Volume 102 issue 5 by The Collegian

Ne w s p a p e r o f Wa l l a Wa l l a U n i v e r s i t y

Collegian The

Volume 102 | Issue 05

The Best Apples pg. 6

“Ahahahahahahahaha It’s close to midnight Something evil’s lurking from the dark Under the moonlight...”

October 26, 2017

-Rodney Lynn Temperton

Last Things First college place, wa | walla walla university

| October 2017 Issue 5

Australian National Anthem Boy By Meghann Heinrich Okay fine, I’ll admit it. I’m flawed. After rigorous self-evaluation, I have come to the uncomfortable truth that I am—and it pains me to say it—a sucker for clickbait. I’m not proud of it, but there are worse things I could do. I don’t intend to, but all too often I find myself unwittingly clicking through galleries of the Kensington royals, getting in on those cake-decorating time-lapse videos, or watching sassy miniature horses living their best lives. In other words: I’m human. It’s midterm time, and with that revelation comes a statistically significant rise in my ability to shirk homework and fall prey to the evils of

Thank You Notes “Thank you Jackson Shampo for putting your grandparents in your Mask photo. You are the best of us” “I’d like to thank ASWWU bikes for making my daily commute a delight, well almost, I’ve never actually gotten to one quickly enough. But I’d like to someday”

clickbait. It is at times like these, when I know I should choose scholarly the high road, that I find myself aligned with the sentiments of acclaimed writer Susan Orlean, “I think of myself as something of a connoisseur of procrastination, creative and dogged in my approach to not getting things done.” Procrastination is not for the faint of heart or the uninvested.1 I recently watched a video of a young boy singing the Australian National Anthem at a baseball game.1 What starts out as a darling rendition of the anthem quickly takes an unfortunate turn as the young vocalist contracts a powerful bout of hiccups, adding creative and frequent gaps in

his otherwise flawless performance. It struck me, as I watched the clip a second and third time, that (1)This is probably not an efficient use of my time, but, by Jove, I don’t give a rat’s patootie. and (2) I just can’t get enough of this little trooper, out there in the big wide world singing his song and making the rest of us look bad. Why is this? What is it about that little red-headed whippersnapper that keeps me coming back? I would venture to say it is his resilience. I envy his chutzpah, the kid has moxie coming out his ears. In the face of hiccups he says, “Not today you hiccups!” and it’s on with the show. So let’s hear it for the Australian National Anthem boy, and all those like him, because they are the real MVPs, my

friends. This, of course, leads me to say that when you encounter your own hiccups, say, your car battery goes down the proverbial toilet (or the real one, either scenario means your battery is dead), keep your chin up and call your homies (or your plumber), because it ain’t nothin’ but a thing. Or perhaps when you are in your high school’s spring musical and come offstage from your big number as Tracy from “Hairspray” to realize that you were definitely experiencing what we in the biz call a “wardrobe malfunction,” chalk it up to experience. And when autocorrect does horrible, horrible things to you, here is my suggestion: take a deep

breath, consider yourself a champion of flaws, and sing the Australian National Anthem. 1 If you happen to find yourself under a tight deadline—perhaps writing a paper, not unlike myself writing this footnote right now for this very article which is due in a matter of hours— might I suggest you take a moment to look up the song “The Book Report” from the Bbroadway musical “You’re A Good Man Charlie Brown.” It is perhaps the single most relatable ditty ever produced. 2 https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=0S23xyazk90

Verbatim “It’s one of my dreams to get quoted in The Collegian.” -Professor Albert Diaz

“Before you start switching around order of differentiation, you have to understand how the wiener is made”

“The flow is the flow. You don’t control it, you just deal with it.” -Professor Melodie Selby, on designing water and sewer systems

-Professor Roy Benton

“I would fake my death and have my kids come and clean out my house and then come back.” - Professor Bryce Cole, on how he can deal with his messy home “I’m going to show you how to cheat on Wednesday.” -Professor John Remington

“I want to believe she fell asleep on the bench, because that makes me happy.” -Professor Peter Gleason “And then there’ll be violence, and then there’ll be terror, and then there’ll be wonderful sex again” -Professor Linda Crumley on marriage communication

“If I was Bob Ross, I would paint happy calmodulin.” -Professor Kirt Onthank Email your faculty verbatim or shower thoughts to meghann.heinrich@wallawalla.edu to be featured!

“Thank you Parent Weekend, my fridge is now as full as my heart”

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October 2017 Issue 5 | walla walla university | college place, wa

Editor-in-Chief Daniella Silva

Twitter

Assistant Editor Kate Beckner

@aswwucollegian

Instagram @aswwucollegian Facebook

@aswwucollegian

Layout Design Kyra GreyEyes Sophie Bailey

Creative Director Hannah Chebeleu

Copy Editors Geoffery Karli Hart Jocelyn Griffin

Life Editor Angelica Chan

Office Manager Victoria Ico

Backpage Editor Meghann Heinrich

Distributer Sydney Peck Beau Gerber

Head Copy Editor Brielle Tym Cover | Sophie Bailey

Writers

Feature Michael Jensen Jake Sloop Opinion Parker Bailey Savanna Pardo Food & Culture Daphne Novak Hannah Theil Media & Tech Matthew Fennell Outdoor Niqolas Ruud Science Forrest Sheperd History Zachary White Religion Peter Flores

Advertising Manager Amanda Maizar

EDITOR’S NOTE

Daniella Silva Dear Reader,

Translation: German Lieber Leser,

Next Tuesday will mark the 500th anniversary of Martin Luther nailing his 95 theses to the door of Castle Church in Wittenburg, Germany. On that day in 1517, Luther, a German monk and theologian publicized his discontent with the church’s practice of selling indulgences and set the ball rolling for sweeping religious and social changes in Europe, the effects of which are still felt today. To celebrate, we at The Collegian have dedicated this issue to talking about church reform. The opinion poll for this week was simply, “Do you think the church today needs a major reform?” We have intentionally left the question open to your interpretation of “church” and “reform.” You can read the results on page 8. Additionally, we have interviewed Pastor Alex Bryan about his sermon last weekend. A transcript of that interview can be found on page 3.

Tuesday, Oct. 31 will also be Halloween, or as Luther would’ve known it, “All Hallows’ Eve.” If you grew up Adventist, you may not have talked much about Halloween. If you did talk about it, it may have been part of a Bible class in high school warning you to stay away from Satanism. If you’re like me, you grew up believing it was evil, hiding from trick-or-treaters and eagerly awaiting the church-approved “Hallelujah Party” where we ‘good’ kids could still dress up and get some free candy. Regardless of whether or not you celebrate Halloween, we hope you can at least get some free candy Tuesday night. As usual, if you have any comments, questions or concerns, you can email us at aswwu.collegian@ wallawalla.edu. The editor’s note this week has been translated into German to celebrate Luther’s German heritage and the massive role Germany played in the Protestant Reformation.

Nächsten Dienstag ist Reformationstag, das 500 Reform Jubiläum. Wir feiern dass Martin Luther seine 95 Thesen eigenhändig an die Tür der Schlosskirche in Wittenberg genagelt hat. An diesem Tag in 1517 hat Luther, ein Deutscher Mönch und Theologe, seine Unzufriedenheit gegen den Ablasshandel in der Katholischen Kirche veröffentlicht. Dies war der Anfang von religiösen und sozialen Änderungen in Europa die man heute noch spürt. The Collegian widmet diese Publikation dem Thema der Kirchenreform. Die Meinungsumfrage dieser Woche war einfach, “Denkst Du dass die Kirche heute großen Reform braucht?” Wir haben absichtlich die Frage offen gelassen für Eure Interpretation von “Kirche” und “Reform.” Ihr könnt die Ergebnisse auf der 8. Seite lesen. Zusätzlich, haben wir Prediger Alex Bryan über seine letzte Predigt befragt. Man kann eine Abschrift auf der 3. Seite finden.

