas day. Then, children gather around, sing

songs and hit the Caga Tio with sticks repeatedly, until it “poops” out small treats, which are hidden under a blanket.

4. Shoe throwing: In the Czech Republic, single women predict whether they’ll get married by standing with their back turned to the house door and throwing a shoe over their shoulder on Christmas Eve. If the shoe lands with the toes pointing towards the door, she will marry the following year.

5. Tying your mother up: In the former Yugoslavia, two weeks before Christmas children tie their mother’s feet with ribbons and sing “Mother’s Day, Mother’s Day, what will you pay to get away?” In order to be released, the moms have to give them gifts and treats. Apparently that is not enough, because two weeks later the children do the same to their fathers.

6. Skating to church: In the Venezuelan capital of Caracas, roads are closed off between Dec. 16 and 24 so people can attend the Early Morning Mass (“Misa de Aguinaldo”). But rather than driving to church, Venezuelans choose to rollerskate to early morning church services.

Here are some links if you’d like to learn more: http://list25.com/25-bizarre-christmastraditions-from-around-the-world/4/ http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/ articles/8-bizarre-christmas-traditionsaround-world-0 1 http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/strange-christmascustoms/

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SCIENCE/FOOD LIFE

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THREE CATALYTIC STORIES jordan brooks Science Writer

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atalyst Definition: (1) A substance that causes a chemical reaction to happen more quickly. (2) A person or event that quickly causes change or action.

Haber-Bosch Process: It is fascinating that chemical catalysts have enabled more than just chemical changes. They have changed humanity and have drastically impacted history. A prime example of this is the Haber-Bosch process. The HaberBosch process utilizes a metal catalyst (typically iron- or osmium-based) to convert atmospheric nitrogen to organic ammonia, a process that naturally occurs in specific bacteria. Ammonia is a vital component of soil that is necessary for large scale, sustained agriculture. Developed in 1909, the Haber-Bosch process is thought to be one of the underlying reasons for the population growth from 1.6 billion in the early 1900s to the 7.4 billion it is today.

Without this catalyst, large populations would be unsustainable and our world would

exist quite differently today. The simple application of this catalyst has been feeding and forming human society ever since its discovery. In my opinion, it is mindnumbing to think about how great a change a small difference in activation energy can bring about.1

“

They have changed humanity and have drastically impacted history.”

Engineered Metalloproteins: Enzymes are nature’s highly-specific catalysts that enable the processing of molecules necessary for life to exist. Enzymes are mostly composed of protein and often contain non-protein cofactors. Cofactors are utilized by proteins as tools that enable them to do things otherwise impossible. A specific example of a protein-cofactor pair is myoglobin which contains a heme group,

which is an iron-based cofactor that binds to oxygen. Amazingly, a team of researchers at University of California, Berkeley have engineered bacterial myoglobin that contain an iridium based cofactor (Key, et al.). With this non-natural cofactor the protein is able to catalyze reactions that don’t naturally take place. With this catalytic breakthrough comes the potential to engineer proteins that enable the creation of highly specific molecules, which opens up new possibilities in pharmaceutical research and could potentially decrease the cost and increase the availability of drugs.2 T. Aquaticus and PCR: Not only are specific molecules catalysts, but major events can also catalyze change. One such event took place when Thomas Brock discovered a new species of bacteria (Thermus aquaticus) in the hot springs of Yellow Stone National Park in 1969. Deceivingly humble, the discovery of T. aquaticus was the first fallen domino in a series of monumental steps for the field of biology and its understanding of DNA. Because DNA can withstand higher temperatures than proteins but proteins are necessary to replicate DNA, T. aquaticus’s

temperature resistant enzymes were in the development of the Polymerase Chain Reaction. PCR quickly became the industry standard for DNA replication and with its invention, the biology community has been able to study DNA in a way previously inaccessible. PCR was the backbone of the milestone Human Genome Project, it is currently necessary for the determination of potential diseases progeny may develop, and it still catalyzes our study of the unknown by enabling the study of ancient mummy/ skeletal DNA, cancer, and much more.

Discoveries made utilizing PCR have shaped the way we understand genes, diseases, and everything in between, but without the discovery of T. aquaticus the monumental strides that are continuing to take place would not have happened.3

1 https://www.princeton.edu/~hos/mike/texts/readmach/

zmaczynski.htm 2 Hanna M. Key, Paweł Dydio, Douglas S. Clark & John F. Hartwig. Abiological catalysis by artificial heme proteins containing noble metals in place of iron. Nature.

534, 534–537 (23 June 2016) doi:10.1038/nature17968 3 http://thepolymerasechainreaction.blogspot.com/

KITCHEN HACKS:

KNOCK-OFF DR. BRONNERS Mason Neil Food Writer

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f you’re not already familiar with it, let me introduce you to castile soap. It’s wildly popular among many hippie-types, and for good reason. Castile soap is made from only plant oils—it has no animal products or harmful chemicals that are found in many other soaps. Castile soap is a “true” soap, which means it is completely biodegradable and doesn’t have the negative effect on water supplies that commercial soaps have.

The most popular brand of castile soap is Dr. Bronner’s. DB’s is a wonderful product which I use regularly around my house, but at almost a dollar per ounce, it’s not the most

affordable option. Luckily for you and I, Dr. Bronner’s is easily mimicked with just a few simple supplies. You’ll need:

the product is technically finished, you may wish to dilute it depending on what you’ll be using it for.

