Volume 101 Issue 14

The Collegian Walla Walla University

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Volume 101

Issue 14

02 FEB 2017

Foreign Aid FollIES

11 FASHION

10 Re: FEMINISM

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dear reader, Some of you may have heard about a documentary entitled “Poverty, Inc.” This is perhaps one of the most sobering and awakening films since “Blackfish” (which officially ruined Seaworld for me, but helped me realize the truth behind the fairytales that we tell ourselves).

I hope you keep an open mind as you hear our feature writers tackle the problems highlighted by “Poverty, Inc.” and how these problems apply to each one of our lives, especially as students at a service-oriented Adventist university. I also hope that you will enjoy the other surprises we have in store for you in the following pages.

Thank you for keeping The Collegian alive through your generous support, encouragement, and contributions.

You can send any comments, questions, or contributions to aswwu. collegian@wallawalla.edu or matthew.moran@wallawalla.edu.

As always, enjoy and IPFY (i.e. I’m praying for you) every day!

These are a few of my favorite things about Walla Walla University… #1 Our school has many places to study on campus. #2 Our school has an esoteric history about a “half-tree” symbol. #3 Our school has some really cool underground tunnels.

There are many entrances to these tunnels all around campus, including the doors by Centennial Green, Kretschmar, and the FAC. The underground tunnels connect the entire campus. There are pipelines, ancient phones, and half-trees throughout the tunnels. Just another low-key, deep (get it...tunnels are deep underground? Haha tunnel jokes for the win) secret about WWU (aka Western Wedding University).

Editor-in-chief Matthew Moran

context

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@Herb Landau

Perspective

LIFE

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Table of Contents | 02 News & Senate | 03 Week in Forecast | 04

editor-in-chief Matthew Moran assistant editor Abigail Wissink Head layout editor Frank Ramirez Head Copy editor Sophia Rich

Feature | 05 Worship Opportunities | 08 Devotional & Opinion | 10 Fashion & ACA/SM | 11

layout designers Anna-Marie Vargas Claudia Curtis Geoffrey Lopes Hannah Chebeleu

columnist Joni Harris

news writers Kyler Alvord Lauren Epperson

Fashion writer Angelica Chan

Copy Editors Katherine Beckner Amelia Pekar food writer Mason Neil feature editors Michael Jensen Ysabela Ramirez Bryndilynn Goodlyn

Life editor Micah Hall

humor writer Micah Hall

backpage editor Lauren Wahlen

opinion writer Yvanna Hammen-Alvarez

religion writer Vixie Bailey

@ Stephanie Septembre

Devotional writer Christina Moran

@Mason Neil

Religion & Creative Writing | 12 Humor & Column | 13 Science | 14 Food | 15 Sunny Side Up | 16

If you are interested in contributing to The Collegian, speak with one of our illustrious staff members. The Collegian is enhanced by regularly incorporating a wide range of campus perspectives.

Culture/travel writer Darling Su ACA/SM Editor Stephanie Septembre Science writer Jordan Brooks Creative writing editor Mac Ford global service writer Daniel Villarreal

Cover Credit: ASWWU The Collegian is the official publication of ASWWU. Its views and opinions are not necessarily the official stance of Walla Walla University or its administration, faculty, staff, or students. Questions, letters, and comments can be sent to aswwu. collegian@wallawalla.edu or matthew.moran@wallawalla.edu. This issue was completed at 2:00 A.M. on Thursday, February 2 , 2017.

Office Manager AnneMarie Vixie distributor Victoria Ico

The Collegian | Volume 101, Issue 14 | 204 S. College Avenue, College Place, WA 99324 https://issuu.com/aswwucollegian

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NEWS CONTEXT

SEE YOU AGAIN SOON, HIGH SCHOOLERS Kyler Alvord News Writer

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ampus filled up last weekend as academies from all over the western United States and Canada brought student athletes to compete in the annual Friendship Tournament.

The tournament, hosted by Walla Walla University and Walla Walla Valley Academy, brings hundreds of potential future Wolves to the Valley. While the focus of the event is on sports, its impact reaches beyond the realm of athletics.

Many WWU students first visited campus thanks to a sports tournament, and the cooperation between on-campus departments allowed one of the largest WWU recruiting events to run smoothly.

The Marketing and Enrollment Services staff spent a significant amount of time preparing for—and running—the weekend’s events, and Twitter flooded with enthusiasm from our campus and staff pages.

The residence halls echoed with the sound of new voices as the academy athletes saw what dorm life is all about at WWU,

SENATE and jaws dropped when they heard that the cafeteria follows an all-you-can-eat system.

Now, the academy students have returned home and there’s room to park at the WEC again, but in four weeks, WWU will see even larger crowds for March U-Days.

When the time comes for another recruiting event, keep your smiles on and maybe even sacrifice some floor space to host people in your dorm room—the students you run into could be serving you in the DX or answering your questions in the financial aid office next year.

COLLEGIAN ART T

Sarah fandrich Contributing Writer

oday, I wish to write to you all about a very large subject in a small way: art.

There is much to be said about the enormous world of art, but my ardent hope is that this article encourages you to seek art that speaks to you and create some yourself.

Throughout history, art has preserved past perceptions of beauty, wealth, religion, social practice and more. Observing the different art movements, from the Renaissance to the contemporary art of today, one can observe how those perceptions have shifted, in some cases, from one side of the spectrum to the opposite.

Art is so incredible because it offers to the opportunity for artists to express their soul in a beautiful way through their brush, the same way that a writer does with their pen.

Last quarter, I was given the opportunity to coordinate art around the Atlas,1 as well as the Global Service art auction. I wanted to provide student artists with a space to share a part of themselves through their art and to show the student body the incredible talent on our campus.

The pieces I received varied in size, color, medium and technique, but all possessed personal creative expression.2 In asking the artists to describe their work, I was given a unique revelation of the shared desire to build and create.

BLACK HISTORY MONTH Lauren Epperson News Writer

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s January comes to a close, February brings with it Valentine’s Day and, of course, Black History Month.

WWU likes to take part in celebrating this part of our American history with a Black History Weekend. This includes vespers and church programs by some of our own community members. Music will be led by the praise team from Berean, a student-led church. These services will focus on African American culture while praising the Lord.

Also take note that church services will start 10 minutes earlier this week, so make sure you aren’t late.

Black History Month goes back to look at the role that African Americans have played in the history of the United States. It is undeniable the role that they have played in the building of this country, and history in general. Other countries, such as the United Kingdom and Canada, have also starting celebrating the history of black culture.

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I think young people are often discouraged from pursuing things we cannot master or perfect. The beauty of art lies in that the creator is the master. Much like the artists themselves are a unique creation, their art is unlike art other because it is a reflection of their soul. This reflection is the way by which those who pick up a brush give us a glimpse into the compelling heart enigmatic mind of the artist.

1 Shameless plug for this beloved establishment. Take time to share coffee and conversation in this place. I believe you will be pleasantly surprised.

2 If you have not yet made your way to the Atlas, or taken the time to look at the art, I encourage you to do so.

Election Events ASWWU CONFAB 1: Feb 8 @8 p.m. in Village Hall

This week, Senate had six bills in old business and five bills in new business

OLD BUSINESS G.L. 7 - EVP BILL AUTHORSHIP G.L. 8 - FACULTY AND STAFF ATTENDANCE REQUIREMENT G.L. 9 - CONSTITUTIONAL STATEMENT OF INCLUSIVITY These bills were tabled for one week because Governance Committee could not find time to meet.

F.L. 4 - SM MEDIA FLASH DRIVES This bill passed. It will provide funds for flash drives to be sent to SMs with all of the year’s Collegians, ASWWU Videos, and ASWWU Photos.

F.L. 5 - PRE-PROFESSIONAL CLUB FORUM FUNDING This bill was tabled for one week to gather more information.

F.L. - DRUM KIT This bill passed and will provide funding for a drum kit that will be used for on-campus events.

new BUSINESS P.L. 29 - CONCURRENT POSITION FOR HANNAH CHEBELEU This bill is confirming Hannah’s employment status.

P.L. 30 - JARED JAMIESON FOR ASWWU VIDEO This bill is confirming Jared’s employment status.

F.L. 7 - PORTLAND WATER BOTTLE FILLING STATION This bill provides funds for a new drinking fountain with a water bottle filler for the Portland Campus.

