Volume 97, Issue 22

11 April 2013 Volume 97 Issue 22

THE FUTURE

T’S YOUR MOVE 15

WEEK IN FORECAST

7

SNAPSHOTS

13

TRAVEL

22

2

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Emily Muthersbaugh HEAD LAYOUT EDITOR Ricky Barbosa

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INTRODUCTION a quality weekly publication, and invited me to question my assumptions and beliefs.

I have had the opportunity to work with many talented members of our student body to produce a relevant, entertaining, and thought-provoking publication.

HEAD COPY EDITOR Cedric Thiel HEAD PHOTO EDITOR Josh McKinney

Emily Muthersbaugh

CONTENT DIRECTOR Philip Duclos

NEWS EDITOR Jaclyn Archer

Editor-in-Chief

RELIGION EDITORS Rob Folkenberg Daniel Peverini COLUMNIST Rebecca Brothers CREATIVE WRITING EDITOR Kayla Albrecht OPINION EDITORS Elliott Berger Grant Gustavsen FEATURE EDITORS Braden Anderson Elizabeth Jones James Mayne Christian Robins CULTURE EDITOR Grant Perdew DIVERSIONS EDITOR Eric Weber TRAVEL EDITOR Megan Cleveland HEALTH & WELLNESS EDITOR Karl Wallenkampf SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY EDITOR Spencer Cutting

College is a time when students are faced with questions of identity. Leaving the security of our homes, parents, or guardians, we become more autonomous. When we have increased control over daily routines and greater responsibilities, we begin asking, “What do I want to do with the rest of my life?” We think of the internships or the jobs we want to have, we think of the places to which we want to travel, we think of the car or house we want to buy. The intentionality of these ambitions is an important aspect of planning for the future, but even more important is the question, “What kind of person do I want to be?”

Whether or not we actively pursue personal growth, the things we do will change us. It is important to consider how the decisions we make about what we want to do with our lives will affect our character. It is important to be intentional about the experiences we pursue as they may shape our professions, abilities, and worldviews.

Currently, ASWWU is looking for the next editor-in-chief of The Collegian, and will soon be hiring Collegian staff positions.

The Collegian team is made up of driven individuals who enjoy learning, designing, editing, and communicating. If you are interested in leading or being a part of this team, I encourage you to contact myself or aswwu.collegian@wallawalla.edu.

Serving as the editor-in-chief of The Collegian has been far more rewarding than I imagined possible. It has enhanced my understanding of our student body and university, enabled me to communicate important ideas, challenged me to produce

FOOD EDITOR Amy Alderman SPORTS EDITORS Trevor Boyson Tye Forshee THE HEEL EDITOR Julian Weller STAFF WRITERS Amy Alderman Casey Bartlett Karina Gomez Hilary Nieland Annie Palumbo LAYOUT DESIGNERS Allison Berger Alix Harris Greg Khng Cory Sutton COPY EDITORS Amy Alderman Rebecca Brothers Carly Leggitt Ryan Robinson DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Alex Wickward OFFICE MANAGER Heather Eva SPONSOR Don Hepker EDITORIAL BOARD Braden Anderson Jaclyn Archer Elliott Berger Philip Duclos Rob Folkenberg Grant Gustavsen Elizabeth Jones James Mayne Emily Muthersbaugh Christian Robins Julian Weller AD SALES MANAGER Brenda Negoescu aswwu.ads@wallawalla.edu

Photo by Anthony White

Context

3–7

News ASWWU/Admin Week in Forecast

Photo by moooon_child

Perspective Religion Column Creative Writing Opinion Snapshots SM/ACA

8–14

Photo by Greg Khng

Feature 15–17 The Future: It's Your Move

Photo by Amy Alderman

Life 18–24

Culture Diversions Sports Foodie Travel EWB Update Health & Wellness The Heel

If you are interested in contributing to The Collegian, contact our page editors or the editor-in-chief at aswwu.collegian@wallawalla.edu. The Collegian is boosted by regularly incorporating a wide range of student perspectives.

On sessio Inter in th the S Best, sharin the i majo accou past w

Th Olym Hous Cover Photo Credit: Kai Kopitzke, Flickr user danorth1, Carlton Henkes, Flickr user GoToVan State The Collegian is the official publication of ASWWU. Its views and opinions are not necessarily the official stance of Walla Walla University comp or its administration, faculty, staff, or students. Questions, letters, and comments can be mailed to aswwu.collegian@wallawalla.edu or office emily.muthersbaugh@wallawalla.edu. This issue was completed at 1:55 a.m. on 11 April 2013. atten The Collegian | Volume 97, Issue 22 | 204 S. College Avenue | College Place, WA 99324 | collegian.wallawalla.edulegisl

NEWS

National College Health Assessment Survey Hilary Nieland Staff Writer

From April 10–19, undergraduate students on the College Place campus will be seeing emails from ACHA-NCHA, the National College Health Assessment administered by the American Collegiate Health Association. The NCHA Survey is a national survey that helps colleges obtain information about their students’ health habits and behaviors. The schools can use this data to identify areas that need improvement and to create programs that improve student health and safety.

A wide array of topics will be addressed in the NCHA Survey, including sexual behavior; alcohol, drug, and tobacco use; sleep habits; and general feelings of security on campus. Donna Chinn, the student wellness coordinator at Campus Health and Wellness states that the information gleaned from the confidential responses will provide the information needed to allow Cam-

pus Health and Wellness to obtain funding to implement programs that will address students’ specific needs. For example, if the survey indicates that students feel unsafe, they will work to discover what, exactly, is causing the issue and change it.

file which is destroyed before the results are given to the university. These precautions ensure the no one will be able to tie responses to individuals. After the survey has ended, NCHA will send the results to the director of Campus Health and Wellness.

The survey is completely confidential and students are encouraged to answer honestly. NCHA As an incentive, all students who complete the will send students links to their campus email survey will receive 20 percent off one drink at the address to complete the survey. The informaAtlas. Also, Campus Health and Wellness will tion provided by students will be sent directly be giving away four iPods, 20 flash drives, and a to NCHA. Campus Health and Wellness will grand prize of $100 in cash. The earlier the survey be notified as to who is completed, the better chance completed the survey; you have of winning a prize. however, they will Students will also receive Comnever see students’ mUnity credit for completing responses attached to the survey and attending one of identifying informatwo presentations at Village Hall tion. The NCHA on April 16 and 17 at 7 p.m.

Photo by Joshua McKinney has implemented The presentation is a questionseveral procedures to and-answer session with Tom maximize student privacy. They create a unique Underhill, M.D., and the audience will be able to ID number for each email address provided by send their questions to him during the presentathe university. Email addresses and responses are tion via text message. There will be more prizes not stored in the same file and the link between at the presentations for those who arrive 5–10 addresses and ID numbers is stored in a separate minutes early.

Government Internship Program Karina Gomez Staff Writer

On Tuesday, April 16, there will be an info session on the Washington State Legislative Internship Program from noon to 1 p.m. in the ASWWU boardroom, located in the SAC. The session’s speakers are Judi Best, senate intern coordinator, who will be sharing more detailed information about the internship, and WWU senior business major Zach Santos, sharing his personal account on completing the internship this past winter quarter.

The internship consists of working in Olympia for either the Washington State House of Representatives or Washington State Senate and earning academic credit for completion. Duties of the job include typical office work, corresponding with citizens, attending meetings and hearings, conducting legislative research, and bill tracking.

Though the program does not provide housing for students, the internship is paid.

Interns are required to work the typical legislative work week, which is from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday and throughout holidays as well. Proper, professional attire is also a requirement for the workplace.

The internship also includes weekly academic workshops and seminars that include meeting and having panel discussions with Washington state officials, the officials whom the interns have the opportunity to job shadow as well. The workshops give participants experience in official state work via mock floor debates, hearings, and budget exercises.

While the internship is open to all juniors and seniors that study in a university in Washington, it is highly encouraged that those majoring in law, business, social work, or politics take special interest in the program.

It is an opportunity for students in those areas of study to gain professional work experience in their own field.

The next internship opportunity for undergraduates is from January 13 to March 13, 2014. Program applications will be accepted beginning Septemer 1 and are due at the Legislative Building in Olympia in print form by October 30. The applications must include a written essay; a current résumé with a cover letter; and two reference letters, one by a faculty member and one from a personal source. Students applying for the internship also need a faculty sponsor and preparation for interviews conducted

by House and Senate coordinators in November.

