Volume 98, Issue 19

Walla Walla University

the

Collegian 10 April 2014 | Volume 98 | Issue 19

#THECOLLEGIAN

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ACA

PREPARING YOURSELF FOR THE MOST ANTICIPATED SEASON

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SNAPSHOTS

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TRAVEL

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Last week, I had the opportunity to attend the Adventist Intercollegiate Association (AIA) Conference at Andrews University in Michigan.

The AIA includes all 12 Adventist universities in the North American Division. At the leadership conference which aims to “equip Christian leaders with the ideas and tools for effective leadership while fostering unity,” student association leaders from each school meet together to learn more about leadership. I attended the conference representing The Collegian and was able to meet with other student newspaper editors from around the country. It was exciting to see lots of passionate people coming together, united by a similar cause.

Grant Perdew Editor-In-Chief

While I was there, there was lots of talk about the future. The future of our schools, our church, our next newspaper issues, etc. The future of our lives can be a frightening thing. Not knowing

8–13

3–7

Context

Perspective

_ itshissong

photo by kathrin klemm

News | Portland Update | Briefing | News Senate Update | #thecollegian | Calendar

Opinion | Religion | ACA/SM | Contributor Snapshots | Diversions

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Grant Perdew

Assistant Editor Nathan Stratte

Head Layout Editor Alix Harris

Head Copy Editor

Lauren Heathcock

Head Photo Editor

Kurtis Lamberton

News Editor

Carolyn Green

Feature Editors

Brooklynn Larson Katie Pekar Brandon Torkelsen

Opinion Editors

Carlton Henkes Rebecca Williams Andrew Woodruff

Sports Editor

Grayson Andregg

Religion Editor John Lubke

health & Outdoors Editor Justin Mock

Diversions Editor Eric Weber

Travel Editor Jon Mack

Science & Technology Editor

photo by peter flores

Layout Designers

what will happen and fear of how our lives will play out are valid concerns. We need to remember that even though life is full of the unknown, we still have numerous opportunities in life that can take us to amazing things. For me, the unknown is what makes life an exciting adventure.

In this edition of The Collegian, you will find an informative feature written by Carolyn Green about how to fill your summers and immediate future after college with productive, meaningful things. We’ve compiled the most practical information so that you can calm down and know that there are marvelous opportunities everywhere, as long as you know how to find them. You will also find several submissions and a letter to the editor in response to our Adventist Colleges Abroad issue a few weeks ago. I invite you to find ease about the future and to enjoy our wonderful Walla Walla spring!

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life

feature

photo by aswwu

Creative Writing | Summer Is Coming: Preparing Yourself for the Most Anticipated Season

photo by aswwu

Culture | Food | Outdoors | Travel Science | Sports | BackWord

Andralyn Iwasa Samantha Schnell Ian Smith Jenna Thomas

If you are interested in contributing to The Collegian, contact our page editors or the editor-in-chief at aswwu.collegian@wallawalla.edu. The Collegian is boosted by regularly incorporating a wide range of student perspectives.

Copy Editors

Cover Credit: Reddit user tricktreatr, @gregtyler10, Kathrin Klemm, Kurtis Lamberton, @swhite4366

Backword Editor Rachel Logan

Rachel Blake Jassica Choi Carly Leggitt

Creative Writing Editor

Staff Writers

Lester Biggs Savannah Kisling Lauren Lewis

The Collegian is the official publication of ASWWU. Its views and opinions are not necessarily the official stance of Walla Walla University or its administration, faculty, staff, or students. Questions, letters, and comments can be sent to aswwu.collegian@ wallawalla.edu or grant.perdew@wallawalla.edu. This issue was completed at 12:15 a.m. on 10 April 2014.

Distribution Manager

For information about advertising, please contact aswwu.ads@wallawalla.edu.

Office Manager

The Collegian | Volume 98, Issue 19 | 204 S. College Avenue College Place, WA 99324 | collegian.wallawalla.edu

Joe Hughes

Food EDitor

Andrea Johnson

Culture Editor

Timothy Barbosa

Rachel Blake

Columnists

Madeleine Boyson Micah Hall

Mark Roesler

Jennifer Negoescu

Wa 2014 Robo in th the c differ will aged 11:30

Th focus from FIRS webs done place

CONTEXT NEWS | 3

"Nature's Fury" LEGO Tournament to Draw Teams From Northwest // Rosa jimenez

Senior Manager of University Relations Walla Walla University will host the 2014 FIRST LEGO League Regional Robotics Challenge on Sunday, April 13, in the Winter Educational Complex at the corner of 4th and Davis streets. Sixteen different schools from across the Northwest will come to compete, bringing students aged 6–14. Table competition will begin at 11:30 a.m.

This year’s theme is “Nature’s Fury,” focusing on all manner of natural disasters, from storms to quakes, waves, and more. As FIRST LEGO League states on the event website, “Teams will discover what can be done when intense natural events meet the places where people live, work, and play.”

“LEGO robotics provides a great opportunity for young students to work creatively on a technical challenge with a team,” says Doug Logan, dean of the Edward F. Cross School of Engineering, which sponsors the LEGO event each year.

“This kind of experience is an important part of the education of the people who will be running everything 25–30 years from now, in a world that will likely be even more technologically dependent than ours is.”

The activity areas will open at 9 a.m., and FIRST LEGO League teams begin table competition at 11:30 a.m.

For those who like hands-on exploration, interactive displays will be available for both participants and spectators, including a thermal imaging camera, a table with communications equipment used by the local Amateur Radio Emergency Service

Portland Update: THE OTHER KIND OF NURSE

group, a small seismograph, and a concrete tester. In addition, there will be several bins of LEGOs for anyone and everyone to build and play.

After the competition has been completed, some of the teams will present their projects to the audience.

This event is free and open to the public.

For more information, contact the School of Engineering by phone at (509) 527-2765 by email at Steve.Davis@wallawalla.edu.

Tri-College Service Day: Giving Back to the Valley // Lester biggs Staff Writer

show who we are — Christians — when we serve. As the Bible says, ‘they will know that we are Christians by our love,’” said junior John Wilson.

Students met on Kretschmar lawn around at 9 a.m. with the groups that they

signed up for. During this time, students On April 6, 2014, Walla Walla University, received service day T-shirts, as well more along with other colleges in the area, hosted information on their service project. David the annual Tri-College Service Day. Richardson, WWU Vice President for This event allowed students from Student Life and Missions, welcomed all to Whitman College, Walla Walla Community the event and ended with a word of prayer.

College, and Walla Walla University to give Rachael Coon, assistant to the chaplain, back to their community through service. made announcements and helped oversee the These projects included housekeeping, yard students. Then, students went their separate work, street and environment clean up, and ways to begin a long morning of work. landscaping.

One of the projects was a bicycle race “Service Day is a day to serve others and at Whitman, which WWU junior Jannet let the community know that we care. I Nieves participated in by aiding cyclists. For think it is very important as Christians that this project, students were given a post from we show God's love by participating. We which they would regulate pedestrian traffic, as well as inform pedestrians about the race

that was taking place. They also had the task of radioing in for help if cyclists crashed or got injured.

“It was cool because you could just tell that the cyclists planned and trained for it because they had their warm up equipment and clothes. It was something I have never experienced before,” said Nieves.

Though the events varied and they took most of the morning, students were very eager to set aside their studies to help out in the community wherever it was needed. It was also a great communal experience for all three colleges in the area and its students to work on projects together.

Paddy McCoy described the event by saying it is, “A great opportunity to make a difference in the Walla Walla Valley. As I’m often saying, our lives begin to have a point when we are no longer the point of our lives.

Service Day helps us to change the focus from us to others.”

5:40 a.m. First day of clinicals. Four hour of sleep on board, I couldn’t remember all the drugs we had just learned, and I was terrified and excited as heck. What if I have to perform CPR? I worried. Which way do you put on the blood pressure cuff? I hate that cuff. Hm, I’ve never changed a diaper before, this’ll be fun. Not. 6:45 a.m. The clinical instructors assigned a nurse for us to follow that first day. Her name was Laura.* “Hello! I’m Rachel; I’m the student nurse following you today.” I smiled, far too enthusiastically for that godforsaken early hour. Laura nodded and kept scrolling through her phone. Basically, that was the summary of the day.

Lesson #1: From my experience, not all nurses are nice, and some of them do not care for nursing students. A different RN told me “nurses eat their young,” and some days, I felt half eaten alive. One time, my instructor kindly got a clipboard for me to write down a morning report, and the nurse I was following grabbed it out of my hands and snarled, “What am I, chopped liver?” and glared at us both.

