Atlanta Jewish Times, VOL. XCIV NO. 43, November 1, 2019

NEXT WEEK: VETERANS DAY/SENIOR LIVING

VOL. XCIV NO. 43 | PARENTING

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Embracing Jewish Diversity

JEWS OF COLOR HOW DOES JEWISH ATLANTA EMBRACE INCLUSIVITY?

AJC REPORTS FEAR SURVEY CONCLUDES THAT JEWS ARE AFRAID OF ANTI-SEMITISM.

SUKKAH CONTEST SEE THIS YEAR'S UNIQUE AND CREATIVE SUKKAHS.

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Perry Brickman, “Extracted” and Sherry Frank, “A Passion to Serve: Memoirs of a Jewish Activist” Includes a reception sponsored by the AJT Wednesday, November 6, at 12 p.m.

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Contributors This Week ALEX BLECKER BOB BAHR CARI NEWMAN CHANA SHAPIRO DAVE SCHECHTER JAN JABEN-EILON MARCIA CALLER JAFFE DR. MARK FISHER PATRICE WORTHY DR. PIP SPANDORFER RACHEL STEIN ROBYN SPIZMAN GERSON DR. TERRY SEGAL

All in the Family This week’s parenting issue shows the changing face of Atlanta’s Jewish family. We introduce you to examples of mixed marriages and interfaith families. And we take a look at the growing number of Jews of color in our midst. The AJT also asks the tough questions about how Jewish organizations address our diversity and how we can be more inclusive so all are comfortable within Jewish circles.

Muslim-Jewish relations are at the heart of a film shown at the Ismaili Center in Norcross in conjunction with the Atlanta Jewish Film Festival. The AJT was also on hand in Washington, D.C., for the launch of the new Congressional Black-Jewish Caucus. And columnist Dave Schechter reflects on the common roots of black and Jewish Americans in pop music. In essence, we learn that culture bonds us despite our differences.

Our parenting coverage continues with stories about education.

A college student shares his views on anti-Semitism on campus and college consultant Mark Fisher helps us understand what it means when colleges say they are test optional. Read what an elementary

school teacher has learned to help her offer tips for raising teenagers and learn about a new “pop-up” event in which Jewish Women’s Fund of Atlanta will choose to which of three local Jewish teen programs for girls they will allocate funds.

The Book Festival of the MJCCA began this week and we continue our reporting of the event with more author interviews, including headliners Henry Winkler and Lin Oliver, as well as Heather Morris about her newest book capturing the drama of the Holocaust.

We also report on “Sex in the City” author Candace Bushnell’s appearance at the festival, discussing her new book on dating after 50.

With Sukkot in the rearview window, we display the entries in our annual Sukkah Contest. It’s a reminder that fall is upon us, if the leaves and holiday decorations around town don’t give that away.

Next week we honor our seniors and pay tribute to this great nation and those who have served it proudly in a patriot week bookended by Election Day and Veteran’s Day. G-d bless America! ■

THIS WEEK

Cover photo: Jewish Atlanta has evolved into a community blended with different backgrounds and cultures.

CONTENTS LOCAL NEWS ���������������������������������� 6 BOOK FESTIVAL ��������������������������� 10 ISRAEL NEWS ������������������������������� 12 OPINION ����������������������������������������� 14 PARENTING ����������������������������������� 16 CALENDAR ������������������������������������� 26 DINING �������������������������������������������� 28 COMMUNITY ��������������������������������� 29 BRAIN FOOD ���������������������������������� 33 OBITUARIES ���������������������������������� 34 CLOSING THOUGHTS ����������������� 36

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ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES NOVEMBER 1, 2019 | 5

LOCAL NEWS AJC Launches Black-Jewish Congressional Caucus

By Patrice Worthy Voices singing “We Shall Overcome” in Hebrew and English rang throughout the Rayburn House Office Building in Washington D.C. as more than 200 members of congress, clergy and lay leaders celebrated the historic launch of the Congressional Caucus on Black-Jewish Relations Oct. 23.

The caucus was formed by the Atlanta Black-Jewish Coalition, a segment of the AJC founded in 1982 in Atlanta

by Congressman John Lewis and activist Sherry Frank.

Now, the AJC wants to set a new precedent for black-Jewish relations and build on the work of the past by engaging the next generation. Congresswoman Karen Bass (D-Calif.), who is chair of the congressional black-Jewish caucus, said it was a momentous occasion to have everyone from the House of Representatives come together in solidarity.

“I’m from Los Angeles and grew up in the Jewish community, and when it comes to the relationship between our two communities, it is a bipartisan issue

6 | NOVEMBER 1, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

Dr. Pauline Plummer and chazzan Daniel Gross of Detroit lead “We Shall Overcome.”

and I’m happy to be a part of it and look forward to seeing the caucus develop,” Bass said.

The initial members of the blackJewish caucus include Reps. Brenda Lawrence, (D-Mich.), Lee Zeldin (R-N.Y.), Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-Fla.), Will Hurd (R-Texas), and John Lewis (D-Ga). Since its establishment in March, the caucus has elected Bass chair, Congresswoman Joyce Beatty (D-Ohio) first vice chair, Congressman Hank Johnson (D-Ga.) secretary, Congressman A. Donald McEachin (D-Va.)

Rep. Lucy McBath with Rabbi Joshua Lesser of Congregation Bet Haverim.

Christopher Stephens, Mark Spatt and Jeff Fisher of the AJC Black-Jewish Coalition.

just continuing the work of whip; and Congressman Steher parents. McBath’s father ven Horsford (D-N.V.) parliaLucien Holman served as mentarian. president of the NAACP of The mission of the Illinois and was next to Lyncaucus is to build new reladon B. Johnson at the signtionships across black and ing of the Civil Rights Act of Jewish communities, raise 1964, along with members of awareness about racism, the Jewish community. Mcbigotry and anti-Semitism Bath said being a member of in society, and develop leadthe new caucus is a continuership for the future. The ation of her parents’ work caucus is the brainchild of Congresswoman Karen Bass (D-Calif.) and everything she learned Rep. Lawrence, who wanted speaks to the crowd. as a young woman. to form a bipartisan cau“It’s just deepening my roots and relacus to address black and Jewish shared concerns of anti-Semitism and racism. tionship with the Jewish community as we fight side-by-side for the same When she presented the issues we’ve been fighting for idea at a meeting last year all along, but now collectively to Dov Wilker, regional diwe are moving forward to rerector of AJC Atlanta, Wilker ally make a difference,” Mcsaid his response was “How Bath said. “My hope for the can we help?” organization is that we can “This is the first time in build a stronger foundation the history of congress there and structure so that we will has been a black-Jewish cauchampion the civil and hucus. By bringing together man rights of all communiour members specifically ties.” around black-Jewish relaCongressman Hakeem Even with members tions, we hope they work Jeffries (D-N.Y.) addresses such as Congresswoman for each other. Then we those gathered.

Ilhan Omar (D-Mich.), who hope that the message will filter down into their districts. It’s not was criticized for anti-Semitic remarks, just about what happens to the members Wilker hopes her presence will expand the influence of the congresthemselves, but the people sional caucus. He said it’s in their offices, between ofgreat she wanted to be a part fices, and ultimately down of it. into the districts.”

“We hope that she’ll Every member of the learn about anti-Semitism Georgia delegation is a and what is anti-Semitism,” member of the congresWilker said. “As a Muslim sional caucus and now the member of Congress, to be a AJC is committed to ensurpart of the black-Jewish cauing every Jewish and black Rabbi Sandra Lawson cus also shows it’s not just a member of Congress in the of Elon University in Jewish-Christian initiative, Southeast is a member of the North Carolina and Rabbi but that it’s really about caucus. Rep. Lucy McBath, Georgette Kennebrae blacks and Jews coming to(D-Ga.) said being a part of of West End Synagogue gether.” ■ the black-Jewish caucus is in Manhattan.

LOCAL NEWS

American Jews Worried About Anti-Semitism

By Dave Schechter If you have decided not to wear a kippah in public, or maybe covered it with a hat, or not worn a Star of David or chai symbol around your neck, or tucked them in your shirt so that they cannot be seen, you are not alone.

Nearly one-third of American Jews recently surveyed by the American Jewish Committee said that they “have avoided publicly wearing, carrying or displaying things that might help people identify them as Jews.”

One-quarter said that they “avoid certain places, events, or situations at least some of the time out of concern for their safety or comfort as Jews.”

In a study that the AJC called “the largest and most comprehensive ever on the subject of antisemitism in America,” 88 percent of respondents said anti-Semitism is a problem in the United States today, with 38 percent calling it a very serious problem.

Asked whether anti-Semitism in the U.S. has increased over the past five years, 84 percent said “yes,” with 43 percent saying, “it has increased a lot.”

The survey results were released in the days before the first anniversary of the Oct. 27, 2018, massacre of 11 Shabbat morning worshippers at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh. The interviews with 1,283 adults of Jewish religion or background were conducted from Sept. 11 to Oct. 6 by an independent research company.

Despite the concern they professed, the overwhelming majority of those surveyed responded that they had never been the target of an anti-Semitic physical attack (98 percent), had not been the target of an anti-Semitic remark in person, by mail, or by phone (77 percent), and had not been the target of an anti-Semitic remark online or through social media (80 percent). Only 5 percent said that they had avoided visiting Jewish institutions or participating in Jewish events because they did not feel safe there.

Dov Wilker, director of AJC’s regional office in Atlanta, noted that of those who did experience anti-Semitism, 75 percent said they did not report the incident, not to police or a Jewish organization, or Dov Wilker is director of the AJC’s regional office in Atlanta. by posting online. Additionally, the killings in Pittsburgh, the shootings at the Chabad Center in Poway, Calif., and other publicized incidents have had an impact. “Even if it doesn’t happen to us, we have a heightened sensitivity to what’s happening in our community, whether that’s in Atlanta or to Jews around the country,” Wilker said.

The views on anti-Semitism cut across denominational and political lines.

Among the Haredi (ultra-Orthodox), 84 percent said anti-Semitism “today is a very serious or somewhat of a problem,” as did 80 percent of Modern Orthodox, 91 percent of Conservative, 94 percent of Reform, 92 percent of Reconstructionist, and 87 percent of secular Jews.

By political affiliation, 93 percent of Democrats, 87 percent of independents, and 75 percent of Republicans said anti-Semitism is a problem.

As to the sources of anti-Semitism, 89 percent of

Questions in the AJC study revolved around President Donald Trump, pictured here with Israel Prime Minister Benyamin Netanyahu.

the survey’s respondents identified the “extreme political right” as a threat, with 49 percent calling that group “a very serious threat.” The “extreme political left” was cited by 64 percent of the respondents, with 15 percent calling that group “a very serious threat.”

“Extremism in the name of Islam” was cited by 85 percent of respondents, with 27 percent calling it a “very serious threat.”

President Donald Trump’s “handling of the threat of anti-Semitism in America” was disapproved by 73 percent of respondents, compared with 24 percent who expressed approval. Broken down by political affiliation, 84 percent of Republicans approved of Trump’s response, 49 percent of them strongly. Among Democrats, 92 percent disapproved of Trump’s handling of the issue, 82 percent of them strongly disapproving.

The American Jews surveyed assigned greater responsibility to the Republican Party than the Democrats for the level of anti-Semitism in the U.S., by a considerable margin, although members of both parties found similar degrees of fault within their own ranks.

As to whether anti-Zionism – defined as “the belief that Israel should not exist” – is a form of anti-Semitism, 84 percent of respondents agreed.

Asked about the statement, “The U.S. government only supports Israel because of Jewish money,” 84 percent of those surveyed agreed.

On the question of dual loyalty, 73 percent believe that the statement “American Jews are more loyal to Israel than to America” is anti-Semitic.

Regarding the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions movement against Israel, 35 percent viewed it as mostly anti-Semitic, while 47 percent said that it may not be anti-Semitic, but has anti-Semitic supporters.

As for the climate on the nation’s college campuses, 36 percent felt it to be more hostile than a year ago, while 41 percent said it was about the same, and 20 percent did not know. ■

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES NOVEMBER 1, 2019 | 7

LOCAL NEWS

AJFF Brings Muslims and Jews Together

“El Gusto” tells the story of an orchestra made up of Jews and Muslims who are separated by the Algerian War of Independence and then reunited 50 years later.

By Bob Bahr Like a mythical phoenix rising from its ashes, the documentary “El Gusto” tells the story of an old Algerian orchestra reborn to a new life. The film, which was first released in 2012, was screened by the Atlanta Jewish Film Festival before a warmly appreciative audience at the Ismaili Jamatkhana, an Islamic religious center in Norcross.

The documentary tells of the reunion and subsequent concert by an orchestra composed of Muslims and Jews that was popular during French colonial days in the 1940s and 1950s. The story of how the filmmaker managed to reunite the old orchestra and present it as the musicians played together once again is almost as fascinating as the joyous and inspired musicmaking on screen.

The creator of the film, Safinez Bousbia, who is

8 | NOVEMBER 1, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

Photo Credit: Daemon Baizan of the AJFF // AJFF Executive Director Kenny Blank with leaders of the Ismaili Jamatkhana in Norcross.

from North Africa, spent years tracking down the old musicians, whom she first discovered in a faded photograph from the 1940s. All the Jewish musicians had fled the country. Some went to France. The Arab musicians also scattered, some to a quiet life in Algeria, others to anonymity elsewhere.

Bousbia brought them together once again to play Chaabi, or the inspired blend of Andalusian music from Spain, Berber melodies from North Africa and religious tunes of the common man of Tunisia, which had origins in the fabled casbah. Some of the musicians were in their 90s or older when film shooting began in 2006.

