Volume 101 Issue 15

The Collegian Walla Walla University

Volume 101

Issue 15

09 FEB 2017

the singles

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23 matchmaking

dear reader,

These are a few of my favorite things

We recognize that Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, so about Walla Walla University… to honor one of the most romantic days of the year we have many fun features for you to peruse, such as giving money to a random couple that we selected to go on a date, highlighting the field experiences #1 Our school has many places to of our writers who went undercover on dating websites, and many, study on campus. many more. I hope you enjoy what we have in store for you either #2 Our school has an esoteric history about a with that special someone, that special someone-to-be, or that future “half-tree” symbol. “someone in the crowd who will be the one you need to know” (yes, I’m #3 Our school has some really cool underground tunnels. referencing “La La Land,” which I’m dying to see. I’m already in love #4 Our school has a wall of alumni signatures in the belfry room with the soundtrack). (located on the 4th floor of the Admin building).

Thank you for keeping The Collegian alive through your generous support, encouragement, and contributions.

For many years, Walla Walla College graduates had a secret You can send any comments, questions, or contributions to tradition where they would sneak up to the bell tower and scribble their aswwu.collegian@wallawalla.edu or matthew.moran@wallawalla.edu. names on the walls. When Walla Walla decided to rebuild the Admin As always, enjoy and IPFY (i.e. I’m praying for you) every day! building, they kept this tradition alive and decided to welcome all alumni and graduating seniors of Walla Walla University to sign the walls of the newly renovated bell tower room, or belfry room. If you are graduating this year, go up to the top floor of the Admin building and ask to sign the Editor-in-chief wall. You will also see a Lego replica of the Admin building, as well as the Matthew Moran signatures of many other students who came before you.

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@HERB LANDAU

Perspective

LIFE

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Table of Contents | 02 News & Senate | 03 Week in Forecast | 04 ASWWU Elections | 05

editor-in-chief Matthew Moran assistant editor Abigail Wissink Head layout editor Fränk Ramirez Head Copy editor Sophia Rich

Global Service | 08 Feature | 09 Opinion | 15 Devotional | 16 ACA/SM & Creative Writing | 17

layout designers Anna-Marie Vargas Claudia Curtis Geoffrey Lopes Hannah Chebeleu

columnist Joni Harris

news writers Kyler Alvord Lauren Epperson

Fashion writer Angelica Chan

Copy Editors Katherine Beckner Amelia Pekar food writer Mason Neil feature editors Brandon Pierce Michael Jensen Ysabela Ramirez Bryndilynn Goodlyn

Life editor Micah Hall

humor writer Micah Hall

backpage editor Lauren Wahlen

opinion writer Yvanna Hammen-Alvarez

religion writer Vixie Bailey

@ NATALIE SMITH

Devotional writer Christina Moran

@THE NEW YORK TIMES

Column & Fashion | 18 Culture & CW | 19 #thecollegian | 20 Science | 21 Humor & Snapchats | 22 Food & Matchmaker | 23 Sunny Side Up | 24

If you are interested in contributing to The Collegian, speak with one of our illustrious staff members. The Collegian is enhanced by regularly incorporating a wide range of campus perspectives.

Culture/travel writer Darling Su ACA/SM Editor Stephanie Septembre Science writer Jordan Brooks Creative writing editor Mac Ford global service writer Daniel Villarreal

Cover Credit: Kai Kopitzke The Collegian is the official publication of ASWWU. Its views and opinions are not necessarily the official stance of Walla Walla University or its administration, faculty, staff, or students. Questions, letters, and comments can be sent to aswwu. collegian@wallawalla.edu or matthew.moran@wallawalla.edu. This issue was completed at 2:00 A.M. on Thursday, Febuary 9 , 2016.

Office Manager AnneMarie Vixie distributors Jaziel Villalvzo Victoria Ico

The Collegian | Volume 101, Issue 15 | 204 S. College Avenue, College Place, WA 99324 https://issuu.com/aswwucollegian

NEWS/SENATE CONTEXT

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@UNCSA

SENATE THE YEAR OF DYBDAHL Kyler Alvord News Writer

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theology professor was selected as this year’s Distinguished Faculty Lecturer, and the public is invited to hear his presentation on Sunday at 7 p.m. in the Melvin K. West Fine Arts Center Auditorium.

Paul Dybdahl, professor of mission and New Testament, holds a doctorate in missiology, and has extensive knowledge of

other cultures. He will be lecturing on the topic “Barricades of Bridges: Adventism and the World Religions,” which will analyze the mission of the Church and its relation to cultures around the world.

This is not the first time Dybdahl has satisfied the University’s core theme “excellence in thought.” In 2005 he received the Presidential Award for Excellence in Teaching, and in 2013 he received the Excellence in Advising Award. This year, he was given one of the largest academic gigs at WWU—the chance to give a community lecture on his area of expertise—and he will

be combining “excellence in thought” with “faith in God.” The Distinguished Faculty Lecture is a longtime WWU tradition, allowing the school to show off faculty talent and allowing listeners to get a taste of what issues are being discussed in other fields.

Anyone interested in hearing more about Dybdahl’s background and the direction of the Seventh-day Adventist Church is welcome to sit in on the lecture.

There is no admission fee. CommUnity credit is offered.

@UNICEF PACIFIC BLOG

This week, Senate had two bills in old business and ten bills in new business.

OLD BUSINESS G.L. 7 - EVP BILL AUTHORSHIP This bill passed and will allow the EVP to write bills.

G.L. 11 - CAPITAL RESERVE REQUIREMENT This bill passed and has removed the ASWWU capital reserve requirement.

G.L. 8 - FACULTY AND STAFF ATTENDANCE REQUIREMENT G.L. 9 - CONSTITUTIONAL STATEMENT OF INCLUSIVITY G.L. 10 - QUASI-ENDOWMENT ACCESSIBILITY These bills were tabled for a week.

P.L. 29 - CONCURRENT POSITION FOR HANNAH CHEBELEU P.L. 30 - JARED JAMIESON FOR ASWWU VIDEO These bills passed and both positions have been confirmed.

F.L. 5 - PRE-PROFESSIONAL CLUB FORUM FUNDING This bill passed and will provide funds for the pre-professional forum.

ARE YOU FEELING CALLED? Lauren Epperson News Writer

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here are a variety of locations looking for student missionaries for this coming 20172018 school year. If you have been thinking about going as a student missionary be sure to check out these locations.

Election Events

Chuuk, Micronesia. There is an Adventist school that is always looking for teachers to come help teach their students. It is one of the islands but the culture can tend to be a little aggressive, so we recommend this location for males.

Timor-Leste. East Timor has an elementary school and they are looking for lower elementary school teachers. This little island off the coast of Indonesia has a similar lifestyle to the Pacific Islands.

PRIMARY ELECTIONS: Feb 14 @11 a.m. in the WWU Church

There are several orphanages that are always looking for help, such as in Uganda, Belize, Cambodia, and Bangladesh. Duties would include helping the kids get ready for school, stay with the little ones during the day, and then tutoring and getting ready for bed in the evening.

There are definitely locations that are more popular than others but the Missions Office strives to send missionaries to as many places as God calls them. Come to the Missions Office and let us help pair you with a location that will best fit where you feel God calling you.

F.L. 7 - PORTLAND WATER BOTTLE FILLING STATION This bill passed and will provide funds for a new drinking fountain with a water bottle filler for the Portland Campus.

F.L. 8 - N.O.F.A. THIS BILL WAS TABLED FOR TWO WEEKS.

new BUSINESS P.L. 31 - AMELIA PEKAR FOR COLLEGIAN COPY EDITOR This bill is confirming Amelia’s employment status.

P.L. 32 - MATHEW SHEDD FOR ASWWU SPIRITUAL This bill is confirming Mathew’s employment status.

ASWWU CONFAB 2: Feb 15 @8 p.m. in the FAC Auditorium

If you have any questions about these bills, contact your senator. More information will be available in your Senate update email!

GENERAL ELECTIONS: Feb 21 @11 a.m. in the WEC

There is an opening for a senator in District 7 - Hallmark Apartments/ Faculty Court/University-Owned Housing.

Email Chris Ghazal if you would like to run.

