Issue 9 by The Collegian

Ne w s p a p e r o f Wa l l a Wa l l a U n i v e r s i t y

Collegian The

Volume 102 | Issue 09

‘How do you Celebrate?’ pg. 5

“Did you know that the day before Christmas Eve is Christmas Adam? ” -Adam Hagele

December 7, 2017

Last Things First college place, wa | walla walla university

| December 2017 Issue 9

Holido’s and Don’ts by Meghann Heinrich Dear friends, you are in the home stretch. Thanksgiving is behind you, and just a few more dark days stand between you and the glorious light of Christmas break. Let there be rejoicing in the streets! Christmas: she comes to take you back to the land of homemade food and homework-free nights. Treat her right and respect her, lest you take her for granted. Aside from catching up on neglected TV shows and friendships, Christmas break is prime family time. Navigating family gatherings can be tricky business, but fear not! I’ve developed a semi-comprehensive list of holiday do’s and don’ts, complete with real-life scenarios taken directly from my own experience and from the experiences of those who came before me. It may be too late for us, but you are young. Take what we have learned, and do better.

Hey Thanks! Thank you Christmas Tree Lighting, for promising us cookies, luring us out into the cold, and then not having cookies. Thank you Foreman and Conard Hall custodial for conspiring to clean all the bathrooms at the same time so no one can relieve themselves around 10:53 a.m. Thank you flu shots for showing me just how brave I’m not. Thank you Christmas music for bringing Michael Buble’s buttery vocals out of hiding.

Scene 1: You’ve just arrived at your relatives’ house. There is a lot of greeting and hugging going on, and, in the fray, your much-loved but not-really-a-hugger uncle is standing to the side. Do: say hello and offer a fist bump or holiday pun. Don’t: go in for the side hug and switch it up halfway through. This will leave your free hand resting on his tummy and your head in his armpit, which is not good. You’ve already made it clear you are innately bad at the casual side hug, but let me tell you, the situation will get infinitely worse if you start to pat his tummy with your rogue hand. At this point you only have one option: stop, drop and roll. Scene 2: Your Grammie just trundled into your room to ask if she can take the hand soap from your sink into the shower with her. Do: offer a less weird alternative, like using the soap that is already in the shower. Don’t: ask for further information; if the woman

would rather use hand soap than shampoo, she has earned that right. Scene 3: As usual, the oldest member of the family is asked to say grace over the feast that everyone has been fasting for. After much ado, everyone is seated and waiting for the blessing. Grammie launches into her prayer. It is getting lengthy, and the pauses between words are getting longer than normal. You sneak a peek, and your suspicions are confirmed: Grammie is cruisin’ for a snoozin’. Do: start eating quietly. They say that the bread is an appetizer anyway, and someone is bound to wake her eventually. Don’t: poke Grammie. Scene 4: It is Christmas Day, and you are at the dinner table. The inevitable question of whether or not you are romantically involved is raised. Your face blushes, not because you are embarrassed, but because in the

panic of the moment your body’s only defense is to camouflage with the red curtains behind you. Your ever-so-helpful cousin points out the new hue. Do: tactfully redirect conversation to difficult questions no one knows the answer to: “Good question, you know what is an even better question? Does a one-legged duck swim in a circle?” Don’t: yell “Fake news!” and crawl under the table. Scene 5: You are meeting your significant other’s family for the first time—and at Christmas, no less. You did your research and watched a few Hallmark movies to get some pointers from the professionals.You are feeling the pressure, but you came prepared with a hostess gift in hand. The parents open the door, and you put on your most dazzling smile. Do: shake hands and give your token gift, thanking them for their hospitality. Don’t: lead with “I’m a big fan of your work.”

Scene 6: The family is getting restless. You’ve been cooped up in close quarters for too long, and if that energy isn’t dispelled soon, someone’s mother is going to have a cow. Do: take in your town’s holiday events. Parades and Christmas light drives are always a crowd favorite. Don’t: arrive at what you thought would be a family-friendly Christmas production downtown just in time to see an inebriated Santa fall off a roof. Now you have all the tools you could possibly need for a stress-free holiday season. No, there is no need to thank me. It is thanks enough knowing I’ve made a difference.

Verbatim “You know one of the reasons why I want an iPhone X? Because you can animate the poop.” -Professor Chris Drake “Friends, can we be oozier please?” -Professor Kraig Scott “Alright, enough about philosophy and popcorn.” -Professor Jackson “Post-modernism is the bastard child of design eras.” -Professor Pablo Wenceslao “If you count all the windows on campus, it is 666.” -Professor Tim Tiffin “Once you get a job, you are just paid to be opinionated.” -Professor Bryce Cole Email your faculty verbatim or thank yous to meghann.heinrich@wallawalla.edu to be featured!

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December 2017 Issue 9 | walla walla university | college place, wa

Editor-in-Chief Daniella Silva

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Copy Editors Geoffery Lopes Karli Hart Jocelyn Griffin

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Backpage Editor Meghann Heinrich Head Copy Editor Brielle Tym Cover | Sophie Bailey

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Office Manager Victoria Ico Distributer Sydney Peck Beau Gerber

Feature Michael Jensen Jake Sloop Opinion Parker Bailey Savanna Pardo Food & Culture Daphne Novak Hannah Theil Media & Tech Matt Fennell Outdoor Niqolas Ruud Science Forrest Sheperd History Zachary White Religion Peter Flores The opinions of our writers do not necessarily reflect the views of The Collegian or Walla Walla University.

Advertising Manager Amanda Maizar

EDITOR’S NOTE

Daniella Silva Dear Reader, Merry (almost) Christmas! There are only a few more days until you can stop pretending you care more about school than having fun and begin fully celebrating the holiday season. While you may not be able to relax yet, there have already been a variety of Christmas parties around campus and in the community. ASWWU Social has had an event every night this week, and don’t forget all the club and departmental Christmas parties! To reward ourselves for completing our first quarter as a newspaper team, members of The Collegian staff visited several different Christmas parties and recorded some highlights of each. Hopefully these brief highlights about how other people are enjoying the Christmas season more than you right now will give you enough holiday spirit to pull through these last few days of cramming, stressing and general anxiety-inducing activity. In addition to these fun party facts, our feature this week celebrates the diversity of student holiday celebrations in the Walla Walla area. Specifically, our feature writer, Jake Sloop, interviewed a Whitman fraternity house member about the different Christmas traditions

on their campus – or lack thereof. You can read the full report on page 5. Because this is the last issue of the year, we don’t have a regular poll. However, answer our question on page 8 to be entered into a draw for a $25 Amazon gift card! Winners will be decided over Christmas break and will be able to pick up their prize when we return in January. In addition to the impending Christmas holidays, Walla Walla University will be celebrating its 125th birthday on Thursday. Other than the general awesomeness of having 8 a.m. classes cancelled for birthday celebrations, there will be parties happening throughout the day, culminating in a parade down College Avenue and a fireworks show. For a complete schedule of events, see pages 6 and 7. As usual, if you have any comments, questions or concerns, you can send me an email at aswwu.collegian@ wallawalla.edu. I hope you all have a snazzy Christmas Vacation, and we’ll see you all again in January!