It took another six years of filming and editing and a battle with breast cancer that almost ended the filmmaker’s life before the production was ready for a final edit. Only a last-minute investment from the Abu

Dhabi Film Festival allowed it to be completed. It was screened at the festival there, where it won the director a top prize.

Sadly, the old orchestra never was able to play in its native Algeria because of the dangers that the musicians, particularly the Jews, would have endured.

But the success of the film brought the old orchestra new life and a successful tour of America in 2013.

“El Gusto” was introduced by Sherry Frank, who as the executive director of the American Jewish Committee in Atlanta, helped start the AJFF almost 20 years ago.

“One of the strong dreams we had in starting the festival” she pointed out, “was the opportunity to build bridges. It is so gratifying to be able to come and say thank you for joining with us Photo Credit: Daemon Baizan of the in building commu- AJFF // Sherry Frank, who helped nity and sharing the created the AJFF 20 years ago, introduced the documentary power of film.” at the Ismailia Jamatkhana.

This is the second year that the AJFF has brought Jews and Muslims together in a film showing of interest to both groups. It’s part of the year-round programs that the festival creates to reach diverse audiences, most recently in the AJFF mini festival on the campus of Emory University.

The afternoon was coordinated for the AJFF by Katherine Crosby, who is the film festival’s community programming manager.

“The arts are a great way for us to connect with each other,” she said, “and see the commonalities that we share through our stories.

According to Behnoosh Momin, a spokesperson for the center, the screening and the partnership with the AJFF is part of an effort the group has undertaken to create better understanding in an interfaith setting.

“We seek to learn how to see our differences in a new way,” Momin said. “Instead of viewing cultural diversity as a burden, we can use it as an opportunity to learn from one another and to appreciate one another.”

The Jamatkhana is a center for education and worship built by the Ismaili branch of Islam, a small but highly influential sect of Islam, which is led by the Aga Khan. The sect is considered among the most liberal and progressive branches of Islam in the modern world.

The afternoon concluded with a short concert of traditional Arab music by David Marcus. ■

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES NOVEMBER 1, 2019 | 9

BOOK FESTIVAL Out of This World With Winkler, Oliver The newest book by New York Times best-selling authors Henry Winkler and Lin Oliver, “Alien Superstar,” is the story of an irresistible alien who leaves his home planet and crash lands on earth on Hollywood’s Universal lot.

The main character, Buddy C. Burger, is accidently cast on a television show that goes Robyn viral and the alien-turned-ce- Spizman lebrity discovers instant stardom in this page-turning book filled with comedic antics, adventures and twists.

In a recent conversation with the authors, well-known Winkler and writerproducer Oliver shared their excitement for returning to Atlanta for the MJCCA Book Festival. They have been here several times for previous book promotions.

“Alien Superstar” touches on several themes, including accepting differences and the challenge of fitting in and finding your place in life. According to a phone interview with Winkler, from California, “The larger lesson of this book is: Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

10 | NOVEMBER 1, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

He explained, “The underpinning of this book gives a theme that kids will find truthful and gives an authenticity to storytelling.

Regarding Buddy, the alien, kids will identify with him and feel like Buddy feels with the outside looking in.” Like Buddy, kids wonder what happens when they reveal their true selves, Winkler said. “The message of Buddy Burger, the alien superstar, gives a child a sense that this is a real story.”

Teaming up with Oliver, who he called an ideal book-writing partner, Winkler elaborated, “I sit on one side of a desk and she sits on the other. Every story we have told comes out of a discussion ‘What should we write?’ Such as, ‘Oh, this is fun, ... children will like this.’ Lin and I know all about working in Hollywood for the greater part of our professional lives.”

I couldn’t resist asking Winkler how he and his main character Buddy are alike.

“Buddy is the same insecure actor as me, when I came out here to Hollywood. When

Henry Winkler

Lin Oliver

I arrived, I was a fish out of a water and went straight from the airport to my agent thinking I would go to an interview and instantly get an audition. The agent said to me, ‘Don’t you want to check into your hotel first?’ and added, ‘it’s going to be hard to send you out on auditions.’ I said, ‘Wow, that’s a $1,000, 3,000-mile mistake.’ I asked her ‘What do you mean?’ So, yes, I completely understand Buddy, who is trying to figure out this strange world of Hollywood.”

Oliver offered, “We loved creating the series “Hank Zipzer” and introducing a character who infiltrates a generation of kids.

Hank was finished and we wanted to create the same kind of series that was character driven. Though it’s a comedy, we wanted to make Buddy Burger a kid who you love and want to hang around with. While Buddy is an alien, most kids feel alien, out of place sometimes, and we think that’s the mindset of a lot of kids today.”

In “Alien Superstar,” of course, like in real life, social media explodes, Winkler said. “The first thing that happens in the world of celebrities is that even if its unjustifiable, social media can go viral and anyone can become a celebrity with no justification. Sure, it’s exciting, but even the red carpet comes with frustration, downsides, and celebrity needs to be earned. There are costs and benefits.”

As an astronomical fan of this alien, I inquired what’s next for this rock star alien. “As a matter of fact, we met to discuss that yesterday,” Winkler said. “We’re in the middle now of writing a second novel and there will be three in all, and we’re exploring other mediums.”

Winkler continued, “I absolutely love thinking about aliens and Lin and I have both worked with this topic as I produced a story about ‘Sightings.’” He said, “Writing what you know is the most powerful platform and we researched every bit of the galaxy to discover what’s true.”

When I inquired about the authors’

return to Atlanta for a book festival, Winkler credited our hometown literary icon.

“We can’t wait to come back to Atlanta thanks to that fabulous book escort we know named Esther Levine!” I immediately kvelled and told Winkler, “That’s my sister-in-law!” Talk about a small world.

Winkler added, “I’m also looking forward to a return visit to Mary Mac’s Tea Room.”

In closing, Winkler summed it up best, “We sit here on Wilshire Boulevard and you never know how a book will be received.

Then you have an interview like this one with warmth and enthusiasm and that’s so meaningful. One thing that Lin always says, ‘We want to be the book kids read not because they were assigned it, but it’s the well-worn book in their backpack, ... the one they can’t put down.’ We believe comedy is the gateway to long life readers.”

Co-creator Oliver chimed in, “Henry, you mean life-long readers,” and laughter ensued.

It’s clear that Winkler and Oliver can read each other’s minds. Hmmm, ... I wonder if that comes with alien powers. ■ Robyn Spizman Gerson is a New York Times best-selling author and media personality.

She is the author of “Loving Out Loud: The Power of a Kind Word,” www.robynspizman.com.

Opening Night Authors Rescheduled Due to the wildfires near Winkler's Calif. home, he has rescheduled his appearance with Lin Oliver to Nov. 12 at 7:30 p.m.

Your current tickets will still be good for the new date. If you are unable to attend the new date, you may exchange your ticket for another one of the 45+ authors scheduled during the festival, with the exception of sold-out events.

Please contact the Book Festival of the MJCCA box office at boxoffice@atlantajcc. org or call 678-812-4002 for more information.

BOOK FESTIVAL

‘Cilka’s Journey:’ Unwavering Courage in the Face of Evil

By Terry Segal

been carried out on elderly survivors in aged care facilities and documented. I will not rule out writing further on this subject.

It is a subject I feel very strongly about.

Heather Morris, the best-selling author of “The Tattooist of Auschwitz,” has written another powerful book, “Cilka’s Journey,” based on the life of Cecilia “Cilka” Klein, who lived through the unimaginable horrors of the Holocaust.

I was fortunate enough to interview Morris before she left on her United Kingdom book tour.

Segal: Lale Sokolov, the prisoner who became the tattooist of Auschwitz, chose you to write the book about his life because you’re not Jewish and would “have no baggage from the Holocaust.” But is there a deeper reason you were chosen to write it?

Morris: Lale believed there wouldn’t be a Jewish person alive not touched by the Holocaust and have their own backstory.

From him, I learned about Cilka, whom he called, ‘the bravest person I had ever met.’

The deeper reason was that Cilka, this young girl, had been treated so terribly and unfairly in both Auschwitz and the Russian Gulag, and yet survived and thrived. I found that amazing resilience and sense of hope a story worth writing about.

Segal: Has writing the books changed

Segal: Will your powerful books be made into movies?

Morris: Currently “The Tattooist of Auschwitz” is in the early stage of a six-part miniseries, which we hope will air next year. Still early days for Cilka, but like you, a lot of people are wanting to see Cilka on the big screen.

you and the direction of your life?

Morris: It hasn’t really changed me. I still value all that I valued before and still love what I have always loved. But certainly, the direction of my life has changed. I have so many stories still to be told and my passion for writing those stories has escalated because I have met so many people that want me to write their stories.

Segal: I understand that people all over the world are contacting you, sharing their stories about the circumstances and experiences with the characters in your books. What will you do with the

additional information?

Morris: Each day I’m overwhelmed with the stories sent to me. It allows me to really understand the magnitude of people’s sense of hope and courage, and also their compassion and forgiveness. A few have stood out, so we will see where that leads me.

Segal: You’ve referenced the deep shame that the women of the Holocaust kept hidden and suffer from, even though the shame should never have been theirs. Do you think you might write a book about that topic?

Morris: Research and studies have

Segal: After reading both books, the characters live on, inside of me. Do they for you too?

Morris: Yes, they certainly do. Not a day goes by when I don’t think of Lale, Gita and now Cilka, all so much part of my life. I am thankful that I have had the privilege to write their stories, I find that humbling and I respect so much what Lale and Cilka went through. And, of course, there are always those whose stories have not been told, those who suffered and many who paid the ultimate price. I hope I honor them in all I do. I now live by Lale’s motto: ‘If you wake up in the morning, it is a good day.’ ■ “Cilka’s Journey” will be featured Nov. 4 at the Book Festival of the MJCCA.

Bushnell Explores Dating After 50

By Jen Evans On Sunday night, my gal pal Beth and I attended A Prologue to the Book Festival of the MJCCA author talk and book signing featuring Candace Bushnell. She is the acclaimed author of “Sex in the City” and was in town to talk about her new book, “Is There Still Sex in the City?”

Prologue events bring a prestigious array of authors to the Atlanta community before the Book Festival officially begins.

The gym at the Marcus JCC was filled primarily with women on girl’s night out, waiting to hear what Bushnell had to say about her new book, and about dating in general. The women in attendance were absolutely excited to be there. The lights went down and Bushnell ran onto the stage, up to the podium and promptly read an excerpt out of her book that had the audience chuckling.

She then sat down in her chair,

Evans poses with author Candace Bushnell. Evans is a huge fan of the “Sex in the City” series.

throwing her feet in the air showing off her hot pink stilettos, and a began the conversation with Emily Griffin, the New York Times best-selling author of “All We Ever Wanted” and “Something Borrowed.”

One of the main themes in Bushnell’s new book is female friendships. Bushnell shared with us that “you have to be real and make time for friends. Women lose touch with their friends when they get married and have kids, and this book is

about women coming back together.”

Bushnell told humorous tales about growing up in Glastonbury, Conn., with her two sisters, and stories about attending Rice University and New York University. She told us what it was like moving to New York City before she was 20 and how it has always felt like home to her. Bushnell also reminisced about writing her column, “Sex in the City” for the New York Observer and being on the set of the TV series the first few years.

When it was time for audience questions, a woman at the microphone asked Bushnell what it was like working with men when she started out in her career, and about the #MeToo movement. She briefly talked about a few experiences she had, claiming that’s why she chose to freelance for women at magazines such as Mademoiselle and Self.

Bushnell is a strong, funny lady, full of energy with an impeccable fashion sense. It was truly entertaining listening to her speak about her new book. ■ ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES NOVEMBER 1, 2019 | 11

ISRAEL PRIDE

News From Our Jewish Home 1,500-Year-Old Church to Mystery ‘Martyr’ Unearthed

Around 1,500 years ago, Christian visitors swarmed to a luxurious church near Beit Shemesh, which was constructed with donations from the Byzantine emperor himself in honor of an unnamed, “glorious martyr,” according to The Times of Israel.

“The martyr’s identity is not known, but the exceptional opulence of the structure and its inscriptions indicate that this person was an important figure,” said excavation director Benjamin Storchan in the Israel Antiquities Authority press release.

Just over a third of an acre in scale, the church compound has an exciting intact crypt, with an inscription memorializing the martyr in Greek. The excavation has already spanned over three years and involved IAA experts and over 5,000 youth volunteers.

An exhibit at Jerusalem’s Bible Lands Museum opened last week featuring some of the impressively preserved artifacts from the dig.

Today in Israeli History

Photo by Moshe Pridan, Israeli Government Press Office // Prime Minister Levi Eshkol casts his

ballot in the Knesset election Nov. 1, 1965.

Nov. 1, 1965: Prime Minister Levi Eshkol, hand-picked by David Ben-Gurion to be his successor in 1963, retains his office in the election for the sixth Knesset as the Alignment, a left-leaning merger of Eshkol’s Mapai and Ahdut Ha’Avoda, wins 45 of the 120 seats. Rafi, a Mapai breakaway founded by Ben-Gurion after a falling-out with Eshkol, gains 10 seats, the fourth-largest bloc. Rafi and the two Alignment parties merge to form the Labor Party in 1968.

Nov. 2, 1917: The British foreign secretary, Arthur Balfour, reveals his government’s endorsement of “the establishment in Palestine of a Jewish national home” in a letter to Lord Rothschild, the 12 | NOVEMBER 1, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

After Two-Year Drop, Israeli College Attendance on the Rise

After a two-year decline in enrollment, Israel’s undergraduate schools saw an increase in both total number and new students in the 2018-2019 year. In that academic year, 316,400 students studied at 62 Israeli institutions, a 3.4 percent increase over the previous year.