After having a few of these encounters, I learned Lesson #2: Don’t take it personally; nurses are not always nice people. Especially in the morning.

Give them their coffee, and do your best. *names have been changed for security purposes.

—Rachel Liem

CONTEXT

BRIEFING | 4

8.2

$14,000

million

Number of people who watched the newest Game of Thrones episode, "Two Swords."

Cost to Canada of a worldwide poll on superhero powers to help its military win "hearts and minds."

It asked 150 people online whether superheroes can leap over skyscrapers, become invisible, or walk through walls.

“It’s not a myth, it’s math. . . . When women succeed, America succeeds.”

President Barack Obama, in his remarks for “Equal Pay Day,” which is the date that symbolizes how far into the new year an average American woman would have to work to earn what the average American man did in the previous year.1

“I wanted to put myself between the person who gained access to my house and Reeva.”

Oscar Pistorius, the world-famous doubleamputee sprint runner, in his latest trial regarding the shooting of his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp. He maintains the shooting was caused by his fear of an intruder, but prosecutors say he killed the model intentionally.

34

Number of days since Malaysia Flight 370 disappeared.

forty 990,000 Number of letters Aaron received in the early 1970s, many of them hateful threats because of his race.

2

Factor by which a straight Canadian male teen is more likely to attempt suicide if his school does not have a gay–straight alliance.

Number of fans who greeted Aaron at the Braves' 1974 home opener.

54,000

Number of years, as of Tuesday, since Hank Aaron set the home-run record, besting Babe Ruth's longstanding record of 714 homers.

1

69 %

The Editorial Board of The New York Times, on recent events in Crimea.

“I enjoyed drawing Ted Cruz, John Boehner, and Michele Bachmann as petulant children — and I especially wanted to draw an open-mouthed Mitch McConnell being spoon-fed his meds.”

Artist Barry Blitt, on his illustration for this week's New Yorker cover, which nods to Obamacare's recent victory of enrolling more than 7 million people in health insurance, a million more than its goal for March.

TO BUILD A HOME PROJECT

Percentage of Mississippi voters who support keeping same-sex marriage illegal.

“Mr. Putin and his Number of Mississippi jingoistic high school students supporters who took the AP in the computer science test last year.

Kremlin purport to scorn “He became the first black Western sanctions — at man for whom white fans least the little they’ve in the South cheered.” felt so far.”

Former president and Georgia governor Jimmy Carter, on Hank Aaron's role in advancing the civil rights movement.

$100 000

$16,000

1. From Pew Research Center.

According to the White House, women earn 77% of what their male counterparts earn. Other sources are NYTimes, Huffington Post, CNN, and Harper's.

LEARN MORE & DONATE AT TINYURL.COM/ PP6T3E

pho

CONTEXT NEWS | 5

Exploring the Mystery of More: Weekend of Worship Savannah Kisling

Staff Writer An

English

and

communications

professor from Union College is to lead out the Weekend of Worship coming up April 11–12. Chris Blake, an associate professor

on Friday, first and second services Saturday morning, and at a forum Saturday afternoon.

Blake has written several books on religious topics and edited Insight Magazine for eight years. He is mainly interested in creative writing and has received awards for both his writing and editing. One award of note is the Associated Church Press national award for humor.

and self-titled communication caretaker,

This upcoming weekend is focusing on

will be speaking at CommUnity and vespers

“Exploring the Mystery of More.” There are

New Sensation at Roger’s Bakery! //

many opportunities to explore what “more” is, including a Downtown Outreach with Campus Ministries at 3 p.m. on Saturday.

“There are many opportunities to explore what more is.”

SENATE UPDATE New Business G.L. 18 — Senate Procedural Accountability Revision

Old Business G.L. 17 — Creation of Sustainability Comittee

Here's what you need to know: News

WHAT:

The "MacPhee" (Named for Tyler MacPhee, for his good taste in pastries): Raspberry-filled Maple Bars

WHERE: Roger's Bakery

WHEN: The month of April

WHY: Raspberry-filled maple bars aren't enough of a reason already?

Samuel Brown has filed to fill the vacancy in District 1.

Senate is continually seeking ways to improve student life.

We encourage you to talk to your senators about any suggestions, comments, or ideas.

Join us at 9 p.m. on Thursdays in WEC 217

photo by grant perdew

CONTEXT 6

#thecollegian

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expires 4/30/2014 expires 4/30/2014

All-You-Can-Eat Buffet $7.99

TUESDAY

Phad Thai or Thai Noodle Soup $7.00

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choice of wonton pot sticker spring rolls

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CONTEXT 7

week in forecast 10 apr Thursday 46° 39°

12 APR Saturday

11 APR Friday 41° 34°

photo bywww . greenbrokelivinginkits . blogspot . com

National Siblings Day

46° 30°

45° 34°

photo by janelle aguilera

13 apr sunday photo by www . urbanchristiannews . com

photo by carlton henkes

CommUnity: The Weekend: Chris Blake 11 a.m.

University Church

"The Gospel of More"

By Chris Blake 9:30 & 11:45 a.m.

University Church

LEGO Robotics Challenge 8 a.m.

WEC Gym

Engaged Couples Seminar 5 p.m.

FAC Choir Room

Berean Fellowship 10:30 a.m.

FAC

“A Night of Dreams Come True”

Adventist Forum with Chris Blake 4 p.m.

CSP 154

7:30 p.m.

FAC

Palm Sunday Disney songs in concert presented

by WWU voice students

Midnight Mayhem 8:30 p.m.

Library

14 apr monday

15 apr tuesday

photo by flickr user jeffreyturner

photo by arella aung

photo by ivan cruz

photo by thewoodschurch . org

36° 27°

International Moment of Laughter Day

37° 39°

16 apr wednesday

photo by ivan cruz

43° 34°

photo by flickr user leo reynolds

Passover CommUnity: Quiet Hour Ministries 11 a.m.

University Church Tax Day

photo by fanpop . com

National Stress Awareness Day

PERSPECTIVE OPINION | 8

The Ghost of Academia Future //

collegian

WISDOM

Carlton Henkes

Opinion Editor

100-year-old message in a bottle found in Baltic sea.

Queen Elizabeth meets Pope Francis.

They discuss proper public hand-waving and babykissing techniques.

79-year-old teacher fired for not unfriending students on Facebook.

C C C

Don’t send help. Enjoying private island.

Friend to students. Stranger to retirement.

HBO crashes under the weight of three dragons.

=

Tennesseans can now carry guns openly without permits.

=

Game of Thrones season 4 premiere shuts down HBO GO.

Kevlar vests the newest Tennessee fashion.

Awww how cute . . . wait, what?!

C

Iraq set to legalize marriage before the age of nine.

In the closing moments of my final year, I feel the presence of tangible dread looming over me, not unlike Dickens’ Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. Ever since I was a child, I have had my future laid out before me, preparing me for each following year.

After kindergarten: first grade. After twelfth grade: college. After college: work. However, for some reason I was under the impression that the last step would be as solid as every other. Instead of a step, it seems more like a leap of blind faith.

Had I known this five years ago, I might have begun preparation for the professional world during the summer after high school graduation. In fact, summer is really the only time suited for such activities. If I’ve learned anything in college, it’s that the school year is for working six days a week, and that weekends and

breaks are for being entirely too exhausted to do anything other than impersonating a vegetable.

So here I assume the role of that bleak specter, warning all who would listen of a future that could be improved by making the right choices. Firstly, summers are for career planning. If you have a summer job, make sure it’s not so demanding that you are incapacitated for the rest of the day. You will need this time. Use it to get in touch with potential employers and internships.

Ask about what qualities they seek in future employees (skills, prior experience, schooling, etc.).

“Take each day as it comes and don’t stress about that menacing apparition of the future.”

Next, take this time to reevaluate your academic path. How are your major and minor working for you? Are the departments’ faculty helpful in meeting your career needs? Are classes in another major a better fit? Is your current major using and expanding your skills? Look ahead at the classes offered and plan accordingly.

Of course, I can’t imagine a freshman me heeding this advice even when gifted with such knowledge. For those who are like myself, take each day as it comes and don’t stress about that menacing apparition of the future. Your keys will be thus: 1. Practice your skills. 2. Show them off. 3. Have a firm handshake and a convincing smile. Then, when it comes to the leap of faith, pray, close your eyes, and jump!