G.L. 10 - QUASI-ENDOWMENT ACCESSIBILITY This bill changes how we can spend money from the quasi-endowment and when we can access it.

PRIMARY ELECTIONS: Feb 14 @11a.m. in the WWU Church

G.L. 11 - CAPITAL RESERVE REQUIREMENT This bill removes the capital reserve requirement since that is now being fulfilled by the quasi-endowment and department budgets.

ASWWU CONFAB 2: Feb 15 @8 p.m. in the FAC Auditorium

If you have any questions about these bills, contact your senator. More information will be available in your Senate update email!

GENERAL ELECTIONS: Feb 21 @11 a.m. in the WEC

There is an opening for a senator in District 7 - Hallmark Apartments/Faculty Court/ University-Owned Housing. Email Chris Ghazal if you would like to run.

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CONTEXT WEEK IN FORECAST

WEEK IN FORECAST THURSDAY

FRIDAY

@PIXABAY

@PEXELS

SATURDAY

@PIXABAY

Feb 2

Feb 3

Feb 4

Black History Month Dinner 5-7 p.m. in the Caf

Wolves Basketball vs.

Southern Oregon University 12:30 p.m.

Sabbath Seminar with Terrie Aamodt “The Hermeneutics of Oppresion” 10:30 a.m. in CTC 105

World Cancer Day

Math Club Sledding Open to All 12 p.m. at Fort Walla Walla BMX Track

SUNDAY

MONDAY

TUESDAY

@ASWWU

@PEXELS

@GOOGLE

Feb 5

Feb 6

Feb 7

OPS/AGA Worships 9:30-10 p.m.

LSAT Test All Day in Meske Hall

Senior Recognition CommUnity 11 a.m. in the University Church Guest Recital 6 p.m. in the FAC Auditorium

Coming up

February 2-5 Black History Month Celebration

February 10 Freshmen Soup Dinner

February 12 Valentine’s Mixer

February 9 Fight the Winter Luau Lunch

February 11 Battle of the Bands

February 24-26 42nd Annual AAUW Book Sale Marcus Whitman Hotel

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FEATURE PERSPECTIVE

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FOREIGN AID & PATERNALISM

PIXABAY

Stephanie septembre Contributor Writer

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ince 1995, the American government has provided over $13 billion in subsidies to American rice farmers,1 and every year hundreds of thousands of tons of American rice are shipped to Haiti where the rice is sold for incredibly low prices. White rice, once considered a luxury in the Haitian diet, has now become the staple food, and many local rice farmers, who receive no assistance from their own government, have either been put out of business or struggle to break even because of competition with cheap foreign rice.

Essentially, the American government promoted mass productions of rice on American soil and then pressured Haiti to lower tariffs, which allowed excess American product to flood the Haitian market. While American farmers have benefited, the effect on the Haitian economy has been disastrous.

As the demand for foreign products grew, so did poverty levels.3 Rural farmers were forced into urban areas, where there was a massive expansion of slums on a fault line, resulting in even higher casualty levels during the 2010 earthquake in Port-au-Prince.4 In 2010, Bill Clinton issued an official apology for pressuring the Haitian government to drop tariffs, saying, “It may have been good for some of my farmers in Arkansas, but it has not worked… I have to live every day with the consequences of the lost capacity to produce a rice crop in Haiti to feed those people, because of what I did.”5 Haiti remains the poorest country in the Americas and one of the poorest in the world.6 Perhaps equally alarming is the fact Haiti has more Non-Governmental Agencies

(NGOs)7 per capita than any other country – before the 2010 earthquake, a conservative estimate of over 10,000.8 Some 80 percent of the country’s basic services are provided

by NGOs;9 locals have gone so far as to nickname their country “The Republic of NGOs.”10 And yet, with all this foreign aid, the country is still poor. Why? Aid doesn’t work in the long-term. Not once in history has a country received so much aid that it stopped being poor.

In times of crisis, during war or natural disasters, of course aid should be given to those in need. Governments are often stretched to their limit or incapacitated, and access to basic necessities is cut off. Human decency propels immediate action from the outside world. The problem is when the dust settles and relief agencies set up camp for good.

The film “Poverty, Inc.” explores the problems of long-term aid. It features interview after interview of locals in developing countries condemning foreign interference: second-hand clothing has destroyed Kenya’s textile industry; donations after the earthquake nearly ruined Haitian entrepreneurs; and how many cobblers has TOMS put out of business? As one Haitian puts it, “They’re trying to find ways for them to keep giving away free stuff, as if they didn’t want the Haitians to stand up for themselves.”

While the film criticizes aid, it does not condemn people’s good intentions. Most donate because they see a need, and by giving they are told they can help. The problem then lies not with individuals but with the fundamentally-flawed system, a system based on paternalism in which countries, NGOs, entrepreneurs, and anyone of affluence governs others “in the manner of a father dealing benevolently and often intrusively with his children.”11

Here is an example: TOMS, millenials’ favorite shoe brand, was founded in 2006 by Blake Mycoskie with the intent of donating one pair of shoes to an impoverished child for every pair purchased.12 In one of TOMS’ commercials, Mycoskie states that “as long as I keep continuing to sell shoes, these kids are going to have shoes for the rest of their lives.” A Haitian was shown this commercial, and he responded, “There’s no word to describe this. Saying that he’s going to supply shoes for people for the rest of their lives is implying that he would want people to stay without shoes for their life so he can give them shoes.”13 It’s unlikely Mycoskie actually wants the poor to stay poor, but whether consciously or unconsciously, he assumes that they will always be poor, meaning they will depend on him. This assumption that the poor are helpless and need constant assistance is paternalism. Paternalism, though it may alleviate short-term needs, fosters a culture of begging that does not pull people out of poverty.

Nobel Prize winner Angus Deaton, an economist from Princeton University, has studied poverty in India and South Africa and spent decades at the World Bank.

According to his research, countries that receive more aid are worse off economically.14 During the ‘80s and ‘90s when levels of aid soared in Africa, the economy was at its worst.15 Deaton believes that when rich nations try to help they are corrupting governments and slowing growth. What these countries need is not aid, but an effective and stable government, which foreign aid often undermines. Deaton also feels that the rhetoric of aid based on paternalistic thought-the idea of swooping in to save impoverished nations-is “suspiciously similar”16 to colonialism.

Herman Chinery-Hesse, the “Bill Gates

of Africa,”17 agrees. When his software company teamed up with other local companies to bid for a contract from the Ghana government, they were turned down in favor of a European company, which had persuaded its government to give Ghana a soft loan in exchange for the contract. Chinery-Hesse’s company was hired as subcontractors by the Europeans and left with the brunt of the work while the European company reaped the profits.18 Chinery-Hesse was even told by his government, “We’re not allowed to buy with donor money local product.” Chinery-Hesse says, “A lot of the donor agencies, when I see their country heads driving around the posh cars and living in the big houses, I see multiple colonial governors.”19 Aid is not only problematic because of what it fails to do-lower poverty levels-but also because of it who it benefits. Foreign aid workers will sometimes admit to luxurious tax-free salaries, greater material comforts than what they would have in their own country, and servants.20 NGOs receive billions of dollars from governments to invest in third-world projects: Since the 2010 earthquake in Haiti, over $3 billion has been given by USAID through contracts and grants, many of which exclude partnerships with local business and do not allow hiring of locals.21 In addition, aid is often used by affluent nations as a way of advancing a political agenda. For instance, aid was given to Ethiopia by the United States because the president, Meles Zenawi Asres, opposed Islamic fundamentalism; he was also one of the most oppressive dictators in Africa.22 While certainly aid is not always distributed properly or given for the right reasons, it is argued that without aid nothing would be done for the poor. Isn’t it better

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PERSPECTIVE FEATURE

CONT. FROM PAGE 5 to receive aid, flawed as it is, rather than nothing at all? If people are starving now, should we not feed them because the system is broken?

This argument makes a valid point.

What is problematic is the paternalistic mindset often underlying it, the belief that, ultimately, the poor are dependent on wealthy Westerners to bail them out.

Take Haiti for example. Why is it poor? In 1791, the country’s predominant slave population revolted against its French colonial masters. When Haiti declared itself a free nation, France was outraged at its losses and in 1825, threatened invasion.23 The floundering nation could not survive another war and agreed to France’s terms, meaning Haiti would pay France reparations for its freedom. Between 1825 and 1947, Haiti paid France the modern equivalent of $17 billion.24 If the United States had won the revolution and paid Great Britain an equivalent tribute, if the United States had been subject to a government as corrupt and unstable as Haiti’s, would the United States be the superpower it is today? Probably not.