Dienstag, der 31. Oktober, ist auch Halloween. Wenn ihr Adventistisch aufgewachsen seid dann habt ihr vielleicht nie viel über Halloween geredet. Vielleicht habt ihr in Religions Klassen gehört das ihr von dem Satanismus fern bleiben sollt. Wenn ihr so seid wie ich, habt ihr vielleicht geglaubt das Halloween böse ist. Vielleicht habt ihr euch von “trick-or-treaters” versteckt. Vielleicht habt ihr freudig auf die kirchlich genehmigte “Halleluja” Feier gewartet wo die christlichen Kinder sich auch ankleiden konnten und kostenlose Süßigkeiten gekriegt haben. Unabhängig davon ob ihr Halloween feiert oder nicht, hoffen wir dass ihr am Dienstagabend zumindest leckere und kostenlose Süßigkeiten bekommt.

(Translated by Delia Frey, a student at Walla Walla University)

SCIENCE MICROBES 3/3

Microbes Inside Us: How Do We Keep Them Healthy? By Forrest Sheperd Welcome to the third and final edition of “Microbes Inside Us.” We will end the series with this question: with hundreds of trillions of microbes in and on our body, that have a vast impact on our health, longevity and even behavior, is there anything we can do to make sure they have a positive impact on us? One of the most important things you can do to avoid an unhealthy microbiome is to avoid antibiotics unless they are totally necessary. The thing about antibiotics is that they any kill harmful and beneficial bacteria. This leaves only the strains resistant to the antibiotics behind, and those aren’t usually the nice ones. Antibiotics can lead to deadly infections of antibiotic-resistant bacteria such as C. diff, which can result in needing to remove the infected colon. At the very least, the diversity of your microbiome will be permanently decreased every each use of systemic antibiotics.1 Healthy behaviors, such as getting enough exercise, may have a positive effect on the health of your gut as they have been shown to increase the diversity of our microbiomes, increase gut motility (our body’s ability to effectively

transport food through our gastrointestinal tracts), and increase levels of certain short-chain fatty acids (SCFAs),2 our most essential metabolites. Just like any ecosystem, the human gut microbiome is dynamic, and its composition depends largely on the environment it inhabits. There are two main approaches to change this ecosystem. One is to plant organisms in the environment in the hopes that they flourish and become a larger part of the population. This approach is the one taken by those using probiotics, which are live microorganisms (usually bacteria) introduced into the body for this purpose. The other way to change the ecosystem is to change the environment in which the organisms live, therefore favoring certain organisms over others. This is the effect seen when we eat prebiotics. Prebiotics are the foods we eat that then become the substrate our microbes live in, and eat. What we eat changes the substrate in our GI tracts, therefore determining what type of microbes survive there. ³ If a type of microbe can’t eat, it won’t survive. Microbes with more food will flourish more. The key to their survival is knowing which foods feed beneficial microbes, and which foods feed harmful ones.

As we touched on last week, the microbes that produce some of the most vital metabolites, SCFAs, are fed by fiber. 4 Fiber is only found naturally in plant foods. Populations that eat the most fiber have the highest levels of SCFAs and very low rates of inflammatory gut diseases and colon cancer. 4 When we eat large quantities of high-fat foods, especially those from animal sources, our bodies produce more bile acids, which, when in excess, travel down to the colon where certain bacteria ferment them into secondary bile acids. 5 Another harmful metabolite discussed last week, trimethylamine (TMA), which is oxidized by the liver to become trimethylamine N-oxide

(TMAO), is produced by the fermentation of choline, found mainly in eggs, and L-carnitine, found mainly in red meat. 6 So… what does all this mean? What does research say is the best thing you can do? Probiotics may be effective in restoring healthy composition to a damaged microbiome (such as after antibiotic use) but not in improving or maintaining health in someone who is already healthy. 7 The most powerful thing we can do to maintain, restore and improve the composition of our microbiota is to eat more of the foods that feed beneficial microbes, as food alone may drastically change our gut microbial population

within days. 3 Focus on including as many fiber-rich minimally-processed plant foods as you can (beans, fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts and seeds), and avoid as many high-fat foods, especially—animal-based foods—as possible. 1 Jernberg, C., et. al. “Long-term Impacts of Antibiotic Exposure on the Human Intestinal Microbiota.” Microbiology 156.11 (2010): 3216-223. ProQuest. Web. 20 Sept. 2017. 2 Monda, Vincenzo, et al. “Exercise Modifies the Gut Microbiota with Positive Health Effects.” Oxidative Medicine and Cellular Longevity (2017) ProQuest. Web. 18 Aug. 2017. 3 David, Lawrence A. et al. “Diet Rapidly and Reproducibly Alters the Human Gut Microbiome.” Nature 505.7484 (2014): 559–563. PMC. Web. 20 Sept. 2017. 4 Ou, Junhai, et al. “Diet, Microbiota, and Microbial Metabolites in Colon Cancer Risk in Rural Africans and African Americans.” The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition 98.1 (2013): 111. ProQuest. Web. 20 Sept. 2017. 5 David, Lawrence A. et al. “Diet Rapidly and Reproducibly Alters the Human Gut Microbiome.” Nature 505.7484 (2014): 559–563. PMC. Web. 20 Sept. 2017. 6 Goldsmith, Jason R., and R. Balfour Sartor. “The Role of Diet on Intestinal Microbiota Metabolism: Downstream Impacts on Host Immune Function and Health, and Therapeutic Implications.” Journal of Gastroenterology 49.5 (2014): 785-98. ProQuest. Web. 20 Sept. 2017. 7 Hemarajata, Peera, and James Versalovic. “Effects of Probiotics on Gut Microbiota: Mechanisms of Intestinal Immunomodulation and Neuromodulation.” Therapeutic Advances in Gastroenterology 6.1

(GOOGLE IMAGES)

(2013): 39–51. PMC. Web. 21 Sept. 2017.

Forrest Sheperd is a biology major.

COLLEGIAN WISDOM Trump Brags About Having ‘One Of The Great Memories Of All Time’ He forgot to run the statement past his press secretary Police Discover Speeding Driver Nearly Naked And Covered In Vaseline The officer tried to arrest him, but the driver nearly gave ‘em the slip Wild Badger Sneaks Into Home, Impersonates Family Cat Cat files for identity theft Tampa mayor on Seminole Heights killer: “Bring his head to me.’’ No headway has been made yet Runaway garbage truck hits store named A Beautiful Mess Conspiracy theorists suspect it was just a creative marketing stunt ‘Sorry I Tried To Bite You’: Louisiana woman buys apology cake for officer after arrest Instead of replying, the officer took a big bite [of the cake, not the woman...] Kokomo man’s warning after having 16 guns stolen: ‘Don’t let strippers in your house’

Roses are red / Cocaine is white / Strippers also enjoy their second amendment rights

Viral Chinese video game measures which players can clap fastest for President Xi Jinping

Sounds like a-plausible Trump stunt

SENATE Our second meeting for 69th Senate just happened. F.L. 2 Hang board for WEC got passed! So expect a new feature next to the rock wall! District 7 vote Thursday Oct. 36 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. for your second senator

ASWWU JOBS Spiritual Team Member

walla walla university

| October 2017 Issue 5

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SURVEY

RELIGION CHRISTIAN ETHICS

YOUR RESPONSES

Does the Adventist Church Need a Reformation?