WEEK IN FORECAST SATURDAY

FRIDAY

THURSDAY

@EATER

@ASWWU

@ASWWU

Feb 9

Feb 10

Feb 11

Hawaiian Lunch 11 a.m.—2 p.m. CAF

ASWWU Outdoors Snow Camping 8 p.m. Andies Prarie 2 credits

Honor Band Festival Concert 4 p.m. University Church

Vespers: Music Department Concert 8 p.m. University Church

Battle of the Bands 8 p.m. WEC

Prayer, Praise, and Popcorn 9 p.m. Prayer House

MONDAY

SUNDAY

@LASSENS

TUESDAY

@HERITAGEDAILY

@PINTEREST

Feb 12

Feb 13

Feb 14

The Valentine’s Mixer 7 p.m. Alumni Building

“Archaeological Findings, Fakes and Forgeries: The Ethical Issues”

by Dr. Douglas Clark 8 p.m. ADM 116

Gospel CommUnity 11 a.m. University Church

Distinguished Faculty Lecture with Dr. Paul Dybdahl CommUnity Credit Available 7 p.m. FAC

Coming up

Febuary 21

Career and Internship Fair 2017 4 p.m.—7 p.m. WEC

ASWWU Global Service Boba for Bae 12 a.m.—2 p.m. CAF ACA Info Session 5 p.m. ADM 116

ASWWU ELECTIONS CONTEXT

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S E T A D I D CAN 2017-2018

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CONTEXT ASWWU ELECTION

ADAM HAGELE

JACKSON SHAMPO EXECUTIVE VP JUNIOR

OMAR ALFARO

EXECUTIVE VP SOPHOMORE

MATTHEW COSAERT

Major: Bioengineering Random Funny Fact: I’m allergic to the cold (Cold Induced Urticaria – look it up).

Major: Business, Pre-med Random Funny Fact: I am Native American, can’t you tell?

Major: Health Science Random Funny Fact: I am the first in my family to attend college.

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Major: Theology Random Funny Fact: Regrettably, in junior high, I asked people to start calling me by my middle name, Phillip.

PRESIDENT JUNIOR

believe ASWWU can continue to be a framework that provides opportunities for students. I see those opportunities including the pursuit of individual passions, promoting personal growth through many forms of adventure, and engaging in a safe and welcoming community. Passionate students can be found in ASWWU in every department ranging from Atlas baristas and Collegian writers to Tread Shed workers and ASWWU Web. A student can find personal growth by going outside of his or her comfort zone with ASWWU Spiritual, ASWWU Outdoors, and many others. All of the departments and events of ASWWU help to build an amazing environment on campus that I’ve been lucky enough to call home these past three years.

It is my goal to promote and strengthen each department of ASWWU so that each student can have the opportunities I have had. If you have any questions or just want to chat, please feel free to say hi. I’d love to talk.

hat’s the most exciting thing that comes to mind when you hear the word ASWWU? Is it Barn Party? Is it the ice cream social? Is it Senate? If you answered the last one, then you ought to be running for this position too! But you’re not. Which means it must excite me more than it excites you. Next year, I want to see ASWWU become more student-oriented. ASWWU is not the people who work for it, ASWWU is the people. And also the people who work for it. I want to see a more inclusive ASWWU with events centered around student involvement. I have the ASWWU experience required for this job. My résumé includes things such as: I am a senator, I have recycled multiple times, I work for ASWWU Outdoors, and I am an officer of the Pre-Professional Club. In its current state, the Senate is being run flawlessly. *clap clap* I want to maintain what’s being done there and put more of my time into supporting the President of the ASWWU (POTASWWU). If all of this appeals to you, then vote Jackson Shampo for executive vice president. If not, cash me ousside.

he purpose of ASWWU is to serve and connect students to improve student life at Walla Walla University. One of the most important ways to bring students together and make improvements is through effective communication. Senate actively communicates thoughts from students to ASWWU where ideas and suggestions can be executed into actions. Given the opportunity to serve as EVP for ASWWU, I hope to not only support Senate in continuing their successes and increase student involvement, but also enable Senate and ASWWU to be more accessible to students. If I become EVP, I will work to build ASWWU with impassioned people and help students get involved in the different departments of ASWWU they are interested in. This is about keeping you, the students, informed so that we can continue to grow together and bless others on this campus. Let’s make things happen!

SPIRITUAL VP JUNIOR

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ver my time on the Walla Walla University Campus, I have really enjoyed the events that are put on by the ASWWU Spiritual Team.

From the Weekends of Worship and the Student Week of Worship to the concert in the spring, these events have become the face of ASWWU Spiritual and I plan to continue these traditions.

I am a proactive individual and plan things well ahead of time. I know that leading the ASWWU Spiritual team requires organization and planning so that the events run smoothly. A part of things running smoothly is getting the word out to all the members of ASWWU, the student body. It’s important to me that each one of you feels connected to ASWWU Spiritual and knows what events are coming up. For this reason, I plan to make advertising a priority.

Another part of being ASWWU spiritual VP is the need for effective communication. I have developed these skills in my high school experience with student government. Both in my roles as spiritual vice president and student body president, I learned how to work effectively with a team and have continued to develop this in my role as intern to Pastor Troy Fitzgerald at the WWU Church Youth Department.

I have been talking with some of the other candidates about ideas for the coming year and am excited for the opportunities we will be bringing to this campus—opportunities to have fun, make friends, and grow closer to God. I look forward, hopefully, to serving you as your spiritual vice president for the 2017-2018 school year.

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ALEECE CAZAN

ASWWU ELECTION CONTEXT

CARLY IWASA

DANIEL HINCAPIE

TIMOTHY KOSAKA

SOCIAL VP SOPHOMORE

SOCIAL VP JUNIOR

SOCIAL VP SENIOR

SOCIAL VP SENIOR

Major: Nursing Random Funny Fact: One of my life goals is to drive a zamboni machine.

Major: Business Administration Random Funny Fact: I have freckles on the underside of my nose.

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Major: Social Work Random Funny Fact: I have not finished either the “Harry Potter” or the “Star Wars” series.

Major: Business Administration Random Funny Fact: Some of my best ideas have come from Pinterest... I just use incognito mode.

hen students think of the ASWWU social vice president, it’s common to think of the person who could throw the best birthday party with the loudest music, brightest balloons, and deepest gift bags. So year after year, candidates make plans for grandeur to entice these ideals in the voters. Though birthday parties are fun and gift bags are nice, we attend those parties to begin with and leave with good memories because of the connection we have to the people there.

As your social vice president, I want to push for the little things that remind the student body what makes this campus a community. I want everyone to recognize the social team as one that cares about inclusiveness through a weekly budget to show that ASWWU can do something for everyone. I want to push for open communication between departments when events—big and small—are planned. I want everyone to consistently be excited about what it means to be a part of this team.

Rather than seeing the ASWWU Social Team as the face of the WWU, how about making it the soul?

You know what you’ve goat to do.

Vote Aleece for social VP.

y fellow students, Since I started here at WWU in 2013, I was always impressed by the fluidity of the social atmosphere on campus. One of my favorite pastimes is networking, so to be in a place that valued connection and coming together had me hooked almost immediately.

With my experience in organization as student body president in high school, work ethic and diplomatic leadership formed during my year as a student missionary, and history of volunteer/ event-planning with various music festivals and fundraisers, I believe I make a prime candidate for your next ASWWU social VP. If elected, I promise to do everything I can to shed light on multiple areas of our student body, establish a strong relationship with other members of ASWWU cabinet, advocate for your social wants/needs, and make you proud of where you’ve chosen to have your college experience.

Let’s make memories we’ll look back on forever—GO VOTE!

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ne of my goals this year is to make events that have worked in the past better for this upcoming school year. I have noticed things that have worked and those that have not worked and will be implementing those things that have worked while also experimenting with other ideas. I will plan events such as karaoke nights, movie nights, and puppies on campus during dead week. I will do my best to give your money back to you with free water bottles and free shirts. I will also be open to suggestions and ideas from the general student body. If you have an idea, let me know! My overall goal is to give back to you, the students of Walla Walla University.

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ey there fellow students of Walla Walla University!

I am running for ASWWU social vice president because I feel that it’s important for everyone to have a voice on this campus.

Whether you’re a girl or a guy, an introvert or an extrovert, or a future nurse or engineer, your vision matters because ASWWU is you.

Through my time at WWU, I have had the opportunity to serve as an ASWWU senator and project manager, student missionary at Upper Columbia Academy, and WWU Jam coordinator. This coming year, I will be a senior with a light credit load. This means that I’ll have the time and energy to create campus connections for you!

Many of you have shared ideas as well as concerns and frustrations about our current ASWWU team. It’s my mission to bring positive change to our Social Department next year. I’ll lead a team that listens to your ideas, creates large and small events, with something for everyone, and keeps you in the loop!

In fact, with the support of 15 local businesses that are sponsoring my campaign, I’ve been able to start hosting events around campus such as free back massages, musical evenings, and even a chocolate fountain event.

This is just a small sample of events I hope we can have next year.

It’s my promise that as your social VP, I will help you make new friends and connect with your best friends. I will strive to make you feel included and important and I will work hard to make sure that your ASWWU dues come back to you. I am committed to being there to listen to you. Let’s work together to turn your voice to your events!

