Volume 97, Issue 7 by The Collegian

8 November 2012 Volume 97 Issue 7

AMATEUR 9 HOUR 3

2 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Emily Muthersbaugh

INTRODUCTION

HEAD LAYOUT EDITOR Ricky Barbosa HEAD COPY EDITOR Cedric Thiel HEAD PHOTO EDITOR Josh McKinney

Emily Muthersbaugh

CONTENT DIRECTOR Philip Duclos

NEWS EDITOR Jaclyn Archer

Editor-in-Chief

RELIGION EDITORS Rob Folkenberg Nick Ham COLUMNIST Rebecca Brothers CREATIVE WRITING EDITOR Kayla Albrecht OPINION EDITORS Elliott Berger Grant Gustavsen FEATURE EDITORS Braden Anderson Elizabeth Jones James Mayne Christian Robins CULTURE EDITOR Grant Perdew DIVERSIONS EDITOR Eric Weber TRAVEL EDITOR Megan Cleveland HEALTH & WELLNESS EDITOR Karl Wallenkampf SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY EDITOR Spencer Cutting

After yesterday’s elections, the use of marijuana (with differing stipulations) has been legalized in its first two states: Washington and Colorado. New York has elected its first openly gay congressman, and New Hampshire became the first state to elect all female representatives in Congress. Recent census estimates indicate that 50.4 percent of babies born in the U.S. in 2011 were of minority ethnicities, marking a monumental shift in the country’s future demographics. In less than 30 years, the traditional white majority will become a minority group.

Significant changes are underway in America. The makeup of the country’s population and the choices we are making in policy and representation indicate that we are both affected by and working within a shifting framework. Our environments are continually in a state of flux on both a small and a large scale. Temperatures and daylight hours are changing; the individuals that we interact with every day are changing; the political powers that represent us are changing. Whether we approve of it or reject it, this change elicits a response.

While change can be seen negatively as disruptive or unnecessary, it can also be the driver of progress. Without change, we could be left with a slave-based economy, a lack of enfranchisement for minorities and women, and many other practices which have generally been gladly left behind. I believe in change. Though uncomfortable, change forces me to reevaluate my circumstances and recognize opportunities to grow. With the many changes that have come in the events of this week, I am reminded once again to consider: Where do opportunities lie in the change that surrounds me? How will I respond in the most productive way?

FOOD EDITOR Amy Alderman

STAFF WRITER

SPORTS EDITORS Trevor Boyson Tye Forshee

POSITIONS AVAILABLE

THE HEEL EDITOR Julian Weller STAFF WRITERS Amy Alderman Jennifer Buyco Annie Palumbo Liz Pham LAYOUT DESIGNERS Allison Berger Alix Harris Greg Khng Cory Sutton COPY EDITORS Amy Alderman Rebecca Brothers Carly Leggitt Ryan Robinson DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Alex Wickward OFFICE MANAGER Heather Eva SPONSOR Don Hepker EDITORIAL BOARD Braden Anderson Jaclyn Archer Elliott Berger Philip Duclos Rob Folkenberg Grant Gustavsen Elizabeth Jones James Mayne Emily Muthersbaugh Christian Robins Julian Weller AD SALES MANAGER Brenda Negoescu aswwu.ads@wallawalla.edu

Contact Emily Muthersbaugh for more information. Photo by Greg Khng

Context

3–7

ASWWU/Admin Week in Review Week in Forecast News Opinion

Photo by Carlton Henkes

Perspective Snapshots Religion Column Creative Writing

8–11

Photo by Amy Alderman

Photo by Anthony White

Life 12–16

Diversions Foodie Culture Science & Sports

Our staff works hard each week to deliver new and relevant content. If you are interested in contributing to The Collegian, contact our page editors or the editor-in-chief at: aswwu.collegian@wallawalla.edu. The Collegian is boosted by regularly incorporating a wide range of student perspective. Cover Photo Credit: Carlton Henkes, Amy Alderman, Arella Aung, Amy Alderman. The Collegian is the official publication of ASWWU. Its views and opinions are not necessarily the official stance of Walla Walla University or its administration, faculty, staff, or students. Questions, letters, and comments can be mailed to aswwu.collegian@wallawalla.edu or emily.muthersbaugh@wallawalla.edu. This issue was completed at 1:31 a.m. on 8 November 2012.

The Collegian | Volume 97, Issue 5 | 204 S. College Avenue | College Place, WA 99324 | collegian.wallawalla.edu

NEWS

Caution

at Night

CONTEXT

By the Numbers

Liz Pham

Staff Writer

A female WWU student had a physical confrontation with an unknown occupant in a dark-colored van on the corner of College Avenue and West Whitman Drive, at 6:15 p.m. last Wednesday. The student was shaken, although unharmed, and was escorted back to her residence by campus security. Although the confrontation did not happen on campus, because one of our students was involved and it happened nearby, campus security is actively looking for any information on the aggressor. “I personally went out to look for information, but with so little description, we don’t have much to work on,” said George Bennett, director of Campus Security at WWU. “Our main emphasis is to keep people as safe as possible.” Bennett also stressed the importance of being cautious. “We are not a closed campus. The students have to think of their own safety,” said Bennett. Students, especially females, are advised to try to avoid shortcuts, to stay in the light, to tell someone where they are going, to be aware of their surroundings, and not to walk alone in the dark. Male students are also encouraged to walk their female friends between buildings or to the dorm. “We used to do that all the time. I don’t know why the guys don’t do that anymore,” said Bennett. The incident was reported to the police, but no further details are being given. Any related information can be reported to the College Place Police Department at (509) 527-1960 or WWU Campus Security at (509) 527-2222.

