Issue 22

Ne w s p a p e r o f Wa l l a Wa l l a U n i v e r s i t y

Collegian The

Volume 102 | Issue 22

I Loaf the Loaf pg. 6

“Daniella, you’re Canadian.”

- Anna-Marie Vargas, ASWWU Marketing VP

April 26, 2018

E d i t o r ’ s N o t e | C o l l e g i a n W i s d o m | S e n a t e | H i s t o r y | R e l i g i o n | M e d i a + Te c h | S c i e n c e | F e a t u r e | W e e k i n F o r e c a s t | F o o d | C u l t u r e | O u t d o o r s | A d v i c e | P o l l

TAKING OUR TEMPERATURE AT WWU UPCOMING CAMPUS-WIDE HEALTH SURVEY

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Last Things First college place, wa | walla walla university

| April 2018 Issue 22

Craigslist Connoisseur

By Meghann Heinrich Children often go through phases.

Some fall head-over-heels in love with dinosaurs or barbies, and I’ve met a few lovers of sharks and trains, but for me it was something far different. From ages 8-15, I was obsessed with Craigslist. I know this sounds alarming, so let me be the first to quell your fears and clarify that my mother sensibly put very strict parameters and time limits on my Craigslist-searching capabilities.

That said, she couldn’t stop me from becoming the best deal hunter in the greater-Placerville area.

My insatiable love of classifieds was born when I asked my mother why things at the dollar store cost more than a dollar. She gave me a rough breakdown of how sales tax works, leaving my 8-year-old self rather dis-

Hey Thanks!

“Hey thanks visors for essentially being the hat version of a donut.”

“Hey thanks royalty free music for being the music equivalent of a mediocre casserole at potluck. There are better alternatives, but you are free.”

“Hey thanks sidewalk chalk for being the less edgy version of graffiti.”

gruntled as I learned that just because I had $5 I couldn’t buy five toys, as the store name implied. I asked her about Craigslist, and therein I found a beautiful place where the price stayed the same, or if you were lucky, could even be haggled down! I was on board.

That night I asked my mom if we could look at Craigslist together, and thus a bargain hunter was born. Rarely did I have a specific item in mind; no, I preferred to read through the ads, mentally circle anything that piqued my interest and then go back and select the most intriguing items to pitch to my parents.

I learned quickly that items like rats and birds were not high on my parents’ priority lists, but that did little to deter my passion for perusal. My mother, clever lady that she is, thought

she could convince me to give up my interest in bargain hunting by making me call those I wished to bargain with.

What she didn’t count on was my enthusiasm for finding deals outweighing my fear of talking with strangers on the phone. I realized I had power as an 8-year-old Craigslist tycoon. I’d call the sellers and set up a time and place to meet; many of them would be confused and request to speak with an adult.

I’d hand the phone to my mother who would sigh and confirm that I was, in fact, a bona fide buyer. When we would get to the appointed rendezvous spot, I’d march up and commence wheeling and dealing, and, as a child, I must say I had the edge. I could always talk them down in price, a skill that left my mother and the sellers somewhat baffled and a little sad.

Verbatim

With some clever pitching I was able to negotiate the following Craigslist purchases: • An egg incubator. The pitch: I needed it for science.

• Fertilized chicken eggs. The pitch: I needed them to go with my incubator, for science.

• A feral cat. The pitch: a birthday present for my sister.

• Four calves. The pitch: I need them so I could learn about cows and hard work.

• A dirt bike. The pitch: a practical necessity that matched my spitfire personality.

As you can see, my interests focused primarily on barnyard animals because those were the only things I could convince my parents to let me buy.

As I grew older my interests

shifted, and Craigslist faded into a distant memory of another time. Then, at the beginning of school this year, my mother asked me to help her find a kitchen table and set of chairs to go in my apartment. Immediately I felt the power returning as I entered the all-too-familiar URL into my browser.

As soon as that ill-designed home page popped up, I knew I was home.

Hot or Not

“Don’t ask me why I don’t have pants on. I don’t know.”

- Professor Rodd Strobel, when he wore shorts on a cold day

Nice!

“And then Ellen White sent an email...”

- Professor Pedrito Maynard-Reid “You lie like a sidewalk.”

- Professor Nancy Semotiuk “Horses don’t believe in the democratic process.”

- Professor Sherry Wachter explaining why horses don’t obey her “I am an honorary member of the Church of the Toad of Light.”

No...

- Professor Jim Nestler

Email your faculty verbatim or thank yous to meghann.heinrich@wallawalla.edu to be featured!

© 2018 KYRA GREYEYES

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April 2018 Issue 22 | walla walla university | college place, wa

Follow Us

Editor-in-Chief Daniella Silva

Twitter

Assistant Editor Kate Beckner

@aswwucollegian

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@aswwucollegian

Creative Director Kyra GreyEyes Life Editor Angelica Chan

Contact Us aswwu.collegian@wallawalla.edu

Backpage Editor Meghann Heinrich Head Copy Editor Brielle Tym Cover | Sophie Bailey

Layout Design Sophie Bailey Ashley Henry-Saturne Liam Hirst-Graves Copy Editors Geoffrey Lopes Karli Hart Jocelyn Griffin Office Manager Victoria Ico Distributer Sydney Peck Beau Gerber Advertising Manager Amanda Maizar

Writers Feature Michael Jensen Jake Sloop Cynthia Ochoa Food & Culture Daphne Novak Hannah Thiel Media & Tech Matt Fennell Outdoor Niqolas Ruud Science Forrest Sheperd History Zachary White Religion Peter Flores

The opinions of our writers do not necessarily reflect the views of The Collegian or Walla Walla University.

EDITOR’S NOTE

Daniella Silva 親愛なる読者、

Dear Reader, After a tumultuous start to the quarter as we discussed our campus’ blackface incident the first week and then swapped feature writers with Whitman College the second week, it feels like we’re all finally getting into the swing of things.

This quarter, our campus administration will conduct a campus-wide health survey of all the students at WWU. This survey is conducted every three to five years, and questions range from how often students brush their teeth to how often they do drugs and have sex. While responding to surveys may seem trivial, the data collected from this one in particular could be invaluable for the Administration. It helps them put programs in place to reduce drug and alcohol abuse or high stress or anxiety among students. In our feature this week, we go into more detail about the survey and explore the possibility of making some, if not all, of the results public so that students can also be informed of the health issues most prevalent on our campus.

Our survey question for last week was: “Should students have access to results from campus-wide university surveys they are asked to participate in?” You can read the results of the survey on page 8.

As usual, if you have any questions, comments or article submissions, you can send them to me at aswwu.collegian@wallawalla.edu. I hope your week is productive, educational and just overall snazzy!

Daniella Silva

キャンパスでのブラックフェイス いつものように、質問やコメント、 騒動の件を 今学期の始めに話し合 記事投稿があれば、aswwu.collegian@ い、 ようやく 校内は 落着きを取り戻し wallawalla.eduまでお送りください。 てきました。 今週もみなさまにとって実りのあ 今学期、学校側は、WWUの全学 る有益な一週間でありますように。 生を対象としたキャンパス全体の健 康調査を行います。 このアンケートは3 Translation by Julie Barrow, 〜5年ごとに実施され、質問は生徒の senior civil engineering student 歯磨きの頻度から薬をやりとりする回 数、性交渉について問われます。 アン ケートに回答するのは簡単ではない かもしれませんが、特にこの調査から 収集されたデータは、学校側にとって 非常に重要です。薬物やアルコール の乱用や学生のストレスや不安 を減 らす効果をもたらします。今週の 新聞 の記事でアンケート を詳しく説明し、 結果を公にする可能性を探ることで、 私たちのキャンパスでの健康問題を みなさまにお知らせることができます。 先週のアンケート調査の質問は、 「学生は、参加したキャンパス全体 の大学調査の結果を見ることができ るか？ 」調査の結果は8ページに及 びます。

PRESS RELEASE

ASWWU POSITIONS AVAILABLE Is This Thing On? Job applications are now open for ASWWU department heads.