Though most would not admit it-they may not even recognize it-there exists an assumption, that Haitians-and anyone else living below the poverty line-are poor because of their own doing, that somehow they or their families-not the political, economic, and social environment they were born into-are responsible for their plight.

This line of thinking makes it easy to say the poor are less intelligent and less capable than the wealthy. This is the problem with paternalism. Many of Haiti’s and other developing countries’ woes can be traced back to colonialism. Europeans believed the peoples they encountered were “lesser than” and in need of Western civilization.

What resulted were slavery, genocide, and a hierarchy which still remains between the developed and developing worlds. Though colonial actions and attitudes are now widely condemned, the “lesser than” attitude lives on through paternalism, making paternalism the new colonialism.

The current paternalistic system “situates the poor as the other, as objects of charity, rather than as the subjects, the active protagonists in their own story of development.”25 So even the best-intentioned visionaries and social entrepreneurs, people like Mycoskie, who are trying to tackle the problem of poverty from a new angle, rarely challenge the system itself. When they are effective, they are “making a harmful system more effectively harmful.”26 What people really need to climb out of poverty are several

key things: legal protection from theft and violence, justice in the courts, legal title to one’s land, freedom to start a business, and links to wider circles of exchange.27 Aid often inhibits governments from providing these basic rights.

So if paternalism and, by consequence, aid are not viable solutions for solving the problem of poverty, if the poor, having been provided those basic rights, really are capable of getting out of poverty, then what is the alternative? A successful model is partnership.

This may include investment in small business or holding literacy workshops; whatever form it takes, the idea behind partnership is exactly as it sounds: Partners-equals in the relationship-are working together for a common good. The party with assets or skill in a particular area seeks to invest those things in the partner, so the partner will be able to function autonomously.

In 2008, Corrigan and Shelley Clay moved to Haiti with their two children and $35,000 in savings.28 They intended to adopt

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Corrigan Clay describes the situation like this: “If I was in a personal financial crisis and I could not feed my child… and somebody from another nation came in and said, ‘We’ve got a solution. What we’ll do is set up a house where all the kids that have that problem can come live. They’re not going to be your child anymore. You’re just going to have to give them to us, but we’ll make sure they have everything they need.’”

Instead of starting an orphanage, the couple invested in an artisan business. Apparent Project now employs approximately 250 Haitians and hopes to raise that number to 1000.30 Every month, $35,000 is divided between the artisans-the total savings the family arrived with. They expected to start an orphanage, which would have been dependent on outside donations. Instead, their business is self-sustaining and provides work to parents, who are supporting their children and extended families, as many as 2000 people. No orphanage can support that many children. What Apparent Project does

Between 1825 and 1947, Haiti paid France the modern equivalent of $17 billion.

a child and start an orphanage. When they met the boy they were intending to adopt, they were asked if they would like to meet the child’s mother. This shocked the couple because they believed he was either an orphan or abandoned. The reality was that his mother loved and cared for him; she visited regularly to make sure he was all right. The only reason he was in an orphanage was because his mother couldn’t afford to take care of him, and the orphanage provided food, shelter, and free education. The couple was appalled that they were spending $20,000 to raise a child whose mother would have kept him if she had a job. They discovered that roughly 80 percent of children in Haitian orphanages are not true orphans, and 80 percent of the roughly 30,000 orphans adopted each year have at least one living parent.29

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is empower Haitians: Artisans take pride in their work, which has been sold in brandname stores like Disney and Gap, and without depending on anyone’s charity, they are able to buy homes, feed their children, and send them to school. These are the results of partnership.

Now up until this point, I have been writing this article with the assumption that all NGOs function in the same way, through distribution of aid. “Poverty, Inc.,” from which this article draws many of its arguments, essentially lumps them all together, which is useful for simplicity’s sake, but is not necessarily accurate. Many NGOs are moving towards a model that is more or less based upon partnership. Adventist Development and Relief Agency (ADRA) is one of them, though from personal experience,

I would say it still struggles to completely eradicate paternalism.

ADRA self describes itself as working “within communities in more than 130 countries to bring long-term development programs and immediate emergency relief through an active network of global offices.”31 Because ADRA operates out of so many countries, each of which has its own headquarters, it would be unfair to make claims about the organization as a whole based on its work in one country. Instead I will describe what I experienced working with ADRA Peru.

Over the summer, I lived at Camp Chuquicahuana, a center located near Cusco, Peru, and owned by ADRA as a basis of operations for local projects. The center is managed by a Peruvian and his wife; in fact, every ADRA worker I met was Peruvian.

That tends to be ADRA’s practice, hiring locals because they understand the culture, language, and are generally less obtrusive than a foreigner would be. This practice is laudable, especially as it creates local jobs and avoids awkward questions about modern colonialism.

However, despite the fact the center is managed by locals, it was built for foreigners.

Between June and September of 2016, there were five groups from Loma Linda, Florida Hospital, ADRA UK, Brazil, and Canada.

Two of these groups held medical campaigns, and the other three built ecostoves. The medical campaigns lasted less than two weeks and were held each day in a new location.

Only so many people could be seen each day, many were handed pills, and then the groups moved on. Yes, the people in that area desperately need medical attention, but the way the medical campaigns were held was hardly sustainable. With the limited time each patient had with doctors, I question how many people were really helped at all.32 The ecostove initiative is important for ensuring proper ventilation in homes, but the problem was that none of the groups building the stoves had any experience. Local overseers were hired to teach the volunteers when the overseers would have been better equipped to do the work themselves. Over the summer, 45 ecostoves were built in one village, leaving another 40 families still waiting for theirs. A group was scheduled to come in October and finish the job, but cancelled; the same thing happened again in December. The next group will not arrive until June, and those families are still waiting.

There were two things that especially bothered me: the way some volunteers treated the locals and the dependency of projects

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FEATURE PERSPECTIVE PEXELS

THE PLEASANT FALSEHOODS UNDERPINNING SHORT-TERM MISSION WORK

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s one who has traveled extensively, served for six months as a student missionary, joined multiple short-term mission trips, and is currently working on an Engineers Without Borders project in India, I will readily agree that some mission-related activities have merit. And I understand their attraction—some find it satisfying, enlightening and spiritually nourishing to believe that they are serving as the hands and feet of Jesus in a foreign country, sharing the blessed hope of Christ’s soon return and helping provide much-needed medical care or infrastructure to impoverished potential Adventists. And if that is what short-term mission trips were really accomplishing, one could potentially make an argument that such trips are an important part of the Christian experience and an absolute necessity for affluent Protestant Americans enjoying an unreasonable allocation of God’s blessings. However, this highly positive vision of short-term mission work so familiar to many from a conservative evangelical

average trip cost was about $1300, but of course that does not take into account the enormous opportunity cost of missed work at home.

Naturally, a high price tag does not mean that such trips are inherently unhelpful, but potential missionaries desiring to

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Dollar-for-dollar, putting a bunch of white-collar, highly-paid professionals on a plane to go build a church thousands of miles from their home makes absolutely no sense.”

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Michael Jensen Feature Editor

background contrasts with some of my past mission experiences and, to some extent, stems from nothing more than a pleasant falsehood born of self-deception.

Before continuing, I should mention that the rather negative arguments I am about to outline here should not be construed to apply to all forms of evangelism. As I mention later, there are forms of mission service and foreign aid that can be helpful when responsibly implemented; by no means have all of my mission-related experiences been damaging or unproductive.

With that said, in general, short-term mission work does not belong in the “productive” category for a variety of serious reasons.

First of all, short-term mission work is mind-bogglingly inefficient from a financial perspective. Dollar-for-dollar, putting a bunch of white-collar, highly-paid professionals on a plane to go build a church thousands of miles from their home makes absolutely no sense. In 2008, Dr. Robert Priest of Trinity Evangelical Divinity School estimated that collectively, 1.5 million mission-minded Americans spent about $2 billion on short-term (less than one year) mission trips.1 $2 billion is a lot of money, and 1.5 million is a lot of people. Dividing $2 billion by 1.5 million shows us that the

make the greatest positive impact in the world should consider how much further their resources might go if invested wisely in the local economies of their target countries (or, perhaps, in their home communities, which undoubtedly have significant troubles of their own). When a significant percentage

of a mission trip’s cost goes toward airfare effectively used to temporarily import a foreign workforce to do manual labor, it is difficult to justify the efficacy of such endeavors. This is especially true in light of the fact that many participants in construction-related trips have little to no experience with local construction techniques, or even any construction techniques at all!