Photo by Amy Alderman

WWGH to Open New

Emergency Center 15,107 Amy Alderman Staff Writer

A new, state-of-the-art emergency center will be opened at Walla Walla General Hospital this month, completing phase one of a comprehensive $15 million hospital expansion seeking to improve patient convenience and privacy. The ER remodel at WWGH began phase one of construction in October 2011, and phase two is expected to be completed in late spring 2013. “While the new space is up and running, it’s still only half of the picture,” says Linda Givens, director of critical care services at WWGH. “The next step is to remodel the old ER. When that is complete and the two are fully combined, it will enable us to enhance the care we provide to our patients.”

When the two phases are joined, the ER will include a large, comfortable reception area, private triage and registration areas, the latest in bedside and diagnostic technology, modern exam rooms, and areas for specialized and advanced emergency care.

While phase one was being constructed, the ER implemented a new patient-experience journey, called the “Power of RE,” which “RE-thinks” the way patients and staff interact in the ER while providing a “Wait-Free ER” standard of customer service. In addition to doubling the size of the emergency center, the comprehensive remodel and construction project at WWGH will include a total renovation of the front entrance to enhance patient flow, upgrade physician and administrative offices, enlarge the cafeteria, create a new volunteer gift shop, and centralize registration and waiting areas.

PLR Listeners to Buy 272 Tons of Rice for Cambodians On Oct. 30, Positive Life Radio released a statement concerning their recent Rice for Cambodia campaign. This statement has been abridged: COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — Decades after the regime of dictator Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge, Cambodia, among the poorest of nations, still struggles to recover. During the 14th annual Rice for Cambodia Campaign, which recently ended, Positive Life Radio listeners pledged more than $163,000 toward the purchase of rice to feed families in need. During the three-day campaign, station employees were joined by volunteers and student work-

ers. Also part of the event were TransformAsia (transformasia.us) and Musicianaries (mus icianaries.org) — partnering organizations that help fund and distribute the rice. The amount raised during this year’s campaign will buy about 272 tons of rice, which will be distributed next year. It’s not too late to participate. For more information, visit Positive Life Radio online at plr.org or call (800) 355-4757. Positive Life Radio is located on the campus of Walla Walla University.

Posts on Twitter in a single second at 8:20 p.m. on 6 Nov. 2012.

£10,000 Amount Britain’s Foreign Office spent to re-stuff Albert, a 120-year-old anaconda.

300 Points the Dow Jones industrial average dropped on 7 Nov. 2012.

Number of countries Britain has not invaded.

CONTEXT

WEEK IN

REVIEW Photo by Brad LaLonde

Photo by Arella Aung

CABL Bonfire

OPS Vespers

OPS Amateur Hour

2 November

3 November

The quarterly CABL Bonfire vespers headed up to Tiger Canyon and enjoyed a large bonfire, s’mores, and a worship thought.

Troy Ahrens — former RA, OPS member, and Awakening leader — spoke at OPS vespers. Music was led by OPS members.

OPS Amateur Hour featured many diverse performances, ranging from Tyler Jacobson’s winning contortion act to Devon Hunt’s rendition of “Every Major’s Terrible.”

Photo by ASWWU

Photo by ASWWU B r e a t h e . . .

Adventist Forum 3 November Kenneth D. Walters, a 1964 graduate of WWU, spoke on “Business Ethics and the Bible” in the Chan Shun Pavilion Lecture Hall, discussing challenging questions ranging from capitalism to Wall Street.

Photo by Carlton Henkes

Wait, he goes here?

Departmental CommUnity 6 November Fourteen departments led out during Departmental CommUnity with presentations from professors, students, and invited guest speakers.

Speed thurSday

november 8

dating 7 p.m.

alaSka room next to the caf)