Marketing Vice President Collegian Editor-in-Chief Global Service Director Apply online at aswwu.com/jobs.

PASSED BILL GL13 — Change in Position Title

SENATE Be on the lookout for an email from your local senator containing more information.

Senate meets on Tuesday nights at 8 p.m. in WEC 217

At 4 p.m. (PDT) on May 12, 2018, students from Walla Walla University will dialogue with Seventh-day Adventist Church leaders from the North American Division (NAD) during a 120-minute livestreamed conversation. During “Is This Thing On?” Dan Jackson, president of the Seventh-day Adventist Church in North America; Alex Bryant, executive secretary; and Tom Evans, treasurer, will answer questions via audience and social media during the program’s third Facebook Live event.

This will be the first “Is This Thing On?” for Evans, who is looking forward to answering questions on finance.

“I’m excited to see what they’re teaching our kids in college these days; and hopefully I can teach them a thing or two about how the church handles tithe and offering, how we allocate funds,” said Evans. “I am also hoping that we can touch the nerve of some of our upcoming graduates to think about working for the church in the area of finance and accounting.”

The program is unscripted; questions will be taken primarily from Facebook and Twitter. Subjects may include the church finances, the Bible, church policy, Adventist lifestyle, race relations, theology, relationships, and more.

The young adult audience featured during the live event will be selected

COLLEGIAN WISDOM No Collegian last week

Don’t worry, there wasn’t a break in the time-space continuum.

Alumni are coming this weekend Now they can see whether it was worth donating money for Bowers Hall.

It’s professionalism week right now Currently at work in sweatpants.

Awards Ceremony on Friday Honestly, Collegian Wisdom should get the Pulitzer.

Pastor Alex Bryan leaves University Church He wanted that Adventist Health salary.

Sophie Bailey’s “Pop-Up Shop” in the Atlas on Friday Do you want fancy hand lettering? This is where you’ll get it.

from a group of interested students.

Those participating online are encouraged to use #NADNOW. Social media “ambassadors” from the student body of Walla Walla, Washington, university will tweet live from the event, and engage in the conversation by sharing live stats, comments, and questions with host Julio Muñoz, associate director of the NAD Office of Communication.

“Our church only becomes stronger when we talk to each other, pray with each other, and learn from one another,” said Jackson. “Transparent and open dialogue on issues important to young people is something we are able to engage in with this conversation. And it’s something we, as a church, should foster beyond this event.”

The first Is This Thing On? Event, held on March 14, 2017, drew more than 23,000 viewers, with hundreds of questions and comments pouring in during B the event and directly after. The second event on December 2, 2017, at Oakwood p University drew 11,300 views and about N 2,000 reactions and posted comments, m which included 975 questions and statet ments regarding the conversation. More than 80,500 Twitter accounts were reached through almost 400 tweets and retweets.

college place, wa, walla walla university

| April 2018 Issue 22

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HISTORY LABOR STRIKES

The Ludlow Massacre

104 Years Ago, The National Guard Opened Fire On Striking Colorado Miners

By Zachary White The workers had a simple list of demands. It was 1913 when the United Mine Workers of America (UMWA) tried to negotiate better working conditions for miners working for the John D. Rockefeller-owned Colorado Fuel and Iron Company. Many people today would be shocked by the basic level of decency that unionists were demanding during this tumultuous time of U.S. labor history. The UMWA was

tuted, among other things.1,2 When the Colorado Fuel and Iron Company refused this offer in September of 1913, UMWA called for a strike. On Sept. 23, over 10,000 miners walked out. Even though Rockefeller was notoriously anti-union, many people were surprised by the company’s next response. All of those participating in the strike were evicted from their company homes in the mining towns, and various tent colonies were erected by the striking

act of perhaps the most violent struggle between corporate power and laboring men in American history.” Like much of U.S. labor history, however, the massacre that killed 25 people has gone relatively unnoticed in the 21st century. “Despite five thousands [sic] pages of testimony, taken at the time

by Congressional investigating bodies, it remains an obscure event, rarely mentioned in textbooks on American history,” Zinn writes.6

vehicle dubbed the “Death Special” was deployed to fire ammunition at tent communities in mining towns.

Company-hired detectives also spied on communities and were often violent.7,8 Because of these incidents, workers in the tent colonies armed themselves and guarded the outskirts of their communities. In order to prevent more potential violence, Colorado governor Elias Simmons deployed the supposedly-neutral National Guard to manage

A photo of the ruins of the Ludlow tent colony taken a week after it’s destruction by the U.S. National Guard on April 20, 1914.

(THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS) asking for recognition of their union as a bargaining agent, enforcement of the eight-hour-work-day law, payment for “dead work” (such as timbering, track laying and anything other than actual mining), an honest and impartial weighing system to measure the goods they had mined and an end to the company-sponsored armed guard system that the company had insti-

workers. Ludlow, in southern Colorado, was the biggest of these colonies, and housed approximately 1,200 people, including striking workers and their families.3,4,5 The strike continued for months and eventually led to the Ludlow Massacre of April 20, 1914—104 years ago last week. Famed labor historian Howard Zinn described the Ludlow Massacre as “the culminating

To understand the context of the April 20 massacre, one must consider the state of the Ludlow tent colony before this date. Because of their massively superior resources, the Colorado Fuel and Iron company was doing all it could to intimidate and infiltrate the striking workers in tent communities such as Ludlow. In October 1913, a company-sponsored armored

the situation in late October.9,10 By April of 1914, however, limited funds caused the number of National Guard troops to decrease and emboldened workers in Ludlow, who were frustrated by the military presence and continued to resist. Increased violence prompted National Guard troops and Colorado Fuel and Iron Company guards to surround Ludlow and set up a machine gun on a

hill above the tent colony on April 19.

While many dispute the catalyst for the violence, National Guardsmen opened fire on the camp on April 20, and a day-long battle ensued. While several male workers were killed in the battle, 11 women and two children were found dead after the National Guard soaked tents in kerosene and set the community ablaze. That day 25 people, including three National Guardsmen, died.11 Besides the small memorial erected in 1918 at Ludlow and the heartbreakingly beautiful 1944 Woody Guthrie ballad that bears its name, the Ludlow Massacre remains, as Zinn described, an obscure event.12,13,14 I think that this should not be so, however, since I personally gain immense inspiration from labor history, even while reading tragic stories such as these. I encourage everyone to take a moment every once in a while to think about how the things we take for granted—like child labor laws, weekends, overtime payment and other general labor protections—were won through gruesome, and often bloody, battles.

These battles were fought by ordinary people, often in destitute poverty and with little education. Their bold resolve to organize, fight and stand together in the face of deadly working conditions and the brutal opposition of both the state and corporations should be an example to us all. We stand on their shoulders as Americans living in the 21st century. We would do well in 2018 to remember the battle cry of the radical labor movement in the early 1900s: “An injury to one is an injury to all.”

1 https://www.du.edu/ludlow/strike_000.html 2https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ludlow_Massacre 3 https://www.britannica.com/event/Ludlow-Massacre 4 http://socialistreview.org.uk/390/1914-war-uscoalfields 5 https://www.newyorker.com/business/currency/ the-ludlow-massacre-still-matters 6 https://www.howardzinn.org/labor-day-history-ludlow-massacre/ 7 https://coloradoencyclopedia.org/article/ludlow-massacre 8 http://socialistreview.org.uk/390/1914-war-uscoalfields 9 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ludlow_Massacre 10 https://coloradoencyclopedia.org/article/ludlow-massacre 11 https://www.britannica.com/event/Ludlow-Massacre 12 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ludlow_Tent_Colony_Site 13 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDd64suDz1A 14 http://www.woodyguthrie.org/Lyrics/Ludlow_Massacre.htm

Zachary White is a history and sociology major.