It’s My Party I can Vote if I want to // Andrew Woodruff

Opinion Editor After a big election it’s common to hear disgruntled voters say that they only mildly liked the candidate they voted for, and that they did really like another candidate, but did not vote for him. All this is done in the name of not “throwing away the vote.” People tend to vote for big parties and not to vote for small parties like the Green party or the Pirate party. Many fear the numbers game.

Voting for the small party makes your vote have no influence in choosing between the big two Republican and Democratic names in the race. Although small-party candidates are getting fundraisers and support, a section of their expected voters are not actually voting for them.

There is a system called “alternative voting” that would effectively eliminate this hiccup in the American vote. Alternative, or instant-runoff voting, suggests that voting ballots should include a ranked choice system that allows the voter to rank their candidates in order of preference. For example, a voter looks at a ballot and sees his favorite Pirate party candidate, Brunner, and so places a “1” next to her name. The voter then proceeds to mark his or her second preference, such as O’Hara from the Modern Whig party. They continue on for as long as they like; they can rank anywhere from one candidate to the whole ballot. When all the ballots get in with all the numbers, they are only run for the first rank. The computer then looks at the numbers and eliminates the least preferred candidate from the rankings (let’s say this was Brunner and the Pirate party). Now, all the computer looks at the ballots listing Brunner as #1 and moves down to the second ranking for those ballots. Now our example voter’s

ballot is a vote for O’Hara instead. Then the computer again eliminates the weakest candidate and redistributes the votes. This continues until only two candidates are left and the numbers are tallied again to decide who is the winner of the election.

Boiled down to the basics, alternative voting is simple and effective. It’s not an uncommon voting style internationally, although in the U.S. it is used mostly only for municipal elections. This style of voting is how both the presidents of India and of Ireland are elected. It’s also how Australia elects their House of Representatives. In the U.S., the Big Two are not likely to support this style of voting, since it weakens their already-strong political holdings. Yet it can be built from the ground up, starting with municipal elections and continuing from there. At the very least, it is a system which could help rebalance the political scales that are so often tipped by money.

PERSPECTIVE RELIGION | 9

is there church-life after grad? // John Lubke

Religion Editor The post-collegiate world is an intimidating space. We’re all well-aware of how poor the job market is, and our parents are too — since they totally had great plans for your old bedroom you’ll now be moving back into. For theology majors and those pursuing ministerial work in the church however, there are added layers of complexity that go beyond a simple downturn in the economy. The Seventhday Adventist system is suffering, and has become unwelcoming to many young people; and inhospitable to fresh graduates looking for work in the SDA community.

I graduated from WWU in 2011, and was fortunate enough to find a job.

However, a year later I handed in my resignation in the interest of preserving my spiritual and emotional stability. While there were additional circumstances at play, I sensed that staying in ministry was going to be unsustainable. I spent the next year recuperating, and decided to give ministry another shot. I took up my acceptance to the Masters of Divinity program at Fuller Theological Seminary, and began the

summer program. But something had changed.

I felt as though I was going in completely the wrong direction. I prayed for weeks, and finally withdrew.

I realized that my completion of a Masters Degree wasn’t going to affect the number of jobs available. Additionally, I realized that the margin of salary increase for those who get their Masters Degree is disproportionately small compared to the amount of money it takes to pay for it. Most crucially, I realized that my admitted, somewhat ‘liberal’ stance on a handful of current issues would dramatically decrease the number of jobs that would be even accept my résumé.

I am committed to God, and to Jesus and His work. I want to see the church thrive as a movement, proclaiming Jesus. I want to be a part of that movement; I want to dedicate my life to it help bring positive change. But to seek a paycheck to work toward that change, from the organization that doesn’t want you to change it — well . . . let’s just say no one is knocking down my door.

So it’s no mystery why I’m back in school pursuing a different way to serve.1 Nonetheless, I want the church to survive.

It needs to harness the next generation, and in order for that to happen, there needs to be a place for us within it. We can help you help us fit in.

Campus Ministries Welcome back, Walla Walla, to a quarter of sunshine, excessive Blue Palm, not enough bike rides, and, of course, new things from the Chaplain’s office. An upcoming event to look forward to is the Weekend

Before anything else, to make good changes we must be open to change. I’m not sure whether the church is ready — but for when they’re ready, I’ve got a few suggestions: 1. If you have strong leaders, don’t lean on them; support them.

Much too often, extraordinary leaders are required to bear too many burdens. Strong leaders will always do strong work — but asking leaders to do more, with less resources is like trying to build a second house with materials from the foundation of the first.

Eventually everything collapses. We have much more to gain when we take a few steps back and work with what we have already, rather than pushing forward unsustainably.

(Nobody envies the guy with the job that’s killing him.)

2. We need permission to engage in the practice of present truth.

Our world is constantly developing and progressing. Our knowledge of history, science, culture, and the Bible are always growing. Asking new questions, studying new (and old) material, revising, and reinterpreting are all crucial to the vitality of the SDA movement. Jesus — and the Truth he brings — is not static. It’s crucial to remember that a change in belief as a result of new studies would only reflect that we’re closer to truth today than we were yesterday.

3. Creedal conformity is dangerous.

While it is important for a movement to have a clear purpose and direction, disallowing variety in the pursuit of conformity would tear the church apart. Theology, origins, truth, and the human experience are full of mystery and unknowns. Acknowledging mystery makes it easier to be wrong — and we’ve gotten a few things wrong. A bigger picture of truth to be discovered makes Jesus all the more compelling to pursue.

Differences in our beliefs and theories are healthy.

It may be tough to swallow, but in many ways the church is a sick child refusing to take medicine. Graduates are going out into adult life and are struggling to find a place in the church, whether as an employee, or simply as an active member. New alumni don’t want to conform to the suffering model they find beyond this campus.

I look around our campus and I see it full of passionate people, already participating in making the world around them a better place. They’re bright, trained, resourceful, and immensely hard-working. A lot of them are still optimists.

My diagnosis is simple. Even the best medicine won’t work if it’s never taken.

1. paraphrased from A.T. Jones

SWITCHFOOT is coming to WWU on April 21 The show starts at 7 p.m. Doors open one hour before.

Tickets can be purchased at the bookstore or Student Activities office.

of Worship this weekend. Author and Professor Chris Blake from Union College will be here sharing with us “The Gospel of More” on Friday afternoon for CommUnity, vespers, First Serve, and second service. Come and be blessed by Mr. Blake.

1 Corinthians 9:23 says, “I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.” The gospel of Jesus brings a richness to the life that succeeds all other sources.

So, I hope your last quarter this year at Walla Walla University is filled with many opportunities to be blessed and also to be a blessing.

— Rachael Coon

http :// anchorshoppresents . com /

PERSPECTIVE ACA/SM |10

LETTER TO THE

EDITOR

Don’t forget us! //

KATHRIN KLEMM

Dear Collegian Editor,

We’d like to bring to light an important oversight in the Feb. 27, 2014, edition of The Collegian. While the title states, “Exploring New Horizons: Perspectives From Abroad,” we found the “abroadness” of the study programs to be grossly misrepresented.

While there are many more ACA students slaving away at the language in, say, France or studying [read: reveling] on the coast of Spain, five courageous students in Germany and Austria are overcoming the hardship that is German grammar. Let us give you a taste.

When referring to a girl using a pronoun, you call her “it;” when you refer to a door using a pronoun, you call it “her,” like so: German One: “Where is that stunningly sumptuous girl?”

German Two: “It has gone to the cafeteria.”

German One: “Why is the door open?”

German Two: “Because I opened her.”

While we know we are exactly 0.0026% of the entire student body at WWU, we were, however, 13.8% of the total ACA students as of Winter Quarter, when the issue was published. We admit there was an adorable Mischung (mixture) of seven ACA contributors, but we’d like to point out that they all come from: Italy, Argentina, Spain, Spain, and England, France, and Italy.

Makes a lovely haiku, don’t you think?

Since you are obviously unaware of our whereabouts, or even our existence, we’ll spell it out for you. Our schools are situated in delightful corners of Germany, where we stave off wild boars in the woods by night and voluminous amounts of bread by day,

and Austria, where the students count how many ways potatoes can be served in one meal and ponder what it would look like if all the fish in the pond jumped at once.

In closing, we would just like to know that our existence is represented to our fellow students. Now, it’s time to get back to practicing our glottal stops.

Sincerely, The Underappreciated yet Forgiving (if you publish this) Students of the German Language

Mach’s gut!

P.S. Other than that, your newspaper’s swell.

