Volume 98, Issue 25

Walla Walla University

the

Collegian 22 May 2014 | Volume 98 | Issue 25

#THECOLLEGIAN

6

SNAPSHOTS

12

driving above the influence

P. 15

your brain on distractions

FOOD

19

TRAVEL

22

This edition of The Collegian marks the second-tolast issue of volume 98 and the last issue produced by your 2013–2014 Collegian staff. With each volume of The Collegian comes the exploration of all sorts of ideas, new and old. As each year’s Collegian Editorin-Chief and staff change, the focus and tone of the publication changes. This year, we have examined topics like world religions, student debt, health, social media, rape culture, the values of media, and more. Each week, The Collegian has strived to provide genuine entertainment, diverse perspectives, relevant news, and interesting features to enrich student life — with the ultimate purpose of stimulating and nurturing discussion in our campus community.

Grant Perdew Editor-In-Chief

Along with the end of our Collegian’s trek, this weekend is Memorial Day Weekend. I’m sure that many of you will be traveling, and if so, most likely driving. As much as we may think we’re invincible, we’re not; and things like texting, fatigue, and even drinking and marijuana can and quite possibly will lead to terrible things. I know it’s ground into our minds that we need to be safe when on the road, but it is incredibly important. Driving is a privilege to take

8–14

3–7

Context

Perspective

photo by carlton henkes

photo by alix harris

Opinion | Religion | ACA/SM Portland Update | Column | Creative Writing Snapshots | Diversions | Letters to the Editor

Driving Above the Influence: Your Brain on Distractions

Assistant Editor Nathan Stratte

Head Layout Editor Alix Harris

Head Copy Editor

Lauren Heathcock

Head Photo Editor

Kurtis Lamberton

News Editor

Carolyn Green

Feature Editors

Brooklynn Larson Katie Pekar Brandon Torkelsen

Opinion Editors

Carlton Henkes Rebecca Williams Andrew Woodruff

Fashion Editor

Alyssa Hartwick

Sports Editor

Grayson Andregg

Religion Editor John Lubke

health & Outdoors Editor Justin Mock

Diversions Editor Eric Weber

Travel Editor

Layout Designers

In the coming weeks, as the new Collegian staff puts together an issue and we begin the transition into a new school year, I encourage you to be inspired by the things you have read and learned this year, and apply that to a more exciting, discussion-filled life that has the potential to change the world for the better.

Thank you for being a fantastic student body and community. Editor out!

18–24

life

feature

photo by the way

Grant Perdew

In this week’s issue of The Collegian, Feature editors Katie Pekar and Brandon Torkelsen explore the effects the aforementioned substances, states, and habits have on our brains, especially during the act of driving, as well as the legal repercussions for driving under those influences. You will also find updates on the “To Build a Home” project and Spring Jam, a satirical look on social issues, valuable perspectives shared by contributors Alex Lemnah, Hallie Anderson, and Brooklynn Larson, and the final writings and sections of this year’s staff.

15–17

News | Briefing | To Build A Home | News Senate Update | #thecollegian | Calendar

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

seriously. Even if not for our own sake, for the safety of others on the road, we must use caution to avoid tragedy.

photo by

@ bathtubsleak

Culture | Food | Science | Sports | Travel Outdoors | BackWord

Joe Hughes

Andralyn Iwasa Samantha Schnell Ian Smith Jenna Thomas

If you are interested in contributing to The Collegian, contact our page editors or the editor-in-chief at aswwu.collegian@wallawalla.edu. The Collegian is boosted by regularly incorporating a wide range of student perspectives.

Food EDitor

Copy Editors

Cover Credit: flickr user Johanna H, @the_atlas, Carlton Henkes, Andrea Johnson, Flipperviaggi.com

Culture Editor

Timothy Barbosa

Rachel Blake Jassica Choi Carly Leggitt

Backword Editor

Staff Writers

Lester Biggs Savannah Kisling Lauren Lewis

The Collegian is the official publication of ASWWU. Its views and opinions are not necessarily the official stance of Walla Walla University or its administration, faculty, staff, or students. Questions, letters, and comments can be sent to aswwu.collegian@ wallawalla.edu or grant.perdew@wallawalla.edu. This issue was completed at 1:45 a.m. on 22 May 2014.

Distribution Manager

For information about advertising, please contact aswwu.ads@wallawalla.edu.

Jon Mack

Science & Technology Editor

Andrea Johnson

Rachel Logan

Creative Writing Editor Rachel Blake

Columnists

Madeleine Boyson Micah Hall

Mark Roesler

The Collegian | Volume 98, Issue 25 | 204 S. College Avenue College Place, WA 99324 | collegian.wallawalla.edu

CONTEXT NEWS | 3

The Way–short film // savannah kisling Staff Writer The Way, a student-directed and produced short film, seeks to re-tell a familiar Bible story and reach a wide audience with upcoming premier.

The Way was created by Jesse Churchill and Erik Edstrom starting back in August 2013. There was a need recognized in the Seventh-day Adventist film industry: “We believe that the Seventh-day Adventist film-making industry is in dire need of quality films that can reach a wide audience. We hope that The Way is able to tell a story that is easily recognizable to Christians yet not preachy towards nonChristians,” said Churchill.

The premise of the film is based on the life of Saul — later Paul — in the book of Acts. “Saul, a soldier in the United States Army fighting a rebel group that has risen,

finds that all is not as it seems,” explained Churchill. “He is forced to answer some tough questions about what is really true.”

Because the film takes place in a modern setting that is all too real for our world today, the creators hope that the story can take on a new meaning and a new level of understanding for Christians.

The film was created on a shoestring budget of about $500 with the help of 25 students, faculty, and staff. “We believe that it is a quality production that shows that students (keep in mind neither Erik nor I are film majors) can do amazing things with little resources,” said Churchill. “We have been working on this project since August 2013. We are in post-production now.”

The premiere will be May 31 and the details about the venue and showtimes will be announced soon. Tickets are $5, and $4 of every ticket will go to ASWWU’s “To Build A Home” project. Be sure to like The Way — Short Film on Facebook to stay up to date on the details.

spring jam // lauren Lewis Staff Writer On June 1 from 5 to 8 p.m., on the Kretschmar lawn, the new ASWWU social team will be organizing Spring Jam, the annual outdoor music and BBQ celebration.

Spring Jam is an outdoor music and food event. It is held in celebration of spring, music, and the upcoming summer.

Six WWU bands, representing pop, indie, acoustic, and other genres, will be featured during the hoopla. The new ASWWU Social VP, Carly Yaeger, says students should expect “a lively time to just

kick back, relax, and chill with friends while enjoying great music and a BBQ dinner.”

The BBQ dinner will be served on Kretschmar lawn, with Sodexo providing grillers, veggie hot dogs, condiments, fruit, cookies, and more. ASWWU cabinet members will be serving the food.

Blankets will be available for rent at the event.

Students are encouraged to bring couches, chairs, blankets, pillows, or anything to make the lawn more comfortable. Sunglasses, sunscreen, and sun hats are advised. A water mister will be present for students who want to cool off.

All volunteers and bands will receive Spring Jam T-shirts.

For more information on volunteering, email the ASWWU social team at aswwu.social@ wallawalla.edu.

Get stoked for delicious food, awesome music, and a marvelous mister. See you jammin’ at Spring Jam!

CONTEXT

BRIEFING NEWS | | 44

$100,000

Percentage of people in each culture who say it is necessary to believe in God to be a moral person.

14% 53%

egyptians

americans

14 % Percentage of homicides that are deemed justifiable on the grounds of self defense.

{ { { {

ct

me Proje

90% chinese

Homicides of black men by white women.

Homicides of white men by black women.

3%

½

“We are better people than what these laws represent, and it is time to discard them into the ash heap of history.”

{ { { {

— Judge John E. Jones III, of the Pennsylvania Federal District Court, on his decision to strike down the state ban on same-sex marriage.

“The force will remain in Chad until its support in resolving the kidnapping situation is no longer required.”

Portion of all online advertising that is never seen by a human being.

Portion of federal prison inmates who are nonviolent drug offenders.

½

Ho To Build A

$40,000

— Barack Obama, on his deployment of about 80 U.S. armed forces to help locate and support the safe return of the over-200 schoolgirls kidnapped in Nigeria.

“To make a GIF, simply turn a rotating crank that pops up from its top!”

— DesignTaxi, on a new GIF-taking camera called OTTO.

“Academic freedom is not sacrosanct. It too must submit to God in a Christian college.”

— Dr. Kevin Clauson, a professor of politics and justice at Bryan College, which is currently facing uproar after bosltering its view on evolution.

Sources: NYTimes, Harper's Magazine, NPR

LEARN MORE & DONATE AT TINYURL.COM/ PP6T3E

CONTEXT NEWS | 5

A Life of Service // PADDY MCCOY

Campus Chaplain In 1989, she took over the management of the Student Missions program at WWU. For 25 years, she has worked to grow the strongest missions program in North America, sending around 70 student missionaries each year. If you do the math, that is about 1,750 student missionaries total. Those are 1,750 changed lives, 1,750 locations blessed by the sacrifice and service of WWU students, 1,750 sons and daughters of God that she has prayed over, wept over, rejoiced with, and cared for. Hers is truly a life devoted to service.