Though the trend did not hold true at colleges for training educators, it was the case across a wide variety of fields, especially business, science, management, statistics, mathematics and computer science, according to reporting by The Times of Israel.

Education fields continued to decline, especially physical education, and undergraduate medicine and law each also saw significant declines. Women make up 59.5 percent of Israel’s undergraduate students, and that number is even higher, 68.9 percent among Israeli Arabs. Total proportion of Arab students head of the British Zionist Organization.

The Balfour Declaration is discussed during the 1919 Paris peace conference and the 1920 San Remo Treaty talks, and its contents are included in the Articles of the Palestine Mandate, ratified by the League of Nations in July 1922.

Nov. 3, 1878: Religious Jews determined to start an agricultural settlement leave Jerusalem and establish Petah Tikvah, whose name means “gateway of hope.”

They purchase 3,400 dunams (roughly 756 acres) from a Greek owner near the Yarkon River and the Arab village of Mulabbis after failing to get Ottoman approval for a land sale near Jericho. The settlement is abandoned before 1883, when immigrants from Russia move in. Petah Tikvah is now Israel’s fifth-largest city.

in higher education also increased according to the report.

Screenshot via Channel 13 // A worker in

Kibbutz Lavi’s carpentry factory.

Kibbutz Begun by Kindertransport Survivors Makes Furniture

Kibbutz Lavi’s founders included children who fled Germany for the United Kingdom as part of the Kindertransport program before the Holocaust.

Yitzhak Rabin after a peace rally in Tel Aviv. Rabin, a native of pre-state Palestine, had played a prominent role in most of Israel’s history, including commanding the defense of Jerusalem in 1948 and serving as army chief of staff during the 1967 war, ambassador to the United States and the fifth prime minister.

Nov. 5, 1933: Judah Magnes, the president of the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, outlines a plan for the university’s expansion during a speech marking the start of the academic year. His plan includes the hiring of 14 professors who have lost their jobs in Nazi Germany. U.S. organizations, including the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee, raise $60,000 to support the German professors.

Photo by P. Kruse, National Library of Israel //

Photo by Ya’acov Sa’ar, Israeli Government Press Office // Yitzhak Rabin was in his second term

as prime minister when he was assassinated.

Nov. 4, 1995: Yigal Amir, a law student opposed to the Oslo peace process, fatally shoots Israeli Prime Minister

Hovevei Zion delegates attend their first conference Nov. 6, 1884, in Katowice.

Nov. 6, 1884: Delegates gather in Katowice — now in Poland, then part of Prussia — for the first conference of the Hovevei Zion (Lovers of Zion) movement, which has spread rapidly in Europe from its roots in

The kibbutz has now become among the world’s largest providers of furniture for synagogues.

The community has produced furniture for over 6,000 synagogues in 70 countries around the world, including the majority of Israeli synagogues.

“I estimate that today close to a million people are sitting on our furniture,” said Micha Oberman, CEO of Lavi Furniture Industries, in an interview Oct. 20 with Channel 13.

The furniture business started when the kibbutz was opening its first synagogue in 1950. Turning to carpenters living on the kibbutz to save money, soon other nearby communities started requesting furniture.

Today, the factory produces arks for Torah scrolls in numerous styles including designs for traditional Askenazi and Sephardic synagogues.

“In the group that founded the kibbutz were two carpenters. They dreamed that it would become a furniture factory which would be known worldwide,” said Shila Kritzler, one of the kibbutz’s founding members. ■ Russia and Romania. Leon Pinsker, who has inspired Zionist aspirations with his 1882 pamphlet “Autoemancipation,” organizes the gathering, which pledges to support settlement in the Land of Israel.

Hannah Senesh dresses up as a Hungarian soldier.

Nov. 7, 1944: Hannah Senesh (formerly Szenes) is executed by a Hungarian firing squad in Budapest five months after being captured while trying to enter Hungary from Yugoslavia. Senesh, a poet and Haganah paratrooper who was born in Hungary in 1921 and made aliyah in 1939, had parachuted into Nazi-occupied territory on a mission to free prisoners of war and organize Jewish resistance. Her remains are reburied on Mount Herzl in 1950. ■ Items are provided by the Center for Israel Education (www.israeled.org), where you can find more details.

ISRAEL NEWS Gantz Now Tasked With Forming Israeli Government

By Jan Jaben-Eilon

the Kadima party following Prime Minister Ehud Olmert’s resignation amidst charges Israelis – like Americans – are truly of corruption and financial improprieties living in historical times, politically.

– charges for which he was eventually conOn Oct. 23, Israeli President Reuven victed. With less than two years to go until Rivlin tasked Blue and White the next scheduled elections, Party head Benny Gantz with the coalition partners used the the herculean job of cobbling opportunity to try and extract together a coalition governmore concessions from the new ment. This occurred after potential leader.

Prime Minister Benjamin Ne“Livni held firm on sevtanyahu returned the mandate eral issues, including – in a to Rivlin after failing, again, to reminder to how different convince enough parties comthings were 11 years ago – a prised of a majority of Knesset request from Shas that she Benny Gantz is members to join him in a govpromise to exclude Jerusalem tasked with forming ernment. from any future negotiations Israeli government.

Netanyahu was initially with the Palestinians.” asked by the president to attempt to asAs Walter points out, in October that semble a government, despite the fact year, “Livni announced that she had been that his party, Likud, won one fewer seat unable to form a coalition and new elecin the Knesset in the Sept. 17 election than tions were called for February 2009. In Gantz’s party, and despite the fact that Ne- that election, just as happened in Septemtanyahu had failed to put together a gov- ber this year with Blue and White, Netanernment after the April election as well. yahu and Likud won one fewer seats than As October drew to a Livni and Kadima. However, close, Gantz was feverishly because Netanyahu received meeting with the heads of the endorsement of more many of the parties, includKnesset members, he was giving Netanyahu, to try to find en the first chance at creating common ground and comthe coalition.” pose a unity government. He According to Walter, has until Nov. 20, when he “while there are some paralmust return the mandate to lels to 2008/2009, there was Rivlin if he either is unable nothing like the current deadRich Walter is to assemble a majority govlock. For example, at that time, vice president of ernment or decides to risk the religious parties Shas and curriculum and working with a minority govUnited Torah Judaism would outreach at the Center ernment. In the latter case, still sit in either a right-leaning for Israel Education. any legislation in the Knesset or left-leaning government, would need to receive backing from par- and often played both sides to try and get ties not in the coalition government – in- the best deal for their constituents. I don’t cluding, most likely, the Arab parties – in know if that can happen now, especially order to pass. given the agreement that the right-wing No one knows if or when Israel will bloc signed with Netanyahu.” That agreeagain have a working government, but al- ment requires Likud and the right-wing ready history is being made. parties to only discuss going “Gantz being tasked to form into a coalition as a bloc of 55 the government is the first members. time that someone other than That right-wing agreement Bibi [Netanyahu] has been is one of the stumbling blocks given the mandate since then to putting together a coalition President Shimon Peres tasked government because Gantz has Tzipi Livni in September 2008,” stated that he wants to negotinoted Richard S. Walter, vice ate with Likud separately from president of curriculum and its right-wing partners.

Tzipi Livni, former outreach at the Center for IsIf Gantz is unable to aschair of the Kadima rael Education in Atlanta. semble a coalition governparty, was the “The key difference is that ment, Rivlin would ask the last one asked 11 in 2008, the coalition negotiaKnesset to vote, as individual years ago to form a tions did not take place after an government when members, on a prime minisNetanyahu couldn’t. election, let alone two of them. ter. The Knesset would have 21 Livni had been elected as the new chair of days in which to gather the votes for one

of the Arab parties joining a person to lead the next governcoalition but said that “the ment. Presumably, it would former would be politically be Gantz or Netanyahu. If a unstable and the latter could majority of Knesset members be political suicide for Gantz fails to support one candidate, and the Arab MKs,” members the legislature would autoof Knesset. matically disperse and a third One other factor hoverelection would be called for ing over the coalition negothe last Tuesday, 90 days later. tiations is the expectation That would be early March.

Ehud Olmert was the “A third election will former prime minister that Israeli Attorney General who resigned amid Avichai Mandelblit will andepend on whether or not corruption charges. nounce, possibly this month, Gantz can break up the rightwing bloc while not alienating his natu- whether or not he will indict Netanyahu ral partners and/or Lieberman,” Walter on several corruption charges, including said. He was referring to Yisrael Beiteinu fraud, breach of trust and possibly bribery. Earlier this year, Mandelparty head Avigdor Lieberblit announced his intention man, whose eight Knesset to indict the prime minister, members are seen as key to but by law met with Netanany coalition government. yahu’s attorneys in several “This will not be easy for hearings in early October to someone who is a political listen to their response to the newcomer,” as is Gantz, Walcharges. ter said. A former army chief Unlike his predecessor, of staff, Gantz only entered Olmert, Netanyahu is not the political arena a year ago.

Benjamin Netanyahu expected to resign to focus Walter suggested the was unsuccessful in on fighting any charges that other options of a minority forming an Israeli government. might be filed against him. ■ government or some or all

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OPINION Religious and Racial Roots of American Popular Music The Israeli journalist where there was no space, and and author Yossi Klein Haleto create a space in a world vi says of the Jews, “We are a that only understood you as a story we tell ourselves about slave,” Andrews said. who we think we are.”

In addition to his flock at Throughout the Bible First Congregational, Andrews there are admonitions such as is also an acclaimed musiin Deuteronomy 32:7, where cian (saxophone, clarinet and it is written “Remember the flute), music educator (Emory days of old, consider the years University) and music direcof many generations.” As a Dave tor (for the Broadway producpeople, Jews have a collective Schechter tions of August Wilson’s plays, From Where I Sit memory measured in the as well as the revival of “A Raithousands of years, with oral sin in the Sun”). and written accounts chronicling their hisThe importance of memory was one tory through countless generations. aspect of a recent public conversation at the African Americans have had no such church about Jews, African Americans, and fortune, their forebears having been vio- popular music, featuring Andrews and Ben lently separated from their homelands and, Sidran, the multi-talented pianist, producer, thus, their history. “Memory is part of the lyricist, songwriter and author. “Without Affabric that holds a community together,” rican Americans and Jews, there would be said Rev. Dwight Andrews of First Congre- no popular music in America,” Sidran said. gational Church in downtown Atlanta. “So As with his appearance at the Atlanta much of the experience of African Ameri- Jewish Music Festival in March, the bacans in this country was designed to destroy sis for the discussion was Sidran’s book, memory, to destroy any sense of identity, to “There Was a Fire: Jews, Music and the destroy any sense of community.”

American Dream,” which jazz pianist Joe The blues as a musical genre was a re- Alterman credits with helping motivate his sponse to what was lost. “The blues becomes decision last year to become AJMF director. an expression and an effort to make a space Andrews, Alterman and Leslie Gor-

14 | NOVEMBER 1, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

don, director of the William Breman Jewish Heritage Museum, had talked for several months about arranging such an event, which drew an audience of about 250 people on a Thursday night.

“This conversation, of blacks and Jews in America, to me is so important because it represents the best of this idea of caring for one another in America,” Sidran said.

In America, Jews and blacks shared a “commonality of being outsiders,” Sidran said. “When the Jews came to the United States, . . . they weren’t black, but they weren’t white, they were somewhere in between.”

American Jews associated the lynchings of blacks with the pogroms in the European lands they had left and, because of their constant search for a safe harbor, Jews identified with the African Americans’ “stranger in a strange land” status.

“The Jews’ self-identity is bound up with the idea of being slaves in Egypt” and African Americans drew inspiration from the (perhaps apocryphal) story of the Hebrew slaves and their liberation, Sidran said.

The skills that Jews brought to the music business, as they did to other enterprises, were learned as outsiders in countries where their opportunities were circumscribed. Jews and African Americans

became insiders in the music business. In this symbiotic relationship, each needed and benefited from the other, but not always in equal measure, notably as it came to payments received by musicians.

Sidran, 76, and Andrews, 68, despair about the form and lyrics of some of today’s popular music, the effects of technology on music creation and the industry, and the demise of music education in public schools.

In the not-too-distant past, the latter was “part of your preparation as a citizen in an enlightened democracy,” Andrews said.

“The whole notion of community, listening to music as a community, as opposed to listening with our headsets, the way in which we privatize the experience of music and sound, I think also goes against this sense of community and of a shared experience,” Andrews said.

The evening’s fitting coda came from Sidran at the piano, performing his 2017 composition “I Might Be Wrong,” which included these first stanza lyrics: I might be wrong but it sure seems to me The past ain’t what it was And the future ain’t what it used to be Everywhere I go I hear people say Man, you should have been here yesterday ■

OPINION

Don’t Bring Your Anti-Semitism on My College Campus The rise of the Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions movement on college campuses nationwide is a dangerous phenomenon for Jewish students like myself. The movement openly denies the Jewish people’s right to self-determination and the legitimacy of Israel, which therefore breeds Alex anti-Semitism.

With the rise of these Blecker pro-Palestine movements, anti-Semitic hate crimes on campuses have also seen a surge. The AMCHA Initiative has reported over 2,500 acts of anti-Semitism on college campuses since 2015. The incidents range from swastikas posted on Jewish students’ doors to graffiti calling the Holocaust a hoax.

The university I currently attend was the first Southeastern school in the country to pass student governance legislation that supports the BDS movement. This inherently makes Jewish students on campus feel unwelcome and demonized for supporting Zionism. Luckily, the board of trustees led by a Jewish president decided not to act on the legislation to divest from Israeli companies.

The BDS movement spreads the misinformation of Israel being an “apartheid” state that endorses the killing of innocent women and children. Campuses around the country frame the Jewish community and students as bystanders and, therefore, accomplices of said actions.

