SIMCHAS

SIMCHAS Zoom Mitzvah

By Roni Robbins

Despite the global health crisis, the Lipson family refused to postpone 12-yearold Rory’s bat mitzvah. While not the destination bat mitzvah originally planned, they got creative to make those attending by Zoom videoconferencing April 6 feel as if they were attending a synagogue service instead of watching a well-dressed family orchestrate the coming-of-age ceremony in their Toco Hills foyer.

“I thought I’d have Jerusalem stone as the backdrop,” said Rory’s Mom, Leslie. Rory’s bat mitzvah was supposed to be in Israel with 18 people. When the Jewish state began restricting visitors, requiring them to be in quarantine for two weeks upon arrival into the country, the Lipsons cancelled those plans. Next, they considered a bat mitzvah on Amelia Island, Fla., where the family had vacationed before. Social distancing rules prevented that from happening either, so they resigned themselves to continue the ceremony in their home – with a little ingenuity.

Postponing the event was not an option, Leslie Lipson said. “Part of it is our religious belief that when it’s the 12th birthday for a girl or 13th for a boy you are a bar or bat mitzvah. Also I wanted to teach our kids that it’s not an obligation or opportunity to put off. We don’t know what the future holds,” she said. “I was sure we could figure out something meaningful.”

The tongue-in-cheek email invitation, alone, was enough to elicit a chuckle from those invited, while it set the mood for the event. “Please wear bright, spring colors. Think of this as the dress code for the event. Please download the Zoom app on the device you plan on using to participate in the service … Think of this step as mapping out the directions to a new synagogue. Please join this Zoom link at around 10:50 a.m. ET. You will be placed into a virtual waiting room until right before 11 a.m. ET. Think of this as getting to the service early enough to get a good seat or find parking.”

There are similar instructions for muting and unmuting (synagogue etiquette), the downloadable guide (siddur), request to take selfies (roving photographer) and use the chat function to leave messages for Rory (signing a guest book or signing board).

What those who tuned into the Zoom ceremony saw was the family of four – Rory, Leslie, Aaron and Karen – dressed in their synagogue finest, at a table with a raised platform flanked by floral arrangements. It was a scene similar to what you might see on the bimah for a traditional bat mitzvah. “We were going for a more formal look, not just FaceTiming on the couch having a bat mitzvah,” Leslie said.

By setting the scene through the The Lipson family set up a makeshift bimah in their foyer flanked by floral arrangements and got dressed up for the occasion. They asked guests attending via Zoom to wear bright, spring colors.

Rabbi Adam Starr of Congregation Ohr HaTorah gave a d’var Torah at the end of the service.

email invitation, not just a 10-minute video, she hoped the guests felt like they were really attending the ceremony. “This is the dress code, parking, getting a siddur, … the goal was to enhance the experience by making it analogous to a synagogue service.”

In addition, the family added a few prayers appropriate for the times about unity, health, hope, doubt and remaining positive during a pandemic. Leslie said she received comments about the Zoom bat mitzvah afterwards that the ceremony was “what the community needed.” And “it changed the outlook on a COVID Monday.”

Unlike a traditional bat mitzvah, the technology allowed a more personal connection with guests. At the end of the service, Rabbi Adam Starr of the family’s synagogogue, Congregation Ohr HaTorah, offered a d’var Torah and guests could give a blessing for Rory.

“I was disappointed at first,” Rory said last week, a few days after the ceremony. “I really wanted to celebrate with family and friends and read from the Torah. It wasn’t the same” having a ceremony in her home, she said. But she felt greatly supported by the more than 200 people who witnessed her reading her Torah portion, while not from the physical Torah. “I really thought it was a meaningful experience,” she said. And she’s looking forward to having a party in 2021 with her friends and family. Of coronavirus, preventing her from experiencing Israel over spring break and having a more traditional bat mitzvah, she said, “It’s pretty disappointing, but we are making the best of it. It still brings me joy to have quality family time and I try to call all my friends twice a day. They are supportive and kind.” ì

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SIMCHA SPOTLIGHT

Happy Birthday

Syd Green

Syd Green recently celebrated her 94th birthday, an age she’s never been before in an age none of us have ever experienced. Fortunately, Green has gotten to know Lynn Podber over the last four years during their pairing through Jewish Family & Career Services’ One Good Deed program. Since 2006, One Good Deed has matched more than 400 older adults with community volunteers. These friendly visitors bring companionship and joy to seniors and help reduce loneliness, help older adults maintain their independence, and remain in their own homes.

