SENIOR LIVING Families Struggle to Connect With Isolated Elders patients are accepting of their own mortal- tion that is prone to isolation anyway, but advocate becomes more challenging. Both my phone has been ringing off the hook,” Kriseman and Rudisch suggest that families ity.” establish relationships with specific staff Retired Atlanta attorney Cindy Smith He pointed to patients in their 70s and she said. misses her best friend. Nancy Kriseman, a licensed clinical so- members at those centers with whom they 80s who have lost both parents, a spouse Smith hasn’t seen her 94-year-old fa- and their siblings and “the idea of death isn’t cial worker who specializes in working with can check in regularly. If a family member has a concern with ther, Morton, in more than a week. She so anxiety provoking. One patient of mine older people and their families, suggests lives near Emory. Her father lives in The realized that she survived those deaths and that there could be an increase in suicides the facility itself, as in normal times, they can Piedmont in Buckhead, a senior living com- she understands that her family will be able among the elderly as a result of the coro- call the Georgia Office of the State Long-Term munity. to make it without her. While this realiza- navirus pandemic. “I could see passive sui- Care Ombudsman at 1-866-552-4464, then Morton is doing fine. He’s healthy tion is on some level sad to her, it has also cides, in which the person gives up,” Krise- choose option 5. Because of the coronavirus, Ombudsman Melanie McNeil told the AJT and Smith says there are no reports of any reduced her anxiety.” man said. that instead of their regcoronavirus cases in her That’s why she On the other hand, ular quarterly visits to father’s building. But evhe sees some younger thinks it’s imperative long-term care facilities, ery Thursday Smith and patients who are at less for families to reach out her office’s representaher father used to attend risk of dying from coro- to their elderly family tives are calling them the symphony. “We were navirus and “they’re members in very specific once every two weeks to symphony partners,” very anxious about it. In ways. Author of “Meancheck on them. she said. “He was my many cases, it is related ingful Connections: PosiAnother piece of Scrabble partner, too. to their personal life his- tive Ways To Be Together advice for family memWe miss that.” She’s not tories and pre-existing When A Loved One Has bers is to discourage allowed to even visit Kriseman emotional conflicts. If Dementia,” the elderly from watchhim. “I thought we could one has a deep sense of understands that it’s ing the news all day. take walks together, emotional damage or a challenging sometimes “People can forget and but he’s being discourprior history of trauma, to have daily phone not forget” what they’re aged from seeing other this may translate into a call with elderly family hearing, Rudisch states, people.” greater sense of physical members. referring specifically to Many Atlanta Jew“What do I say vulnerability and fragilNancy Kriseman, LCSW, advises This could be an opportunity family members to send cards or boxes those with some level ish families with elderly when I call every day? ity in the face of the very for growth and affirmation, containing “reminiscing activities” of dementia. “Maybe members living in seLet’s say a prayer toreal threat of COVID 19,” suggests Dr. Bruce Rudisch. to their elderly family members. they lose articulate vernior living facilities are gether, or let’s talk about said Rudisch. experiencing similar heart-wrenching sepaSome of Rudisch’s patients are con- a favorite time we had together,” she said. bal memory, but not emotional memory of rations. fined to their rooms, similar to Morton “Remind them by showing pictures of fam- what they are exposed to on the news. Some Many of Dr. Bruce Rudisch’s patients Smith -- not one of his patients -- where The ily members on video or talk about recipes. might imagine that a parent doesn’t remember bad news, but they can be taking it in are medically unwell. In one case he de- Piedmont at Buckhead is delivering food Each call can focus on a different subject.” scribed a patient’s son who is unable to visit three times a day as well as puzzles to the If the elderly person has cognitive is- emotionally and unconsciously.” One thing that is helpful for family his elderly mother. “She’s anxious and her residents. Rather than in-person meetings sues, he or she may worry about the family. son feels very guilty that he can’t help her,” with his patients, 90 percent of Rudisch’s “Tell them what we’re doing to take care of members, Rudisch says, “is to help normalsaid the trained geriatric psychiatrist. “It consultations are via video conference. The ourselves, so we can take care of you,” she ize the feelings someone is having. Acwould be a comfort to be with her and hold remaining 10 percent are on the telephone. suggests. She also advises family members knowledge what they’re feeling. Acknowlher hand, but he can’t now. He told me that “The American Psychiatric Association, the to send cards or “grab-and-go” boxes in edgement and validation can help to reduce ‘my mother helped me all my life and now I mental health community and Medicare which family members can send objects anxiety. For a family member who cannot can’t help her.’” have come together around supporting tele- that represent the elderly person’s favorite be in physical contact with an isolated According to Rudisch, social isolation health,” he said. hobbies, like garden- loved one such as an elderly parent, feeling and loneliness among the elderly are real ing. To one client who guilty is a natural response and can even be Dr. Melissa problems, even without the coronavirus Black, a geriatrician was a mechanic, she thought of as a measure of their love. It is a pandemic. “People who suffer from social who provides direct sent little tools. Anoth- sign of healthy attachment.” He points out that crises like this panisolation are at greater risk of illnesses. I primary care, also er client liked birds, so worry about the elderly particularly, al- provides “video visshe bought a book that demic, for some, can have a positive side. “It though I worry less if they are coupled or its,” or consultations plays bird songs. Krise- can be an opportunity for growth and affirhave close family members to support them over the telephone, man calls these “remi- mation for some. One way to cope with this is to reach out and help someone, perhaps either by phone or video.” niscing activities.” but sometimes she In general, Rudisch is seeing a whole still needs to visit inFamily members in the community. Helping someone else is spectrum of responses to the coronavirus person to take bloodwith elderly in con- often the best anecdote to the natural feelthat has shut people into their homes and work or provide a gregate living centers ings of helplessness that many are feeling in has essentially deprived them of their nor- physical exam. – which can include in- response to COVID 19.” Apparently, Morton Smith intuitively mal social interactions. “It is important to dependent living, nursDirect primary Morton Smith and his daughter, note that the responses don’t necessarily care, Black explains, ing homes and assisted understood this. Responsible for the emCindy, were symphony and Scrabble correlate with an individual’s objective risk is independent of living – are generally ployee holiday gift fund at The Piedmont, partners before coronavirus. of death should they contract the coronavi- any insurance with the eyes and ears who his daughter told the AJT that he just initirus. Some elderly who are at high risk are patients paying a monthly fee. The average alert staff if their loved ones are having is- ated a collection to help employees who are particularly less anxious about the illness age of her patients is 75 to 80, although the sues. When these family members can’t providing care to residents under the curthan one might expect. In some cases, older range is 65 to 105. “This is a patient popula- actually visit their loved one, being their rent stressful conditions. ì By Jan Jaben-Eilon
38 | APRIL 30, 2020 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES
