Volume 97, Issue 10 by The Collegian

6 December 2012 Volume 97 Issue 10

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Emily Muthersbaugh HEAD LAYOUT EDITOR Ricky Barbosa

INTRODUCTION

HEAD COPY EDITOR Cedric Thiel HEAD PHOTO EDITOR Josh McKinney CONTENT DIRECTOR Philip Duclos NEWS EDITOR Jaclyn Archer RELIGION EDITORS Rob Folkenberg Nick Ham COLUMNIST Rebecca Brothers CREATIVE WRITING EDITOR Kayla Albrecht OPINION EDITORS Elliott Berger Grant Gustavsen FEATURE EDITORS Braden Anderson Elizabeth Jones James Mayne Christian Robins CULTURE EDITOR Grant Perdew DIVERSIONS EDITOR Eric Weber TRAVEL EDITOR Megan Cleveland HEALTH & WELLNESS EDITOR Karl Wallenkampf SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY EDITOR Spencer Cutting FOOD EDITOR Amy Alderman

Photo by Kate Gref

SPORTS EDITORS Trevor Boyson Tye Forshee THE HEEL EDITOR Julian Weller STAFF WRITERS Amy Alderman Casey Bartlett Jennifer Buyco Hilary Nieland Annie Palumbo Daniel Peverini LAYOUT DESIGNERS Allison Berger Alix Harris Greg Khng Cory Sutton COPY EDITORS Amy Alderman Rebecca Brothers Carly Leggitt Ryan Robinson DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Alex Wickward OFFICE MANAGER Heather Eva SPONSOR Don Hepker EDITORIAL BOARD Braden Anderson Jaclyn Archer Elliott Berger Philip Duclos Rob Folkenberg Grant Gustavsen Elizabeth Jones James Mayne Emily Muthersbaugh Christian Robins Julian Weller AD SALES MANAGER Brenda Negoescu aswwu.ads@wallawalla.edu

Photo by Ivan Cruz

Photo by Anthony White

Context

3–7

News ASWWU/Admin Week in Review Week in Forecast News

Perspective

8–11

Opinion Religion Column Creative Writing

Photo by Anthony White

Life 12–16 Diversions Foodie Culture Sports Travel

If you are interested in contributing to The Collegian, contact our page editors or the editor-in-chief at: aswwu.collegian@wallawalla.edu. The Collegian is boosted by regularly incorporating a wide range of student perspective. Cover Photo Credit: Erik Sanders, Joshua McKinney, Alison Berger, ASWWU. The Collegian is the official publication of ASWWU. Its views and opinions are not necessarily the official stance of Walla Walla University or its administration, faculty, staff, or students. Questions, letters, and comments can be mailed to aswwu.collegian@wallawalla.edu or emily.muthersbaugh@wallawalla.edu. This issue was completed at 2:12 a.m. on 6 December 2012.

The Collegian | Volume 97, Issue 10 | 204 S. College Avenue | College Place, WA 99324 | collegian.wallawalla.edu

NEWS

Generation. Youth. Christ. Hilary Nieland Staff Writer

The Generation. Youth. Christ. conference (GYC), previously the General Youth Conference, will take place in Seattle Dec. 28, 2012, through Jan. 1, 2013. GYC is a movement created in 2002 by a group of college students who wanted to bring youth back to the fundamental Adventist beliefs. The movement seeks to “mobilize existing youth and young adult ministries that are fully committed to the distinctive message and mission of the Adventist church towards the proclamation of the Three Angels’ Messages” (as per the GYC mission statement on their website). The conference includes activities such as personal devotion, small groups, seminars, and networking. There is also an outreach program during the conference when attendees go door to door to pray with people and distribute Bible study aids. GYC, which continues to be led by young Adventists, was also originally intended to be a way to minister to Adventist students on secular college campuses and help them feel more connected to the church. The first conference took place

at Pine Springs Ranch in the Southeastern California Conference. Almost 425 people attended, as opposed to the expected 250 people. Since 2002, the movement has grown immensely. This year, approximately 2,100 people signed up during early registration alone.

typical youth. He speculates that after the conference ended for the day on Sabbath, Dec. 31, 2011, many attendees changed from their conservative Sabbath attire and joined the New Year’s Eve parties nearby. Cork suggests that Adventist youth in general have very different lives than the ones they portray when attending GYC. However, Cork believes this contrast is acceptable as the conference is a place where the whole spectrum of young Adventists can come together in order to understand their faith and try to make a difference.

“Young Adventists can come together in order to understand their faith and try to make a difference.”

Some youth ministries have been critical of GYC, calling the the self-proclaimed “grassroots” movement too conservative. Justin McNeilus, president of GYC, responds to such criticisms in an interview with Bill Knott, editor of Adventist Review, by stating that GYC “isn’t ‘conservative’ — it’s Adventist.” GYC leadership maintains that there is nothing extreme about the movement; it is simply a call for youth to return to core Adventist doctrine. Another opinion is voiced by Bill Cork, a writer for Spectrum. After attending last year’s conference, Cork commented on his belief that Adventist youth who attend GYC are not that different from

This year’s GYC, titled “Acts: The Revolution Continues” will feature speakers including Mark Finley, David Asscherick, and John Bradshaw. If you are interested in attending, registration is open through Thursday, Dec. 20, at 10 p.m. To register, go to gycweb.org/registration.

Changes in Education Certificaton Annie Palumbo

Staff Writer

New state requirements are changing the way the School of Education and Psychology certifies its teachers. As it currently stands, both elementary and secondary education majors spend 300 hours in the classroom during their student teaching experience, but soon this number will be raised to 480 hours, which must be completed over one school year. According to Dr. Bob Egbert, acting chair, these changes were handed down two years ago from the Washington State Board

of Education, and Walla Walla University is now in a grace period as it attempts to make the scheduling changes needed to accommodate the new requirements. Student teachers, instead of spending one quarter full-time in a classroom, will spend one year as a part-time student teacher, while also taking classes at the university. By combining theory and practice, graduating teachers will be more prepared for life as a full-time teacher. Student teachers will stay in the valley to accomplish their student teaching, making placement more complicated, but a benefit for teachers in the valley will be having one student teacher over the course of a year instead of a new one each quarter, reducing stress on students and making transitions smoother.