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125th ANNIVERSARY HIGHLIGHT

DR. PEDRITO MAYNARD-REID:

BLACK HISTORY MONTH IS FOR EVERYONE DANIEL VILLARREAL Global Service Writer

RELIGION DEPARTMENT MEMBERS David Thomas Brant Berglin Susan Bungard Carl Cosaert Paul Dybdahl Mathilda Frey Pedrito Maynard-Reid Alden Thompson Jody Washburn

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n Jan. 24, I had the privilege of meeting with Dr. Pedrito MaynardReid. Maynard-Reid, who completed his terminal degree at the Fuller Theological Seminary, has been a Professor of Biblical Studies at Walla Walla University since 1990.

A prominent writer, Maynard-Reid has published books on the books of James, Luke and Acts, and about diversity in worship.

From time to time, however, MaynardReid moves from the business of God to focus on the business of men. Since 2008 he has served as a member of the Diversity Committee at Walla Walla University and continues to be involved in student affairs.

During our meeting, Maynard-Reid shared with me the evolution of Black History Month over the last 25 years, his excitement to be part of this celebration, and his outlook on the future.

Villarreal: Dr. Pedrito, what is the legacy of Black History Month?

Maynard-Reid: Black history has been celebrated in the U.S. to celebrate the history of African Americans, but particularly the positive part. Because of slavery, African Americans have a negative history. So, it is through Black History Month that we want to highlight the positives. February has been designated in the United States as Black History Month. There are lots of history months, there’s Asian History Month, there’s Women’s History Month; we are not the only ones that have a history month. We celebrate it though our art and our music, and our contributions to society in this country, and around the world. We must remember difficult times, just like with the Holocaust.

We move on from that time period, but we don’t forget it.

Villarreal: What has been the evolution of Black History Month in Walla Walla?

Maynard-Reid: It has gotten bigger. We started celebrating Black History Month in the '80s. It slowed down, but when I came here in 1992, we jump started it back again, now during February, starting with a big weekend. When I started in 1992, it was just a small service at the College Church.

Now it has grown to include a dinner to start the celebration. We invite all the black churches in the region, the Hispanic churches, and any church that would like to come to participate in a big concert, in a mass choir for the service. Now we have a meeting with the leaders of all the regional black churches and their pastors. We meet with the president’s cabinet and we have a big dinner for all of them. Over the years, it has become much, much bigger. We bring in artists, musicians, and people that come and participate with us in the service held not at the University Church.

Villarreal: Dr. Pedrito, who can participate in this celebration? Who can be part of Black History Month?

Maynard-Reid: Foreigners, when they come here, they celebrate the Fourth of July. When student missionaries go to other countries, they celebrate those people’s holidays—students who go to

Guam or Pohnpei celebrate with the local communities. You don’t have to be an African American to celebrate African American history. Think of Saint Patrick’s Day, that Irish holiday. Every American celebrates Saint Patrick’s Day, even though they are not Irish. You don’t have to be an African American to celebrate the contributions of this group of people in the country. People celebrate Veterans Day, don’t they? Many of them are not veterans, but they identify with them and celebrate. It’s an American celebration, it’s one of the things in our culture. Everyone is welcome to join in in the celebration, and the worship, and the things that are being done to remember and celebrate.

Villarreal: On a side note, it is my understanding that you're a member of the Diversity Committee for the University. For students who are not aware of the existence and the functions of this committee, could you talk about what kinds of things the committee deals with?

Maynard-Reid: We deal with everything that has to do with diversity: ethnic diversity, gender diversity, economic diversity. We talk about different ethnic groups such as Hispanics, Asians, Native Americans, African Americans, and Caucasians, and how they relate to each other. We work in tandem with the inclusive committee of ASWWU. Villarreal: In terms of diversity, where would you like to see Walla Walla in the future?

Maynard-Reid: In terms of diversity I would I want Walla Walla to look like America. Students who graduate from the university are not going back to their homes in rural Montana; some will, but most of them are going to Chicago, Los Angeles, Miami. The population is shifting to the cities, and cities are diverse. If you want to be prepared to work in America you need to be prepared to work in a diverse environment and be able to think in a in terms of a diverse environment. That is just how America is changing. Students who have not been in a diverse environment need to learn to live and to operate in a diverse environment, and get along with people who do not share their customs or ideas. The future of education, and the future of Walla Walla, is diversity.

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the SINGLE'S

GUIDE to

DATING APPS H

ello, all of you singles.1 As we approach this year’s Valentine’s Day, we wish to remind you that whether you’re a wide-eyed freshman, shocked by the sheer amount of potential significant others, or a desperate-spouse-seeking-almost-graduated upperclassman, there is hope...just kidding: Happy Single Awareness Day! But, if you’re interested in the masochistic, butterfly-churning, Sisyphus-esque, and heart-rate raising experiment that is dating, here are a few Collegian writer-tested apps that could get you well on your way to finding that special someone and some tips from our local Tinder expert, Johnel Lagabon, on how to Tinder effectively.

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writers: The apps that Bryndi tested:

The people Bryndi met:

bryndilynn goodlin Feature Editor

Johnel Lagabon Contributing Writer

CHRISTIAN MINGLE is a scam.

First, they lure you in by telling you it’s free. Then they let you spend forever setting up a profile. And then they tell you you have to pay them in order to answer people’s messages. Not. A. Fan.2

COFFEE MEETS BAGEL has potential. The set up is weird because only the guy can choose who he is interested in initially and then the girl can choose from the “bagels” that are interested in her. The girl can pay to choose people that haven’t chosen her yet, but that’s not as encouraged.

It seems to try to be harkening back to the traditional way of dating. Also, once you have matched with someone, you have seven days to talk to them or you lose your chance. There are some nice people on it, though. I just forgot the seven-day thing and lost the chance to talk to them. Oops.

It’s a nice idea though.

TINDER is interesting. Honestly, I have mixed feelings about this app.

On one hand, there are some hilarious people on Tinder. But on the other hand, there are some people that are a little “interesting,” if you get my drift.

Most of the people that I met were just looking for a hookup or never actually replied to my cheery “Hello! :)”.3 Also, this app is promoting major consumerism in the dating market.4

I didn’t meet the people on Christian Mingle so I couldn’t tell you much about them. But from what I could see when I was semi-stalking their profiles, a lot of them seem to want to get married. Soon. But, if that’s what you’re looking for, and you’re willing to pay, then maybe this is your dating site.

The people on Coffee Meets Bagel were a mixed bunch. The first guy I talked to on CMB was pretty cool.

He has a down-syndrome identical twin which is apparently pretty much impossible and no one knows how it happened. That’s all we talked about, though, because I’m not the most avid checker of the dating app and I didn’t realize my time was running out.

The second guy was a bit weird and I wasn’t much of a fan so that conversation didn’t last long either.

You might find intoxicated people on Tinder. Although you might have interesting conversations with intoxicated people on Tinder, it is important to remember that these people are high or drunk. Be very careful when conversing with these people and NEVER NEVER NEVER in any circumstance agree to meet up alone with them. If you really want to meet up with someone that you met on Tinder, make sure it’s some place public and be sure to bring a friend to ensure that you are safe. Our school is dedicated to safety so please be careful.

Unfortunately, most people that I met were just looking for a hookup.

But that’s what Tinder is known for, so no surprise there. I unmatched most of these so my proof is confined to one screenshot. Honestly, the hookup craze was a bit frustrating because it ruined some great potential conversations.

Not all guys on Tinder make it dirty. I had several great conversations with people who kept it clean and above board and I am still (Snapchat) friends with several of these. One is a super cool Air Force pilot from Denmark and another doesn’t seem to care that he’s part of an experiment for an article. He still wants to be friends and also got super concerned that I might think he is just looking for a hookup. So there are several good guys on there, you just might have to swipe through the not so great ones to find them.

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JOHNEL'S TIPS FOR TINDERING

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NO SELFIES!

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BE PLAYFUL!

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There’s hope for all of the singles in the world! You may just need a good picture. Find a friend with a nice camera and start modeling.

Now I know what you’re thinking, it’s deceptive right? Let’s be honest, everyone looks better in real life than in a standard run-of-the-mill iPhone camera picture. You’re not lying, you’re just leveling the playing field.

Crack a joke, acknowledge the awkwardness, and have fun. The last thing anyone wants is to get on a Tinder convo with a person that’s ready to propose-enjoy yourself!

KEEP YOUR RESPONSES/ QUESTIONS OPEN ENDED.

Tinder in action

Give your Tinder match something to work with. Nothing kills a conversation like a quick yes or no…or awkward ‘yeah?’