At the end of July, my dear friend and colleague, Jeanne Vories, will step down as the leader of the Student Missions program at WWU. She will continue to serve on campus in a part-time position, offering support to the Chaplain’s Office and the Missions program, but it will be a change in her level of service. In light of that, and if you were at last Friday’s dedication vespers,

“For 25 years, she has worked to grow the strongest missions program in North America, sending around 70 student missionaries

each year.”

you would have seen Part I of our gratitude to Jeanne: we wanted to take a moment to say THANK YOU to Jeanne for her tireless, consistent, and amazing efforts to build God’s

kingdom and help solidify WWU as a campus that is committed to generosity in service.

To replace Jeanne’s role, we are restructuring in the Chaplain's Office and will soon announce the hiring of an Associate Chaplain for Missions and Discipleship. The role will mainly be taking over for Jeanne, but with her support we also hope that the role can help grow our discipleship efforts on campus.

Many current students have gone as student missionaries under Jeanne and that time will always be special. I have personally watched and been blessed by how much she cares for every student considering taking a year out to serve. She is affectionately referred to by many of the returned SMs as “Mamma Duck” because of the way she cares.

I think if more of us could model even an inkling of her commitment to service, the world would be a better place. So from all of us at WWU to Jeanne Vories, thank you for showing us how to be like Jesus by being His hands and feet to a world in great need: “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”

(Acts 1:8 ESV).

ewb plans h2-woah // Lester Biggs Staff Writer

presentation in Chan Shun Pavilion, and the second half will be a fun interactive activity for the students.

On May 23, EWB (Engineers without Borders) will be educating young children from our neighboring elementary schools about the importance of water filtration.

“It’s an educational and fun event we are putting together for kids in the area so that they can learn some fun science and about how science can help impact the world in a positive way,” said EWB Marketing Coordinator Kari Gomez.

H2-Woah was planned by EWB, along with WWU alumni Elaina Avery of the Blue Mountain Humane Society, to teach young children ages 7–10 from the Walla Walla and College Place areas about the importance of water filtration. They also plan to share with the students the stories of EWB's experience in Peru. The first half will consist of a

During the event, the children will be taught about the importance of clean water and filtration systems by incoming EWBWWU Vice President Wesly Centerwall. The students will then be given the opportunity to make their own filters, and there will even be prizes for cleanest water, best filters, and other categories. To finish up the event,

International Vice President Bryce Hill, and some other EWB officers, will present a model of the anti-gravity fed system that will be installed in Peru, and will also inform the children about the work being done there.

“The model will demonstrate the functionality of each component and help as an educational tool when the project team is in Peru,” said Centerwall.

Through this presentation and mini lab experience, the children will not only gain a better understanding of the importance of clean water, but it will also give EWB the opportunity to explain their project and show the impact of a non-clean water source in the community.

SENATE UPDATE New Business G.L. 31 — ASWWU Mission Statement

Old Business G.L. 14 — Security Equipment Purchase G.L. 16 — 2014–2015 Budget Approval G.L. 25 — Personnel Manual Revision G.L. 26 — Kate Heinrich for Parliamentarian and ASWWU Chief Justice G.L. 27 — Michael Swan for ASWWU Justice G.L. 28 — Nikki Holm for ASWWU Justice G.L. 29 — Jaci Shankel for Financial Vice President

Senate is continually seeking ways to improve student life. We encourage you to talk to your senators about any suggestions, comments, or ideas.

Visitors are welcome! Join us at 9 p.m. on Thursdays in WEC 217.

CONTEXT 6

#thecollegian

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with valid student id

not valid with any other offer All-You-Can-Eat Buffet | $8.99 Thursday, Friday, & Sunday | 11 a.m. - 2:30 p.m.

Phad Thai or Thai Noodle Soup | $7.00 Tuesday

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CONTEXT 7

week in forecast 22 may Thursday 86° 57°

23 may Friday 79° 52°

Symphony Orchestra Concert 7:30 p.m.

WWVA Auditorium

ASWWU Outdoors: Surf Trip (Entire Weekend) ASWWU Agape Feast 7 p.m.

KRH Lawn

Buy a Musical Instrument Day

25 may sunday 82° 50°

79° 48°

photo by timmothy torres

photo by arella aung

24 may Saturday photo by arella aung

photo by katarina gref

ReNEW Sabbath School 10 a.m.

Conard Chapel

National Tap Dance Day Nerd Pride Day

Collegiate Sabbath School 10:30 a.m.

Prayer House

Vespers: Paul Dybdahl 8 p.m.

KRH Lawn (Heubach Chapel if bad weather)

Berean Fellowship 10:30 a.m.

FAC

upcoming events 26 may monday

27 may tuesday

photo by flickr user jeffreyturner

photo by arella aung

blog . handsonsuburbanchigago . org

photo by joshua mckinny

81° 48°

Memorial Day Holiday Senior Recital: Elizabeth Rice, Cello 7:30 p.m.

FAC

73° 41°

CommUnity: Outdoor Pizza 11 a.m.

University Church Biblical Authority Seminar 7 p.m.

FAC General Student Recital 7:30 p.m.

FAC

photo by ivan cruz

photo by flickr user leo reynolds

photo by kai kopitzke

ASWWU Vespers May 30, 8 p.m.

University Church

Woodwind Quintet Recital May 31, 8:30 p.m.

FAC

Soonago Church May 31, 10:30 a.m.

CTC Bowl

Spring Jam June 1, 5–8 p.m.

Kretschmar Lawn

Wind Symphony Concert May 31, 5 p.m.

University Church

Bed Races June 3 College Ave.

PERSPECTIVE OPINION | 8

your unintentional selfies //

collegian

WISDOM

Carlton Henkes

Opinion Editor

= C

Google overtakes Apple as the world’s most valuable brand.

As of this year, I am new to the smartphone in-crowd. I was thrilled to get my greedy paws on one of the fanciest new models and start using the apps that I had heard so much about over the years. Being out of the loop for so long, I was unaware of the selfsatisfying pleasures of Instagram, Kik, Vine, Pinterest, Snapchat, and the Tumblr and Facebook apps. The price of such pleasures had yet to be discovered.

While learning to operate my phone, I found that each app needs an update every few weeks. By pressing “continue,” I agree to a list of briefly described “app permissions” before downloading the latest modifications.

Most of these permissions are benign, but some would certainly raise eyebrows.

Net worth googol dollars.

Six Iranians arrested for making fan video of Pharrel Williams’ “Happy” Pharrel Williams not happy with Iran.

=

DNA tests offered to parents to check if their child will be a redhead.

Take the Facebook app permissions, for instance. Having this app on your phone does the following:

• “Allows the app to record audio with the microphone. This permission allows the app to record audio at any time without your confirmation.”

Error 404: Soul not found.

Omni-magna-ultra-ubertyrannasaurus-rex.

GOP lawmaker: bring back firing squad executions.

Criminals make the best target practice.

Michael Jackson hologram to perform at Billboard Music Awards.

Postmortem moonwalking.

C C

Newest and largest species of dinosaur unearthed in Argentina.

• “Allows the app to read SMS messages stored on your phone or SIM card. This allows the app to read all SMS messages, regardless of content or confidentiality.”1

C

• “Allows the app to get your precise location using the Global Positioning System (GPS) or network location sources such as cell towers and Wi-Fi.” • “Allows the app to access the phone features of the device. This permission allows the app to determine the phone number and device IDs, whether a call is active, and the remote number connected by a call.”

• “Allows the app to take pictures and videos with the camera. This permission allows the app to use the camera at any time without your confirmation.”2 Other Facebook app permissions go on to explain that the app can read all of the contact information on your phone, including how often you call, email, or text each person, and can record your call log data and share that information without your knowledge.

Excuse me, but Mister Zuckerberg, why do you insist on being able to know who and when I call, read my every text, and listen to and watch my every move? And what do I get in return? A program that vibrates my phone every time a friend comments on a Facebook post. Lovely.

There are laws in Europe that require companies to show customers the information stored about them if the customer wants to know. Max Schrems, an Austrian law student, made a request of the European Facebook Headquarters in Dublin, Ireland to see the data that has been stored on him. Understandably, Facebook

parks and recreation // andrew woodruff Opinion Editor I used to hate nature as a child. Growing up, my family liked to take many a Saturday to go on a nature hike. After attending Sabbath school and church, my family would hop into our car and, instead of going home, head straight to the Cascades. At the time, I was not a fan. I thought hiking was just walking uphill plus a really boring drive and my dad pointing at things and saying, “Ooo, look at

that!” It was just a lot of sneezing and sore muscles. My idea of a comfortable Saturday afternoon at the time involved reading a book, listening to Adventures in Odyssey, or sneakily watching movies on my laptop when my parentals were taking Sabbath naps.

These days, my preferences are switching from house-lounging to the great outdoors.

Being inside for too long just makes me antsy.

People are not meant to be cooped up for long and we are definitely not meant to go a whole day without marveling at a cloud or a tree.