PHOTOS BY KATHRIN KLEMM

PERSPECTIVE

A Story of Truth Micah Hall

Columnist

After a hectic first week, I thought I would tell all of you, my loyal readers, a story. This story is very, very true and happened to me my junior year of high school. Just as background information, I would like you to know that I was considered a bit of a stud in high school. Now, this doesn’t mean I played sports or did things that most studs are expected to do. I was more of a suave stud. I was like James Bond, only I didn’t sleep around or kill people or have a car. I wooed the ladies simply by speaking a few words and flexing a few of my mental (and physical) muscles. This isn’t to say I am not a sensitive person. I happened to almost cry while watching 50/50, I really like Nutella, and I have a playlist with only one song, “Catch Me” by Demi Lovato, that I play at least once per day. It is probably also important to note that, just as I was single during this story, I am also single now.

This story begins during drama class after school at Portland Adventist Academy. I was one of the oldest members of the drama class and had many more life experience than the rest of the pupils. This was most obvious with a girl called Maresa. That isn’t to say she wasn’t smart or kind; she was a wonderful person, just very gullible. For whatever reason, there was a fake, foam crab that had been floating around the drama classroom for about a week before this story occurred. It was the type that could be put in water to make it expand.

On this day, Maresa found this crab but did not have enough life experience to fully comprehend what it was. As she stood there, fondling this fake crab, I called out to her,

“Stop!”

She froze, crab still in hand, and asked, “What’s wrong?”

Looking disgusted I shot back, “Maresa, gross! Someone has to eat that.”

This is where she became confused, but before she could ask me what I meant, I said, “Maresa, that’s a gummy crab.” I paused, while she became ever more curious, and then said, “It’s alright; you can have a bite.”

She stood, looking longingly at the crab before cautiously bringing it to her mouth and biting down. She immediately realized her mistake. She jerked the crab out of her mouth, then started to yell something to me before remembering our teacher was still in the room. This next part seems like it would be out of a movie but I assure you, it is all true. The entire class fell silent.

Everyone knew what had happened. Then, someone started laughing. Everyone in the class was laughing, praising my genius. As the laughter died down, a slow clap began, growing louder and louder. People started rushing from other classrooms to see what was going on and, as the room filled with people, they began to lift me into the air, chanting my name as we strode through the halls of Portland Adventist Academy. From that day forth, I was no longer known as Micah Hall, but as Reverend Micah Hall.

This is because later that day I legally became a pastor. If you are in need of my services, I will legitimately marry you for only $45.1 That is only one true story from my high school experience. If you would like to hear more, follow me on Twitter or talk to me in person. I am single.

1. This offer is real.

COLUMN | 11

liberalism and the TAYLOR KELLN denial of evil

CONTRIBUTING WRITER

The other day I was listening to Dennis Prager, conservative talk radio host. He was interviewing a Cuban-American immigrant and Republican National Committee organizer. During the course of their interview, Prager got around to asking the man why so many Cuban immigrants choose to align themselves with Conservatism rather than Liberalism after they immigrate to America, as opposed to their Central and South American counterparts who often choose the Democratic Party. The man responded by saying the reason he believes most Cuban immigrants end up choosing Conservatism is because they’ve experienced life under a totalitarian dictatorship, such as the one seen in Cuba. After a lengthy discussion, this original idea prompted Prager to go on to reiterate a point he’s pioneered through his decades-long radio career: Liberalism at its core denies the institution of evil.

I find the notion that Liberalism denies evil quite attractive because it explains much of what I’ve witnessed in the American Left. At a fundamental level, Liberals typically favor subjectivism concerning good and evil, whereas a Conservative would be prone to belief in universal ethics and morality. In other words, Liberals hold subjective individual experiences within classes, ethnicities, and genders as their moral compass, rather than believing in universal standards. An example of this would be the Liberal’s view of crime. In his/her vision, a thief isn’t a thief because of his choice to steal; he is thief because of classist oppression and is therefore vindicated on the basis of his own standards (poverty, low income, etc.). That is why Liberal policy tends to be lax on crime. They don’t see individuals as products of choice — they see individuals as products of their environments. To them, ethics are subjective to each individual. It is a “feel good” philosophy, able to justify nearly any action whether negative or positive.

As Prager’s conversation with his CubanAmerican guest continued, Prager continually emphasized his original point. After some time, Prager went on the say that the reason Liberals are the way they are usually isn’t their fault. It’s because they haven’t experienced real evil. His guest agreed on the basis of having used to live under Fidel and Raul Castro and true oppression in Cuba, which is why he speculated many Central and South American immigrants tend towards the Democratic Party; because they have never experienced such oppression at the hands of a powerful government.

My own uncle was one of those who experienced the beginning of the Castro regime.

He first witnessed the forced confiscation of private weapons, forwarded by their “president” under the notion that it was for public safety.

Then he witnessed the government takeover of formerly-privately-owned businesses — in essence, he witnessed the theft of people’s livelihoods, their properties and businesses they worked hard for. Luckily for my uncle, he got out of Cuba just before they stopped permitting people to leave.

The Left’s denial of evil stretches far further than just subjectivism. It can be seen in their attitudes towards repressed nations such as Cuba.

Liberals, such as Michael Moore, praise Cuba’s healthcare system — not because it is good or excellent, but because it offers equal opportunity.

But Cuba’s hospitals are in shambles. Patients have to bring their own bedding if they’re hospitalized, and often times those beds are in unsanitary conditions and settings. Alas, Liberals care not if the actual healthcare is subpar. So long as it is offered to everyone at equal conditions, it is seen in their eyes as acceptable.

Yet another example of Liberalism’s praise of totalitarian foreign countries can be seen in attitudes towards the USSR during the Cold War. Many on the Left claimed the United States was an equal aggressor and danger to world peace. Did the U.S., however, send millions of its political dissidents to gulags to ultimately be killed? Did the U.S. shoot millions of its own citizens on their front lawns (as happened to my ancestors) for being of a different cultural background? No, the U.S. did not. Even so, the Liberal media at NBC during the 2014 Sochi Olympics hailed the Communist Russia as “the revolution, that birth one of modern history’s pivotal experiments.” Even as we stand today with the USSR’s blood soaked legacy, Liberalism praises idealistic equality over human life.

Liberalism favors subjectivism over universal ethics, it favors good feelings over justice, and it favors equality over all else at any cost. It denies true evil so long as its progressive ends are met on the march to egalitarianism. As I alluded to prior, it is not an intentional denial of evil. The reason Liberals deny evil is simply because in America, they haven’t seen real evil yet.

SNAPSHOTS

WELCOME BACK BASH

TRI-COLLEGE 12 SERVICE DAY 12

photos by kurtis lamberton

PERSPECTIVE DIVERSIONS | 13

Eric Weber

Diversions Editor & Pontificator

College Life //

College is a very interesting place full of bright young minds and people who should have gone to trade school. We all pay ridiculous amounts of money so that overqualified people can give us bad grades and stomach ulcers. It’s a beautiful system.

We make friends, we lose friends, we get tattoos, and that’s life. But being in college can skew things. School is important, so that’s why I’m here; I’m invested in this system of higher education, and most days I think it’s been a good decision.

If it weren’t for college I would have been blissfully unaware of my lactose sensitivity, and for that I owe The Atlas my life.

Contrarily, college has also made me forget something very important. I’m 22 years old. I haven’t even lived a quarter of my life yet! It’s so easy to rush though life, only focusing on passing Organic Chemistry or finding time to get that sexy perm. We forget to stop and enjoy our youth. We need to take advantage of the time we have because before we know it were all going to be like Dr. Gottschall, reminiscing about our experiences abroad to a classroom full of self-entitled students. And frankly, I can’t wait for that time of my life.

So, here is my unrequited advice: Stop and find time to relax. Make some meaningful memories, be passionate, and love deeply.

Wow, this article turned out way better than expected — should I have been an English major? Naw, employment sounds like too much fun.

‘

‘

CREATIVE WRITING 14

What is a Jack-of-all-Trades? miles bell

“Time to go,” shouted my brother.

Liberal arts graduates are by education well-rounded renaissance men and women, which means we know a little about history, literature, theater, and “the arts” while having a cursory understanding of math (I don’t think we’re algebraically inclined. A+B does not equal AB? What the heck math?).

To be a jack-of-all-trades is to be a surface-drifter like a lily pad.

Peering into the water covered in lily pads, life snagged me.

“Mercy ME ... lily pads have roots.”

Welp, I am not swimming. I’ll make a home here. Live with the water people.

“BRO!” I shouted. “COME GET ME.” “No. We’re leaving.” He said.

What we say: “I’m a Jack-of-all-Trades.”