SWIPE RIGHT AND REPEAT. Don’t give up. Keep swiping right.

Whether you decide to tough it out and stick with the traditional face-to-face dating world or retreat to the safety of the online dating world, just remember to be content with yourself...even if you’re single, lonely, and two-steps from being a cat-lady/lord. Life is short and stressful enough. Laugh, take chances, have fun getting to know other people, and don’t overthink it.

As the cliché goes, you do you, Boo. And who knows, you might just find that special someone..

And hello to you #relationshipgoals people too.

Also, everyone wants to get married. But at least they don’t jump straight to the dirty talk?

3 Ok, so maybe I need to work on my Tinder game, but let’s be honest, I probably won’t be keeping the app past today so it doesn’t really matter.

4 #IwaslisteningtoyoursermonPastorAlex 1 2

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I MET MY BOYFRIEND ONLINE

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ALL WE HAD TO DO WAS MAKE IT HAPPEN lulu davis Contributor Writer Coffee Meets Bagel is an app that most people resort to once Tinder gets a little too cray cray. Many have a dating app account for the wrong reasons. For those of you who have never heard about Coffee Meets Bagel, it’s a dating app that’s set up almost like “Sadie Hawkins.” Once you have made your account, every day at noon you will receive highly curated matches based on the specific and sophisticated match algorithm to either like, pass, or connect. Once you connect, the responder either accepts or denies. If accepted, a private chat opens for both ends of the parties to chat for seven days.

A common misconception about dating apps is that people have the app or perceive the app to be simply for flings or one night stands. But that isn’t always the case and is not accepted by everyone on the app (obviously), though it is something that a lot of people commonly run into. On the bright side, there are individuals who meet their long-term boyfriends through this app, like I did.

You’re probably thinking: How could you trust this app? How do you know it’s safe? He could be a total creep. *gasp!* What do your parents think??

Well, I’ll get to all of this. But first let me say this: I met my boyfriend on Coffee Meets Bagel, and we have been together for two months now. This is the happiest I have ever been in a relationship.

It all started off by connecting on the dating app, which then led to exchanging phone numbers and texting. Texting eventually led to phone calls (long phone calls, may I add), and eventually we met up. Even though it was all very new and exciting, I still had my guard up. I didn’t know what to really expect once we met in person. I kept thinking, “Well, what if we have great phone chemistry but not face-to-face chemistry?”

I wasn’t sure at first how to feel about the situation until the day came that we met up on Dec. 3.

By now we had been talking for weeks so we knew a lot about each other already, yet I still had crazy butterflies fluttering inside my tummy.

I kept asking myself: “Will he think I’m pretty enough? Is he just gonna be a nice guy and then blow me off and then I’ll never hear from him again?”

Well, ladies and gentlemen, let me tell ya, the moment I first walked up to him and he flashed that incredible smile and held out his arms for a hug, those butterflies quickly went away.

As cheesy as it sounds, we totally clicked.

Instantly, we were both comfortable talking to each other, no awkward silence (well I am awkward but that’s just inevitable), no sketchiness-just two people hanging out and loving each other’s company as if we had known each other for years.

Halfway through our date, he took me to a small ballroom where it was just the two of us.

He told me to sit in one of the chairs while he made his over to the grand piano that was in the corner.

IS BLOCK

PEXELS

FEATURE PERSPECTIVE With the dim lighting, the cold air and fresh scent of pinewood, he started to play me an original piece he had written and would look up every now and then to wink at me.

It may sound crazy, but it was in that moment that I knew I had feelings for him, and I wanted to keep him in my life.

Was this all just luck? Fate? Chance?

God working in mysterious ways perhaps?

Who knows, we are just glad it happened.

After explaining to everyone how we met (since it is mildly unconventional and non-traditional), and meeting each other’s parents, things have been going so incredibly smooth.

Overall, in my mind, I have found my “Mr.Right.”

How do I know I have?

Mr. Right texts me how my day is going.

Mr. Right invites me to hang out with his friends.

Mr. Right is content if we stay in on Saturdays nights instead of going out.

Mr. Right

PIXABAY

PEXELS

Overall, in my mind, I have found my “Mr.Right.”

How do I know I have?

Mr. Right texts me how my day is going.

Mr. Right invites me to hang out with his friends.

Mr. Right is content if we stay in on Saturdays nights instead of going out.

Mr. Right makes our relationship priority.

Mr. Right likes me for my hilarious personality and intelligence.

Mr. Right enjoys the Snapchats I send him of my triple chin.

Mr. Right respects me.

Mr. Right not only loves me, but also loves God.

Mr. Right makes our relationship priority.

Mr. Right likes me for my hilarious personality and intelligence.

Mr. Right enjoys the Snapchats I send him of my triple chin.

Mr. Right respects me.

Mr. Right not only loves me, but also loves God. And the list could go on and on…

I am not saying Coffee Meets Bagel will give you the same experience it gave me, but it possibly could.

All you have to do is take that chance...

It is the most wonderful feeling in the entire world to be with someone who wants you just as much as you want them.

If you are considering trying out a dating app, remember to be smart about it and not desperate.

Be safe, get to know them first, meet in a public place, never settle for less than you deserve, and use your judgment on who has the truest heart.

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Photographers!

We want to feature your photos in W WU Drama Club’s upcoming Festival of Shorts Submit any of the following shots to Madison.Turner@wallawalla.edu Deadline: Friday Februar y 17 - Thermometer

- First of Snow

- Red and Yellow leaves

- Snow Angel

- Backpack

- Christmas Tree

- Handful of Pencils

- Frozen Lake

- Pile of Textbooks

- Glistening Stream

- School Building

- Budding Flowers

- Empt y Cafeteria Chair

- Flower

- Snowflakes

- Tire Swing

- Icicles

- Field of Flowers

- Wearing Mittens

- Sunset

THE STAFF IS BLOCK

ditor

Editor-in-Chief

Assistant Editor

OPINION/RELIGION PERSPECTIVE

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The Ideal Relationship

rson

Frank Ramirez Head Layout Editor

Yvanna Yvanna Hammen-Alvarez hammen-alvarez Opinion Writer Opinion Writer

R

ed hearts, dark chocolates, and brown Moran teddy bears Christina are flooding the aisles at Devotional Writer r Walmart right now. Well let’s be real, they’ve been there since Thanksgiving. The commercialism for holidays is so huge and it's ridiculous, but that’s a topic for a different Angelica Chan len time. It’s time toFashion step away from all the Writer riter controversy and focus on something like love and relationships.

My opinionMac on Ford relationships is unconventional. Surprise!

Creative Writing & Step one: The ideal relationship starts Contribution Editor iter off with friendship. I think friendship is a beautiful thing that is often taken for granted. I mean, how cool is it that you get Katherine to get toBeckner know and they alesto pick a someone also pick you toCopy get toEditor know, and you find all the weird things you have in common and all the other weird things you learn about each other. Friendship is amazing! The Lopes ability to countGeoffrey on someone to pray with Layout Designer ner you, listen or talk to you, and be happy to see you when you’re around is something I know God made sure to create just so we could be happy. Friendships might just be underrated.

Bryndi Goodlyn ez Step two: Feature If the two friends are being Writer r pushed together by God because He knows

the

Micah Hall Life Editor & Humor Writer

Kyler Alvord News Writer

these two individuals will make a good team for His ministry and what He wants to get Vixie Bailey Drew Sihotang done, then they decide to become a team Religion Writer Religion Writer with the hopes of eventually being teammates for life.

I’ve never been able to relate to the Joni Harris Huso “normal” dating style where youEmily date this Columnist Columnist person for a while and then something terrible happens (like a break-up) and then you heal and find another cool person to date. I’ll Darling Su admit that descripMason Neil may be an exaggerated Culture & Travel tion, but that’s the best I can do as someone Food Writer Writer who can’t relate. And that’s probably because of how I was brought up, and I am thankful for it.

Daniel Villarreal Jordan Brooks I guess if I were to give anyScience advice & onTech Global Service & relationships, it would be to notWriter worry about Global Humanitarian Engineering it. God hasWriter got a teammate for you whose good qualities and imperfections will work together well with your own. Prayer is key in Lindsay Lunasituation like this. Claudia Curtis any big-life Layout Designer Copy Editor When I was in high school, I had a huge list of “Qualifications for Him” that I compiled for my future teammate. And it wasn’t until my second year of college Michael Jenson Brandon Pierce that I realized that that list should be titled Feature Writer Feature Writer “Qualifications for Myself to Attain.” Bettering yourself is the best way to allow God to work with you so you know that you’ll be Cody Wilson ready to beVixie a part of a combo.