Podber couldn’t imagine Green’s 94th birthday without celebrating “together,” so Podber and her daughter, Wendy, delivered a birthday bag to Jewish HomeLife’s The Jewish Tower in Buckhead, dropping off the package outside the entrance for Green. They stood outside the entrance watching Green pick it up – honoring all social distancing rules – and celebrating her birthday!

Jewish HomeLife and JF&CS are both proud partners of AgeWell Atlanta, a collaborative partnership to help older adults and caregivers navigate the aging process. The partnership also includes the Marcus JCC and the Jewish Federation of Greater Atlanta. Together, they provide a continuum of services and support to meet the needs of older adults and their caregivers.

Engagement Announcement

Cohen-Finkelstein

Barry Cohen and Anita Rainwater of Marietta, Ga., Suzanne Merrall of Rochester, N.Y., and Michael and Sharon Finkelstein of Scottsdale, Ariz., announce the engagement of their children Matthew Joshua Cohen and Karin AmyFinkelstein.

Cohen is the grandson of the late Martin and Mildred Cohen of Atlanta, and Lorraine Merrall and the late Seymour Merrrall of Rochester, N.Y.

The future groom graduated from Walton High School in East Cobb. He went on to study at Emory University and graduated with a Bachelor of Science in chemistry with a minor in public health. He earned his dental degree from the Dental College of Georgia and completed a Masters of Dental Science and Orthodontics at University of Rochester Eastman Institute for Oral Health. He works as an orthodontist with his father, Barry Cohen at Cohen Orthodontics in Dunwoody and Smyrna.

Finkelstein is the granddaughter of Jack and Elaine Finkelstein of Garden Grove, Calif., and the late Edward and Clara Shinder of Long Beach, Calif.

The bride-to-be graduated from the University of Arizona with a Bachelor of Arts in Jewish studies and communication and a minor in business. She earned her master’s in elementary education from Arizona State University. She is a financial consultant with Charles Schwab in Sandy Springs.

An October wedding is planned in Atlanta.

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Happy Birthday

Ruth Lewis

RuthLewis recently turned 95 April 18, and her daughters and the staff at the Renaissance on Peachtree, where she and her husband Ken live, found a way for the family to wish her a happy birthday. The staff brought them out onto a second-story balcony. Down below, her three daughters, Judi Schnitzer, Sue Heavlin and Carol Salmons, gathered with two sons-in-law, three of her five grandchildren and five of her great-grandchildren and cheered and serenaded Ruth with “Happy Birthday.”

Ruth and Ken have been married 73 years. Ken turned 96 three days earlier. They moved to the Renaissance a little over a year ago after living in Roswell for 15 years. They moved to Atlanta from Philadelphia to join two daughters, a son-in-law and four of their grandchildren.

OY VEY! HAVE I GOT A PROBLEM...

Dear Rachel, Once upon a time, I was a full-time housewife with a crew of “chickadees” surrounding me. When everyone said “these years” would fly, I didn’t believe them. But somehow, to my incredulity, my little ones are all in school, and I am left wondering how it happened. Shaking my head, I am left on the sidelines with time on my hands, wondering what to do now that I’ve grow n up (sort of). I got married young and moved through my days, content, tending my home and grow ing family. Now I am faced with a dilemma. Suddenly, where my every minute used to be ac counted for, I have gaps of time that stretch out in front of me. During these hours I feel bored and unfulfilled, nudged by a sense of not utilizing my potential. So, how do I know what to do to fill those gaps? Of course, I could go back to school. A degree in the mental health field sounds appealing; I love the idea of social work or psychology. But a part of me balks at that option. The idea of sitting through classes, doing homework, taking tests, … YIKES! It sounds like torture . H ow do kids do that day in and day out? And then, after I graduate, there is … gulp …WORK! Whoever came up with the idea of a wife and mother working out of the house full time? (I would venture that it was either a man or a dissatisfied wife-mother who needed OUT!) If I’m in school or working, what about the events that arise on my kids’ schedules calling for a parent? I want to be present at their plays and “special days” when parents are invited to come. The thought of my children looking into a sea of parents and not seeing me would be devastating – for them and for me. I want to be available as a wife and mother, and I’m con cerned that pursuing a degree and a career would deter me from my primary goal. Any advice?

