Volume 97, Issue 21
Thursday, April the 4th, 1813
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Hilary Nieland News
Final exams have been the bane of students’ college experiences for years. During finals week, one may overhear several students complaining that finals are surely not the best way to measure a student’s progress and that a different method should be implemented. At long last, WWU administrators have agreed to follow Harvard’s example by phasing out final exams.
Walla Walla University’s administration has expressed deep interest in following Harvard’s example for quite some time. After examining the results of intense studies held by the nation’s leading university, the evidence supporting the idea of nixing final exams is irrefutable. Always looking for ways to improve and move ahead of the herd, WWU will be implementing a trial period to see if the new no-final system is best for the university. Harvard University officials have conducted several studies with all results
showing that finals do not help students learn course material. Instead, when students are forced to take final exams most will “cram” and learn as much as they can in a short period of time in order to pass the test. They will then promptly forget what they learned after the test is over. Harvard University professors state that they can almost always judge the performance of a student without finals. If professors do feel that something is needed at the end of the term to judge students’ progress and performance, Harvard administrators are now urging professors
Collegian Wisdom
News 1,2 Calendar 2,3
Perspective
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Not a game to be taken lightly.
Creative Writing 2 Religion 3 Column 3 Opinion 4
C Baseball season begins.
The Millerites Management
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17-year-old boy sold an app to Yahoo for $30 million.
During spring quarter 2013, WWU administrators are encouraging professors to not give midterm or final exams, and to develop new ways of evaluating students if needed. Current plans include a poetry competition in the park to replace certain humanities courses, reenactments of historical events, and creating a pedestrian bridge over College Avenue for engineering students.
Context
In Kentucky, a teenager was arrested for falsely yelling “bingo” in a bingo hall.
Finally, we can return to not watching baseball.
to find more creative ways to do so.
The Collegian has come under new management.
Where did Yahoo find 30 million dollars?
We are here to warn you against the sins manifested on our campus: texting, public displays of affection, caffeine, and longboarders. We will return to our doctrines — no more “only Jesus,” no more entanglement with spiritual disciplines, and no more iniquitous displays of toes or ankles.
According to reports, Twinkies will be back on the shelves sometime this summer.
A new path is in store for this publication. It will no longer include images of students engaging in these activities. It will no longer be a display of graphical trivialities. It will no longer be the
mouthpiece of corrupted and forward-thinking minds. Instead, it will herald our fundamental values, as a tribute to the traditional ways of our founders. The righteous reign begins today, April the 4th, as our first issue hits the stands. This is the beginning of a return to truth. The remnant will be kept pure. We must prepare for the trials ahead of the Second Coming by building stockpiles of soy products and vegemeat in the mountains. The followers will march to victory with chants of “left, right, Ellen White.”
Life Sports 2 Travel 5 Science & Tech 5 Foodie 6 Health & Wellness 6 Culture 7 Diversions 7
We are Collegian. We forgive. We do not forget. Expect us.
Cardiologists rejoice.
Joe Biden recently ran up a $585,000 hotel bill in Paris.
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This is Joe’s way of stimulating the European economy.
C April 4th is the new April 1st. Fools.
Casey Bartlett News
The Walla Walla University bookstore has had it with students using the store as a reference and then buying their textbooks from other sources such as Amazon or Half.com. Beginning April 22, 2013 , the U-Shop will charge customers a fee of $5 for “just looking.” The fee will be removed when a purchase is made. “Our prices are not that far off from our competitors,’” said an anonymous source from the U-Shop. The source added, “We try really hard to make the store look nice for our customers, too; we have an interior designer on staff so that our displays are exquisite.” Through misty eyes they solemnly exclaimed, “We just don’t know what else to do.” Representatives from the U-Shop assure students that they do not want to enact this
fee, but they feel they are out of options. Sixty-five percent of students currently purchase all of their books from the U-Shop. The 35 percent that do not is the
“We just don’t know what else to do.” target demographic for the fee. One U-Shop employee noted, “We see them come in and just browse around the bookshelves with pen and paper in hand, writing down the books they need. Then they leave without
purchasing anything. It’s really hard to see that. It just … it hurts.” Despite many opinions to the contrary, the U-Shop does not see this as a desperate attempt to get more business. Representatives say almost unanimously, “We just want to be able to serve all the students at Walla Walla University with our great prices, outstanding customer service, and incredible store display.” They feel the fee is the best way to do this. The fee will be charged by installing a card reader, like the ones in the WEC, at the entrance to the U-Shop. As students scan their ID cards to unlock the door, a $5 charge will be added to their school account. Upon purchasing an item from the U-Shop, the $5 charge will be refunded. Unfortunately, the U-Shop does not realize that textbooks are listed on the students’ myWWU accounts.