AnneMarie Social Media & this in mind, I want Photographer to wish you OfficeWith Manager all a wonderful Valentine’s Day.

going fishing

Mixer

An event for everyone

(not just couples)

SUNDAY, FEB 12 | 7-9 P.M. | ALUMNI BUILDING

GAMES FOOD PRIZES a and PHOTO-BOOTH

vixie bailey Religion Writer

T

here are plenty of fish in the sea. This cliché is so popular that it has generated a dating site, which my dad is on.1 It is also used to console single people, especially around Valentine’s Day. I don’t think that those happily paired-off couples are trying to rub in the fact that you clearly will never find a love as good as theirs, but that is often what it feels like. To the single person, it sounds more like this: “There are plenty of fish in the sea so why on God’s green earth are you single?”

Speaking of fish, did you know that there are so many fish in the Sea of Galilee that one visitor said that you cannot even imagine the amount of fish unless you have seen them?2 Also, even into the modern day 295 tons of fish were caught each year.3 What does this have to do with anything?

I am so glad you asked! This is to illustrate that there are, in fact, plenty of fish in the Sea of Galilee, yet Peter and six of his friends had been fishing all night and they still hadn’t caught anything.4 It must have been frustrating. Here they were, experienced fishermen, and they hadn’t caught even enough for breakfast, let alone any to sell. Just as they were getting ready to go in, a man called to them from the shore asking if they had caught anything. I don’t know about you, but I probably would have been too embarrassed to admit that I hadn’t, especially to a stranger. But the disciples were honest. They said they hadn’t caught anything. “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some,” the man replied.5 When they did, the Bible says that

they caught so many fish that they couldn’t pull in the net. At that moment, they realized that it was Jesus.

So here you are. You will never be surrounded by so many single, young Adventists again, unless you are going to Loma Linda or Andrews, and even then most of them are married. There are plenty of fish in the sea of college, and yet, you are still single. But that’s OK; after all, most of us aren’t even 25. You never know when you are going to meet the person that you are going to marry. I know one thing for sure, though: I want God’s blessing on that when it happens. Yeah, I could settle for someone that isn’t right for me, or I could wait for God’s blessing. The catch that Peter and his friends took in that day was better than their wildest dreams; I firmly believe that God has someone for each one of us that is what we need. Waiting sucks; I have next to no patience for it. But wait I will.

So Valentine's is coming and I am going to a banquet. I’m taking one of my good friends, because I know that I need to wait for God. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”6

1

The joys of having a 58-year-old single dad… and the

awkwardness of setting up his account. It’s like being a wing-woman for your dad…

2

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/

israel/7548606/Fishing-banned-on-the-Sea-of-Galilee.html 3

Up until a five year ban was put on fishing to let the lake

restock.

4 5 6

John 21

John 21:6

Romans 8:28

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PERSPECTIVE DEVOTIONAL

DATE IDEAS Christina Moran Devotional Writer

T

he awesome thing about having a relationship with God is that we can spend time with Him in a way that will be meaningful to us and to Him. Spending time with God is not limited to praying and reading the Bible. Although these are very important aspects of our relationship with Him, there are many other ways we can spend time with Him. Running out of ideas on how to spend time with Him? Here are some things you can do on your daily “dates” with God: 1. Write a letter to God and make a list of your struggles and heartaches and give it all to Him. Seal your letter into an envelope and tie your letter to a balloon. Go outside.

Let the balloon go. Watch it as it seemingly disappears into the sky. Jesus says, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”1

2. Stargaze at Whitman Mission and appreciate the handiwork of God. “O Lord, our Lord, How excellent is Your name in all the earth, Who have set Your glory above the heavens!”2 3. Play a song or two, with whatever instrument you play, and praise His name through music. As it says in Psalm 150:1, “Praise the Lord [; praise] God in His sanctuary; praise Him in His mighty heavens.”3 4. If you love to draw, paint, scrapbook, etc., gather your art supplies, choose one of your favorite Bible verses, and illustrate your chosen verse through art. For example, if you pick the verse Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope,” you can paint, draw, etc. a picture of a road with God in the midst of the path, as He leads the way.4

PEXELS

5. When the sun has gone, gather a couple of your closest friends, bring a blanket or two, buy s’mores supplies, bring a guitar, and go somewhere you can build a bonfire.

Go around in a circle and share how God blessed you during that week. “For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”5

“

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."

6. Choose one of your favorite chapters in the Bible and write it down verbatim into your designated Bible Journal. (The Book of Psalms will have great chapters to choose from. Beautiful and short.) It says in Psalm 119:105 that God’s “word is a lamp to [our] feet [and] a light to [our] path.”6 7. Go to a place where there are no distractions, whether it be your room, an empty hallway when everyone is asleep, outside in the middle of the field, or an empty classroom. Talk to God just as you would a friend. “But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in 1 Matthew 11:28 (NKJV).

2 Psalm 8:1 (NKJV).

3 Psalm 150:1 (NKJV).

4 Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV).

5 Matthew 18:20 (NKJV).

6 Psalm 119:105 (NKJV).

7 Matthew 6:6 (NKJV).

WORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES Here are some options for worship activities on campus this week:

Huebach Morning Worship - Mon-Fri 7:30 a.m. (1 CREDIT) Huebach Worship - Tues 9 p.m. (2 CREDITS) Fireside Worship - Thurs 9:30 p.m. (1 CREDIT) Hispanic Ministries Worship - Mon 7:00 p.m. (1 CREDIT) Hall Worship - Wed 9:30 p.m. (1 CREDIT) Prayer Meetings - Wed 7 p.m. (1 CREDIT) Vespers - Fri 8 p.m. (2 CREDITS) ASWWU

ASWWU

IS BLOCK

CREATIVE WRITING mac ford Creative Writing Editor

This week, we’re featuring Lindsey Haffner, a junior double major in English and French! I love this hilarious nonfiction piece about her adventures while she was a student in the ACA program in France. The ACA school is situated under a mountain called Le Saléve, which is where this particular adventure took place. Enjoy!

STUDENT MISSIONARY

PERSPECTIVE STEPHANIE SEPTEMBRE ACA/SM Writer

SM/ACA & CREATIVE WRITING PERSPECTIVE

I

n France, my school was in a town called Collonges-sous-Salève, meaning “Collonges under the Salève,” the mountain that towered above our campus. My roommate, Sarah, and I often walked to this mountain to go climbing. The most memorable excursion took place on a warm, sunny, autumn afternoon. We completed a few routes, chatting and humming. Soon we began to talk about bucket lists, and then she mentioned something that changed the course of the afternoon.

“There’s one thing I’ve always kinda wanted to do…”

“Tell me.”

She hesitated. “Naked climbing.” I stared blankly. “You heard me.”

A distinct, significant pause. Then I heard myself say, “Let’s do it. Today.”

There wasn’t much discussion after that. I watched her scramble up the mountain like a snowy white gecko.

Her climbing shoes looked severely out of place. She got to the top and issued a “barbaric yawp over the rooftops”1 of the wild.

And then it was my turn. I scampered up; feeling the wind— everywhere—pushing at me. Upon my arrival at the top, I, too, yelled— triumphantly and nakedly. The view was intoxicating. I remember it exactly: the trees adorned flowing fields in the forefront. The pastures were decorated haphazardly with animals. Further out,

the city of Geneva sparkled in the sunlight and the lake sat still. I felt the music in the air as the scene sang to me. Suddenly Sarah’s voice startled me out of my trance: “Are you ever going to come down?”

Climbing down was harder than climbing up. I was about halfway down the route when I heard a bustling. I looked a few dozen yards away and saw a French family of four, hiking a trail adjacent to the now-clothed Sarah. My eyes met the mother of the clan and instantly I was greeted with a look so sour it could suck buttons off a sofa. There was a moment of complete stillness; neither one of us looked away. At this point, all four members of the squad were regarding me in my stupefied countenance, unsure as to whether they should laugh or scold.

One thing they seemed to be sure of: it was absolutely necessary for them to maintain their gaze at me without looking away for what felt like years.

I began to slowly twist my body in a way that would conceal the most evidence of my enterprising escapade.

As I maneuvered my limbs, the family continued to watching mercilessly with the diligent attention of A+ students observing a chemical reaction taking place in a beaker. This process took decades. Finally, I was able to uncomfortably concoct myself into a crouch-like position. I sat there like an

embarrassed cat. Putting my head in between my bare knees, I stared at the rock underneath me, waiting for this awkward encounter to expire.

I suppose at some point the family decided that they were no longer interested in the situation; I heard Sarah finally exhale the cackles she had been saving and I recognized it as a sign of safety. I dashed down the rock and got to my clothes, flinging them onto my body with earnest speed.