Signed, At A Crossroads

Dear A.A.C,

I think your aspiration to be there for your husband and children is beautiful and sorely lacking in our modern “ME” era.

But you certainly need to tend to your own needs also. Boredom and a lack of personal satisfaction can lead to depression, creating an unhealthy situation for you and the family you want to tend and nurture.

Since you don’t want to pursue options that would consume too much of your time and energy, thereby detracting from your family, let’s explore some other possibilities.

Would you consider going back to school part-time? Perhaps taking a course or two at a time wouldn’t be overwhelming, enabling you to pursue your personal goals while not detracting from your family.

Would a course in life coaching appeal to you? It is much less time consuming and will give you that one-on-one interaction that you seek. As a life coach, you will have the tools to empower your clients to realize their potential. This can be very rewarding.

If you don’t necessarily need a career, what about filling the gaps with volunteer work? Depending on the niche that suits you, there are children’s hospitals and geriatric facilities, your synagogue, your children’s school. … Volunteers are ALWAYS in high demand and can give so much. Anyone who volunteers in a meaningful way knows that the dividends are inestimable – you receive much more than you give.

Is there a talent or hobby you would like to pursue but have shelved over the years due to family considerations? Do you find time for regular exercise?

Transition periods are challenging. Your life was sailing along in one direction and suddenly, it swerved off course. Now you must navigate a new path.

But new times can be exciting and exhilarating. Think of it as a chance to discover a whole new you – and embrace it!

Wishing you the best, Rachel

Atlanta Jewish Times Advice Column

Got a problem? Email Rachel Stein at oyvey@atljewishtimes.com, describing your problem in 250 words or less. We want to hear from you and get helpful suggestions for your situation at the same time!

Joshua is out shopping when he bumps into his friend Sam outside the jewelry store. Sam has a small gift-wrapped box in his hand. “Hi Sam,” Joshua says, “what have you been buying, may I ask?” “Well, to tell you the truth,” Sam replies, “it’s my Miriam’s 70th birthday tomorrow and when I asked her what she wanted for her birthday, she said, ‘Oh, I’ll leave it up to you, darling, but how about something with lots of diamonds in it?’” “So, tell me already, what did you buy her?” Joshua asks. “I bought her two packs of bridge cards.”

Joke provided by David Minkoff www.awordinyoureye.com

YIDDISH WORD OF THE WEEK

Tummler

טומלער

An entertainer or master of ceremonies, especially one who encourages audience interaction ( טומלער ,tumler, from טומלען , tumlen, "make a racket"; cf. German: (sich) tummeln, "go among people" or "cavort"; OED

Script the Flip

By: Yoni Glatt, koshercrosswords@gmail.com

Difficulty Level: Medium

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LAST ISSUE’S SOLUTION

ACROSS

1. Pre-World Series event, for short 5. "CSI: Miami" actress Eva 10. Created 14. A dollar is almost equal to one 15. Golden and teen follower 16. Longtime Israeli ambassador to Washington 17. What Aaron might have done when Moses smacked a rock? 19. Mount where Moshe died 20. The first O of O-O-O 21. Grammy winner India. 22. Most wearers of phylacteries 23. Show scorn, in a way 25. Hot spots 28. What Joseph may have done when thinking about Esau's pursuit of Jacob? 33. Fan sounds 35. "Red October," for one 36. Inky black, in poetry 37. It merged with Time Warner 38. AMEX listing 40. He held up the arms of Moses 42. AI game competitor 43. Go hunting for 45. ___ in "uncle" 47. What one does in a Yeshiva 49. What Betzalel did regarding a Tabernacle item? 52. Rhoda's sister on "Rhoda" 53. Animated chipmunk 56. Blackens, as ribs 59. Length of the Torah? 61. "Give ___ go!" 62. Dancer-turned-spy Mata 63. What Pharaoh hoped to do after Moses split the sea? 66. A Baldwin 67. Alternative to Dasani or Deer Park 68. Smoker in Sicily? 69. Word before job or calendar 70. Mets outfielder Brandon 71. Rock field: Abbr.