There is something calming and centering about spending an afternoon in the mountains or at a park. Often, my thoughts are clearer

was reluctant to comply, so Schrems fought fervently with the help of the Irish authorities to enforce the law. Facebook eventually caved and released a large portion of Schrem’s personal information, though they still would not divulge the entirety of the collected data. The hard copy was 1,222 pages long and weighed several pounds. Schrems was shocked to find how much Facebook knew, since he had only posted about once a week on average during the three years he had a Facebook account. The PDF file of his information was easily searched using keywords, allowing anyone at the Facebook headquarters with access to instantly look up his political tendencies, tagged photos/ videos, sexual preferences, etc. Schrems also noticed that everything he had deleted on his account was in fact still intact and on file, with the addition of the boldfaced word “Deleted” next to the unaffected entry. Max Schrems says, “You hide it actually from yourself. But anyone from Facebook or any government agency that wants to look at it later can still retrieve it and get it back.”3 In case you are wondering how to request the information stored on you, too bad. There are no such laws in America that require companies like Facebook to divulge this information to users. Someday Big Brother just may use that deleted, unflattering selfie against you. Until then ... Happy posting!

1. These are Text Messages.

2. Direct quotes from Android App Permissions.

3. Terms and Conditions May Apply. Dir. Cullen Hoback. Feat. Max Schrem, Mark Zuckerberg, Orson Scott Card, and Moby. Hyrax Films, and Topiary Productions. 2013. Film.

For more information, you can find the above documentary on Netflix.

outside. Much of what I write is Whitman Mission inspired, as a walk around the place can usually cure me of writer’s block.

I used to want to be entertained to stave off boredom. I figured the best way to do that was with screens and media — from Gameboy to computers to TV to N64.

Yet I was losing my sense of adventure and imagination for every moment I was contentedly entertained. The more I absorb, the less I want to create. The more I spend time around the house, the more it becomes a habit. This transition away from houselounging is an ongoing process in my life.

But there are only so many corners in a house. Taking a trip out to nature offers all of us something we can’t get indoors: an opportunity to explore.

PERSPECTIVE RELIGION | 9

slut-shaming // john lubke

Religion Editor I had been wondering what I would write about for my last article as the Religion editor this year. It’s been a great year, and I certainly would’ve enjoyed doing a recap article. But if you’ve been reading the section this year, you probably won’t be surprised that instead of tying the year up in a bow, I’m gonna go out by opening just one more can of worms.

Slut-shaming is the act of character assassination — making someone feel guilty and ashamed for sexual activity or behavior that deviates from orthodoxy, gender expectation, or cultural belief.

Today, with the Internet and technology so readily available, slut-shaming specifically has become one of the most prevalent and destructive forms of cyber bullying. The practice of slut-shaming usually involves a person or group of people posting or circulating sexually explicit pictures or videos of another person without consent — all with the goal of public humiliation.

Wait a minute, John; are we really going there? Why are you talking about this now?

Let me tell you.

This past week, I was hanging with a friend of mine. We were driving across town and got to talking. Our conversation took

a detour when my friend decided to open up about what she was dealing with, so I pulled over and gave her my full attention. What happened next shook me to the core. She had been talking about wanting to leave Walla Walla, and about being homesick, but then she revealed why.

Last year, she had been at a party with a bunch of other students. Lots of alcohol was involved with all who were present. In the blur of an evening, some of the people were pairing off — and one person singled her out. She was not in a state of being able to give consent — not to the person she was with, nor to the camera that captured what happened next.

The video went viral.

She walked into the cafeteria the next week, and could feel the eyes of people judging her.

She knew what they were up to, hovering over their phones. Content on the Internet couldn’t be flagged fast enough. The photos and the videos were simply being posted and reposted, circulating from phone to phone, inbox to inbox. There were no walls for her to hide behind; no way to keep her tormenters away. An evening already marked by sexual exploitation was now being broadcast continually, permanently outside her control.

She was now burdened with a scarlet letter.

The scorn amplified. She tried to open up about her pain, but her friends told her that it was her own fault. At every turn she was denied empathy.

And all the while, no accusation befell her assaulter. The only hit he got was a high-five for a notch in his belt.

What if this happened to you? What if this happened to your sister? What if this happened to your daughter?

This sort of thing happens all too often.

And don’t be naive: This is happening ON OUR CAMPUS. This behavior is that OF OUR STUDENTS. Are we to be the angry mob of accusers?

In the book of John, chapter 8, we are told of another story like this one. The Pharisees bring a woman caught in the act of adultery and cast her down in front of Jesus while He was teaching. The Pharisees quickly cite the Law of Moses that requires that she be stoned to death. Jesus kneels and begins to write in the sand; when he is pressed further by the Pharisees’ imperative He stands and says, “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.”

Jesus kneels back down and continues writing in the sand as, one by one, the accusers went away. When only the woman remained, Jesus addressed her with grace, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

She replied, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said simply, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”

Jesus means to bring us love and grace and healing. Jesus has an ideal in place for us to experience love and sexuality — in the way that is immersed in the love He has poured out for us since the very beginning. And we all know what it is to fall short of that love.

of God who is in pain. When we dismiss a person as a slut, we blame him or her for the onslaught of social consequences for sexual behavior.

But look at the woman at the feet of Jesus — where was the man with whom she was caught? Do we know anything about her circumstances? No. Only she and Jesus knew what was really going on.

Look at my friend, your fellow student, your classmate — she is not a slut; she is a victim. How dare we pick up stones against her? How dare we cast her at Jesus’ feet and demand her death? We are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus. We are called to be those who uplift and seek understanding. We are called to see God’s children and offer love.

This last week, I sat on the side of the road in my car, holding my friend as she wept helplessly into my shoulder. My heart broke for her.

And what I want more than anything is for your hearts to break for her, too.

Let’s put down the stones.

MORE ON SLUT-SHAMING: All Things Considered on NPR http://tinyurl.com/qzt4bbv.

Chesca Leigh, Video Blogger http://tinyurl.com/pkw7akg.

Laci Green, Video Blogger http://tinyurl.com/cuaxzfe.

There are many false promises that lead us to pain instead of love.

Help and Resources

Slut-shaming is wrong. Not only because condemnation and shame is not the way of Jesus, but because it dehumanizes a child

for Victims: Report the crime immediately.

College Place Police Dept. | 509-525-7778

CAMPUS

MINISTRIES

Campus Security | 509-527-2222

Rychelle Willis

Are you staying in Walla Walla for the summer? Though Walla Walla is a little quieter in the summer, there are still lots of opportunities

Get Emotional Help.

to get involved. Organizations such as the Humane Society, Volunteer Chore Services, the Salvation Army, and many others are still in

WWU Counseling Services | 509-527-2147

need of help during the summer months! The time commitment necessary can be as little as one hour a week. If you have any questions

Sexual Abuse Helpline | 800-234-0038

about volunteering or want to get involved this summer or next year we would love to help you get connected! Email rychelle.willis@ wallawalla.edu or community.service@wallawalla.edu for more information. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others,” and we are happy to help make that happen.

WWU Official Policy | tinyurl.com/qed5zf7.

Legal Information | tinyurl.com/p6xgddf.

PERSPECTIVE WELCOME BACK BASH ACA/SM 12 | 10

The Danger of Traveling to Say You’ve Traveled //

Alex Lemnah

Oxford, England There’s traveling and there’s travelingto-say-you’ve-traveled. The two are not the same. One is real and constructive and the other is a fat waste of time and money. Let me illustrate the difference between the two with a personal story.

In March, I took advantage of a fiveday break from my courses in Oxford to travel to Dublin with a friend over St. Patrick’s Day weekend.

Given that I could have gone nearly anywhere in Europe, why did I choose to visit the grimy and hung-over city so artfully denounced by Joyce?

Firstly, I didn’t know the extent of its degeneration. Mostly, however, I wanted to be able to say I’d experienced Patty’s Day in Dublin. To be clear, I don’t have a Facebook, nor do I have any digital profiles more complex than my Gmail and Bank of America account. So when I say that I meant to travel to Dublin in order to say that I’d done it, I don’t mean that I was looking to litter any social media sites with material proving that I’d done and seen everything that is to be done and seen — this is what usually indicates a person is traveling to say he’s traveled. My method was different, but the motive was the same, and it’s the motive that is the problem.

Though I wasn’t interested in engaging in any digital sinkholes of self-assertion, I was driven by the relish of knowing I could one day relay to my friends the winningness of my Irish holiday.

It was with this goal in mind that I joined tens of thousands of other tourists doing much the same in Dublin’s sick and dreary streets. I arrived with a friend on Saturday, two days before St. Patrick’s Day. It didn’t take long to realize that the full potential of good times could never actually be met

within the city limits. When we decided to abandon our plans and left the city, the impulse driving the trip shifted and my friend and I began traveling for the beauty of it. Leaving behind the thousands of iPhonographers capturing their best “meshots” with their beer and clover-leaf shades (no locals actually dared touch the latter), my friend and I headed south of Dublin to Wicklow National Park. We spent two days hiking, camping, and playing. During our ad-libbed trek we visited several ruins of ancient monasteries, met many locals, hitchhiked with the parents of a (gorgeous)

exploring abandoned mines in Mordor-like mountainsides south of the dread city. As it turns out, my friends were none the worse for it. In fact, they hardly cared. The truth is, people rarely have more than jealous or disinterested curiosity about others’ travels.