(right

CONTEXT

WEEK IN

FORECAST Photo by Arella Aung

Photo by Erik Sanders

Thursday | 8 NOV

Friday |

Amnesty Club Awareness Day for Malala Yousafzai

Erev Shabbat Vespers

48° 27°

9 NOV 41° 23°

8 p.m. University Church

Photo by Greg Khng

Saturday |

10 NOV 38° 22°

Brittni Bryan’s Senior Organ Recital 7:30 p.m. University Church

5–8 p.m. Sweet Basil Pizzeria

Speed Dating 7 p.m. Alaska Room

Photo by Anthony White

Photo by Kate Gref

Sunday | 11 NOV

Monday |

Veterans Day

College Place Meeting of WWU Board of Trustees

44° 30°

Distinguished Faculty Lecture: Karen Tetz 7 p.m. Fine Arts Center

12 NOV 45° 31°

Photo by Penn State Berks

Tuesday |

13 NOV 47° 32°

CommUnity: Carl Wilkens 11 a.m. University Church

General Recital 7:30 p.m. Fine Arts Center

Photo by Greg Khng

Wednesday | 14 NOV

48° 31°

World Diabetes Day

CONTEXT

New Business F.L. 3 – iMac for the Publications Office

NEWS

ASWWU Marketing Annie Palumbo

Purpose: Purchase a new iMac for the ASWWU Publications Office G.L. 6–7 – Financial Responsibility Purpose: Ensure that ASWWU purchases are reviewed by the FVP and Senate Finance Committee G.L. 8 – FVP Job Description Update Purpose: Add weekly meeting with Senate Finance Committee chair to FVP responsibities G.L. 9 – ASWWU Credit Cards Purpose: Provide credit cards for ASWWU exective branch G.L. 10 – EVP Tardy Policy Purpose: President Pro Tempore to lead Senate if EVP starts 7 or more minutes late; adds disciplinary action if this occurs three or more times. P.L. 62–63 – Media Board Appointments Purpose: Amy Alderman and Caleb Barcenas for Media Board.

Old Business G.L. 2 – Update of Senate Procedural Rules G.L. 3 – Senate Committee Secretaries G.L. 4 – Senate Tardy Policy

Staff Writer

Over the summer, an ASWWU restructuring took place, specifically involving the ASWWU marketing vice president position. In consultation with the ASWWU sponsor and other executive cabinet members, ASWWU President Emily Oliver decided to suspend the marketing vice president position. When asked about this decision, Oliver said, “We came to a point where, for the sake of marketing deadlines, we felt as though it was necessary to assign various members of the ASWWU cabinet with the most urgent marketing tasks, such as the ASWWU T-shirt, the welcome back banner, and other promotional items for the JumpStart program. Yes, this is somewhat unorthodox, but as president, I felt as though it was the right course of action to take.” The marketing VP position was a fairly recent addition to the ASWWU cabinet and still has yet to be fully developed, according to the ASWWU executive branch. According to ASWWU Executive Vice President Jason Birkenstock, in previous years, the marketing has wrestled with identifying the best organizational strategy to avoid “unnecessary red tape.”

G.L. 5 – Suspension of Campus Life Committee P.L. 53–61 – Various personnel hires

Since the suspension of the marketing vice president position, several branches of ASWWU (social, spiritual, The Atlas, and the Tread Shed) have hired their own designers. “This way, they would not have to constantly be using different designers, trying to explain what they were wanting, and dealing with a more convoluted communication system”: by not having a marketing VP, there is no middle man between departments and designers, according to Oliver. However, the marketing VP position has previously been in charge of more than just posters. ASWWU TV has been another responsibility of the position. Some complications have kept it out of service, but those issues are being worked through, according to Oliver. Additionally, the marketing VP has previously overseen the ASWWU webmaster position. Oliver, who previously served for two years as a webmaster for WWU’s marketing and enrollment services, has now absorbed the responsibilities of the ASWWU webmaster. The suspension of the marketing VP position will end in January. At that time, Oliver says, “My vice president, Jason Birkenstock, and I will consult each department of ASWWU, asking how they feel their department’s marketing presence has been throughout fall quarter. Based on their recommendation, we will consider

reinstating necessary.”

the

position

deemed

Another project of ASWWU marketing, begun before the summer, was to release an ASWWU app. Oliver, who now oversees its release, communicated that a test version was received at the end of October, with a release of the full version expected before Christmas. The app will include things like information on events, calendars, notifications, sports updates, The Mask, and The Collegian. It will be available for current and future students, as well as family and community members, helping to open lines of communication between ASWWU and the community. Oliver says, “In the end, our hope is simply to create a better, more streamlined ASWWU that uses the least amount of student dues possible.” This year, the focus is on communication. Oliver points out that she is trying to include as much open communication in her administration as possible. If students have anything they need to talk about concerning the university, specifically an ASWWU-related issue, they are encouraged to approach Oliver. “Good, bad, or ugly, students can come talk and I will pass things along to my cabinet.” Even through this time of transition, Oliver is optimistic for the future of ASWWU marketing.

Have something you want the student body to discuss? Email aswwu@wallawalla.edu with your topic for the ASWWU Confab.

2012 Presidential Election Results Senate Update SENATE UPDATE

Jennifer Buyco Staff Writer

On Tuesday, Nov. 6, 2012, the 57th quadrennial United States presidential election took place. That night, President Barack Obama, Democrat, was reelected for a second term as president of the United States. It was a tight race, as President Obama won 50.3 percent of the popular vote with 60,481,654 votes,

while the Republican challenger, Mitt Romney, took 48.1 percent of the popular vote with 57,678,893 votes. Obama won 303 electoral votes, while Romney gained 206 electoral votes. The votes in Florida are too close right now to project a clear winner for that state, but Obama carried 25 states, plus Washington, D.C., and Romney carried 24 states. “Tonight you voted for action, not politics as usual,” declared President Obama in his accep-

tance speech in Chicago early Wednesday morning. He closed the speech by announcing to the country, “We are and forever will be the United States of America. And together, with your help and God’s grace, we will continue our journey forward and remind the world just why it is that we live in the greatest nation on Earth.”