Of course, mission trips are not supposed to be exclusively about the material goods and infrastructure that Western capital can provide—they are typically billed as being predominantly Christ-sharing in scope and intent.2 Unfortunately, short-term mission trips are not particularly effective at sharing the gospel either. Consider for a moment what evangelical skills the typical short-term missionary brings to the table: money, an American passport . . . and what else? Local, cultural or linguistic knowledge? Charismatic public speaking ability or any particularly useful experience doing anything that could not be handled by local workers? Usually not. There are exceptions, such as cases where doctors, engineers, lawyers or other

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CONT. FROM PAGE 7 professionals with specific, in-demand skills and connections volunteer their time and expertise to accomplish specialized objectives.

But I think it is safe to say that the average mission-trip-goer does not fall within this category.

So this begs the question, why are people poorly suited to accomplishing particular objectives flown—often at great expense—to some remote area to displace the local labor force and apply their time and talents toward executing a “mission” they are not trained to complete? One oft-dispensed answer hinges on the theory that although mission trips are not the most beneficial way of reaching out to foreign communities, they are worth the cost and dangers for the experience they provide to lukewarm American Christians.

Despite popular opinion to the contrary, however, short term mission trips can damage rather than edify the missionary.

Often, mission trip participants return home to talk about how exciting it was to see God’s power in action, or how it was so rewarding to share hope with the physically or spiritually destitute citizens of some foreign country. This in itself is a troubling take-home for missionaries, since it suggests an inherent gap between what God is willing to do in developing countries and what God does in developed countries.

Furthermore, it inculcates the notion that the average Westerner somehow has some spiritual gold to share above and beyond the simple or outdated religious

traditions of people from other countries.

Ponder the dangerous lessons taught to missionaries whose primary impetus to “go serve” stems (at an underlying and probably subconscious level) from a Western-savior-centric understanding of the world.

Organizing trips to random foreign countries with the unfounded assumption that

of the fact that people from whatever thirdworld country they visited are actually more spiritually, socially or even materially wealthy than they expected. And obviously, this latter outcome is worthwhile. But the premise that one must spend a significant sum, potentially inflicting damage to others and wasting precious time in the process,

al” pressure to participate in reckless and wasteful mission endeavors. But I entreat anyone considering participating in or financially supporting any kind of mission trip or similar project to ask the difficult questions about the motives, likely benefits and potential damage surrounding the project and be honest with themselves about the answers. If someone wants to go on a two-week outreach trip to Belize with their church friends, they absolutely have the right to do so. But doing it with the belief they are making the world a better place, spreading Jesus’ love, and fulfilling the Great Commission4 alongside their snorkeling expeditions is simply ignorant and irresponsible. As with most things in life, it is best to go into the mission experience with eyes wide open, recognizing that while it can be worthwhile under a limited set of circumstances, it usually is not.

PIXABAY.COM

they must need help with something which can be easily solved by American ingenuity paints the rest of the developing world in a totally unrealistic light and can imbue the missionary with a degree of nationalistic arrogance. With that said, it is true that short-term missionaries often do come home with an enlightened understanding

just to learn that other countries are rich and vibrant in their own ways is simply invalid! Almost any overseas trip with more productive objectives3 (or frankly, any time spent browsing a travel blog) would be sufficient to dispel many erroneous ideas regarding other countries.

There is often social or even “spiritu-

The Huffington Post, “Short-Term Mission Trips: Are They Worth It?” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dennis-jhorton-phd/shortterm-mission-trips-a_b_866197.html 2 For a more fully-developed discussion of the ways in which careless mission work can create unhealthy dependencies, please see Heather Ruiz’s “Voluntourism Does More Harm Than Good,” http://www.adventistreview. org/church-news/voluntourism-does-more-harm-than-good.

3 This could be its own article.

4 See Matthew 28:16-20.

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WORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES Here are some options for worship activities on campus this week

Huebach Morning Worship - Mon-Fri 7:30 a.m. (1 CREDIT) Huebach Worship - Tues 9 p.m. (2 CREDITS) Fireside Worship - Thurs 9:30 p.m. (1 CREDIT) Hispanic Ministries Worship - Mon 7:00 p.m. (1 CREDIT) Hall Worship - Wed 9:30 p.m. (1 CREDIT) Prayer Meetings - Wed 7 p.m. (1 CREDIT) Vespers - Fri 8 p.m. (2 CREDITS) ASWWU

ASWWU

IS BLOCK CONT. FROM PAGE 6 on foreigners. As an ADRA UK worker explained to me, a hierarchy exists in ADRA between donor and recipient nations. ADRA in wealthier nations raise money and to some extent, decide where it will go and how it will be used. If this practice is successful at ensuring money is not given to corrupt and dishonest individuals, then that is important, but it didn’t appear that money being routed to Camp Chuquicahuana was really being given to benefit locals. Donor nations paid for the construction of the camp, and now they send volunteer groups on “field trips.”

Wouldn’t the money fundraised by volunteers to come to Peru and build the ecostoves be better used to hire local workers who would do a better job anyway? Wouldn’t a permanent health center be far more effective than short-term medical campaigns? I saw unused, run-down ADRA community centers in several villages. What were they intended for, and why is no one using them?

During the year, when there are no groups at Chuquicahuana, the only ADRA workers on site are the center’s manager and his wife, whose full-time jobs are to keep the center running for when groups do come. Months go by with no projects.

To be fair, ADRA employees told me they learned a lot from foreigners. There is an exchange of knowledge and ideas they believe to be invaluable, something they would not have only working with Peruvians. But I also saw frustration when volunteers made racist comments, unfairly distributed toys to children, and complained long and loud when the hot water in the showers wasn’t working (when none of the locals actually have showers). Paternalism was evident-not among everyone, but among enough that it was damaging.

I do not want to undermine the good work ADRA Peru has done. The things I saw were specific to one area in which they work and may be different elsewhere. ADRA has initiated many models of partnership around the globe that are effective and do work. I also do not want this article to put down those who, without selfish interest, have worked within the system, those who genuinely want others’ lives to improve.

It should be acknowledged, however, that here are major obstacles to eradicating paternalism. Those who benefit from the system, those who get rich from government contracts, don’t want it to change, and there will always be organizations and individuals who would rather receive free handouts than be independent.

But why does our society donate so much in the first place? On some level,

FEATURE PERSPECTIVE because it makes us feel good. It has been argued that we give because of the guilt we feel towards the poor.33 If this is true, then guilt serves a purpose insofar as it reminds us of our humanity shes us to strive for equality; it becomes a problem if we give only to relieve that guilt and not because we care about the outcome.

How should this affect us? People still suffer, and their immediate needs are still important. What do we do with our good intentions?

The first step is awareness. There must be awareness that the system is broken, that aid does not stop poverty, and that giving can be harmful. Stories like the Haitian rice

of creating long-term problems? Is it better to support the creation of an orphanage or invest in local business?

The solution is not always clear, and if it is too simple then perhaps our understanding of the problem is also simple. Critical thinking is extremely important. If you give, consider what kind of project you are investing in, what the long-term implications are, and who will actually be benefiting. Avoid organizations that do not work towards sustainable change and speak out against the corruption you see. Perhaps just as important, we must evaluate our intentions. Somewhere, in our subconscious, do we believe by giving we can “save” someone from poverty? Do we believe ourselves superior to the poor? These assumptions are the backbone of paternalism, what allows the system to function as it does.