Is the church today in need of major reform? 15%

said no By Peter Flores The church has always had disagreements. Peter and Paul disagreed for a while, early church leaders took centuries to develop a New Testament canon, and the Millerites created tension in American Christianity by predicting their own date for Christ’s return. A dream from God convicted Peter to change, heresies prompted the church to choose the books of the New Testament, and the Great Disappointment started the Seventh-day Adventist church. It took people that were concerned with the state of the church in their own time to fix the issues. My church, the Adventist church, isn’t immune to being slow or just being wrong. For example, at the inception of the Adventist church, we were opposed to organization. In fact, organization in itself was referred to as “Babylon,” meaning that organization was worldly. This week, I fly out to Washington D.C. to observe the Year-end Meetings of the North American Division. In order to get to these meetings, there was much planning and organization that needed to happen on my end. On their end, I can’t imagine the monstrous amount of planning that would need to be done and the several, if not countless, organizational structures needed to make it all happen. Today, if you were to visit nadadventist.org and go to “About our Church”, you would find an option that says “Organizational Structure.”1 You’d find that around the world, the church has 13 divisions and that the General Conference is the highest earthly authority for the church. However, this has not always been the case. Before the General Conference was created, anyone who

advocated for such an organization was seen as radical. The issue I’m trying to bring to light is that while today the General Conference may be the highest earthly authority for the Adventist church, it is not always right. Think of the changes that have already happened in our church. For example: did you know that as late as 1943, the Adventist church segregated the cafeteria in the General Conference? Did you know that, in the same year, a black woman died because she was refused treatment at an Adventist Hospital?2 I didn’t. That’s because no one ever talks about this racism in our church. Looking back at these two events, we can see the error in our church’s judgment and the damage caused by incorrect thinking. Today we don’t segregate our church as far as race goes, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t the issues that need addressing. Do we need reformation today? Are there any issues that our church is backwards on that need attention? If your answer is “No, we’re good,” then sit back, relax and enjoy. However, if your answer is, “Yes, we need change,” then you have a choice: you can either sit and watch, or you can take a public stand against policies that endanger the future of our church. 1 Look up www.nadadventist.org for more information 2 For more information on these topics, look up the books; “Seeking A Sanctuary” by Bull and Lockhart (pp. 197-206), “We Have Tomorrow” by Louis Reynold (pp. 292-322), and “Angels in Ebony” by Jacob Justiss (pp. 43-44).

Peter Flores is a theology major.

85%

said yes YES - 85% “The church has regressed into closed mindedness, which renders the Spirit of God impotent. The church overspends on “earthly treasures” instead of helping the poor—just read Ezekiel 16 as a prophetic indictment against the church. If the church took Jesus’ sermon on the mount seriously the world would look much different today. “Jesus never modeled nor called for stagnation. Instead, He challenged the church of His time.” “Refusing to ordain women. Seriously?” “It makes my heart hurt to read the rhetoric used by both conservatives and liberals within Adventism. It sounds just as hateful as the political rhetoric in the secular world. We are Christians. We should not be acting like this to each other, and over what? Whether we should be loving and accepting of others and whether the concept of present truth is still something the church believes in. The answer to both should be yes.” “Because there’s too many old peeps” “Because as a whole we have lost the focus which is Jesus. When we realize his focus, then we will realize we should be preparing ourselves and then the world for the coming of Christ. We are asleep and need to wake up!”

53 total participants

NO - 15% “Churches, when they get to a certain age or size, do not reform. There’s a reason we don’t know Martin Luther as the man who reformed the Catholic Church. Adventism is no longer a church that can truly change. It is interesting that we are not more comparable to the many different flavors of Baptist - we certainly have the flavors, yet we still pretend that we can all be represented by a single name. But does that have to be a bad thing? Could we set an example to the world by embracing and promoting our differences while still remaining unified in name and spirit? Our current quest for unity comes at the cost of the beliefs of our brothers and sisters. Many who would happily, peacefully learn and grow alongside a variety of viewpoints instead, over time, feel unable to identify as Adventist and give up on what they believe in altogether.”

“The main thing we need is to realize that we are the church, and it isn’t up to someone else to make all the decisions for us. It’s like a group project. If no one shows up or does anything, nothing will happen, and it will fail. I think some more minor reforms are called for.”

See page 8 for next week’s poll question!

“I think it needs changes but not a major reform. That makes it sound dramatic.”

INTERVIEW PASTOR ALEX BRYAN

An Interview with Alex Bryan By Michael Jensen

sis on righteousness by faith. Legalism is the mother of all heresies (whether secular humanism or religious humanism).1 The engine of abundant life runs on the fuel of amazing grace.

*Responses obtained by email interview

When Martin Luther famously nailed his 95 theses to the Wittenberg Castle Church, he consciously ignited a violent debate and helped to start a movement that would ultimately turn the Christian world upside down. Should Adventists in today’s church be willing to spark a similarly controversial and chaotic discussion on crucial issues, or is the potential fallout and upheaval too risky for the church to handle? My own sense of history is that Martin Luther was not focused on the potential fallout in voicing his convictions, but rather he deeply loved his church and felt his convictions were a needed and timely (if potentially painful) word. The Protestant tradition (of which Adventists are squarely a part—in fact Adventists are “protestors of the protestors”) invites members of the church to call for reform. Is there risk in calling for reform? Yes. But it seems to me the greater risk is in passively sitting back while a diseased church gets sicker. I read recently that the number one reason men fail to get an annual checkup is fear that they will learn that something is wrong with their bodies and they will need to make changes in their lifestyle. I think we are a bit in that place right now as a church body—we are afraid of an honest “physical.” How can the Adventist church continue in its progressive approach to “present truth” without fracturing its diverse and sometimes stubborn body of members? I don’t have a good answer. What I know is this: a body in motion tends to stay in motion and a body at rest tends to stay at rest. We need to revive a culture of movement in our church rather than a spiritually sedentary lifestyle. Let’s apply the “health message” to the church body! I actually think we fear change itself more than the particulars of change. We have become complacent. Perhaps some small and needed changes (walking a half-mile) will make us apt to larger needed changes (running a half-marathon). Again, my fear is not disruption at this point but ecclesiastic rigor mortis.

1 We asked him to clarify this statement, but so far, he hasn’t responded.

Michael Jensen is a mechanical engineering major.

Alex Bryan, Senior Pastor, UChurch. (WWUCHURCH.COM) As the world celebrates the 500th anniversary of Luther’s publication of his 95 theses, some people are calling for unity between the factions and denominations generated by the Reformation, while others are endeavoring to rekindle the flames of protest. Should the Adventist church respond by emphasizing its uniqueness or by highlighting its common ground with other Christian movements? Or, can both be done meaningfully at the same time? I don’t think the Adventist church should focus on its differences nor upon its similarities with other churches. Neither is a healthy perspective in my judgment. What we need to focus on is “following the Lamb wherever He goes” (Revelation 4:5). Being unique is not a biblical virtue, seeking compromise is not a biblical virtue. Follow Jesus and let the chips fall where they may. It is often said that history repeats itself and that understanding history is key to preventing mistakes in the future. If you were to urge your church to learn one lesson from the rich history of the Protestant Reformation, what would it be? The Protestant Reformation is most meaningful to me for its empha-

WWU DRAMA UPCOMING PLAY

Silent Sky By Meghann Heinrich “Silent Sky,” the fall show put on by Walla Walla University Drama Department, is opening Nov. 4 on the Donnie Rigby Stage in the Canaday Technology Center at WWU. Performances will be held Nov. 4, 9 and 11 at 8 p.m. and Nov. 5 and 12 at 2 p.m. Tickets will be available for purchase at https://www.wallawalla.edu/campus-life/wwudrama/ current-events/. For more information about this and other upcoming drama department events visit the Walla Walla Univeristy Drama Facebook page. The first read through was held on Oct. 1, marking the beginning of a five-week sprint toward opening night. Rehearsals are in full swing as all involved prepare for the fast-approaching deadline. The cast of five includes both stu-

dents and recent alumni. Madison Turner, cast member and sophomore English major, said they have been rehearsing three hours a night, five nights a week. “Rehearsals are wonderful. It’s hard not to laugh because the show is wonderfully funny,” Turner said. Written by American playwright Lauren Gunderson, the WWU production of “Silent Sky” is directed by Abigail Wissink and Jeremy Reed, both alumni of WWU. The show follows the story of a group of female astronomers working at the Harvard College Observatory in the early 1900s. It highlights these women’s achievements and the impact their findings had on astronomy, giving recognition to individuals who went unrecognized in their time. Meghann Heinrich is a communications major.