Next week’s info session will provide many more in-depth details about the internship, but those who cannot make the meeting can find more information at the Washington State Legislature website. More information can also be reached by contacting either Judi Best at judi.best@leg.wa.gov or Paula Rehwaldt at paula.rehwaldt@leg.wa.gov.

CONTEXT

BY THE

3

NUMBERS

$943

MILLION The expected taxpayer bailout of the Federal Housing Administration.

16

Number of cone types the mantis shrimp has in its eyes.

5.5

TONS

Amount of Nutella thieves stole from a parked trailer in Bad Hersfeld, Germany.

$5.3

MILLION Amount the Nobel laureate Francis Crick's letter to his son describing his DNA discovery sold for at a recent auction.

CONTEXT SENATE UPDATE

New Business F.L. 33 — ­ Mission Mozambique T-Shirts Purpose: Provide initial funding for T-shirts to be purchased for Mission Mozambique fundraising G.L. 26 — ­ Elections Manual Revision Purpose: Revise the election manual to reflect current needs S.R. 3 ­— Laundry Credit System for Portland Campus Purpose: Encourage Portland campus to move toward a prepaid laundry system

Open Forum Governing Documents Committees

Key: F.L. | Financial Legislation G.L. | Governance Legislation P.L. | Personnel Legislation

ASWWU/ADMIN

WWU Board of Trustees PURPOSE The board of trustees is the ultimate governing authority of Walla Walla University. The board is involved in the large-scale planning for the university as opposed to day-to-day functioning. They work to ensure the university’s mission statement is being carried out and that the necessary people and departments have the funds to continue doing so.

AUTHORITY The board is the primary developer of institutional policy and has the power to supervise the president; adopt budgets; and appoint, promote, or remove officers and employees of the university. Any major curriculum changes, monetary expenditures, or other extensive changes must be approved by the board.

MEETINGS There are four meetings per year, each of which typically last over four hours. The meeting commences with the president and all vice presidents of the university giving formal oral reports to the board concerning their respective departments. Following the reports is a period of discussion and, if necessary, voting. The meetings are formal and are conducted in a manner similar to that of student senate.

MEMBERSHIP The charter dictates there be 29 members on the board who must all be members in good standing of the SDA church. Ex officio members include the president, secretary, treasurer, and director of education of the NPUC; the president of the university; and presidents of each conference within the union. Other members must include a pastor and K–12 educator in the NPUC and a representative from Adventist Health Systems.

The local conferences within the NPUC elect 15 members who are not employees of any part of the SDA church except Adventist Health, two of which are minority representatives. Nonvoting attendees include all vice presidents of the university, the NPUC youth director, one secondary principal serving within the NPUC, and the ASWWU president.

If students have any concerns of which they feel the board should be aware, they can contact any of the members or contact the student representative to the board, Emily Oliver.

John K. McVay

CHAIR

Max C. Torkelsen II

SECRETARY COMMITTEE COMPOSITION

MEMBERS

VICE CHAIR

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Harold Altamirano | DeLona Bell | Dennis Barts | Andrew O. Carrington | Kenneth Crawford Paul Hoover | John Fredman | Don Hall | Tanya Huether | Alan S. Hurlbert | Monty E. Knittel Merlin Knowles | Rhona Kwiram | Gordan Lacey | Cameron Libby | John Loor Jr. Peter J. McPherson | Gregory E. Paskell | David Prest | Barbara J. Prowant | Al Reimche Mark Remboldt | Kevin Rogers | Sandy Schnell | Linda Sloop | Rodney Wehtje

Bruce D. Thorn

Th Sund the W tinue with Open mem prize and $

NEWS

CONTEXT

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SonBridge Dental Clinic Annie Palumbo

Staff Writer

A new dental clinic in College Place saw its first patients on Tuesday, April 2, and served six patients its first night. Eight years ago, eight dentists saw the need for free dental care as the largest unmet need in the Walla Walla Valley, and together they have opened the SonBridge Dental Clinic.

The clinic has four dental chairs, which allows two dentists to serve four patients at a time. Thanks to generous donations and the support of local dentists, families, and eight Seventh-day Adventist churches, the practice has been able to open its doors debt free.

The practice is still in need of some items to make their service run smoothly. A ScanX, a phone system, a lab lathe, and basic supplies valued at $50,000 are still needed. The volunteer dentists, aided by a volunteer staff of nurses and other professionals, hope to have the practice open several nights a week for two to three hours at a time. They hope to see 12–15 patients a week to start with and hope to expand with more volunteers and resources.

The practice is also in need of volunteer interns to meet needs at the clinic. If you are

interested in volunteering for the dental clinic, several positions are currently available:

■ Management — Retail: Assist in day-to-day operations of retail store. Manage special projects, organize for efficiency, merchandise with flair.

■ Management — Hospitality: Organize setup and operations of multiple conference rooms for diverse groups. Facilitate scheduling, requirements, and smooth delivery.

■ Management — Dental Clinic: Assist in management of dental clinic staffed by volunteers. Facilitate scheduling, supply ordering, and efficient operations.

■ Management — Operations: Facilitate smooth operations of multipurpose rooms.

Supervise movement of furniture, cleaning of rooms, and event preparation.

■ Communications — Print: Create text for brochures, press releases, and presentations.

Collaborate in creating plans and then executing consistent communication.

■ Communications — Radio/TV: Create audio and video content in collaboration with radio and TV partners. Participate in creating plans and then executing clear communications.

Tin Man Triathlon Annie Palumbo

Staff Writer

The Tin Man Triathlon will be held on Sunday, April 14. The race will begin in the WEC with a 500-yard swim and continues with a 20-km bike ride, finishing with a 5-km run through College Place.

Open to both students and community members, the triathlon is offering a $50 prize for both male and female winners and $75 for the winning team.

The triathlon had its start in the early 1980s, and after a short break in the ’90s, ASWWU brought back this WWU tradition. According to Social Vice President Doug Wheeler, in its early years the Tin Man had as few as three participants, but it has since grown to have more than 100 participants, volunteers, and spectators.

For more information on the race, or to sign up, maps and registration forms are available at as.wallawalla.edu.

■ Finance: Create project financial plans, analyze previous projects and programs, and forecast future expenditures.

■ Technology/IT: Plan and execute audio, video, or web projects. Implement PC-based display, monitoring, or security systems.

If you are interested in being a volunteer, you can call SonBridge at (509) 529-3100, or visit the new clinic in College Place at 1200 SE 12th St. If you would like to make a donation of any kind, please contact Mel Lang at mel. lang@wallawalla.edu.

New Lights for

Parking Lot Casey Bartlett Staff Writer

The days of a dimly lit parking lot on the south side of Foreman Hall are numbered.

The lot is currently lit by two big lights, but this is insufficient. In an open-forum session during a student senate meeting, a female student mentioned she felt unsafe in that parking lot after dark. This comment was immediately followed by nearly every female present stating that they too felt uneasy in the parking lot at night. It was proposed that more lights should be installed to adequately light the whole lot.

The cost of the project has been estimated at about $4,000, of which ASWWU will be paying half. The rest of the cost will be covered with funds from tuition fees for campus improvement.

ASWWU and student senate pushed for this project to be completed as quickly as possible and have put their money where their mouth is. Their proactivity is to be commended. This is a wonderful example that our student senate is not merely a forum to submit student complaints but is a hardworking entity that actively seeks ways to improve the student experience at Walla Walla University.

“ASWWU and student senate pushed for this project to be completed as quickly as possible and have put their money where their mouth is.”

Installation of the new lights should begin soon.

The plans are currently being reviewed by the city; once they are approved, installation may begin.

Glenn Maxted, electrical systems manager at WWU, is hopeful that they will be installed by the middle of next month.

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CONTEXT

Free Screening

Expert panel immediately following Wednesday, April 17 7:00 pm Olin Hall 130, Whitman College Partners: Walla Walla County Health Department, Green Dot Whitman, YWCA, WWU Amnesty, Helpline, Walla Walla Police Department

Funding for this activity was made possible in part by the HHS, Office on Women’s Health. The views expressed in written materials or publications and by speakers and moderators at HHS-sponsored conferences, do not necessarily reflect teh official policies of the Department of Health and Human Services; nor does the mention of trade names, commercial practices, or organizations imply endosement by the U.S. Government.