A Holistic Response Grant Gustavsen Opinion Editor

Currently, FEMA is $18 billion in debt to the Treasury Department as a result of Hurricane Katrina. Flooding damage is estimated to be in the billions of dollars, and FEMA is responsible for flood insurance, as private companies do not insure against flood damage. To cover these flood-insurance claims, FEMA currently has access to $3.8 billion, mostly in loans.1 If flood claims drain this fund, it’s likely that Congress will be forced to step in and cover the tab, increasing the already-bloated deficit and adding even more burden to taxpayers. After two major natural disasters, Hurricanes Katrina and Sandy, it’s become clear that, on their own, FEMA and the

federal government cannot sufficiently and effectively provide relief for the entire population of those affected. And it’s not that we need more government; it’s that we need better government, and better cooperation with private entities as well as local and state governments. In the words of Craig Fugate, director of FEMA, “All aspects of a community (volunteer, faith, and community-based organizations, the private sector, and the public, including survivors themselves) — not just the government — [are necessary] to effectively prepare for, protect against, respond to, recover from, and mitigate against any disaster.”2 Presidential politics aside, I hope that we can see this vision played out more effectively in the future than it has been in the past. 1. money.cnn.com/2012/10/31/news/economy/fema-flood-sandy/index.html. 2. fema.gov/pdf/about/state_of_fema/state_ of_fema.pdf.

Opinion Editor

OPEN ASWWU POSITIONS: Mt. Ash Editor ASWWU TV Manager ASWWU Webmaster Collegian Webmaster Social Marketing Assistant Marketing Vice President

There is a habit of helping when disasters strike populated areas. It seems like whenever there is a gust of wind off the coasts, it is casually greeted by hordes of NPO’s and millions of dollars

It’s not like a government — of the people, by the people, and for the people — to actually want to help its people. I think the politicians realized that it was becoming more difficult for some on the East Coast to watch the elections due to the power outages, so they decided to do something about it to help. Armed with nothing but past experience and a couple billion dollars, FEMA was given responsibility to restore public transportation, the New York Stock Exchange, and health care services, as well as provide for the basic needs of all the storm victims moved to safety. No doubt, this task is monstrous, and it would be a much bigger hassle had it not been a government-backed organization. I thought FEMA was in the leg, but it’s proving to be a backbone of our national security. I don’t believe any other agency

C =

The Federal Emergency Management Agency became a part of the United States Department of Homeland Security in March 1, 2003. FEMA is gifted an annual budget of around $5.5 billion and responds to national emergencies and hazards of nearly every form, often playing game-changing roles. Some say that disaster relief should not be headed by the government due to the economic pit we are in, yet, most recently, Hurricanes Katrina and Sandy have proven to the nation why a disaster relief agency is such a vital “money sink.” In my opinion, the government should continue to fund the FEMA program to ensure the safety of its people in times of trouble.

No other agency has the organizational and financial capacity to respond as efficiently and effectively to an emergency as FEMA can. Whether described as a budget quicksand or not, FEMA’s role in our nation is undeniably essential to disaster relief and should not be discounted by the government. Despite the budget cuts, this is a program that cannot be disbanded.

Herd of drunken elephants ransack Indian village in search of fermented fruit. Perhaps the elephants are trying to forget.

Elliott Berger

could have responded as seamlessly as FEMA has proven they are capable of doing in such states of emergency.

North Dakota bans smoking in public places and bars. Meanwhile, in Washington ...

Competition for ADRA in donations, and it’s true: Disasters and their victims are generally well tended to. Despite the amount of outside help that presents itself, there is still a huge role that needs to be played by the government to repair what is broken.

Collegian Wisdom

Now that the grind of presidential politics is behind us and we’ve ensured that the democratic system is still a well-oiled machine (granted, we all have our opinions about the electoral system), I would like to take a frightening moment to discuss the effectiveness of one particular federal program: FEMA. A week and a half ago, Hurricane Sandy left a wake of devastation, particularly along the coastlines of New Jersey and New York. For a couple of days, our thoughts and minds were on the superstorm’s victims, but it wasn’t long before we once again focused in on the national campaigns and seemed to forget the needs of the citizens in the hurricaneravaged coastal towns. Many have been

quick to praise the federal government’s “swift” response, yet many Northeastern citizens are still without power, food, and fuel.

PERSPECTIVE

OPINION

23rd Bond film set for release. Women and men alike swoon.

Obams wins 2nd term. A nation votes; Ohio decides.

Facebook after Elections. Amend the Second Amendment.

Oregon votes no for marijuana. Why be taxed for something you already have?

SNAPSHOTS

OPS Weekend

Photo by Arella Aung

Photo by Carlton Henkes

Photo by Arella Aung

SNAPSHOTS

@chels_loves_school

d Photo by Carlton Henkes

@cher_ee

Photo by Carlton Henkes

@chels_loves_school

#thecollegian Submit your pictures to us via Instagram by tagging #thecollegian. Photo by Arella Aung

PERSPECTIVE

Question "In Genesis 2, God says, 'It is not good for the man to be alone' before creating Eve, a woman for Adam. Yet, in 1 Corinthians, Paul seems less sure that marriage is ideal or even necessary. Did something change? How do you account for this difference?"