Egbert says the new requirements will not add extra quarters to the education major, and graduating in four years is still possible. In his opinion, these changes are “long overdue,” as other majors — like psychology — require their graduating seniors to complete 500 or more hours before graduation. Egbert says that to be taken seriously as a professional, 300 hours is not enough to prepare a teacher for the classroom, and requiring 480 hours will be beneficial for all. Chair Dr. Julian Melgosa is on sabbatical this quarter, and many decisions still to be made will wait until next quarter, when he returns.

CONTEXT BY THE

NUMBERS

$2.5

MILLION

Grant by the Gates Foundation to Philadelphia public and charter schools to increase collaboration.

450

Light-years away L1527 is, a newly created solar system.

118,000 Jobs added in November, according to ADP.

11,000 Jobs Citigroup is cutting worldwide.

CONTEXT

WEEK IN

REVIEW Photo by Ivan Cruz

Vespers: Garrett Speyer 30 November WWU alumnus Garrett Speyer presented a vespers talk on the topic of “Dirt. Rocks. and a Man After God’s Own Heart.” Following vespers, a prayer vigil and JAM (Jesus and Music) session were held.

Photo by Ivan Cruz

Messiah Walla Walla Symphony Concert 2 December The Walla Walla Symphony and the Mid-Columbia Mastersingers performed the Messiah in the University Church. The performance was well received by the university as well as by community members.

Photo by Allison Berger

Photo by Anthony White

ASWWU Dodgeball 1 December Groups of students threw away their dead week worries Saturday night in the WEC for some entertaining games of dodgeball. There were two $100 prizes, one for best costume and one for the winners of the tournament.

The Importance of Being Earnest 1–2 December wwudrama opened this witty, two-hour play by Oscar Wilde in Village Hall; the play is directed by Diana Farnsworth.

Photo by Greg Khng

Big Band and Steel Drum Christmas Concert 5 December A holiday program was preformed in the WWVA Auditorium. Brandon Beck directed the Steel Drum Band, and Michael Agidius directed the Big Band. Photo by Joshua McKinney

CONTEXT

#thecollegian

WEEK IN

FORECAST

@heatherie_note

Photo by Allison Berger

Photo by Ican Cruz

Thursday | 6 DEC

Friday |

The Importance of Being Earnest

Pearl Harbor Day

45° 37°

8 p.m. Village Hall

7 DEC 46° 28°

Christmas Concert: “At the Door” 6 & 8 p.m. University Church

@carlybar

@brooklynnthirteen

Photo by Allison Berger

Photo by Alex Barcelo

Saturday |

8 DEC 37° 30°

Christmas Banquet by BSCF 7 p.m. SAC

Warren Miller’s Flow State 7 p.m. WEC

The Importance of Being Earnest 8 p.m. Village Hall

Sunday |

9 DEC 41° 39°

The Importance of Being Earnest 8 p.m. Village Hall

Amy Alderman’s Birthday

CONTEXT SENATE UPDATE

ASWWU

ASWWU’s New Marketing VP Jennifer Buyco Staff Writer

New Business F.L. 6 — Grip Tape for Sittner Fire Escape F.L. 7 — ASWWU Budget Update F.L. 9 — Exercise Equipment for Foreman Gym F.L. 10 — Recycling Bins for Conard Hall

On Nov. 30, ASWWU employed a new marketing vice president, Eric Weber, a junior communications major and marketing minor. The MVP’s job is to communicate with all of the different departments of ASWWU and to properly market and advertise for events throughout the school year. Since he was an art major his freshman year, Weber has taken a lot of design classes, allowing him to bring his unique perspective to ASWWU. “While technical design skills

are essential for every designer, I have invested more of my time in the artistic aspects of design,” says Weber. “I am passionate about marketing and advertising, and I enjoy being a leader on campus.” According to Emily Oliver, ASWWU president, the ASWWU cabinet thought that reinstating the marketing department could help them reach students better. This MVP position exists now because ASWWU decided that a marketing department could help to bring the student body quality advertising and help to form a better connection with ASWWU. “My plans and goals for this position are to advertise and market events and activities to the student body in an engag-

F.L. 11 — Rock Wall Improvement F.L. 12 — ASWWU Conference Room Improvements F.L. 13 — New Camera for the Portland Campus G.L. 13 — Social Department Budget G.L. 14 — ASWWU Budget Changes G.L. 15 — Portland Campus Social Vice President G.L. 16 — Portland Campus Spiritual Vice President P.L. 66 — Eric Weber for Marketing Vice President P.L. 67 — Grant Perdew for Social Marketing Assistant P.L. 68, 70, 72 — Concurrent Position Bills P.L. 69 — Greg Khng for Marketing Designer

OPEN

ASWWU POSITIONS: ASWWU TV Manager ASWWU Webmaster Atlas Assistant Photo Editor Assistant to the Head Photo Editor

P.L. 71 — Daniel Peverini for Staff Writer

Old Business F.L. 4 — Food Baskets for Meske Residents F.L. 5 — ASWWU Fundraiser P.L. 64, 65 — Hilary Nieland and Casey Bartlett for Staff Writers Key:

F.L. | Financial Legislation G.L. | Governance Legislation P.L. | Personnel Legislation

FREE

Apple Sauce Cake Doughnut

ing and energizing way, while keeping the quality of content that ASWWU and the student body deserves,” says Weber. “My goals are to make ASWWU marketing into a creative and timely environment.” During the first week after break, Weber and his team will be launching the advertisements for the ASWWU app and Week of Worship.

ASWWU

Senate Seat Openings for: District 3 Meske/Married

when you show this coupon. Limit one per person.

District 6 Mountain View/Birch

Breakfast and Lunch on weekdays, and Spaghetti Night on Wednesday!

Submit your declaration for the position by Dec. 11. Declarations of candidacy can be found on the ASWWU Senate webpage.

No purchase necessary.

Hours: Mon, Tues, Thurs. Wednesday Friday

6 a.m. to 4 p.m. 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. 6 a.m. to 2 p.m.

116 N. College Avenue | (509) 522-2738

Information: paid position, 2–3 hours/week.

NEWS

CONTEXT

Review Week Policy Further Defined Amy Alderman Staff Writer

Each quarter before review week, aka dead week, all WWU students are sent a mass email with the review week policy. In summary, this policy states that: • Review week will begin one calendar week before exam week begins. • Professors may not assign any major new assignments during review week. • Quizzes are allowed, as long as they are over material presented no earlier than two class periods prior. • Typically, there should be no in- or out-of-class exams during review week unless certain requirements are met. • If necessary to move a regularly scheduled final exam into review week, authorization must come from the associate vice president for academic administration. • A few classes, such as labs requiring a final exam, have no final exam

time. Therefore, a final exam may be scheduled during review week. Student rights during review week are insured through many different institutions. Scott Ligman, associate vice president for academic administration, says that these student rights come from both federal and state laws (such as the Family Educational Rights and Practices Act), regional or professional accreditation, and institutions themselves, which define additional policies. Ligman says that if students feel that a professor has not fulfilled the review week policy, they can either express their concern anonymously during the written course evaluations, or students may do the following: “First, visit with the course instructor about the issue. If the student does not think [his or her] concern was taken seriously by the instructor, then [he or she] should visit the department chair or school dean and express [his or her] concern. If the student does not believe [his or her] concern was addressed by the department chair or dean, [or] if the course instructor is a chair or dean, then the student has the option of expressing [his or her] concern to the associate academic vice president.”

Hanukkah Celebration at WWU Jennifer Buyco Staff Writer

On Dec. 8, a Hanukkah celebration will be held in the Walla Walla University Church Fellowship Hall at 6 p.m. It will be a time for singing songs, eating traditional Jewish foods, and playing games. But why celebrate a traditionally Jewish holiday on an Adventist campus? According to Wesley,1 who organized this event, Jesus celebrated Hanukkah during the feast of dedication or the Festival of Lights.2 Having this event on our campus allows students to have a Hanukkah experience without having to travel to a Jewish syn-

agogue, lets them learn about multicultural ministries, and gives them an opportunity to develop tools for reaching out to Jewish communities. The challenge in this event, according to Wesley, is to take a look at the miracles that happen in our lives. In Judaism, commercialism was nearly absent from Hanukkah until 1970. It was not until 1970 that people began to relate presents to Hanukkah. “We do the best we can in venues like this [Walla Walla University], where we don’t have a Jewish congregation, to do a little bit of education and to help say that we as Adventists are different than all the other Christian denominations,” says Wesley. 1. Pseudonym. 2. John 10.

Photo by Ivan Cruz

Annual Christmas Concert Daniel Peverini Staff Writer

On Friday, Dec. 7, at 6 and 8 p.m., the Walla Walla University music department will present its annual Christmas Concert in the University Church. Each hour-long performance will include numbers performed by the WWU Symphony Orchestra, the University Singers, and the university’s select choir, I Cantori. Admission is free for both performances.

The program also includes a collaboration between organ student Lauren Williams, the University Singers, and members of the Symphony Orchestra to present John Rutter’s “Gloria” under the direction of Dr. Scott. In addition, the program contains arrangements of classic Christmas songs such as “Hark the Herald Angels Sing,” “The First Noel,” and “Adeste Fideles.” “The concert is a wonderful opportunity to reach out to our community,” said Symphony Orchestra Director Brandon Beck. “Having two showings allows us to reach out to more people.”

“The concert will be broadcast live.”

This year’s program, entitled “At the Door,” features songs that highlight the wonder of Christ’s incarnation. Dr. Kraig Scott, director of the university choirs, told The Collegian that, “For me, the emotional center of the concert is two pieces that I Cantori will be performing: ‘Threshold of Night,’ by Tarik O’Regan, and ‘The Rune of Hospitality,’ by Alf Houkam. The pieces contain beautiful lyrics that speak in a special way to the wonder of Christ’s birth.”

For those who cannot attend, the 8 p.m. performance of the concert will be broadcast live via Blue Mountain Television and streamed live at wallawalla.edu/ concert. For more information regarding the concert, the music department may be contacted at (509) 527-2561 or musicdepartment@wallawalla.edu.

Photo by Ivan Cruz

OPINION

PERSPECTIVE

Winter Vacation

Opinion Editor

Just one more week and fall quarter will be finished. It’s right around this time that we all pause in our studies and ponder that all-important thought: Why are we here? It seems like we just got back from Thanksgiving break, and now it’s two-and-a-half weeks of pure stress, agony, procrastination, and studying. So what’s the hassle? Neither winter nor spring quarters have a mid-session break, so why not get fall quarter over with before Thanksgiving break? Last week I was speaking with someone who suggested an alternative to our current schedule: Start classes two weeks earlier in September, have finals the week of Thanksgiving, finish the quarter on Wednesday — the day before Thanksgiving — and be done until

An extended Thanksgiving–Christmas break carries many upsides. Mission trips could be more flexible in their planning with an extended period of time with which to work, as would the tours of musical ensembles. Families and students could save on travel costs, as students would need to make one fewer round trip between home and the campus. More free time means more opportunities for family vacations and road trips with friends. Students who work during the break would have an opportunity to pocket a substantial amount of cash before returning for winter quarter. And, my personal favorite, think of all the skiing (or snowboarding, if that’s your thing; no judging here).

COLLEGIAN WISDOM This is certainly not the first proposal to altering our schedule, and it won’t be the last. Constantly, people are suggesting alternative schedules, such as replacing the current quarter system with the semester system or even trimester system. Walla Walla University operates in the minority of universities that maintain a quarter system, a schedule that is most commonly used by secondary schools, community colleges, and trade schools. Most universities, including Andrews and Southern, use a semester system, with classes scheduled from mid August to early December and early January to early May. With dozens of different options for scheduling, there will always be those who are unhappy with the setup of the academic calendar. So instead of thinking about how we could be relaxing at home with fall quarter already behind us, let’s try to enjoy the hustle and bustle of dead week. Merry Christmas!