CONTEXT

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WEEK IN

FORECAST Photo by Flickr user danorth1

Thursday |

11 APRIL 61° 39°

Barbershop Quartet Day

Photo by Joshua McKinney

Friday |

12 APRIL 64° 48°

EWB Elections

8 p.m.

University Church

Sunday | 14 APRIL

Monday |

ASWWU Tin Man

Patriots' Day

55° 36°

10 a.m.

WEC

Chamber Series Recital: Timothy Olsen, Organ 7:30 p.m.

University Church

Tax Day

15 APRIL 55° 39°

16 APRIL 63° 30°

No CommUnity

Friday 11 a.m. Classes Meet

WA State Legislative Internship Info Session 12 p.m.

Village Hall

NCHA Survey Q&A Session 7 p.m.

Village Hall

55° 36°

Disco Skate Night 7 p.m.

YWCA Ice Chalet

Photo by Flickr user daveberta

Tuesday |

13 APRIL

10:30 a.m.

Village Hall

ASWWU Battleground Vespers

Photo by Flickr user WalshTD

Saturday |

ASWWU Battleground

5 p.m.

Havstad Boardroom

Photo by Anthony White

Photo by Flickr user jodigreen

Photo by Flickr user thebees

Wednesday |

17 APRIL 59° 45°

NCHA Survey Q&A Session 7 p.m.

Village Hall

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PERSPECTIVE

RELIGION

A Christian Rhetoric of Resurrection Daniel Peverini Religion Editor

As a theology student and a Christian theologian in training, I have come to believe that theology, at least to some extent, means rhetoric. The word theology literally means “God words.” If theology is the language we use to speak of God, and if we think there is something important about the God of whom we speak, then we ought to use our best language to speak of Him.

Risen! Truly, He is Risen!” This language is the basic Christian rhetoric of Resurrection. While acknowledging this rhetoric of tradition, I do not think that the Christian rhetoric of Resurrection has been exhausted. For Christians, the resurrection of Jesus has a universal significance.

I will use the rest of this page to present a rhetoric of Resurrection, exploring just a piece of this significance.

God has spoken. This is what the Resurrection means.

their sins. In this act, Jesus brought the kingdom of God to Jerusalem.

God vindicated the crucified Christ. The powers of this world said “no,” but God said “yes.”

The elite of the Jews — the Sanhedrin — came together to plot Jesus’ death. They tried to force His tongue or His hand, but He would not be forced. Every time they challenged Him, He outwitted them with a well-put word and a smile.

They could not stand to see Jesus challenge their authority. They were older, more learned, and more respectable then Jesus. How dare He?

The resurrection of Jesus is the divine “yes” to Jesus and to all those like Him. It is the divine “yes” to all those who work for justice and mercy in the present, calling down the wrath of the powers that be. It is the divine “yes” to those fighting for equal rights for all humans.

It is the divine “yes” to those who fight for just distribution of wealth in the world economy that exploits the majority of humans to serve a privileged few. It is the divine “yes” to those who fight for the right to life of the unborn.

“The resurrection of Jesus is the Divine ‘yes’ to Jesus and to all those like Him.”

Last quarter, I took a writing class from Dan Lamberton. One thing I learned in that class was the importance of rhetoric when constructing good language. Our class studied different rhetorical forms, such as parallelism, alliteration, and onomatopoeia. At the end of the quarter, each student wrote a short, personal essay employing these forms. As the students read their essays in class, I found that I was greatly moved by the language they used.

There was a Jew named Jesus, who came from the backwater town of Nazareth in the land of Galilee. With a few disciples, He came to Jerusalem preaching God’s coming kingdom to all who would give ear. He blessed the poor, healed the sick, drew in the sinner, and raised up the oppressed.

In the anonymity of night, they found Him guilty in a closed counsel. They brought Him to Pontius Pilate, governor of Judea, for sentencing.

Pilate yielded to the demands of the Sanhedrin and ordered for Jesus’ crucifixion. After only a few hours on the cross, Jesus succumbed to his punishment.

Where am I going with all this? A week before last Sunday, Christians worldwide celebrated Easter. Easter commemorates the central event of the Christian faith: the resurrection of Jesus.

On Easter, Christians around the world proclaim Khristos Anesti! Alithos Anesti! — “Christ is

Like any good Jew, Jesus visited the temple of YHWH in Jerusalem when he arrived. Unlike any good Jew, Jesus drove out the money changers from the temple court with a whip of knotted cords. When the money changers had left, the sick and the sinner came to Jesus, and He forgave

The kingdom of God was dead. Everything that Jesus did and meant, all that was gone — put down, put under, nullified.

REAL QUESTIONS Question Who was William Miller?

Response Adventists hear the name of William Miller a lot. Who was he? William Miller was born in 1782. Growing up in New England, Miller spent some time in school, but he was unable to attend college. Miller was not to be deterred by circumstances, however: He became fascinated with study. Unfortunately, after getting married and moving to a new town, Miller lost faith in the Bible for a time and became a deist. He became very involved in his new town, Poultney, Vermont, and served as constable, deputy sheriff, and justice of the peace. He also served in the militia, and when the War of 1812 began, Miller led a company into the war. Due to his experiences in the war, including witnessing a near-miraculous American victory at the Battle of Plattsburgh, Miller began to reconsider his Baptist Christian faith.

After giving his life back to Christ, Miller began to study the Bible in order to

But on the third day, God raised Jesus from the dead. In this act of Resurrection, Christians hold,

The resurrection of Jesus is also a Divine “no.”

It is the Divine “no” to the all the unfinished lives taken by famine, sickness, and war. It is the Divine “no” to the exclusion of minority groups.

It is the Divine “no” to merciless religious orders which force individuals to choose between identity and acceptance. It is the Divine “no” to the destruction of the good earth and the exploitation of the land.

In the resurrection of Jesus as much as in the incarnation, Christians hold, God has truly spoken to humans. God has vindicated the poor and the oppressed; He has vindicated those fighting for justice now. God has also judged the oppressor and the one who exploits fellow humans. God has spoken. This is what the Resurrection means.

be an informed believer and defend his faith. Because of so many disparities between commentaries, Miller studied using only a Bible and concordance. As he studied, he became enamored with prophecies and became convinced that the literal coming of Jesus was very soon. Miller’s interpretation of the 2,300-day prophecy of Daniel 8 sparked a large-scale movement in the United States of anticipation for Jesus’ imminent return. Tens of thousands flocked to meetings delivered by Miller and other “Adventists” who preached that Jesus was coming soon. Miller believed that Jesus would return sometime in 1843, later modifying the date slightly to 1844. Miller himself never set a specific date — the October 22 date was championed by others, and Miller accepted it just weeks before October 22. Of course, Jesus didn’t return in 1844, but the Adventist sanctuary message has its roots in Miller’s interpretation of the 2,300-day prophecy of Daniel 8. Miller never became a Seventh-day Adventist, dying over a decade before the Seventhday Adventist church was officially organized in 1863, but through Miller and other Adventists, a message about Jesus’ soon coming was spread, and the Seventhday Adventist church was eventually founded.

—Rob Folkenberg, Religion Editor Have a good question? Email robert.folkenberg@wallawalla.edu.

COLUMN & CREATIVE WRITING

PERSPECTIVE

Paper Napkins for All Peace of a Moment Rebecca Brothers Columnist Collegian readers! Hello! I’m delighted to write to you normally again, instead of fabricating terrible lies about fictitious administrators. Would it be weird if I said I’ve missed you? We have so much to catch up on. I haven’t told you about the AWP Conference in Boston, which proved that a crowd of 23,000 coffee-swigging novelists, poets, playwrights, MFA professors, writing students, and smallpress publishers is unbeatable for atmosphere.

I haven’t said that if you’re female and angry, it can be very calming to sit up straight, take a deep breath, and think, “Swearing is unbecoming to a lady.” Perhaps most importantly, I haven’t mentioned anything about Lent, which, out of a long-abiding curiosity about the rest of Christianity, I decided to observe for the first time. My chosen sacrifice was dessert — cake, gelato, Nutella, and all other things comforting.