In my mind I aged a hundred years out there in that inlet among the lily pads.

Translation: “I dabble.”

I thought of leaving the canoe — wading through the lily pads, but then visions of green tentacles — Cthulhu’s whiskers — filled my thoughts and no . . . I would not die to lily pads.

What others hear: “I’m not particularly skilled.”

Harsh reality: “I lose interest once it gets hard.”

Let’s not lie to ourselves: No one remembers the Renaissance man just like no one will remember The Monuments Men. A jack-of-all-trades is a failure in everything, who measures his success by the trades he fails the least in. Like the writer who ends his sentences in prepositions, or the pianist who plays by ear, or the student who cheaps out on his analogies.

We’re all bad at something. Some of us just fail with reckless abandon.

At Camp MiVoden I took a canoe out to the pond just around the sand bar and drifted among the lily pads marveling at their greenness. “So green,” I thought.

“You have to let the fear go” a voice said. It was my dad. Except he didn’t say “fear,” or “let go” but “You’re holding everybody up.”

And I smiled, because dad had given me the courage to face my fears. “Someday I’ll write a book about him,” I thought.

And as all things you love, my paddle returned to me. And I departed, leaving a slim pathway through the lily pads — peacefully, gently, so as not to wake the sleeping beast from the depths.

You don’t mess with mythical water demons. Not on Sabbath. Not at family camp.

“Hey Pocahontas, you dropped your paddle.”

So I had.

I’ll just float for a while. Kids in Africa would love to have a canoe. Or lakes. Who am I kidding, I can’t generalize a continent’s youth.

CURRENTLY OPEN

ASWWU POSITIONS

2014–2015

And now I realize I am a Jack-of-all-Trades. And I do not want to dive into the depths because I can’t see down there and it’s frightening to go where it’s dark.

C o l l e g i an E dit o r - in- C hief

So cial Team

At la s Ma na g er

P r o j e ct M a n a g e r

E x ec ut iv e Sec r et a r y F undr a is ing Ma na g er P ho t o E dit o r O ut do o r s Ma na g er Hea d V ideo E dit o r T r ea d Shed Ma na g er Hea d Webma st er M o unt a i n A s h E dit o r M as k E dit o r

B i g E v e n t Co o r d i n a t o r s S m a l l E v e n t Co o r d i n a t o r s M id - S i ze E v e n t Co o r d i n a t o r V o l u n t e e r Co o r d i n a t o r L ea d e r s h i p A w a r d Co o r d i n a t o r

Interes t ed?

Fi l l o u t a n a p p lic a t io n a t a s. w a lla w a lla . ed u a n d ema il it t o a sw w u @ w a lla w a lla . ed u

FEATURE 15

carolyn Green News Editor PREPARING YOURSELF FOR THE MOST ANTICIPATED SEASON

The headlines display the issue across the country: “Class of 2013: All Dressed Up and No Place to Work”; “Recent Grads Disillusioned”; “Over Half of Recent Grads Jobless or Underemployed.”

When 54% of recent graduates are unemployed or underemployed, you may be wondering about the most beneficial use of your summer. In this issue of The Collegian, we hope that these ideas about internships and jobs can give you some ideas of fun, fulfilling ways to spend your days between Spring and Fall Quarters.

THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND 1. Polish your résumé.

2. Keep an open mind.

3. Be willing to work for very little (or no) pay.

Apply for and consider jobs that may not directly correspond with your career goals.

4. Use your connections.

Don’t be afraid to do some name-dropping to get a great job.

5. Check out these websites for leads on internships and jobs: a.) InternMatch.com b.) Internships.com c.) InternJobs.com d.) CollegeRecruiter.com e.) College.Monster.com 6. Do what makes you happy.

FEATURE 16 The Career Center on campus is a valuable resource, whether you want to spruce up your résumé, need guidance with cover letters, want to improve your interview skills, need help with an internship or job search, or all of the above. They provide a list of internships and jobs on their website.1 The office is open Monday –Thursday 9 a.m.–4 p.m. and Friday 9 a.m.–12 p.m.

David Lindstrom, Career Center director, encourages students to come into his office and get help with whatever they need regarding their future careers. “If you want to be aggressive about your career, start early with internships and do them often,” said Lindstrom.

Why an Internship?

1. You’ll Get Experience in Your Career Field: “You need experience to get a job, but you need a job to get experience.” Break the vicious cycle. You can put into practice knowledge you’ve gained in a classroom, and solidify your career choice. College credit is often available and pay may be offered, depending on the organization.

2. Employers Often Hire Their Interns for Permanent Positions: 69% of companies with 100 or more employees offered full time jobs to their interns. You can also gain valuable references for future employment.2 3. Increase Your Earning Potential: When college graduates find jobs, those who held internships received, on average, $2,240 more than non-interns for starting salaries. 3 4. Experience the Real World: Although you may have had a job during college, working in an office or the environment that fits your dream career, you’ll learn about how to interact with superiors, coworkers, and clients.

5. Set Yourself Apart: An internship can make you more hirable. According to a study done by Brigham Young University, only an average of 30% of graduating seniors have job offers before graduation, but after completing an internship, that number rises to 58%.4

And don’t forget to ask about co-op credit! The Career Center can help you fill out the necessary paperwork.

While internships and jobs centered on your career goals may be the obvious choice, these are often hard to come by. “Any job is better than no job. Work ethic is important,” said Lindstrom.

1. http://www.wallawalla.edu/resources/student-support-services/career-center/.

2. http://www.forbes.com/sites/jacquelynsmith/2012/12/06/internships-may-be-the-easiest-way-to-a-job-in-2013/.

3. https://saas.byu.edu/intern/html/Benefits2.html.

summer jobs Here are some ideas for productive ways to spend your summer if you don’t have plans yet.

Food Service: Restaurants and coffee shops are a great place for extroverts to find a summer job. Be ready to deal with low blood sugars, picky customers, and some whiny kids, but you can have a great time and make people really happy if you give prompt, friendly service.

Lifeguarding: Sun worshipers, look no further than your local pool for a summer job. Spend everyday by the pool, make money for checking out the local bathing beauties, and your parents will stop bugging you to get a job, though you’re still chilling poolside. Lifeguarding certification is easy enough to obtain, as many YMCA/YWCA and local recreation centers offer Red Cross Lifeguard certification.

Retail assistant: Extroverts can thrive at clothing stores — you’ll be folding a lot of clothes, assisting customers in locating the right sizes, and dealing with lines at the cash registers. Introverts may be happier finding work in a book or music store. Face to face interaction is still necessary, but you’re more likely to deal with customers who are a little more low-key.

Construction worker: Here’s your chance to use power tools, and potentially, heavy machinery. You’ll also build muscle! Construction workers can be paid fairly well, and you can learn valuable life skills. Look to private contractors for summer jobs.

Babysitting or Day Camps: Having a little buddy to spend the summer with can make your days even sunnier.

4. https://saas.byu.edu/intern/html/Benefits2.html.

5. http://www.globeuniversity.edu/about-us/career-services/2014-top-30-fastest-growing-jobs.

6. http://money.usnews.com/careers/best-jobs/rankings/the-100-best-jobs.

FEATURE 17

most hirable Fastest OPTIONS COLLEGE MAJORS GROWING

Other summer

1. Research: If you’re interested in graduate school for a science or medical program, research might be what you’re looking for. Summer is a great time to hone your lab skills and really focus on writing a research paper that can help you get into grad school. Check with universities for applications to research programs, and apply ASAP. Some research opportunities offer a stipend, so be sure to ask.

2. Clinical Hours: Many pre-professional programs or professional schools require students to fulfill clinical hours. Without classes to worry about, clinical hours are a great way to fill your days. You can also do some networking and gain good references for school and professional applications. Check with local clinics and hospitals.

3. Volunteer: Charities and non-profit organizations are always looking for willing volunteers.

While you won’t be earning money, volunteering for an organization you love will be very fulfilling. Check at children’s museums, libraries, retirement homes, and hospitals. And don’t forget about the networking possibilities!

1. Business Administration: Management of business operations and organization of employees and resources to achieve common goals and objectives.

2. Computer Science: Specialize in the theory of computation and design of computational systems through scientific and practical approaches to computation and its applications.

1. Software Developer 2. Computer Systems Analyst 3. Dentist 4. Nurse Practitioner 5. Pharmacist

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, these are the fastest-growing careers in the nation, projected through the year 2022.5 PROJECTED GROWTH

53.4%

3. Medical Assistant:

Perform both administrative and clinical tasks in support of the work of physicians and health professionals.