DOWN

1. Natural homes 2. Werewolf teacher of Potter 3. The Ibn Ezra translates "tzefar dea" as not frogs, but these 4. Drunk 5. "Oz" lion Bert 6. Bias against seniors 7. Fixes, as leftovers 8. Israeli mentalist Geller 9. Ballpark figure, briefly 10. Older son of Yosef 11. Biblical homicide victim 12. 1993 film in which Kevin Kline played the president 13. Seth's first son 18. Home fries, slangily 22. Steve Jobs computer 24. Basic learning, for short 26. Informal turndown 27. Adopted daughter of Thanos 29. Cunning 30. Shorten a crossword clue 31. Possible answer to "When?" 32. Large creatures that saved some Hobbits 33. "What ___ saying?" 34. Tilling tools 39. "Blazing Saddles" actress Madeline 41. Car dealer's incentive 44. "Spartacus" director 46. American Jews have two of them 48. Total 50. Settings of some TV dramas 51. Manischewitz hexagon 54. "___ big deal" 55. Sounding like one has a cold, say 56. ___ Gadya 57. Hearty's companion 58. Longtime enemy of Wonder Woman 60. "What have I done?!" 63. Platt of note 64. "X-Men" producer Arad 65. Hat-rack part

B1 A 2 D 3 G 4 E 5 M 6 I 7 M 8 I 9 C 10 H 11 A 12 J 13 A 14 S E A T A 15 N I S E A 16 G O T 17 H E G H O 18 S T A N D I 19 R K H 20 E R A 21 L A S 22 T A N 23 L E E S 24 N I D E 25 R 26 A C E R C 27 A 28 F 29 E M 30 A I L 31 S 32 P 33 A S S C 34 H I N A 35 N 36 O T S 37 E E S 38 I R P 39 L 40 A 41 G U E S S 42 N 43 L 44 S 45 L 46 E E V E N 47 E 48 A R S E 49 S 50 T I M 51 O D I 52 M 53 A 54 R A D L 55 A B E L 56 I 57 N E R 58 T I 59 L L N E S 60 S 61 V 62 I A P 63 U 64 P 65 T 66 A O T 67 H E D 68 A R K N 69 E S S E 70 M O M 71 U T E D E 72 A S E S S 73 I D E 74 L I S E S 75 P O R T

Remember When

15 Years Ago// April 29, 2005

ì A pilot project for non-Jewish mothers raising Jewish children began, called Mothers Circle. The program was a casual drop-in series of free monthly events such as coffee gatherings and movie nights. Alvin Sugarman, The Temple’s rabbi emeritus, served as the group’s spiritual advisor. “I see the group as a sanctuary in which to exchange ideas and experiences,” said LailaBerland, a non-Jewish mother raising Jewish children who attended Temple Emanu-El. ì Adam and HeatherBlank announced the birth of their son, Aaron Samuel, Oct. 20, 2004. A brit milah was performed by Dr. Mark Safra at the Blank home, with Rabbi Mario Karpuj officiating. Aaron was given the Hebrew name Aharon Shlomo in memory of his great-grandparents, Lee and Ann Samuel; great- grandfather, Stanley Weintraub; and great-great-grandfather, AaronFlank.

25 Years Ago// April 28, 1995

ì Students at The Epstein School raised $300 to help the Jewish community in Kobe, Japan, rebuild its synagogue after suffering earthquake damage earlier in the year. Repairs on the synagogue totaled more than $100,000, according to a thank you letter to the school from Rabbi James Lebeau of the Shibuya-Ku, Japan, Jewish community. “Our children need to learn the mitzvah of gemilut chasadim (deeds of loving-kindness) and there can be no better way than to urge them to respond to a tragedy such as the Kobe earthquake,” the rabbi wrote. ì Representatives from the Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society (HIAS) visited Atlanta as part of a national campaign to train local resettlement workers in immigration law and help immigrants complete their naturalization. HIAS and Jewish Family Services coordinated the local project, which attracted about 150 Russians. “It’s beautiful to see these people want to become citizens,” said DaleMillman, coordinator of acculturation programs for the Atlanta Jewish Community Center.