O furybedecked! O glitter-torn! Let the wild wind erect bonbonbonanzas; junipers affect frostyfreeze turbans; iciclestuff adorn all cuckolded creation in a madcap crown of horn! It’s a new day; no scapegrace of a sect tidying up the ashtrays playing Daughter-in-Law Elect; bells! bibelots! popsicle cigars! shatter the glassware! a son born now now while ox and ass and infant lie together as poor creatures will and tears of her exertion still cling in the spent girl’s eye and a great firework in the sky drifts to the western hill.

-George Starbuck

MEDIA + TECH November 15, 2017

Crabs For Christmas The Story of My Favorite Christmas Song By Matt Fennell What you’re about to read is something a little different. I’ll just start by saying that I spent a lot of time writing a list of all of my favorite holiday-related things. 1 I was in the process of tying that list together with some thoughts on “Justice League," some jokes about what’s been going on in my life and a nice heartfelt holiday message, 2 when I had the idea to try to get in touch with David DeBoy, a television, film and voice actor from Baltimore who’s appeared in the “quintessential” pieces of Maryland media (“The Wire,” a John Waters movie, a Bethesda Elder Scrolls game, etc). Most importantly, for this article at least, DeBoy also happens to be the man behind my favorite Christmas song from back home, “Crabs for Christmas”. 3 I figured it would be neat to see if DeBoy would give a short comment about his song for my list, so I did a quick Google search, found his contact information and shot off an email, not really expecting to hear back. But a few hours later, Mr. DeBoy emailed back and said he’d be willing to talk to me about his song. We scheduled a time for a call, and I worked up a few light questions, figuring that we’d talk for maybe 15 minutes tops, but boy oh boy, that was not the way things went. I’d never really done an interview before this and wasn’t exactly sure what to do, but Mr. DeBoy took my nervously stuttered out questions and transformed them into almost a full hour of stories about his career and the creation of “Crabs for Christmas." I think it’s all pretty neat, and I’m excited to share it with you. So, before we start, hop onto

YouTube, search “Crabs for Christmas," and enjoy that masterpiece as you read just how it came to be. I began the interview by asking Mr. DeBoy how he got involved in acting and performing in the first place. He explained that it had always been something that was a part of his life. As a kid, he’d put on plays in the backyard with his brothers and charged the neighbor kids to see their slapstick routines, usually cribbed from “The Three Stooges." On top of these backyard performances and various appearances in school plays, DeBoy grew up with multiple relatives on his mother’s side who were artists and performers, so the performing arts were always a part of his life. When it came time to go to college, he decided not to go for a major in theater because it just didn’t seem practical. “And besides,” he said, “I figured I already knew how to act.” DeBoy instead decided to go for a degree in communications at Towson State, where he became involved in both the radio and television programs the school offered. Towson’s program was small and needed people to fill positions, so he gained experience all across the board. After college, he went on to work at “pretty much every television station in Baltimore" and spent some time at WBAL-TV working as the operations director. After a while working behind the scenes, he decided that he wanted to start performing again, so he took a night job at a community theater and worked on booking commercial gigs on TV and radio during the day. This period of frequent freelance work positioned DeBoy to take a job, of all places, an amusement park.

ASWWU JOBS Start the new quarter with a new job Layout Designer - The Collegian Tear Down Specialist(s) - Social Event Coordinator(s) - Social Halftime Coordinators - Social

“I was doing jingles," said DeBoy, “kind of weird ones.” Businesses would call him to sing their commercial jingles, but with some sort of novelty twist, like, “Sing this one as a cow.” Doing these jingles led to DeBoy’s realization that he enjoyed the process of singing along to recorded tracks and, as a result, he got connected with someone at The Enchanted Forest, a now-defunct amusement park outside of Baltimore. DeBoy was hired to write the music for an audio animatronic show that the park was developing. As he worked alongside a musician named Brent Hardesty to write and record the music for the show, the two had so much fun that they decided to work together on a personal project once the job was done. What they decided to produce, as with DeBoy’s major, came down to DeBoy’s desire for practicality. He figured that a Christmas song would probably sell well, a Baltimore-themed Christmas song would sell even better and a Baltimore-themed Christmas song about crabs 4 would sell best of all. “So I came up with the name ‘Crabs for Christmas’ before I even wrote the song.” The two got to work, with DeBoy humming out a melody while Hardesty sat at the piano, fleshing out those hums and turning them into a full song. When they were finished, a colleague who produced commercials agreed to do the production work on the song for free. DeBoy assembled a group of his friends to act as back-up singers and spent just a day in the studio, recording his goofy Christmas carol about a guy who misses the Christmas traditions and steamed crabs from his beloved hometown of Baltimore. DeBoy brought the finished 16-track master

SENATE

tape up to New Jersey and had 10,000 vinyl singles pressed, figuring that those 10,000 would probably last him a couple years, at least. He lugged the boxes up into his apartment and set to work calling local stations, trying to get them to put “Crabs for Christmas” on the air. Back in the day, most stations in the Baltimore area were small, family-run affairs, so the trick was just calling around until he could get a station manager, “usually a local boy who I knew," to agree to let him come in and play the single. A few of the stations really liked it but expressed a concern to DeBoy. He explained, “At the time, you didn’t really hear that ‘baltimorese’ accent 5 on the radio … and the stations were afraid that people would think they were being made fun of. But it was all just poking fun in love.” Some of the stations agreed to pick up the single, and when the 1981 Christmas season rolled around, some of the area’s AM stations added “Crabs for Christmas” to their rotation. Sure enough, it caught on. People loved it. DeBoy said, “They’d hear it while they were on the way to work in the morning and then call the FM stations to request it while they were at the office.” DeBoy got hooked up with a distributor, and within the year he had sold not only all 10,000 of his singles but also an additional 2,000 that he had pressed. “I was amazed,” he said. “I’d figured it would be on the air for the year, if I got lucky.” Now, almost 40 years later, “Crabs for Christmas” is still around. Every year, most of the radio stations in and around Baltimore still put it into their Christmas music rotation, and over the years DeBoy

has performed his song for various TV specials, in parades, at monument dedications and even once accompanied by opera singers. In my opinion, it’s stuck around mostly because it captures a feeling that I think many of us can relate to at this time of year: missing your home around the holidays. When I moved out here for college, it was tough being so far from home, knowing that a lot of our family traditions were happening without me. Ridiculous as it is, I think “Crabs for Christmas” condenses at least the feeling of the things that I miss about Christmas in Maryland and allows me to enjoy them with all the new friends I’ve made, all the way out here in Walla Walla. So, as I close this article, the last one I’ll write in 2017, I’m thankful that I’ve gotten to share this song with all of you, as well. Thanks for reading, good luck with finals, be safe as you head home and have a wonderful holiday season. See you next year! 1 Daniella, more words please. 2 You can find this list on page 8 of this issue. 3 The food crabs. Not the other type.

4 According to the “Maryland Manual On-Line” available at Maryland.gov, Callinectes sapidus, or the Chesapeake Blue Crab, is Maryland’s state crustacean. It performs a double function as a thing that most Marylanders like to eat and as a symbol that we use to identify ourselves. It’s pretty great. 5 If you don’t know what this is, there’s a pretty great video on ESPN of Scott Van Pelt busting out the accent to bring another anchor pretty much to tears. Just Google “Scott Van Pelt ESPN Baltimore accent” and enjoy!

Matt Fennell is a computer engineering major.

G.L. 2 - Social Vice President Duties Updates the duties of the Social VP in the bylaws by Tim Kosaka F.L. 7 - Tables for Student Life Allows $1300 of the Campus Improvement Fund to be used to buy folding tables for the campus by Tim Kosaka

college place, wa, walla walla university

| December 2017 Issue 9

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SCIENCE DR. TOM EKKENS

Making Physics Affordable By Forrest Sheperd When you think about scientific instruments used by physicists and other scientists such as scanning tunneling microscopes (STM) or scanning electron microscopes (SEM), you probably think of several things, which likely boil down to “really complicated” and “really expensive,” and a lot of the time, you’d be right. This cost barrier is something that WWU physics professor and Chair of the Physics Department Dr. Tom Ekkens realized. Equipment with a huge price tag may be fun to use for those with tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars, but most people cannot afford these instruments and the understanding that comes along with them. Before we learn how Dr. Ekkens is working to change this right now, let’s hear about how he came to be a physicist. While going to academy near Nairobi, Kenya, young Tom Ekkens would often ask questions in his math classes, which were then followed by the response, “that’s physics.” He figured that if all the questions he had about the universe had to do with physics, then he’d better become a physicist! From about his sophomore year in high school, he knew what he wanted to do. Unfortunately, his academy had no physics classes. It wasn’t until his undergrad at Andrews University that he took a physics class. His graduate work was done at the University of Notre Dame, where he helped to develop a STM shortly after a Nobel prize was given for the technology a few years before. 1 STMs don’t use optics like a traditional microscope but rather use the behavior of electrons to map atoms with an accuracy of around 0.1 nanometers, 2 which is smaller than many atoms. 3 After helping to build this microscope, Dr. Ekkens then used it to understand how current flows through particles as they get smaller and smaller. What is something that needs current to flow through it as fast as possible in as small of a device as possible? Computer chips. Dr. Ekkens worked with extremely pure metals as small as 5-40 atoms across, whereas the

wires in most computer chips today are between 100 and 250 atoms across. 4 In general, the smaller the wires in a chip, the faster it will work. 5 With today’s technology, it is not feasible to produce a computer chip with wires as small as Dr. Ekkens worked with, but computer chips are getting smaller and faster every year. Usually, the flow of an electrical current through a material is very predictable; however, as particles get very small, the flow becomes different for each material and thus unpredictable. This effect, called the Coulomb blockade, can interfere with the flow of electrons through the wires on a computer chip. Part of Dr. Ekkens’ research involved discovering at what particle size this occurs in different materials and telling scientists and computer chip manufacturers how small their wires can be before this effect will occur. Dr. Ekkens’ graduate dissertation explored whether the characteristic “stairstep” shape of the relationship between current and voltage on a material can be changed A scanning electron microscope (SEM). (UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA) predictably by an external force, such around 10 years developing a design try work to make this technology as inas temperature or magnetic field, to be and having his nanotechnology class expensive as possible to show the rest used as a memory storage method. This attempt to build it every other year. of the world the hidden wonders that was believed to have the potential a The success of their attempts has can be explored with this technology? very small memory storage device. His served as a trial phase for the building He decided to help the larger portion of graduate research concluded that none method for those without an extensive humanity have access to this technoloof these external changes will change background in this technology. Using gy rather than just the rich. the staircase so that memory could this feedback method, Dr. Ekkens has be stored on it. The feasibility of other Leaving his previous endeavors berefined the process so well that his ways to store memory on the Coulomb hind, Dr. Ekkens began this new chapstudents have been quite successful in staircase is still being researched today. ter of his life right here at WWU, where building their own STMs! This process he set out to discover just how he can After he received his Ph.D., Dr. was published in a scientific journal make this technology more accessible Ekkens started a job with a company two years ago 6 and has likely resulted to students. Using the knowledge he developing their own SEM. However, in many projects across the world. He had gained through his education in after a couple years in this industry, occasionally receives calls from schools physics, as well as through working to he became increasingly annoyed with with questions, leading to further redevelop this technology professionally, the fact that only those with many finement of the process, which is kept he attempted to take extremely expenthousands of dollars could afford these updated online. 7 sive technology and break it down to instruments. Even worse, students in Although this is perhaps his its fundamental pieces to build it with grade schools, high schools or colleges primary project, Dr. Ekkens continues the cheapest materials possible. He has in many parts of the world would not to replace a variety of traditionally been very successful! have access to expensive equipment expensive technology by developing which might greatly enhance the qualiHis primary project has involved affordable building methods that may ty of their learning experience. taking the STM technology he built only require parts from places like over five years in graduate school for Dr. Ekkens then faced a dilemHome Depot or Walmart or parts that about $50,000 in parts and the same ma. Should he continue developing can be 3D printed from downloadable amount in labor, and make it possiextremely expensive scientific equipfiles. Those who have tried to identible to build in three afternoons with ment, attempting to push the boundarfy the colorful pattern seen through a couple hundred dollars. He spent ies of human knowledge? Or, should he a spectrometer know that it can be tedious and frustrating, and human measurements can be inaccurate. That problem is why instruments are built to measure the colorful lines caused by light diffraction with software. Despite the technology behind these devices being relatively simple, they can cost hundreds or thousands of dollars. 8 This is why Dr. Ekkens has designed a “SpectraCam” using PVC pipe from Home Depot, a webcam from China and a few cents’ worth of

A scanning electron microscope (SEM). (UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA)

diffraction paper from eBay, which can identify chemical composition using free software. This project is also kept updated online. 9 Scientific technology such as the STM can be one of the greatest ways, and also most expensive, to learn about the universe. This cost creates a barrier of learning that most people in the world can’t cross, making them dependent on those with money to tell them about the other side. Dr. Ekkens has a unique combination of years of experience developing this technology and a passion for helping others learn about the universe, which help him make this technology accessible to exponentially more people than before. 1 “The Nobel Prize in Physics 1986.” Nobelprize.org. Nobel Media AB 2014. Web. 24 Nov 2017. <http:// www.nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/physics/laureates/1986/> 2 Bai, Chunli. Scanning Tunneling Microscopy and Its Application. Shanghai, Springer, 2000. 3 Elert, Glenn. “Diameter of an Atom.” Diameter of an Atom - The Physics Factbook, hypertextbook. com/facts/1996/MichaelPhillip.shtml. Accessed 26 Nov. 2017.

4 Courtland, Rachel. “Transistors Could Stop Shrinking in 2021.” IEEE Spectrum, 22 July 2016, spectrum. ieee.org/semiconductors/devices/transistors-could-stopshrinking-in-2021. Accessed 26 Nov. 2017. 5 ibid. 6 Ekkens, Tom. “A Student-Built Scanning Tunneling Microscope.” The Physics Teacher, vol. 53, no. 9, 2015, pp. 539–541., doi:10.1119/1.4935765. 7 Ekkens, Tom. “The StudentSTM Project.” Walla Walla University, 20 Nov. 2017, www.wallawalla. edu/academics/areas-of-study/physics/faculty/ekkens-research/studentstm/. Accessed 20 Nov. 2017 8 Ekkens, Tom. “The SpectraCam Project.” Walla Walla University, 19 Nov. 2017, www.wallawalla.edu/ academics/areas-of-study/physics/faculty/ekkens-research/spectracam/. Accessed 26 Nov. 2017. 9 ibid.

Forrest Sheperd is a biology major.

COLLEGIAN WISDOM (Santa conspiracies)

Santa was a mushroom in the Romincka Forest and was picked by a lonely Siberian widow named Mrs. Claus, and then he became a man. He’s still a fungi at heart.

Santa is a venomous Arctic creature who can bring down a grown African Elephant with a single bite. Sources tell us all evidence was lost in the first Great Pentagon Purge of [date redacted].

Santa is the devil and rises from the depths of hell every Christmas to distract from Jesus by spreading joy to every good girl and boy. He’s jolly and red just like the fire from which he comes.

Hitler invented Santa to strike fear into the hearts of Jews. Think about it: the Nazi flag is red, white and black; Santa wears a red and white suit and wears black boots. Hard evidence!

Santa is a Time Lord, and his sleigh is actually a Tardis. Wait, he’s who?

Santa used to eat children, but then he found Jesus. It was probably the Adventist health message.

college place, wa, walla walla university

| December 2017 Issue 9

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RELIGION THE CHRISTMAS STORY

A Christmas Reminder By Peter Flores During my childhood, my secular and religious Christmas knowledge came from television and books. I certainly didn’t learn about the Santa portion of Christmas in church. My parents were never all that interested in making me believe in Santa. They were quite content just spending time with relatives and eating food—not really explaining our traditions. My lack of knowledge on popular Christmas tradition is due to the fact that I grew up Adventist, and my parents probably didn’t see a need for me to know more about the St. Nick edition of Christmas. I remember having unanswered questions like: what’s the tree there for, and why do we have stockings? I didn’t really understand these traditions, but I didn’t really care because, you know, Christmas gifts are distracting. Those questions really didn’t matter after I was given a Gameboy Advance from my aunt and uncle one year. In addition to these questions, I remember my parents sitting me down one Christmas next to my sister and explaining the story and circumstances of Jesus’ birth. I assume this is due to the fact that the story of Jesus was something my parents wanted me to know about. Here is the story paraphrased below: • Mary and Joseph got engaged. • An angel visited Mary and told her that she was going to have a baby. • Joseph had a dream in which he saw an angel. After listening to the angel in the dream, he decided to go through with marrying Mary. • They got married. • Census time! They traveled about 70 miles (the distance from Nazareth to Bethlehem) with the help of a donkey. • The inns had no room for them to stay in Bethlehem.

• They stayed in a stable with some animals and a manger (an animal feeding thingy) in the vicinity. • The baby Jesus was born and placed in a manger. • The shepherds and wise men visited the family. • King Herod wanted to kill baby Jesus because of a prophecy saying Jesus would be king. • The family fled to Egypt and came back to Israel when King Herod died. • Jesus was raised in Nazareth. In a list, this story seems neither remarkable nor interesting. In fact, if the story ended there, I don’t think we’d have Christianity as a religion. You have to understand what happened before and afterward for the story to really make sense. In a list, this story seems neither remarkable nor interesting. In fact, if the story ended there, I don’t think we’d have Christianity as a religion. A scene from The Nativity Story. (E! NEWS) You have to understand what happened before and after for the story to really It may be common to think that we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For make sense. the real Christmas story is well known the Gentiles seek after all these things, and not worth repeating, but the world and your heavenly Father knows that The importance of this story is changing. There isn’t as strong of a you need them all. But seek first the doesn’t match with what we think of as Christian emphasis on Christmas. The kingdom of God and his righteousness, traditional Christmas today. Christmas Christian Christmas story been comand all these things will be added to has been drowned in a sea of gifts, mercialized, de-spiritualized and someyou. Therefore do not be anxious about lights and toys. The most important times even deleted altogether. There is tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxpart of the story is that Jesus was the less focus on Jesus. If you claim to love ious for itself. Sufficient for the day is Son of God, he grew up, and he died for Jesus, your focus should be on Him its own trouble.” – Matthew 6:31-34 us to have eternal life. I hope that you during this holiday season. If you are have heard this at least once. Maybe “What do you think? If a man interested in getting to know Him, then you have heard it in a VeggieTales has a hundred sheep, and one of them perhaps it’s time to start reading. Christmas special, from your parents, has gone astray, does he not leave the from your pastor or from the televiI’d like to leave you with three ninety-nine on the mountains and go sion. If you haven’t heard it and are promises below that come straight in search of the one that went astray? interested, I suggest picking up a Bible, from Jesus. And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, starting in the New Testament with he rejoices over it more than over the “Therefore I tell you, whatever the book of Matthew. Luckily, the book ninety-nine that never went astray. So you ask in prayer, believe that you has no basic bullet point version of the it is not the will of my Father who is have received it, and it will be yours.” – story. Instead, it has glimpses of a God in heaven that one of these little ones Mark 11:24 who loves you and wants to save you no should perish.” – Matthew 18:12-14 matter who you are, where you came “Therefore do not be anxious, sayJesus is ready to come into your from or what you’ve done. ing, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall life at any time. I hope you’ll realize

that unless you study and see Jesus for yourself, he won’t ever really come alive. Also, if, perchance, you want to study along with someone, feel free to contact any of these fine people: Matthew.Cosaert@wallawalla.edu (ASWWU Spiritual Vice President) Brittni.Bryan@wallawalla.edu (A Campus Chaplain) Peter.Flores@wallawalla.edu (myself, the Adventist Intercollegiate Association President) There are many people willing to study with you, so just ask and you shall receive!

Peter Flores is a theology major.

HISTORY HOLIDAY MYTHOLOGY

Reflections on Mythos and History:

Thanksgiving, American Folklore and the Stories We Tell By Zachary White As modern people, we do not often like to think of ourselves as believers of myths. The word “myth” in 21st century English has a derogatory connotation. A myth, to us, is a story that is “just made up.” We have a narrow definition of the word, which I think is a shame. The ancient Greeks had a much more nuanced and useful definition for the word “myth” that has been lost on us. The Greek word “mythos,” which is the etymological origin of the English word “myth,” did not necessarily refer to a story that was false or untrue like it does today. In fact, the Greek word for myth often meant quite the opposite. Modern translations of this word might be “report,” “story” or sometimes even “advice.” 1, 2 In the ancient world, before humanity had encountered either the scientific method, the craft of critical history or video cameras, there was not as clear of a distinction between the literal and the metaphorical as there is now. To ancient people, stories were true if they had truth to them—if they were worth passing down to their children. Many of these stories weren’t literally true but rather were stories that revealed truths about what it means to be human. Merriam Webster defines the English word “mythos,” now reclaimed by modern historians and literary critics, as “a pattern of beliefs expressing, often symbolically, the characteristic or prevalent attitudes in a group or

culture.” 3 Myths are stories. Mythos refers to the act of collective storytelling across generations. The power of myth is unfathomable. Human beings live off of stories. We believe the stories we tell about ourselves and one another with all of our hearts. We let these stories—these myths—define us. Myth should not be understood as objectively good or bad. These beliefs we collectively hold can most definitely be either good or evil. What we should understand about myths, however, is their incredible power. Over Thanksgiving break this last week, I thought a lot about myths. What historians are capable of knowing about the infamous meeting between the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag Indians at Plymouth is actually extremely sparse, but that image, however flawed, is seared into the brains of Americans. 4, 5 I remember vividly in first grade at my Adventist elementary school when the teacher taught us how to make paper Pilgrim hats and “Native American headdresses.” We then proceeded to cosplay as Natives and Pilgrims as we ate a joyous feast. The idea of a horde of A painting of the first Thanksgiving. (WALL STREET JOURNAL) white kids dressing up as Native Americans is so disturbing to me now, and I thanksgiving. Perhaps, as a nation, we the widespread practice of African really hope that elementary schools are long for a palatable explanation to a difslavery, and a policy of genocide and not still doing that. ficult question: “Why is this continent land theft. Those who seek history covered in white people?” with an upbeat ending, a history of Why do we cling to this myth? redemption and reconciliation, may It is clear that interactions between In her November 2014 Jacobin look around and observe that such a white people and indigenous people magazine article “America’s Founding conclusion is not visible, not even in would be much better characterized Myths,” historian Roxanne Dunbar-Oriutopian dreams of a better society. That by war, displacement and mass death tz writes that a true understanding of narrative is wrong or deficient, not in via diseases than a cordial feast of American settler colonialism is shroudits facts, dates, or details but rather in ed by the mythology its essence. Inherent in the myth we’ve of Thanksgiving and been taught is an embrace of settler other pieces of Amercolonialism and genocide. The myth ican folklore such as persists, not for a lack of free speech or the story of Chrispoverty of information but rather for an topher Columbus. absence of motivation to ask questions “Settler colonialism” that challenge the core of the scripted is “a distinctive type narrative of the origin story.” 7 of colonialism that functions through the replacement of indigenous populations with an invasive distinctive identity and sovereignty.” 6 Dunbar-Oritz critiques American mythos regarding Native Americans in an urgent tone:

A wooden Nativity scene. (WIKIPEDIA)

“The history of the United States is a history of settler colonialism—the founding of a state based on the ideology of white supremacy,

Another historian that has had me thinking about myth-making in American history is David W. Blight. I would highly recommend his book “Race and Reunion,” as it describes in eloquent detail the development of America’s collective memory of the Civil War. Winter has traditionaly been a time of storytelling. While our ancestors physically drew near to each other around a fire during the cold months, they also would have drawn near to each other in spirit as they shared stories with one another. The Christmas season is rich with powerful mythology and symbolism, as pagan and Biblical stories are interwoven with the capital-

ist myths of commodity as a symbol of love. As you sing along to century-old Christmas carols, read millennia-old accounts of the birth of Jesus Christ or joke with your little niece or nephew about Santa Claus and his reindeer, think about the power of a story. What can a story do to a person, a family, a nation or a culture? What do we learn about our ancestors from these stories? What do we learn about ourselves? 1 https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/mythos 2 https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/μῦθος#Ancient_Greek 3 https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/mythos 4 https://news.nationalgeographic. com/2015/11/151121-first-thanksgiving-pilgrims-native-americans-wampanoag-saints-and-strangers/ 5 https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/retropolis/ wp/2017/11/22/thanksgivings-hidden-past-plymouth-in-1621-wasnt-close-to-being-the-first-celebration/?utm_term=.2c047a2dbb15 6 https://globalsocialtheory.org/concepts/settler-colonialism/ 7 https://www.jacobinmag.com/2014/11/americas-founding-myths/

Zachary White is a biology major.

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Feature college place, wa | walla walla university

| December 2017 Issue 9

How do You Celebrate? By Jake Sloop This was from the Baseball Haus Christmas Party 2017 at Whitman College. As you the reader may have recognized, this week we are covering the different ways that the diverse cultural groups across our valley celebrate the holidays. My chosen group of interest was the communities that exist within our

sister school: Whitman. As I talked to my various sources at Whitman, an overarching theme emerged, “We don’t do Christmas.” I was intrigued, for a predominantly upper class white school, I expected a more Judeo-Christian interests for the holidays, specifically Christmas. To better understand this un-holiday at Whitman, I met up

with my contact Dan Lovato, a queer non-practicing Sephardi Jew. We agreed to met as the fraternity house for which he is a member. As I pulled up around 9pm, the front half of the Tau Kappa Epsilon house was wrapped in greenery and lights, a strange departure from what I’d been told. As we went inside, he showed me the Rolling Rock Christmas tree, something of an irreverent satire of Christmas. As we

proceeded through the frat house, I found more a more Christmas related themes. I pointed these out to him and asked how he felt, to which he replied, “Christmas is as much a holiday as any other, a time to celebrate beauty.” With this we sat down and started talking around his coffee table laden in vodka bottles and bongs. The surreal stage painted the scene for an hour long crash course on cultural respect, Christian appropriation, and the activism scene within Whitman. “If anything, Whitman avoids Christmas more to avoid the complaints of quasi social justice warriors. You see, you have to understand that Whitman is filled with faux activists, typically white cisgender women from the upper middle class. They come across a school sponsored Christmas event and become indignant that Ramadan isn’t equally celebrated. While I support the equal representation of religious holidays, I despise the hypocrisy of the white activism.” He continued to explain, “they will fight for something once, but if it fails, they give up. Their supposed charitable activism is empty, they lack the will, passion, and anger that fuels a movement. Consequently, we have no Christmas trees. As we moved on, Dan explained how he grew up in an incredibly diverse home. His mother, a Sephardi Jew, had him with a Roman Catholic father, although later she married his step father, an Irish Catholic. His father in turn married his step mother, an atheist. Through all of this, Dan ended up in a Episcopalian grade school. Here he participated in Protestant traditions during the school days leading up to the holidays, but