This went directly against the many friends who advised me to give up beer, cigars, or lint, but when Ash Wednesday rolled around, I put my chocolate stash in the top cupboard and shut the door. Starting with the very next day, which was Valentine’s Day (seriously, who planned the calendar this year?), the temptation to eat sugar was a constant challenge. As the news of grad school acceptances rolled into my circle of friends, they would often head to Dairy Queen for celebratory Blizzards, while I would have to be content with a celebratory paper napkin.

trying to figure out exactly how Sherlock faked his own death, and covering new ground in my ongoing contest for Most Entertaining Article Title in a Legitimate Publication. The former third-place holder, “Scotland Becomes Wedding Destination for Jedis” from the BBC, was booted out by another BBC title, “Wave of Prawn Deaths Baffles Chile.” The second- and first-place holders still stand unchallenged: respectively, “Woman in Sumo Wrestler Suit Assaults ExGirlfriend Who Waved at Man Dressed as a Snickers Bar” from The Huffington Post and “Staten Island Teen With Mayonnaise Jar Full of Marijuana Finds He Cannot Outrun a Horse” from the Staten Island Advance.

“‘Scotland Becomes Wedding Destination for Jedis’ was booted out by ‘Wave of Prawn Deaths Baffles Chile.’”

Spring break was an especially dangerous time, but a few things kept me busy and away from the cupcakes: working, reading,

Another source of diversion was email, as the Nigerian princes and offshore pharmacies were particularly prolific over spring break. Having no need of raw gold dust or Viagra, I went about cleaning out these unread messages, feeling uncomfortably like a Cyberman as I did so. (“DELETE. DELETE. DELETE.”) One of the messages had the heading “Pure Saffron,” and being a thrifty cook, I had a moment of elation before I realized that this was not an offer of cheap threads but the sender’s name, and the subject line was actually “Lose 11 lbs. in 7 days!!!!” Bitterly disappointed, I consoled myself by imagining a marketing chat with Pure Saffron. (“First, choose a less misleading sender name. Second, lose the exclamation marks — as Lynne Truss said, they’re like laughing at your own jokes.”) You’ll be glad to hear that since that time, Lent has ended and I’ve been reunited with Nutella.

Don’t get me wrong — it was a great experience, and I would recommend it to anyone.

If nothing else, my paper napkin collection has never been more fabulous.

Chelsea Stewart Contributing Writer

In the shade of a peach-colored house there sits a little girl on a lawn of rapidly drying grass. In front of this girl is a mass of white, fluffy fur that sighs from time to time. The girl is brushing the mass of fur, tugging out clumps here and there with all the gentleness a child can manage.

Eventually, the fur shifts to reveal an enormous head with large, hazel eyes and a drooping snout: The sad face of a colossal canine, complete with drool dripping from the corner of an open and panting mouth.

He eyes the girl and she coos something silly to him before continuing her work on his uncooperative coat. He sighs again and rolls so that she can reach his side better. When she pauses for a moment, he butts her knee with his big head, glaring reproachfully. She giggles.

“What’s the matter, big boy?”

She goes back to brushing, happy to enjoy the peace of a moment.

At this time, the two have known each other for only a matter of months. Years will pass and once again find them sitting in the shade of a house, although this one is more beige, and once again the girl sits beside his shaggy body and brushes him. She brushes with something near reverence, speaking softly to him and rubbing lightly between those big eyes that sag more every day.

It’s summer, and the cicadas are singing again. His face is drooping more, his fur a little less lush and full, and she’s taller, her hair longer and just a bit darker, but it’s the same pair from years ago. She pauses for a moment, and he lifts his head, eyes her like he’s offended, and places an enormous paw on her lap. Just a reminder that he’s still here, and therefore he is the priority. She laughs.

“What’s the matter, big boy?” She goes back to brushing. “Big baby.”

He just grunts and lays back down, rolling just a little so that she can reach his side.

There in the shade of a house in the height of summer, two dear friends enjoy the day, taking delight in each others company and the peace of a moment. In a few weeks she will leave and only come back occasionally to sit with him and brush him until one day she comes home and he isn’t there anymore and all that’s left is an old dog brush and some stray white hairs.

In the peace of a moment, a girl sits alone and mourns.

9

10

PERSPECTIVE

SENATE SEAT OPENINGS District 1 Sittner North one opening

District 13 SM/ACA one opening

Submit your declaration for the position by Friday, April 12. Declarations of candidacy can be found on the ASWWU webpage.

Information: paid position, 2–3 hours/week

OPEN POSITIONS Atlas Manager Collegian Editor-in-Chief Executive Secretary Financial VP Fundraising Manager Marketing VP Mask Editor Mountain Ash Editor Photo Editor Project Manager Tread Shed Manager How to apply: 1. Download application from ASWWU website.

2. Send your résumé, application, and cover letter to aswwu@wallawalla.edu.

3. Wait for your interview.

Look for more ASWWU positions opening during spring quarter.

M

OPINION

PERSPECTIVE

Meat the Veggies Grant Gustavsen

Opinion Editor

For many of us growing up, Stripples have been a breakfast staple. But do we know what a Stripple really is? Many of us, because of religious beliefs, would not touch bacon with a 10-foot pole. But really, which is the healthier alternative?

There are many factors that should be considered, not the least of which are theological. But in the end, could it be that meat substitutes are actually worse for our bodies than the very things they are trying to imitate? Some of the silent killers that can be found in veggie products are sodium, estrogen, and chemically processed ingredients.

Soy-based

veggie

foods

contain

COLLEGIAN WISDOM

phytoestrogens, which are plant-derived hormones. The idea of consuming additional hormones is concerning, and there is evidence to suggest that we should be careful about it. “Processed soy forms can interfere with thyroid function, cause infertility, disrupt menstrual function, and increase risk of breast cancer.”1 This isn’t to say that one should completely abstain from veggie food, especially when attending an Adventist university. It is necessary to get adequate amounts of protein and other nutrients in your diet, and this is often, for vegetarians, one of the few ways to receive these nutrients. Just be sure to exercise moderation when consuming your daily Chik Patty.

1. blisstree.com/2011/03/30/food/processed-meatsubstitutes-may-be-unhealthier-than-actual-meat/.

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Opinion Editor

Tomato, tomahto ... bacon, stripples: it’s all the same anyway. Ask your doctor if any of this food is right for you. Chances are, he or she will say no. But, if you ask them what’s better for you, I would expect to hear tomato — and stripples.

Veggie meats are often soy based, while meat is, well, meat based. Since

The doctors who have used the plant-based diet system solely as a medicine for their patients have never seen someone become worse, and many see full recovery.

If we were all frantic health nuts, the world would be a much less exciting place.

The fact that we eat food our bodies may treat as toxic can’t be overlooked. Within the many small battles, what matters is who won the war. Plant-based diets have proceeded to show undeniably good results, while meat is still stuck arguing that it has more protein. MorningStar may taste gross to some, but there is no Lucifer concept here. Plant-oriented foods will not become bad for your health. I doubt you will find such a track record from real meat.

1. T. Colin Campbell, and Thomas M. Campbell. The China Study, the Most Comprehensive Study of Nutrition Ever Conducted and the Startling Implications for Diet, Weight Loss and Long-Term Health. Dallas: Benbella Books, 2006.

Half of Justin Bieber’s 37 million Twitter followers are fake.

Haters gonna hate.

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In 2005, a book was published by Dr. T. Colin Campbell called The China Study.

Campbell took data from large regions of China and found that with a higher concentration of meat in the diet, there existed a significantly higher rate of cancer.

Flip side, the regions who kept to a plantbased diet were found to have extremely low rates of cancer. In fact, Campbell later explains that “The ratio was 100 to 0,”1 making the book both a controversial read and an incredibly frightening concept.

“Regions who kept to a plant-based diet were found to have extremely low rates of cancer. “

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Elliott Berger

Meat may throw off the balance of antioxidants, phytochemicals, and plant fibers which are vital to remove free radicals in the body. Stamped as unnatural, meat nutritionally throws off what the body expects to be placed in its system, which leads to it being stamped as a foreign product. Your body may treat it like a threat.

China outbreak of bird flu causes price of Chicken McNuggets to plummet.

Americans eagerly await the return of mad cow disease.

You Say Bacon, I Say Stripples there are no unnatural substances on a strictly plant-based diet, the system works as a sort of detoxification method.

Vitamins are boosted, phytochemicals appear more prevalent, and antioxidant levels are increased throughout the body.