I guess I should conclude with a profound metaphor about being vulnerable—exposing yourself to become one with nature and/or one with yourself. But I can’t. Because that’s not what I think about when I think of this story. I think of Sarah, the snowy white gecko. Despite the scarring image I retain of the little French family glaring at me, the sight of her fluorescent figure made the whole experience worth it—and it’s the giggles I still get thinking about it that always win out over the embarrassment I experienced.

What kind of work did you do in Peru?

I taught English to anyone from three-yearolds all the way up to thirty-year-olds, and then I assisted in the medical field, giving medicine. I also flew for some missionaries into the jungle.

the hardest part was being sick. I was sick pretty much the whole time. Everyone gets sick down there.

You worked with AMOR Projects, which is an independent organization operating in Peru. What does that organization do?

They started [with] an engineer and a doctor and slowly it’s grown to become a clinic, and they have a local nurse who works there with a doctor. The SMs just volunteer everything—they don’t get paid at all for anything. There aren’t many places for SMs to go in South America. This is one of the few.

through the SM office here?

It was a struggle because I didn’t know all the paperwork to fill out. Getting insurance was difficult because I had to go through a church and pay the church.

I think it was more of a struggle than beneficial.

In what ways has SM-ing changed you?

It definitely has given me the passion to want to serve as a missionary, whether it’s here in the US or internationally.

Did you like or dislike the work—or a combination of both?

Both. There were hard days, but there were also good days. The kids would greet me and would always say, “Ms. Natalie, we missed you!” every time I missed a day.

What inspired you to become an SM? I was inspired to go because I knew I really like helping people, and I really have a huge passion for working with kids. I love working with kids, and so teaching in the middle of the jungle sounded really adventurous. And they really needed a lot of help, I heard.

The following interview was conducted with Natalie Smith, a junior electrical engineering major, who SM-ed in Pucallpa, Peru, for nine months.

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What was the most difficult part about being an SM? What was the most rewarding aspect?

The most rewarding part was seeing the smiles on the kids’ faces and teaching someone to read a Bible for the very first time. That was very rewarding. But probably

Did you feel the people of Pucallpa are benefiting from the SM program?

I do think it is benefitting a lot of people.

When I was there, I was involved with getting a church started. I saw lots of baptisms. Even now, I’m talking with a friend on Facebook—his English went from literally three words from when I started with him to now he’s writing paragraphs.

It’s really inspirational.

You did not become an SM through Walla Walla University. How was going independently different than going

What would you say to anyone considering SM-ing?

Take time to pray about it. If God is definitely calling you to go, then definitely go. It’s a total life-changer.

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LIFE COLUMN/FASHION

A LIST joni harris Column Writer

F

ebruary is Black History Month, and even though we don’t live in a large city with heaps of events to attend, there are still things we can do here in Walla Walla.

Namely, we caneducate ourselves. Here is a short list of things we can do.1

1. Watch the documentary “13th” on Netflix, you’ll learn a lot.

The film is directed by Ava DuVernay and discusses the disproportionate incarceration rates in the United States that have come about due to a really messed up system and the highly problematic 13th Amendment, which reads: "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except

as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction."2 2. Read “Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave” and any of his other works.

Douglass was an African-American social reformer, abolitionist, orator, writer, statesman, feminist, and so much more.

Some people believe Douglass to still be alive, so read up and decide for yourself.3 3. Attend Walla Walla VA’s annual Black History Month Celebration this Friday at noon at Walla Walla VA’s Theater (Bldg. 78).

Dr. Timothy Golden will be a guest speaker and the theme is “Success Always Leaves Footprints,” a quote by Booker. T.

Washington. The event will be followed by an ethnic potluck.

4. During discussion over Senator Sessions’ confirmation on Tuesday, Senator Warren quoted a letter written by Coretta Scott King that was written over 30 years ago during Sessions’ failed judicial nomination that stated, “Sessions used his power to ‘chill the free exercise of the vote by black citizens.’"4 Reading this put Senator Warren “in violation of senate rules for ‘impugning the motives’ of Sessions” and therefore Warren is now forbidden from speaking any further on the matter of Sessions’ confirmation.5 So, even though those words of Coretta Scott King can’t be heard in the United States Senate, we can still read and share them freely, so do that! Do that now!

5. Be actively engaged.

Call your representatives. Legislation that affects one group of people, affects us all. And speak up when you hear something said or see something done that is disrespectful towards, or devalues anyone.

So those are a few things we can all do, sorry if it was too political. #BlackLivesMatter

You can actually do these things anytime, not just during February. Except number three, that one is pretty time specific.

2 The Constitution...

3 The president. The president of the United States thinks he is still alive.

4 http://abc7.com/politics/elizabeth-warren-rebuked-forquoting-coretta-scott-king-on-senate-floor/1743411/ 5 Ibid.

1

VALENTINE’S DAY angelica chan Fashion Writer

V

POLYVORE

2. Casual If you’re going out with a bunch of friends or on a casual date, obviously your choice of clothing items will change. It’s a little chilly still, so I would opt for a light sweater or nicer shirt in a festive color, layered with a heavier jacket. That way, you won’t be cold outside, but you won’t overheat if your destination still has the heat cranked up. A pair of dark-wash jeans is always a decent choice when going somewhere casual.

I would suggest making sure your pair doesn’t have holes or fraying to keep it nice for the occasion.

POLYVORE

3. Staying In If you like the holiday but don’t have any special plans, your outfit can still be both holiday- and school-appropriate. A cute pair of heart-patterned socks or a pair of red skinny jeans would perfectly invoke the day without being too much.

POLYVORE

alentine’s Day has always reminded me of getting candy and paper hearts in elementary school: cute and fun, but maybe a little cheesy. With the day approaching, I have had a few people ask me how to dress in a way that attracts others. I am not a believer in dressing for anyone other than yourself. That being said, a great outfit always gives me a confidence boost and confidence is a good thing, whatever your plans may be. Maybe you and your long-time S.O. are going out to dinner. Maybe you have a casual date lined up for that night. Or maybe you just have too much schoolwork to bother with the holiday. Regardless, you have to wear something on Tuesday, so you might as well make it fun.

1. Dressy If you’re going out to a nice dinner, you’ll want to dress for the occasion. In my opinion, there aren’t enough opportunities to dress up in life. Picking a darker shade of red is a less obvious choice for Valentine’s Day. If you’re putting in the effort to get all dressed up, don’t forget about your outerwear—it’s a shame to cover up a cute outfit with a jacket that isn’t as nice. A good pea coat has been my go-to nicer coat in the weather we’ve had recently. Also, if you’re going out with a date and planning on taking pictures, it can be worth the extra couple seconds to coordinate your color palette. You don’t have to be matching—just not clashing.

IS BLOCK

CULTURE/COLLEGIAN WISDOM LIFE

COLLEGIAN WISDOM California man told he was “just fat” for years has 130-pound tumor removed.

Still fat, though.

THE TYPES OF GUYS

YOU MEET WHILE TRAVELING

The Work Traveler. The “I am on a business trip” traveler. They have their lives figured out, and are living the dream. Their office can be anywhere on the globe. Being paid to fly first class and spend the night at luxurious hotels at some company’s expense surely is a glamorous way of traveling.

darling su Culture Writer

W

e travel for various reasons— history, culture, art, food, adventure, the list goes on. But travel is also about the people you meet along the way. When traveling, you are freed from the dull routines and restrictions of home. Feelings flourish on a whole different curve altogether once you hit foreign ground. Bonds form quickly, and you cannot stop thinking about how everything feels right. Though you may not actually be in love with him, or even see him again, here is a peek at some of the guys you meet while traveling: The Boy. The 18-year-old fresh out of high school, who has been everywhere, but has no clue about the world and does not plan on going home anytime soon. Verdict: avoid whenever possible.

The Hostel Worker. These are the longterm hostelers. He is the adventurous and easygoing guy who was traveling and decided to stay, making you reconsider the notion of money.

The Local. You spotted each other from afar and instantly felt a connection. When the opportunity finally comes to talk to each other, he hardly speaks a word of English. I mean…a never-ending game of charades is always entertaining.

PIXABAY

The Broke Backpacker. He may be starving because his money is always spent on traveling, but he has been to countries you didn’t even know existed. He speaks a mosaic of languages, and his travel stories never end.

The Canadian. You thought he was American at first, but “you know, eh” gave it away. I can guarantee they will always be friendly and impeccably polite (unless you mistake them for an American). If you hit them, they will apologize.

PIXABAY

The Guy with the Guitar in the Hostel.

There is at least one in every hostel. With his long blond hair, he is the inner circle at the hostel. He is approachable, and loves to entertain.