Henrietta’s Rhapsody For The Silent Sky

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October 2017 Issue 5 | walla walla university | college place, wa

HISTORY HISTORICAL ENERGY

Rock History: Pink Floyd’s “Animals”

Rebelliously Spooky Times Call for Rebelliously Spooky Album Reviews By Zachary White The autumn of 2017 is brimming with rebellious historical energy. With Oct. 31 marking the 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation, and October and November of this year marking the 100th anniversary of the worker-led Bolshevik Revolution in Russia, political and religious upheaval are on the minds of those who obsess over the past (myself included). In honor of these momentous anniversaries, I have decided to take a step back from my usual focus on a particular historical event or individual. Instead, I am suggesting a soundtrack for you, dear reader, as I know you have pumpkin patches to visit, autumn leaves to admire, spooky films to watch, costumes to select and historic revolts to remember. Along with the many other historical events I have mentioned, 2017 marks the 40th anniversary of Pink Floyd’s 10th studio album, “Animals.” Pink Floyd—known for their dramatically conceptual albums, existentialist lyrics and elaborate live performances—is widely considered to be one of the most influential and commercially successful rock bands of all time. With albums like “The Wall” (1979), “The Dark Side of the Moon” (1973) and “Animals” (1977), the English band dominated the golden age of the concept album and left a lasting imprint on the psychedelic and progressive rock scene. For example, Rolling Stone magazine, in their list of the “50 Greatest Prog Rock Albums of All Time,” places “Animals” at No. 13, “Wish You Were Here” (1975) at No. 4 and “The Dark Side of the Moon” at No. 1.1 While many of Pink Floyd’s albums explore topics such as insanity, time, death and inner turmoil, “Animals” takes a political direction and is heavily inspired by George Orwell’s infamous allegorical novel “Animal Farm.” Published in 1945, “Animal Farm” functioned as an anti-authoritarian critique of Stalinism and the emerging Soviet Union. What is less discussed, however, is that Orwell’s criticism of communist Russia was a left-wing one. In his 1947 essay “Why I Write,” Orwell wrote, “Every line of serious work that I have written since 1936 has been written, directly or

Pink Floyd in 1971. (KOH HASEBE) indirectly, against totalitarianism and for democratic socialism, as I understand it.”2 Furthermore, in a proposed introduction to “Animal Farm” that was rejected by his publishers, Orwell warned that while the U.S.S.R. was crushing dissent by force, Western capitalist societies could do so almost as easily via media censorship.3 Drawing on this radical legacy, Pink Floyd’s primary lyricist, Roger Waters, uses the allegorical framework of Orwell’s “Animal Farm” to conjure up a scathing indictment of capitalism in the 20th century. Regardless of one’s politics, all listeners should be able to enjoy the way in which “Animals” wages a sonic war against the soulless and hierarchical nature of modern society. Even setting the lyrics aside, the music

is pretty darn good. The 40 minute album consists of five tracks. The small inflatable pig on the album cover is a nod to the tracks, “Pigs on the Wing” parts one and two, that bookend the album, “Pigs on the Wing” parts one and two. These short, gentle, and acoustic numbers are two verses of a love song. The lyrics seem to refer to a sort of solidarity and mutual care that is required to resist oppression: “If you didn’t care what happens to me / and I didn’t care what happens to you / We would zig zag our way through the boredom and pain / occasionally glancing up through the rain.” While the meaning of the “pigs on a wing” line is somewhat elusive, one might guess it refers to the absurd nature of wealth-centralization and

the exploitation of the masses by the supposedly pig-like ruling class. At a whopping 17 minutes in length, the second track, “Dogs,” contains five distinct guitar solos (three of them are in the first seven minutes). These samples are considered to be some of Pink Floyd lead-guitarist David Gilmour’s greatest work. Lyrically, “Dogs” is a commentary on the predatory and cutthroat nature of the business world. The protagonist of the song, literally portrayed as an attack dog for the economic elite, is “fitted with a collar and chain” and “given a pat on the back.” As the moral and emotional toll of exploiting others for a living begins to weigh down on him, the protagonist wonders if he too is at the mercy of a bloodthirsty system: “I

gotta admit that I’m a little bit confused / sometimes it seems to me as if I’m just being used.” The third track, “Pigs,” begins with a hypnotic two-tone organ riff rising over a haunting bass guitar solo. The funk-driven verses mock a “greedy” and “ruthless” upper class as lazy and undeserving, gaining exorbitant wealth at the expense of the laboring masses. The song also includes a jab at English conservative activist Mary Whitehouse, who tirelessly campaigned against the mainstream cultural tides of the 1960s, 1970s and 1980s.4 To update the critique for modern times, Pink Floyd frontman Roger Waters, in his 2017 “Us + Them” tour, played “Pigs” with background stage images of U.S. President Donald Trump that accompanied the song. The stunt drew massive criticism, to which Waters responded, “I find it slightly surprising that anybody could have been listening to my songs for 50 years without understanding.” He continued, “Go see Katy Perry or watch the Kardashians. I don’t care.”5 “Sheep,” the fourth track, takes aim at the complacent masses who fall in line with corrupt governmental and economic interests: “Meek and obedient you follow the leader.” Opening with a blues inspired Fender Rhodes Piano solo by keyboardist Richard Wright, the track climaxes via a raging bassline rhythm, screeching organs and vocals which fade into pitch-bending synthesizers, which were made possible by a cross-fading studio technique. During an atmospheric interlude, a robotic voice gives a bizarre retelling of the 23rd Psalm, depicting a shepherd who wishes to butcher his flock: “He maketh me to hang on hooks in high places / He converteth me to lamb cutlets.” The song ends with a dramatic final verse, in which the sheep rise up and overthrow the shepherd. A wild and victorious guitar riff fades into audio of sheep bleating in a pasture, and the album ends with a gentle reprise of “Pigs on the Wing:” “Any fool knows a dog needs a home / A shelter from pigs on the wing.” 1 http://www.rollingstone.com/music/lists/50greatest-prog-rock-albums-of-all-time-20150617/ king-crimson-in-the-court-of-the-crimsonking-1969-20150617 2 http://www.k-1.com/Orwell/site/work/essays/ write.html 3 http://orwell.ru/library/novels/Animal_Farm/ english/efp_go 4 https://www.theguardian.com/books/2012/ nov/11/mary-whitehouse-ban-this-filth-review 5 http://www.nme.com/news/music/roger-waters-anti-trump-critics-2121433

Zachary White is a history and sociology major.

The Cover Art of Pink Floyd’s Animals. (STORM THORGERSON)

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Feature college place, wa | walla walla university

| October 2017 Issue 0

All Hallows’ Eve, 1517 By Gregory Dodds, Ph.D. In a few days we will be marking the 500th anniversary of Oct. 31, 1517, when Martin Luther nailed 95 theses to the door of Castle Church in Wittenberg. Luther’s temerity in publicly challenging the sale of indulgences soon went viral, to use a 21st-Century term, and western Christianity would never be the same again. At the heart of Luther’s revolution were passages in the first three chapters of the book of Romans that led him to a new understanding of the human condition and how fallen humanity is saved through the grace of Jesus Christ. In 1515, Luther began teaching Paul’s epistle to the Romans to his students at Wittenberg University. Perhaps the old adage is true: you only really learn something when you teach it to someone else. This was certainly true for Luther, for it was while he was preparing his lectures that he discovered Paul’s teachings on grace and faith. He would later in life refer to a moment of illumination, a spiritual breakthrough where he suddenly realized that he was saved through faith in God’s grace. Christ’s death on the cross had saved him, and he was free from the anxiety, fear and anguish that had shaped his life as an Augustinian monk. Up until then Luther believed that his sins were inescapable, and all the methods of sacramental repentance only left him more despondent. He had reached a point where he came to hate God. Careful attention to Paul’s words, however, freed him from his agony. He now believed that God’s grace meant unconditional forgiveness and that faith was the mark of that grace in God’s elect. He would eventually define this process as “justification by faith.” While Luther liked to think of this insight as a sudden flash of inspiration from the Holy Spirit, the evidence from his sermons and notes indicates a gradually unfolding understanding of grace and faith beginning in 1515 and growing through and following his famous act with a hammer in October of 1517.