Despite this, proponents of BDS proclaim that anti-Zionism is not in any way related to anti-Semitism. This could not be any farther from the truth. Israel is the one and only Jewish state in the history of the world, and by applying double standards of human rights violations and by denying the Jewish people the fundamental right to self-determination, you are participating in anti-Semitic behavior. Even the German parliament, of all countries, declared the BDS movement anti-Semitic.

To add to this, many BDS supporters have no interest in following their own standards and seem to only be in it to criticize Jews living in Israel and around the world. For instance, the movement calls for the boycott of companies and products that work closely with Israel. Supporters, of course, say this with their iPhones in hand, with much of the hardware and technology, including the fancy facial recognition, being developed in Israel by an Israeli company. It goes to show the purpose of BDS isn’t BDS at all. These are just means to the end,

which is the destruction of the State of Israel, the Jewish state.

I have no problem with criticizing Israel, as I myself do at times, but Israel is indisputably the most democratic nation in the Middle East. By singling the Jews out and supporting or turning a blind eye to the surrounding countries, which limit the rights of females substantially and declare homosexual acts illegal and in some cases, punishable by death, you are showing your real intent in criticizing Israel.

Surprisingly, many BDS activists also claim innocence by pretending that a large portion of Jews support the movement. This is simply not true, as Gallup, which is one of the most reputable sources of poll data, shows that 95 percent of Jews have favorable views of Israel while only 10 percent of Jews can say the same of the Palestinian Authority. This falsehood helps them legitimize anti-Semitism to the rest of the world. On top of this, I think Jews of all people know when they are being discriminated against, despite BDS proponents telling us otherwise. The “I’m not racist, but…” claim doesn’t carry much weight anymore.

What hurts the most is that there are people who aren’t anti-Semitic who stand with BDS while not understanding the impact it has on the Jewish community. One of my best friends from high school fell down this path. He would make his support for BDS well-known, and when I confronted him on this, he would deny the movement’s anti-Semitic agenda. I genuinely believe he had nothing but good intentions, but it came to a point where I didn’t feel comfortable associating myself with him anymore. At times, I feel conflicted about breaking off the friendship, but in the end, I have no regrets.

I wouldn’t be shocked if many other Jewish students are or were in the same boat I was.

The BDS movement, as well as proPalestine groups, are dangerous to the existence of the State of Israel and the Jewish population. When universities take sides, they put their Jewish students at risk of discrimination.

Philosopher George Santayana has said, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it,” and that isn’t a good thing for the Jews. Don’t let history repeat itself; don’t support BDS. Alex Blecker is a freshman double-majoring in economics and political science at Oglethorpe University in Atlanta.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES NOVEMBER 1, 2019 | 15

PARENTING Does Atlanta Welcome Jews of Color?

By Jan Jaben-Eilon Heidi Senior perhaps expresses it best. She said that she feels like “a round peg in a square hole.” That’s because Senior is one of the many Jews of color in the Atlanta area who doesn’t feel welcomed by the Atlanta Jewish community.

A biracial woman whose mother was Jewish, Senior is married to a black man, and they have five children. Even before Senior learned her biological mother was Jewish, she and her husband sought out and practiced Judaism. She’s also searched for other Jews of color in the area.

“Meeting other Jews that look like me gave me confidence. I made an appointment with a rabbi and he said that me and my kids are fine and don’t need to convert, but my husband does. But he felt dismissed,” she explained to the AJT. So now the Seniors don’t belong to any synagogue, although they are considering joining one not far from where they just moved, about 50 miles northeast of Atlanta. Their experience with synagogues hasn’t been positive, however. “I don’t see people who look like me in shul and we don’t want to feel like we have to have proof of being Jewish,” Senior said. “I don’t feel like the synagogue is a safe space.”

Senior isn’t alone. Tarece Johnson, who is black and Jewish, said that “no one has ever been rude to me, but I have encountered many nice racists in the Atlanta Jewish community. People just don’t realize that what they are saying is racist.” Johnson’s ancestors include a grandmother from Madagascar, as well as native Americans and Louisiana Creole.

Johnson described herself as a di-

16 | NOVEMBER 1, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

Tarece Johnson, center, and her children, Hannah and Nile, show diversity in the Atlanta Jewish community.

versity professional. In that capacity, she was invited to offer a voluntary course on diversity in Judaism at The Epstein School, where her children are students.

“Only six kids signed up, which is disheartening to me. This should be embedded in the curriculum. Diversity should be taught in arts and crafts and incorporated into history classes.”

According to a recent study, released in May, more than one million of the 7.2 million Jews in the United States are Jews of color. The study, “Counting Inconsistencies,” was conducted by Ilana Kaufman, director of Jews of the Color Field Building Initiative, and Dr. Ari Kelman, the Jim Joseph professor of education and Jewish studies in the Graduate School of Education at Stanford University, who was the lead researcher. That boils down to at least 12 to 15 percent of America’s Jewish population.

There’s been no similar study of

Jews of color in the Atlanta community.

In fact, the Atlanta Jewish community as a whole hasn’t even started the conversation about the racial diversity in its population, according to Rabbi Ruth AbuschMagder, director of education for Be’chol Lashon.

That national organization was founded in 2000 as a response to a “Study of Racial & Ethnic Diversity of the American Jewish Community,” which discovered that 20 percent of America’s then-6 million Jews, or 1.2 million, were African American, Latino/Hispanic, Asian, mixed race, Sephardic and Mizrachi. In other words, Jews who are not solely from Europe, especially Eastern Europe, known as Ashkenazi.

“The white Ashkenazi community doesn’t do a great job of recognizing the historic and current diversity of the Jewish community,” Abusch-Magder told the AJT. “We assume Jews are white and Ashkenazi. We talk about racism as outside the Jewish community, but we don’t talk about it inside.”

Be’chol Lashon works with Jewish day schools around the country, but not yet in Atlanta.

Abusch-Magder says the Atlanta Jewish community needs to have ongoing community-wide discussions rather than one-time events to raise awareness and understanding of the issue and increase emphasis on the Jewish value of welcoming and inclusion. “This is work that will have to happen institution by institution and by the community as a whole,” she said.

A year ago, the AJT reported on one institution that tried to raise awareness of diversity in the Jewish com-

munity. Johnson organized an event at her synagogue, Temple Sinai, at which Jews who are black, brown and biracial told their stories about how they observe their Judaism and what it means to them. At the time she said the idea was “to inspire, inform and encourage our Jewish community to be more racially inclusive by learning, teaching and depicting Jewish diversity in Jewish school curricula, Sunday/Hebrew schools, camps, Jewish day schools, Jewish leadership, Jewish books, Jewish libraries and other media.”

Also about a year ago, The Temple launched its Mosaic program that was designed to help everyone feel welcome, Rabbi Loren Filson Lapidus told the AJT. “We want to help people to remember that not every Jew of color converted” and those who don’t look like you can still be Jewish, she said.

“We need to challenge the assumptions people hold. And a lot of people who want to be inclusive just don’t know how. We want to give them the tools.”

For Sukkot this year, The Temple’s director of engagement, Rabbi Lydia Medwin, organized a Unity Sukkah.

Organizers posted on poles 32 different ways of identifying ourselves — such as married or single, Democrat or Republican, Sephardi or Ashkenazi. About 235 people took balls of yarn and wrapped the yarn around poles that spoke to them, creating the roof of the sukkah.

Lapidus said that so far there isn’t a “critical mass” of Jews of color to make diversity more obvious. But she is seeing more Jews of color in synagogue leadership positions which, she thinks, will make a difference.

She pointed to former Fulton County Commission Chairman John Eaves who is now running for Congress from the 7th Congressional District. In 2017, Eaves wrote an article in the AJT about how he sees himself as a bridge between the black and Jewish populations because he is both. As he wrote, “My grandfather, Cecil Reginald Eaves, converted to Judaism after immigrating to America from Jamaica in 1913. He passed his faith to my father, John Henry Eaves Sr., who in turn passed it on to me.”

Eaves still sees himself as that bridge but “sometimes it gets shaky,” he recently told the AJT. A board member at The Temple, Eaves sees head Rabbi Peter Berg “trying to fill the shoes of the late Rabbi Jacob Rothschild. The social justice arm of The Temple is in that tradition.”

But he admits that he is more im-

PARENTING

Yang Yang, husband Brian Weiss and daughter Ellie.

pacted by being a black in America than being a Jew – partly because it’s more obvious. Trying to describe these two identities, Eaves explained that “My soul is fed when I go to a black church, once I block out the Jesus factor. But my mind is fed when I’m in a synagogue.”

Diversity in the Atlanta Jewish community isn’t just a black and white issue,

The Unity Sukkah at The Temple displayed diverse identities.

however. Brian Weiss and his Chinese wife Yang Yang are both in leadership positions at The Temple. When they moved to Atlanta, like many Jews, they went shul shopping. “For us, it was the right mix of tradition that I grew up with,” Weiss said, “but it also walked the walk of diversity.”

Both Yang and Weiss are members of the board and the Mosaic committee at The

Temple, which includes gender and age diversity, as well as racial or interfaith.

Yang’s choice to convert, and her enthusiasm for becoming Jewish, Weiss said, led to his participation at The Temple.

Although no one has ever asked Yang why she’s in a synagogue, there have been times when the couple has attended other synagogues “and the guy

John Eaves is a third-generation Jew, but often feels more impacted being black than Jewish.

greeting people said ‘Shabbat Shalom’ to Brian and not to me,” said Yang. “It’s still a novelty [to people], but I’m happy to share my story.”

According to Abusch-Magder, “I’ve been doing this work for a decade and I’ve seen more emphasis on diversity, but change will not come quickly enough to fix the problems already there.” ■

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES NOVEMBER 1, 2019 | 17

PARENTING

Atlanta's New Approach to Interfaith Families

By Bob Bahr When Congregation Bet Haverim began its family Sunday School program this week with an abbreviated version of the morning prayer service, Robyn Painter was on the front row, her arms wrapped affectionately across the shoulders of her two young sons. The words and melodies of the “Shema” and the other familiar prayers came to her easily and freely.

But Painter, who has been a member of the synagogue, is a practicing Lutheran, who is bringing up her children as Christians and as Jews. She and her husband Peter, who is Jewish, attend worship services at both a local Lutheran church and at Congregation Bet Haverim, which is affiliated with the Reconstructionist branch of Judaism. They even alternate Sunday schools.

This year Jewish, next year Lutheran.

Yet Painter, who is a civil rights lawyer, and her husband, who is an immigration attorney with a nonprofit legal services corporation, have never felt more fulfilled spiritually.

“I would say that the way we practice religion in our home is more relevant to me than the way I grew up with religion,”

18 | NOVEMBER 1, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

InterfaithFamily hosts discussions on “Love and Religion” for newly married interfaith couples.

she says. “I hope it’s relevant to our kids through the door, regardless of their in the same way.” faith identification. This synagogue was Her decision even has the approval founded on the vision of being radically of Bet Haverim’s rabbi, Josh Lesser, with inclusive.” whom, she says, she conThat welcoming apsulted to find a Lutheran proach to interfaith couples congregation that would be and their children has rea good fit for the couple and ceived the endorsement of their children. the Jewish Federation of Lesser, who has served Greater Atlanta, which earBet Haverim for the past 20 lier this year partially funded years, has no reservations a second rabbi. Bet Haverim's about the way he welcomes PROPEL Innovation Fund all those who attend his Grant has been awarded, inisynagogue. tially for two years.

Rabbi Joshua Lesser “What has been transThe new rabbi is Paformative here is that we treat everyone mela Gottfried, who gave up her position as full human beings when they walk as the longtime dean of Jewish studies at

The Weber School to take on the new challenge. Her job at Bet Haverim is to stimulate greater participation by those in the Atlanta Jewish community who are unaffiliated, in interfaith relationships or not, even if they indicate they wish to remain unaffiliated.

“It’s not about getting people to join.

It’s not about membership,” she emphasized. “It is a totally different model. Basically, the model is about building a bridge to the community, a Jewish bridge.”

The program is part of an ambitious effort in Atlanta to take a much more aggressive approach to reaching out to those who have shunned local congregations, particularly those in interfaith marriages or relationships who have felt unwelcome.

A study of the Atlanta Jewish community funded by the Federation in 2016 found that only 13 percent of interfaith couples feel strongly that they are a part of the local Jewish community. Yet 46 percent felt that they have not had the opportunity to be as Jewish as they would like to be. With the intermarriage rate among non-Orthodox Jews exceeding 72 percent, according to A Portrait of Jewish Americans in 2013 by the Pew Research Center, that’s a big number.

PARENTING

Rabbi Malka Packer-Monroe provides religious and counseling services before and after the interfaith marriages she conducts.

Rabbi Pamela Gottfried heads the new outreach program at Congregation Bet Haverim

To help tackle the problem, the Jewish Federation organized a two-day conference in late April that attracted over 100 religious leaders and other Jewish professionals from as far away as Boston and Denver. Eric Robbins, the Federation’s president and CEO, later characterized the conference as an attempt “to reframe multi-heritage relationships as an opportunity, not an obstacle.”

He later elaborated the need for welcoming interfaith families and individuals for the online publication, eJewish Philanthropy.

“It requires not merely ‘accepting’ partners who aren’t Jewish but truly ‘seeing’ them, learning about their lived experiences and letting them know we honor them.”

Reaching out to the unaffiliated, interfaith Jewish community has been the primary mission of the InterfaithFamily, a national organization supported by over three dozen prominent Jewish funders and philanthropists, including The Marcus Foundation in Atlanta.

InterfaithFamily has offices in a number of American cities, including Atlanta, that bring together interfaith couples in a variety of nontraditional settings and provide rabbinic services and counseling for those seeking help for life cycle events, including marriage.