Man wins $8,000 settlement from Disneyland after being stuck on “It’s a Small World.”

No amount of money could compensate for such damage.

=

A lot of people think that fake meat is a healthy alternative to real meat,

but allow me to call this assertion into question. Have you ever glanced at the ingredient list on a can of FriChik? I can’t even pronounce most of the things on the list (some of us don’t have time to take O-Chem). Most veggie products are made with many chemically manipulated substances that are unnatural and oftentimes unhealthy. One prominent ingredient that is found in essentially all faux meats, and in large quantities, is sodium chloride — salt. Most of us know that having too much sodium is not good for our system. High sodium intake can lead to high blood pressure, or hypertension, which can contribute to a vast array of health complications, such as heart disease and osteoporosis.

Additionally, high sodium intake can lead to the formation of a happy, healthy young kidney stone.

11

Man charged in $2,000 cheese heist.

Guess what they asked him to say during his mug shot?

In a recent interview, Hugh Hefner claimed that he has been with more than 1,000 women in his lifetime.

Impressive, but for Hef that averages out to about one per year.

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Simon Cowell claims to do several hundred pushups a day.

And to think we first blamed hot air.

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ser ve you! to re e h e ’r e W Photos by Greg Khng

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PERSPECTIVE $60,000

| SM/ACA

Never Give Up on a Child Rachael Coon

Contributing Writer “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord.”1

$47,000

Central America was not where I wanted to go or where I wanted to be. It was the last place on my list and in my heart. But why did I choose this — was it for my glory or for the glory of God? Would I truly be willing to follow Him wherever he took me? As these questions plagued my mind and my heart, all I could hear from heaven was: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.” I am not my own; I am simply a servant, and a servant goes where her master leads. So, hello, Central America.

Three months later, living day by day with 80 plus kids in Belize, and there is no place I would rather be.

Picking one experience to share is an overwhelming task. I’m sure every SM can agree there is story upon story to share with anyone willing to listen. To find just one story ... but my heart turns to one kid: Marcus. Marcus is my 13-yearold student from El Salvador. He is a fighter, he is determined, he is persistent, he is courageous, he is uncertain, he is careful, he is ornery, and he is the one kid who absolutely captured my heart.

My job is to teach him how to read. How was I going to do this with a kid who hated me because I made him do his homework? This was going to be a terribly hard experience.

I was right.

Never have I felt so much animosity from one person before. Each lesson was a battle. He was rude, disrespectful, ran away from me, told me I was stupid, and widely proclaimed his hate for me. Then it changed.

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Mission Mozambique Fundra ising Progress Photo by Rachael Coon

I can only share what I have experienced, and that is the full love of Christ living in me and through me. To be his tutor is the greatest gift I could have been given. It has been a joy to have the opportunities to share my relationship with Jesus with him. To hear him say, “When you were gone, it didn’t feel right. I’m glad you are home.”

The opportunity to hear him read his very first word on his own and now receive hugs instead of glares. These are the moments for which I live.

The moments that I will treasure forever and the moments that will break my heart to leave.

Never give up on a child. Never refuse the doors God opens for you. You do not know the richness waiting behind. “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord.”

1. Isaiah 55:8, NIV.

d, and e and gift I o have with u were ome.” y first nstead I live. nd the

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FEATURE 15

The Future

It’s Your Move.

Elizabeth Jones Feature Editor

Finding a job after graduation can be stressful. In 2012, more than two million recent college graduates were unemployed.1 Whether freshman, sophomore, junior, senior, or super senior, life after college is an ever-present factor in the mind. Some students head into college knowing exactly what steps to take, what internships to get, and what jobs to apply for, but for for the other college students, this article explains three different paths for life after graduation: internships, entry-level jobs, and international jobs.

NTERNSHIPS

s, neird.”

Internships are great options for students, both graduating and non-graduating, who are not sure what type of future career they want to pursue. The list of benefits provided by internships is countless, but one of the biggest benefits of an internship is that it allows students to gain valuable work experience. Students in college or those having just graduated are not usually prime candidates for jobs, but many companies are willing to train inexperienced workers for no or little pay through an internship.

Internships also give students an edge in

the job market because, unlike their peers, students who have had internships have real-work experience and are therefore more valuable to hiring companies. Other ways internships are valuable are that they can turn into full-time positions, they can help determine if the job is the right fit, they can provide networking opportunities, they can provide opportunities to apply classroom knowledge, and they are a great way to gain confidence in the working world.2 When applying for an internship, pay special attention to the requirements.

For example, some require students to be enrolled in an accredited university, whereas others require applicants to have completed a four-year degree. Glassdoor has composed a list of the best company internships by interviewing both past and current interns.

The list rates companies on four different criteria: company rating, interviewdifficulty rating, job title, and average monthly base pay. The list below represents the top 20 highest-rated companies hiring interns (2013).3

This list represents a wide variety of different internships, and while the deadline may have passed to apply for one of these positions this summer, these companies are worth remembering for future years. The Internet is a great way to find internships: Websites such as internmatch.com offer a wide variety of internships in all different types of areas and study. I would suggest applying for many different internships in an attempt to find at least one.

TOP 20 HIGHEST-RATED COMPANIES HIRING INTERNS 1.

6.

11.

16.

2.

7.

12.

17.

3.

8.

13.

JUST

4.

5. Nordstrom

18.

9.

14.

19.

10.

15.

20.

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FEATURE

ENTRY-LEVEL JOB $ What exactly is an entry-level job? For many recent graduates, this is exactly the type of job for which they will be applying.

One definition of an entry-level job is “[b]ottom-level employment in a firm which usually requires ordinary-level education, training, and experience qualifications.

It gives a recruit the benefit of a gainful occupation, opportunity to learn and gain experience, and serves as a stepping-stone for higher-level jobs.”4 While some entrylevel jobs are low paying and might not offer benefits, there are a wide variety of entrylevel jobs that are well-paid. AOL jobs, with the help of payscale.com, composed a list of 10 different careers that offer high salaries for entry-level jobs. The wages are based on full-time employees and the degrees reflect the ones typically held by these employees.5 Entry-level jobs are a great way to break into the job market and to gain valuable experiences. The list above is a great place to start looking and applying for jobs.

Forensic Accountant directs, and coordinates the activities of buyers, purchasing officers, and others involved in buying materials, products, and services)

Median Annual Pay: $51,400 Degree: Bachelor’s (merchandising, marketing, business, or

Power Plant Operator (controls

services, investment advice and banking products to wealthy individuals and institutions)

Median Annual Pay: $69,100 Degree: Bachelor’s (business or finance)

Median Annual Pay: $58,200.

Degree: Bachelor’s (computer science)

Pharmaceutical Sales Representative (provides

drug information and product samples to physicians and monitors prescribing patterns of physicians in a designated geographic area)

Median Annual Pay: $52,900.

Degree: Bachelor’s (pharmaceutical science, pharmacology, toxicology, or related fields).

and monitors security measures that protect computer networks and information)

Median Annual Pay: $54,400.

Degree: High school diploma

operating systems or applications for computers and other devices)

Median Annual Pay: $51,400 Degree: Bachelor’s (accounting or finance — certification may be required)

Network Security Analyst (plans, installs

systems that generate and distribute electric power, which may include shift work)

Median Annual Pay: $55,700.

Degree: Bachelor’s (information technology, mathematics or computer science)

Software Developer (creates

Investment Banking Analyst (provides financial

(examines tax and business records for accuracy and irregularities)

Merchandise Planner (plans,

Actuarial Assistant (assists with setting insurance premium rates and performing related data research) Median Annual Pay: $58,400.

Degree: Bachelor’s (mathematics, actuarial science, statistics or finance)

Business Technology Analyst (helps to improve business performance through the use of information technology)

Median Annual Pay: $69,900.

Degree: Bachelor’s (business, information technology or computer science)

Petroleum Engineer (designs and develops methods for extracting oil and gas from deposits below the earth’s surface and from older wells using novel methods) Median Annual Pay: $87,600.

Degree: Bachelor’s (engineering, preferably petroleum engineering)

FEATURE

INTERNATI NAL JOBS If neither an internship nor an entrylevel job is appealing, a third option for recent graduates — and sometimes college students — is international jobs. In this economy, it can be almost impossible to find a job, and a year or two of international experience can create a competitive advantage for applicants. Additionally, international jobs create exposure to new cultures and business perspectives and offer creative opportunities, increased income, and a way to fill a need.6 All of these advantages are worth considering if the job market remains difficult to enter.