So why do people go to such great lengths to sport every single minor journey and trip they take? It certainly isn’t to benefit others.

photo

Irish pop star, interacted with dozens of lambs in the most prototypically Irish hillsides imaginable, and tracked the strangest bushy white-tailed deer I’d never seen in all my life.

I suppose this is the consequence of true travel: Genuine interaction and exchange with that which is native. Without the drive to tag as many notable sites as possible, my friend and I were able to soak up more Irish culture than we could have anticipated. We journeyed with the intrinsic motivation for discovery instead of the motivation for extrinsic affirmation. In other words, we were having too much fun to care about proving it. I ended up (responsibly) ditching my last class and we extended the trip five days longer than planned. When I did finally get back to Oxford, my friends were slightly disappointed because I wasn’t able to tell them raucous stories about downtown Dublin madness. Instead, as I related to them, I spent St. Patrick’s Day

I am not saying that a person shouldn’t be excited to share a moving or beautiful experience. But I do believe that true travel makes itself evident by the effect it has on the traveler. And the powerful influence of travel is not possible when one travels simply to say one has traveled. Many of those friends in Oxford spent their weekends flying off to well-known cities in Europe and staying just long enough to feel justified in saying that they’d “been there and done that.” What does this leave the world? Holes in the ozone and lots of debt. If, instead, people were primarily interested in engaging with and exploring by alex lemnah the lands to which they travel, the world would have a lot more visitors and a lot fewer tourists.

My travels have shown me that the people and places worth visiting aren’t always — oddly enough — the ones farthest away.

If I can become less interested in myself and more interested in those with whom I interact, then the trip across the street can prove as worthy a journey as any. The deciding factor is how personally invested I am. I am now home from an unforgettable journey that will continue into a summer with more traveling and hopefully extend itself indefinitely afterwards. And as I journey, I hope to keep in mind that life isn’t about creating talking points, it’s about living. Traveling follows the same formula.

I hope you can see your journeys this summer in the same way — that is, as long as you don’t constantly evidence them with permaposts.

Portland Update rachel liem

Well, here we are in the last few weeks of school, where we are so close to finishing ... and then we hit the brick wall of finals week. Ah, finals week. When we pull out our sweatpants, down 36-oz triple-shot lattes, pull all-nighters to last-minute cram/ Netflix marathon it up, and generally don’t sleep or shower. Procrastination becomes an art — a balancing act between Instagram selfies of all our books, watching cat videos, cleaning, and doing everything but studying. Well, here’s a random-buthopefully-useful D.I.Y. to keep you from studying.

You know those scrub pants that you have stains on from ... well, let’s just say you became the toilet? Here are a few hacks to get those out of your scrubs: Coffee | Blot the stain; sponge with one part white vinegar to two parts warm water and rinse.

Vomit | Rinse clean, pretreat with detergent, and wash in warm water.

Alcohol-based medications | Pretreat with detergent and rinse with cold water before throwing in the washer. If the stain is stubborn, pretreat a second time.

Ballpoint pen — Remove stain by blotting with rubbing alcohol; or, use hairspray to blot out marks.

Oil-based medications | Absorb grease with baby/talcum powder or pretreat with detergent and allow to set for 10 minutes before washing. Use dish soap as alternative.

Sweat | Mix 1 tbsp. white vinegar in ½ cup water and then sponge solution onto affected area.

Iodine | Soak in warm water for 20 minutes with detergent and then wash, along with an oxygen-based bleach.

Blood | Hydrogen peroxide and cold water.

Feces | Sun dry and hand scrub, while wearing gloves.

Baby Formula | Rinse and pretreat with detergent while soaking in cold water for 30 minutes.

(From Nurse.com/Scrub-Stains.)

Well, that’s it everyone, from Portlandia to you. Good luck to all — may the odds be ever in your favor. photos by aswwu photos by kimberly reich

ate

PERSPECTIVE COLUMN/CREATIVE WRITING | 11

CREATIVE

WRITING

CALLING KEN RACHEL BLAKE Because I needed to hear his voice on the line

Gay Narriage: the answer //

Burned out from his lifetime of huffing And blowing his house down, I called him.

He said he fell, smack, right on the icy pavement

micah hall

Unanchored by his black railroad boots.

Columnist

Holding on to the Explorer,

Today I want to talk about a touchy subject: gay marriage. As a Christian, I find it difficult to reconcile the Bible’s teachings with the concept of same-sex marriage. However, as an American, I think all people should be treated equally.1

He managed.

But each fall pounds at the door, chisels at the grave Stoning his last dreams into nightmares Death is closing, waiting.

Marriage is, of course, a legal institution, so the answer seems obvious. Since America now thinks everyone deserves to be treated equally, we should allow same-sex marriage. However, this question gets tricky when you remember that our founding fathers founded this nation on Christian principles. Thomas Jefferson was such a devoted Christian that he even published his own edition of the Bible!2 This means that my Christian principles of morality are just as important and morally binding for everyone else in this nation as they are to me. This also means everything I believe should be enforced by law.

Impatient.

If he leaves the leather armchair at half past nine, Gets back in bed and closes his eyes, He won’t wake up to a Coffee cup, A greasy steak, or the stench of sugar beets and cow dung over our childhood.

And I won’t ever return To Scott’s Bluff.

The calling of Saint Matthew

2

You see, marriage is a biblical institution.

God made Adam and Eve. In fact, there are whole genealogies in the Bible filled with straight men and women. Matthew 1:2 doesn’t say “Abraham begat Isaac; and Isaac begat Jacob; and Jacob married Titus and they adopted a cute Asian baby.” First, we all know Jesus was super white; none of his predecessors were Asian. Second, the Bible never talks about committed, homosexual relationships. It talks about homosexual rape, prostitution, orgies, and pagan rituals, but never about committed, homosexual relationships. If these relationships were so wonderful, they would have been

mentioned in the most wonderful book of all, the Bible.

As an American, I want homosexual couples to have all the rights of straight married couples if they want them. Of course, we can’t let them get married like normal Christian folk. Marriage is sanctified by God and God recommends getting a prenuptial agreement.3 We need something that acts like marriage but isn’t sanctified by God. The answer to this: narriage.

3

You see, nowhere in the Bible does it say narriage is sanctified by God. Since none of the rights that come with marriage are sanctified

by God, allowing the institution of marriage to homosexuals is entirely biblically appropriate. In fact, this would also fix the problem churches have when deciding if they shall allow gay marriage ceremonies in their churches. A church could not have a problem allowing a gay narriage ceremony since narriage is not a biblical institution.

There is, of course, one last problem. This is an equal institution to marriage, but it is still separate.

After the government took away the slaves, people started wanting integration. Separate but equal is not allowed anymore. We will need to integrate these institutions of marriage and marriage. Of course, we cannot allow homosexuals to get married; that is against the Bible, and thus against America. We need to allow for homosexual and heterosexual narriage and rid ourselves of the institution of marriage entirely. This will allow equality for all without bringing our great, Christian nation away from the Bible.

I. I am, of course, referring to America after we decided that “people” referred more than just white men who owned land.

2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jefferson_Bible.

3. Nearly 50% of Christian marriages end in divorce. Plan accordingly.

SNAPSHOTS

WELCOME BACK BASH

ROCK CLIMBING | 12 12

photos by carlton henkes

PERSPECTIVE DIVERSIONS | 13

Eric Weber

Diversions Editor & Pontificator

The classics //

Before writing this article, I Googled “How do you say goodbye?” To be honest, this is my seventh attempt at writing this article. It’s a difficult one to write; this section has been a huge part of my life these past two years. There’ve been ups; there’ve been downs; there’ve been diarrhea jokes; and for some odd reason you people keep reading, and nobody knows why. Literally, nobody knows why — this section is pretty horrible. I have loved writing it; it’s taught me a lot about myself and I thank you for giving me this opportunity. As the last and final article, I have included some Diversions classics. Thank

Work out all day: swoll

Morning lactose latte

Impressing ladies: totes

Forgetting bowel intolerance

Can’t walk up stairs: fail.

Oh not, it’s happening­— fart.

Life is like a box of chocolates.

You never know you have a peanut allergy until it’s too late.

“haiku”

“haiku”

you, and always remember: Don’t pee in the pool; pee in the hot tub.

weber’s aphorisms

Learning to like your body is like realizing you have a child.

You’re always surprised it’s there, until that one day when you realize it’s not leaving.

I understand math, just as much as I understand how babies are made.

You just add a bunch of numbers up and hope it comes out looking normal.

How to have a fulfilling summer

1. Put sunscreen everywhere. Just trust me on this one.

2. Take an hour every day and watch a TV show.

3. Dye your hair, do some henna, get a piercing: it’s ok to be a little rebellious.

4. Calories don’t count, it’s in ObamaCare. Look it up.

PERSPECTIVE 14

Letters to the editor //

By Hallie Anderson

In the May 15 issue of The Collegian, Emily Tillotson addressed the Bechdel test in the feature article. I keep hearing about the Bechdel test, and it is a rather intriguing tool for critique. (I mean really, who knew that women don’t talk to each other in movies as much as they do in real life?)

and Peach responds, “Root canal, and by the looks of it, it’s not gonna be pretty.”