Martin Luther nailing his 95 theses. (MYSTERY OF FAITH BLOG) most appalling manifestation of what he now firmly now believed to be a broken and anti-Christian theology: the sale of papal indulgences, especially those peddled through the circus-like hucksterism and grandiose claims of Johann Tetzel. An indulgence was, technically, a symbolic monetary payment that took the place of a physical penance. Such an indulgence only represented forgiveness of sin if it was

“For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth: to the Jew first, and also to the Greek. For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith.” —Romans 1:16-17, KJV No text was more important to Luther than Romans 1:16-17: “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek. For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith.” (I am using the 1611 KJV simply because it seems appropriate to use a Reformation-era Bible when discussing Luther and the emergence of the theology that inspired the Protestant Reformation. Better yet would be to use Luther’s own German translation or Erasmus’s 1516 Greek New Testament.) In these verses, the entire Gospel, the good news of Jesus, now made sense to Luther. Romans 3:23-24 reaffirmed that salvation was a free gift: “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.” Where once Luther had been frightened by Paul’s words, he now took comfort in Romans 3:12: “There is none that doeth good, no, not one.” The pursuit of perfection was not necessary and, in fact, was not only impossible, but a false theology that destroyed the gospel of Jesus Christ. Luther saw the devil nowhere more clearly in his day than in a theological structure that taught that sins could be accounted for through the church’s system of penance, mortification of the flesh, and the purchase of indulgences. As he read through Romans, however, he became increasingly angry at what he believed was a fundamental corruption of the gospel. Luther’s anger grew until he felt compelled to publicly attack the

joined by a repentant heart. Tetzel, however, was pushing indulgences as a direct way to buy salvation, both for the purchaser and, depending on the indulgence, for relatives who had passed away and were suffering in purgatory. While the Pope and the local Archbishop liked the money Tetzel was generating, Church authorities were quick to blame his excesses for the calamity which was soon to engulf the church. Mocked by reformers and made a scapegoat by the Church, Tetzel would die a broken man a few years later. Perhaps the only one with any sympathy for Tetzel, shockingly, was Luther, who wrote to the dying Tetzel with words of comfort. Five hundred years ago Luther walked to the Castle Church door in Wittenberg and either supervised, directed or held the hammer himself—though that was not something university professors generally did themselves—as the theses that would launch the Reformation were nailed to that public noticeboard. It was a Saturday and the day before the second busiest holy day of the year. Hundreds, likely thousands, of people would be attending the All Souls’ Day services the next morning. The crowds were drawn by the promise of reduced time in purgatory if they gave an offering and venerated Europe’s largest relic collection (18,970 relics). Frederick the Wise’s holy relics were housed in Castle Church and were brought out for display once a year, on All Souls’ Day, for a special papal indulgence. Over 40,000 candles illuminated the objects, creating an awe-inspiring setting. If a penitent venerated all the relics, a total of 1.9 million years would

be removed from that person’s sojourn in purgatory. Thus, the moment that Luther chose to post his challenge to indulgences was not an accident but carefully chosen to not only undermine Tetzel’s traveling show but also to garner attention as the crowds gathered from across the region for the special yearly indulgence. While the initial reaction was not as big as Luther had expected, his 95 theses could not be ignored. A papal excommunication was inevitable unless Luther would back down and recant—that was something Luther would never do. For many Christians, Oct. 31 would remain All Hallows’ Eve, or “Halloween,” but for the Protestant world, Reformation Day was born. We make a mistake if we think that Oct. 31, 1517, for Luther, was primarily about indulgences. Indulgence selling was a symptom, but the real issue for Luther was grace, faith and the gospel, as he had discovered anew in his careful study of Romans. God’s grace not only offered eternal life; it also meant an end to spiritual anxiety in this life. Luther’s understanding of the human condition and God’s grace shared several theological components with his favorite church father, St. Augustine. Perhaps because he was an Augustinian monk, Luther read the works of Augustine very carefully and came to believe that the Church had fallen away from the truths taught by Augustine. Both Luther and Augustine believed that original sin meant that human beings were thoroughly sinful and could only be saved by the gift of grace. Both also believed that faith was “inactive” and predestined by God. What Luther would term “justification by faith” referred to the implantation of faith, by God, into the hearts of those whom God had elected and pre-

The Diet of Worms. (HISTORY.COM)

destined. For many later Protestants, including Adventists, the language of grace and faith would mean something much different. For them, faith was an “active” choice by believers to accept God’s grace for their sins. They would fully agree with Luther that salvation cannot be earned, that it is completely dependent on God’s free gift of grace through Jesus Christ. They would insist, though, that despite the fall, human beings retain free will, that Christ died for everyone, and that salvation was not predestined but available to all who accepted God’s grace. The reformation did not end with Luther but continued on as countless men and women began to study the Bible for themselves. A revolution had begun that would have incredibly far-reaching consequences. Scholars continue to debate the Reformation’s role in the rise of modern society, including its influence on the development of democracy, capitalism, religious liberty, nationalism, human rights and the scientific revolution, among others. Luther himself was, of course, far from perfect and became increasingly dogmatic as he aged. He wrote violently against seditious peasants, viciously attacked Catholics and other Protestant Reformers with whom he disagreed, and condemned the practices of adult baptism and Saturday worship, even to the point of supporting capital punishment for such heresies. While the young Luther wrote about the need for Christians to treat Jews kindly, 20 years later the older Luther’s anti-Semitic writings, eventually republished by the Nazis, helped fuel the horrific persecution of Jews in both the 16th and 20th centuries. While we must not ignore or downplay the problematic aspects of Luther’s revolution and life, there is no question

that his courage and theological insight in 1517 are worthy of celebration and reflection 500 years later.

The Reformation is ongoing. What Luther and other early reformers unleashed, especially the radical idea that everyone should read and interpret the Bible for themselves, continues to shape and reshape global Christianity. The Reformation continued on from Luther, through other reformers and many reforming movements, and to each of us when we read and interpret the Bible for ourselves, when we take responsibility for our own spiritual journey. As Luther understood from reading Romans, God’s grace means that there is no ecclesiastical intermediary controlling our salvation. In the years after posting his 95 theses, Luther wrote that there is a “priesthood of all believers” and that we are all called, ordained and commissioned by God: women, men, and children. This then is both our challenge and our great hope. We each have the responsibility of priesthood, the call to spread the gospel and the glorious hope of eternal life as the free gift of God. There is no better moment than this 500th anniversary to reaffirm, with Paul and with Luther, that “I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth.”1 1 Romans 1:16 (KJV)

Professor Gregory Dodds is the chair of the Department of History and Philosophy.

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October 2017 Issue 5 | walla walla university | college place, wa

WEEK IN FORCAST

October 26-Novem Thursday

Friday

Farmers & Artisans Market @ College Place City Hall Parking Lot, 4-7 p.m.

Museum After Hours: FWWM’s Heritage Research Services Division @ Fort Walla Walla Museum, 5-6 p.m.

Saturday

Follow2Lead Fall Weekend Launch Operation Christmas Free Pumpkin Carving @ Super 1 Foods, 4:30-6:00 p.m.

Raptors of the Region @ begin at Walla Walla High School, 1-3:30 p.m.

National Pumpkin Day

Eagles Craft Bazaar @ Walla Walla Eagles #26, 8 a.m. - 4 p.m.

National Day of the Deployed

National Black Cat Day National Breadstick Day

Sunday

Follow2Lead Fall Weekend Downtown Farmers Market @ Crawford Park @ 9 a.m. - 1 p.m.

Nature Kids: Birds, Bats, and Bugs, Oh My @ Walla Walla Public Library, 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. Men’s Soccer vs. Multinomah (Senior Night) @ WEC, 7:309:30 p.m ASWWU Barn Party @ WEC, 8 - 11 p.m. National Chocolate Day National Make a Difference Day

MEDIA + TECH TWIN PEAKS

Twin Peaks: Terror in the Woods By Matt Fennell Well, here we are, almost at the end of the last full week of October. Crazy, isn’t it? “Stranger Things 2” drops at midnight, Barn Party is Saturday night, Halloween is on Tuesday and then it’s a no-holds-barred downhill jam into the holiday season! (And you know I’ll be writing about all my favorite holiday stuff. Start making the eggnog... or don’t, because actually eggnog doesn’t keep for very long.)

around the town. “Twin Peaks” is a box of opposites—comfy and unsettling, hilarious and terrifying, beautiful and schlocky, perfectly normal and frustratingly surreal—but somehow, it all works. It’s a really neat show that is at least partly responsible for the focused, almost-cinematic TV shows that we enjoy today.

MF: For me, I think it was Bob crawling over the couch and screaming at the camera. And it’s so uncomfortable, like all those shots of just like a fan spinning. JH: That’s David Lynch. He makes you feel uncomfortable. It’s not jump scares—it’s scares that stick with you.

MF: Moving on again, the PNW setting: I love hearing all these names of places I recognize, like the Tri-Cities and Snoqualmie.