RELIGION MAKE A DIFFERENCE

To Leave or to Listen?

By Peter Flores A few weeks ago, I read an article published on the Adventist News Network website that honestly tore at my heart a bit. Its title is “An Invitation to Uplift Jesus.”1 The author is not specifically mentioned—all it says as far as authorship is “General Conference Executive Leadership and Division Presidents.” You wouldn’t think it from the title, but this article essentially hinted at a creedal statement by the General Conference. However, not having a creed is a part of what makes us Adventist. I know the 28 Fundamental Beliefs are pretty much an unofficial creed, but the idea is that instead of being required to adhere to those specific beliefs, you are called to study them for yourself to find what you believe. Without understanding much about church politics, I could still smell something a little fishy here.

The article is published under the guise of being a kind nudge to movements like the “One Project” to stay on track.

What it really says, however, leads me to believe that the future of our church and religious freedom is being attacked.

Keep in mind that this article was not written by a specific person. Which of the “General Conference Executive Division Presidents” actually wrote this? Was it you, Ted? We don’t know!

The vague “Invitation to Uplift” reads like an invitation from my parents to do my chores. Is it an invitation or a command? That is the issue I’m trying to touch on here. In the future of our church, is the leadership going to forego this invitation all together and test people’s loyalty based on whether or not they believe in a literal six day creation? Honestly, I wouldn’t really care about this issue and would just leave the church if I didn’t have hope.

However, my hope is that college-aged

Dan Jackson. (ADVENTIST REVIEW) Adventists can change the church by staying engaged and involved.

I have spent the last year or so involved in a very basic level of church politics. Subsequently, I was invited, along with a group of college-aged young people, to the year-end meetings of the North American Division of Seventh-day Adventists. During these meetings, I was exposed to some of the inner workings of the NAD, some

major issues with our church and some of the reason many things don’t really happen in our church. The short version is that nobody really listens to one another (this would make sense given the article mentioned in the last paragraph; the GC leadership wants to pass their agenda without listening to anyone). During the meetings, people were constantly snickering, talking and distracted whenever someone

who didn’t share the same opinion was talking. When we, young people, commented on an issue that seemed important to us, you could feel the tension rise in the room as the gazes of uninterested people met ours or as the groans of some people clashed with the applause of those who approved of our being there. As far as the people who attended the meetings were concerned, half of the attendees wanted us there

and the other half seemed apathetic.

The only ones who listened were the people leading the meeting. To be more specific, Dan Jackson, the President of the NAD, wanted to hear whatever the young people had to say. He would cut off other people who wanted to speak after time was up and almost always let us speak even when we went overtime.

Going to the NAD year-end meetings was an amazing opportunity but I was poorly prepared for them.

If I could go back, I would’ve said different things or mentioned some deeper-rooted issues. I don’t even know if I was the best person to be sent to the meetings. However, you voted me as your Adventist Intercollegiate Association President, and that’s the only reason I went. The only two people from Walla Walla who got to go were Adam Hagele and myself. Were we the best representatives? I’m not sure. What I am sure of is that there is still time for you to speak and be heard by the NAD leadership.

On the second weekend in May, the NAD Executive leadership will be coming to our campus to answer our questions. We can ask anything. They welcome our questions, but we need to make sure we are prepared. This time it won’t be two WWU students—it could be hundreds of us. This is our opportunity to make a difference, and my hope is that we will do just that.

Keep your eyes and ears open in these upcoming weeks for more information about how you can personally get involved with this endeavor. Details will come soon! Have hope!

1 “An Invitation to Uplift Jesus” https://news. adventist.org/en/all-news/news/go/2018-04-11/an-in-

Peter Flores is a theology major.

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April 2018 Issue 22 | walla walla university | college place, wa

MEDIA/TECH TV, MOVIE, GAMES, PODCASTS

New Music and a Digital Detective Story

By Matt Fennell Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to get out and see “A Quiet Place” this past weekend because I was struck down with a terrible cold.

However, if all went according to plan, by the time you’re reading this on or after Thursday, I will have hit up the Walla Walla theater on $5 Tuesday and had all the snot scared out of me by Jim Halpert and his terrifying silent film.1 You’ll definitely hear my thoughts on that movie next week, but I’ve got some fun stuff to talk about this week, too, so let’s dive right in!

“Golden Hour”—Kacey Musgraves The first thing on the docket this week is “Golden Hour”—the newest album from Kacey Musgraves. I was first alerted to this one when Tyler Mahan Coe, the host of the excellent “Cocaine and Rhinestones,”2 wouldn’t stop tweeting about it, and I decided to give it a shot. The easiest way to describe the sound and feel of “Golden Hour” is as a sort of alternate-timeline Taylor Swift record where she never stopped making country music (but honestly, that feels kind of reductive, because this album is so much better). “Golden Hour” is, at times, slow, smooth and somber and, at others, snappy, silly and sarcastic.3 Last quarter, I described Lord Huron’s albums as sounding the way that looking at a cold full moon feels. “Golden Hour” is the polar opposite: a musical representation of a beautiful sunset on a warm spring night. My favorite tracks are “Love is a Wild Thing,” “Space Cowboy,” “Velvet Elvis” and “Rainbow,” but again, every song on this album is a treat. “Golden Hour” is a treasure; download it, wait for a nice warm Friday afternoon and sit out and listen to it while you watch the setting sun turn the sky all pinkand-orange-and-red.

Murder, Real Estate, Old Newspapers and the Internet Okay, now we’re going to kind of go off the rails. This next chunk technically counts as a technology story—but only just barely. Four years ago, when I was getting ready to come out here for U-Days as a high school senior, I had to go to all of my teachers, notify them of my trip and get them to sign a stupid “Excused Absence Request” form. When I told my Bible teacher that I’d be heading to Walla Walla, he lit up, told me that he’d lived out here in the 80s and asked me to swing by his old house and take a picture of it so he could see if the current owners had kept up his meticulous landscaping. I half-heartedly promised that I would and was getting ready to head out when he decided to drop one last fact about his time in Walla Walla: there had been a murder-suicide at his neighbor’s house. He explained that there was a young married couple living in it. At some point, they’d decided to get a divorce but were still living together as roommates because the house payments were too expensive for either one of them to make alone. The wife started seeing other people and got involved with a dude named Robert E.

Lee. Eventually, she realized this guy was bad news and broke it off, but Lee didn’t take that well. Some time went by and one night, when the wife was returning from work, Lee hid in some hedges next to the house, slipped into the garage behind her car, waited for her to get out and then pulled a gun.

There was a loud argument that woke the husband who was sleeping inside on a couch. When he came to see what the matter was, Lee shot him, dragged the wife inside, shot the husband three more times and then killed the wife and himself. Somehow, the husband survived and crawled across the street to seek help. The whole thing was apparently a huge news story, and, according to my Bible teacher, “a perfect example of why we should abstain from extra-marital sex.” A few weeks ago, I remembered this story and decided to try to find evidence of this murder-suicide or else prove that this was some sort of carefully calculated moral-scare prank on the part of my Bible teacher. I figured that because I had so many details, all I’d have to do was launch a carefully-crafted Google search. Of course, it was nowhere near that easy, and my search turned into a full blown cyber-forensic disaster, which went pretty much as follows: I started with a good old-fashioned Google search, using terms like “College Place WA murder suicide 80s” and “Walla Walla Union Bulletin College Place WA murder suicide 80s.” None of these searches yielded useful results, so I busted out the advanced Boolean search operators! Still nothing.