Response Your question points to an interesting contrast in views on marriage. Paul himself writes very affirming words about marriage. In Ephesians, Paul elevates marriage by seeing the relationship between Christ and His church through it (5:25–33). And Paul endorses marriage in 1 Corinthians as well. Against the slogan, "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman" (7:1), Paul argues that "each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband" (7:2). Paul does share his own view that it is better for "the unmarried and the widows" and the "betrothed" to remain single (7:6– 8, 25–27), but he is careful to allow that God’s plans for someone may be different (7:7, 28). His counsel is given in view of "the present distress" (7:26), and it is difficult for us to know what that is. Does Paul believe the Second Coming to be imminent? Or is this referring to some local period of persecution? While questions remain, the general — and important — lesson is clear enough: Entering into marriage is not something that should be done lightly. Such a lifetransforming decision requires a prayerful questing after God’s will. — John McVay Have a good question? Email robert.folkenberg@wallawalla.edu.

— Pastor

Troy Fitzgerald

Real Questions

RELIGION

A Paradox Worth Pursuing Rob Folkenberg Religion Co-Editor

The church is stuck in a paradox. It’s a good problem, though, and I think that within this great Christian paradox lies the formula for an effective church. Here’s the situation: George Knight puts it this way: “The Christian church and Christian believers have the unique role of being in the world, without being of the world (John 17:14–18). How to relate to this seemingly contradictory position has remained a challenge to the church since the time of Christ.”1 Knight uses the terms “conservative” and “revolutionary” to describe the somewhat paradoxical instructions for Christianity. First, Christianity is conservative. We’re not talking about the “liberal” versus “conservative” spectrum here. Christianity is conservative because it conserves truth that God has given it. It stands for something. Next, Christianity is revolutionary — it’s a movement of big change. Throughout history, the church has understood and played out its calling in these areas in various ways. At the beginning, the church was revolutionary in nature. Just look at how it changed the world. Within just a few centuries, Christianity had spread from a handful of disciples in a volatile corner of the Roman empire to a worldwide religion. Christianity changed things. The New Testament contains many records of changes to policy and understanding of spiritual matters, especially in the area of Jewish law. Christians spread. Gatherings of Christians began weekly in major cities throughout the Mediterranean region. Anyone who doubts the revolutionary nature of the early church is not looking at the plain facts of history. Later, as the church became the establishment, as a movement became a status quo, the church of the Middle Ages

became more interested in conservation than revolution. The leaders zealously defended their creed against those they considered heretics. Church life became less evangelistic and more internally oriented. The rise of monastic communities is an example of this orientation. Even the Crusades, appearing revolutionary, were based on the desire to conserve Christianity and its holy sites and to protect them from the threat of Islam. According to Jonathan Phillips, professor of crusading history at Royal Holloway, University of London, the 1095 A.D. call for crusaders from Pope Urban II was a call “to journey to the Holy Land and liberate the city of Jerusalem and the Christians of the east from Muslim power. In return they would be granted an unprecedented spiritual reward.”2 Sure, this was revolutionary, but the motivation for the Crusades was more based on safeguarding Christianity.

“I believe both conservation and revolution are needed in the church.” Since the Reformation, we’ve seen a change. The revolutionary nature of Christianity has been somewhat recaptured. Today, we see the church reaching out. Dozens of humanitarian organizations, educational institutions, and evangelistic missions try to change the world they are in. In Adventism, organizations like Adventist Development and Relief Agency and Adventist Frontier Missions have championed revolutionary Christianity, changing things as they go and focusing on transforming. I believe both conservation and revolution are needed in the church. To clarify, I’m not talking about crusades here. We need to conserve our foundational philosophies. We can’t neglect the Bible.

We must conserve religious liberties. Liberty Magazine is a publication of the Adventist church focused on conserving. It’s important stuff. Christianity must never forget its revolutionary message, either. Knight points out Jesus’ focus: “The life of Jesus can best be seen from the perspective of change rather than conservation. He was the Reformer of reformers ...”3 Along with the conservative message, we must espouse our beliefs, for we must stay true to truth from Heaven. Christianity is above all to be a great movement of change in a world that needs so much of it. Ellen G. White envisioned what a revolutionary church would look like. She wrote, “In visions of the night representations passed before me of a great reformatory movement among God’s people. Many were praising God. The sick were healed, and other miracles were wrought. ... Hundreds and thousands were seen visiting families, and opening before them the word of God. Hearts were convicted by the power of the Holy Spirit, and a spirit of genuine conversion was manifest. On every side, doors were thrown open to the proclamation of the truth. The world seemed to be lightened with the heavenly influence. Great blessings were received by the true and humble people of God.”4 Conservative and revolutionary: Both should be blended together, woven into the fibers of our faith. Champion these things, this paradox, and we’ll be on our way to fulfilling a calling and doing a great thing for God and for our world. 1. George Knight, “Philosophy and Education: An Introduction in Christian Perspective,” 254–255. 2. Jonathan Phillips (2009), “The Call of the Crusades,” History Today 59, 11:10–17. 3. George Knight, “Philosophy and Education: An Introduction in Christian Perspective,” 256. 4. Testimonies for the Church Vol. 9, 126.

COLUMN & CREATIVE WRITING

The Trouble With Martha Rebecca Brothers Columnist Let’s begin with a few housekeeping items. First, I was delighted to see two different Grus with Minions at the Barn Party. I won’t pretend that I’m responsible for this, but Minions do a heart good, and I was glad to see them spreading the joy. Second, the election. Are we all still friends? Were all Tuesdaynight fisticuffs saved for off campus? And the polarized political posts can stop showing up on Facebook now, right? Third, November projects. It’s not too late to commit to one small way to change your life this month. I’ve heard from a few of you, and I’m cheering you on. Eat those vegetables! Write that book! Pass that class! You’ve totally got this.

less ironed it?” she asked. She had a point. The collegiate lifestyle is much better suited to 9 p.m. suppers eaten from Styrofoam boxes while running to meetings, rather than six-course dinners in a Tuscan-style dining room. And no matter how helpful and secure in her knowledge Martha Stewart is about the pros and cons of the six basic types of sofas (Chesterfield, Tuxedo, Sectional, Chippendale, Bridgewater, and Lawson), the fact remains that most of the college students I know have only two criteria for sofas: 1) Does it cost more than a week’s worth of food? and 2) Will it fit in my guyfriend’s truck?

“Someone’s got to tell us that making pie crust and replacing bathtub grout are within our abilities.”

Next, a more literal housekeeping item. While working at the library this summer, I was delighted to find a copy of Martha Stewart’s Homekeeping Handbook, which contains everything you want to know (and quite a bit you don’t) about stain removal and flatware classification. I will admit that I scoffed when Martha mentioned consulting with professional closet organizers, but the feeling quickly faded, and by the time she got to linen storage, I was hooked. It took my more grounded coworkers to point out that most of Martha’s recommendations should only be taken seriously if you have the time and resources for platinum-level entertaining. “Ooh, look, you can store tablecloths and runners by rolling them around cardboard tubes, and then you don’t have to iron them,” I gushed at one point. My coworker looked at me with parental concern. “When was the last time you used a tablecloth, much

Generally, my rule for role models excludes those who have spent time in prison, but I’ve been convinced to make an exception for Martha for three reasons. First, someone’s got to tell us that making pie crust and replacing bathtub grout are within our abilities. Second, you’ve got to admire someone who can go through a potentially career-ending scandal and come out stronger than ever. Finally, she babysat Mickey Mantle and Yogi Berra, dated Sir Anthony Hopkins, and earned the prison nickname “M. Diddy.” If she can’t make housekeeping cool, I don’t know who can. One of these days, I’ll stop moving every 10 months and be able to consider installing any kind of window treatment, much less seasonal ones. In the meantime, I’ll content myself with shaking my head at the breadth of Martha’s knowledge, trying out the least exotic of her recipes, and wondering which would be more intimidating: being her mother-in-law, daughter-in-law, or nextdoor neighbor.

PERSPECTIVE 11

Act 1 Joshua Haddock Contributing Writer

I like the sound of breathing in a dark theatre. I always have. Back before I’d been to one, I’d try to create what I thought it might be like. I pushed our twin bunk beds in a circle. I would take my empty laundry basket and, using gold rope from our costume box, hang it upside down from the ceiling as the chandelier and cover it with silver sequins that moonlighted as chainmail for a Halloween costume. I grabbed our stuffed bears and dressed them up in suits I’d worn when I was six and in white, button-down shirts I’d inherited from older brothers who’d obviously eaten ketchup. Then, I picked one lucky model to hang and tested the chandelier to make sure it would fall on cue, which would be crucial at the end of Act I. I’d hoist the other models up by the waist and tie them to the posts of each bunk so that they stood in place, oddly posed and drooping, the way my brother had when we’d pulled him out of the pool the summer before. My brothers never wanted any part of it, but I would cry and mom would tell them they would have to help. For weeks I’d try and plan each show, taking notes in my Lion King notebook, making sketches, and writing stage directions. The aunts and uncles would graciously attend, never laughing too much at my attempts. I’d make sure they were all seated in the chairs I’d wrestled from our dining room and then flip the light switch off. In the pitch black, I’d make my way behind the beds. From back there I’d plug in the orange extension cord and light up the stage with desk lamps hunted down from every corner of the house. Then the show would begin. My favorite part, though, was the quiet. The tiny second as I walked towards the bed, when all I could hear was the sound of breathing.

LIFE

DIVERSIONS

Eric Weber

Diversions Editor

That's Not Cute ...

There is a horrible epidemic in this nation, and it’s not mom jeans. It’s your profile picture. Lately, I have seen so many of my friends with horrible profile pictures that I can no longer judge them silently. Firstly, the bathroom-mirror photo is SO Myspace. (P.S. I can see the toilet in the background, and you forgot to flush.) Additionally, the I-just-worked-out photo is a lie. No you didn’t. But you did indulge in one too many bagels, that’s for sure. And just so everyone is clear, Instragram will not make your photo look better. Adding a filter is like wearing leggings as pants: It sounded like a good idea, but the next day you end up regretting it. In closing, find one picture in which you look the least grotesque and own it. If all else fails, just use a picture of a kitten. That’s what I did, but then again, I hate myself.

wOrd find

Girlfriends, boyfriends, “platonic” friends, do you need advice? Home decorating, fashion, cooking, whatever you need, send me an email and we can anonymously work this out together.