Industrial-Organizational Psychologists: Help maintain employee morale in businesses through the scientific study of human behavior in the workplace.

4. Accounting: Measure the results of an organization’s economic activity and pass on the information to management, investors, creditors, and regulators.

PROJECTED GROWTH

5. Nursing: Provide and coordinate patient care, educate patients about various health conditions, and provide care, advice, and emotional support for patients and their families.

Best Jobs for 2014 U.S. NEWS BEST JOBS for 2014 listed these as the top five jobs for 2014, based on employment opportunity, salary, manageable work/life balance, and job security.6

JOB FIELDS

Hopefully, these ideas will help with your plans for the future. Visit the Career Center for help with preparation and your search. Look for ways to gain and show off your work experience, leadership roles, and volunteer positions. And if you don’t find an option that sounds good to you, you can always spend your summer studying for the MCAT.

48.8%

Personal Care Aides: Assist people with chronic diseases, physical disabilities, and mental ailments go about their daily tasks.

PROJECTED GROWTH

48.5%

Home Health Aides: Assist people with chronic diseases, physical disabilities, and mental ailments go about their daily tasks, as well as occasionally providing nursing functions.

PROJECTED GROWTH

46.7%

Insulation Workers, Mechanical: Apply insulating materials to pipes or ductwork, or other mechanical systems in order to help control and maintain temperature.

LIFE

CULTUR E| 18 CULTURE

Culture Editor

Having spent the last few years of my life in the Walla Walla Valley, I’ve discovered a passion for driving. Every Winter I crave breaking free from friction, and every Summer my refuge is my air conditioner. Spring holds a special place among seasons for driving, though, simply because of its immense beauty. Whether you enjoy scenery, warm air alongside a cool breeze, or just kicking back and enjoying your music, drives are hard to beat in Spring.

I’d like to share some of my favorite escapes from the valley. The first, somewhat obvious way out is past Rooks park. Lots of people take their weekends of relaxation to that right turn into Rooks but don’t imagine what might be on the road ahead. Second, drive past the penitentiary.

Why would I go in the direction of serial killers in the first place? Morbid curiosity, perhaps, but more because it’s simply a nice, chill place for a drive through the countryside. Last for today, though there are many more, is Stateline Road between Washington and Oregon. Don’t know what it is? I refer you to Dr. Google.

It’s easy to think that you’re enclosed in the WWU campus with your obligations, limited means of transportation, or even social circles, but I want to encourage you to explore more. There’s beauty in the world just steps outside the paths of our normal day-to-day lives, so why are you still here?

vimeo.com/aswwu

TimOTHy barbosa

songs for kicks

aswwu video

drive time //

Jono Pratt, ASWWU president, addresses the campus on serious issues. He is making real changes to ensure that he is protected.

Thursdays at 9:37 p.m.

“Only the Young” Brandon Flowers

upcoming events The Great Kaplan Gesa Power House Theatre April 10, 4–5:30 p.m.

Student Admission — $9

Vaudeville, illusions, and comedy collide with Murphy’s Law on stage.

“Always Gold” Radical Face

Live Music Night The Olive

April 10, 6–8 p.m.

This week, The Rogue Lobsters are back on stage. Come to enjoy a laid-back atmosphere and good music.

36th Annual Valley Girls Barrel Daze Indoor Arena Walla Walla Fairgrounds April 11–13 Admission — Free

“Unison” Porter Robinson

Enjoy watching professional barrel racing. Enjoy great food, shopping, and nice people.

Walla Walla Business Summit Marcus Whitman Hotel and Conference Center April 11, 8 a.m. – 4 p.m.

Admission — $129

photos by andrea johnson photo from wikimedia commons

This annual convention is an opportunity for regional businessmen to join together for professional development and sharing innovations, trends, and connections. Come grow as a professional, learn about local business practice, and listen to some great keynote speakers.

“Just the Two of Us” Grover Washington

LIFE FOOD | 19

The Food Fiend presents

Rice and Enchiladas photos by andrea johnson

Andrea Johnson Food Editor I feel I should explain the enchilada recipe. My mom was born in Mexico and grew up making enchiladas — the real deal, with tortillas dipped in oil and rolled with cheese, meat, and mole — for her 15 siblings.

However, every recipe has the potential for delicious and legitimate improvisation. So if you’re appalled that this recipe appears to be what one might call, “Mexican lasagna,” that’s fine by me. You can call it that if you choose, but I’m still going to call it enchiladas. Good; now that we’ve worked that out, we can see past our differences and just accept these delicious foods as they are, no matter what we call them.

#WWUfood

This week’s #wwufood winner is Jassica Choi. Strawberry cheesecake? Yes, please!

Enjoy your free drink at The Atlas. To enter for next week, hashtag photos on instagram with #wwufood or email submissions to andrea.johnson@wallawalla.edu. The photo must be yours and you must have been personally involved with the creation of the food or drink.

Mexican Rice INGREDIENTS 1 cup long grain rice 1 clove garlic, minced ½ onion, chopped oil to sauté 2 cups water ½ cup tomato puree 1 tsp. salt 1 tsp. cumin

In a frying pan, heat oil over medium heat and sauté garlic and onions until tender (not too long as they will continue cooking). Add rice and mix until rice is coated; it should look glossy. Add more oil if necessary. Add water, sauce, spices, and salt. Mix all ingredients and allow to simmer over low heat until rice is tender, about 20 minutes. Do not stir the rice while it simmers! If liquid evaporates before rice is cooked, add water over the top.

Once cooked, taste for salt and spices, and adjust if necessary.

Notes and Suggestions: - I use Basmati rice. If using brown rice, cooking time will be longer and you will need more water.

- If you really enjoy tomato, consider using crushed tomato or fresh tomatoes to add some texture.

Vegetable Enchiladas INGREDIENTS 1 red pepper, chopped, seeds removed 1 medium zucchini, chopped 1 medium yellow squash, chopped 1 jalapeño, chopped, seeds removed ½ tsp. salt olive oil 1 can black beans, rinsed and drained ½ cup chopped fresh cilantro 1 20-oz. can enchilada sauce 15 corn tortillas (approx.)

2–3 cups shredded cheese Baking dish, approx. 10”x15” Preheat the oven to 400°F. Place chopped red pepper, zucchini, yellow squash, and jalapeño on a large baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil and toss until coated. Roast vegetables for 20– 30 minutes, or until tender (not mushy), stirring occasionally. Remove vegetables from oven and let cool. Reduce oven temperature to 350° F. Combine vegetables, black beans, and cilantro in a bowl. Coat the bottom of the baking pan with enchilada sauce. Add a layer of tortillas to completely cover the bottom of the pan and top with sauce, 1/2 of the vegetable/ bean mixture, and 1/3 of the cheese. Make a second layer of tortillas, sauce, vegetables/ beans, and cheese. Top with with a final layer of tortillas, sauce, and the remaining cheese.

Bake enchiladas for 40 minutes or until cheese is crispy, not burnt, and the enchiladas are bubbling. Remove enchiladas from the oven and let cool for 10 minutes. Cut into squares and serve warm.

Notes and Suggestions: - This recipe makes a lot of food! Feel free to reduce the recipe or make your own personal enchilada: On a microwaveable plate, layer ingredients in the same manner as above, but use a single tortilla instead of many. Microwave until cheese is melted.

- Vegetable ingredients are negotiable, this is just my personal blend. Make a filling you will enjoy; don’t suffer through foods that make you gag.

LIFE OUTDOORS | 20

The Water Works: Three Waterfalls within 210 Miles of Walla Walla //

Justin mock Health & Outdoors Editor

When I look at a map of the Northwest, one of the first things I notice is the amount of water. We may not have any Great Lakes, but this part of the country is home to all sorts of water. We have the Puget Sound, miles of coastline, and a plethora of rivers including the Snake, Columbia, and Deschutes. We also have many lakes, creeks, and stream — big and small. Along with all this water come plants, animals, and many beautiful hiking destinations. In this article, I share three waterfall destinations that make great locations for a day outdoors or a quick stop during the middle of a road trip.

Palouse Falls

Horsetail Falls

Multnomah Falls

Height: 180 feet

Height: 620 feet

Height: 176 feet

Distance from Walla Walla: 72 miles

Distance from Walla Walla: 210 miles

Distance from Walla Walla: 207 miles

Driving Time: 1 hour, 32 minutes

Driving Time: 3 hours, 24 minutes

Driving Time: 3 hours, 20 minutes

En Route to: Spokane

En Route to: Portland

En Route to: Portland

Hike Distance: 2.0 miles

Hike Distance: 2.6 miles

Hike Distance: 2.6 miles

Palouse Falls is a must-see for any resident of southeastern Washington. This short hike offers incredible views, open skies, warm sunshine, and an abundance of falling water.