I then decided to try to narrow my search by looking for results with the only name in the story I knew: that of the killer, Robert E. Lee. Aside from the Confederate general, that’s a fairly unique name, right? Wrong.

During the early 90s, there was a serial killer named Robert Lee Yates who had worked at the state penitentiary in Walla Walla and murdered prostitutes in Spokane. All of my search results got sucked into Yates’ orbit.

At this point, I figured that I’d be able to get closer if I had a more specific time frame to search in. I searched for Robert E. Lee death records in Walla Walla county and found one labeled 1986 and another labeled 1994. I was pretty sure that my teacher had moved back to the east coast by 1994, so I figured the 1986 might be the right one.

This was a step in the right direction but not helpful enough on its own.

The only other big detail I had about this story was the address of the murder house. In my mind, knowing whether or not a murder occurred in a house I might be buying seems important. I figured that maybe there’d be some crime report on a real-estate site like Zillow, so I searched there but didn’t really find anything (probably because a real-estate company isn’t going to tell you about a grisly murder that happened in a house they’re selling; it seems bad for business). However, I did find out that a lot of the property data showing up on these sites was being aggregated from a government site where you could enter a county proper-

GOLDEN HOUR COVER. (MERCURY NASHVILLE) ty parcel number and get a full report.

So, I did and found all sorts of good tax reports and renovation information but, unfortunately, no crime report. This lack of evidence is either because a) the data in these reports doesn’t go back far enough, or b) these reports don’t really deal with murders.

It seemed insane that the Union Bulletin didn’t have an online archive, but I couldn’t find one on their official site, so I did some more searches, just looking for a Walla Walla Union Bulletin online archive. I came across a site called NewspaperArchive.com that promised access to Union Bulletin issues from the 1945 until now, all for a low annual price of $100. That was no good. However, NewspaperArchive would let me use their search function on a limited amount of preview pages to find an article I might want to subscribe for. I noodled around with that, going back to my original search terms, but without a specific date in 1986, I was still getting too many results.

At this point, I was pretty sure my teacher had made the whole story up, but suddenly, I remembered him mentioning that at the end of the year of the murder, the Union Bulletin had declared the murder the top story of the year. I decided to use one of my preview pages on the the last Sunday edition of 1986 and hit the jackpot!

“Murder-suicide’s top story of 1986” was plastered across the top of the page, and there was a quick paragraph

or two listing some specifics of the incident, including a date: Sept. 29, 1986.

I took this date and tried to access the Union Bulletin issue but found no mention of the murder-suicide. I then realized that the murder had happened around midnight, and the report would probably be in the next day’s issue.

Unfortunately, at this point, I’d burned through all of my preview pages and could only access low-resolution images and a bad OCR4 scan of the issue in question, but they were enough to confirm once and for all that this murder had indeed happened.

Why did I take the time to find this story and share it with you? Partly because I have a hard time letting go of things, partly because I thought my whole detective adventure was kind of fun, but mostly to serve as a reminder that you can’t find everything with a quick Google search, and if we’re not careful, we’ll lose, forget or ignore historical records simply because we don’t want to take the time to hunt for them.

I mean, obviously we all know this, but it’s crazy how easy it is to forget that search engines aren’t omniscient when push comes to shove. I was almost positive my teacher had made up this story because I couldn’t find evidence of it in a few quick searches, and that’s kind of scary, right? Knowing how to take full advantage of the search tools available to us is a big part of the responsibility that comes with their power, and taking a moment to reflect on that

responsibility is never a bad thing.

That’s all the space I’ve got for today, but I’ll be back next week with more music reviews, my thoughts on “A Quiet Place” and a very quick hype-session for “Infinity War” because, guys, that’s here today!

As always, shoot me an email at matthew.fennell@wallawalla.edu if you’ve got any questions, comments or concerns, and until next week, have a good one5!

1 Surprise surprise, I still haven’t seen “A Quiet Place.” Maybe next week?

2 “Cocaine and Rhinestones” is a podcast that dives deep into the messy stories behind some of the biggest names in country music. This may not sound like your jam, but I promise, it is. Start with the Louvin Brothers episode and you’ll be hooked. Tyler also co-hosts the hilariously entertaining “Your Favorite Band Sucks,” which is exactly what it sounds like it is. Check out both of these podcasts, and I promise you won’t be disappointed!

3 Looking at the track list after finishing my blurb: there’s literally a song called “Happy & Sad,” so yeah, that’s definitely the mood of this album.

4 OCR stands for Optical Character Recognition.

5 Lightning round of new things I love!

Jukebox the Ghost’s new Queen-sounding-album, “Off to the Races.”

Lord Huron’s dreamy audio odyssey, “Vide Noir.”

The new “God of War” for PS4. Sweet goodness, what an amazing video game.

“Dissembler” for iOS by Ian MacLarty. This is the most polished mobile puzzle game I’ve ever played.

The new season of “Silicon Valley,” which feels much more like seasons 1 and 2 (which is a good thing).

Matt Fennell is a computer engineering major.

SCIENCE WATER CRISIS

Day Zero

By Forrest Sheperd The last century has seen rapid civilization growth, largely characterized by people moving out of rural farmlands and into cities and suburbs.

This concentration of human settlement into small areas calls for huge resource demands from the surrounding landscape or from more resourceful areas. Although the concentrated population works in some areas, other cities are stretching the resources of the surrounding area to their limits, as is the case of the headline-dominating Cape Town Water Crisis in what is quickly approaching South Africa’s second largest city. In light of Earth Day last Sunday, April 22, what can this crisis tell us about the impact of climate change on how we develop our rapidly-growing cities?

“Day Zero,” as it is commonly referred to, is the term for the day when the city of around 4 million people will simply run out of water for its residents. This day has been predicted since as early as 1990.1 The changing climate has contributed to a severe drought beginning in 2015 throughout the Western Cape province, and the city’s water reserve has rapidly declined since then.2 Extreme water conservation and some water from rural areas has helped to stave off Day Zero beyond its original estimated date of arrival, which was this month. The date has now been postponed until 2019 as long as efforts for conservation continue. These conservation efforts include residents only being allowed to consume 50 liters of water per person per day for all purposes—about the amount used in a five-minute shower.

Cape Town is also working to develop four new desalination plants to produce fresh water from the ocean, as well as plants which would recycle some sewage.

How did this crisis happen? Cape Town, a coastal city in a climate classified as chaparral, usually has a rainy winter and a very dry summer. This type of climate is often surrounded by a desert, which makes it hard to import water. Additionally, recent years have been characterized by dry weather year-round, without the much-needed rainy winter.3 This lack of rain, combined with the fact that the chaparral climate is so desirable due to its mild seasonal temperatures, has resulted in a rapidly-growing population in a city with a rapidly-declining water supply.

In just the last 10 years, the population of Cape Town has more than doubled.4 Cape Town is also a major exporter of goods such as wine and produce, industries that consume tens of billions of gallons of water every year—up to 90 percent of the area’s water.5 Although the city’s population has been able to successfully decrease water consumption by 50 percent since 2015, there is still far more water consumed than is added to the water supply.6 Cape Town is, unfortunately, not alone in its struggle to stretch its natural resources to accommodate its rapidly-growing population. Melbourne, Australia, announced that it could run out of water in a little over a decade, while many of the 21 million Mexico City residents have time-restricted water access, in some cases for just a few hours a week.7 Although part of these urgent cases can be attributed to droughts

Theewaterskloof Dam, Cape Town’s former main water supply, now nearly dry. (TORONTO STAR) exacerbated by rising global temperatures, another factor is that many people often choose to live in locations without the natural resources required to accomodate the concentrated populations of millions of wasteful humans.

However, good may yet come out of these situations, as they push society to develop more creative ways to collect and use the resources around us, such as desalination plants and processing wastewater.