In order for partnership to become the new model and succeed, paternalism must die.

https://www.pri.org/stories/2012-04-12/haitian-farmerscall-us-stop-subsidizing-its-own Ibid 3 http://foreignpolicy.com/2013/01/11/subsidizing-starvation/ 4 Poverty, Inc. 5 https://www.democracynow.org/2016/10/11/bill_clinton_s_trade_policies_destroyed 6 http://www.worldbank.org/en/country/haiti/overview 7 Non-profit organizations that provide various services and humanitarian functions 8 http://nacla.org/news/ngos-and-business-poverty-haiti 9 Ibid 10 Ibid 11 http://www.dictionary.com/browse/paternalism 12 http://www.humanosphere.org/social-business/2014/09/ toms-shoes-harm-local-shoe-sellers/ 13 Poverty, Inc. 14 https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/ wp/2015/10/13/why-trying-to-help-poor-countries-mightactually-hurt-them/?utm_term=.2baa67201fb9 15 Ibid 16 Ibid 17 https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2012/aug/26/ new-africa-ghana-software-chinery-hesse 18 Poverty, Inc. 19 Ibid 20 Ibid 21 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/young-professionals-in-foreign-policy/haitis-multi-billion-doll_b_8207494. html 22 https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/ wp/2015/10/13/why-trying-to-help-poor-countries-mightactually-hurt-them/?utm_term=.f77329de76b9 23 https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/ wp/2015/05/13/does-france-owe-haiti-reparations/?utm_ term=.5fe37df64754 24 Ibid 25 Poverty, Inc. 26 Ibid 27 Ibid 28 Ibid 29 Ibid 30 Ibid 31 https://adra.org/ 32 http://www.mmex.org/Articles/Short-termMedicalMissionbyLauraMontgomery.pdf 33 http://www.washington.edu/omad/ctcenter/projects-common-book/mountains-beyond-mountains/moral-obligation/ 34 https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/13/world/africa/africa-donald-trump.html 35 http://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2016/05/05/476876371/u-s-to-ship-peanuts-to-feedhaitian-kids-aid-groups-say-this-is-wrong 1 2

ADRA.ORG

I hope no one misinterprets what I said to mean that giving is wrong and that we should simply stop. If the U.S. government suddenly cut off the flow of aid, which the new Trump administration may do in certain parts of the world,34 millions of people would suffer and perhaps die because they have become so dependent on this aid that they would be unable to function without it. Once individuals are empowered and able to meet their own needs-a goal partnership strives to achieve-aid is no longer needed. That should be the goal, not to suddenly stop aid but to make it obsolete.

crisis are not relics of the past when we didn’t know better; in 2016, the U.S. Department of Agriculture dumped 500 metric tons of excess peanuts into Haiti where there is already a local thriving peanut industry.35 In order for good intentions to create significant, sustainable change, we need to ask ourselves hard, uncomfortable, questions. If you are considering becoming a student missionary, how will your work be received? Will you be sharing valuable skills or will locals see you as another face of colonialism? Do Christmas shoeboxes, TOMS’ shoes, and clothing donations alleviate short-term needs at the cost

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PERSPECTIVE DEVOTIONAL

40-Day Challenge Christina Moran Devotional Writer

L

ast Friday night during vespers, Paddy McCoy, the current chaplain at WWU, dared WWU to take up a 40-day challenge—to give up that which would hinder our ever-growing relationship with Jesus. I thought I would skip out on this challenge. But after vespers, I spotted the stack of 40-day challenge stickers.

The design was spot on. I grabbed a sticker. Later that night, when my friend and I were chatting, I took the sticker and stuck it onto my violin case. It looked pretty neat.

“Dude, this looks pretty cool!”

“Yeah, it does. So what’s your 40-day challenge going to be?” My friend was right.

I couldn’t just put that sticker and not follow up with the 40-day challenge.

I thought about it. I was always wary of the lasting effects of these challenges.

Many of my friends have completed these 40-day challenges and after the period of fasting, they returned to whatever they chose to give up. They would become even more engrossed in whatever they chose to give up. I did not want to fall into this trap. I decided to brush away the idea of taking up the challenge, but God reminded me of a story.

An evil spirit was cast out of a man.

So the demon tried to find a place to stay, but to no avail. When the evil spirit decided to check up on the man it had left, the evil spirit found saw that the man’s house was “swept clean and put in order.”1 The demon brings along “seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and

they go in and live there [and] the final condition of that person is worse than the first.”2 Kicking out the evil spirit in the man’s life was a good thing. However, after the evil spirit left, the man failed to fill his house with things that were good, pure, lovely. 3 Yes, his house was clean and organized, but it was empty. Eight evil spirits were able to move back into the poor man’s life and the man’s condition was worsened. Ellen G. White says, “It is not only by resistance but by neglect that the soul is destroyed.”4 The Bible does not say that we are to overcome evil with nothing, but we are to “overcome evil with good.” 5 If you decide to give up watching “Stranger Things” for your 40-day challenge, what are you going to do in the three hours you usually watch your

show? The goal of the 40-day challenge is to bring us closer to God, yes? It would make sense to use the time you usually watch “Stranger Things”, to make a date with God. We are to “resist the devil” and “overcome evil with good.” 6,7 I have taken up the challenge to give up social media for 40 days and take on spending more time in the morning with God and spending more time doing things I am supposed to do, like studying and working. When the devil tries to see if there’s space in my house, I’ll just be too full with God for the bad to move back in.

Luke 11:25 NIV. Luke 11:26 NIV. Philippians 4:8 NIV. 4 White, E. G. (1898). The Desire of Ages. Mountain View, CA: Pacific Press Publishing Association.

5 Romans 12:21 NIV. 6 James 4:7 NIV. 7 Romans 12:21 NIV. 1 2 3

Re: We’re More Equal Kaitlyn Johnston Contributing Writer

Than You Think Kaitlyn Johnston Contributing Writer

I

am a feminist. I believe that women and men are equal and deserve equal rights. I do not hate men and the feminist movement does not ask me to. Feminism, by definition, advocates gender equality.

This movement for equality combats unfair treatment of humans. In addition to rape culture and sexualization without consent, feminism combats unequal pay, underrepresentation, ableism, and other forms of discrimination.

The argument that feminism—a movement that fights for gender equality—is not needed because women and men are already equally raped 1 and equally objectified misses the point. It suggests that we ought to be satisfied by equal mistreatment. But that’s not the brand of equality we’re after. We work towards the fair treatment of individual women and

men and toward the elimination of sexism on an institutional level. We advocate equal opportunity, safety, and education— good things.

Feminism does not protest our differences. It does, however, protest oppression based on differences of gender, sexuality, race, ability, age, socioeconomic status, and religious affiliation.2 This movement does not ask for the elimination of individuality or gender identity.

It does not ask you to stop recognizing people as male or female or non-binary. It says that you have the right to be treated well and fairly, regardless of whether you identify as male or female or non-binary.

As a feminist, I believe that people— including myself, a woman—should have the right to control their own bodies.

It is not self-destructive to believe it’s my decision whether I get a pap smear, have my teeth pulled, or have consensual sex. Should I choose to neglect my health or to engage in activities that are detrimental to my well-being, that would be self-destructive. But the movement I subscribe to doesn’t ask me to do either of those things.

Feminism tells me that I should have access to information and care that will support my health and well-being.

Feminism wants me to be aware of the consequences and benefits of my actions so that I can make informed decisions.

And while we, as individuals, may not make the same choices or want the same lives, we, as feminists, believe that every individual should have the opportunity to make those choices.

I publicly identify as a feminist.

I’ve received negative reactions to this identification. They come from those who misunderstand feminism as a hatred of men or those who have experience with feminists who are also rude people. To this I say that I know rude Seventh-day Adventists, rude STEM majors, and rude cat owners, but correlation does not equal causation, so why hold it against Adventism, STEM studies, or cat ownership as a whole? Why hold your experience with a rude feminist against the movement as a whole?

The beauty of feminism is that it fights for every human to have the right and opportunity to choose their own path

without judgment. Feminism says that any human can be a stay-at-home parent, any human can be an astronaut, and any human can be a kindergarten teacher.

You can have seven kids and no cats or you can have no kids and still no cats.

You can have a husband or a wife or you can be single. You can major in math or English or political science. You can go to trade school. You can get a Dalmatian and name it Spot. Feminism says that regardless of what path you choose, you can be fulfilled and happy. And while I would never name a Dalmatian Spot, I—a feminist—will be happy for you.

1 This is a false claim. The National Sexual Violence Resource Center reports that 91% of rape victims are female, 9% are male. They also report that one in five women and one in 16 men will be sexually assaulted while in college. (http://www.nsvrc.org/swites/default/ f iles/publications_nsvrc_factsheet_media-packet_statistics-about-sexual-violence_0.pdf ) 2 This is not a comprehensive list.

