The End of DACA and the Fight for a New Dream | Vol. 102, Issue 04

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Ne w s p a p e r o f Wa l l a Wa l l a U n i v e r s i t y

Collegian

“Since I’m actually in the Collegian room on Collegian night for the first time in my life, I kinda’ want to know what all these people are doing.”

The

Volume 102 | Issue 04

Balloon Stampede pg. 6

-Tim Kosaka, ASWWU Social VP

October 19, 2017

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Last Things First college place, wa | walla walla university

| October 2017 Issue

The Sandbox Incident By: Meghann Heinrich

Uncle: driver, father of Cousin

Any Pathfinders¹ in the house? Not me; in fact I never was. Oddly enough, though raised as an Adventist pastor’s kid, I never partook of the ol’ Pathfinders. Not officially anyway. I did make the occasional appearance at various Pathfinder events—enough to pick up a few bars of the Pathfinders song and participate in at least one pine car derby. Despite my disinterest in club life, every five years my family made the journey to Oshkosh for the International Camporee,² which brings me to August 2009, the year of The Sandbox Incident.

Cousin: young child in the throes of potty training

Transportation from Grizzly Flats, Calif. to Oshkosh,Wis. can take many forms. For my family it looked like five people in a rental car, crossing state lines and taking names. The key players in this story are as follows:

Shower Thoughts “I am Beyonce always.” - Michael Scott

“Quesadillas are just burritos with only cheese.” - Kyra GreyEyes “When I cut myself shaving I feel like I’m in the movie “Psycho.” - Daniella Silva

Friend: other driver and long time family friend Sister: older sister, voice of reason then and now Me: 13-year-old Meghann, and like most 13 year olds, not really a critical thinker Road trips are fun, but we all know there are limits. We reached ours in record time. Thirty plus hours of driving time is enough to break even the most seasoned road tripper. It’s cramped, the alphabet game turns into a fist fight and next thing you know you’re surreptitiously stealing Gerber baby snacks from your little cousin and praying he doesn’t snitch on you.

Generally speaking, Cousin did a great job alerting the powers that be of his bathroom needs. However, once the signal was given we never knew if we had 30 seconds or 10 minutes to find the appropriate facilities. I can vividly recall flying down the road at highway speeds when the heart stopping, “Daddy I have to go!” was screamed and suddenly we were stopped at the side of the road, frantically trying to unbuckle the child, when Uncle heroically picked Cousin and car seat up together and thrust them outside of the vehicle to sort things out. What a guy. After a harrowing all-night drive we happened upon a huge Cabela’s sporting goods store. We happily wandered around the store in a stupor. It had a huge aquarium and a veritable zoo of animals3 that Cousin seemed to enjoy. Outside there was a picnic

table and a lovely playground to get the wiggles out. We decided to have a picnic lunch right there and sort of regroup before buckling in for another long haul. My assignment was to take Cousin to the playground while the rest set up lunch—a standard supervision job. Cousin and I were having fun, just doing the classic playground thing when he said, “Meghann, I have to go.” In my sleep-deprived state I wisely chose to ignore whatever was said to me and continued swinging. It hit me 30 seconds too late. There was Cousin, squatting in the sandbox, taking matters into his own little hands. I had to hand it to him—the kid didn’t waste time. I bolted to Uncle. “We have a situation; if we hurry we might be able to save it,” I said. It was too late—the deed had been done. Uncle told us to load up in a hurry—no time for our picnic

Verbatim “There must be little gremlins in the air.” –Professor David Lindsey, on why experiments don’t always work

lunch. We had sullied our name, and he thought it best to get out of Dodge before the word got out. Back in the car, things were tense. It seemed the general consensus was that The Sandbox Incident was somehow my fault. In an effort to smooth things over I said, “Give it a few years and we will all be laughing about this!” Sister said, “Meghann, be quiet.” Friend said nothing. Uncle said, “Guess we can just eat on the road then.” Cousin said, “I have to go!” 1. The Adventist version of the boys and girls scouts. 2. which takes place in Oshkosh, Wiscosin 3. Granted, they were taxidermied as a part of the hunting display.

Weekly Funnies Hey! What can’t you eat for breakfast? *sigh* What?

“So he’s basically saying that Plato was a hater.” -Professor Timothy Golden “Adventism is like manure. Pile us up, we stink. Spread us out, we become useful” -Professor Pedrito Maynard-Reid “Quote this! *puts bucket on head*” -Professor Pablo Wenceslao

Lunch and dinner!

“The Walla Walla General Hospital said—well, they dont say anything anymore.” -Professor Nancy Semotiuk “The secret to a good mustache? Jalapeños.” -Pastor José Rojas Email your faculty verbatim or shower thoughts to meghann.heinrich@wallawalla.edu to be featured!

© 2017 KYRA GREYEYES


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