1 Streek, Barry. “Cape Town Will Run out of Water in 17 Years.” Cape Times, 26 Apr. 1990.

2 Wolski, Piotr. “Facts Are Few, Opinions Plenty... on Drought Severity Again.” Csag.uct.ac.za, Climate Systems Analysis Group, 22 Jan. 2018, www.csag. uct.ac.za/2018/01/22/facts-are-few-opinions-plentyon-drought-severity-again/.

3 Ibid.

4 Saunderson-Meyer, William. “Commentary: In Drought-Hit South Africa, the Politics of Water.” Reuters, Thomson Reuters, 23 Feb. 2018, www.reuters. com/article/us-saundersonmeyer-drought-commentary/commentary-in-drought-hit-south-africa-the-politics-of-water-idUSKBN1FP226 5 “From Not Enough to Too Much, the World’s Water Crisis Explained.” National Geographic, National

Geographic Society, 22 Mar. 2018, www.news. nationalgeographic.com/2018/03/world-water-daywater-crisis-explained/.

6 Welch, Craig. “Why Cape Town Is Running Out of Water, and Who’s Next.” National Geographic, National Geographic Society, 5 Mar. 2018, www.news. nationalgeographic.com/2018/02/cape-town-running-out-of-water-drought-taps-shutoff-other-cities/.

7 Ibid.

Forrest Sheperd is a biology major.

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Feature college place, wa | walla walla university

| April 2018 Issue 22

Taking Our Temperature: Upcoming Campus-Wide Health Survey at WWU

By Michael Jensen, Jake Sloop and Daniella Silva In the coming few weeks, all undergraduate students on Walla Walla University’s College Place and Portland campuses will be asked to fill out a survey called the American College Health Association National College Health Assessment (ACHA-NCHA for short).

This in-depth survey helps colleges across the nation “determine the most significant health priorities and trends of [their] student bod[ies].” 1 Topics mapped by the survey include: • Alcohol, tobacco, and other drug use • Sexual health • Weight, nutrition, and exercise • Mental health • Personal safety and violence2 Unlike Title IX training, this survey is not government-mandated. However, the university is required to show that it is doing some level of internal market research, and administering this assessment helps the school check off this “self-study” checkbox. Naturally, the school’s administration also cares deeply about student responses to these topics, so they have asked for ASWWU’s help in promoting the survey. There are plenty of good reasons to take the assessment, but there are also some legitimate concerns. Keep reading to learn about both sides of the issue.

Why should you take the survey?

Besides any potential incentives offered by ASWWU, there are a couple of key reasons why students should participate in the ACHA-NCHA. First of all, the assessment will give the school’s leadership insight into current wellness issues on campus. Campus health and vitality plays a huge role in student experience and success, but if the struggles faced by WWU students are not clearly understood or defined, it is difficult for campus health to improve. The survey will only paint an accurate picture if it is taken by a wide cross-section of students, and its clarity will increase with each participant.

Doug Tilstra, VP of Student Life, summarized the matter nicely, explaining that students should take the survey “to help make Walla Walla a better place for students.”

Furthermore, offering the survey again—it was last administered in 2013—will allow the school to gauge the success of any initiatives launched in response to the last survey. For example, Tilstra explained that 2013’s survey showed that comparatively, the student population at WWU had “a higher incidence of loneliness than on comparing campuses.” ASWWU, student life and academic administration used that information to drive their work to create a culture that makes everyone feel included. How successful were their efforts?

This year’s survey may show us—but only if people participate!

How will student data be protected?

The survey itself asks for no identifying information, and no raw data will be paired with a student’s name or any other personal information. Once collected, the data will be given to an internal data analysis task force. This group will decide what data will be released, as well as how and when— likely sometime next school year. They will also create a summary report of their findings.

ASWWU’s participation This year, representatives from the university administration, Doug Tilstra and Scott Ligman, consulted with ASWWU Cabinet about how the student body could be more involved in the entire process of the ACHA-NCHA survey, from promotion to data analysis. Their goal was also to negotiate better returns for the students who participated.

During negotiations, ASWWU requested that four student representatives be allowed to sit on the committee that analyzes the survey results and that some data be released to the entire

around campus with golf carts and large megaphones asking students to come take the survey at a location that has yet to be determined. Once students complete the survey, they will be offered a small reward. “There may be cookies involved,” said current ASWWU president, Adam Hagele. Hagele also reminded students to “keep an eye out for ASWWU texts, daily news and announcements, and the ASWWU Marketing email that will provide more details about small pop-up events we’re planning for this survey.” Students can also choose to complete the survey on their own personal devices.

What happened in 2013?

The last time WWU conducted the ACHA-NCHA survey was 2013. That year, the survey was heavily promoted

by ASWWU, and its marketing efforts helped make the survey a success.

Unfortunately, the university chose not to share any of the resulting data with its student body. This caused outrage among some of the student leaders who had helped promote the survey.

They reasoned that because the student

bad and negatively impact donations.

However, the lack of transparency from administrators eroded student trust at the time.

Ironically, the official website for the survey suggests that data from the survey can be used to benefit the campus by being made available “for campus and local media [like The Collegian] to cite in articles and editorials.”[1] In other words, refusing to make any of the data public impedes the campus newspaper’s ability to fulfill its journalistic role in informing students about the health issues most affecting the student body—a role that is affirmed on the ACHA’s own website.

Will things be different this year?

Tilstra believes the lack of transparency in 2013 was caused not only because the university feared releasing “salacious” or “juicy” data about the institution but also because similar data has been misused in the past to paint an unfair portrait of WWU. If the university released an entire report of the raw survey data, certain individuals would almost certainly go through it to

The Survey’s Benefits • Identify the most common health and behavior risks affecting students’ academic performance • Design evidence-based health promotion programs with targeted educational and environmental initiatives.

• Create social norms marketing campaigns by comparing students’ actual behaviors to their perceptions about peer behavior.

• Allocate monetary and staffing resources based upon defined needs.

• Provide needs assessment data for campus and community task forces on sexual assault, alcohol use, eating disorders, etc.

• Have readily available graphs and data for policy discussions and presentations with faculty, staff, administration, and board members.

• Impact the campus culture by opening a dialogue about health with students and staff.

• Develop proposals to secure grant funding to expand or develop programs.

• Evaluate your programming efforts by conducting repeat administrations of the survey.

student body. However, administration has so far been reluctant to promise that any data be released because certain statistics regarding alcohol, sex and drug use may be misused. Additionally, the school has said that only two student representatives instead of four will be allowed to sit on the data analysis committee: next year’s ASWWU president, Katie Folkenberg, and one other student of her choosing. For the first time, students will be a part of the decision-making process regarding the use of the data.

In order to promote the survey, ASWWU will be broadcasting it to students in the style of a good old political campaign—with megaphones.

Members of cabinet will be driving

body and its leadership had invested time in promoting and taking the assessment, they ought to have access to the data they created. The administration rejected ASWWU’s arguments and stood by its decision to keep all data confidential; no tangible benefits were offered to students.

The outrage caused by this incident led to a number of rumors, including some people postulating that administration would not release data because it contained discouraging evidence regarding alcohol consumption on campus. If results showed that a majority of WWU students did not behave in accordance with traditional Adventist values, publishing those results could make the school look

cherry-pick data that makes WWU look bad. For example, they might show that X number of students at the university regularly took drugs without noting that the number was below the national average for college-aged individuals.

“It does not take a rocket scientist to say there’s no point in making it easy for people who want to run Walla Walla down,” said Tilstra. That’s why if the task force decides to release any data, it will likely only be comparative data.

A related, and somewhat more nuanced, concern the university has is that no other Adventist university currently releases their data from campus-wide health surveys, meaning that if WWU released its own data, it would open it up to more unfair criticism

than its sister schools. The university does not currently feel prepared to deal with the difficult position such actions would create for them.