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FOODIE

LIFE

Broccoli-Parmesan Fritters Amy Alderman Food Editor

Am I the only person who was unaware that a fritter could be something other than an apple fritter? (What can I say? I like doughnuts!) The Smitten Kitchen blog has introduced me to some delicious vegetable fritters, including

zucchini fritters, Indian-spiced vegetable fritters, and broccoli-Parmesan fritters. And let me tell you — they are quite delicious. You can top the broccoli-Parmesan fritters

with the garlic-lemon yogurt recipe below. Or, if that doesn’t sound appealing to you, replace it with a dollop of sour cream, a sprinkling of feta cheese, or by placing the fritter on top of a fried egg.

Broccoli-Parmesan Fritters Yields: Approx. 9 2–2½ inch fritters

What you’ll need: skillet, medium bowl, masher, spoon Fritters: 1 small clove garlic, minced 3 cups chopped fresh broccoli ½ tsp salt, pls more to taste 1 large egg A pinch of red pepper flakes OR ½ cup all-purpose flour several grinds of black pepper ⅓ cup finely grated parmesan cheese Olive or vegetable oil for frying Garlic-Lemon Yogurt (Optional):

1 cup plain yogurt 2 Tbsp lemon juice

Photos by Amy Alderman

Looking for Inspiration?

1 clove garlic, minced

To prepare broccoli, separate the florets from the biggest stems. Cut the florets into one-inch chunks, then slice them into ½-inch lengths. You should have about three cups of chopped broccoli. Steam your broccoli until tender but not mushy. Drain the broccoli. Set it aside to cool slightly. In the bottom of a large bowl, lightly beat the egg. Add the flour, cheese, garlic, salt, and pepper. Add the somewhat-cooled broccoli and, using a potato masher, mash the broccoli slightly. You’re looking to keep the bits recognizable, but small enough (¼–½-inch chunks) that you can press a mound of the batter into a fritter in the pan. Stir or fold the ingredients together the rest of the way with a spoon. Adjust seasonings to your preference. Heat a large, heavy skillet over moderate heat. Once hot, add two to three tablespoons oil. Once the oil is hot, scoop a two-tablespoon-sized mound of the batter, drop it into the pan, and flatten it slightly with your spoon or spatula. Repeat with additional batter, leaving a couple inches between each fritter. Once browned (about two to three minutes), flip each fritter and cook on the other side until equally golden. Transfer briefly to paper towels to drain oil, then to a serving plate. Repeat with remaining batter, adding more oil to pan as needed. Serve with garlic-lemon yogurt or topping of your choosing.

When I'm looking for a new yummy recipe to try, one of my first stops is foodgawker.com. The website pulls content from many of the top food blogs on the web, providing a delightful visual display of the recipes. You can easily search by category, view popular recipes, or browse through bloggers' most recent creations.

LIFE

CULTURE

007 Gadgets Everyone Should (Never) Have Grant Perdew Culture Editor

The man, the legend ... the theme music, please. Yes, James Bond is back in Skyfall, the 23rd chapter in the 59-year-old saga of everyone’s favorite action hero. New director Sam Mendes brings Bond surging back with this intelligent, sexy, captivating action thriller that qualifies as one of the best 007 films to date. And to celebrate the newest Bond addition, let’s take a look back at more than 50 years of classic spy-dom. One of the best parts of this universe are the gadgets. James Bond’s signature style is having assorted instruments and snazzy apparatuses for doing various jobs. In Skyfall, Bond has all the modern tools we use these days, like a smartphone, a sophisticated Swiss watch, and fancy cars. But over the years, there have been some gadgets that, if everyone used them today, the world would be thrown into utter chaos. Thank you, technology, for not letting the world’s supervillains take control of you. Sort of. 1. Ski Pole Gun — The Spy Who Loved Me — 1977. In the world of the double-oh, every

ordinary object may be capable of killing you, but this one stood out as something that would turn the ski slopes into utter disarray. 2. Rocket Jet Pack — Thunderball — 1965. If these were accessible to the average person, not only would Boba Fett lose his cool, but a lot of birds would die. 3. Rolex Watch (with saw) — Live and Let Die — 1973. There have been many different watches in the Bond universe, with additions like Geiger counters and laser cutters. This one could be a lumberjack’s friend, but it would take forever to get through that massive oak. 4.Cigarette Darts — You Only Live Twice — 1967. Smoking kills. Enough said. 5. Mobile Phone — Tomorrow Never Dies — 1997. Wait, these exist today, right? Only if your iPhone has a 20,000-volt stun gun, lock opener, antennae lock pick, and BMW remote control. 6. Dagger Shoe — From Russia With Love — 1963. Sure, you say they’re fashionable now. But as soon as you get kicked in the shin on the subway and the poison is coursing through your body, let me know what you think.