The hike begins with a short walk to a pool at the top of the falls, then the trail winds its way down the side of the large bowl into which the falls itself plunges. Those with a fear of heights may feel nervous, but the trek down into the bowl is well worth the fright. It is from this location that hikers can experience the power of the falls by getting close enough to be engulfed in the misty spray and hear the full roar of crashing water. With all the rain and snowmelt, springtime is the perfect time of year to see the Palouse in full force. I highly recommend taking this hike before school gets out this quarter.

This waterfall along the Columbia River Gorge east of Portland, Oregon, is the second-highest waterfall in the United States. This fact, along with its close proximity to Portland, makes it a hotspot for tourists traveling the gorge. The trail begins with a gradual slope up to the Benson Bridge, a historic and wellphotographed piece of engineering. The trail then gets steep as it ascends the rest of the 700 feet to the upper viewpoint, where hikers can snatch a few photos before heading down. The hike is open year round, but spring is always a great time for waterfalls.

Keep in mind that this is a tourist hotspot and try planning your trip on days when it will be least crowded. Although I haven’t yet done this hike, it is definitely on my to-do list if I ever make a trip over to Portland this Spring.

This waterfall lies just two and a half miles east of Multnomah Falls, along Oregon’s Columbia River Gorge. Although much shorter than Multnomah, Horsetail Falls and the trail that leads to it provide beautiful scenery and an escape from the loud interstate that lies far below. The trail begins with some gradual switchbacks and eventually rises up and levels out into a small valley that leads to a bonus waterfall called ponytail falls. The trail continues on to a lookout point for Horsetail Falls. The loop may only be 2.6 miles, but the trail has junctions with other trails, giving hikers more options for a day outdoors. For instance, one junction leads to a hike called the Triple Falls hike, giving hikers a chance to see two waterfalls in addition to Horsetail Falls. This hike is on my to-do list and I hope to check it out when I visit Multnomah Falls.

photo by randalljhodges . com

Water Gear from mountain rents

If you want to do more than just look at water and are ready to get out in it, check out ASWWU’s Mountain Rents. According to their website, they are currently renting out quite a bit of paddling gear.

Kayaks

Life Jackets

Canoes

Helmets

Rafts

Paddles

Sources: http://en.wikipedia.org. http://www.wta.org. http://www.portlandhikersfieldguide.org.

Th

LIFE TRAVEL| 21

The Hidden Costs of Travel //

photo by instagram user swhite436

photo of the week

Jon Mack

Travel Editor

When travelers begin to plan their next adventure, their first financial concerns typically arise from things such as plane tickets, train fares, lodging, and big attractions they want to experience. The problem is that there are all sorts of small costs associated with travel that stack up quickly. Here in the travel section, I have outlined several different costs that seem to surprise travelers once they have embarked on their adventures. If you keep these tips in mind, you can more responsibly budget your next travel journey.

Want to see your adventures in The Collegian? Just hashtag your Instagram photos #WWUTRAVEL and your adventures just may show up here on the travel page.

photo by images . wikia .

photo by pixabay . com

photo by resimbul . com

photo by anatomia . blox . pl

Minor Transportation

Hidden Hostel Fees

Water

Toilets

Many people neglect that taxis, buses, undergrounds, and chariots cost money to use. Each time you ride a bus or underground, it may cost $1–3 per ride per person. And if you ride it one way, you will most likely ride it back. For an active traveler, it is often easy to rack up $15–20 per day on transportation alone, which adds significant cost to the trip.

And some taxi rides could cost up to that much per use! Make sure to include these costs when planning your budget.

Hostels advertise low rates to get you in their doors, but often want to charge you for things you would expect to be included in the price. Justin Mock and I were in Barcelona last year and experienced this firsthand. They advertised extremely low rates. Once in the door, we learned that they were going to charge us for using their bedding materials, towels, and locker space. They even charged a hotel tax! All of their extra charges nearly doubled the advertised price, so be weary of what you are signing up for when looking into lodging. Sometimes a more-expensiveper-night price will include some of the fees the cheaper places don’t include.

Restaurants outside of the USA will often charge you for water and bring it to you in a bottle. Sometimes this is because their tap water is not safe to drink, but other times they simply want to make money off you.

I advise purchasing a large bottle of water from a convenience store and filling up your own personal water bottle wherever you are staying to cut back on hydration costs.

More fluids=more urine=more trips to the toilet, and once again, outside the USA not all toilets are free, so that means more money leaving your wallet. Restaurants don’t want you wandering into their dining rooms just to use the restroom if you aren’t patronizing them. Make sure to use the restroom at your hotel or hostel, and make good use of the free restrooms at attractions you visit to cut down unnecessary costs.

sir turtle

photo by farm 4. staticflickr . com /

photo by amazingcayman . com

DESTINATION OF THE WEEK:

THE CAYMAN ISLANDS •

The Cayman Islands are a territory of the U.K., but Spanish is commonly spoken due to their close proximity to Central and South America.

•

Famous for: Offshore accounts, stingrays, hurricanes, the Cayman Parrot, luxurious resorts, scuba diving, and rich white people.

•

Their national logo is Sir Turtle.

photos by brenda negoescu

item of the week

photo by flickr . com / photos / sergemelki

A Passport!

I doubt you’ll get very far without it.

LIFE SCIENCE | 22

James Bond’s Ejector Chair // Joe Hughes

Science & Tech Editor

We’ve all wanted one. In Goldfinger, James Bond used his to get rid of a bad guy who was riding shotgun, but having the ejector seat in a car really limits you if you don’t want to kill the other person. Why not take that ejector seat and put it in a living room? Why not next to the pool? Why not in lecture halls? I got alarmingly far in my design and its applications today, and I think this could be made for less than $200. I wonder if it’s too late to change my senior project ….

What do we want? Let’s try getting a 150lb. person about a meter above the ground.

We don’t want to hurt him or her too much (surprise and alarm, not internal bleeding, is our goal) so let’s set a cap of 3g’s. Let’s also just assume a 60-degree launch angle. The closest armchair to me sits 45 cm above the floor and my center of mass is about 120 cm above my feet, so let’s use those numbers.

The height requirement and the angle tell us that the exit velocity should be 6.77 m/s, or about 15 mph.

The safety requirement means you need to speed up over a distance of about 23 cm, which is fortuitously small enough to be feasible. This results in a ballistic trajectory 1 meter high and 3.75 meters long, so about 3 feet up and 12 feet across. Sweet!

Now how are we going to get those numbers?

We are going to have to store 1.6 kilojoules, which is a lot, and then release it as 1,560

pounds of force for about 70 milliseconds, which is faster than a blink but way more exciting.

To do this, we are going to compress some massive springs with a cheap stepper motor and a massive reduction ratio transmission, and then release them with solenoids.

I found some good springs online for about $40, but you’d need 3 of them in parallel. If we want to be cheap we could scavenge a junkyard and weld some suspension springs together. Of course, the release mechanism would be remote controlled because flights are always better with surprise.

So, I am kind of surprised that it’s possible to disguise a machine powerful enough to toss you across a room as a normal armchair, but I am way more surprised that it’s not for sale yet. Think of the possibilities: a lawn chair version that could go next to a pool would be great for stirring lazy parents on a Sabbath afternoon. Ever been in a rush to get out of the house and your friend is still watching TV? Not anymore, he isn’t!

Snap judgments to get off your butt and be productive could have a lot more kick to them.

Just imagine: “I really should get up and do some homework … but I haven’t seen the new Game of Thrones … alright, fine, let’s do th— WHOOSH — WOOOAHAHhaha I am ready to write that paper!”

Point the chair at your front door and give surprise hugs to people coming into your house: “Hey man thanks for inviting us ov”— WHOOSH — “CATCH ME!” See? Start off all visits on a good foot. This works for breakups, too. How much more satisfying would it be to throw someone out of your life if you could throw him or her across the room, too? “I found out that you cheated. You’re moving out.”

WHOOSH. Problem solved. Or make a bed model and rig it up to your alarm clock. You probably won’t sleep through class after that.

While launching other people into exciting and unanticipated alertness is great fun, some of the best uses of the ejector chair are on oneself.

Escaping awkward conversations is now a cinch; just press one button and you are already in the next room. For example:

“Honey, we should talk about the next level of commitment. Do you think it’s time?”