The opportunities abroad for college graduates are immense and provide many opportunities.7 Working abroad allows you to gain a better understanding of the culture and products you will be marketing Small countries, such as New Zealand, often need workers from other countries to help fill the “gap” left by their own recent graduates who have chosen to travel for a year or two to take a job in the U.K. or the Americas. The job

opportunities in countries like this are varied and a perfect solution for graduates looking to live internationally for only a year or two.

Spending a year abroad after graduation offers a great way to transition from college to the working world. Instead of jumping directly into a lifetime career, living abroad can help pad résumés through cultural enhancement, travel opportunities, and unique jobs.

Whether you decide to apply for an internship, to work in an entry-level position, or to spend a year abroad, WWU can help you get started. Job Scene and the Career Center are great resources for students looking for internships or entrylevel jobs. Another great resource is the bulletin boards plastered with internship and job opportunities in the building of your major. These resources are also helpful for students looking to spend a year abroad, as are the Student Missions office and ACA. By taking advantage of all the above possibilities now, you can avoid the panic of summer unemployment and stay one step ahead of your graduating peers.

1. huffingtonpost.com/dr-bonniesnyder/college-graduates-tempwork_b_1672614.html 2. i-to-i.com/benefits-of-internship.html.

3. techcrunch.com/2013/02/15/googlerated-the-best-place-to-internin-2013-followed-by-qualcommmicrosoft-intel-and-cisco.

4. businessdictionary.com/definition/ entry-level-job.html.

5. This list reflects the exact content of the article “10 High-Paying EntryLevel Jobs” found at jobs.aol.com/ articles/2013/03/25/high-payingentry-level-jobs.

6. ehow.com/list_6324529_advantagesinternational-jobs.html.

7. hrpeople.monster.com/education/ articles/3248-the-ultimateinternational-job-guide-for-collegegraduates.

International Job Opportunities Teaching (especially teaching English) French Cultural Services Japanese Exchange Teaching Program Volunteering Peace Corps Teach for America (U.S.) Medicine

NursingLink AllHealthCare Corporate jobs Advertising Gap year Apply for other international entry-level positions

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18

LIFE

CULTURE

Confessions of an Amazon Addict Grant Perdew Culture Editor

What if there were a place where you could buy literally everything? And no, I don't mean Walmart and what they define as "everything."

No, I mean you could buy a collector's edition Lego set from 1979, 30 eight-ounce bottles of chloroform, Barbara Streisand's entire collection on cassette, and a pepper-spray iPhone case, all in one purchase. Such a place exists, and it's called Amazon.com. This glorious lifesaver of a website delivers music, movies, books, and other goods to your front door. And I'm admitting it: I have an addiction to Amazon.com.

If you're anything like me, you love spending your hard-earned cash on new products. I mean, who would want to save up for lame things like college, vacations, or that new car when you could just buy thousands of bendy straws? As much as I'd like to head to the store and stock up on these, our hectic, 21st-century schedules don't really leave us any time for shopping. That's why, when I'm running short on stainless-steel knives and blue face paint, I turn to the Internet and a magical website called Amazon.com.

Some people may say that Amazon is only for books and music, and if you want the random and weird, you should head to sites like eBay or Craigslist. The bidding feature on eBay is quite splendid as well; I have given a fair amount of cash to various sellers there for assorted odds and ends. But, contrary to popular belief, Amazon is just as full of goodies! Just give the search a chance.

You may be wary of shopping online.

It's understandable. The prices are often suspiciously low, and identity theft is at an alltime high these days. But sometimes you're just sitting at your computer and Glamdring, the sword of Gandalf, is staring back at you for the measly price of $199.95. As much as you'd like to Dumpster dive to find your collectible shards of metal and vintage pieces of rope, you can find these same treasures online and shipped to your door in just a few days.

Next time you are about to head to the grocery store to stock up on the usual Top Ramen and Cocoa Puffs, know that on Amazon, you can subscribe — yes, subscribe — to cereal. You will never have to see another person again because your breakfast delights will arrive in your mailbox with the latest issue of EatingWell. Did you spill your milk? No need to cry: Amazon has nearly 20,000 cleaning products from

which to choose. Thank goodness, too, because obviously the war against microscopic germs is unwinnable because the world is fundamentally and irreversibly unclean. Fortunately, with so many cleaning products just a click away, we'll be all right.

Punk'd Punct.

One of the best things about Amazon (and eBay, for that matter) is product reviews. When you're deciding if you really want to buy that giant dispenser of 6,620 foam earplugs, the words of the people who've made this purchase can influence your choice.

Are you going to believe Bryan Stockton from Vermont when he says that the earplugs don't successfully keep him from smelling his mother-in-law's salmon dinner? I sure would.

Overall, Amazon is the place to go.

It's convenient, fast, affordable, and easy.

Why not pride ourselves on being a lazy culture?

I'd write more about how Amazon has changed my life, but I have to make an order of my 24 pack of aluminum foil. Peace and blessings.

collegehumor.com/article/6872071/8-new-and-necessary-punctuation-marks

SPRING SERENADES Listen online at tinyurl.com/a3cqe5y.

MS MR

Justin Timberlake

Daughter

tUnE-yArDs

Xavier Rudd

ODESZA

Marina and the Diamonds

Night Beds

"Bones" You may have heard this eerie Florence Welch–esque ballad on the recent trailer for Game of Thrones.

Winter is coming.

"Spirit Bird"

Embrace your inner tree hugger with this fabulous, inspiring anthem about the earth. Positive vibes in package; incense not included.

"Tunnel Vision" Seven years have passed since the former N*SYNCer put out an album, but Justin makes up for lost time with his new piece of gold.

"I Want You"

Straight out of the PNW comes this sun-trickled summer collaboration by two recent college graduates.

"Youth" The up-and-coming English indie folkers have mastered the art of nostalgia in sound in their new album.

"How to Be a Heartbreaker"

With her cabaret heart, Welsh singer Marina Diamandis croons with biting, brash wordplay, resulting in downright cheekiness.

"Bizness" Digging hard grooves out of spindly, spare arrangements, these West African–flavored, polyrhythm-filed tunes will have everyone on their toes.

"Even if We Try"

Winston Yellen's voice takes on a pure kind of thirst when wrapped in the sonic landscapes this warm, folky band devises.

DIVERSIONS

LIFE

19

I'm Coming Clean Lately, if you couldn’t tell, I’ve been slightly depressed. And because of my depression, I’ve brought to light some very pressing issues, like Amanda Bynes being clinically diagnosed as an Diversions Editor idiot; Nickelback and their amazing lack of musical talent; and Eminem is, in fact, white. But other than that, I haven’t talked about my problems and inner Honey Boo Boo demons. So I’m coming clean. One thing that I can’t get enough of is The Real Housewives. I love them: NeNe Leakes is my spirit animal. Honestly, the show makes me feel better about my life; who wouldn’t want to watch a show about post-menopausal women trying to balance the fact that they hate themselves with the fact that they hate themselves? Also, I will listen to almost anything that has Britney Spears in it — it’s a personal problem, I know that. But one of the things that I really struggle with is being too honest.

For instance, over break I met a man who informed me that his biggest struggle in life is ice cream. I told him that I found that very interesting because I thought it was ugly polo shirts. My last and final addiction (and yes, I only have four addictions) is the TV show Game of Thrones. It's basically a Mexican soap opera that meets a mafia family who had a loathed blonde kid with entitlement issues, all set in a medieval time period, in an alternate world, with a giant wall. It’s amazing.

Eric Weber

Need advice? Ask an anonymous question at collegianadvice.tumblr.com and we can work this out together.

I promise.

FIRST AMAZON PURCHASE

20

LIFE

SPORTS

SPORTS

College Athletes Leaving Their Diploma Behind Tye Forshee

Sports Editor

Softball 6 p.m. and 7:15 p.m.

Monday – Thursday

Since Louisville won the NCAA tournament on Monday, many college basketball players have decided to leave college by the wayside and declare for the draft. Most of the players who declare for the NBA draft are not going to finish college, and many players don’t even end up having a lengthy NBA career (the average length of the NBA career is about five and a half years). Take Louisville’s Russ Smith for example: As a junior, he decided to forgo a chance to finish his degree and entered the NBA draft. The problem is that many teams don’t feel he has the requisite talent for a lengthy career in the NBA. Smith is currently predicted by most to be drafted in the late

Soccer 6 p.m. and 8:40 p.m.