The Stalker. At first you feel flattered by the amount of attention he gives you, though you have only talked for an hour, and before you know it, he casually has dropped his travel route to join yours. He is the one who will ask “So, what are we doing today?”

The One Who Sticks. The lucky one, whom you met on the last day of your trip.

But turns out the universe is with you for once, and he lives 20 minutes away from where you live.

As Nicholas Sparks wrote in “The Notebook,” “Summer romances end for all kinds of reasons. But when all is said and done, they have one thing in common: They are shooting stars—a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, a fleeting glimpse of eternity.

And in a flash, they’re gone.”

Maple syrup spill shuts down Vermont highway.

Sounds like a sticky situation.

After groundhog predicts more winter, Michigan man calls for impeachment.

The groundhog failed to divest from his business.

Border patrol agents in California found 50 pounds of meth in a hybrid car’s gas tank.

Pulled over for speeding.

South Carolina man wins two lottery jackpots in one day.

10,000 other South Carolina men lose two lottery jackpots in one day.

Sean Spicer says Trump does not own a bathrobe.

Trump does not cry or sweat, Spencer confirms.

Border officers find two pounds of weed disguised as limes.

Update: Border officers found one pound, 15 ounces of weed disguised as limes.

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LIFE #THECOLLEGIAN

#THECOLLEGIAN

DEREKGLATTS

CODY_ANGEVINE_

WWUAVIATION

INSTA_KRIS48DB

VITALIYKRIVORUK

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SCIENCE LIFE

21

DARK TECHNOLOGY:

JUST BECAUSE WE CAN DOESN’T MEAN WE SHOULD

PIXABAY

PART ONE—AGENT ORANGE jordan brooks Science Writer

S

ome would argue the pursuit of better weapons has been a main driving force of human history—from stone, to wood, to metals, and more. In ancient times, weapons technologies were imperative for enabling localized empires to grow and maintain dominance; however, with the Enlightenment, an exponential growth in scientific understanding has led to the development of weapons technologies of unimaginable power. Power to translate damage to a population genetically through time, power to destroy populations of people en masse, and power to potentially destroy humanity and the world as we know it. Over the next couple of weeks, we are going to focus on some historical examples of technologies that may have been seen as “progress” at the time, but in hindsight are understood to be missteps.

These technologies beg us to ask the question: just because we can, should we?

Hopefully, by studying the mistakes of our past, we can avoid making these mistakes in the future.

Vietnam is densely forested. During the Vietnam War, the U.S. developed a novel method of dealing with the difficult terrain by utilizing the herbicide and defoliant known as Agent Orange. Agent Orange is a 1:1 mixture of two chlorinated chemicals (2,4,5-D & 2,4,5-T) that naturally decompose quickly, making them seemingly safe with a short-term effect. However, it was later discovered that these two chemicals react to form a more noxious chemical, known as a dioxin.

Dioxins are more stable chemicals that persist in environments, organisms, and humans for decades after application.1 By the end of the war, over 18 million gallons of Agent Orange were sprayed over 3.6 million acres in Southern Vietnam, which included agricultural areas and forests.2 Unfortunately, the wide array of toxic effects of Agent Orange were not fully understood prior to its use, yet even in our blindness we chose to use the substance.

Sadly, its misuse during the Vietnam War has permanently harmed the ecological diversity, the genetic makeup of the Vietnamese people, and even the health of those who produced, handled, and applied the noxious chemical.

The fine tuning of ecological systems is carefully balanced over long periods time. The plants, animals, fungi, and even bacteria support each other in a sensitive equilibrium. The sheer removal of nearly 20 percent of the plants in Southern Vietnam led to an “overnight” shift in the ecological equilibrium, resulting in habitat loss for many species and loss of the base of the food chain.3 On top of that, the concentration of dioxins in the soil remains around 1 g/kg to this day, which is notably high and persistent.4 Due to bioaccumulation, dioxins become more concentrated as they move up the food chain (from soil to plants to herbivores to predators). This combination of habitat removal and high toxin concentrations led to a stark decrease in biodiversity in this area—an area known for the presence of tigers, elephants, leopards, water buffalo, and many other species. A Harvard biologist found that around 150 species of birds and 40 species of mammals in unsprayed forests in Southern Vietnam and 24 species of birds and 5 species of

mammals in sprayed forests.5 In other words, Agent Orange led to an 84 percent loss in bird species and a 87.5 percent loss in mammal species.

Not only did the use of Agent Orange permanently maim the ecosystem of Southern Vietnamese forests, it also negatively impacted the health of the local population of humans—who are also an important part of the ecosystem. Of the millions of people exposed to Agent Orange, the Red Cross estimates that one million of those people have suffered from health problems.6 Common health problems include a variety of cancers, Parkinson’s disease, and birth defects including cleft palate and spina bifida.7 Sadly, because of the persistence of dioxins in the environment, the negative health effects are not just affecting those who were directly exposed during the war. A study in 2011 found that the concentrations of dioxins in breast milk of women in areas sprayed during the Vietnam War were three to four times higher than those in unsprayed areas.8 The plethora of negative health effects related to exposure to Agent Orange has lead the United Nations to label it "one of the most toxic compounds known to humans."9 Perhaps the application of Agent Orange can at best be described as an innocent mistake. While the understanding of the time was that its original component parts (2,4,5-D & 2,4,5-T) decomposed rapidly and did not display any harmful effects, this is no excuse. With the power to create new chemicals and chemical weaponry comes the added responsibility to holistically understand them before application. This seems obvious in retrospect; however, I suggest that we develop a skeptical mantra. Something

like, “What new technologies am I (are we) using on a daily basis? How do they work? What studies have verified their safety?” Yes, this may seem a bit paranoid.

But realizing that if these questions were asked about Agent Orange, we could have saved the lives of millions of people and the rich biodiversity of Southern Vietnam motivates me to keep them in mind.

Banout, Jan, et al. “Agent Orange Footprint Still Visible in Rural Areas of Central Vietnam.” Journal of Environmental and Public Health. Volume 2014 (2014), Article ID 528965. http://dx.doi. org/10.1155/2014/528965 2 Committee to Review the Health Effects in Vietnam Veterans of Exposure to Herbicides (Ninth Biennial Update); Board on the Health of Select Populations; Institute of Medicine. Veterans and Agent Orange: Update 2012. Washington (DC): National Academies Press (US); 2014 Mar 6. 3, Exposure to the Herbicides Used in Vietnam. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm. nih.gov/books/NBK195087/ 3 Banout, Jan, et al. “Agent Orange Footprint Still Visible in Rural Areas of Central Vietnam.” Journal of Environmental and Public Health. Volume 2014 (2014), Article ID 528965. http://dx.doi. org/10.1155/2014/528965 4 ibid.

5 Chiras, Daniel D. (2010). Environmental science (8th ed.). Jones & Bartlett. p. 499. ISBN 978-0-7637-5925-4.

6 “Vietnam Red Cross urges more aid for Agent Orange casualties.” International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies. 14 March 2002. Accessed 05 February 2017. http://www.ifrc.org/en/news-and-media/ news-stories/asia-pacific/vietnam/vietnam-red-crossurges-more-aid-for-agent-orange-casualties/ 7 “Veterans’ Diseases Associated with Agent Orange.”

U.S. Deparment of Veteran Affairs. Accessed 05 February 2017. http://www.publichealth.va.gov/exposures/ agentorange/conditions/index.asp 8 Tai PT, Nishijo M, Kido T, Nakagawa H, Maruzeni S, Naganuma R, Anh NT, Morikawa Y, Luong HV, Anh TH, Hung NN, Tawara K, Nishijo H. Dioxin concentrations in breast milk of Vietnamese nursing mothers: A survey four decades after herbicide spraying. Environmental Science and Technology.

2011;45(15):6625–6632.

9 Jessica King (2012-08-10). U.S. in first effort to clean up Agent Orange in Vietnam. CNN. Retrieved 2012-08-11 1

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LIFE HUMOR

HOW TO START A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP

THROUGH ONLINE DATING micah hall Humor Writer

I

have a lot of experience with online dating.

I had multiple online dating profiles for years and they were all excellent. I am an expert at finding love on the internet.

Because of my expert status, I have decided to generously give out my professional online dating tips for free.1 These tips are all based on my real-life experience.

Tip #1: Get a good profile pic.

No one wants to look at a lame profile. You need a good profile picture so that your potential suitors know how good you could potentially look. As an example, this is the photo I used as my Tinder profile picture for years with much success. The hat adds an air of sophistication to an already sophisticated photograph.2 Tip #2: Swipe everyone right.3 Thanks to Tinder, basically every dating app gives you the option to swipe right.