Now, I’m still trying to figure out exactly what this column is going to be, so I figured I’d mix it up this week. A few nights ago, I met up with one of my best buds (and fellow “Twin Peaks” fan), Dustin Rose and his friend Joshua Huh. I wanted to find out why they loved the show and if they had any thoughts about what any of it meant.

DR: Like, Laura’s mom, when she’s screaming: “I don’t care what you think,“ that’s intense. I think also that it makes you confront stuff. Uncomfortable stuff. It’s a lot like the feeling at the movies, where everything is big, and you can really feel it.

DR: It’s the most PNW show. All that coffee!

But, like I said, we’ve still got a bit of October left, so let’s talk about spooky things while we can. Last week I said that I’d talk about “Twin Peaks,” a TV show created by surrealist director David Lynch JH: It’s really funny and police procedural sometimes and writer Mark Frost. cringy other times; It ran on ABC for it just kinda makes two seasons in 1990 you tense up all and 1991, and then over, like “Requiem spawned a prequel for a Dream” or movie and a limited “Whiplash.” There’s run event series this so much real emopast summer. The tion here. show’s central quesMF: So does it mean tion, “Who killed Lauanything? ra Palmer?” captivated a nation and continues JH: There’s so many to hook new viewers little things that have (like myself) every day. meaning. “The owls “Twin Peaks” follows are not what they FBI Special Agent Dale seem.” Everything Cooper who is called is not what it seems. So in to the tiny town of many secrets, and lies, Twin Peaks, Washthe deeper you go. You Twin Peaks opening scene (LYNCH/FROST PRODUCTIONS) ington, to investigate learn to not trust anyone. Laura’s death and DR: You know in the new season, with another, possibly-related, attempted Matt Fennell: Let’s start with an easy the doppelgangers, that idea that murder, which both fit the M.O. of a one: what did you think was scary there is good and evil in all of us. mysterious serial killer that the FBI about Twin Peaks? has been hunting. Cooper deals not only with the town’s strange, secretive residents, but also with a colorful cast of law enforcement officers, a plethora of pies, an abundance of black coffee, and the horrible ancient evil that may or may not be living in the dark woods

Joshua Huh: The idea that human nature is so dark and evil, even without the introduction of weird paranormal stuff. Dustin Rose: Wyndham Earle, in the second season, the horrible stuff he did to people, like that drifter...

MF: Yeah, absolutely, and like, does it mean anything? Only if it means something to you. And like some of it goes nowhere. DR: You know what else goes nowhere? James Hurley! Ughh. His

scenes aren’t important at all! But there are nice small nowhere moments, like with Big Ed at the Gas Farm in the new season, just looking out there.

JH: Where exactly is it? Because like they say it’s just south of Canada, but the Great Northern is at Snoqualmie Falls in real life. MF: I think the exact location is kinda fudged, but it’s in a spot that is so familiar and like gives us a point to relate to, something to hang onto. And I think that’s part of why it’s still relevant. JH: Yeah, I always love to tell people that it’s a 2016 show set in the 90s, made in the 90s. DR: Exactly, it’s like Stranger Things. MF: That old modern feeling. DR: And like, it had a Native American character, a transgender character—it was progressive, ahead of its time. MF: And aside from those characters, onto the weird ones. They feel like stereotypes right? Until they don’t anymore! Like I was super frustrated with the show at the beginning—how weird everyone was. But it teaches you, like, what they’re about pretty quickly. DR: It’s an incredible lesson in learning to interact with people who are different from you. How to care. JH: Agent Cooper has such a sense of goodness. Like when he shows up and tells Truman that he’s gonna be in charge, and not to question

him[...], and you think it’s going to be this big serious thing but then they end up being best friends. MF: Okay, to wrap up, do you think this show is uplifting or depressing? DR: Oh wow, well, isn’t it both? It makes you feel everything. And that’s life! What’s life if you can’t feel both of those things? I give Twin Peaks Episodes 1-16 four out of five pine trees. (4/5) The latter half of the second season kind of falls apart, so it only gets two and a half out of five pine trees. (2.5/5) But, the second season finale is amazing. It gets five out of five pine trees. (5/5) Finally, “Fire Walk With Me” (the movie) gets three out of five pine trees (3/5) Season three simply cannot be measured on this pine tree system. It’s just too weird? And good? But also just really weird. (?/?) So that’s 14.5/20 pine trees and a big ol’ question mark hovering menacingly over those trees.

“Twin Peaks” is available to watch on Netflix and Hulu. If you like David Fincher movies (“Zodiac,” “Se7en,” “Gone Girl,” etc.) or those kind of stressful things Josh mentioned (“Requiem For a Dream,” “Whiplash”), or weird kind of funny shows (Dustin mentioned “Angie Tribecca,” I’d say “Gravity Falls” or “The X-Files” also work), I think you’ll enjoy “Twin Peaks”! Next week we’ll talk “Stranger Things 2.” See you then! Matt Fennell is a computer engineering major.

FOOD EFFICIENT EATS

Midterm Survival Mode By Hannah Thiel Hey everyone! I hope you all have been making it through midterms week. Since this is a notoriously tough week for everyone, I thought I should do an easy recipe with ingredients you probably already have in your dorm room. I actually made this myself last week on a busy evening, and I was surprised at how well it turned out! You probably already have the main ingredient lying around your dorm/apartment/house: ramen noodles. Personally, I like ramen, but the seasonings that are included get kind of boring. Last week I needed something quick but filling to put together for dinner, so I just added a few things to my noodles and made a delicious meal! This week I’m not providing so much of a recipe as a list of ingredients you can try combining with your ramen to make it more interesting. I didn’t include amounts of each ingredient, because the amounts don’t matter so much with this recipe. You

can experiment and find what you like! The only ingredients that I think you’d want to be careful with are the soy sauce, ginger, and salt.

Last week, I added:

Keep in mind too, that this should be just as easy to make for those in the dorm as for those off campus. If you’re in the dorm, remember that your hall should have dishes for making food if you don’t have them (pots, pans, etc.) so just check the kitchen or with your RA for the hall dishes. Also you can always get the ingredients you don’t have at the caf! If you already have ramen but don’t have anything else, you can grab a takeout box at the caf and get your favorite veggies at the salad station and then get some seasonings over by the sushi station (for example soy sauce, sriracha, sweet chili sauce)

Chard

Onion Garlic Chopped Carrot Ginger Soy sauce Salt Here’s some more ingredients you could try: Cabbage Sesame seeds Cucumber Bell Pepper Hard boiled egg Tofu Mushrooms

First, I boiled some water, then added the chopped vegetables. I’d start with adding in the vegetables that take longest to cook (onion, carrots, cabbage) before adding the vegetables that won’t take as long (bell pepper, chard). After the vegetables were mostly cooked, I added in the noodles. I then added the salt, soy sauce, and other flavorings to taste. You don’t have to cook all the veggies. If you wanted to add some extra crunch to your noodles, you could leave out some of the vegetables and add them to the top once you’re done cooking. I think cucumber, carrot, and sesame seeds would be especially good as toppings. Anyways, I hope I was able to give you some doable ways to feed yourself for the next day or two. You’ve almost made it through the whole week! You can do it! Hannah Thiel is an art major.

walla walla university

| October 2017 Issue 5

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mber 1 Monday Family Photo Opportunity @ Walla Walla Valley Academy, 1-7 p.m. 19th Century Party @ Fort Walla Walla Museum, 2-3 p.m.

Tuesday

Halloween Story Time & Craft @ Plaza Way Library, 4:30 5:30 p.m.

National Speak Up for Service Day National Candy Corn Day

Fall Carnival - Annual Fundraiser @ Children’s Museum of Walla Walla, 10 a.m. - 3 p.m.

Reformation Day CommUnity with Professor Greg Dodds, 11 a.m. Reformation, A Conversation with Martin Luther @ Village Hall, 7-8 p.m.

Wednesday

Downtown Trick-or-Treat @ Main Street Businesses, 3-5 p.m. CLIMB and TREAT @ Whitman College Climbing Center, 4-10 p.m.