50 Years Ago //May 1, 1970

ì Mr. and Mrs. Arnold Rich and Dr. and Mrs. HerschelIsaacson, all of Atlanta, invited their relatives and friends to attend the b’nai mitzvah of their sons, Alan Rich and Keith Isaacson, May 2 at Ahavath Achim Synagogue. A kiddush followed the service. ì Atlanta’s Mayor SamMassell left for a visit to Israel. He joined about 15 other mayors from throughout the country as guests of the Israeli government, including mayors from Nashville and Houston. While visiting, the mayors spoke with top government and municipal officials and toured historical sites and tension areas. Massell was accompanied on the trip by his wife. ì

Sam Massell joined about 15 other mayors from the U.S. on a visit to Israel.

NEW MOON MEDITATIONS Iyar: Walking the Path Toward Holiness

Rosh Chodesh Iyar spans two days, April 24-25. The acronym for Iyar is alef-yud-resh, “I am G-d your healer,” from the book of Exodus 15:26. This is Divine timing to be reminded that we are not alone. During the pandemic of COVID-19, this phrase has the potential to offer great comfort to us all, those who are healthy and praying to stay that way, those who are ill or fear becoming ill, as well as those who are grieving the loss of loved ones who have succumbed to illness. When we say, “We are all in this together,” we must remember to include the presence of Hashem.

Our task this month is to refine and purify our souls in preparation to receive the Torah on Shavuot. It’s the same theme as it is every year at this time. But is our

Dr. Terry Segal

New Moon Meditations

world the same as it’s always been? Are we the same? Of course not.

Everything has changed, from the way we conduct business to how we greet one another. So where and how do we begin to rise to this task? Many are depleted and can’t think about such matters. But there has never been a more important time to transform our animalistic nature to G-dliness. When we’re at our most vulnerable, lives and hearts cracked open, is when G-d’s light has a gap through which to shine and illuminate our souls. Now is certainly that time.

During the seven weeks of the counting of the Omer, from Pesach to Shavuot, we’re provided with a structure for refining our souls through the seven middot (universal virtues or attributes of G-d). For each week on the calendar, begun at sundown on April 9, and ending at sundown May 28, we can contemplate various ways to practice and integrate each quality. If you’re starting late, do each of them on your own timeline.

The seven middot are: kindness/ chesed (living in service to G-d, loving one another); severity/gevurah (being disciplined, with high expectations of self/others); harmony/tiferet (integrating kindness with severity and adding compassion); perseverance/netzach (not giving up); humility/hod (being humble); foundation/ yesod (giving of time, energy, money); and royalty/malchut (serving G-d through all middot).

The process is like paint-by-numbers, with layers of light and dark creating depth, until the full picture becomes clear. We have guidance, but each of us is required to take the steps alone, toward the completed act, which is arriving at Shavuot, humbled to receive the gifts of Torah.

Since it may be daunting to add one more thing to your very full lists at this time, consider focusing on the middot while engaged in an act of self-care. In what ways are you already caring for yourself? Are you taking long baths or long walks? Are you listening to music? Are you sitting on the ground in the sun? Are you doing jigsaw puzzles? Each week meditate on the virtue while doing one of those things.

Many people are calming themselves by taking baths. Epsom salt baths help to relax muscles, allow your body to absorb the salt, which is magnesium, and to detox. Don’t soak for more than about 20 minutes or you’ll reabsorb everything you just released. Be sure to check with your doctor if you have a skin condition before adding this or essential oils to your bathwater. Long walks help keep our qi, or life force, activated, circulating our blood and releasing endorphins. Music invites our minds to rest and ride on the waves of the notes. Grounding connects us to Mother Earth, and sunshine provides direct vitamin D. Jigsaw puzzles permit us to narrow our focus. They make the large, overwhelming world, small. Things fit together and form a larger picture. We know what the completed picture looks like on the box, before we begin, unlike life right now.

Meditation Focus: Rather than viewing the changing structures in government, education, family and the economy as a “break down,” view it as an opportunity to “break through.” Elevate your spirit by mindfully practicing these seven middot. ì