Christmas Pickle Elliott Berger Opinion Editor

If you catch yourself humming Handel’s Messiah this season, simply remind yourself about the thousands of people singing carols and holding

Yes, it’s true. Other countries besides America celebrate Christmas, and, yes, it is not winter everywhere there is Christmas. But the snow must go on. Granted, many of us hang wreaths, decorate trees, and suck on candy canes, but there are some seriously ridiculous traditions that could make you question your family’s “cool” this winter season. This holiday season, don’t forget there are many weird and wonderful ways people celebrate Christmas all around the world. Try to make yours unforgettable this year.

20th anniversary of the first text message.

C C

Pope is now on Twitter. @pontifex #vaticanlife

Will and Kate expecting.

How long until she starts crowning?

Romney bored after losing election. Unemployment is rough.

Lindsay Lohan owed $233k in back taxes; Charlie Sheen helps pay her debt.

While you are sitting at home chomping on your Christmas brittle, some families in Greenland have chosen

While you search for your recipe for peppermint bark, many German families are hiding pickles in their trees. A delightful German tradition consists of a Christmas-morning pickle hunt, where either a real or ornamental pickle is hidden in the Christmas tree and in the morning, whoever finds the pickle first gets to open the first present.

candles in the Sydney Myer Music Bowl in Melbourne, Australia. The Bowl can fit around 30,000 people, and trying to imagine the sounds coming from Australia smashes any imagined performance of the Messiah.

But she’s 82 in bunny years.

It’s strange, in our entire family the word festive is tossed at anything that has any relation to tradition — especially Christmas. Amidst the stockings and our fat cat chewing on the tree, we really only hunker down next to the fire and exclaim about how many things are festive. This year, after reading a few stories, I noticed how truly dull our celebrations can become — if we let them. In my opinion, we here in the United States should really amp up our Christmas celebration and generate something by which to be remembered.

a different sort of dish: kiviak. It is prepared by stuffing a seal with dead birds and allowing them to sit under a layer of permafrost for several months until Christmas day, when they dig up the treat and ... bon appétit. Think about that the next time you enjoy figgy pudding.

86-year-old Heffner engaged to 26-year-old Playboy playmate.

Grant Gustavsen

winter quarter begins early January. The result is a full month and a half of winter break: Thanksgiving and Christmas included in the same vacation.

Just when we though we’d Sheen it all.

PERSPECTIVE

Question What is faith?

Response I would like to define faith based on Hebrew language and thought. Faith is concretely described in the Hebrew language. It is not an abstract idea unlike how we think of it in our modern world today. Today, faith is perceived as a mental assertion to a certain proposition. On the other hand, faith in Hebrew is often rendered as faithfulness or trust. In other contexts it is translated as "firmness" or "steadfastness." The Hebrew word emunah is the equivalent English word for faith. A clear example of the concrete meaning of emunah is in Exodus 17:12, where the Israelites were winning against the Amalekites as long as the staff of God was held up in the hands of Moses. Whenever his hands grew tired, Aaron and Hur held his hands up, and "his hands remained steady (emunah) till sunset." This Hebrew word comes from the root verb aman, which is translated "believe" or "have faith" but also translated "support," "make firm," and "make lasting." In 2 Kings 18:16 the derivation of aman is found in the word "pillars of support" (omenot). So if we will picture faith as an object, it is something that supports and holds up. With this translation we have a much more concrete idea of the meaning of faith in the Hebrew language. — Ferdinand Regalado Have a good question? Email robert.folkenberg@wallawalla.edu.

REAL QUESTIONS

RELIGION

C’mon, Jesus, What Were You Thinking? Nick Ham

Religion Editor

Are you, yourself, insane enough to love your enemy? Loving enough to have no enemy? Jesus spoke, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”1 In all the complex interconnections people foster and choose not to foster, hate happens. And love happens. Inevitably, you’ll run across people who don’t like you for whatever reason. They find you boring because you don’t hold the same interests; they envy your popularity; maybe you’re lucky and they want your smile, your talent, or test score. Perhaps in all of this you’ve done your share of hating. How, in that turmoil, can we love our enemies? Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. shared some practical ideas about the subject. It’s important to note that his methods and ideas fueled the Civil Rights Movement of the ’60s, and that this movement was successful. He argued that you have to begin by analyzing yourself, realizing that a part of your character or an action in your past could create hate. Dr. King moved on to say that seeing the good in your enemy is a necessity. We have to see the good in people, especially when the good is obscured. It’s easy for me see the bad: When I recall a situation or hear a story, it’s easy to forget that the worst people have good in them. It’s easy to forget that the bully can turn hero and the killer can have compassion on the mouse passing through his jail cell. King believed a key to loving your enemy is remembering: When the opportunity arises to defeat your enemy or take the advantage, you have to do the opposite. In that moment, rather than taking advantage of him or

her, there is a need to reach out. “The person who hates you most has some good in him; even the nation that hates you most has some good in it; even the race that hates you most has some good in it.” Remembering that concept builds bridges rather than burning them, and bridges make for a more connected world.

“We have to see the good in people, especially when the good is obscured.” But what was Christ thinking? I can’t tell you; I’ve even agreed that sometimes violence is the answer. However, aggression just breeds aggression. Violence escalates, and alternatives to violence always exist. In the simplest view of subjugation, people see a few options. They can rise against oppression violently, adopting a mentality of “don’t just defend yourself; shoot back.” The other option is compliance: When they say dance, you dance; you give up and give in to the oppression. However, there is a third way: the creative option. In the case of Martin Luther King Jr., it was organizing, preaching, marching, and — in doing so — exposing the wrongs and demanding change. In recognition that violence simply leads to more dysfunction, Ghandi taught that nonviolence would expose British oppression, and it worked. Napolean recognized, “Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne, and I have built great empires. But upon what did they