But the problem I had with this small Bechdel box in the corner of page 17 was the list of popular failures and passers. Down at the bottom of failures was none other than Finding Nemo. I stared at that for a while, replaying the movie in my mind as I tried to think of a time when two female characters spoke to one another about something other than a man. But since I don’t remember much from 2003, Finding Nemo included, I decided to watch the movie instead of studying for an exam. I scoured that movie, determined to prove that Finding Nemo did indeed pass the Bechdel test. And now, for your reading pleasure, I give you my findings. (And I’ll do my best to jog your memory.)

Possible Pass Four: Darla waltzes over to the tank to menace

Possible Pass One: Deb is the little blue and white fish that has a sister named Flo ... okay, so it may or may not be her reflection, but they do talk.

Possible Pass Two: Peach (the starfish) tells her fellow fish tank friends to come watch Dr. P. Sherman do a procedure. Deb asks what the procedure is,

Dear Editor, Last week, as part of the “Values in Media” feature, the Bechdel Test was introduced and addressed. Since then, I’ve heard general complaints that the Bechdel Test doesn’t pass some of the most popular and beloved movies we all know and love.

This complaint worries me, especially since the test was not designed to determine whether a movie is worth watching, valuable to society as a whole, or a beautiful work of art. On the contrary, some of the most beautiful, worthwhile, and important movies ever made do not pass the test.

Possible Pass Three: The receptionist, Barbara, tells Darla (you know ... Darla!) that it’s time for her appointment.

- Peach and Deb’s conversation is about a root canal procedure on a male patient, done by a male dentist.

- Barbara is only talking to Darla because it’s regarding her appointment with Dr. Sherman, a male dentist.

- Darla and Peach are not actually talking to each other because, well, they can’t.

“If we are that concerned about women being underrepresented in films, we’re going to overlook some of the greatest female roles.”

Peach. She taps on the glass, while singing (yelling) “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.”

Peach cringes and says, “Find a happy place!

Find a happy place! Find a happy place!”

I know what you’re thinking, (other than, “this girl has too much time on her hands”).

You’re thinking that none of these qualify.

You’re thinking: - Flo and Deb absolutely do not count —

Deb is just insane.

The Bechdel Test, rather, is designed to make any media consumer aware that Hollywood does not treat or represent men and women equally. So rather than throwing out any movie that doesn’t pass the test (We totally shouldn’t, because Finding Nemo is one of my childhood favorites), let’s just use it as one tool among many others that aid our critical examination of the movies we watch.

Sincerely,

Brooklynn Larson

All of that may be true, but that brings me to my bigger concern: Are we forgetting Dory? (Pun totally not intended.) If we send everything through the Bechdel test, and if we are that concerned about women being under-represented in films, we’re going to

overlook some of the greatest female roles media has to offer. Dory is loyal, caring, fun, easy-going, kind, concerned, brave, and willing to reach out to perfect strangers.

In my opinion, Finding Nemo does not fail the Bechdel test, and more importantly, the Bechdel test is insufficient as it ignores some of the most significant female roles and all they represent. (Like Dory.)

Now I feel like I’ve watched a movie like an academic.

P.S. I have one last attempt at passing Finding Nemo if someone out there is still not convinced. Upon further investigation (meaning Internet browsing ...), I discovered that male clownfish will actually turn into females if and when the female clownfish dies.1 This would mean that the entire movie is filled with conversations between Dory and a suddenly female clownfish, Marlin.

Anyone? Biology majors, back me up!

1. http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2011/08/ clownfish-are-all-born-male-a-dominant-male-will-turnfemale-when-the-current-female-of-the-group-dies/.

photo from creative commons

FEATURE 15

DRIVING above THE INFLUENCE: Your Brain on Distractions

Brandon Torkelsen Feature Editor

This upcoming weekend is Memorial Day weekend, and many of you will be taking advantage of the extra day off by driving to various locations around the area. Over the last couple decades, driving has become an increasingly significant part of American life. Between 1980 and 2010, the average American doubled their daily drive to 37 miles.1 Unfortunately, as more people drive for longer periods of time, the frequency of accidents has increased. In 2012, 34,000 people died as a result of car crashes. While lawmakers and manufacturers are working to make driving safer — and the per driver statistics have steadily improved — operator error remains a problem. Many crashes are

Katherine Pekar

Feature Editor

the result of one of the drivers’ negligence. In 2012, 421,000 crashes occurred as a result of the drivers’ cell phone use and 351,000 were due to inebriation.

Unfortunately, the driver’s world is becoming more and more difficult. In addition to the existing problems, recent scholarship has shown that sleepy driving is as dangerous as drunk driving, and after the recent legalization of marijuana in many states, high drivers are becoming a problem.

Marijuana specifically has created the need for a new way to test drivers, as THC is not uniformly absorbed by the body and can remain in the blood for up to three months

Alcohol Alcohol, which causes slowed speech and thought processes, off-balance swaggering, decreased inhibitions, and slowed reaction to stimuli, affects the brain and central nervous system by altering levels of neurotransmitters.

Neurotransmitters are important chemical messengers that are used to transmit signals throughout the brain. Within the brain, cells called neurons are responsible for processing information. However, there are gaps called synapses between neurons. Neurotransmitters are thus responsible for bridging the gaps between neurons, binding to protein receptors that allow various functions to be turned on or off. These functions can be either excitatory, where they increase brain activity, or inhibitory, where they depress brain activity. Alcohol has the twofold effect of increasing the effects of GABA, an inhibitory neurotransmitter that causes slurred speech and sluggish movements, while also blocking the excitatory neurotransmitter glutamate with nearly the same results.

after use. Legislators, at both state and national levels, have been working to monitor these new dangers to drivers.

On the following pages, you will see how your brain can be effected by the things you subject yourself to — whether alcohol, marijuana, texting or sleep deprivation. We will also show the current legal ramifications for these things, along with cell phone use, in nearby states.2 1. dui.drivinglaws.org.

2. Stats are from madd.org/statistics/ and distraction.gov/content/get-the-facts/facts and-statistics.html unless otherwise noted.

THC THC, or tetrahydrocannabinol, is the chemical responsible for many of marijuana’s effects. This compound is a cannabinoid found in the resin excreted by glands in the marijuana plant. When inhaled, ingested, or topically applied, THC acts like a neurotransmitter (see Alcohol) and binds to naturally occurring cannabinoid receptors within the brain. THC uses these receptors to activate neurons in unusual ways, creating the effects of euphoria and paranoia associated with marijuana consumption.

Cannabinoid receptors are primarily concentrated in the regions of the brain used for thinking, memory, coordination, pleasure, and time perception. THC thus effects the how the brain processes each of these functions. In particular, the hippocampus, where information processing occurs, is affected. This is where new memories are formed, meaning THC inhibits the formation and recollection of memories. Cannabinoid receptors in the cerebellum also effect coordination, while receptors in the basal ganglia interfere with unconscious muscle movement. Other effects of THC include hallucinations, delusions, changes in thinking, and most famously, the release of dopamine, which causes euphoria. http://www.csatc.org/cellularbiology.html. http://www.livescience.com/24553-what-is-thc.html. http://science.howstuffworks.com/marijuana3.htm.

FEATURE 16

Sleep Although there is limited understanding for how sleep effects the brain, we do know that sleep serves the twofold purpose of restoring damaged neurons and clearing metabolic waste in the brain. During sleep, cerebral spinal fluid floods through the brain, washing away metabolic waste while neurons are repaired. When these processes do not occur the brain functions at sub-standard levels. Studies have shown that there is reduced blood flow to the frontal lobes in sleep deprived brains, reducing the ability to make executive judgments and pay attention to things such as driving a car. Furthermore, the cerebral cortex, which is the language and communications center of the brain, cannot function with minimal sleep. Instead, activity in other portions of the brain must compensate for the cerebral cortex, leading to slurred speech and simplistic phrasing.

Sources: http://news.discovery.com/human/health/lack-of-sleep-what-it-does-to-your-brain-131205.htm.

http://www.sri.com/newsroom/press-releases/specific-changes-brain-associated-sleep deprivation-described-new-study-alle.

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/brain_basics/understanding_sleep.htm.

Cerebellum: The cerebellum is responsible for maintaining one’s center of balance. Alcohol affects this process, causing the drunken swagger commonly associated with alcohol consumption.

Medulla: This part of the brain is responsible for automatic functions like breathing and body temperature. Alcohol causes the medulla to induce sleepiness, slow breathing, and lower body temperature. These effects can be life threatening.

Multi-Tasking We use the prefrontal cortex to focus on performing a task or completing a goal. Spanning both the left and right brain, the prefrontal cortex helps motivate by focusing attention and coordinating messages with the rest of the brain. When performing one task, both sides of the brain work to perform the task. Performing two tasks, however, splits the brain into right and left sides. Furthermore, performing a third task triples the risk of making mistakes because there is not a third portion of the brain.