Heading up the office in Atlanta is Rabbi Malka Packer-Monroe, who works not only with individuals but with Jewish organizations to understand the needs of those she serves, as well as provide an enthusiastic and genuine welcome.

“I think a lot of the institutions here are tolerant. No one wants to be somewhere where they feel like they’re tolerated, but what are you going to do to make me feel like you want me to be here, not just you want my money. So many Jewish organizations, for good reason, are very focused on membership and fees.”

A number of synagogues and temples in Atlanta have worked hard in recent years to make an important commitment to those in interfaith relationships.

Temple Sinai in Sandy Springs has an extensive program for interfaith couples and families and provides free membership for all couples under the age of 32.

Likewise, The Temple defrays the cost of

membership for those in their 30s and has established the Leven Family Jewish Identity Institute with financial support from the CEO of the Georgia Aquarium, Mike Leven, to provide special programming.

Still there are those, particularly socalled millennials in their mid-20s to mid30s, who resist appeals to join a temple or synagogue in favor of a community of friends and acquaintances who meet more informally for dinner and a discussion of how to navigate the complexities of interfaith relationships. That new sense of community is often provided by an organization like InterfaithFamily, according to Rabbi Packer-Monroe.

“Most of these couples that come to me are not affiliated with any Jewish organization, whether it’s synagogue or JCC or anything,” she said. “Some of them are just not looking for that, you know, especially the millennials. And so a lot of the couples we work with are joining like maybe a gym and that’s about it.”

Even for those who choose to join a synagogue like Bet Haverim, there is less emphasis in the family setting on ritual and dogma.

Jason Martin and Jenny Hoffner, who were at the Sunday morning program Oct. 27 and are raising their two children as Jews, often pick and choose elements from the religious tradition each grew up with.

He, with a smattering of Catholicism and she, with a background in Reform Judaism.

“All faiths are connected,” Hoffner said she explains to her children. “We are all one. All these religions are saying the same thing. Chanukah is about light and darkness. It’s about light at a dark time of the year, the winter solstice. The story of Christmas is also a story of a spiritual light in the winter darkness.”

So along with their menorah and the candles, they’ll have a Christmas tree.

Painter and her family also plan an important celebration of Chanukah, with a social service project for the family as part of the celebrations. They are also organizing a big party for one evening that’s midway through the holiday with as many as 150 guests and a band.

They, too, will have a big tree, with a star of David on top. ■ ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES NOVEMBER 1, 2019 | 19

PARENTING

Horvath Bridges Culture Gap

By Marcia Caller Jaffe When Japanese-born Junko “Rivka” Horvath did carpool at Torah Day School, only occasionally did her daughters notice a friend’s quizzical look. The petite and self- confident Horvath said “I raised them to value and embrace this difference and made sure that they had the best Jewish education as well as an observant home life.

From there we all blossomed.”

Horvath’s journey began as a Buddhist in Japan. Attending Georgia Tech Scheller College of Business, she met her future Jewish husband Stephen Horvath. Parents on both sides were somewhat befuddled, but Junko proceeded with a Conservative conversion with Rabbi Arnold Goodman.

She said, “My parents felt that religion was taboo and didn’t want to talk about it. Through our daughter’s friend, we met Rabbi Binyomin Friedman at Congregation Ariel where we are active members today.” Since she felt the passion for a higher level of conversion, Rabbi Friedman arranged for Horvath to go to Baltimore to meet with a rabbi, about 88 at the time, who specialized in Asian conversions.

“I expected it to take one or two years from that point, but it was completed in two weeks,” she said. “He saw my sincerity and depth of knowledge. The bottom line is I didn’t want any gray area or questions about my family for my daughters and their future in-laws.”

She recalled the awkward questions, including a Jewish women’s networking event at which someone

20 | NOVEMBER 1, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

Horvath-Kosman wedding: Dad Stephen “Tzvi” Horvath; Yael Gutman, sister of the bride; mom Junko “Rivka” Horvath; bride Adina Kosman; groom Lozzi Kosman; Avraham “Al” Horvath (z”l ); Claire Horvath; Meir Yaakov Gutman; and Marc Horvath, top right.

approached her, saying, “This lunch is for only Jewish women.” Junko, who is poised and pleasant, doesn’t look at it as being judged, and proceeds to tell her own story.

“They often leave saying ‘I think you know more about Judaism than I do.’”

In seeking a school for the girls, the Horvaths switched their daughters to Torah Day School when Yael was in the fourth grade.

Junko remembered that as a young girl, she herself would have done better at an all girl’s school. Instead, in Japan, she felt that co-mingling with boys made the girls more jealous and difficult. The popular and smart girls

were the biggest targets.

Here she wanted Yael and Adina to be nurtured without this kind of tension or competition. At Temima high school for girls, they had no pressure to date early and thrived, Junko said. After high school, both girls went to a girls’ yeshiva in Israel for a gap year. Yael stayed for a year and Adina, two.

Junko recounts a sensational story in which a wellknown shokran (matchmaker) from Miami was seeking refuge from the hurricane and was invited by the Horvaths to bring the whole family for a week’s stay.

The matchmaker’s rabbi-husband reached out to Rabbi Friedman to assure that the Horvath house was indeed strictly kosher. The matchmaker worked her magic and fast-forward: Adina is a teacher in Silver Springs, Md., where her husband is a law student at Georgetown University. They recently had a baby, making the Horvaths Bubbe and Zayde.

Yael went from Israel to Stern College for Women in N.Y. and met her husband at Yeshiva University. The couple are fourth-year students at Thomas Jefferson University medical school in Philadelphia.

More recently, Junko moved her aging parents, 91 and 86, from Japan to live in her Dunwoody home. “It’s really a full circle as they feel the warmth of the Jewish community here. They look out the window and say ‘Look, the cars are parking early at Rabbi Friedman’s house before the Sabbath.’ They look forward to Shabbos and family meals. It’s very touching.”

Junko is a financial advisor, Certified Financial Planner™ and Certified Financial Transitionist® at Fujiyama Wealth Management, specializing in advising women through transitions like losing a spouse, divorcing, life changes and retirement planning. “When my mother grew up, she had an allowance from my father and was financially dependent. I want to empower women today to understand, grow their own portfolios, and be in charge of their destiny and possibilities.”

Junko also believes in giving back to the community. She has raised thousands for the Torah Day School and more recently for Congregation Ariel with her annual concert, for which she sings Japanese songs and traditional Hebrew and Yiddish tunes.

She concludes, “After all, Ruth was a convert, and I believe that the mashiach (messiah) will come through her.” ■

PARENTING

Challenges, Wonders of Parenting a Middle Schooler When people ask what grade I teach, I like to joke that I only teach children who are shorter than I am. Since I’m not very tall, this unwritten rule has kept me in the elementary grades for my 24 years of teaching. The challenge that I should have seen coming is that my own children are built like their dad, Cari Newman who is well over 6 feet tall.

Now I find myself in the unfamiliar world of adolescents. Luckily, my husband teaches high school, so he’s well-versed in the ways of these mysterious man-children, but I’ve found that parenting teenagers is not so different from parenting young children. While teens might not appreciate the comparison, the fact is that both early childhood and adolescence are times of amazing learning and growth, and of predictable and unexpected leaps forward socially, emotionally and academically.

Because of this unexpected connection, I’ve been able to mine some wisdom from being a parent and teacher of younger children and apply it to raising my teenage boys. And while our Jewish tradition teaches us that we must be active and proactive as parents, it also teaches us other, perhaps more subtle, lessons. Here are three takeaways that are working for my family right now (results, of course, may vary): 1. Be a houseplant: I remember when my boys were young, I felt like I couldn’t take my eyes off them for a moment. As they got older and I no longer

had to worry about them darting into the street or exacting vigilante justice on each other, I could let them go farther afield.

Now, as they make their own social plans and start to drive, it seems they need my presence even less. But it’s critically important for parents to be present in the lives of their teenagers. I don’t just mean going to games or taking photos for dances, I mean putting down my phone and being around, quiet and unobtrusive, but decidedly present.

Rabbi Alan Lew, known as the ‘Zen Rabbi,’ taught about the importance of being present and fully in the moment, and I think this applies to parenting adolescents, too.

One mom I know likened this to being a houseplant. Not saying much or making a big deal. Just being present.

2. Leave the rocks in the road: No matter how much I want to smooth the path of life for my children, doing so would deny them the opportunity to practice and learn how to manage the bumps.

Even though it’s hard to see them struggle at things I could deal with — having a difficult conversation with a teacher or friend or getting through particularly challenging homework — so much of the learning they do as adolescents is the result of trying, falling down and trying again, or trying, succeeding and realizing, “Whoa, I did that.”

The best thing I can do for them is be present, hold space and ask if they want to process together. The next best thing

I can do is continue to offer stability in the form of our family’s traditions, like welcoming Shabbat together. Even if the rest of the world is full of unpredictable people and too much homework, my kids know we will have dinner together every night, and on Friday, there will always be singing and blessings and challah.

3. Open the gate: A parenting book I read when my boys were young talked about offering kids limited choices. For example, if they don’t want to clean up their room, offer them the choice between cleaning their room before or after brushing teeth.

While the children I’ve taught and raised see straight through this strategy, they do find power in choice. This is especially terrifying to me as a parent when I think about the overwhelming number of choices my boys will make every day as teenagers: Should I talk on the phone while driving? Should I be friends with that person? Should I lean in or out when people are talking about G-d or politics? Honestly, I just want to lock the gate and keep them safe. What if they make the wrong choice?

What if they get in trouble or get hurt?

When I take some deep breaths and talk myself off the parenting ledge, I recognize that adolescence is the best time to open the gate and let them practice making good decisions.

Rabbi Harold Kushner, a well-known Conservative rabbi and author, says that there’s no morality without choice, that if our choices are pre-determined, then they aren’t really choices at all. Goodness only exists if we can choose it over its alternative. This kind of experimentation, self-reflection and growth is an intentional part of how I teach

my class. Elementary school, especially as children move toward adolescence in middle school, is the ideal time for children to experiment with their choices. We give them all the choice we can manage within their day: choices about how to approach their work, how to show what they’ve learned, and information to help them make good choices as friends and community members.

It’s tempting to want to keep kids on a short leash at home and at school, to keep them tightly scheduled and highly supervised, and to save them from their own hormonal unpredictability and poor decision-making skills. That’s understandable.

It’s fair to want to remind them all about our hard-won “wisdom” and our values, and so we dare to annoy them with our care and vigilance. But, if we lean too far in this direction, we risk taking away some of the most important building blocks of their development into young adults.

Perhaps what has been most interesting and personally revelatory is that both my students’ and my teenage children’s choices and changes have necessitated my own. While I won’t get any taller, I will undoubtedly keep refining my perspective on what constitutes good parenting and teaching. ■ Cari Newman is a third-generation Atlantan. She teaches at High Meadows School in Roswell. Her two sons are in seventh grade at High Meadows and ninth grade at The Weber School. They are members of Congregations Shearith Israel and B’nai Torah.

Parenting expert Wendy Mogel speaks at the school 6:30 to 8 p.m. Nov. 14. Learn more and register at http://bit.ly/2Z6qouH.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES NOVEMBER 1, 2019 | 21

PARENTING

POW! Pop-Up Circle Offers Women Chance to Give

By Jan Jaben-Eilon Atlanta’s Jewish women will have an opportunity to experience what it means to be a trustee of the Jewish Women’s Fund of Atlanta Nov. 10 at the city’s first ever POW! Power of Women Pup-Up Cicle, which will be held at Temple Sinai.

A pop-up giving circle is a stand-alone event during which the women in attendance will hear live presentations from three different programs that focus on girls, after which they will decide together how to allocate the money raised at the event among those programs.

Cost of the evening is $180 per person, with daughters aged 14 to 18 joining for no additional cost. “The money collected that night will go out that night,” said Rachel Wasserman, executive director of the Jewish Women’s Fund of Atlanta.

“This idea has been in the works for years,” she said.

A similar group to JWFA in Chicago recently sponsored a pop-up circle and “I heard it was successful and fun.”

The circle requires no pre- or post-work by participants. “It’s a way for people to amplify their contributions,” Wasserman told the AJT. All three projects already receive funding from the JWFA. The organization has allocated $20,000 over the past two years to the Young Women in STEM Career Fair and Mentoring Program, Wasserman said. The partnership of the Atlanta Jewish Academy and The Weber School sponsors the program to increase young girls’ access to and interest in the STEM disciplines of science,

Rachel Wasserman hopes the pop-up circle will become an annual event.

Rebecca Stapel-Wax says SOJOURN’s presentation will be a dramatization between a teen and parent.

technology, engineering and math. The program includes a one-day career fair as well as year-round mentoring opportunities for female high school students in the Atlanta area.

JWFA has allocated $15,000 over the last two years to JumpSpark’s Strong Women Fellowship. “It was a

pilot when we first supported it,” Wasserman said. “It provides access to strong Jewish leaders in monthly sessions that address issues that are important to women.”

The program not only prepares teens to be strong leaders, but also advocates while incorporating a peer training model.

The third program that will be presented at the pop-up circle received $10,000 from JWFA for a pilot sponsored by SOJOURN: Southern Jewish Resource Network for Gender and Sexual Diversity. The new program will provide the missing educational piece of sex education for Jewish LGBTQ teens.

According to SOJOURN Executive Director Rebecca Stapel-Wax, “There’s been an expectation for a long time that everything is a male and female relationship, and that’s not the world we live in. In the last five years, we’ve seen so many folks who don’t identify in a binary way. They don’t feel male or female solely, may feel both or neither. This program targets all of them and their allies.” It also targets parents at two of the eight three-hour segments.