depend? They depended upon force. But long ago Jesus started an empire that depended on love, and even to this day millions will die for him.” Christ’s methods worked. Not that Christians don’t need to apologize for anything: Many do, but thousands today live more understanding and generous lives because of their experiences with Christ. Practicing loving your enemies may be easier said than done. It can take so many shapes. King also shared some concepts on why loving your enemies matters too: First, he discusses how, “hate intensifies hate.” A number of illustrations work to make this point. King pointed out that, on a trip down the highway at night, if everyone refused to dim their brights because other drivers failed to do so, no one would be able to see the road. There is sense in dimming your brights, and someone has to have this sense; otherwise, no one would be able to see that highway. King summarized his second point as, “Jesus says love, because hate destroys the hater as well as the hated.” The subconscious damage created by hate, and the eventual results of neurotic and inhuman actions that result from the damage, support that hate tears people apart. Loves transforms people: This was King’s final point supporting the concept of loving your enemies. I found myself wishing that this week I could just copy Dr. King’s whole speech as this article. He lived the concept. I have no concept of hate or love on the levels King experienced. I would encourage you to read King: He is a “real day changer.” King spent time dreaming and moving towards the ideal. He described it as “isness,” and “oughtness.” He recognized that where we are currently isn’t where we ought to be. He finished his talk with a prayer for that love that transforms lives, and I hope we all search for the same. 1. Matthew 5:43, NIV.

COLUMN & CREATIVE WRITING

PERSPECTIVE 11

Slave Elves Ring, Are You Listening? Rebecca Brothers Columnist Despite what my recent references to Election Day, Columbus Day, and Thanksgiving might have you believe, I don’t actually have it in for holidays. In fact, I love them to bits, partly because they’re the only time of year when we can do some seriously odd things in the name of tradition. It’s easy to look at other cultures’ Christmas traditions and judge them (“Santa has an evil twin named Krampus? Children fill their shoes with straw for the wise men’s camels? Everyone goes to church on roller skates? KFC is the Christmas dinner of choice? That is so weird.”), but to be honest, our own traditions have their fair share of strangeness. Take Christmas morning: You wake up early on a day off (possibly the weirdest part of the celebration), go out into the living room (where there’s a live tree decorated with lights and glass balls), and take candy and small gifts out of oversized socks that have been hung over the fireplace. If you really want to get into the spirit of the day, you can sing about a reindeer-inflicted homicide, a mother’s indiscretion with a fictional character, and 12 days of highly impractical gifts that would cost a total of $24,263.18, according to one estimate.

of course we can’t overlook the prevalence of mondegreens, which are what happens when you mix a fast-paced song with archaic lyrics and/or poor hearing. Ever witnessed small children singing, “We free kings of Oregon are” or “Don we now our day of peril”? Ever heard “slave elves” instead of “sleigh bells”? Those are mondegreens. “Feliz Navidad” seems to have suffered the most indignities; according to Snopes, the many mondegreens inspired by the title line include “Fleas naughty dog” and “Police got your dad.” The best thing about traditions for any holiday is the chance to share stories with other people and marvel at one another’s customs. In my family, for example, we never wrap gifts with paper and ribbons. Instead, back in the 1980s, my mother sewed up a bunch of drawstring bags, of all different sizes and materials, and we put our gifts in those and tie slipknots to keep the drawstrings tight. I grew up believing that wrapping paper was only used for magazine photo shoots and for gifts that you were giving to people outside your house, and that it was completely normal to spend Christmas morning trying to open my presents after I’d pulled the wrong loop and turned the whole drawstring in a knotted snarl. After comparing notes with many people over the years, I’ve come to believe that this is not, in fact, normal. For one thing, wrapping paper is a cheap and effective method of concealing gifts. For another, everybody knows that you pull the big loop of the slipknot, not the small one. But however you wrap your gifts, and no matter what songs you sing, may this holiday be filled with good food, good people, and good rest to revivify you for the months ahead.

“To be honest, our own traditions have their fair share of strangeness.”

Beyond the superficial oddities, of course, Christmas is a fantastic holiday. There are bright lights everywhere you look, to counteract the short hours of daylight. There are concerts and get-togethers galore, to provide relief from the stress of finals. Everybody seems good-spirited and forgiving and ready to give you cookies. And

By His Cover doesn’t even exist.”

Kayla Albrecht Creative Writing Editor

“No. You’re wrong. Santa Claus is real, and he loves me, and he got my letter, and he’s going to give me exactly what I want for Christmas.” Both of the little girl’s eyes turned toward where I was sitting. “That’s not Santa. Santa doesn’t exist.” I started to pull on my beard thoughtfully. “He’s sitting right there! Of course he does!” I turned toward the girls who were indiscreetly debating my identity. The one on the left had grown so adamant that her big brown eyes were filled with tears. I met her gaze, and she looked at the ground. Her freckles were dark against her fair skin. “He’s not even wearing red, Amy. Santa always wears red.” I looked at the other girl — an older sister, perhaps. She had already turned from me. Her glasses were too big for her small face. “Maybe not always, Sarah. You don’t know.” The littlest girl was looking at me again. This time she didn’t look away when our eyes locked. Instead, she continued to stare at me, wide-eyed, instantly introverted. She sucked her lower lip and I noticed two missing teeth. “I do too know, Amy. Mom told me so. So did everyone in my class. Santa isn’t going to come this year because he

The little girl still hadn’t looked away, and she ignored her sister this time. She was starting to take a step toward me when her mother came running from the other side of the park. “Amy! Sarah! I’ve been looking everywhere for you. What are you doing over here by yourselves? You had me worried sick!” “Mom, tell Amy that Santa isn’t real. She won’t believe me and she’s being stupid.” The older sister clutched her mother’s hand. Amy finally looked away from me, wanting to hear her mother’s answer. “Honey, let Amy believe what she wants. To her, Santa may be real,” the mother replied. She bent down to pick up Amy who was obviously dissatisfied with that answer. “Mom, no, he’s real for everyone. Look. He’s sitting right there,” she insisted, her finger pointing at my chest. The woman saw my sign and grew embarrassed. Her audible whispers were in vain. “Amy, that man isn’t Santa. He is someone that is not as blessed as we are; someone that does not have a home or a family to love him like we do. Come on, now. Let’s go.” I processed her quick dismissal in calm consideration. The youngest girl was about to cry from frustration. With some effort, I stood up from the bench and gathered my things. The family had already started towards their car. I cleared my throat. “You were right, Amy. Santa doesn’t always wear red.” And with that I walked away.