Texting while driving is a particularly dangerous form of multitasking. Although it might seem like these tasks would only require the available two parts of the brain, both texting and driving require that our attention be split between the various components of each. For example, texting requires visual, manual, and cognitive brain function to perform the tasks of reading, typing, and composing text messages. Switching between these tasks delays the brain’s reaction time, reducing its ability to respond to stimulus such as break lights.

Sources: http://www.brainfacts.org/sensing-thinking-behaving/awareness-and-attention/articles/2013/

the-multitasking-mind/.

http://news.sciencemag.org/2010/04/multitasking-splits-brain.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/12/091222121949.htm.

Cerebral Cortex: The first part of your brain effected by alcohol is the cerebral cortex, which controls thought processing and consciousness. Alcohol causes the cerebral cortex to slow down sensory processes while also depressing behavioral inhibitions. This means that a driver will not only have reduced reaction times and sensory input, but also their ability to gauge their level of inebriation will be inhibited.

Hypothalamus & Pituitary Gland: Together, these parts of the brain are responsible for coordinating automatic brain function, as well as hormone release. Alcohol can disrupt the release of hormones, which among other things is responsible for decreased sexual performance.

FEATURE 17

panning tion and th sides rain into mistakes

it might h texting ach. For he tasks elays the

Distracted Driving

Drowsy Driving

Washington: Since 2010, there is a $124 fine for using a cell phone while driving, but the violation is not placed on the driver’s record or reported to their insurance company.

Washington: In 1997, SB 5302 was introduced to create the crime of “sleeping driver homicide,” a gross misdemeanor. The bill was referred to the Senate Law & Justice Committee, but was never passed.

Oregon: In 2010, the use of hand-held communication devices while driving was enacted. A bill was filed in 2013 to double the fine from $250 to $500.

Oregon: In 2011, HB 2749 created various offenses related to drowsy driving — from a $360 fine for drowsy driving to criminal driving while driving, with a $375,000 fine and 20 years imprisonment. The bill has been in the House Committee on the Judiciary since then.

California: Cell phone use has been illegal since 2009. The first violation incurs a $76 fine, the second a $190. Texting while driving carries a $20 fine for the first offense, with $50 fines for following infractions.

California: In 2005, April 6 was designated as “Drowsy Driver Awareness Day.”

Idaho: Talking on cell phones is not prohibited, but texting has been illegal ($81 fine) since 2012.

Idaho: Idaho has no drowsy driving laws.

Arkansas and New Jersey: The only states with active drowsy driving laws.

es/2013/

Alaska: Texting and driving will cost you up to $10,000 and a year in prison.

Marijuana and Driving: THC stays in the system — treated the same as a DUI.

ALCOHOL AND DRIVING** WASHINGTON

OREGON

CALIFORNIA

IDAHO

Blood Alcohol Content (BAC)

.08

.08

.08

.08

Lookback*

7 years

10 years

10 years

10 years

1st Fine

$865–5000

$1000–2000

$1400–2600

<$1000

1st Jail

24 hrs–1 year

48 hrs–1 year

10 years

10 years

1st Suspension

90 days–1 year

1 year

30 days–10 months

90–180 days

2nd Fine

$1120–5000

$2000–10,000

$1800–2800

<$2000

2nd Jail

30 days–1 year

<1 year

10 days–1 year

10 days–1 year

2nd Suspension

2 years–900 days

3 years

2 years

1 year

3rd Fine

$1970–5000

$2000–10,000

$1800–18,000

<$5000

3rd Jail

90 days–1 year

<5 years

120 days–1 year

30 days–5 years

3rd Suspension

3–4 years

Permanent

3 years

1–5 years

*How long it remains on your record. **DUIs can be given for operating any motorized vehicle, from wheelchairs to golf carts. However, most DUI laws do not cover riding a horse while intoxicated.

LIFE

CULTUR E| 18 CULTURE

bumpin’ beats

Boko Haram // TimOTHy barbosa

Culture Editor

“Seventeen Years” Ratatat

“Treasures” Seasick Steve

This week, I report to you about a tragedy of our world. Recently, nearly 300 schoolgirls were kidnapped by the Nigerian insurgent group Boko Haram. President Obama called the group “one of the worst regional or local terrorist organizations.”

Boko Haram means “Western learning is forbidden” and aims to make Nigeria an Islamic state. Many governmental, economic, and societal issues resulted in the formation of Boko Haram, which does not abide by true Islamic teachings. Young men primarily join the group due to poverty and influence from extremists. The group, which does not discriminate between victimizing Christians or Muslims, has targeted Western interests in Nigeria. Though they started by attacking the Nigerian government, they have shifted their attention to civilians.

In a video message, a Boko Haram leader officially took responsibility for the kidnapping of the 276 girls and stated that members of his group would sell them

as slaves or marry girls as young as 9. The Nigerian government has recognized Boko Haram as a terrorist cell since 2013 and has since then issued Joint Task Forces composed of police, soldiers, and agents of state security to combat the insurgent group. Due to the limitations of the government, vigilante groups have sprouted up throughout Nigeria, leading to over half of the violent deaths in northeastern Nigeria. Though effective, vigilante groups have been accused of violating many human rights.

As recently as May 20, Boko Haram has been escalating attacks, using two car bombs in a bus terminal to kill at least 118 and wound many more. Though the group did not officially assume responsibility, the attack resembles two of their previous attacks that led to the death of more than 145 civilians.

Protestors have taken to the streets in Washington outside of the Nigerian embassy to evoke action from the U.S. government.

Currently, officials have stated that they will lend military and law enforcement to find the missing girls, but more extensive action is being sought out by congressmen and citizens alike.

aswwu video “Take Five” Atlantic Five Jazz Band

vimeo.com/aswwu

upcoming events The Justin Wayne Show Live Main Street Studios May 22, 7–10 p.m.

Admission — $12 at the door

Join featured songwriters and performers recorded live for this special live recording. Prepare to be an enthusiastic audience member!

Only 75 seats available.

Steel Magnolias Harper Joy Theatre

May 23–24 Student Admission — $8 Set in a Louisiana beauty parlor, follow a story of female friendship that stretches from comedy to heartbreak.

Find out more about the play and show times at www.whitman.edu/hjt/.

Nunsense Little Theatre of Walla Walla May 23–June 14 Admission — $14

Nunsense is a hysterical musical about five nuns who seek to raise money to bury several of their sisters who were poisoned by Sister Julia’s cuisine. They settle on a variety show and leave you with a constant need to laugh. Learn more about the play and show times at www.ltww.org.

Cuéntame Coyote Gesa Power House Theatre May 24, 7:30 p.m.

Student Admission — $9

“Clubbed to Death” Rob Dougan (Kurayamino Remix)

What would you say if you could go back in time and speak to your Junior High self?

Thursdays at 9:37 p.m.

Shakespeare Walla Walla presents Teatro Milagro’s bilingual production about two cousins who long for a better future beyond the fence and flee with a pack of coyotes. The play was developed after extensive research about sacred stories and migrant tales about the difficulties of the desert. Learn more about the paly and show times at www.phtww.com.

LIFE

FOOD | 19 photos by andrea johnson

Here it is — part two of summer food: my grand finale! Last week we had curried potato salad and sweet potato fries; this week, we’re topping it off with easy burger buns and black bean sweet potato patties. The buns are really soft and fluffy and could conceivably double as a dinner roll. And the patties are really open to interpretation depending on how you spice them, but my version pairs really well with last week’s recipes.

Might I also suggest sun tea and yogurt popsicles to round out your meal?1 Happy eatings!

1. http://collegian.wallawalla.edu/beat-the-heat/.

#WWUFOOD

The competition was fierce this week for #wwufood. I saw cakes, pies, pierogi, handrolled enchiladas, and more. But I could not get over Rachel Logan’s “Sunshine-Sweet Lemon Blueberry Cake” and Gabby Smith’s “Strawberry Cloud Pie.” Take a look for yourself. Enjoy your free drinks at The Atlas!

Thank you to everyone who entered this quarter; we should have a potluck. photo by rachel logan

Andrea Johnson Food Editor

EASY BURGER BUNS

part TWO

sweet potato patties INGREDIENTS - 2 large sweet potatoes, peeled and chopped into 2-inch chunks - ½ cup cooked black beans - ¼ cup cooked quinoa - ¼ cup breadcrumbs (opt.)

- 2 tsp. cumin - 2 tsp. curry powder - Cayenne to taste (opt.)

- Salt and pepper to taste - Oil for frying

Boil sweet potato chunks until cooked through.

Drain thoroughly and transfer to a large bowl. Mash potatoes until they are smooth in consistency. Add beans and mash roughly. Add remaining ingredients and mix thoroughly. Taste and adjust spices if necessary. Make patties according to bun size. Lightly oil a large frying pan and fry patties over medium heat until browned. Flip and repeat.

photo by gabby smith

The Food Fiend presents

Summer Food

black bean and

INGREDIENTS - 2 tbsp. active dry yeast - 1 cup warm water (110-115° F) - ¹⁄3 cup oil - 2 tbsp. sugar - 1 egg - 1 tsp. salt - 3 ½–4 cups all-purpose flour

In a large bowl, dissolve yeast in warm water. Add oil and sugar; let stand for 5 minutes. Add the egg, salt, and enough flour to form a soft dough. On a floured surface, knead until smooth and elastic, about 3–5 minutes. Divide and shape pieces into balls. For size, keep in mind that they will rise a bit.