• One bar of castile soap (unscented), $1 • Two quarts (8 cups) hot water • Several drops of peppermint essential oil, $6 for one ounce

Castile soap can be used for almost anything, including cleaning bathrooms, kitchens, windows, as shampoo, as dishwasher detergent, or even laundry detergent. Each use calls for a different concentration of soap, usually following a ratio of one cup of water for every tablespoon of soap. For shampoo, I use one tablespoon of soap, one cup of water, a teaspoon of lemon juice to balance the pH (castile soap is alkaline), and a little jojoba oil for moisture. Play around with the ratios a bit, look up some uses for your new favorite soap, and have fun with it.

Begin by taking your bar of soap and running it through a grater until it is completely shredded. Add the soap shavings to your eight cups of hot water and let dissolve completely. At this point you can either add some drops of essential oils (peppermint is a normal choice, I like pine needle) or wait until you dilute the soap for a specific purpose. This recipe will give you a very concentrated liquid castile soap. While

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KANYE WEST CONTEXT

HOW TO PASS YOUR FINALS ON LUCK ALONE*

*Results not guaranteed lauren wahlen Backpage Writer

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hate studying for finals more than almost anything.1 And since someone once told me that I shouldn’t engage in an activity if it doesn’t bring me joy,2 I tend to avoid studying at all costs. But I knew that failing out of college probs wouldn’t bring me much joy either, so I had a problem. Thankfully, I’ve been in school for over 17 years, so I’ve had some time to come up with ways to pass finals besides studying or cheating.3 I’ll list some of the techniques I’ve tried over the years, just in case you’re like me and would rather stress about how wildly unprepared you are for your finals instead of actually doing something about it.

The sloppy handwriting: If you’re faced with an essay question that you can’t even begin to understand, just write utter nonsense in the worst handwriting possible.

That way, your professor won’t be able to dock you for your lack of knowledge. Sure, they might mark you off a couple points for bad handwriting, but that’s better than leaving it blank. I tried this once on a biology question that was worth five points, and he only took away one. Okay, so it was high school, not university, but feel free to try it out and see if it works here too.

The writing in cursive: I developed this theory my junior year of university. I had to write a whole essay on something I knew nothing about, so I figured if I could make it super professional, maybe my professor would give me mercy for being so collegiate.

This one didn’t work too well. Apparently, my perfect cursive wasn’t enough to distract her from the fact that I thought the fifth amendment was about giving women the right to vote. It’s not. I should have stuck with the sloppy handwriting.

The all or nothing: If one of the answers is “all of the above,” I just have to

choose it. It’s too tempting. Like, how am I supposed to know if literally every other answer besides one is super wrong? However, I never pick the “none of the above.” I don’t know why. I guess I feel like teachers wouldn’t spend their time coming up with wrong answers. Idk. I’m not a teacher. I want to get out of school, not stay here for the rest of my life!

The when it doubt pick “C”: I’m pretty sure everyone has heard this. So it’s pretty self-explanatory. When it doubt, pick “C.” The I haven’t used “B” in a while: I mostly notice this one on Scantrons. If I see more than three of something in a row, I start sweatin’. So then I start trying to even it out and make it look all random, which totally defeats the purpose of even reading the questions and trying. I should just save myself the stress and just ignore the questions altogether.

The “eeny meeny miney moe”: I use this technique at the end of the exam, when

I literally have no clue and just don’t care anymore. It works about 20 percent of the time, but it usually makes me feel around 60 percent more confident when I turn it in. So at least that’s something.

The fervent prayer: I pray to the Lord Jesus at the beginning and every test. If I was Catholic I’d be hailing Mary and all the saints, but alas I don’t know how to do that.

So instead, I bargain.4 If I’m only a little nervous, I say that I’ll go to church more often, even when I’m tired which is always.

But if I’m pretty sure that I’m gonna fail, that’s when I start promising that I’ll be a nicer person, memorize more Bible verses, gossip less, and go be a missionary in Africa or something.

Besides trying to watch Netflix on a super slow internet connection. And dying.

That person was me. But it counts.

3 I cheated one time in the second grade. It wrecked me. I finally fessed up, but still. #notworthit.

4 I know that’s not really the way the big man usually works, but it’s worth a shot.

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VERBATIM “I have an important announcement to make... Rabbit rabbit.”

- Professor Carl Cosaert “Class is over, now that the séance is done.”

- Professor Tim Tiffin “It’s important to practice coming out.”

- Professor Karl Thompson, in reference to practicing stage directions.

“Let it be known that if the Seahawks lose, I will take LSD. You happy?”

- Professor Jim Nestler

“I put food in the eating place. I am a robot.”

- Professor Kraig Scott “I graded tests where you could take their score, multiply it by five, and they would still fail.”

- Professor Don Riley “I would show you how muscles contract, but I don’t want to embarrass myself… …. By how strong I am.”

- Professor Jonathan Cowles

I didn’t include any anonymous confessions this week cuz the verbatims were starting to pile up, but that’s a good thing! Keep the quotes and confessions coming, por favor :) lauren.wahlen@wallawalla.edu.

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