In response to this concern, Tilstra believes there is much that can be done to overcome these challenges: “I think it would be wonderful if all the Adventist colleges would agree to say… ‘we are going to create a data bank for the Adventist colleges, and we will have some governing policies on how this is going to be released and how it’s going to be used so that we can know if we are handling these mental and physical health issues responsibly.’ Currently, the school has only just begun having discussions about creating such a database; however, it remains a viable solution to promoting greater transparency from the administration.”

Furthermore, Tilstra believes the administration does have a responsibility to talk with students about delicate issues such as addiction, sexual identity and belief in an atmosphere of respect and mutual dialogue. He said, “By failing to talk about things, we’re certainly not going to make any improvement.” However, it is also important to realize that no amount of dialogue will change the fundamental principles upon which the university was founded: “There’s not much of a big mystery that at the end of the day, Walla Walla University is going to be true to the values and beliefs of the Seventh-day Adventist Church,” said Tilstra. While he believes the university must listen to students at every opportunity, he also believes that the university may sometimes have to draw unpopular boundaries such as deciding how much data will be released from surveys until the administration has more information about what those results will be.

Student Opinion: The University should not be afraid to tell students the truth.

In case it wasn’t painfully clear, Adventist education’s success is predicated upon the meeting of student needs and alumni donors’ expectations for religious schools. If the school can keep both enrollment and donations high while continuing to uphold its core values, then it is a success—hence WWU’s success in staying afloat for the last 126 years. Therefore, when students demand data that could disappoint alumni donors and other religious patrons, administrators must weigh the benefits of losing a critical source of funding against the effects of student outrage.

In light of this balancing act the administration conducts between donors and students, we can theorize that any data released to students will be carefully selected to reflect positively on school leadership. This data, sadly, will not assist student leaders in addressing the needs our student body.

Instead, it will serve to continue driving alumni donations and fail to help the problems our campus faces, such as those addressed in the feature two weeks ago in The Wire. Furthermore, it will not give the student body the data it needs to assist administration in its ongoing battle: to address issues such as substance abuse among the student body. Donations cannot fix these issues, but a unified student government and school administration can help solve them.

While the administration’s balancing act seems somewhat justified, it is ultimately a temporary fix to a growing disparity between alumni donors’ views of the school and the actual reality of the student body. Choosing to allow more data to be released on campus will help make this upcoming survey not only a data collection opportunity but also a catalyst for positive growth which will benefit us all. I hope and pray our administration will make the right choice.

1 American College Health Association National College Health Assessment, http://www.acha-ncha. org/overview.html 2 Ibid.

3 Ibid.

(ANDREW YAMADA)

Michael Jensen is a mechanical engineering major.

Jake Sloop is a biochemistry major.

Daniella Silva is an international communications major.

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April 2018 Issue 22 | walla walla university | college place, wa

WEEK IN FORECAST

April 26-May 2 26

Thursday

Homecoming Weekend 2018 @ WWU Branding New, Branding You, Branding Now @ WWU Havstad Alumni Center, 12 p.m. to 1 p.m. tWWUnes @ SAC, 7 p.m.

Smoothies are half off with a tWWUnes director signature, just $1.50!

National Pretzel Day National Dissertation Day

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Friday

Rosario Weekend by ASWWU Outdoors and Spiritual @ Rosario Beach Marine Laboratory

Rosario Weekend by ASWWU Outdoors and Spiritual @ Rosario Beach Marine Laboratory

CommUnity: Awards Celebration @ WWU Church, 11 a.m. to 12 p.m.

WWU Brass Choir Concert @ WWU Church, 7 p.m. to 8 p.m.

Randy Yaw Pi Contest @ Kretschmar Hall, 3:14 p.m. to 4 p.m.

Bowers Hall Open House @ Bowers Hall, 8 p.m. to 9:30 p.m.

Pop-up Shop Fundraiser @ Atlas 1 p.m. to 3 p.m.

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Saturday

Battle of the Comedians @ Blackbox Theater, 8:30 p.m. to 10 p.m.

WWU Music Department PRISM Concert @ WWU Church, 8 p.m. to 9 p.m.

Workers’ Memorial Day National Superhero Day

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FOOD I LOAF THE LOAF

Nut and Seed Loaf (A Lot More Exciting Than It Sounds)

By Hannah Thiel I remember as a kid crinkling my nose at the idea of any type of loaf that included dried fruit or nuts. My mind instantly went to those cringe-worthy fruit cakes that the media delightfully portrayed at every Christmas family gathering. In TV shows, the cakes were always brought by that one weird old aunt who no one liked to talk to—yet another example of unrealistic expectations the media portrays. I kid.

Anyhow, I’m here to sell you on the love of loaves which contain fruit and nuts (I feel like I can’t quite call this a fruit-cake because it’s not a cake).

The best way for me to describe this bread is that it’s a lot like overnight baked oats. You basically throw together all the ingredients, which are all nuts and seeds in various forms, then let the batter sit overnight to let the nuts soak up the added liquid. It is incredibly easy to make and so satisfying to eat. A great thing about this loaf is that it is gluten free and vegan!

Huzzah! It also contains no refined sugar—just a bit of sweetness from the honey and dried fruit of your choice.

Nut and Fruit Loaf Adapted from “My Life is Delicious” Makes 2 loaves

Ingredients

Daphne Novak is a psychology major.

•

1/3 cup ground almonds

•

1/3 cup psyllium seed husk 1

•

3/4 cup sunflower seeds

•

1 tablespoon cinnamon

•

1/2 cup pumpkin seeds

•

1 teaspoon vanilla paste/extract

•

1/2 cup chopped hazelnuts

•

2 teaspoons salt

•

1/4 cup chopped almonds

•

2 1/2 cups water

•

1 cup chopped dried apricots

•

1/4 cup olive oil

•

2 cups oats

•

1/4 cup maple syrup

•

1/2 cup flaxseeds

1

Available in the Andy’s bulk spice section

Directions 1.

Mix everything together in a large bowl, cover it and let it soak overnight.

2.

Preheat the oven to 400° F and lightly grease two loaf pans.

3.

Bake for 1 1/2 hours.

4.

Let cool and enjoy!

That’s it! Feel free to swap any of the given ingredients for a different dried fruit or nut. This loaf would be super yummy with dried figs, but I had apricots on hand, so it is what it is.

(TOMORROW FIT)

CULTURE A POET WHO KNOWS IT

Claudia Castro Luna Poetry Reading

By Hannah Thiel Last week, the current Washington State Poet Laureate, Claudia Castro Luna, gave a poetry reading on campus, during which she discussed her approach to poetry and read some of her work. Her poetry was lovely and thought-provoking, and it was fascinating to hear how she writes and thinks.

Castro Luna got her Masters in urban planning before she got her Master of Fine Art (MFA) in writing. She decided to study urban planning first, even though she knew she loved writing, because she wanted to get involved with social justice and, at the time, couldn’t see how she could do so with writing. However, once employed as an urban planner, she realized how much she really wanted to write for a living.

She recounted that she would often do all the writing at her job, and she even created a newsletter for the place she worked just so she could write for it.

Now that she has left urban planning, she finds that her background in it has informed her writing and left her particularly interested in poetry that’s tied to a place.

Castro Luna began by reading one of the first poems she ever wrote,“My Father’s Garden.” This poem was about her father who immigrated with the rest of her family to the U.S. from El Salvador in 1981 before moving back after 20 years. “My Father’s Garden” describes the garden that her father created upon his return to El Salvador and Castro Luna’s reaction upon seeing it. She describes how she realized that

her father had been unhappy the whole time her family had lived in the U.S., since they had lived in apartment buildings where he could not have a garden.