Christmas Parties Snowball Banquet ASWWU Social put on a special winter banquet on Saturday night in the U-Church Fellowship hall. Highlights included: Five different “mocktail” flavors including lime-cucumber, lavender, strawberry-basil, raspberry and blueberry A Christmas photo booth Candy cane bobbing A couples’ competition for best gingerbread house

WWU Christmas Parade On Saturday, Walla Walla had its annual holiday Parade of Lights through the downtown area. Highlights included: 78 competing parade floats—the winning float featured a cowboy and a horse; witnesses report that every time the horse pooped, a little boy would jump off and scoop it into the trailer to the cheers of the crowd Floats sponsored by the Boy Scouts, WWU Fire Departments, various farms and ranches and many others People of all ages and social backgrounds coming together to celebrate At least three Walla Walla students participated in the parade; they would especially like it to be known that they were all engineering students, proving that, yes, engineers have social lives, too

WWU Jam—Christmas Edition ASWWU Social hosted an hour of music, refreshments and fun in the bookstore on Tuesday. Highlights included: Special musical numbers by talented students Buzzfeed quiz game with ASWWU President Adam Hagele (featuring Social Vice President Tim Kosaka) Tons of hot chocolate and tea!

Communications Department Christmas Party The Communications Department hosted a Christmas party on Wednesday night in the Black Box Theatre. Highlights included: Christmas bingo Name the Christmas tune Jean-Paul’s famous homemade bread

Handel’s Messiah Concert The Walla Walla Symphony and Mid-Columbia Mastersingers performed Handel’s Messiah in the University Church on Saturday night. Highlights included: Free admission for WWU students Four distinguished guest soloists: Courtney Ruckman, soprano; Hannah Penn, mezzo-soprano; Daniel Buchanan, tenor; and Michael Drumheller, baritone WWU faculty musicians: Dr. Kraig Scott on the organ and harpsichord and Dr. Lyn Ritz on the viola

then would go to temple, and midnight mass. All of these factors he explained, “led me to hate the holidays, particularly Christmas. It was just litany of incongruent traditions and clashing family members.” Therefore, I asked Dan, how he felt about the decorations which plastered the front of the frat house, “The house is in drag, I love it! I, as a creative, can become anything through drag; just the same, this is a time for the house to become something beautiful. Just because it’s wrapped in lights doesn’t mean my Jewish heritage can’t celebrate beauty.” I shook hands and thanked Dan for his time. As I drove home, I processed how complicated the system of holiday celebration at Whitman was. While I admire the celebration of diversity, it couldn’t help but bemoan the complexity that mired the otherwise normal holiday which we know here at Walla Walla University. A week ago, I made my way to Kellogg hall for my final CommUnity credit. Together we sang Christmas songs, judged ugly sweaters, and lit a Christmas tree. It was an experience built on the sharing of joy, a scarce resource in the final days of any quarter. Consequently, I’ve come to a much greater appreciation of Christmas for its uncomplicated and unhampered celebration here on campus. P.S. Dan and I eventually found a Christmas tree on Whitman’s Campus. We’ll see if it lasts until break. Jake is a biochemistry major.

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December 2017 Issue 9 | walla walla university | college place, wa

WEEK IN FORECAST

125th Birthday $1.25 off Yogi Burgers The Express WWU’s tastiest tradition is $1.25 off all day.

Birthday Commemoration Service 8:30 a.m. Administration Building Ring in our birthday like they did in 1892 with song, prayer, ringing of the bell, and morning refreshments.

Weather Thursday, December 7

Bowers Hall Grand Re-Opening

Dining Hall Birthday Party

Noon Bowers Hall

Noon - 2 p.m. Kellogg Hall

Ribbon-cutting ceremony, self-guided tours of the transformed School of Business space, and tasty treats.

Dine on vegetarian apricot chicken and other WWU favorites, and enjoy some birthday cake.

Weather Saturday, December 9

Weather Sunday, December 10

Weather Friday, December 8

FOOD QUICK MEALS

Roasted Veggie and Curried Chickpea Bowl with Tahini Maple Dressing By Daphne Novak Over the past year, I have realized that roasted veggies are a great base to many meals. This realization was the beginning of my love for roasted veggie bowls. I love them because they are very flavorful and slightly smoky. These bowls are extremely satisfying no matter what dietary lifestyle you subscribe to. While the ones I make are usually vegan, who’s to say that you can’t use your favorite dairy-based dressing or maybe throw in some (ethically-raised) chicken? That is totally up to you. Roasted veggie bowls make great dead-week meals because the time needed when you are actively preparing your food is maybe 15 minutes. Basically, you need to turn on the oven; wash, chop and put your veggies in the oven; make the dressing; and toast the chickpeas. That may seem like a lot to do while reading it, but trust me, this recipe is non-demanding. Roasted veggie bowls also contain a ton of fiber and protein. They truly are a gift to your taste buds and your body. Yay! What I like about this recipe in particular are the chickpeas and the tahini maple dressing. If you have never made curried toasted chickpeas before just as a snack, I highly recommend them. The chickpeas on top of the veggie bowl add a great spiciness and crispiness. That, combined with the tahini maple dressing, just make this roasted veggie bowl so amazing. While I am giving you a recipe here, keep in mind that you can leave out or put in whatever you want.

VEGETABLES • 1-2 sweet potatoes (I would not recommend subbing with regular potatoes), cut into fourths • 1 red onion, cut into fourths • 1-2 handfuls of kale chopped into bite-sized portions • 1 bunch of broccoli or broccolini chopped into bitesized pieces • Olive oil (or whatever oil you have) • Salt and pepper to taste

CHICKPEAS • 15-ounce can of chickpeas • 1 teaspoon chili powder • 1 teaspoon garlic powder (or 3 cloves of fresh minced garlic) • ½ teaspoon turmeric • 1 ½ teaspoon cumin • Black pepper to taste

TAHINI MAPLE SAUCE • ¼ cup tahini • 1 tablespoons maple syrup (or agave or honey) • Juice of 1 lemon • 3 tablespoons of warm water

Daphne Novak is a psychology major.

Roasted Veggie and Curried Chickpea Bowl with Tahini Maple Dressing. (MINIMALIST BAKER)

INSTRUCTIONS Heat your oven to 400° F and get out a large baking sheet. Coat sweet potatoes and onions with oil and place skin side down on the baking sheet. Bake for 10 minutes; then remove the baking sheet. Flip the sweet potatoes; then place the broccolini (or broccoli) on the baking sheet. Drizzle broccolini with oil. Sprinkle salt and pepper on sweet potatoes and broccolini. Place baking sheet back in the oven and bake for another nine minutes. Remove veggies from the oven and place kale on the baking sheet. Bake for another four to five minutes. Remove when done and set aside. Heat a large skillet, then add roughly a tablespoon of oil. Over medium heat, put chickpeas in the skillet. Add the spices, and brown the spiced chickpeas for about 10 minutes. Make the tahini maple sauce by getting a small bowl, pouring all the ingredients in the bowl and mixing it either with a whisk or a fork. Add little bits of water at a time until you get a dressing. To serve, put the veggies in first, then the chickpeas, and top off with however much tahini maple dressing you want.

college place, wa, walla walla university

| December 2017 Issue 9

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December 7 Havstad Alumni Center Open House

College Place Winterfest Parade

College Place Winterfest Tree Lighting

4:30 - 7 p.m. Havstad Alumni Center

5:30 p.m. College Avenue

6:10 p.m. College Place City Hall

Visit the Havstad Alumni Center for festive refreshments in a warm environment.