Monday – Thursday

Roc Solid

Women's Softball Sunday, April 14, noon WWU vs. University of Oregon (Club)

Spring Quarter Intramural Schedule

Floor Hockey 8:15 p.m. and 9:15 p.m., Tuesday and Thursday Volleyball 7:30 p.m., 8:15 p.m., 9 p.m., 9:45 p.m.

Monday and Wednesday Check out facebook.com/ wallawallaintramurals for schedules, scores, and more.

Trevor Boyson

Sports Editor

As much as we might profess loyalty to our favorite teams, often for life, the relationship between a franchise and their players has been much different for a long time. Long gone are the days where a player was likely to spend his entire career with one team, whatever the sport. Agents emerged to represent and advise players as they would change teams via free agency, trades, or when renegotiating contracts.

Last week, New York Yankee Robinson Canó was named to be the first client of rapper Jay-Z’s Roc Nation sports agency. A player signing to a new agency or agent isn’t new, but this move could be the sign of a subtle, but important, shift in the world of sports, indicating that a new era has arrived.

Teams and players have always looked out for themselves, but it was generally only the franchises that worried about what their brand

second round. If Smith were to finish his degree at Louisville and then declare for the draft, he would have a career to fall back on if an NBA career doesn’t work out.

Entering the NFL is even a larger risk for student athletes. An average NFL career lasts for three to five years. A study done concerning the success of NFL players found that college graduates in the NFL earned up to 30 percent more money during their career, and they also had longer careers in the NFL. In short, playing all through college will help hone their skills and create a higher level of maturity and responsibility, resulting in a longer career.

The other problem with many college athletes leaving early is the sudden financial responsibility involved when entering professional sports. Many players spend all the money that they receive; once their relatively short career is finished, they have no money

meant to the public. In the announcement, Shawn “Jay-Z” Carter said, “Because of my love of sports, it was a natural progression to form a company where we can help top athletes in various sports the same way we have been helping artists in the music industry for years.” Similar to the way those music

"I'm ready to take a more active role in my endeavors both on and off the field." industry professionals worry about their personal brand, so too will athletes.

If you think about it: The thought is not that outlandish. Certain elite athletes have already ridden sponsorships to big money.

The likes of Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods,

saved and in some cases they have to file for bankruptcy. More college experience helps athletes gain a higher level of responsibility and makes them less likely to throw away their money.

Many people argue that once players retire, they could easily just go back to college and finish their degree. The problem, however, is that historically players have not gone back to college. What people also don’t realize is that many of these athletes were going to college at the time with full-ride scholarships or highly discounted tuition rates. If they were going to try and go to school after their retirement, they would be paying the full rate of tuition.

Seeing many athletes throwing away a free diploma for a chance at a few years in professional sports is a large risk that oftentimes does not pay off.

just to name a few, have had their own sports apparel brands for years.

But Canó is different. Yes, he is easily one of the best players in baseball, but the key is that while he isn’t necessarily a household name internationally like Rafael Nadal or Wayne Rooney, it would appear that with Roc Nation’s help he wants to grow his own brand. Canó said, “At this point in my career, I am ready to take a more active role in my endeavors both on and off the field.”

From here on out players, will start representing their own brand (themselves) more and more. Look at LeBron James: The moment he left Cleveland, he resolutely became his own brand. There are fans, not of the Miami Heat, but of LeBron himself who have told me they will follow him wherever he goes, no matter the team. James' example is obviously the most extreme considering his status of stardom. but it will be intriguing to note when players of Canó's stature start worrying not only what their performance on the field means, but what it means off the field as well.

FOODIE

LIFE

21

Layered Greek Dip Amy Alderman Food Editor

Did you get a chance to go to the international food festival on Sunday night? If you did, I hope you had a great time trying different dishes from

around the globe. I had the opportunity to munch on food from all around the world — a foodie’s paradise.

the WWU Amnesty International Club, it was quite a success. Thank you all for your hard work!

I hope you had a chance to stop by The Collegian’s booth, featuring food from Greece. The booth featured a falafel sandwich and two different kinds of Greek salad. Thanks to the volunteer hours of staff from The Collegian and

To continue the theme from the food festival, I stumbled upon this delicious recipe while brainstorming ideas for the Greek booth. If you’ve ever had a sevenlayer dip before, this is very similar to that — except with a Greek twist. This

recipe was quite a hit when I made it — try to have some extra on hand in case it runs out too quickly.

ports

Layered Greek Dip

y one e key ehold al or with own areer, n my

start elves) : The lutely not of who erever mple ng his uing tart nce the

Yield: approx. 8–10 servings

What you’ll need: knife, 8x8" dish or platter 1½ cups prepared hummus 1 cup chopped cucumber 1 cup chopped tomato ½ cup chopped and pitted Kalamata olives

⅓ cup sliced green onions ½ cup crumbled feta cheese Toasted pita bread or pita chips

Spread the hummus in a serving dish. Top with the rest of the ingredients in order listed. Cover and refrigerate for at least two hours before eating and up to 12 hours prior to serving. Serve with bread or pita chips.

Photos by Amy Alderman

Make Your Own Pita Bread

Feeling adventurous? Try making your own pita bread. Although I have never done it myself, after speaking with many people who have, they say that quite easy to do and tastes much better than what you buy from the store. At this link you will find a simple, easy pita bread recipe: bit.ly/QPidb.

22

LIFE

TRAVEL

April Showers and Flowers

Photo by Flickr user GoToVan

Megan Cleveland Travel Editor

It’s finally spring quarter! Bring on the shorts, sunglasses, and procrastination.

Now we can put the dull, gray thoughts of winter behind us and look forward to the sunshine, warmth, and beauty that a spring in Walla Walla brings. One of my favorite parts of springtime is watching all the new flowers bloom and all the trees and bushes on campus explode with brilliantly colored blossoms. Although springtime in the valley is gorgeous, there are several events and festivals in the Northwest dedicated to this unique aspect of spring.

Located just outside of Seattle, the Skagit Valley is home to one of the most popular tulip festivals in the country. The Skagit Valley Tulip Festival takes place each year beginning April 1 and ending April 30.

The festival attracts people from all over the country who come to explore the hundreds of acres of blooming tulips. The festival spills into May, when it features iris and lily fields instead.

Pike Place Market, located in downtown Seattle, also has its own flower festival. This annual tradition takes place on Mother’s Day weekend, May 11 and 12. Flower stalls line the market and flood the nearby streets.

Flower farmers from nearby counties set up over 40 tents in the market and sell their

harvests of sweet-smelling flowers. This is a great way to enjoy the beauty of spring and perhaps to pick up a special bouquet for your mom!

Lastly, the Portland Rose Festival is a string of events that ultimately builds up to Memorial Day weekend. Festivities this year begin May 19 and continue until June 16. Events include a lighting ceremony and a fireworks show to kick it off, a starlight parade, a rose show, a floral parade, and a fleet week where naval vessels from the U.S. Navy, U.S. Coast Guard, and the Canadian Maritime Forces are available to view and

tour. For a full list of events and dates, visit rosefestival.org/events.

Make the most of your spring quarter, get out there and enjoy the sun, and be sure you take time to smell the roses!

For more information about these festivals, visit: ■ rosefestival.org ■ tulipfestival.org ■ pikeplacemarket.org/news_events/events_ promotions#event-99

EWB UPDATE AND HEALTH & WELLNESS

EWB Update Hope for the Globe More than 50 people cleared their evening schedules on March 9 to enjoy a night filled with laughs, great food, and giving. Our fifth annual fundraising gala was a smashing success, raising more than the club’s goal of $10,000.

Participants donated to WWU's Engineers Without Borders' international project fund through silent and live auctions, a delicious dessert dash, and fun games. At the beginning of the event, we revealed our top two choices for our next international development projects, which are located in Guatemala and Peru.

EWB WWU would like to thank everyone who made this event a success and thank them for also enabling us to take another step closer to bettering the lives of others.