Whenever possible, swipe people right. It

is just a numbers game. Sure, right now you might have standards that you want upheld in your potential life-mate. That will not always be the case. Eventually, you will become sad, move your age range to 18-65+, and start accepting any signs of affection.

This is normal and good.

Tip #3: Go on one date with whoever will accept you.

As soon as you get a match, immediately set up a date. In my experience, it will take 20-30 conversations before anyone will say yes or acknowledge your pickup lines. After you have gotten their attention with some smart political commentary, reel them in by inviting them to a place with food.4

Tip #5: Cancel brunch with the person you met online.

Now that you have a long-term partner, you should cancel your date with the random online person. Since you have already prepared for brunch, you can use your brunch supplies to make brunch with your new sweetheart.

1 I have a girlfriend (sorry) and no longer have a need for online dating. Since dating without the intent to marry is both wrong and physically impossible, Abby and I will be getting married and I will never create another Tinder profile again.

2 For men, I would suggest wearing a trilby similar to the one I used in my photograph. It makes you look like a classy intellectual. For women, I would also suggest wearing a trilby.

3 When you swipe someone right, you are saying you are interested in them.

4 If you are fancy, you can invite them to brunch at your house.

5 Not your dumb musician friend who got a “certification” on the “internet.”

6 They are paying for the wedding and you need to remember that when you make these decisions.

Tip #4: Start dating someone you already know.

The next step might be a bit confusing, but it works. After you ask out your Tinder match, you should immediately start dating someone you already know very well. This will be great and you will love exploring romance with your new partner.

THE IMPACT OF COFFEE

Sprudge, a Portland-based coffee blog, has defined themselves as “your home for global coffee culture and original journalism.” They have a vibrant Instagram account with global influence, and they used that influence to incite a bit of a revolution this past weekend. All their efforts were in support of the American Civil Liberties Union. They arranged a fund-matching program with 26 cafes, and over 600 cafes around the world followed suit—some cafes matched overall sales, some matched tips received, some gave a percentage all with the common denominator of supporting justice.

A bunch of really small cafes have banned together to make a huge contribution— that’s cool!

So keep an eye out for local shops.

Thank the activists guised as shopowners, roasters, and baristas for not only re-inventing the way you see coffee, but for reinventing the way the world’s least fortunate see America’s astounding consumption of it.

BRENNAN HOENES Contributing Writer

I

made a comment in an interview once about “coffee as a conduit for justice.” I didn't really know what I was talking about.

Thanks to our vibrant and healthy political scene, a new level of activism has recently surfaced that makes my statement seem oddly relevant.

I know what you’re thinking: “You’re that pretentious punk that works in craft coffee and thinks four bucks for a small cup should be standard. You couldn't possibly understand activism for everyone when you deal in an everyday luxury.” And in some respects, that couldn't be more accurate. But there’s a reason I think you should pay a pretty penny for the luxury of coffee—I am convicted that the farmers, the harvesters, the coffee mill operators, and even the minimum-wage baristas who only get to talk to you before you’ve had your morning cup, should all get paid a fair wage.

Tip #6: Get married to your new love by a real pastor, not one of your dumb friends.

The final step in this plan is to get married to your new partner. This marriage will be a sign to everyone that you are committed to each other for life. Make sure that the ceremony is in a church, performed by a real pastor,5 and that you make your parents proud.6

PEXELS

1 http://whitmanwire.com/feature/2016/12/01/the-atlas-cafe/ 2 http://sprudge.com/about

IS BLOCK

ASWWU SNAPSHOTS LIFE

ASWWU SNAPSHOTS

COLLEGIAN

MATCHMAKER

MIRANDA TOWLER

KYLE PROCTOR

It's time to reveal this week's chosen single people. Come by the ASWWU offices to pick up your gift card or contact matthew.moran@wallawalla.edu.

Enjoy your sponsored date!

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SUNNY

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KANYE WEST CONTEXT NO INFO GOES ON THI

HOW TO SNAG A BOO BY VALENTINE'S DAY lauren wahlen Backpage Writer

I

’m a bit of an expert in two particular areas: making small-talk with the cashiers at Wal-Mart 1 and running. 2 You’ll notice please, how the category “love/romance” is excluded; that was intentional. Now, one would assume that people wouldn’t ask me for relationship advice, given how little I know about all matters regarding ~love~. 3 But nope. Maybe it’s because I have a degree in counseling, or maybe it’s because I end all of my advice with: “but tbh I could be totally wrong” 4...Idk man, I’m mystified as to why they keep asking me, the face of Forever Alone™, what they should do to fix their love life. But whatever, who knows? Maybe I was actually born to be a love guru, and I just forgot to charge my phone before destiny tried to call. I have no idea. But in the spirit of old Saint Valentine, I’ll mask my self-doubt with self-loathing and give some advice on how to get a boo in under a week. So look alive, all you lonely hearts, and pay attention! If you follow my words of wisdom, you just may find yourself in love, in a relationship, or...in jail. 5 Swiper start swiping: Your soulmate is just a swipe away! Download Tinder, and find the love of your life. It hasn’t worked for me of course, but then again, I Tindered wrong. 6 But, if you’re not just using it for amusement, maybe it’ll actually work. So get to it. Start swiping now, and don’t stop until someone, anyone, agrees to go on a Valentine’s date with you. That’s when you’ll know that you two are just meant to be.

Kidnap a classmate: Step 1: Ask a classmate to come to your house for a little study sesh. Step 2: Prepare a very nice meal. Step 3: Welcome them inside when they arrive. Step 4: Lock them up and force them to join your homemade romantic dinner for two. 7 Fight the friendzone: As a friendzone ambassador, I’m here to say that you have three options: 1) try to get them to see you

as more than a friend 2) give up, and just be friends 3) unfriend your friends irl, because you can't be in the friendzone if you don't have any friends!

Blackmail: Convince someone to do something they’ll regret. Tell them you’ll do it too, but back out on the last minute and just film them doing it instead. Make sure to put it on multiple thumb drives (or ~the cloud~, if you know how, cuz I sure don’t) for extra insurance. Then, ask them out! If they say no, I don’t blame them cuz you’re a terrible person for doing this, but remind them that you’ve got dirt on them. E.g. “Hey, do you want me to post that video of you yodeling in your underwear?” They may just change their mind.

Bribery: If none of the above work, you can always try to pay someone to go out on a date with you. True, you may chew too loud, or think racism doesn’t exist, or only talk about your exes, but maybe there’s someone out there who’d rather deal with you than student debt?

One of them friended me on Facebook. Now I usually opt for the self-checkout section.

2 Running late, that is. Just making sure you guys actually read these lil notes.

3 Unless we’re talking about dogs, pizza, or TV. I could/do talk about loving those things without hesitation.

4 I always make sure to use this disclaimer, so they can’t blame me if my advice ruins their relationship.

5 Please don’t actually try #2 (or #4, for that matter).

They’re bad, and not in the “bad boy” way. They’re just awful. So be a good human and don’t try these at home... or anywhere.

6 I mostly just swiped right on the guys that had phrases like “try to keep me interested” and “I’m not easily entertained” in their bios, by spamming them with the most boring facts about myself that I could think of (I’m not missing any of my toes, I like nice weather, etc). But they still messaged back? LIKE UGH JUST LET ME TROLL YOU ALREADY. 7 I’d like to reiterate that you should not do this. It is wrong to kidnap someone, and Stockholm syndrome is a very serious psychological condition. Speaking of, “Beauty and the Beast” is coming to theaters soon. Yayyy.

TWO TRUTHS

& A LIE

Last week’s lie: “Meske used to be an all-girl's dorm, until the college decided that the campus might look more appealing to prospective students if it offered a dorm that appeared to be co-ed.”

Heyooo free Atlas drink to the first student who emails me at lauren.wahlen@wallawalla.edu and says which of the WWU facts below is actually a lie!

The Conard Fountain was torn down after a group of male students threw one of their newly engaged friends into the fountain to congratulate him, and broke his back.

The painting of Kretchmar was taken down for cleaning due to someone drawing a mustache on his face.

The Administration building had to be renovated after an arsonist set fire to the top floor.

VERBATIM

1

“I’m your biggest fan. That’s my favorite student joke.

I roll around in bed sometimes thinking about it.”

—Professor Dan Lamberton waving papers at students.

“Okay class, do we want coke, meth, or LSD?” —Professor Linda Ivy talking about using an online program to analyze the effects of drugs on mice.

“Yeah, let’s talk about God’s mouth.”

—Professor Joel Libby talking about art.

Email me at lauren.wahlen@wallawalla.edu if you hear a staff/faculty member say anything hilarious, scandalous, or just plain weird. I know it’s hard to pay attention in class, but do it for this section. Do it for the backpage. Do it for the Vine. (RIP Vine)

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