Place 3 in. apart on greased baking sheets. Cover and let rest for 10 minutes. Preheat oven to 425°F while the buns rise. Bake for 8–12 minutes or until golden brown. Remove from pans to wire racks to cool. Yield depends on size of buns.

LIFE SCIENCE | 20

Everest Zipline //

Hello friends! The year is wrapping up — this is actually my last article! It’s been a really great ride; you’ve sent in some awesome questions and I have really enjoyed answering them. I’ve worked quite a few jobs over the years, but this has definitely been one of my favorites. I mean, where else do you get to design trampolines to launch people into space, break the sound barrier with squirrels, and obliterate entire nations with a super-sonic Santa? Also, I get paid to draw dinosaurs. Just saying.

So this week’s suggestion is a great one: “Zipline off Everest.”

— Justin Hansen

I love mountains. If you don’t know this, you haven’t been around me for very long or seen any recent pictures of me. I also love super dangerous and absurd things that go very fast, so this is a winning combination.

Everest is big. At 29,029 feet, it is the farthest from sea level that you can get and still have your feet on the ground. It was first climbed relatively recently, in 1953, by the famous duo Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay.

The stunt was so daring that no one else tried it for three years. This hesitancy is not out of place; Everest has claimed many lives. Although it is nowhere near the most dangerous mountain, it is the most famous. Because of the high altitude, the atmosphere at the top is so thin that it’s equivalent to having 0.6 lungs instead of two.

To plan our zipline, we should first look at a map of Everest. The picture to the right is the view from the southwest and shows the safer of the two routes.

Notice the dividing line between China and Nepal, as well as some of the elevations.

The other, more dangerous route is on the north side. It is much more dangerous because it is much steeper. While this is bad for climbers trying to climb up, it provides an excellent opportunity for those of us looking to ride down. We will get the best drop if we anchor at the top and drop down off the north side and land at advanced base camp (21,300'). This gets us a vertical drop of about 7,700 feet — way taller than anything we’ve ever made before. The current world record in zipline length goes to the Z2000 in South Africa. To ride this zipline, you have to hang like superman and have a fin strapped between your feet to keep you on course. The record for speed is 93 mph.

The total length of this zipline is 6,500 feet. Sadly for them, we have more than that just going straight down.

To get to the bottom, we will have to travel about 8,000 feet horizontally.

This gives us a total length of more than two miles, dwarfing any zipline that dare compete. So now, the question we’ve all been waiting for: How fast are you going? The current world record for max skydiving speed is held by Marco Wiederkehr and was set only last year. He was going a smidge over 330 mph. The reason it’s hard to go fast is that wind resistance slows you down as you fall.

Let’s forget about all that and just plug in the numbers. When we get to the bottom, we will be clocking in at a grand total of 480 mph!

This is way faster than the fastest production

car, but sadly a touch slower than the land speed record (763 mph). To be fair, this was set by a monstrously awesome device that runs on two fighter jet engines, looks like the Batmobile, and was “driven” by the Royal Air Force. So 480 mph is fast, but ...

What if we want to go faster?

While Everest is big, it’s actually small in total elevation gain.

Because Everest is in the Himalayas, the base is at 17,000 feet. But we can do better. Mt. Kilimanjaro in Tanzania has one of the largest elevation gains and is the world’s largest volcano. From bottom to top, you gain 16,700 feet. If we zipline down this bad boy, we’ll be booking a properly quick 706 mph, almost faster than that fighter jet car. So 706 mph is fast, but ...

What if we want to go faster? In Alaska, there is a very big mountain called Mt. McKinley. It’s the tallest mountain in North America, at a lofty height of just over 20,000 feet.

More impressively, if you want to

Joe Hughes

Science & Tech Editor climb it, you have to gain 18,320 feet, which is commonly referred to by scientists and mountaineers as “a lot.” If we managed to rig a zipline all the way to the bottom, we would a l low s o m e mountaineers to go down the mountain really quickly.

And some people want to go down really quickly, so it’s good to give them that option. Not only would we make many a climber’s day, but we would do it at a whopping 740 mph! Dang it! drawings by joe hughes Still haven’t caught that car. So 740 mph is fast, but ...

What if we want to go faster? The tallest mountain on planet earth, if you measure from the actual bottom, is Mauna Kea in Hawaii. Although it only rises a measly 13,700 feet above sea level, the mountain actually starts 18,300 feet below the water. If we pull a Moses-esque feat of engineering and rig up the biggest zipline ever we’ll be going ... 978 mph! HA! Finally beat that stupid Batmobile.

So 978 mph is pretty fast, but ...

What if we want to go faster? Olympus Mons is the tallest mountain in the solar system.

It sits a towering 66,500 feet above the Martian plains, and is the largest volcano in the solar system. It’s about as big as it gets. If we put in the right numbers for Martian gravity, we get ... 886 mph. Well that was a bit of a letdown. Mars has less gravity pulling you down, which means that even though you climbed twice as high, you will actually be going slower when you get to the bottom.

Huh. Well, I guess that means that Earth is a pretty rocking place to be!

LIFE SPORTS | 21

The Best of Times, The Worst of Times // Grayson Andregg Sports Editor The time has come. Well, the time has almost come for long tests, long flights, long drives, and longer days as we approach a thing of beauty: summer. But before we embark on our long journeys back home, we must endure finals with one of the biggest distractions known to man: The Playoffs. Not just one though: playoffs of hockey and basketball alike. It’s a cruel joke played on us every year by the sporting world to put some of the most historic and entertaining sports games during one of the most important periods of our lives. As playoffs arrive, we come to the end of another school year, and of another Collegian year. I’ve had an enormous amount of fun writing for this organization and I’m sad to be writing my last article for them and for you who

read the stuff I put out there. Endings are not always fun things, and I don’t consider this one to be fun. Thank you, readers.

Spurs, Heat, and Pacers were all included in the top five teams at the start of the 2013– 14 season. Who would have guessed that it would come down to those four at the end?

Back in October the NBA season started, These teams have shown that they have and everyone always has high hopes for the talent, heart, and experience for what it whatever their team can accomplish in the takes to be ttop contenders, and the sprint to photo from sports . yahoo . com the finish should be a classic.

Games will be playing all week in the boys’ dorm lobby and in the SAC, I’m sure you won’t be disappointed if you happen to catch one.

season to come. In the week-one power rankings for all NBA teams, the Thunder,

As for the NHL, it’s the Blackhawks, K i n g s , Rangers, and C a n a di en s that are the last standing.

Two years ago, the LA

SUMMER SMARTS June 23–August 29

Ask about our Summer Advantage 40% tuition discount for new students!

Kings became the first 8-seeded playoff team to make and win the Stanley Cup Finals.

After having an average season, they were able to come through in the clutch and have been contenders ever since. They face off again against the defending champion Blackhawks in the Western conference finals, while the hard-fought Canadiens are already down 2–0 in the series against the NY Rangers. Both series will most likely be

photo from spokeo . com

played on the lobby or SAC TVs as well.

It was a historic year for Walla Walla this year — Wolves basketball had its most successful year yet and there’s no stopping anytime soon. This school’s athletic program is on the verge of a major breakthrough, and it’s going to be very exciting to watch. For now, we can sit back and relax. But if you really need to get your sports fix, the soccer team practices every Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday evenings. Otherwise, come out and cheer on your friends as they play in their respective intramural games and maybe join in on the action.

Again, this year has been surreal. I hope we all can continue to support the up-andcoming athletic department of WWU, as well as all local, national, and international sports all over the world. It can be one of the most fun things in life. Go Wolves!

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Short sessions available Courses run from 1–10 weeks

summer.wallawalla.edu | (866) 441-2395

LIFE TRAVEL | 22

It’s difficult to put into words the experience of travel. Adjectives such as incredible, beautiful, adventurous, or the classic “it was good” pop into mind while describing our most recent adventures. But experiencing the world through travel is so much more than an adjective.

Our experiences, stories, and revelations should be expressed by the way we live our lives.

Travel is one of the most i m p or t a nt and best ways we can impact our lives and those of the individuals we meet. It shapes both who we are photo by jon mack and our understanding of culture.

Almost a year ago, I returned from spending a year in Sagunto, Spain, as an ACA student. I left new friends, familiar cities, delicious foods, and a wonderful culture behind.

As soon as I returned, I felt bombarded by questions about how my experience was and

photo by david mack

Travel Editor whether or not I was fluent in Spanish, as if it were some quantifiable skill.

No one asked questions about the life I had just left behind, the people I’d grown to love, or how it had affected me as a person.

Travel impacts our lives in ways that we can’t fathom until we’ve experienced it for ourselves. Travel illuminates altered schedules of life, new ways of worship, new sports, authentic foods, and difficult languages that form the foundation of unfamiliar cultures.

Recognizing that people may live differently from how you live is probably not a difficult concept to grasp, but it becomes difficult when the realization hits that your life is probably going to change because of it, but growth is good.