She read several poems from her book “Killing María” which is about the femicide in Ciudad Juárez. Each poem is dedicated to a different woman named María who had been killed. She described the book as both a protest of violence against women and an alliance with the victims of this violence.

Castro Luna also discussed her position as Seattle’s first Civic Poet.

While in this position, she started thinking about the many grids for the city—an electrical grid, a sewage grid and so on. Inspired by these grids, she created a poetry grid that maps poetry connected to specific places in the

city. To accomplish this grid, she held workshops at schools and libraries all over the city where people could learn to write poems about specific places and then created the map. 1 Castro Luna is also interested in the intersection of poetry and music.

The Seattle Symphony asked to do a collaboration with her where she created poetry inspired by Charles Ives’ Holiday Symphony. Each movement in this symphony is themed for a particular holiday. She read the poem she created for the Thanksgiving piece, in which she sampled from Abraham Lincoln’s speech establishing Thanksgiving as a holiday and from a speech Cesar Chavez made at the end of a fasting protest. She also plans to do a performance of “Killing María” set to

music and read by four voices in the coming year.

I’m thankful to have gotten the opportunity to hear her speak about her creative process and inspirations and to hear her read her poetry. If you get the chance, try to hear her or buy one of her three poetry books. Castro Luna will continue to tour Washington throughout the rest of this month. You can check her readings at this website, wapoetlaureate.org/events/, or buy her books at www.castroluna.com/category/books/.

1 seattlepoeticgrid.com/

Hannah Thiel is an art major.

college place, wa, walla walla university

Sunday Fun Walk/Run @ WEC North Entrance, 7:30 a.m. to 8:30 a.m.

20th Annual Alumni Car Show @ Havstad Alumni Center Parking Lot, 10 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Horn Recital @ FAC Auditorium, 4 p.m. to 5:30 p.m.

National Zipper Day National Pet Parents Day

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1

Monday

Gay Waldman Enhanced Photographic Art exhibit @ Wenaha Gallery, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.

Art Quilts by Catherine Little @ Wenaha Gallery, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.

Tuesday

Historical Tour of Walla Walla @ WWU Church, 1 p.m.

Voice Student Recital: “Bernstein at 100” @ FAC Auditorium, 7:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.

Is This Thing On: Student Forum @ FAC, 8 p.m. to 9 p.m.

National Bubble Tea Day National Oatmeal Cookie Day National Honesty Day

T-Waffle Tuesday @ ASWWU Offices, 8-10 a.m.

May Day National Chocolate Parfait Day

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| April 2018 Issue 22

page 7

Wednesday

Christian-based Grief Group Support for Adults @ WW Community Hospice, 10 a.m. to 11:30 a.m.

Children’s Storytime @ Plaza Library, 11:30 a.m to 12:15 p.m.

Healthy Eating on a Budget @ SonBridge Community Center, 6 p.m. to 7 p.m.

National Truffle Day National Life Insurance Day

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OUTDOORS RUUD REMARKS

Sleep or No Sleep: A Case Study

By Niqolas Ruud According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, sleep—along with things such as food, air and water—is of the utmost importance to a human’s existence. 1 The National Sleep Foundation says that “70 million Americans are affected by chronic sleep disorders and intermittent sleep problems that can significantly diminish health, alertness and safety…. Sleep problems can take many forms and can involve too little sleep, too much sleep or inadequate quality of sleep.” 2 Recently, I was added to the number, making it 70,000,001 Americans who have some semblance of at least an intermittent sleep problem. You see, this spring break, my much-needed sleep was of a drastically-inadequate quality.

It was the Friday morning after

winter quarter finals, and my road trip buddies—let’s call them Teeler and Masson—and I had been up since 8:00 or so the previous morning.[3] We had just pulled into an Albertsons parking lot in St. George, Utah, at around 5:30 in the dreaded a.m. I, for one, was very sleepy, as was Teeler. However, Masson, who usually likes to hit the hay at around 9:00 p.m. each evening, had somehow caught his second wind and was wide awake. It was still dark, and Teeler was on his mobile device looking for a nice patch of nearby public land for us to take a snooze on. Having driven the entire 13 hours from wonderful Walla Walla all on his own, Teeler was more than ecstatic to count sheep from the backseat of his Honda CRV. Sooner rather than later (although it felt more like later), Teeler found some Bureau of Land Management

(BLM) land only a short drive away.

Seeing as he had driven the past 843 miles, he didn’t think 0.8 more would really hurt all that much—and truth be told, they didn’t; he drove all 0.8 miles in style!

When we arrived at the BLM land, the sunshine had already began to permeate the horizon. I quickly exited the vehicle and proceded to toss my ground pad and sleeping bag down onto the reddish-clay ground. I zipped up my jackets, then proceeded to do the same with my sleeping bag. Lastly, I took out my hat and covered my eyes with it. “Finally,” I thought, “after 13 hours of trying to stay awake so that I could keep Teeler awake, I get to sleep.”

What seemed to happen only moments later will forever be ingrained in my mind. A voice, faint at first but gaining volume at an aggressive rate,

An example of what sleep deprivation can make you do. (NIQOLAS RUUD)

Another example of sleep deprivation. (NIQOLAS RUUD) filled the crisp morning air. I rolled over, trying in earnest to cease the dreadful sound—but to no avail.

Eventually, after removing the hat from my eyes, working to open them to the light of day and unzipping the sleeping bags and jackets, I began to realize the horrid voice was that of my good friend Masson. He was pacing back and forth, between my bivy spot and that of Teeler’s in the car—I suppose, to release some pent-up energy from the 13 hour car ride.

“Niq, wake up!” he said in a playful voice. “It’s time to go climbing!”

My eyes, unaccustomed to the vibrance of the sun, wandered, looking for Masson. I picked up a clump of hard clay and threw it in what I thought was the direction of my perpetrator but was actually towards the CRV. Again, Masson’s voice pierced my ears with his, “Wake up, Niq, it’s time to go!” and his, “I’m so bored right now, c’mon guys, wake up.”

This exchange continued for nearly two hours: Masson would speak up just as my promise of sleep began to turn into something more concrete.

We had gone to bed at 6:00 a.m., and I could not fathom why Masson wanted Teeler and myself up at 9:30! How was he even this wide awake!?

For the remainder of the weekand-a-half-long-trip, I plotted to make Masson a cup of coffee and lace it with some crushed Melatonin pills, then keep him awake by yelling about how much I wanted him to stop being sleepy so that we could go climbing at 9:30 p.m., 30 minutes past his gosh-darned bedtime! I also considered putting a cactus or two down in the bottom of his

sleeping bag so as to irritate his little toes before bed one night when he was quite obviously tired.

Those options both seemed too harsh, so instead I settled with reminding him of his waking-me-up mistake on an hourly basis.

Remember what the National Sleep Foundation said about sleep disorders? It is quite apparent that Masson, in waking Teeler and myself up so early in the morning after only 3.5 hours of sound sleep, risked significantly diminishing our health, alertness and safety—all three of which are needed to climb, no matter the time of day.

In conclusion, the next time your buddy wants you to wake up to go climbing only a few hours after you went to bed, please show him or her the research, along with this article, to keep their boredom at bay for at least five minutes, so that you can enjoy the great outdoors not only healthfully and alertly but also safely. https://www.simplypsychology.org/ maslow.html https://sleepfoundation.org/sleep-topics/ sleep-studies The names of those involved have been changed to protect their identities.

Niqolas Ruud is a religious studies major.

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April 2018 Issue 22 | walla walla university | college place, wa

SUBMISSION DEAR COLLEGIAN

A Response to the Whitman Swap Issue Point of clarification: last week’s feature article was actually a submission from one of The Wire’s writers at Whitman College.

Although the author of this letter did not ask to remain anonymous, we at The Collegian have decided to keep his name confidential in order to protect him from retaliation.