President McVay, Wally Wolf, WWU clubs, and more.

WWU birthday cupcakes, carols, WWU President McVay speech, tree lighting and more.

ASWWU Fireworks Party 7 p.m.* WWU’s Old Rogers School Field Festive fireworks, brought to you by Hayden Homes, Walla Walla University and City of College Place. * Fireworks will begin at 7:30 p.m. and are sponsored by the City of College Place

Weather Monday, December 11

Weather Tuesday, December 12

Weather Wednesday, December 13

Weather Thursday, December 14

CULTURE BUYING GIFTS

Shopping Locally By Hannah Thiel Are you all ready to shop for the holidays? I tend to be a procrastinator when shopping for presents because I want them to be just right for the person! I’d rather that the gift be late and the person really like it than get them something that isn’t quite perfect. A lot of the gifts I’ve found for people that I think they’ve really enjoyed have actually been from stores right here in Walla Walla. I thought I would share some of those great places so that you can find that perfect gift, plus support local businesses! Also, as an added bonus, if you buy presents early here, you won’t have to sneak around shopping when you get home. You can hide the presents in your suitcase and then relax and recover from finals right when you walk in the door at home! Perfect plan, right? Here are some options: Book & Game. If you’ve never been to Book & Game, you should go even if you don’t need to buy any presents! This is a classic place to go Christmas shopping in Walla Walla. They have a wide selection of books available, plus a card and board game section! If you don’t know specifically what to get someone, first check out the displays on the right and left of the door as you enter. That’s where the most recent bestsellers are,

as well as mugs, soaps and other gifttype items. Bright’s Candies. This might not seem like an obvious choice, but I guarantee anyone would love to receive something from Bright’s. Everything they make is delicious and unique. They have a variety of specialty chocolate bars as well as freshly-made candies. Something from Bright’s would be a perfect host/ hostess gift if you’re staying over at someone else’s house over break or if you just want to treat your family. Sweetwater. This is another one of my favorite local places to shop for the holidays. Sweetwater can be a bit pricey, but they have really nice journals, mugs, stationery and even baby shower gifts. Like Bright’s, Sweetwater would be a good place to stop for gifts for a host/ hostess present or for a present for someone you don’t know super well (though if you know someone who’s obsessed with stationery, you should definitely stop there: they carry Rifle Paper stationery). Earthlight. Earthlight is a great secondhand bookstore in town. I’d stop here if you’re looking for quantity over quality—perhaps for a bookworm in your life who doesn’t care so much about

Bright’s Candies in downtown Walla Walla. (WALLAFACES.COM) the condition of the books (though Earthlight does have brand new books as well). Maybe you can even stock up with some books for yourself for the break while you’re there. Inland Octopus. Inland Octopus is the place you’ll want to go for all the gifts you could need for the kids in your life (though honestly, I think older folks would probably think some of the things in there are pretty cool too). They’ve got every-

thing from stuffed animals to musical instruments to science kits. My favorite section, though, has always been the Playmobil area, I’ll have to be honest. There’s a cool miniature train engine set up in the corner as well! Also, they offer gift wrapping service—just another reason to love Inland Octopus.

markers—you name it. The last time I was in there, I spotted blank postcards which I think would be a great gift for the long distance friend in your life. Maybe you could trade off creating postcard art pieces and sending them back and forth! Happy Holidays, everyone!

Pontarolos. This is the place to stop for the art enthusiast in your life. They have paints, different types of paper, pens,

Hannah Thiel is an art major.

OUTDOORS RUUD REMARKS

Condolences By Niqolas Ruud Sadly, our long sought-after break has passed. So, to share our condolences, the grand “we” here at Ruud Remarks are going to take a few moments to look back at some of the greatest memories from our time with November 17-26, 2017. Whoa! Peter (@goflostagram), did you go all the way to Utah? And did Utahlk about going on a hike? Cool. Here, Niq (@riq_nuud) climbs some alpine ice in Southern California! Nice find, Niq! Huge congrats!

Here is Niq (@riq_nuud) again, acting very stupid, this time in Joshua Tree National Park. You should not have done that, Niq. I’m going to tell your mother!

Eric (@nimbalo99) seemed to have a good time up (in more ways than one) in the Puget Sound.

It looks like Paul (@paulglatts) had a good time up in the outdoorsy skies! Congrats on getting instrument rated over the break!

A high-class shot from Clayton (@clay_ kruse) of some light. Cool light, dude.

Chad (@chadischillin), an ACA student in France, took this photo looking over to Mt. Blanc, a classic European mountain he chose to look at but not climb. Sad.

Sounds like Grant (@grant.rainier) had a good time at Smith Rock doing the entire Marsupial Traverse (and 8 pitch, 5.8 R climb)! Looks like fun! Rocking the rock real hard, Natalia (@ natalamperry) seemed to have a rocking time down in Oregon Smith Rock State Park!

It looks like Meghan (@mtnmeghans) found some beautiful Thanksgiving-appropriate colors out by Beacon Rock in the Columbia River Gorge!

Josh (@j0sh_hall) seemed to find quite the angle from above the the Skokomish River! Looks really quite PNW-y!

What a whirlwind. It’s certainly sad to see such a monumental allotment of time go. Niqolas Ruud is a religious studies major.

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December 2017 Issue 9 | walla walla university | college place, wa

MEDIA/TECH HOLIDAY THOUGHTS

Crabs For Christmas, cont. By Matt Fennell Here’s a rundown of the stuff that’s happened in my life and in the media recently, and some of my favorite things about Thanksgiving, Christmas, and maybe New Year’s. Let’s go! Hours spent traveling home and back at Thanksgiving - 40 Number of times my 13-year-old sister Lauren closed her eyes and screamed while we watched

Stranger Things - I think like a million. I’m not even sure if she caught any of the show. Favorite holiday window display in NYC - Macy’s is always great, but Bergdorf Goodman gave them a run for their money this year. My feelings on Justice League - I liked it! But also keep in mind, I’m a massive DC fanboy who read Batman and Superman comics every week for almost two full years during high school.