LIFE

DIVERSIONS

Eric Weber

Diversions Editor

How 2 Relieve Yo Stress. Ur Welcome. Photo by nataliedee.com

It’s dead week, and I am going crazy. It’s been a hard week so far; I mean, that’s what you can expect when you’re trying to run the world (thanks Beyoncé), so I have included a list of things to help you regain control of your life and relieve stress. 1. Eat chocolate — lots of chocolate. Indulge yourself and eat whatever you want: Your body needs food, and fast. It doesn’t care what it is: It just wants it — badly.

3. Don’t exercise. Not only do you not have time to exercise, but also, in my opinion, it’s unnecessary in life. Just look at me! I look great! In a clown mirror ... 4. Study with friends! This is a great way to make people think you love them. Also, it will make you feel less alone and make you forget your destiny: the crazy cat lady.

WORD FIND

2. Scream. Yes, scream. Before writing this article, I happened to get into a screaming fight with Becky Perdew, and I (not surprisingly) won. It was relaxing, enjoyable, healthy, and coincidentally I have no remaining vocal chords.

Photo by WWU Memes

Photo by Facebook Christmas Memes

Chocolate • Dreary • Fire • Gorge • Sweets • Coal • Elves • Gifts • Optimum Unsatisfied • Coldness • Extravaganza • Glitzy • Sadness • Warmth

FOODIE

Bright’s Candies' Holiday Bark ing Christmas tree skirt and ornaments.

Amy Alderman Food Editor

I absolutely love the holidays. As a little girl, the Christmas season was always filled with Advent calendars, hundreds (if not thousands) of cookies, fudge squares, candies, and crazy cats who couldn’t stay away from the tantaliz-

Visiting Bright’s Candies during the Christmas season is absolutely a must-do if you live in Walla Walla. Right as you open the door, the smell of chocolate and countless other sweet treats fills your nostrils and the experience begins. If you go during the day, chances are Paul Jenes, owner of Bright’s Candies, will be making something delicious, and you can

watch the entire process taking place through a dividing window. Some of my personal year-round favorites at Bright’s are their huge chocolate truffles and Renee’s Rocha (derived from WWU’s very own Renee Unterseher in MES), as $5 per pound purchased are donated to our local Helpline women’s shelter. During the holidays, you definitely don’t want to miss the holiday

LIFE

Local Food Feature bark and other seasonal Christmas goodies. Make sure to stop by before you head back home for the holidays and bring your family Walla Walla’s finest chocolates and candies. You’ll want to make sure to get some for yourself also, or that unopened box of confections certainly won’t be full by the time you get home.

Holiday Bark Get 15% off your entire purchase when you present a valid WWU student or card to cashier. Must show ID card before time of payment.

Offer Valid 12/06/12–12/12/12

Photos by Anthony White

Meet the Owner

1 lb. white chocolate confectioners' coating (melting chocolate) ¼ tsp. peppermint oil (add more if desired)

½ cup peppermint candies, crushed (add or remove as desired) Optional: 1 lb. dark chocolate confectioners' coating (melting chocolate)

In a microwave-safe bowl, melt the white chocolate coating on high for 25 seconds. Repeat this step until the coating is melted, but be sure to stir between each heating. The temperature of the coating should not exceed 115ºF. To test without a thermometer, the coating should feel warm, but not hot. When melted, add a few drops of the peppermint oil, stir in half of crushed peppermint candies, and pour out onto parchment paper, wax paper, or foil to cool. Sprinkle the top of the chocolate coating with the other half of the crushed peppermint candies. Place in a refrigerator for about five minutes to cool if desired (refrigeration will give the coating a glossier shine). If wishing to coat the top half of the bark with dark chocolate, place white chocolate coating in the fridge (without sprinkling the crushed peppermint candies on top). Remove from refrigerator. Melt dark chocolate confectioners' coating and put on top of white chocolate coating. Sprinkle with peppermint candies and let cool, or place in refrigerator. Cut into pieces with a knife, or break apart with hands.

Paul Jenes has owned and operated Bright’s Candies in downtown Walla Walla for the past 15 years. Bright’s was founded in 1934 and produces many types of hand-crafted chocolates and confections. They offer a vast array of Jelly Bellys, sour and gummi candies, ice cream, and popcorn.

LIFE

CULTURE

Life Lessons from Hobbits Grant Perdew Culture Editor

A darkness is coming. The evils and dreads of finals are approaching, but there is a bright glimmer of hope waiting for us afterward. I’m referring to The Hobbit. Just in time, the first episode of Peter Jackson’s new trilogy, based on the classic book, will be released at the end of the week. This is a most joyous event not just for the holiday season, but for our lives. A prequel to The Lord of the Rings (and apparently the film adaptions were quite popular), The Hobbit tells the story of Bilbo Baggins. He is swept into an epic quest, with 13 crazy dwarves, to reclaim a kingdom that was long ago conquered by the dragon Smaug. If The Lord of the Rings changed your life as a child, then you’re obviously already planning on seeing this movie. But for all you poor orcs who weren’t carried away by the magnificence of Middle–earth, listen to what I’m Tolkien about! There are so many things we can learn from Hobbits to im-

prove the quality of our lives. Here’re a few we can take to heart as we prepare for Dec. 14:

Fellowshipping Friends don’t let friends drive to Mt. Doom alone. No matter what sort of army or obstacle or lair is in front of you, as long as you are with your trusted friends, you can overcome it. In the end of The Lord of the Rings, the greatest threat to evil wasn’t men at arms, but rather the bonds of love and friendship that kept everyone together. Go Do In The Hobbit, Bilbo doesn’t join

the 13 dwarves because of the lure of treasure: He simply wants to have an adventure. This is a marvelous reminder for us to not dwell on wealth and greed, but to focus on the important things in our life like family, and to go do things. Adventures are necessary and quite splendid, actually. And even after all the evil creatures and massive battles, Samwise still came home at the end and lived happily ever after with his wife Rosie.