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FASHION/ACA PERSPECTIVE

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STUDENT STYLE ACA Perspectives KATE HEINRICH

Stephanie Septembre ACA/SM Writer

T

he following interview was conducted with Kate Heinrich, a senior history major who spent the past summer at Seminar Schloss Bogenhofen in Austria.

What inspired you to go to Austria?

I had always wanted to go to Austria. I had always wanted to go to Germany. My family is very German. It’s part of my heritage, and I had just thought it would be very fun to learn German.

I really wanted to go and experience the culture and [get] an idea of who are the people, what are they like, what do they believe, how is it different from America.

Why did you choose the summer program over a year-long program?

I will be totally honest. I wish had gone for a year. The summer program is great, but I would highly, highly recommend to anyone who was thinking of studying abroad to just go for the year. That is something, as I’m graduating, I really regret not doing.

I decided to do the summer program—it was kind of a spontaneous thing. I had decided to go about a month before it started. It was because I had wanted to go so badly, but I had just never had it fit. I needed to get through school in four years, but I always had something.

I always had summer school I needed to take or an internship so I could just never make it fit. So that’s what kept me from going for a year. I highly recommend that if you can make it fit, even if you’re not sure if you can make it fit, just go.

What was the most challenging part? The most rewarding?

I think it was kind of one and the same. The most challenging part was only being there for six weeks and having four hours of class per day and being completely flooded in German and not being able to communicate at first.

Because I didn’t realize how just be able to talk to someone and having them being able to understand what you’re feeling—I’ve never

really realized how special that is until I went.

And then, towards the end, I actually started being able to understand and being able to communicate with everyone. That was very rewarding, actually being able to be understood and have someone know how I’m feeling. It was frustrating at first, but it was really exciting.

When you came back, did you feel you had learned as much of the language as you’d hoped?

I definitely had known the language. One thing that was a little sad when I came back was that over there in Germany they speak like four or five languages, and I come back and everybody speaks English and nobody speaks German that I know of. So it was hard for me to practice and keep that up, which was kind of a bummer. Rosetta Stone is great, but it’s nothing compared to actually speaking.

I definitely learned what I had expected, but coming back it was a little challenging.

What are the best parts of the Austria program and maybe some points for improvement?

Some points that were awesome were that you get so close to the people you go to school with because you’re all struggling together.

The teachers were great, and I really, really appreciated that. One point for improvement, one thing I would have really liked, would have been for the textbooks that we used in class. Everything was in German—directions, everything was in German, and I didn’t know anything, obviously. I wish the directions would have been in English. It just would have made it a little bit easier, but other than that, honestly it was an excellent program.

Besides going for the year, what would you say to anyone considering studying with ACA? If you actually don’t want to go, if you have reasons you don’t want to study abroad, then don’t do it. But even if you’re thinking, “Oh, maybe that’d be kind of cool, but I’m not sure I can go because of this and this and this,” that’s not a good enough reason. You need to go. I would highly recommend to anyone: just do it. It’s well worth it.

Angelica Chan Fashion Writer Welcome to Student Style, where we explore Walla Walla students’ unique style and fashion choices. Today, we have Emily Huso, a senior English major. I asked to interview Emily because she looks put-together in so many looks, and her outfits appear very cohesive. I think she has really nailed down her style, and pulls it off well.

What do you do for fun—do you have any unique hobbies or interests?

Reading, hiking, being with friends and family.

Who or what inspires your style?

Estée Lalonde.

How would you describe your sense of style?

I try to keep a clean, classic look. I try to follow trends sometimes, but I have a few basic pieces I like to wear.

What are your favorite trends right now?

I love the athleisure trend because it means I can wear yoga pants with pride. All joking aside, I do hope to add a pair of white trainers to my wardrobe soon. Sporty, chic, comfy—it doesn’t get much better than that!

If you could raid anyone’s closet, who would it be and why?

I would raid Keira Knightley’s closet because I love her elegant, chic street style. Also, we’re both 5’7’’, so her clothes might actually fit me.

Where are the items in your outfit from?

The shoes are BCBGMAX, the leggings are American Eagle, the top is from Papaya, the cardigan is from Forever 21, and the coat is from Calvin Klein.

Why did you choose this particular outfit?

I wanted to do something warm because it’s cold out. I wouldn’t normally wear heels in the snow, but it’s not too icy, so it’s okay. I like leggings because they give you nice clean lines. I like the color combination of black and cream.

EMILY HUSO

Where do you like to shop?

I shop a lot at Forever 21 and American Eagle.

What fashion advice would you give to other students looking to improve their style?

Something I did was invest in basic pieces that you can combine in different ways, like solid colors.

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LIFE RELIGION/CREATIVE WRITING

PRIME TIME vixie bailey Religion Writer

C

hristians have this preconceived idea that devotions should take place in the morning. I have struggled with having a decent devotional life for most of my walk with God. Early mornings just don’t work for me. I wake up, I start praying, and I can go for a couple minutes before—boom—the z’s start rolling (zzz zzz). I wake up an hour later, my devotional time gone and in the rush of the century because I’m late to class.

On the other hand, if I try to do devotions in the evening, my brain is so awake that I can’t focus; I’m a million places at once.

“Did that cute guy actually check me out?

What was up with that pop quiz? I wonder how my grandpa is? Does putting a cherry on top of your whipped cream in fact make it taste better, or is that just a marketing scheme? I should totally wear my blue dress tomorrow…” You get the picture. At night I have the attention span of a flea. “A caffeinated flea break dancing to… Dang it Vixie! Write the article!”

And so comes the dilemma: When is the best time to have devotions? My answer? Your prime time. In the same way that the best time1 on TV is given to the most popular shows, you should give the time of your day that is most productive, most important to God. For me, it’s in the mid-morning. I have been up long enough to focus, but not so long that I have become overwhelmed by the business of the day.

Think of God as your S.O.2 When you are attached to someone, you don’t say, “Oh hey! So I know that you want to hang out so I’ll tell you what, I have two minutes I can squeeze in between biology and choir in which I can ask you to do a bunch of stuff for me.” You prioritize. Prime example: My roommate got a boyfriend. Not that I was shocked; she’s too beautiful to be single.

But what does this mean for me? Less time with her. We used to study together in our room, but now she goes on “study dates” and spends her time with him.3 But this is prioritizing and is to be expected.4 It’s part of our relationships with other humans, and it should be part of our relationship with God. So where is God on your priority list?

Does He get a good amount of time or does

He get the scraps? Think about it: What is your best time, and have you given that to God, or are you holding out? Like the old hymn says, “Give of your best to the Master / Give Him first place in your heart.”5 Give Jesus your prime time, and He will help you with everything else.

“Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near.”6 Also known as the time you are supposed to be doing homework…

Significant Other, but we knew that.

3 I’m glaring at you, Ben. 4 It’s ok because I bring her pickles and salted dark chocolate, things that you will never fully understand, Ben. 5 “Give of Your Best to the Master” by Howard B. Grose.

6 Isaiah 55:6, NIV 1 2

UNBLOCK CREATIVITY mac ford Creative Writing Editor

H

ere are five things to do when you’re feeling uninspired:

1. Make food.

Try a new recipe or stick with one that’s familiar—whatever excites you the most. Food is an art form and following a recipe can be the perfect exercise in guided creativity. My favorite thing to make is four-ingredient, no-knead artisan bread, because it is the easiest and most rewarding recipe ever. You can find it on the blog “Simply So Good” at http:// bit.ly/1dGHNAr. (Side note: Why is breadmaking so deeply satisfying?)

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2. Play music.

Whether that means finding the perfect playlist to listen to or making your own music, this exercise can help you access a different side of your creativity. For listening, I like indie folk pop artists like Gregory Alan Isakov, Girlyboi, and Ray LaMontagne. Also, the practice rooms in the FAC are perfect for a quiet space to play piano (or any other instrument).

4. Journal.

No pressure, just write. It doesn’t have to be grammatically correct or full of perfect, beautiful metaphors or make sense to anyone but you. So often at school we only write for other people to see it—journaling can be refreshing because it takes the exact opposite motivation. Take time to write for yourself.

5. Read someone who always gets you inspired.

I don’t know why, but when I feel the slump hit, I tend to avoid my favorite authors guiltily, as if they’re gods I haven’t prayed to in a while. But I find it’s a lot easier to get inspired again when you’re reading something you wish you’d written.