Honestly, this movie was the best I could have hoped for given everything that preceded it. Finally, my favorite version of Superman 1 was in a movie and that makes me so happy. Favorite Thanksgiving Parade Balloon - Snoopy Favorite Thanksgiving Special “Garfield’s Thanksgiving” Favorite Sitcom Thanksgiving Episode - “The One With Chandler in a Box” Number of Attempts Needed to take the Christmas Card Photo - At least 300, on two separate occasions Favorite Thanksgiving Food - My mom’s Fri-Chik casserole and mashed potatoes Least Favorite Thanksgiving Tradition Being tricked into suffering

The Walla Walla Parade of Lights. (STEVE LENZ)

through a game of Phase 10 2 by my best friend Katelyn Favorite Black Friday Tradition Driving out into western Maryland to chop down a christmas tree so heavy that I’m always afraid that even with my and Jeff’s help, this will be the year that my dad finally throws out his back. 3 Favorite Thanksgiving Leftovers Microwaved sweet potato casserole Favorite Christmas Album - Relient K’s “Let It Snow Baby, Let It Reindeer,” with the best track being “Merry Christmas, Here’s to Many More” Favorite Novelty Christmas Song “Crabs for Christmas” 4 Favorite Christmas Movie - “Elf” Favorite “Christmas” Movie “Die Hard” Favorite Holiday Drink - My buddy Carter’s mom makes this super great homemade eggnog that has to be consumed within 48 hours or it will kill you because of the actual real eggs in it that will go bad. It comes with fresh nutmeg and is very good.

Favorite Walla Walla Christmas Tradition - It’s a toss up between the Walla Walla University Christmas Tree lighting and the Walla Walla Christmas Parade, which happens (or has already happened) on December 2nd, downtown. Please, make sure to enjoy them both! Well, I think that’s all the space we have for today. Thanks for reading, and if you’re heading home for the holidays, have a safe trip.

1 My favorite version of Superman is a cross of the one from the cartoon, the one in “American Alien” (please read “American Alien”), and that type of kinda goofy, really helpful nice guy we all know. Like Adam Hagele! Think about it though, have you ever seen Adam and Superman in the same room? 2 AKA the Devil’s Cards. I was stuck in Phase 1 for 30 minutes. 3 2015 was almost that year. His back spasmed, he literally lept into the air and collapsed, and then he was laid up for 3 days, and just spent all his time watching the Jason Bourne movies. 4 If you’re curious, the version on Spotify is okay, but the original, David DeBoy creation from a local access holiday spectacular back in 1981 is available for your viewing and listening pleasure on YouTube.

Matt Fennell is a computer engineering major.

OPINION IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR

Christmas Decorations Before Thanksgiving By Parker Bailey If you’re one of those people who put up your Christmas decorations at the end of July, you’re the reason we can’t have nice things. The more hype a holiday receives, the less interesting it becomes over time. I understand that I may seem like a killjoy to some of you and like I “don’t have the Christmas spirit,” but you’re all wrong. I love Christmas, and I want to make it special, which is why I wait for it to come on its own rather than overhyping it every year. Christmas has become much more materialistic recently. If you haven’t noticed, department stores put out their décor earlier than they used to. They do this to capitalize on people’s Christmas lists and their need to be more prepared by buying sooner, but buying sooner often ends up meaning buying more.

From a business perspective, this makes good sense, but from a consumer perspective, I’m rather appalled. It portrays capitalist America as a greedy country, and I don’t want to be part of it.

relatives arrived at your house too. If you put up your decorations at the end of July, you’re in for a lot of family time, and I think we all know that too much of a good thing is not good.

You might say, “Well, my personal decorations aren’t acting as an advertisement, so that’s different,” which is true. I like the lights and the snow and all the stereotypical storybook Christmas elements, but why stretch their value so early? If you stretch it too far, it gets old. Imagine if when you put out your Christmas decorations, all your

But Christmas is coming, as you can see by this chart of Google search trends for “All I Want for Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey. We are on the holiday upswing again, so let the festivities begin! Now is an acceptable time to put out the lights, put up a tree, make that hot cocoa, wear

Search trends for “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” (GOOGLE)

your winter clothes, go skiing, get gifts for others, and whatever else you do at Christmastime. I want us to focus on giving, because that’s what Christmas is all about, right? For you readers out there, if you find me before the year is up, I’ll have something I can give you, but you’ll have to find me to know what it is.[1] It’s one of my most valuable possessions, and if you are reading this, you are now entitled to at least some of it (don’t worry, I have a lot for now). In short, I think that Christmas needs to be kept special, and by that, I mean it needs to stay at Christmastime where it belongs! Bringing Christmas decorations out before Thanksgiving simultaneously degrades both by taking away attention from Thanksgiving and using it to overhype Christmas. Leave Christmas where it is. Only pull out the lights and Mariah Carey when the time is right.

Let me know what you think by taking this quick survey:

http://bit.ly/2i72r72

1 I do not accept groups and you must have read the article first yourself, not told about it by another. Other terms and conditions apply. Inquire for more details.

Parker Bailey is an engineering major.

OPINION STAY SAFE

For Those Traveling This Holiday Season By Savanna Pardo It’s an exciting time: finals are almost over, Christmas is only weeks away, and we will be able to go home in a short time. However, with the holiday season comes all kinds of holiday rush. When traveling this season, whether it be by car or plane, make sure to be prepared and cautious. If you’re driving, be careful of your driving and of all the other drivers around you. During this time of year, the roads are packed with other drivers trying to travel for the holiday. I can tell you out of experience that it is not fun to sit and wait in the car for hours on end, but I promise you: patience is going to be your best friend. Just listen to Christmas music and stay aware while waiting for the rush to pass. Since the weather is changing, the road conditions as well, so be careful and make sure to check the roads to your destination before you head out. Make sure to be prepared for whatever conditions you may run into on your travels. Safety is important, and keep in mind that everyone is trying to get home to their loved ones, just as you are. It is better to make it home a little late than to not make it home at all. Going home after finals is a major

relief; you get the chance to sleep in and eat good food. You get to see your high school friends and hang out at the hometown hotspots. Keep the following

in mind though: spending time with your family is what the season is really about. Being in college and living over 1,000 miles away from home, I appre-

ciate family time more than ever. Most students don’t get to see their family as much as they would like, so take advantage of this time that you have to

spend with your loved ones. They miss you and are more than happy to have you home, so enjoy all the annoying questions and hugs you get from your parents and siblings. Don’t forget to show your pets some love as well. You are their best friend, and since they haven’t seen you in months, I can confidently say they enjoy the time they get with you because they have missed you too. During this holiday season, make sure to cherish the time you have at home. Relax and take a break; take pleasure in sleeping in and enjoy the feeling of no academic responsibility for a few weeks. Also, remember to make your time worthwhile as you carry out holiday traditions with your loved ones. When traveling home, be cautious and make safety your number one priority. Don’t get too angry on the road, and be aware of your surroundings. Play it smart: be a prepared driver. Once again, be thankful for the time you are given to spend and the memories you will make. I hope you all have safe travels and a merry Christmas! Savanna Pardo is an English major.

Holiday Traveling. (KBND)

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