The sessions will cover topics such as contraception, infections, intimacy, mental health and self-care, as well as the consequences of sexual relations. “We focused on girls in our proposal to the Jewish Women’s Fund because they’re often the ones who take on the responsibility. They can get diseases or pregnant and with the laws changing about abortion, they need to know the real consequences.”

At the pop-up session, for its presentation, SOJOURN will “set up a scenario with a parent and teen sharing what goes on in discussions in households. It will be a dramatization,” explained Stapel-Wax. “This program could be a model across the country.”

Likewise, Wasserman said she hopes that the popup circle idea catches on in the Atlanta area. “I would love to see it become an annual event.” ■ To sign up for the evening event, women can register by going to https://jewishatlanta.org/jewish-womens-fundof-atlanta-2019-event-registration/. Walk-ins are also welcome.

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PARENTING

Testimonial: How PAL Impacts This Family’s Journey We wanted to take some time to really share the difference that Jewish Family & Career Services, and especially the PAL program, has meant to our family and the ways in which it has contributed so deeply to our lives.

We are a two-parent family with two boys who are currently 11 and 14 years of age. My husband and I married later in life, and when we came together, we both were fully employed with good careers and entered the marriage without debt. We were members of a synagogue, and our boys participated in the JCC preschool and summer camp programs. We thought we were creating a happy and healthy Jewish family and were living a traditional Jewish family life in suburban Dunwoody.

As our kids got older however, our older son was diagnosed with ADHD at age 8, and later with Asperger’s syndrome at age 13. Our younger son was also diagnosed with ADHD and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Initially, given how high functioning the boys are, it was not obvious to us or anyone else. So, for about seven years, we spent many of our resources with various psychologists, counselors and physical, occupational and speech therapists just trying to “figure out” what the holes were and how to fill them.

The journey exhausted much of our emotional and mental reserves and was financially draining as well.

By the time we started counseling at JF&CS, we were already in significant debt, and my husband and I were both emotionally and mentally exhausted. We were both still working, and it was difficult to meet the kids’ needs, and keep our jobs and marriage stable.

After years of sending one of our children to a Jewish day school that tried, but ended up not meeting his needs, and then a public charter school that also was not a good fit, we decided to send both of them to a specialized program designed for their disabilities. The total cost of both of our sons’ education is more than my annual salary, and we live off my husband’s income, and are still paying off all our accumulated debt. We refinanced the house and cut our expenses. We could no longer do many things we used to take for granted as a middle class family, like eating out, going to movies, or going on an outing as a family.

We just don’t have any “extra” money to spend.

Even socially, we lost many of the friends we had early on because our kids, and therefore our families, were on a different path, and those paths diverged. Most people would look at our lives and they would see all the materialistic things we do have, but looks can be deceiving and no one ever really knows what’s behind a person’s closed door.

For us, being a part of the PAL program gave us some of our life back, the life that we envisioned having when we decided to create a family. We get the opportunity to socialize with other families going through similar challenges.

Our younger son gets to experience that even more often because he gets that relief and fun whenever he spends time alone with his Big PAL. They have a great bond and given all the challenges our family faces, it’s such a blessing to know that the pals can have that time together, and our son gets some breathing room with someone else that he trusts and loves. We have no local family and a small extended family who are not actively involved in our daily lives. So, this bond between Big and Little PAL is a cherished one.

It’s so easy for my husband and me to lose sight of how great our boys really are because we are so busy “doing” for them day in and day out. The PAL program gives us the opportunity to see them through a different window. We laugh together, create a positive memory together, and for those couple of hours, all the stresses of our lives are left behind, and we get to celebrate and enjoy each other.

One interesting fact we should also share as a PAL participant family is that had we not been getting counseling at JF&CS and had our counselor not shared that she thought our son would be eligible, we never would have inquired. We did see all the ads and flyers about the PAL program and had heard of it, but we assumed that it was a program for families going through difficult times such a divorce, serious illness or death. It was for families with “real need” and life changing events in their lives. We had to be told that our situation counted,

that PALs can also be matched to a sibling if one child has a disability. I’m so grateful for that.

We can’t be more thankful for the impact the PAL program has on a group of people who, on the outside, may easily look like they have it all. In truth, none of us really have it all, and all of us need each other to get through the journey. The PAL program and all the people who make it possible are really giving us a priceless gift, and it’s one that will be remembered and cherished for a lifetime. ■ The parent who authored this submission asked to remain anonymous.

The PAL Program’s annual fundraiser, Havinagala, will be Saturday, Jan. 25 at Sweetwater Brewing Co. For more information about the PAL Program or Havinagala, visit www.jfcsatl.org.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES NOVEMBER 1, 2019 | 23

PARENTING

Test Optional Admissions: Seniors Beware “Cancel my SAT tutoring,” the high school student said to his parent. “I don’t need to take either the SAT or ACT in order to apply to college.”

The parent replied, “Of course you need to take either or both of those tests.” “But, mother, there are around 1,000 colleges that accept applications Mark without either test now.”

Let’s look at this phenom- Fisher enon. Each week another college is added to the list of test optional colleges. We are not looking at colleges which many people didn’t even know exist – some, very small. However, long ago Bates College (1984) and Bowdoin College (1969) both went test optional and they are selective in the admissions process. Those colleges seemed to be an oddity. There wasn’t a stampede to test optional admissions.

To better understand the admissions process, let’s look at the criteria. What do colleges look at for each applicant? Courses and rigor of classes for sure, one’s GPA, then SAT or ACT scores. If you don’t believe that, look at the test tutoring companies and individual tutors, plus online test prep programs. Extra-

curricular activities, especially sports and leadership, counselor and teacher recommendations, and sometimes, the interview, demonstrated interest, the essay and special talents.

Now, in many cases, SAT/ ACT scores sometimes disappear. What happened and why? And, do they really fade in the background? Are they even seen by admissions?

Colleges let you know that they look at their submitted scores, but that is only one factor. Then, why do colleges aim to get the best scores possible for their institution? The U.S. News & World Report rankings consider scores in their ranking. No wonder colleges want the best scores possible. Why do parents run to have their children tutored for these tests? Who can afford the tutoring? The wealthier you are the more clients you provide for the tutors.

That leaves the low-income families with less help in the process. So, how can colleges gain a more diverse population? Not from families that can’t afford help for their child.

Most importantly, studies by the colleges that did become test optional found

no major difference between accepted students who submitted their scores and those who did not.

So what exactly does test optional really mean? If the colleges do not need scores, the big emphasis is still on courses, grades and rigor of the curriculum.

Low grades usually will not get one far.

Yes, there are talented students with low grades who, for one reason or another, will be wonderful college students. And, that is not just low-income or economically disadvantaged students. Or, first generation students. However, certainly all the other factors listed above may mean an acceptance letter.

For the student excited about test optional: buyer beware. You think that you are off the hook by not sending your scores.

But the catch is that some test optional colleges will not consider you for merit scholarships without the scores. Thus, a 4.0 GPA will get you zero money without your test scores. Yet, other colleges will consider you for merit money without those scores.

Therefore, read the fine print!

In addition, athletes may still be required to send scores for Division 1 and 2 colleges. Home-schooled students are another group that may always need SAT/ACT scores. Which schools are test optional? See, www.fairtest.org. Realize that each week it seems that another college is added to the list.

Another possibility is “test flexible,” where students may send a combination of AP, SAT, Subject Tests and others. Here, the college at least wants some of your best scores.

Test optional allows a student with great grades but low test scores to apply to a certain college and not worry that the scores will mean a denial. True, selective colleges let you know that they view the student holistically and then you see

OPEN HOUSE

Mark Fisher is a college and career consultant at Fisher Educational Consultants, www.fishereducationalconsultants.com, and a consultant for the College Planning Institute, www.GotoCPI.com.

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their scores that are higher than your SAT/ACT scores. Or, don’t always believe what you hear.

Colleges do benefit from the test-optional option. How? I. Improves diversity by accepting more low-income and minority students who don’t have the advantages that wealthier students possess.

2. In the world of college rankings, the college does not have to report scores lower than their usual scores. Afterall, scores are a part of the rankings. Students with high scores are favored by the colleges. Without lower scores, the ranking situation will not change because an accepted student had lower scores than what the college desired.

3. These colleges seem to generate more applications since students who realize that their scores would not help them gain an acceptance letter would not otherwise apply. For the college, that means more applicants, and as a result, more students could be denied, and their acceptance rate looks even better.

What are a few of the selective colleges/universities that are test optional? Bates, Bowdoin, Wesleyan (Conn.), Brandeis, Franklin & Marshall, Muhlenberg, Bucknell and George Washington.

Now the bombshell: The University of Chicago, usually ranked in the top 10 colleges in the country, has now gone test optional. Furthermore, unlike most of the test optional colleges, those who apply for merit scholarships there are still eligible without the scores. Will Chicago’s peers follow its lead? Time will tell. ■

November 10th, 8pm-9pm @ The home of the Afrah’s in Toco Hills 1378 Biltmore Drive NE. 30329

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PARENTING

Up in Smoke And poof! Just like that due to the addictive nature the hope that vaping was of nicotine. There are other a safe alternative to cigacancer-causing chemicals rettes has gone up in smoke. in the vapor itself plus the But did we really believe it vapors are causing burn was safe? Finally, we are injuries to the lungs. But hearing about the dangers perhaps most timely, we are of vaping. Over 1,300 people seeing a rise in a number of have developed an acute patients with severe acute lung injury and 30 have lung injury that seems to died in the past few months Dr. Pip be associated with vaping.

Spandorfer from vaping.

These previously healthy Vaping (or using e-cigyoung patients are presentarettes to inhale a vapor) began in the ing with severe respiratory distress and early 2000s and now JUUL, an e-ciga- requiring significant medical support. rette company, has 75 percent of the U.S. Although the mechanism behind the market. JUUL is like the iPhone in the lung injury is not known, it is connected vaping market and is what all the kids to vaping. There is an association with are using. vaping devices bought off the street Ironically, JUUL’s official position rather than at a retail location. Furtheris to refrain from selling their products more, it seems as if there may be more to teens. Ask any high schooler and they lung injury if the vapor contains mariwill tell you that there is a lot of JUUL- juana. But I don’t want anyone to think ing going on. Even middle school kids that it is still OK to buy a vaping product will tell you that it is happening. To- from a retail location. It still isn’t good day’s middle and high school kids aren’t for you. smoking cigarettes anymore. But ask What should you do as a parent? if they know someone who JUULs or if First, educate yourself about vaping. Do someone has used a JUUL pod at their your homework. Look up JUUL on the school and the answer will almost cer- internet. Google search the JUUL Instainly be a “yes.” tagram posts. Go to drugfree.org. Then JUUL has been very successful have an open conversation with your marketing to children through their kids. Avoid conversation-ending statesocial media outreach, particularly on ments like, “it is bad for you” or “just Instagram. Their models are young and don’t do it.” You need to talk to your kids cool, perfect targets of the impression- about these things because kids are talkable teens. This marketing campaign is ing about them, seeing them, and doing as concerning as when the big tobacco them. This is a fight that we are losing companies would have cartoon charac- right now; vaping is a big part of the ters as part of their logo; remember Joe teen social scene. The anti-vape message Camel from Camel cigarettes? His brand needs to be clear, and unfortunately, the recognition was as strong as Mickey health aspect is not the answer. We want Mouse for Disney World. our kids to fight peer pressure, fight the The JUUL device looks like a USB system. flash drive, so parents think it is an in#novape #DrPip.com. ■ nocuous storage drive for school. You actually plug it into the USB port to Dr. Spandorfer is a local pediatrician charge it. Furthermore, the flavors of in practice for over 20 years and an active JUUL pods are appealing to kids, such as member of Congregation Etz Chaim in cotton candy, fruit and mango.

Marietta.

JUUL has recently agreed to FDA requests to stop producing some flavors to decrease the attraction for the younger kids, and furthermore, the CEO has recently stepped down so JUUL can focus its marketing on adults who already smoke.

But with all that as a background, what is the danger of vaping? Well, the obvious problem is addiction. These products contain nicotine; one JUUL pod is equivalent to 20 regular cigarettes.

We know that 90 percent of smokers have tried and failed to quit smoking

11th ANNUAL ROTHSCHILD LECTURE

EVENING LECTURE

HARVEY MILK through a JEWISH LENS DR. LILLIAN FADERMAN MONDAY, NOVEMBER 18 7:30 PM Oxford Presentation Room 1390 Oxford Road Emory University LILLIAN FADERMAN is an internationally known scholar of lesbian and LGBT history and literature, as well as ethnic history and literature. Copies of Dr. Faderman’s award-winning book, Harvey Milk: His Lives and Death, will be available for purchase.

Photo by Daniel Nicoletta

This event is free and open to the public.

Please join us for a reception following the lecture.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES NOVEMBER 1, 2019 | 25

CALENDAR CANDLE-LIGHTING TIMES

NOVEMBER 1 – NOVEMBER 18

28th Edition of the Book Festival of the MJCCA – Marcus JCC, 5342 Tilly Mill Road, Atlanta. More than 45 authors, two epic weeks. For times, prices and more information, www.atlantajcc.org/bookfestival.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 2

Fall Colors Guided Canoe Trip – Chattahoochee Nature Center, 9135 Willeo Road, Roswell, at 3 p.m. Saturdays and Sundays, November 2, 3, 9, 10. These are the final opportunities to paddle with CNC until spring 2020. Take in the vibrant colors of the trees before they fade into winter. Paddle quietly along the Chattahoochee River, listening to the sounds of the river and its wildlife. Ages 6 and up. $35 per person for the general public, $30 CNC members. To register and for more information, www.bit.ly/2CmG71Y.