Skip the shame and re-read the people who made you want to start writing in the first place.

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3. Don’t watch TV. Don’t do it. Trust me.

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HUMOR/COLUMN LIFE

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NEW HOLIDAYS: BY DECREE OF ME joni harris Column Writer

I

often wonder how we have so many obscure national holidays. One I am particularly confused about is Groundhog Day. How is making an assumption about the weather a holiday? Since holidays seem pretty easy to create, here are some I suggest we implement:

1. Polar Bear Day On Polar Bear Day we will go into the arctic and see if there are any polar bears. If we see any, then we will know global warming isn’t real. If we see no polar bears, global warming will finally be a real and present danger and we will declare a state of emergency. There will probably also be fireworks on this day.

2. Bee Day On Bee Day we will gather with our families to eat honey. When there is no more honey we will know that all the bees have died.

People will then be sad that the bees have gone extinct because they will no longer get Bee Day off of work.

3. National Day of Patriotic Devotion This will occur on January 20, though I’m not really sure how it will be celebrated. Tears?1 4. National Voting Day National Voting Day occurs on the second Tuesday of November every two years. People already know about this day but I propose the radical idea that people get this day off work.

With this holiday in place more people will be able to vote. Had this been a holiday in 2016, the increased voting would likely have lead to president Trump losing by even more than 3 million votes. On second thought, that would have embarrassed Trump so much that he would have to tweet even more ridiculous things than he already does.2 I don’t know if I’d want to experience that.

Thank you for taking these under consideration, and happy Today Day! I didn’t come up with this holiday, president T!@$p did.

Blatant lies.

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IT’S A MATCH! W

e are reviving a Collegian tradition that hasn’t been done in a few years. It has been labeled by a variety of names such as “Singled Out” but the idea remains the same. We would like to match some single people up and give them money to go on a date. If you would be interested in being a part of our experiment, make sure to change your online Mask relationship status to the following words: “Will Date For Coffee.” This will be the primary relationship status generator we will use. If you aren’t ready to date, you have been forewarned. Be sure to change your status or else you might be offered a free date with a person of our choice. We assure that we use the highest standards of matchmaking and we look forward to surprising a special couple next week. Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor.

I’M TIRED OF WINNING Micah hall Humor Writer

O

n the campaign trail, Donald Trump1 said that, when he became president, we would win so much we would get tired of winning.

He was right. While Trump has already lost one court case since he became president,2 he has convinced me that I am tired of all the winning.

Every week I go to write my article and all of my ideas are overshadowed by new Trump news. Just this Sunday morning, news broke that Trump might be afraid of stairs. It is very difficult for me to write an article that appeals to everyone when our current president keeps doing things that are so easy to mock.

For that reason, I have decided to make this article a list of ways to stop hearing about Donald Trump.3

1. Stop reading the news.

Almost every news article is about Donald Trump. Even the articles that aren’t about Trump are covered in links to different articles that are about Trump. I just read an article called “Hawks Outlast Short-Handed Knicks in Four OTs” on USA Today4 and even that article had three links to articles about Trump. It is officially impossible to read the news without learning about Trump.

2. Stop watching TV. Anti-Trump ads are already sliding onto our TV screens. These advertisements can easily ruin a TV viewing experience.

Netflix is still okay, but beware of shows made after 2016. Michael Bay is already working on a film about a post-Trump dystopian future. Other TV shows and movies are sure to include similar Trumprelated themes.

3. Never go on social media.

Social media is all about Trump right now. There is nothing on social media that hasn’t been tainted by Trump. I just checked my Facebook and seven of the first ten posts were about Trump. This is unacceptable.

4. Disown your family.

If your family is anything like mine, they love talking politics. There is a quick fix to this. Disown your family and they cannot talk to you about Trump.

5. Move.

You need to move immediately. This way your family doesn’t know where you are and cannot talk to you about Trump. Tell no one where you are going. Get a new email and phone number. Make a new life.

6. Do not make any new friends.

New friends will want to talk to you about Trump. It is best to just work remotely for an apolitical service and never speak to anyone.

7. Finally be happy.

This plan, if done correctly, will keep you happy and healthy for the next four years. In four years, check to see if Trump is still president. If he is, you can continue your solitary life. If he is no longer the president, you can call your family and tell them you love them, tell them you want to be together again, and walk hand-in-hand into the sunset.5

Trump is best known for being the President of the United States and for appearing as himself in the film “Playboy Video Centerfold” from 2000.

2 As he predicted, that was a win for U.S. citizens.

3 Since Trump has the lowest ever approval ratings for an incoming president, I believe this article should have mass appeal.

4 http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nba/2017/01/29/ millsap-hawks-outlast-anthony-knicks-142-139-in-4ots/97224754/ 5 This is assuming we can still see the sun in four years.

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LIFE SCIENCE/#THECOLLEGIAN/COLLEGIAN WISDOM

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A NARROW LOOK COLLEGIAN AT NANOTECHNOLOGY APPLICATIONS victor wang WISDOM Contributing Writer S Judge sanctions lawyer for splashing opposing counsel with iced coffee.

Courtroom dripping with a latte drama.

Dutch scientists experiment with ‘Tinder for Orangutans.’

Swipe right for bananas.

Nebraska flag flown upside down at Capitol for 40 days and no one noticed. *Insert corny joke here*

Trump calls the Australian Prime Minister, insults him, and hangs up after 25 minutes.

Had to get back to tweeting.

tarting as a concept in Dr. Richard Feynman’s famous lecture titled “There’s Plenty of Room at the Bottom,” nanotechnology has evolved and become an exciting field throughout the past two decades. In his lecture, Dr. Feynman envisioned the technology to create dense computer circuits, nanomachines to conduct chemical synthesis, and more powerful microscopy.1 Since Dr. Feynman’s lecture, nanotechnology has expanded to be a wide field corresponding to diverse applications.

As an electrical engineering student, I am particularly excited about applications in energy and the Internet of Things (IoT).

The IoT describes a connected network of embedded sensors in the form of “smart” objects in our daily lives. Eventually, the IoT may include smart refrigerators in homes, flexible biometric sensors in clothing, and implantable sensors in the human body.

However, two major factors are impeding progress in the IoT: power and interface.

As the IoT expands and the number of sensors increases, delivering the necessary power to devices becomes a challenge: It would be incredibly tedious and impractical to replace batteries in thousands of sensors in your home periodically. Furthermore, interfacing sensors to our physical world

is also a challenge: Living with rigid and large electronic devices embedded in our day-to-day living may not be comfortable or appealing to use. With tools enabled by nanotechnology, research groups around the world have been investigating different possible solutions to these problems.

Among the different approaches to solving the power issue, energy scavenging and low powered nanoelectronics have been the most exciting to me. In designing low-powered nanoelectronics, researchers are reducing the power requirements of nanoscale devices enough to make energy scavenging a viable power source. In the frontier of energy scavenging, there are researchers investigating thermoelectric effects using novel nanomaterials in hopes of harvesting body heat for power.2 Others are designing nano piezotronic systems to produce electrical potential with changes of pressure.3 In addition to these, there are many other projects in different research groups investigating energy scavenging from different sources ranging from human motion to radio frequency signals.4 Much like the power issue, the integration difficulty has also been a widespread research topic in lab groups. A general direction of research has been aimed towards flexible and conformal electronics.

Most devices today are rigid and difficult to embed onto a variety of surfaces. However, research groups are developing functioning

flexible electronic devices that could be implanted onto many previously inaccessible surfaces. Efforts in flexible and conformal electronics enabled an intimate interaction between electronics and their users that have powerful healthcare applications. For example, Northwestern University's Dr. John Rogers worked on designing "tissuelike electronics for high resolution mapping of electrophysiology in the heart and the brain.”5 As electronics gain flexibility and conformability, the IoT may see powerful biomedical applications in diagnostics and preventative care.

Learning more about nanotechnology and some of its applications in my field has made me especially grateful to be alive in this time. In the past few decades, scientists have been discovering fundamental knowledge and developing useful tools in nanotechnology. Consequently, revolutionary applications have been surfacing frequently and will continue to increase. I am convinced that we live in an exciting and unique time, and that we will see ground-breaking advances in technology with the potential to change the world. https://www.pa.msu.edu/~yang/RFeynman_plentySpace. pdf http://poplab.stanford.edu 3 http://www.nanoscience.gatech.edu 4 http://vhosts.eecs.umich.edu/najafi//research.php 5 http://rogers.matse.illinois.edu 1 2

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State attorney says Flint water is safe, just don’t drink it.