7. Dentonite Toothpaste — License to Kill — 1989. This toothpaste causes cavities ... in walls, floors, supervillains ... It could be useful when you need to make a dentist-office getaway. 8. X-Ray Glasses — The World Is Not Enough — 1999. If everyone had a pair of these, well ... this is pretty self-explanatory. It’s just a really bad idea. 9. Car Magnet — You Only Live Twice — 1967. Imagine yourself flying a helicopter with an electromagnet that could pick up cars and drop them wherever. Sounds fun ... until it happens to you. 10. The Lotus Esprit — The Spy Who Loved Me — 1977. The classic sports car that can go underwater and shoot down aircraft and buildings and Furbies is just asking for the destruction of the entire planet.

Skyfall dramatically conveys the melancholy of loss and mortality, while simultaneously bringing incredibly savvy action to the board. In theaters this Friday, Skyfall is an adventure that not only emphasizes the human factor, but still satisfies the action junkie.

WEEK SEVEN SERENADES

The seventh week is already upon us! Here are four tunes to push you through the odd week before break.

Hollow Wood “Letters To Home” “This is music that makes you want to live in a simpler time.” That is exactly what this indie folk band, reminiscent of The Head and the Heart and Mumford and Sons, is about. The eclectic, raw, and powerful sounds of these Boise locals will bring you a warm sense of home.

The Weeknd “The Morning” Unsigned and unknown, The Weeknd promoted himself to two million views on YouTube by freely sharing his three stylish, shadowy R&B albums across the web. Listen at your own risk! His atmospheric, sonic, yet thematic pieces will have you holding hands faster than you can say “side hug.”

Barcelona “Falling Out of Trees” In their remastered album, Seattle rock band Barcelona has exercised great songwriting and energy. This stand-out song contains an engaging breakdown that might cause one to headbang the night away. Similar to Death Cab For Cutie, Barcelona is both dynamic and vibrant.

Stepdad “Jungles” Faux-fur capes, shiny silver pants, and magnetic star swagger makes the lead singer of this addictive, electropop experience a sight to behold. Incorporating a tribal beat and lyrics about various felines, this tune will lodge itself delightfully in your ears for several weeks.

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FILM REEL Lincoln

Nov. 9 No, he’s not a vampire hunter this time, but Oscar king Daniel Day-Lewis is transformed into the 16th president in Steven Spielberg’s period drama deHu picting Abe’s tumultuous final months in office. Academy Award junkies and lions the c history buffs should not miss this stirring portrait.

Flight Nov. 2 The director of Forrest Gump triumphantly returns to live action with this Denzel Washington action-packed thriller about a pilot who miraculously crash lands his plane, leading to much controversy of what actually happened. Thoughtful, provocative, and compelling.

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SCIENCE & TECH AND SPORTS

LIFE

Sometimes Medicine is Gross Spencer Cutting Science & Tech Editor

There’s a disease that can be cured with poop. It’s actually a pretty nasty disease, too (apropos of the nasty treatment). Pseudomembranous colitis is an infection of the colon by a mostly-antibiotic-resistant bacterial strain called Clostridium difficile (or C. diff for short). Normally, C. diff has a hard time invading a healthy person’s colon, as it will be outcompeted by the normal gut bacteria. After a round of antibiotics, however, your normal gut bacteria may take enough of a hit for C. diff to move in. For the up to eight percent of hospitalized patients1 who contract C. diff, trouble is on the way.

C. diff wreaks havoc on the colon. It grows large colonies, secretes toxins, and causes diarrhea that can last for months or years — and since C. diff is resistant to most antibiotics, it’s pretty hard to treat. There are a couple of antibiotics that work, but not for everyone. Some patients have to have their

colons completely removed, a trade-off still preferable to perpetual diarrhea, but by no means pleasant. What’s more, many who undergo a colectomy in this context die.1

It actually works, and very well at that. According to a review published in Clinical Infectious Diseases, fecal transplantation has a 92-percent cure rate.2

There is a treatment, though, that is as promising as it is humorous: fecal transplantation.

It gets weirder — people are curing C. diff infections at home. In one Canadian study, using only a home enema kit and a loved one’s excrement, seven people did the procedure themselves. They were all cured.3

I mentioned earlier that C. diff moves in when the normal gut bacteria are killed

“C. diff moves in when the normal gut bacteria are killed off.”

off. It follows that if the normal gut bacteria prevent infection in healthy people by outcompeting any C. diff that come along, they could drive back C. diff in someone with pseudomembranous colitis. This reasoning led to the development of fecal transplantation, a procedure in which stool from a healthy person is diluted and then introduced by enema to the sick person.

This is amazing. Fecal transplants may be kind of gross, but they work reliably, and they’re extremely cheap. When the alternative is antibiotics that might not work, having your colon cut out, or even death, a fecal transplant probably sounds pretty great. 1. Al-Abed, Y.A., Gray, E.A., Rothnie, N.D. (2012), “Outcomes of emergency colectomy for fulminant Clostridium difficile colitis,” The Surgeon 8:8, 330–333. 2. Gough, E., Shaikh, H., Manges, A.R. (2011), “Systematic Review of Intestinal Microbiota Transplantation (Fecal Bacteriotherapy) for recurrent Clostridium difficile Infection,” Clinical Infectious Diseases 53:10, 994–1002. 3. Silverman, S. M., Davis, I., Pillai, D. R. (2010), “Success of Self-Administered Home Fecal Transplantation for Chronic Clostridium difficile Infection,” The Surgeon 8:5, 471–473.