“Wait, is the oven on?”

WHOOSH. That was close.

Some of you may be wondering what happens if a kid uses it. If it launches a 150-pound person 1 meter high, what happens to a 40-pound preschooler? Neglecting air resistance, the young pilot would fly about 20 feet up and about 40 feet over. Better use this one outside.

What about a 10-pound cat? If Mittens is sleeping in your chair when you want to sit down, he better have a crash helmet, ’cause he will be landing 160 feet away.

If the last few paragraphs didn’t make you want an ejector chair of your own, there’s simply no hope. If the last few paragraphs made you excited, AND yo u h ave some used furniture you don’t w a n t anymore, or yo u are a g o o d welder, or you (or you neighbor) have a junker car that didn’t really need suspension after all, you should give me a holler!

drawings by joe hughes

Got a question?

Have a bonkers question? Have a serious question? Want to talk about cats in space? Send me questions on anything as serious as electron spin or as silly as frosting-covered rabbits on pogo sticks and I'll do my best.

— Joe (joseph.hughes@wallawalla.edu)

LIFE

Spring Hits Hard // Grayson Andregg Sports Editor

The University of Connecticut (7th seed) and the University of Kentucky (8th seed) went at it in an impressive showcase of photo by cbshartford . files . wordpress . com /

Every sport has its leaders; for the NBA, it’s Miami and the Spurs. For the NFL, it’s been New England, and more recently, Seattle.

For the MLB, it’s the Yankees. For college basketball, it’s Louisville and Duke. But as I was watching the NCAA D-1 Men’s Basketball championship, I was in awe, as two unlikely teams that halfway through the season looked like they had no shot of making it were competing for a national title.

Athlete Profile

CARLY IWASA

What was the transition like from playing in high school to college?

photo by mask . wallawalla . edu

Hometown Payette, Idaho Class Standing Freshman Major Pre-Physical Therapy Age 18 Sport, Position Softball, Outfield

Because of the time commitment softball demands, it goes to show how much each player loves the game — taking that much time away from their work or studies reassures that everyone is there because they want to be there. In high school, there were some cases where girls joined the team because their parents wanted them to or because they just didn’t want to be bored. Those people were usually not very fun to play with. Playing with a core group of girls who take it seriously offers a lot more because we tend to feed off of each other’s energy and push each other to be better. Having coaches that I know I can trust also provides me with great mentors on and off the field.

offensive talent, where I’m pretty sure that at least five players earned a spot on an NBA team. It was the highest combined seeding in the championship game in history, as there has never been a 7th/8th seed matchup before. UConn came away with the win on Monday night during primetime, proving that their elite offense was unmatched in the tournament.

SPORTS | 23

this coming Tuesday at 5 p.m. and 7 p.m. against Eastern Oregon University. Come and support the team with your school spirit!

Many more crazy instances are sure to take place this spring and early summer, and I’m positive that we are all excited to see what happens.

photo by walla walla photos

These college athletes have proved that their talent is praiseworthy, and have well deserved their time in the limelight; hat’s off to UConn. This spring has already brought us some other surprises, as the Mariners are one of five teams in the American League with a winning record. Huh. Women’s Wolves softball has started for the spring as well, and they already have games Do you see the athletics under their belt with more program progressing in the to come. This Thursday, right direction at WWU? they will be playing a double-header at home I think so. Offering more against Oregon Institute scholarships would enable us to of Technology, with games attract better athletes and enhance at 5 p.m. and 7 p.m., and the program. It seems like the people are doing their best to improve and maintain what we have to offer. We just have to keep in mind that we aren’t going to make the changes overnight.

Did You Know?

What are your personal future athletic goals?

I haven’t thought too much about athletics beyond college … I think it would be really fun to work as a physical therapist/trainer for a professional athletic team, eventually, but as far as personal athletics go, I just feel lucky to have been able to make the time to play right now.

Athlete Heroes?

Ichiro Suzuki, Barb Nwaba

Fishing is the most-participated-in sport in the world.

The volleyball was created by someone taking the cover off a basketball.

The most common substance on an average mouth guard is fecal matter.

An NFL lineman can shed up to nine pounds of water weight during a game.

Before 1850, golf balls were basically pillows: leather stuffed with feathers.

back

word

Back from Beirut // I’m BACK! It’s actually quite touching; people I don’t even know have been coming up to me all over campus and congratulating me on making it home safely. I feel like I’ve just survived some apocalyptic event; So thank you, strangers.

During my time in Beirut, I stayed at Middle East University, the only Adventist university in Lebanon, where I made the acquaintance of some of the friendliest people I have ever met. After only 24 hours in Beirut, I realized that much of what I thought about Lebanon wasn’t true. Nobody wanted to kidnap me, and if they did, it was to take me out to dinner downtown and show me around the city center, which was complete with fountains, palm trees, towering monuments, and shopping malls I couldn’t afford (insert Coco-Chanel).

Yes, some people wear hijabs (the Muslim headscarves), but just as many people

wear miniskirts and hoop earrings. And yes, there are some military people standing around the main buildings downtown, but when I walked past them, more often than not the 19-year-old military boys were looking at Facebook on their smart phones. (Status Update: On shift again at the mosque #bored #GettingGelatoAfterThis #ThenI’mOffToSeeNoah #Yalla.)

There is no sand. None. The driver who picked me up at the airport joked with my boyfriend that they should have picked me up on a camel, but they didn’t know where they’d find one or how they’d park it next to the BMWs and taxis.

Normally when I travel abroad, people are very interested in where I’m from: “Oh you’re from California? Do you know Justin Timberlake?” In Lebanon, people weren’t interested with where I came from; but they did want to know this: “How are you

Rachel

Logan BackWord Editor

finding Lebanon?” As in, “Do you still think that we’re all Osama Bin Laden terrorists or running from bombs?” And after spending time in Beirut, a city frequently popping up in the news for acts of terror, I can honestly say that I don’t think Beirut is any more dangerous than any other big city I’ve visited. In fact, I felt safer walking around in downtown Beirut than Paris after dark. Who would’ve thought?

Here I was prepared with my pepper spray, and in the end, I might as well have left it at home and brought another pair of heels instead.

Out of all the people I met and all the conversations I had, the one that stuck with me the most was with a local Lebanese woman. She said that people from Lebanon were afraid to go the U.S. because it was so dangerous there. In America, teenagers are stealing guns and shooting up elementary schools and movie theaters. In Lebanon, yes, there are shootings and car bombs, but they aren’t random, and they aren’t done on a whim. Bombs target specific, political people or buildings, and they are planned out with precision; it isn’t random, and isn’t likely to lm ? Pa See es! e r T sure o not I’m I was s is. h why ed by t t exci

verbatim

Beautiful overlook of the country.

According to my tour guide, this is about a fourth of the country’s coastline.

“I think she knows how much I love her after the night we spent together.”

-Ali Reiner, on Dean Heidi taking her to the E.R.

“Let’s get rid of all the boobs”.

-Kirsten Archer, on YouTube sidebar advertisements

“If you see a short person on an ASWWU bike, GET AWAY. We fall!”

affect the average Lebanese citizen. “But in the U.S., you never know when you might be caught in a mall shooting or be the random target. Sounds terrifying.”

No city is perfect and no country is safe from extreme media portrayals. The media has taught the Lebanese that we are cowering from mall shootings and we are told there are bombs dropping down in Beirut every other day.

At the end of the day, people are people, and the biggest difference between the Lebanese and Americans is the way they drive (which is crazy, with no regard for lanes, seatbelts, or helmets on motorcycles) and how they eat their avocados (blended in a smoothie with fruit. Even the Californian in me couldn’t handle it). I am happy to report that Lebanon is a beautiful country and I feel very lucky to have visited.

Now stop what you’re doing and admire all the amateur photos I took on my iPhone. #letmetakeaselfie.

Confession Yes, Professor Beck: I was the one who stuck your baton to your music stand with clear packaging tape during that PRISM concert practice on April Fool’s Day of 2009. You were so mad, and I was almost sorry I did it BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (evil grin).

Sincerely, You’ll Never Know Who I Am

Everybody got time for gelato on the pier

-Kimberly Beltran

“Let’s ordain women! This isn’t Southern; I can’t get fired for that here.”

-Terry Gottschall

Every time I goog led Be irut t So no his ro w ck ca #oneo you know me u p. it familli onpic actually ex tureso is fthisro ts. ck

It was like I had never seen Starbucks befor a e.

To submit anonymous confessions, type: wwuconfessions.tumblr.com into your browser and click the Ask Me Anything button at the top.