Don’t see how this could lead to any problems.

@VITALIYKRIVORUK

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FOOD LIFE

CONSERVING RESOURCES

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PEXELS

ONE PLATE AT A TIME Mason Neil Food Writer

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spend a lot of time thinking about the amount of resources my lifestyle consumes. I drive a car with rather terrible fuel economy at least four times a day. I’m in an Alden Thompson class so I use about a ream of paper every other week in handouts alone. I heat an entire house for just my dog and me to be comfortable. Sometimes, when I’m feeling particularly bourgeois, I’ll even run a load of laundry to clean just four or five clothing items. When these thoughts begin to plague me and I start to feel like the sole cause of climate change, I like to remember what a great environmentalist I am by eating less meat.

In recent years, several studies have been published revealing that not eating red meat saves more resources than completely giving up motorized transportation.1 If you’re from California, you’ve probably thought a lot about the amount of time you spend in the shower. Taking shorter showers is one of environmentalists’ favorite things

MASON NEIL

MASON NEIL

to talk about. Some are so absurd as to even suggest turning the shower off while you shampoo your hair. (With all due respect, ain’t nobody got time for that.) This is where the amazing gospel of reducing the amount of meat you eat comes in handy. If you were to give up eating six beef burgers, you would be saving just as much water as you would if you gave up showers for an entire year.2 Now you can sing through an entire Beyoncé album while taking a shower and not worry one bit about how much water you’re using. ***FLAWLESS Eating is something that most of us do three times a day. If you intentionally pick foods that use less water per calorie at each meal, you can easily start saving thousands

of gallons of water each day. It really begins to sound too good to be true the more you think about it.

Next time you’re feeling bad about how much you’re consuming, I suggest giving Fine-ly Made a try. Located on Spokane Street in downtown Walla Walla, Fine-ly Made offers a wide variety of vegan and gluten free foods. In addition to their selection of bakery items, they serve vegan sandwiches, salads, burgers, and pizzas. The bakery is owned and operated by Maria King, whose daughter, Beth, attends Walla Walla University.

This past week I had their seasonal Sweet Tater toasted sandwich, loaded with sweet potatoes, spinach, cranberries, walnuts,

and a spicy citrus dressing. I’m usually not the biggest fan of gluten free bread as it tends to feel much more like a brick than anything else. However, the bread was perfectly toasted and still had the light, spongy feel that I would expect from a regular loaf.

I know many of us have memories of terrible vegan and gluten free food, but I’d encourage you to leave your expectations at the door. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how delicious conservation can taste. http://www.pnas.org/content/111/33/11996 Look at the chart and do the math for yourself. http:// www2.worldwater.org/data20082009/Table19.pdf

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KANYE WEST CONTEXT

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Kids* these days

*AM I OLD ENOUGH TO CALL TEENAGERS “KIDS”? lauren wahlen Backpage Writer

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know I’m not the coolest cucumber out there,1 but I have improved quite a bit since high school. Don’t think I could have been any more of a hot mess than I am right now? Well strap on your seatbelts because my teen years were a wreck. Disclaimer: Don’t bother trying to use the following against me, because I already know I sucked. I’ve come to terms with it. Alright, here we go: I HAD A ROLLING BACKPACK 2 IN HIGH SCHOOL. I know, it was bad. And yet, I still managed to make it that much worse by always sprinting to class a few minutes late, so everyone knew when I was coming, thanks to the bu-bup-bu-bup of those janky wheels hitting the cracks in the cement.

No slipping into class late for me. The whole backpack fiasco aside, I also refused to wear any footwear besides Crocs, because I (along with every middle-aged backyard BBQ father) was just convinced that they were the bomb.3 Oh, and I also used that awful “Go Blonder” drugstore lightening spray, which made my hair look/feel like yellow straw, no joke. Like, I could have literally glued straw to my head and no one would have noticed. See? The Most Improved Player award belongs to me now,4 so stay. in. your. lane.

Now that you know what my high school aesthetic used to be, you can probs understand why working during Friendship Tournament5 is so difficult for me. How are all these teenagers so put together now, with their perfect outfits and cool phones? What is their secret?

How did manage to skip the awkward stage of life that I most definitely went through? I just wanted to yell “How are you so cool?” in response to all the high schoolers that asked where the drinking fountain was, or what a Yogi Burger is. But I refrained like the mature adult that I am sometimes, so I guess I’ll never understand how they’re just so much cooler than I was at their age. I’ll write down the major differences I noticed, just in case you also happened to feel uncomfortable and/or intimidated by their put-together-ness.

1. Taste in food: so many teenagers this tournament asked me for gluten-free bread, or vegan cheese, or kale. It was kinda a downer

working at the DX, where I had to crush their healthy/gourmet eating dreams time and time again. When I was in high school, the only thing my friends and I wanted to eat was Taco Bell. But you know what? I’m better for it. Or at least a little more prepared for college life in Walla Walla.

2. Style: Man, this one is a sore spot for me. I wore my sister’s hand-me-downs until sophomore year, when she moved out and I had to figure out what style was. Well, I still haven’t, but that’s beside the point. These teens are just too classy and put together. I don’t get it. How? I was glad I could hide behind the bright orange Enrollment t-shirt I had to wear, so no one could judge me too hardcore.

3. Confidence: Once again, maybe this was just me, but I hella avoided eye-contact and confrontation all throughout my teen years.

But not these high schoolers. I had to tell them not to enter a certain door, and some of them were just like, “Nope, I’ll just keep walking past you.” I didn’t know what to do but cry a little and pretend I had allergies.

4. Sleep: I was recording the Friendship Tournament surveys, and almost everyone complained about the curfew being so early, at 11 p.m. That’s late, you fools. When I was a teen I was wild and rebellious6 until I got tired and went to bed at like, idk, 9 p.m. Sleep is great. It’s the one Adventist-approved activity that helps you forget all your probs.

Case in point: I say things like “coolest cucumber.”

2 It was a hand-me-down from my sister. Blame her.

3 Speaking of bombs, I’m selling $4 bath bombs so I can buy a plane ticket to my friend’s wedding. Hmu if you’re interested...and please don’t hate me for shamelessly advertising on the backpage. I just don’t know how else I’m supposed to ~get the word out~, you know? Unless you’re cool with me spamming your social media. Ya. Didn’t think so.

4 Started from the bottom, now I’m just a lil’ smidge above the bottom.

5 For those of you who don’t know what Friendship Tournament is, it’s a series of competitions the university hosts to see who’s the best at making friends.

JK. It’s a high school basketball tournament WWU hosts, which means our campus basically turns into the Walking Dead, just with hoards of teens instead of zombies.

6 At least that’s what my mom called me when I forgot to do my chores or something lame.

TWO TRUTHS

& A LIE

Last week’s lie: “The tennis courts used to be where the University Church is now.”

Listen up, mah peeps: free Atlas drink for the first student to email me and let me know which of the three facts listed below is actually...a lie. That’s right, I can lie. Truth be told, I usually sweat profusely and avoid eye-contact while fudging the truth, but knowing my tells won’t help ya now, cuz you’re not watching me as I’m typing this. At least I hope you’re not right outside my window at 1:09 a.m. That would be supes disturbing.

Meske used to be an all-girl’s dorm, until the college decided that the campus might look more appealing to prospective students if it offered a dorm that appeared to be co-ed.

Smith Hall was supposed to be twice its size, but the college had to make it smaller because an old lady lived where the parking lot is now, and she refused to sell her house.

ASWWU storage, aka “Apple Storage”, is actually a very old, decommissioned, walkin refrigerator, and it has a door that leads to a secret room under the cafeteria.

VERBATIM

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“If you’re faced with two temptations, pick the one you’ve never done before.”

—Professor Melodie Selby “I want to be naked with you.”

—Professor Emmerson, describing the Hebrew translation of ‘naked’ as being honest and open “What percent alcohol are jello shots?”

—Professor Monty Buell, talking about the prohibition.

Keep the quotes coming, por favor! If you hear a faculty or staff member say something hilarious, amazing, or just super dumb, email me at lauren.wahlen@walla walla.edu.

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