Noach Friday, November 1, 2019, light candles at 6:27 p.m.

Saturday, November 2, 2019, Shabbat ends at 7:22 p.m.

Lech-Lecha Friday, November 8, 2019, light candles at 5:21 p.m.

Saturday, November 9, 2019, Shabbat ends at 6:17 p.m.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 4

Café Europa for Holocaust Survivors – Congregation Beth Jacob, 1855 Lavista Road, Atlanta, from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. Cafe Europa is a social gathering for Holocaust survivors at Congregation Beth Jacob held the last Monday of the month. It includes entertainment or a speaker and a kosher catered lunch. Free. For more information, www.bit.ly/2MEdRxG

Blood Drive – Ahavath Achim Synagogue, 600 Peachtree Battle Ave. NW, Atlanta, from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. Every day blood donors help patients of all ages: accident and burn victims, heart surgery and organ transplant patients, and those battling cancer. In fact, every two seconds, someone in the U.S. needs blood. Schedule an appointment through the American Red Cross. Free.

For more information, www.aasynagogue.org.

Breman Jewish Heritage Museum, 1440 Spring St. NW, Atlanta, from 7:00 to 8:30 p.m. Join The Breman Museum for a panel discussion on the threat of modern anti-Semitism. Learn about how the threat of anti-Semitism endangers us and what we can do to oppose it. $10 per adult. For more information, www.bit.ly/2MwQowe.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 5

JLI Worrier to Warrior – Chabad Intown on the BeltLine, 730 Ponce De Leon Place NE, Atlanta, from 8 to 9:30 p.m. six Tuesday and Thursday evenings, Nov. 5 to 19. People yearn to feel happy, self-assured and enthusiastic, yet they’re often consumed by feelings

Find more events and submit items for our online and print calendars at:

www.atlantajewishconnector.com

Calendar sponsored by the Atlanta Jewish Connector, an initiative of the AJT. In order to be considered for the print edition, please submit events two weeks in advance. Contact community relations director, Jen Evans, for more information at jen@atljewishtimes.com.

26 | NOVEMBER 1, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

of doubt, regret, insecurity and suffering. Do our delicate positive emotions have a fighting chance at being in control? This course explores negative emotions in a completely new light, offering spiritual mechanisms that allow us to remain upbeat no matter what life brings. $99 for a single reservation, $169 for a double reservation. For more information, www.bit.ly/2Ph2CuT.

Open Play Games (Mahjong, Bridge, etc.) – Marcus JCC, 5342 Tilly Mill Road, Atlanta, from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Get your game on at the MJCCA. Open play tables are set up every week on MJCCA’s Main Street on Mondays and Wednesdays for you to enjoy popular strategy and skill games while making new friends. Free for members, $5 for nonmembers. For more information, www.bit.ly/2H6mYRt.

Caregiving and the Challenge of Dementia – The Cohen Home, 10485

Panel Discussion on the Threats of Modern Anti-Semitism – William

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 3

profit website in the world out of the over 3,500 ranked in Alexa’s environmental category. $36 per person. For more information, www.bit.ly/2N2bUYG.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 6

Perry Brickman, ‘Extracted,’ & Sherry Frank, ‘A Passion to Serve: Memoirs of a Jewish Activist,’ Sponsored by the Atlanta Jewish Times – Marcus JCC, 5342 Tilly Mill Road, Atlanta, at 12 p.m. In Conversation with Gail Evans, former executive vice president, CNN and best-selling author. Join the Marcus JCC for an author talk with Perry Brickman, “Extracted,” and Sherry Frank, “A Passion to Serve: Memoirs of a Jewish Activist.” A reception hosted by the AJT will immediately follow this event. Please join us for coffee, tea and desserts. $10 for members, $15 for nonmembers. For more information, www.bit. ly/33KWfns.

JBN Adventures in Marketing – Chabad Intown on the BeltLine, 730 Ponce De Leon Place NE, Atlanta, from 6:30 to 9:30 p.m. With Joel Babbit, CEO of Narrative Content Group, one of the nation’s leading content marketing companies. Founded in 2009 by Babbit and Rolling Stones keyboardist Chuck Leavell, Narrative’s equity partners include CNN and Discovery Communications and its flagship property, Mother Nature Network. MNN.com is the most visited for-

Jones Bridge Road, Johns Creek, from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Metulla Hadassah sponsors speaker Nancy Kriseman, LCSW, Geriatric Consulting Services, author of “The Mindful Caregiver” and “Meaningful Connections.” This will be a workshop focused on becoming mindful caregivers. $5 per person. For more information, contact Judy Roseman, judyroseman@comcast.net.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 7

JCC Kristallnacht Ceremony – Marcus JCC, 5342 Tilly Mill Road, Atlanta, from 6:30 to 7:15 p.m. All are invited to a Kristallnacht commemoration ceremony at the JCC, which will feature Gillian Walnes Perry, author of “The Legacy of Anne Frank.” In her book, Walnes Perry explores the complex life of Anne Frank’s father and the motivations that powered his educational philosophy. The brief ceremony will also include a choir performance and the lighting of the six torches. The program will take place at the beautiful Besser Holocaust Memorial Garden.

Free. For more information, www.bit. ly/342VlD5.

NOVEMBER 1-11 FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 8

Second Friday Community Shabbat Dinner – Chabad Intown on the BeltLine, 730 Ponce De Leon Place NE, Atlanta, from 5:30 to 8:30 p.m. Join Chabad Intown and the Intown Jewish community for Shabbat dinner. Share traditional and new Shabbat dishes while enjoying the company of new and old friends. $25 per adult, $10 per child. For more information, www.bit.ly/2PpuVJg.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 10

Because We Have Daughters – Atlanta Jewish Academy, 5200 Northland Drive, Atlanta, Because We Have Daughters provides a unique opportunity for fathers and daughters to deepen their relationships, connect with other dads, help their daughters become leaders and gain skills and tools to have meaningful, constructive communication and interaction with their daughters. Dads bring your daughters, ages 8 to 14, and join in an afternoon of fun activities, conversation and connection. Free. RSVP, Rebecca Brown, rbrown@jfcsatl.org or call 770-6779371.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 11

Divorce & Separation Support Group – Jewish Family & Career SerAcoustic Shabbat Café @ Crema Espresso Gourmet – Crema Espresso Gourmet, 2458 Mt. Vernon Road, Dunwoody, from 7 to 8:15 p.m. Join Rabbi Brian Glusman, Drew Cohen and teen musicians from The Weber School for an evening of music and Shabbat prayers. Food and wine available for purchase. This interactive Shabbatthemed experience is sponsored by Atlanta Jewish Music Festival and The Weber School. Free. For more information, www.bit.ly/33ToaBw.

vices, 4549 Chamblee Dunwoody Road, Atlanta, from 6 to 8 p.m. Join this biweekly support group facilitated by Helen Kotler Ph.D., LPC. $25 per session. To join the group, hkotler@jfcsatl.org or call 404-210-9571.

An Evening with Anita Diamant – Congregation Etz Chaim, 1190 Indian Hills Parkway NE, Marietta, from 7 to 9 p.m. Join Rising Tide and MACoM for a festive evening of storytelling and conversation with New York Times best-selling author Anita Diamant.

Hear from Atlanta Jewish middle and high school students as they share the meaning of Jewish ritual in their lives as we recognize the winners of the My Jewish Ritual: Creative Arts and Writing Contest. Dessert and coffee will be served. $24 per person. For more information, www.bit.ly/2N4Sa6F.

Judaic Needlework Meetings – Off

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 9

Anat Cohen Tentet, Musical Director Oded Lev-Ari – Morgan Hall, Bailey Performance Center, 488 Prillaman Way NW, Kennesaw, from 8 to 10 p.m.

Ever charismatic, prolific and inspired, Grammy-nominated clarinetist-saxophonist Anat Cohen has won hearts and minds the world over with her expressive virtuosity and delightful stage presence. Cohen has been declared Clarinetist of the Year by the Jazz Journalists Association every year since 2007 and has also been named the Top Clarinetist, Rising Star, and Jazz Artist of the Year by Downbeat magazine. For prices, tickets and more information, www.bit.ly/31Cik63.

North Shallowford Road and I-285, Atlanta, at 7 p.m. The Pomegranate Guild of Judaic Needlework is an international organization devoted to needlework traditions through the sharing of handcrafted items for both Jewish ritual and every day cultural use. $45 for an annual membership. For meeting location and more information, email peachstatestitch@aol.com.

Kabbalah of the Supernatural – Chabad Intown on the BeltLine, 730 Ponce De Leon Place NE, Atlanta, from 8 to 9:30 p.m. Join in for an otherworldly learning adventure as we explore Talmudic and kabbalistic teachings on the supernatural forces in the universe. $36 per ticket. For more information, www.bit.ly/2MB4Q6s. ■ ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES NOVEMBER 1, 2019 | 27

DINING Inventive Globe-Trotting Mexi-Pop

By Marcia Caller Jaffe Just to funk up Buckhead’s off-beat cum Cherokee Country Club blue hair vibe, imagine chilling on West Paces Ferry on communal benches watching the Maseratis roll by while eating a $3.95 taco that is actually good!

Dallas-based Velvet Taco recently opened in the Buckhead Market Place on the east end of the Whole Foods Market center. Velvet Taco explores the edge of regional and multi-cultural boundaries with the guiding motto “set my tacos free.”

Now a word about tacos: Jason Snelson, director of Velvet Taco operations, prepped us with a history of Mexican silver mines, where the taco was used as a place holder and has since become a symbol of fun food in different cultures. Tacos were pieces of paper wrapped around gunpowder and shaped like a stick of dynamite.

Tacos today are associated with lower class Mexican street food. Some in the U.S. say that the chain Taco Bell brought it into our food mix.

Velvet Taco funks up the fusion by offering chef-driven tacos from several cultures in addition to Mexican: Israeli,

Photo by Velvet Taco // A multi-cultural, globe-trotting row

of tacos all made from scratch in-house.

Japanese, Korean, Cuban, even Nashvillian, and Indian is a popular choice. The menu has 20 varieties in categories of about four each. There are no salads and only one dessert, a tongue-in-cheek Red Velvet cake.

Our favorites were the raw ahi poke with sesame soy vinaigrette, arugula, pickled onions, pickled fresnos, seaweed salad, pickled ginger, black sesame seeds, all wrapped in lettuce (we had the wasabi cream on the side) or “poke in no bowl” all the way at $6.75.

The National Center For Civil and Human Rights Presents

Movie Music and The American Spirit The Southern Roots of an American Revolution 1945 – 1960

How movies, popular music and spirituality shaped the modern civil and human rights struggle in America.

A Seminar with Bob Bahr The National Center for Civil and Human Rights November 3 – December 1, 2019 Register at www.civilandhumanrights.org/mmas-course

28 | NOVEMBER 1, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

The street view to The St. Regis and West Paces Ferry is quite lively.

The equally wonderful falafel with there is no traditional table service. When tahini, tomato, avocado, pickled red on- your order is ready, they blast a friendly ion, pea tendrils, also lettuce-wrapped is “Marcia! (your name here) Taco Time!”

Brunch tacos are served all day. Each at $3.95. The favs in flour tortillas were the Nashville Hot Tofu (“whoa the fire”) with Wednesday, they introduce a global, innapa slaw, house brined pickles, (ranch season Weekly Taco Feature labeled “WTF.” A $20 Backdoor cream on the Chicken Special side) at $3.75 is a bagged toand the Fried go offering with Paneer with tosides. Beverages mato chutney, are the signature tikka sauce, raita house-made Kickcream, Thai basil Ass Margarita, loat $3.75. A delical and Mexican cious special item beer on tap and (the only thing in in cans, craft sored on the postdas, fruit-infused age card-sized iced teas, and mimenu) is the Photo by Velvet Taco // Taco, top left, mosas available Grilled Salmon ahi poke, tuna taco, left, alongside a on weekends. with napa slaw, crimson hibiscus taco, on right.

The place roasted corn pico, micro cilantro, (on the side avocado crema) gets rocking late, with some nights open with the outrageous spunk of wrapping it until 3 a.m. Former Atlanta Mayor Sam Massell used to say, “Nothing good hapin a crimson red hibiscus tortilla for $5.50.

So the answer to the question: Can pens after 2 a.m. in Buckhead.” Maybe he Velvet Taco prepare so many different fla- could reconsider. Mornings vary, opening at 10 or 11 a.m. vors and styles well? A Velvet Taco plans a resounding “Yes!” second location in West Adding to the élan Midtown in 2020. The are the metal flat acfirst location opened in cordion crinkle-shaped Dallas in 2011. platters that make for If you’re up for serving ease and zigmore indulgence, right zag presentation. The next door is the new Je2,500-square-foot inteni’s Splendid Ice Cream. rior mimics an exposed Talk about a yumster ceiling industrial space night out! ■ but feels small. Desklike tables are set up Lots of action takes place in Velvet Taco is locatalong the windows. the Velvet Taco order line. ed at 77 West Paces Ferry When we arrived at 7 on a Saturday night, the order line had Road. Parking was limited on a Saturday only a handful of customers that moved night. Taking up spaces for Whole Foods quickly. When we left at 8:15 p.m., the line could result in booting. A half block walk on was snake-like with a wait. Know that a side street would work.

COMMUNITY SIMCHA SPOTLIGHT

B’nai Mitzvah Notices

Jason Lewis Levine, son of Julie and Billy Levine, on Oct. 26.

Hannah Klein, daughter of Amy Birnbaum and Dr. Adam Klein, on Oct. 26.

Have something to celebrate?

Births, B’nai Mitzvah, Engagements, Weddings, Anniversaries, Special Birthdays and more ...

Share it with your community with free AJT simcha announcements.