National Cat Day

National Knock-Knock Jokes Day

National Hermit Day

Halloween

Native American Heritage Month Begins ASWWU Spiritual Screening of “Luther” @ Conard Chapel, 6:308:30 p.m. Reformation, A Conversation with Martin Luther @ Village Hall, 7-8 p.m. Live Cinema: “Coriolanus” Royal Shakespeare Company @ The Gesa Power House Theatre, 1-6 p.m. National Calzone Day

CULTURE

Barn Party

APPLES

How to Get the Best Apples When Your State Produces a Ton of Apples

ASWWU Social will be hosting Barn Party in the WEC at 7:30 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 28.

By Daphne Novak

(If you’re in Business Club,

Fall days in the Northwest can be some of the best times to go out and get those last pieces of fresh fruit before the snow. We live in Washington, a glorious place that grows about 2.5 million tons of apples of all different varieties for the United States and for global trade. Washington apple growers produce six out of every 10 apples consumed by people in the United States.1 Basically, apples are cool; there are so many varieties and Washington is pretty much the reason why I had an apple this morning. However, just because Washington produces tons and tons of apples it does not mean that all the apples they produce are good. You all know “that” apple—the one you struggled to eat because it was flavorless or the flesh was just so mealy. I know all I can think about when I eat those types of apples is, “Should it really be this hard to eat a little healthier?” Anyways, fall is the time to get some really cool apples. I went apple picking for the first time last year (my junior year) and I was very perturbed at myself for not having started picking apples sooner. I just loved being able to choose from literally 50 varieties of apples. Now, you could just go to the store or stuff some cafeteria apples into your jacket and continue to eat sad apples, or you could make a trip out of

your apple shopping spree and actually get some really good ones. Here are two great apple orchards: Davis Orchards Ah, of course, how could I not talk about Davis Orchards? Davis Orchards is a great option for its close proximity to Walla Walla University. Located in Milton-Freewater, Davis Orchards has a pretty large orchard, but the variety is kind of lacking. However, it’s local, so that makes up for the fewer choices, and their apples are pretty yummy. Also, you can just get Davis Orchard apples at Andy’s, to be honest. However, you will pay a lot more at Andy’s, whereas

(DAPHNE NOVAK)

you can get a large box (which is several pounds) of apples from Davis Orchards for only $8-16 depending on the variety of apple. Davis Orchards is open from 9 a.m to 5 p.m. every day except Saturday. Kiyokawa Farms This farm is the reason why I’m writing this article. It is one of my favorite places to visit in Oregon. I should say up front that this farm is about three hours away in Parkdale, Oregon, in the Hood River area. Anyways, remember that first-time apple picking experience I mentioned above? That was at Kiyokawa Farms. They have so many varieties of not only apples but also pears (Pears are technically their main focus; they have 100 acres of pear trees and 40 acres of apple trees). I first heard of this farm when I heard of the native to Oregon and Washington Mountain Rose (alternatively called the Hidden Rose) apple, an heirloom2 variety discovered by Airle, Oregon, native, Bill Schulz. This particular type of apple is pinkfleshed! I was

completely blown away at the thought of a pink fleshed apple.3 Also, Mountain Rose apples are only commercially grown in the Hood River area out of the entire U.S.! How cool is that? A few weeks later, my fiancée and I, on the way to Portland, made a stop at Kiyokawa Farms. It was better than I expected. The drive was absolutely stunning. Aside from growing Mountain Rose apples, they grow other pinkand red-fleshed apples (like my new favorite red-fleshed apple, the Scarlet Surprise) and so many varieties of pears. My eyes were opened the world of apple and pear varieties. I bought at least one of each type of apple and pear. This place is honestly a treasure of the Northwest. Kiyokawa Farms makes a great day trip. Sure, it is a long drive but Hood River and Parkdale also offer some great restaurants. Kiyokawa Farms is open from Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., and Saturday through Sunday, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.

1 All of these lovely facts come from the highly reliable source; http://bestapples.com/resources-teachers-corner/fun-facts/ 2 Heirlooms aren’t just for tomatoes 3 These are the types of things I get excited about

Daphne Novak is a psychology major.

be sure to come at 7:00 p.m. for the VIP experience.)

Different ASWWU departments will be hosting booths with a variety of games and activities, such as bicycle obstacle courses, jousting and a dunk tank featuring your favorite professors! There will be on-stage activities with prizes, including the classic costume contest. Be sure to pick up a waiver from the dorms, Atlas or Caf so you can avoid the long lines. Also, bring your spare dollars and coins to play some games that support Global Service’s Haiti project! We hope to see you there!

OUTDOORS DIETRICH

Delusions of Grandeur By Niqolas Ruud “We got the Schlurd, our name for our Suburban, stuck, and so Grady and I peed in front of the tires to melt the snow,” said Coleman Dietrich, a junior biology major. “Mason didn’t notice and started digging the tires out from the snow with his hands. I didn’t tell him until he had dug them out,” he said laughing. Looking for some kind of condensed Saturday adventure and eager to test out Dietrich’s new mountain bike, our three heroes set out to ride an 18-mile trail running from the top of Tiger Canyon to the parking lot at South Fork’s trailhead. The trail was fabled to be quite an experience. Mason Parks, junior civil engineering major, said, “We had delusions of grandeur for some reason.” The story began as all good ones do—in the morning, around 10. This was a late start for Parks who, according to his roommate, another junior engineering major, Tyler Humphries, “often gets up at 4 a.m.” The late start can easily be accredited to Grady Dietrich, a freshman business major and fledgling associate of the elder Dietrich. The younger Dietrich was still in the shower when Parks arrived at the Dietrich pad. The trio arrived at the trailhead around 1 p.m. after a surprisingly long

drive due to a foot and a half of unexpected snow. It was a “perfect day,” Parks said, “until the Suburban got stuck.”

we would float on the snow,” Parks said. But as it turned out, the trio had to hike, bikes on shoulders and feeling really hardcore, an estimated five miles before the snow subsided enough to ride safely.

The elder Dietrich and his likenamed compatriot, after exhausting all available cardboard and willpower in attempts to free the vehicle, decided it would be best to urinate in front of the stuck tires to melt the snow.

As it turns out, the weather this specific Saturday was perfect. It was sunny, and the sun was out; a great combination for a fantastic day outside.¹ Even the padawan Dietrich said something about the pleasant weather: “It was a seemingly nice Sabbath afternoon hike until we realized we were hiking through a foot and a half of snow.”

“I dug out all the snow from in front of the tires,” Parks said. “Then after I got it all out, Coleman told me what they had done.” After the resulting fistfight, our heroes thought it best to act like children and forget about the incident, as they had quickly become distracted by the imminent snowy ride.

A very satisfied customer, elder Dietrich, takes his “For some newest purchase for a walk in the snow. (MASON PARKS) reason we thought

longer and longer. Parks shared that he started to become delusional along the way: “I fancied the thought of spending the night, so I was glad I had brought my survival kit.” When pressed to tell me of the survival kit’s contents, he said, “I brought a lighter. You see my thoughts were if we can make fire we can survive anything!” Through the entire ordeal, the boys never lost their positive attitude. For instance, Parks is quoted to have said, “I don’t cuss very much, but I had this insatiable urge to use a lot of profanity. Harsh words were needed to describe my suffering.” The trio arrived at Parks’s previously-stashed Subaru just after 7 p.m. that evening. Upon starting the car, Parks, the elder Dietrich and the fledgling associate Dietrich sped off in the direction of Taqueria Yungapeti because, as Parks said, “the Taqueria burrito was calling to us.”²

“We were in shorts and tennis shoes,” Parks said. “My ankles got a little chilly.”

The fellas ate the felt physically sick, wanting to throw up and fall asleep.

The elder Dietrich seemed to be having a better time as he laughed and frolicked through his “perfect biking snow,” on his new bike.

“I swore I’d never mountain bike again,” Parks said. “Mountain biking is a stupid sport.”

“I took a bail,” Parks said, “and one of them took a bail off the trail a little bit too.” It was a rough few hours, as the lads kept telling themselves to go “just a little bit further, just a little bit further” over and over again. “We didn’t bring any food, so I was getting low blood sugar,” Parks said, “and we were tired.” The miles dragged on and on for the boys, and the shadows began to get

1 Not an advertisement for the sun. 2 Not an advertisement for Taqueria Yungapeti (however, Taqueria, if you would like to sponsor this weekly column, I’m sure we could work something out involving a few burritos and some very kind words).