New Project It’s official: We have our next international development project. Over spring break, EWB sent two small travel teams to Machaquila, Guatemala, and Checacupe, Peru, in order to assess the proposed project opportunities in each respective region. Dr. Curt Nelson, WWU engineering professor, and Bryce Hill, EWB WWU project vice president, travelled to Peru; our chapter president, Alex Clouzet, flew on his own to Guatemala.

After much consideration, EWB WWU is ready to commit the next couple of years to improving the quality of life in Llutuyo, Peru, as voted by the executive committee last Thursday. “Three hundred people, no electricity, no bathrooms, no clean water,” is how Bryce Hill sums up the project. EWB WWU is excited about taking on this new challenge and hopes that you will be part of this new effort for bringing hope to the globe.

Project Team Applications EWB is now accepting project team applications from those who are interested in getting deeply involved with the Peru project. While the travel team will be drawn from this pool, there are many more opportunities and needs that are just as important. These include engineering design, forms for EWB-USA, communication with the community, fundraising efforts, and many other tasks that are necessary for a complete internationaldevelopment project.

If you are an EWB member, you should have already received an email with the application attached. For nonmembers, you can find applications at the School of Engineering's front desk.

We look forward to working with all of you.

Email ewb@wallawalla.edu for further questions.

LIFE 23

Bloomin' Daze Karl Wallenkampf Health & Wellness Editor

As you read this, you have somewhere around 24 days until Bloomsday at 9 a.m. on Sunday, May 5, 2013, in the great city of Spokane, Wash. You might ask, “What is Bloomsday?” Well, before I say what it is, I’ll just say that it involves movement, which involves burning calories, which I hear is a good start to weight loss. You have been warned. Beyond that, it’s a 12-kilometer race.

Hard facts first: I’ll lay out the race for you. First off, it’s about a mile of flat road, at which point you will descend for half a mile. There are two more halfmile ascents (with some level ground in between) until mile four, at which point there is another descent to the Spokane River.

Here is where the fun begins. As you descend to the river, you look up to your left and you see this road (6.5 percent grade) rising up into the heavens, somewhat like Jacob’s ladder, but substitute sweaty-headbanded joggers for beatific angels. This is the affectionately named “Doomsday Hill,” which batters triedand-true runners from a 6:15 pace to a 6:30.1 Just know that after the hill, there are several miles of flat road until the slight downhill sprint to the finish.

and churches and groups that put up booths all along the track, serving and selling water and drinks and donuts and Otter Pops. The best thing along the way is the music, though.

Band after band decides that their surest way to fame is to play for Bloomsday. You run by rock bands, pop bands, American Idol3 hopefuls — some with actual talent. Overall, it’s a 50,000-person walking and running party.

If you want to train at all, here’s an opportunity: The WWU Running Club has been in action since the beginning of the year, running on Sunday mornings. While the club activities require a fee, the weekly morning run on Sundays at 8 a.m. (meet at the DX) can vary in length to fit your needs and allows time to connect with other lovers of exercise and physical pain for a greater gain.

If you want to receive emails about when and where our runs take place, either email me at karl. wallenkampf@ wallawalla.edu, or our sponsor, Gary Rittenbach, at gary.rittenbach@ wallawalla.edu.

But back to the race: There are some who actually run the race to win and receive thousands of dollars for their strenuous effort. There is a prize for first place, and a prize for the first American citizen to finish. Hmmm.

So I challenge you to run it and to get that first prize. Just know some gentleman from Ethiopia flew over to beat you. No pressure.

"As you descend to the river, you look up to your left and you see this road rising up into the heavens, somewhat like Jacob’s ladder, but substitute sweatyheadbanded joggers for beatific angels."

However, be ye not dismayed by the course!

It’s actually very fun. Last year, over 48,000 people finished the race.2 Given the numbers, it’s quite a production. There are organizations

1. I made that up.

2. "Bloomsday #36 — May 6, 2012," Bloomsday: History, bloomsdayrun.org/media/17770/ BloomsdayHistory2007_Present.doc.

3. Soooo 2000s.

The Heel “Baked fresh every week.”

Battle of the Bands is Saturday, May 4, in Davis Elementary’s gym at 8:15 p.m. All proceeds benefit Davis!

Verbatim

SUPER JEWEL QUEST The drill: old-school scavenger hunting! Scour campus for the three jewels I’ve hidden. This week, two of them are wandering. Hints will be posted on sjqww.tumblr.com as needed. Email me for prizes!

Which professor would be best at rescuing damsels/ dandies in distress?

“Curtis Kuhlman.”

Bree Wilson

“Be quiet! I’m trying to talk to Siri. Don’t laugh, I get nervous when I talk to girls.”

— Dillon VanBuren

“Egbert.”

Christopher Weaver

“I know it’s graphic, but it’s in the Bible.”

— Brant Berglin

“Don’t date cute-but-stupid.”

— Melodie Selby

“Dr. Scott. He’s quite a historian as well as musician.”

Brenna Nakamura

“Chantel, are you a square?” “... Yeah.”

— Emily Tillotson and Chantel Mote, in a sociology game

“Nugget is never a good word to use in any situation.”

— Chloe Cummings, in speech class

Hear something funny? Report it! julian.weller@wallawalla.edu

Julian Weller The Heel Editor

Onions, we made it! If you’re reading these words means not only was our April Fools’ issue allowed to exist after printing this year, but we were able to successfully overthrow the anonymous Millerite group that temporarily overcame stunned Emily Muthersbaugh in a decisive moment in the 2013 Siege of ASWWU. I often find myself thinking, a little like a Millerite, “Everything is connected. It all adds up.” I say “a little” provincially, though. Institutions like marriage exist in cultures around the world; The Norse, Greek, and (dare I say it?) Christian pantheons all feature wise bearded mandeities with important sons; many cultures use the tree as a symbol for the life/death, fruit/seed cycle of the world; the Hero’s

Journey is a common narrative structure that you can find in many classic tales.

There are other, perhaps less significant similarities as well that are still interesting: many cultures develop similar instruments — Russia, Greece, Ireland, Peru, and others all have their own versions of the mandolin; women and the moon both run on monthly calendars; men and women naturally smell more attractive to each other the better their genetic match; the list goes on. Comparisons abound, and looking at these patterns can tell us a lot about ourselves as a species, or a subculture.

One melting pot of subcultures and human tropes that I love is a cartoon and comic series created by Pendleton Ward: Adventure Time. My pattern-noticing, connection- drawing side gets to keep drawing bridges and watching AT’s writers swerve in new directions. AT isn’t made of fart jokes and fight scenes; it’s witty and referential. Actually, Adventure Time is the only TV show I still watch.

“I would say Troy Fitzgerald.”

Austin Ebner

“Probably Monty Buell. The first thing that popped into my head was Monty Buell during JumpStart walking into Village Hall with a shotgun. ” Kyle Bahnsen AT’s writers surprise viewers by playing with the common storytelling forms and themes that we’ve grown to expect. It’s a reference playground. Writers draw on chivalric myths, remixed YouTube videos, comic book culture and video game culture, Dungeons & Dragons, film genres, and more.

At the end of an episode, just as you think main characters Jake the Dog and Finn the Human are going to learn a lesson, they use magic to get out of it, or sing a song, or just forget everything that happened and resume reading a book.

But I’ll admit Adventure Time isn’t for everyone. A lot of the show’s premises are straight out of geek culture. AT’s creators are also strongly influenced by Japanese cartoon culture, and small parts of the show might not make sense if you’re unfamiliar.

So, sharing Adventure Time is a mixed endeavor, and sharing something as referential as AT can be disappointing if you’re with someone who isn’t interested in engaging with something new. I’m always disappointed

to hear reactions like “That’s so random!” or, a sentence straight out of high school, “They must have been so high when they made this!”

To me it’s like reading a poem and only saying “That’s deep.” Those statements are usually the end of the interaction. Why not look for more?

Make connections.

Adventure Time’s beauty is in its blending.

Because it touches on so many themes and styles from different subcultures, I think Adventure Time is even more relatable. It just depends on whether or not you let yourself look deeply. Even though it’s silly, Adventure Time shouldn’t be taken lightly. All of the riffs on theme and spoofs of genre come together into one colorful world, and it’s not an exclusive one—it’s collaborative. Life’s a lot better when people learn to appreciate what they don’t understand at first. Might as well start with Jake the Dog and Finn the Human.

1. Because I don’t count Game of Thrones as a show. It’s like a serialized movie.