Epic Quests Even if you don’t have intensely hairy feet like the Hobbits, you can still

learn that exercise and using your feet are important. It’s nothing for a Hobbit to walk 15 miles or more in a day. Walking is one of the keys to longevity. Unless we want to look like Fatty Bolger, the portliest inhabitant of the Shire, we need to start epic walking quests like Bilbo.

they understand that growing your own dinner is more wondrous than Gandalf’s staff. But basically, if we don’t change our ways and respect our environment, our trees might get fed up and come after us like an army of enraged Ents.

Party Like a Halfling Hobbits know how to throw the jolliest, most wonderful parties ever. Not only are birthdays very important, but being merry with your friends and family is ideal for happiness. Next time you throw a party, plan a Shire-style celebration. You won’t regret it. Hobbits are quite possibly the most lovable foodies in all of literature. With six meals a day and as much sleep as they can possibly attain, Hobbits are all about enjoying the little things in life. We learn that good sleep makes you healthy, happy, and more alert to the wrath of dragons, and that a good meal is a joyful and life-affirming event.

HOLIDAY MOVIE GUIDE

Love the Trees and Ents The Hobbits have a close friendship with the earth. They appreciate and respect the wonders of nature. Hobbits also love spending time gardening, and

Apart from The Hobbit, there are many other fantastic films hitting theaters this month. While you’re at home doing nothing, go check out a few of these possible blockbusters.

December 21 Zero Dark Thirty The Impossible This Is 40 December 25 Django Unchained Les Misérables

SEASONAL SERENADES

You will be pleased to know that your friendly neighborhood culture editor has compiled a list of Christmas pieces for you to listen to all break so you can avoid your precious ears being tainted by the discordant dronings of Justin Bieber’s horrific rendition of “Little Drummer Boy.”

River Davis

Taking Back Sunday

Kenny G

“To Save the World”

“Merry Christmas (I Missed You So Much)”

“Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas”

WWU’s very own talent has released a new song just in time for holiday break. Home recorded and self promoted, River writes genuine music from the heart and soul. This original Christmas lullaby tells of the true reason for the season. Find it at riverdavis.bandcamp.com.

Kanye West “Christmas in Harlem” “I’mma let you finish, but Mariah Carey didn’t have the greatest Christmas song of all time.” While gift planning this December, let someone know you love them like Kanye loves Kanye, and share this jolly rap by Mr. West himself. Soulful, sweet, and sprightly, it’s probably one of the most joyful tracks we’ve ever heard from Kanye.

New York alternative rockers quickly put together this raw, acoustic holiday tune during the recording sessions for their most recent self-titled album. Lead Adam Lazzara reminds us where to be this season with his joyous cries of happiness to come home for Christmas.

Julian Casablancas “I Wish It Was Christmas Today” The leather jacket–donning, rich kid from NYC, front man of the Strokes, has released a cover version of Saturday Night Live’s famous single. Julian has gone out to capture the flavor and essence of the holiday spirit. This song is practically the underground music scene wearing a Santa hat.

This song is an addition to that warm fireplace, hot chocolate, and everything cozy and wonderful about the holiday season. For the most sensual experience, play it on cassette. It don’t know about you, but it just warms my heart to spend Christmas with this ‘80s crazy-haired saxophonist.

Hans Zimmer “Cry” He may be known for composing epic, macho soundtracks for movies like Pirates of the Caribbean and Inception, but Zimmer is actually quite brilliant at scoring romantic comedies. This inspiring finale from The Holiday is an uplifting reminder to spend the season with the ones that we love. Merry Christmas to all!

TRAVEL & SPORTS

LIFE 15

Top Christmas Ski Destinations Megan Cleveland Travel Editor

Winter travel: As temperatures drop and snow begins to blanket the mountains, the ski and snowboard season creeps closer and closer. Snowboarders, skiers, and snow bunnies alike anticipate Christmas break, when they can finally head up to where the snow is. Here are the best places to go when hitting the slopes this Christmas holiday:

Photo by ASWWU

Wolves Win 69–65

Mammoth Mountain, Calif.

Tye Forshee

Opening date: Nov. 8 Ticket cost per day: $79–$105 1 Perched up in the clouds sits Mammoth Mountain, located in the High Sierras. With a peak elevation of 11,053 feet, Mammoth is the highest ski resort in California. In addition to being the highest, Mammoth is also one of the most popular ski destinations on the West Coast. This destination gives you the best of both worlds: The sun shines on average at least 300 days a year, living up to the state’s sunshine standards, yet the snow is considered the best in California and will sometimes last into July. The resort is composed of over 3,500 skiable acres, 25 lifts, three highspeed gondolas, over 150 trails, and four mountain lodges. For the “park rats,” Mammoth has seven different parks and 18- and 22-foot pipes. Off the slopes, Mammoth also offers an equally enchanting village full of shopping and dining. Other available activities include cross-country skiing, ice skating, dogsled tours of the Sierras, and much more. For skiers and boarders who are up for the challenge, you can chase Mammoth’s mascot, Woolly the Mammoth, around the mountain and snap a quick photo with the friendly, furry character.

Photo by Jason Birkenstock

Breckinridge, Colo.

Stowe, Vt.

Opening date: Nov. 9 Ticket cost per day: $91

Opening date: Nov. 23 Ticket cost per day: $92

Breckenridge is one of the most popular resorts in the Colorado Rockies, bringing in more than 1.2 million annual visitors. Although it is popular, Breck, as it is often called, is so large that visitors find it easy to escape from the crowds. The resort spans 2,358 acres of terrain and includes 30 different lifts, one gondola, and 155 trails to investigate. For the adrenaline junkies, Breckenridge has five terrain parks and a 22-foot superpipe where they can show off their stuff. As great as Breckenridge sounds, it only gets better: The resort is located in the largest historic district in Colorado. This charming, 19th-century town is home to a plethora of great dining, over 200 shops, and several spas. Other available activities include dogsledding, hot air balloon rides, ice skating, snowshoeing, theater going, and many more.