Growth is why we travel, isn’t it? It may be disguised by our desires to try new ethnic foods or visit the wonders the world has to offer, but that’s growth: exploring and making someone else’s normal your new. Growth takes place when ordinary people try something extraordinary.

I believe it is our responsibility as world explorers to turn our experiences into others’ inspiration.

DESTINATION OF THE WEEK:

CAPRI, ITALY

photo from flipperviaggi . com

Located in the Gulf of Naples, the small island of Capri is overflowing with picturesque villas, quaint churches, Mediterranean food, gorgeous sunsets, and stunning beaches. This pedestrianfriendly European destination would be perfect for a summertime getaway.

During this academic year, I have had the privilege of writing for a fantastic c o l l eg i at e paper.

I hope I have written articles that have inspired you to travel and share your photo by heidi spady experiences with others. Don’t let your passion for the world and exploring it fade. The world is calling us; let’s answer the call.

Go, and fly on.

photo of the week Here are some of my favorite travel photos of the year! Thanks to everyone who contributed! photo by instagram user gfp6302

Fly On //

Jon Mack

photo by instagram user sprack_city

photo by instagram user oticramo

photo by shelby seibold

item of the

week

An Open Mind Many who travel do so searching for the experience they had in mind, but those who find the most fulfillment while traveling are those who leave with the hope to return changed.

photo by instagram user swhite436

LIFE OUTDOORS | 23

less left undone // Justin mock Health & Outdoors Editor While writing my final article of the year, it dawned on me how quickly we move through time. I am now finishing my third year of college and only have two more years before I graduate and the next chapter in my life begins. It also dawned on me that I have had so many experiences during my years here, and I don’t regret any of them.

My only regrets are the things that I haven’t done and the experiences I didn’t have. For instance, despite the fact that I love the outdoors, I realize now that I don’t get out as much as I want. I have been here a couple of years and there are still so many outdoor adventures left waiting.

written by a plumbing contractor named Rueben Anderson. President Truman liked the poem so much that he read it out loud.

“Every man’s a wouldbe sportsman, in the dreams of his intent, A potential out-ofdoors man when his thoughts are pleasure bent.

But he mostly puts the idea off, for the things that must be done, And doesn’t get his outing till his outing days are gone.

So in hurry, scurry, worry, work, his living days are spent,

photo by austin mock

A couple months ago, I got an email And he does his final camping in a low from my uncle. photo from blog.nicolasdelort.com green tent.”

In this email, Reading this story and poem he mentioned that my uncle shared with me the Outdoors made me think about all the article that I great experiences I have had had written that over these past years at school, week, as well as well as others I let pass me as some of his by. I now realize that, although own childhood I have dreams and intentions experiences with of having certain outdoor the outdoors. adventures, these intentions My uncle then won’t come to pass on their told me that own or just by chance. as life goes on, it becomes The Choice: Water photo by crossfitengineered . com more and more Slide or Canoe difficult to make Sometimes, I fall into these outdoor thinking that life is like a water adventures slide, and in some ways it is. happen. Time It is exciting, with twists and keeps moving and life gets busy. He then shared with me a story to help illustrate that point.

The Story In the 1940s, President Harry Truman was in office during the restoration of the White House, which was being completely remodeled on the inside. One day, Truman went to visit the engineer in charge of the renovation process, whose office was set up inside a temporary building on the White House lawn. When Truman entered the office he saw a poem on the wall that was

turns and unexpected events. The problem with this way of thinking is that, if life is a waterslide, I, the rider, have no say in where the slide takes me, nor am I able to change the way in which I reach that destination. If I see life as a waterslide, then I simply end up somewhere. I have no power to change or to truly strive for anything.

However, if I change the way I think and see life as a trip in a canoe, things change. It is still exciting, there are still things outside of my control, and I could be pushed off course, but ultimately, I decide where I point the boat and what horizon I aim for.

When I think this way, all of the sudden, the responsibility is in my hands. I have the power to choose.

Thinking back to the dreams I have of outdoor adventures, if I believe life is a waterslide, those adventures may or may not happen. It’s not photo by austin mock up to me. It just depends on whether or not those adventures already lie along the slide’s path. On the other hand, if I believe life is like a trip in a canoe, then I can point my boat in the direction of those outdoor adventures and paddle towards them.

photo from whudat.de

This idea applies to more areas of life than just outdoor adventures and world travel. It also applies to getting in shape, changing bad habits, healing relationships, deciding to be happy, and determining a career. It depends on how I view myself. Am I a victim with no control, careening down the water slide of life, or am I in a canoe with the ability to paddle my hardest in the direction I choose to go?

Less Left Undone I know time will keep moving, that life will always be busy, and my plans won’t just happen on their own. However, if I decide to live life like I have a paddle, I can begin to leave less undone. I can’t do everything, but I hope to make my outdoor adventure dreams a priority so that I don’t “put the idea off, for the things that must be done.” After all, I would rather work towards something and have it fall through than pass up an experience all together.

I don’t know if you feel like you are in control of your life or if you know the direction in which you are headed. However, remember this, we don’t need to simply “end up” anywhere. Each of us has the power to choose.

So, whatever your adventure is, I dare you to point your canoe in that direction and start paddling.

Outdoors Editor's Pick

In thinking about making our dreams a reality, I would like to share one of my favorite short videos: “A Story for Tomorrow”

by Gnarly Bay This short has some incredible nature shots as well as a beautiful message about how we choose to use our time.

I hope you enjoy it.

back

word

The Sweetest goodbye // Goodbyes suck, so I’m not going to talk about them. I’m not going to remind you that this is my very last issue as BackWord editor and that after this article, I will be saying adieu to The Collegian. I won’t take this moment to talk about the definition of “goodbye” that I found on UrbanDictionary.com (which was hilarious: “Goodbye. Something AOL users hear a lot.

Welcome! You’ve got mai-Goodbye!”) or how I entitled this document on my computer: “Last article ever, waaaaaah!” Instead, I will be executing an Irish goodbye, which is the act of sneaking out the backdoor of a social event without saying goodbye to anybody, mostly because you don’t want to deal with the judgey eyes of those who think you’re lame for leaving early. I’m sneaking out, Walla Walla, but before I leave you in the very capable hands of Carly Yaeger, I will gift you with one last ranting list of things I think are important but never had enough time to write an article about.

So to my dear friends in Portland, Montana, and College Place; to alumni; to the random Patisserie reader, here’s my Oprah-esque list of final things for you to remember: 1) Be kind. Everyone deserves kindness.

Everyone wants kindness. There is no exception. So give it out — it’s free.

2) Don’t make sarcastic comments about alcoholism, eating disorders, bipolar disorders, or any other mental illness. You have no idea who of your friends are struggling with these diseases or have family members dealing with them. Whether or not they say something to you, you will forever look insensitive in their eyes.

3) Facebook is not a platform for changing people’s minds about anything. While a thoughtful post might spark someone’s

verbatim

“It walks like a good thesis, it quacks like a good thesis, but this is NOT a good thesis!”

— Beverly Beem

“So far this year, I'm Verbatim free! Not too shabby!”

— Paddy McCoy (Nice Try.)

“Don Riley doesn't need any Mountain Dew. He's already permanently caffeinated.”

— Curt Nelson

“Dang, that sucks. The Biggest Loser just emailed me.”

— Ali Reiner

“I used to think people around here were a bunch of A-holes ... Don't worry, by A-holes, I mean Adventist-holes.”

— Rusty Koll

Have something funny to report?

Email Carly.Yaeger@wallawalla.edu

Rachel

Logan BackWord Editor

interest in an idea they’ve never heard of, I have yet to seen a pro-gun or anti-gun post convince anybody to switch to the other camp. Be more creative with your postings.

4) Please don’t text and drive. I’m on the road too, and I don’t want to die because of your reckless decision. It’s as simple as that.

5) Do something you love. You will likely spend more of your life at work than with your family. Remember that as you choose a career path.

6) Just because someone wants to do something differently than you doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Period.

7) Make time for your family; just like everybody else on this Earth, they can be taken in an instant. Pick up the phone and dial.

If you could meet anyone, past or present, who would it be?

“John Wayne, because he's John Wayne!”

— Cody Hayden, junior, health science/pre-dent

“Princess Diana, because she was such an inspiration.

She was classy and a humanitarian.”

— Elizabeth Boe, junior, elementary education

“Johnny Depp, because I love him as an actor.”

— Ellen Bruso, junior, English

“Michelle Skoretz, because she’s a dream come true.”

— Habacuc Jara, graduating senior, business/history

8) Surround yourself with people who inspire you. We begin to act like the people we spend our time with, so choose wisely.

9) Give up your grudges. They only make you madder and give you wrinkles.

And finally, I will end with one of my favorite quotes of all time, by Thomas S. Monson: 10) “Don’t save something for a special occasion. Every day of your life is a special occasion.” Wear the dress. Eat the chocolate.

Take the trip. Say the words.

Much love to you all. Thanks for reading with me.

Confession To the person who plays the piano in Meske at two in the morning: I don't know who you are, but I love you!

Sincerely, Your Tune is Written on My Heart