Dear Collegian, Last week, you had an article about “Western Wedding University” in which you talked about how Walla Walla University is known for its marriage rate. You gave two examples of couples who were happily married, and, while you did point out that this marriage rate is not always the case, I would like to suggest that you are sending the wrong message. I am a junior and have been at WWU for three years. In this timespan, I have been left broken-hearted multiple times. Love isn’t all great— it’s a terrible disease. “Why?” you may ask. Because so many times a guy finds a university girl interesting, only for her to not even look in his direction.

ADVICE DEAR BABA

Bye, Baba After consulting with a professor and much deliberation on my own part, I have decided to stop publishing my Dear Baba column in The Collegian. My intention was to educate others about Ukraine in a light-hearted way, but a few have raised the concern that this may be coming at the expense of others; This is not what I want. To those that responded, thank you for your concern. To those that are still interested in reading my advice, I will be moving my writing to a blog as I would still like to inform others about my heritage.

You can find me at justaskbaba.wordpress.com. Thank you for reading.

(FINANCIAL TIMES)

I’ve talked with friends about this idea, and they all have come to a simple consensus: having a relationship isn’t about the values held by two people.

If you think relationships and love are about what’s on the inside, you are deeply mistaken. Guys get so much hate and anger from society because they objectify women. They supposedly only date women they find attractive on the outside, even when there are plenty of girls who are sweet on the inside.

I hate to break it to you, but girls do this, too. I grew up thinking girls were great. I grew up with the preconceived idea that girls like a man who is a gentleman, who cares about them, who listens to them and who thinks about them because of what is on the inside… that is, until I came to WWU. It was here at this grand “Western Wedding University” that I thought I could do it. I never once dated in high school, believing that I should wait until I matured more. I came to WWU hearing about how great the girls are—how the girls are okay with being friends with guys and like to talk to

guys, how they always mean what they say. However, three years later, I’m still finding that to be a false idea.

I tried everything my friends were doing: I’d try to talk to girls in my classes, at social events and after vespers. However, it seemed like they were just interested in wasting time.

My friends (both men and women) began to give me advice I had never gotten before: girls are only interested in what’s on the outside. If you want girls to be attracted to you, if you want them to actually spend time with you, you have to wear the right clothes and go to the gym. You have to do everything they want, without them even saying anything. I was devastated by this response. Never before had I ever been told this. Personally, I wouldn’t mind doing anything to change if I only knew the girl was interested in me. As it turns out, it is a huge gamble. I have a friend getting married. He said it took him two years to change before the girl even gave him the time of day. Guys have to do everything before the girl finds them interesting. What if you’re

strapped for cash and can’t afford the nicest car or a whole wardrobe change?

Well, you’re out of luck.

I’ve grown to resent articles that never bring this problem up. However, if you ever look in any dating books, within the first couple of chapters you will find that girls will not date a guy who only looks adequate. They don’t care that he works hard for his grades. What seems to be the case is that a guy’s looks determine how girls will perceive him. This won’t change no matter what. I’ve known too many guys who are some of the nicest guys on the planet but can’t get girls to care about them. I’ve wasted too much time waiting for a girl who says she’ll be there, only to get that last-minute message: “Sorry, can’t make it. I forgot.”

Think I’m stressing this too much?

Well, I can say that girls don’t even seem interested in being friends with guys they don’t find attractive. I’ve had many, many times where I talk to a girl for weeks and just try to be friends. I don’t ask them out, and I don’t insinuate that I’m looking for anything. All I try to do

is make friends, but girls are so quick to say, “I have a boyfriend.” That’s good and well, don’t get me wrong, but, even those who don’t have a boyfriend won’t even talk to a guy who says he likes them. The minute that idea comes up, it’s like friendship suicide.

All I am saying is if you are going to write articles that make relationships seem “so lovely and happy,” you should also have an equal number of articles telling how terrible it can be. Girls are just as shallow as guys. Maybe junior and senior guys go for girls of freshman or sophomore status, not because there are no attractive girls in senior or junior level but rather because they don’t give the guys a chance.

UPDATES

Pastor Alex Bryan Accepts Position as Administrative Director for Mission Identity for Adventist Health *The following article was published on WWU’s official university website on April 13.

Alex Bryan, senior pastor at the Walla Walla University Church, has been named administrative director for mission identity for Adventist Health.

While continuing to be present at the church through the end of the school year, his transition will begin April 30.

Bryan will develop and lead Adventist Health’s strategy around alignment to mission, spiritual care, church and faith community relations, and theological and ethical foundations of mission.

“I’ve sensed over the past few months that ‘there is a time and season for everything under heaven,’ and the season for this change has seemed timely,” says Bryan. “Though I am saddened to depart a role that I have enjoyed, I’m thrilled that the Bryan family will remain as residents of College Place and members of the Walla Walla University Church. My Adventist Health work allows me to continue to work in the realm of ministry and our

family to continue to live in this community that we adore.”

Bryan became senior pastor of the University Church in 2009. In April 2013 he was named president of Kettering College in Kettering, Ohio, where he served for one year. He returned to the University Church in 2014 and continued to expand ministry programs and successful renewal projects.

Strengthening the church’s connection with the university was a strategic focus for Bryan, and his contributions have extended well beyond the pulpit.

He served on the president’s Cabinet and championed initiatives to help prepare university students for mission and ministry around the world. A popular professor, he has taught classes for the university’s honors program and schools of business and theology.

“Alex, who is greatly appreciated

by Walla Walla University’s students, has fostered an extremely supportive partnership between church and campus,” says John McVay, Walla Walla University president. “The

Longest Table, a wonderful tradition he inaugurated, symbolizes that valuable relationship.”

Active in our local community, Bryan serves on the Rogers Adventist School Board, SonBridge Community Board, and Providence St. Mary Board Patient and Provider Experience Committee. He is a member of the Upper Columbia Conference Executive Committee and the North American Division of Seventh-day Adventists Pastoral Advisory and Executive Committees. He also served on the Walla Walla General Hospital Community Board and as co-chair and presenter for the One Project. He is author of The Green Cord Dream, which explores the purpose and possibility for Adventist Christianity in the 21st century.

Darold Bigger, head elder at the University Church, says, “For nearly a decade our pastor has been a vigorous and positive influence. His superb sermons challenged us to apply biblical principles to our contemporary lives, motivated increased involvement in

community agencies and activities, contributed to a significantly enlarged media ministry, and gathered a growing and loyal following. His commitment to women in ministry (we now have three on our pastoral staff), artistic and architectural beauty (he fostered significant improvements to our physical plant inside and out), and active participation in campus life endeared him to thousands. We’re very glad he and his family are staying in our valley and that he will continue to be part of our community.”

Bryan graduated from Southern Adventist University in 1993 with majors in history and religion. He then earned a Master of Divinity degree from Andrews University in 1996 and a doctoral degree in ministry from George Fox University in 2009. He and his wife, Nicole, have two children, Audrey and William.

POLL YOUR RESPONSES

Should students have access to results from campus-wide university surveys they are asked to participate in?

YES 90.2%

NO 9.8%

If answers aren’t published it makes it seem like there was something to hide.

The university should only conduct polls via Twitter.

I think if students can see the results from surveys they are asked to participate in they can see how those results are used, and how they affect their daily lives. If students were convinced that their answers mattered, they would be more likely to participate in more campus-wide polls.

Think of two men. One sends you a shirtless picture of himself on the beach, and the other one just sends a dick pic. One is obviously more exciting than the other. You should keep the full results of surveys private. Nobody wants to see everything.

When asking someone to invest their time and attention to complete a survey, the results should most definitely be available. Common courtesy.

We deserve to know what us students responses are and where we all “sit” with different issues.

51 total responses

Next week’s question:

Do you think the university is adequately addressing substance abuse issues on campus?

https://goo.gl/cRKhDm