Niqolas Ruud is a theology major.

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October 2017 Issue 5 | walla walla university | college place, wa

OPINION BEING SOCIAL IN REAL LIFE

Let’s Be More Than Media By Savanna Pardo Do yourself a favor, put down the phone, and turn off the laptop. Don’t check that Twitter notification, stop reading that article about Trump and log out of Facebook. Give yourself a minute or two to realize that there’s more to acknowledge than memes and twitter hashtags. Don’t surround yourself only with the content you read on the fiveinch screen of your phone, stop living through media. Take a quick second and look around you, acknowledge your setting.

Lift your eyes from your phone and realize that there is more in the world than the havoc you are constantly reminded about online. It’s funny that we feel we must keep up with the media to know what’s going on around us, when in reality, we don’t know what’s going on around us because we are too caught up in the media. As I sit and write this article in a coffee shop downtown, I see only two people without an electronic device within their reach, and they are the baristas. The world has so much to offer and show if only you were to look up from your laptop.

Just by lifting my head from my writing, I can see the crisp orange and yellow leaves fall to the ground. I notice the beautiful string of bright lights that hang from the brick building across the street, and how they sway in the cool autumn breeze. I spot a cupcake shop that I never knew existed. I receive smiles from people passing by the coffee shop. I take in the smell of freshly brewed espresso and the the sound of catchy coffee shop music. I watch as the couple across the shop converse and laugh without acknowledging anyone else. As we sit and bury our heads in our phones, life continues to pass us

by. We tend to miss the little moments that life offers because we’re too busy scrolling down our facebook feed. Life presents us with so many beautiful moments, yet we feel the need to capture them on our phone rather than to live them out. It’s in our generations nature to post our lives on Instagram for others to see. All the while we are missing the true essence of that moment just to snap a picture for show. Is missing out on life’s little moments really worth the likes? There is nothing wrong with keeping up with the times. It’s okay to post memes and watch Kylie Jenner’s

entire snap story; however, the unconscious desire to do so is not acceptable. Social media has never been a need, but we are making it one. So, do yourself a favor and put down the phone, close the laptop and live a little. Take in all of life’s offerings as they come, so you don’t have to depend on your media accounts to show you how “Instagram-worthy” your life actually is.

Savanna Pardo is an English major.

OPINION HOW DO YOU MEASURE A MINUTE?

Wait a Second

Time Is Terrible But Works Anyway By Parker Bailey Time. The system we have come to know and love (or hate if you’re like me) just because that’s what everyone else does. It’s international systems like these that adopt society instead of society adopting them. At one point it was decided that time would be measured in seconds, minutes, hours, etc. It’s seconds that are the worst. The Hour Michael Lombardi, a metrologist1 in the Time and Frequency Division at the National Institute of Standards and Technology in Boulder, Colorado, credits the division of time into parts to ancient Egypt. The Egyptians around this time (1500 B.C.) were using the duodecimal2 system which they incorporated into their sundials. The more advanced sundials were divided into 12 parts. The reason the Egyptians used the duodecimal system was because the number 12 was significant to their culture: “The importance of the

number 12 is typically attributed either to the fact that it equals the number of lunar cycles in a year or the number of finger joints on each hand (three in each of the four fingers, excluding the thumb), making it possible to count to 12 with the thumb.”3 This system is likely the origin of the hour that we still use today. It works, don’t get me wrong, but in a society that revolves around the decimal4 system, it is rather inconvenient from a statistical and numerical point of view. The Minute The origin of the minute is a bit fuzzy. What’s clear is that it is based on the sexagesimal5 system. This system was used by the Babylonian astronomers for dividing the night into equal parts without the use of a sundial. This is likely the origin of the minute as 60 equal parts of an hour. This system works, but I don’t like it. The sexagesimal system is almost useless except with minutes and seconds.

The Second The second is the one that really gets me. It’s so pointless. It’s based off the same system as the minute, with 60 seconds to a minute, but it gets worse. Seconds used to come from astronomy like the minutes. The second was originally defined more generally as 1/86,400th of the mean solar day, but as technology progressed and certain planetary motions continued to go unaccounted for in the system, the second was redefined in 1967. This redefinition is what bothers me. According to Jonathan Betts, a Curator of Horology at the Royal Observatory Greenwich, National Maritime Museum, “the 13th General Conference on Weights and Measures provisionally defined the second as 9,192,631,770 cycles of radiation associated with the transition between the two hyperfine levels of the ground state of the cesium-133 atom.” This is all great and lovely for those of us who have access to cesium in its ground state at zero Kelvin.

Are there not better ways of keeping time? Can we not have 100 seconds to a minute, 100 minutes to an hour, and 100 hours to a day? I want to go as far to say 100 days in a year, but I realize that the day was defined by an omniscient being, so I can’t argue with that. If only we were to unify to a decimal system of time, accounting would be easier, scheduling would be simpler and math involving time would be easier to compute. There are many things that would go smoother with a different system. I realize that to transition an entire planet from one system to another is practically impossible. Until we all understand why our planet spins a full 360 degrees (sexagesimal) 365.242199 times every 12 months (duodecimal), we will just have to use what we have. Let me know what you think by taking this survey. According to the last few surveys, it takes less than 30 seconds (ugh, seconds), so just do it.

PRESS RELEASE A NEW OPENING

Little Theater Opening “A Few Good Men” Walla Walla, Wash. –The Little Theatre of Walla Walla will open the 2017-2018 season with “A Few Good Men” beginning Friday, November 3 at 7:30 p.m. with performances through Sunday, November 19. “A Few Good Men” is written by Aaron Sorkin, creator and producer of NBC’s “The West Wing” and HBO’s “The Newsroom”. The play is directed by George Smith and Kay Fenimore-Smith, produced by Barb McKinney, and stars more than 20 local actors. Loosely based on a true story, this 1989 Broadway hit examines the circumstances and the trial of two Marines for complicity in the death of a fellow Marine at Guantanamo Bay. A young Navy lawyer expects an easy plea bargain, but is prodded by a female member of his defense team to fully defend his clients and, in so doing, puts the military mentality and the Marine code of honor on trial. “A Few Good Men” was adapted into a 1992 film starring Tom Cruise, Jack Nicholson, and Demi Moore which was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Picture. Although this version of the script was updated following the release of the film, the Little Theatre of Walla Walla’s production stands on its own and is not an imitation of the film.

“A Few Good Men” is a legal drama containing adult content and strong language, and is produced by permission of Samuel French. Performances at the Little Theatre of Walla Walla are November 3, 4, 10, 11, 12, 17, 18 & 19. Friday and Saturday performances begin at 7:30 p.m. Sunday performances begin at 2:00 p.m. Tickets to “A Few Good Men” ($20 Adults, $15 Students/Youth) will be available online at www.ltww.org beginning on Tuesday, October 31. Season ticket holders may call the box office at 509-529-3683 on Monday, October 30 to reserve their seats in advance. A $50 season pass consists of four seats used in any combination during the four productions of the season. The Little Theatre of Walla Walla is a 100% volunteer nonprofit organization, which has been producing live theater in Walla Walla since 1944. For more information about the entire 2017-2018 season of live theater at The Little Theatre of Walla Walla, please visit: www.ltww.org.

“A Few Good Men” poster. (LTWW.ORG)

SURVEY TALKING ABOUT PUERTO RICO

Next Week’s Poll Next week’s question: “Should the U.S. federal government be doing more to help Puerto Rico recover from Hurricane Maria?” https://goo.gl/F7588q

1 Someone who performs metrology work involving precision measurements and comparison of physical quantities such as mass, length, time, force, speed, voltage and current. 2 Base 12 (i.e. 24 hours, 12 months, 12 inches, etc.) 3 https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/experts-time-division-days-hours-minutes/ 4 Base 10 (i.e. 10, 100, 1000, etc.) 5 Base 60 (i.e. angles & geographic coordinates) https://physics.nist.gov/cuu/Units/second.html https://www.britannica.com/science/second

http://bit.ly/2xeZ6VQ

Parker Bailey is an engineering major.