Located in northern Vermont, Stowe is one of the earliest and classiest resorts in the United States. Opened in the 1930s, Stowe still offers some of the best skiing the East Coast has to offer. The skiable area spans over 485 acres with 11 lifts, two gondolas, and 116 different trails. Stretched across two different peaks — Mt. Mansfield, for the more advanced, and Spruce Peaks, for the less tenacious — Stowe offers many slopes for skiers and snowboarders of every level. Additionally, there are six different terrain parks scattered across the mountain for the daredevils among us. Others who prefer to relax and take it easy find Stowe also offers a variety of alternative activities, including cross-country skiing, shopping and dining, a luxurious spa, the Spruce Peak Performing Arts Center (where guests can experience concerts and theatre), and more. 1. Contingent on dates: Nov. 8–23, $79; Nov. 23–December 21, $89; Dec. 22–Jan. 6, $105; Jan. 7–Apr. 21, $99; Apr. 22–Close, $79.

Sports Editor

The Walla Walla University Wolves took on Pacific University last Sunday. The Wolves were looking for their first win of the season in front of an animated crowd. The game started off rockily for the Wolves, as they failed to make some easy shots, and it looked like Pacific University would run away with the game. The Wolves only shot 29 percent in the first half, ending behind Pacific University 21–35. Guards Tyreek Luckett and Tristan Greenidge got it going in the second half as they narrowed the gap to under 10 points. The Wolves also played better defense as they pressured Pacific University all the way down the court, forcing them into several turnovers. In the closing minutes, the Wolves closed the gap with a three-pointer by Greenidge; he also made two foul shots to tie the game. Ryan Spady was fouled and, with the game on the line, nailed two free throws to take the lead. The Wolves had come from behind to win their very first game, outscoring Pacific University 48–30 in the second half to seal a 69–65 win. The Wolves shot an impressive 62 percent on threes during the game (helped by Chad Torkelsen and Luckett), and Miguel Martinez led the Wolves with eight rebounds. The Wolves travel to Montana on Friday to take on Montana Tech.

“The best thing since sliced bread.”

Verbatim SUPER JEWEL QUEST

A very special Heel shout-out to Professor Montes for incorporating The Heel into his marketing final.

“I’m black, and black don’t crack!”

In lieu of an Advent calendar, I’ve hidden the usual three jewels in seasonal spots. Email me quickly for prizes, or keep them secret and safe until next quarter.

— Danielle Maxwell, on getting wrinkles

“She will lovingly destroy your soul.” — Brooklynn Larson, on Kellie Bond’s grading

“Look before you leak — leap!” — Paul Dybdahl

“Soul Surfer is a disarming film.” — Ron Jolliffe

“Some people need to die off and things will get better.” — Pedrito Maynard-Reid, on historic power struggles in the SDA church

This week you’ll need to seek jewels

What gift would ruin your Christmas? “Mouthwash.” Carissa Lau

“More preppy clothes … like a bunch of polos and khakis … and I’m so done with that.” Jon Anderson

nightly;

sunlight hides their shining brightly. The first is circ’d in crimson light,

“A gift I gave them.” Moises Cervantes

and sparkles near a central site. The second, if in Germany,

would be by candles caused to gleam. The last is in a kindred berth,

Near scents stirred up to bring you mirth, And with these lines to pass your time, God Jul, sweet Onions, auld lang syne.

“If someone got me some food, or something really weird. That’d be really … yeah.” Roger Williams

“If someone un-gifted my dinosaur.” Rainey Davis

Hear something funny? Report it! julian.weller@wallawalla.edu

Julian Weller The Heel Editor

When consulting your Rolodex these last few days of earth, you may feel overwhelmed. No, not by the fact that this issue of The Collegian has The Heel on each end, with Ham ’n’ Berger in the middle (pages 9 and 10). Dead week has been busy, and finals are on the way, not to mention the end of the world via Mayan Apocalypse on Dec. 21 — and all that before Christmas, Boxing Day, and New Year’s! That’s a lot to tackle. With our imminent plunge into the glorious fangs of the Jaguar God (run, but you can’t hide; you’ll be spotted), conventional

wisdom will tell you to do one thing: Start looting! It’s a time-honored human tradition, not only reserved for the holidays, but also trotted out for some of our most debilitating hurricanes, disagreeable election results, and outbreaks of various contagions. With Black Friday not far gone, I can almost hear the sirens and silver bells ringing out come Yuletide. If you’d like to say goodbye to me as the Mayan Apocalypse looms closer, casting its nightmare shadow over all we’ve come to know, you can find me at the Marcus Whitman Hotel, where I’ll be adorning myself as richly as possible, seated on my treasure trove, barricaded into the presidential suite. You’ve got to look good to meet your maker, friends. However, Onions, we don’t need the end of the world to look good, or even

do good. I know you’ve gotten this sort of softy preaching your whole life: Carpe diem, memento mori, live every day like it’s your last — you know the drill. Just don’t forget it. Memento all day! It’s pretty easy to think, “Well, I’ll die eventually. I’m fine with that,” but it’s even easier to forget that feeling when you nearly do get skeebopped by circumstance. When I nearly did, I realized how much pizza, biking, and kissing I’d be missing out on if I snuffed it, I fainted. Sort of counterproductive, I guess. … All I’m saying is you don’t know when your last minutes will be. It’s an overtrod point, and one with which it’s hard to identify — usually until it’s too late. Just memento: You can go out and loot right now if you want. Carpe whatever you need. If it’s on your bucket list, you should probably just get it finished.

Now, friends and lovers, we draw to our close. I won’t be seeing you until next issue — Jan. 10. I hope your holidays are happy; your winter is wonderful; your Kwanzaa is convivial; and your New Year is never yucky, and is nonetheless yummy. If at some point during the next four weeks you find yourself thinking, “Hey! Where was Julian Weller when I was bored on Boxing Day?”, just let me say to you now, and then, and forever more, “Chill out, weirdo! Do you think I live to serve you?” But now, then, and always, I’ll be fronting, hoping to find you ‘neath the mistletoe, and wanting to show you this video: tinyurl.com/ heelboxingday. And a happy New Year, too: tinyurl.com/heelnewyear. Until then, Onions.