Send info to submissions@atljewishtimes.com.

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www.hajewelry.com ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES NOVEMBER 1, 2019 | 29

COMMUNITY

Sukkot that Bring Down the House Here are the entries in our annual Sukkah Contest. We asked community members to submit a photo with a brief description of their sukkah and the coolest or most unique aspect of it.

Steve and Heleen Grossman Sandy Springs, GA On Oct. 19 we hosted our Annual Bene fit Sukkot Party and Music Jam – free. All dona tions went to the Atlanta Community Food Bank.

Yelena Hertzberg Toco Hills, GA ple Rain.”

I called our sukkah theme this year “Pur first the d raine it e sinc g fittin quite me It beca in it. eat to able night of Sukkot and we weren’t white the from e cam r déco My inspiration for the r Thei l. roya felt They d. hase purc had goblets I uetbanq l roya a regal nature inspired me to create gn. desi ah sukk all style tablescape and over

The Davis Academy Atlanta, GA e Moore Mechina welcomes guest-reader Halli ah, sukk (fifth-grader) to their classroom g guests participating in the mitzvah of welcomin gest youn ’s emy Acad s Davi The ah. to their sukk to help ty rtuni oppo ial spec the have ents stud ah. build and decorate their classroom sukk 30 | NOVEMBER 1, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

Judy Marx and Eric Miller Piedmont Park, GA ge On the deck of a 1928 Craftsman cotta h mes n gree has near Piedmont Park. It ch. sides and naturally-grown bamboo s’cha / bring may ah sukk our to ed invit yone Ever ction colle a is r déco create an ornament. The y. as old as our family and as new as toda

Marsha and Jan Spector Toco Hills, GA hand-painted sukkah Our table is set with my wife’s special n species of seve the and im etrog china decorated with as the side walls are Israel. We can have an open air sukkah een the posts so betw gaps all 42 inches high with narrow Jewish law. cha, hala to rding acco they qualify as walls

Melissa Wikoff East Cobb, GA It was the first time our family built a sukkah. It had traditional fruit, but we decorated with tropical flowers and our children made decoratio ns to make it extra special and unique. We used PVC pipes and my husband felt like Super Mario when he assembled it. Coolest or most uniq ue aspect: The fairy lights and the drawings and paper chains our kids, Avital, 4, and Benji, 1, made!

Claire Peck Sandy Springs, GA us in our Our 13 grandchildren are always with paintings my to os phot sukkah. I have added their see to love ren child The rs. acte of biblical char n I first whe were they age the at s selve them unique created the canvas panels. The most onal. pers ly high is ah sukk thing is that our

Abby Frantz Sandy Springs, GA This sukkah is part of Jewish Family & Career Services. It was decorated by the adul ts of IndependenceWORKS, a JF&CS program serving adults with developmental disa bilities.

COMMUNITY

Liz Rowland Dunwoody, GA rating our We look forward to building and deco hosting love We . year y ever ly fami a as sukkah alike! ds frien old our families, new friends, and ing! nam baby a ed host ah This year our sukk

Stan Beiner Sandy Springs, GA Our theme this year was Cirque de Succoth. We combined fruit with a midway! Coolest or most unique aspe ct: Sharing it with friends who wonder each year what the theme will be.

Janet and George Cohen East Cobb, GA assembles The 8-by-8-foot sukkah assembles/dis years.

30 over for it ed reus have easily so we s to help card Friends bring their Jewish New Year years. past from s card g decorate, as well as usin ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES NOVEMBER 1, 2019 | 31

COMMUNITY OY VEY! HAVE I GOT A PROBLEM...

Dear Rachel, he’s THE ONE. We months. I really think l era sev for y gu a g s, and everything I’ve been datin -eye on important issue -to eye see , on ati nic that feeling when enjoy easy commu husband, but you know l tia ten po a ean dem it? You put it on, and feels great. Not to tfit has your name on ou n tai cer a d an re, d then, your eyes you walk into a sto ten the enclosures. An fas you as les bb bu pe made for you; the two a slow tinge of ho is is it! This dress was Th !

KA RE EU d an r, stare at the mirro together. of a wave of contentof you are meant to be your shoulder, aware r ove ss dre the g slin t of the day, you You casually cashier. And for the res the to ad he d an , you ment surrounding . for no apparent reason ment is find yourself humming compatible. My excite m see do we , Yes . me d an Jim So, back to lding me back, and ht. Yet, something is ho sig in is e lin ish fin mounting, and the t final commitment. ement. Yes, there I’m afraid to make tha agony of a broken engag the red du en I , ago r You see, a yea nce, I chose to igway that, in my ignora the ng alo ls na sig ng d like great husband were some warni nice person and seeme er sup a s wa rry Ba l, eone; he was just nore. But overal a great husband for som be ll wi he nk thi I , material. Honestly ough that loss and not my “bashert.” . I don’t want to go thr red sca I’m e, lin the To lay it on really know that they How does anyone ever f: sel my ask I , So in. tes, until they experiheartbreak aga as often as a couple da d an g lon As er? oth are meant for an nges, can anyone really esses and larger challe str le litt its th wi er ence life togeth be sure?

Signed, Afraid To Tie The Knot

Jewish Joke of the Week

Dear Afraid, Taking a huge step in life is like scaling a mountain peak that looks – and is – impossibly high. It takes a certain amount of courage, endurance and at a certain point, a leap of faith. You stare at that crest, and you know that there is simply no way you can propel yourself up to that point. You are physically drained and feel incapable of coaxing your feet to move another inch. Yet, you want to finish the climb. You know it’s worth it. And so, you grit your teeth and forge on, one step at a time, your muscles screaming as you whisper a prayer.

I believe this analogy can be applied to marriage and to any life-changing endeavor we face. How does anyone really know that s\he is THE ONE? I think the answer is – we don’t. We do our best, we get to know the person, share hopes, dreams and goals, and view him or her in different situations. After a certain amount of time, once everything checks out and you both feel ready, all that remains is to take that leap of faith.

Unlike the stuff of blissful fairy tales, marriage takes work. If each side goes in thinking only of fulfilling his or her own needs, it is a recipe for disaster. When each “I” transforms into a “we,” and the couple truly invests in attending to the other’s needs, the primary ingredients are present for success.

A famous anecdote has been told about Rabbi Aryeh Levin, a great rabbi who lived in Israel in our generation. He once accompanied his wife to the doctor.

“What seems to be the problem?” the doctor asked.

“Our foot hurts,” the rabbi replied, pointing to his wife.

And so, it is. The picture you present is rosy and wonderful, and the only thing impeding you is your fear from your prior painful experience. So, I humbly suggest that you climb to the summit – together. With consistent effort, love and warmth on both of your parts, may you be blessed with a rich and wonderful life together.

All the best, Rachel Atlanta Jewish Times Advice Column Got a problem? Email Rachel Stein at oyvey@atljewishtimes. com, describing your problem in 250 words or less. We want to hear from you and get helpful suggestions for your situation at the same time!

Yiddish Word of the Week Noodge

‫לדחוף‬ “nudzh, nudge”

The Two Farmers Bud, from Texas, is on holiday in Israel and meets farmer Shlomo there. Bud asks Shlomo what he does.

This is mean to pester with constant complaining, asking, and urging. It is similar to nagging. A “noodge” can also be someone who engages in such behavior.

“I am so annoyed by her, what a noodge!”

“I raise a few chickens,” says Shlomo. “I’m also a farmer.”

“So am I. How much land do you have?” asks Bud. “Fifty meters in front, and almost a hundred at the back.”

Now it was the turn of Shlomo to ask a question.

“You’re from Texas, so what about your farm?” asks Shlomo.

Bud tells him, “On my farm, I can drive from morning until sundown and not reach the end of my property.”

“That’s too bad,” says Shlomo. “I once had a car like that.”

Joke provided by David Minkoff www.awordinyoureye.com 32 | NOVEMBER 1, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

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Lo Green 49. County of Newark, London or Salem 51. Bread for a cute marsupial?

55. "Rabbit ears" on an old TV 56. Trump cut its funding in 2018 to show support for Israel 59. Nittany Lions coll.

60. Roll for Lassie?

64. Each 65. Amazon's business 66. Pond life 67. Had a taste 68. Newark Athlete 69. Close of "101 Dalmatians"

22. Person with sticky fingers 24. Colo. neighbor 1. Muscat resident 25. Rapidly shrinking body of wa6. Involuntary twitch ter on the edge of Kazakhstan 11. The Ice Bucket Challenge 26. Former Supersonics star benefitted it: Abbr.

Shawn 14. Prayer shawl 27. Birthright carrier 15. "You ___ at hello" (Renée 28. Kafka's work Zellweger) 33. Sea eggs 16. "Nes gadol hayah ___" 34. Fire or a firefighter's chopper 17. Condiment for a long-legged 35. 16-Across, translated bird?

36. Trivial Trebek 19. Masters org.

38. One-named singer (whose last 20. "Poly" attachment name is Adkins) 21. Best Picture of 1987 40. Where many Chabanicks go 23. Dip for a laughing scavenger? after landing in New York, with 26. Dr. Bob of "Scrubs" "The" 29. Abbr. with a ring to it?

DOWN 43. Looked quickly 30. A in Austria 1. Requiring no Rx 45. Round chair 31. Biblical High Priest 2. Stallion's partner 48. Drink that has to be Yisrael for 32. Chemical in fertilizer 3. "Woe!" some Jews 34. Singer Franklin 4. They're for closers 50. Annoyingly high-pitched 37. Spy Hari 5. "Peek-a-boo!" follow-up 51. Sorority letter 39. Bagel go-with for a beast of 6. The sound of silence?

52. Start burden?

7. When it's broken, that's good 53. $100, slangily 41. Use a sense 8. Makes a screenplay out of 54. Coach Tyronn who (shockingly) 42. Promise solemnly 9. Pre-picture word couldn't win without LeBron 44. Wooley of "Rawhide" 10. One who threatens 57. What a worker earns 46. Outmoded preposition mean- 11. Upcoming judges 58. Turing or Greenspan ing "before" 12. Start using Facebook, perhaps 61. 52, in old Rome 47. Bible study: Abbr.

13. "Tova" preceder 62. Down with the flu 48. Former "The Voice" judge ___- 18. ___atine, exercise supplement 63. Cash in Tokyo

ACROSS

LAST WEEK’S SOLUTION 1

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successfully helping 35 infants find homes since 1987. Additionally, JFS sponsored “Future Families, a support group for couples waiting to adopt.

15 Years Ago// November 5, 2004

■ Since 1994, over 40 volunteers have been trained to visit Jewish patients in hospitals. Volunteers made brief visits to patients, bringing their smiles, cards, magazines and kind words.

■ Officials from The Weber School made a deal with a residential developer that would finally enable the seven-year-old trans-denominational Jewish high school to go forward with building its first permanent campus. According to Weber President Steve Berman, the school signed a contract with Jolly Development Corp., which would purchase 10 acres of the 30-acre former Lucent Technologies campus at the corner of Roswell and Abernathy roads.

25 Years Ago// November 4, 1994

3

E

20

■ The bat mitzvah ceremony of Amy Leah Levin of Decatur was held Oct. 23, 2004, at Congregation Shearith Israel. Amy is the daughter of Bob and Iris Levin. Amy was a sixth-grade student at Shamrock Middle School.

R

H

17

Remember When

2

50 Years Ago// November 7, 1969 ■ Israeli students who were at universities and colleges in the United States became active in the promotion of travel to Israel. Over 1,000 of them enlisted in a project aimed at reaching into the heart of the college campuses and interesting American students in Israel travel.

Steve Berman, president of The Weber School, said the school signed a contract to purchase 10 acres at Roswell and Abernathy roads.

■ A tribute to ORT was given Nov. 14 by all the Atlanta temples and synagogues in special ORT Sabbath observances. Atlanta’s and other ORT Sabbath observances were held throughout the nation to honor the work of ORT, the vocational training program of the Jewish people.

■ Jewish Family Services assisted couples looking to adopt children, ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES NOVEMBER 1, 2019 | 33

OBITUARIES

David Samuel Baker 82, Atlanta

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David Samuel Baker, 82, of Atlanta, died Oct. 27, 2019. A corporate lawyer, Baker practiced throughout his adult life.

He loved practicing law, having earned his undergraduate degree at The Wharton School of business and his law degree from Harvard University.

He started his career in New York City, with law firm Cleary Gottlieb, and moved to Atlanta in 1962 to join Powell Goldstein, where he practiced for 43 years.

Innovative for his time, he launched the first environmental law practice at the firm. With no thoughts of retiring at the young age of 70, he joined Taylor English.

Baker represented many organizations and companies in healthcare, manufacturing, food and beverage, environmental and other fields. He served as chairman of the General Practice division of the American Bar Association, as well as chair of the committees on professional discipline and environmental law. He was also dedicated to the community, serving as a trustee of The Rich Foundation for 36 years, chairman of the board of The Howard School, and president of The Standard Club.

Often called a “legal giant,” one of his greatest accomplishments was as mentor.

Many benefited from his generous wisdom, deep integrity and his delight in connecting people for their personal and professional growth.

In his personal life, he loved to travel the world and collect art with his beloved wife of 58 years, Betsy. An avid golfer, he twice scored a hole-in-one, at the Congressional Country Club in Washington, D.C., and at The Standard Club. A native of Jacksonville, Fla., he was a lifelong Florida Gator. He was also deeply proud of his children and grandchildren.

Baker is survived by his wife Betsy Cohen Baker; children Stuart Baker, Curtis Baker (Hillary), Trudy Kremer (Doug); grandchildren Morgan, Barrett and Sloan Baker, and Max and Elias Kremer; and brother, Marvin Baker (Carol).

In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to Atlanta Volunteer Lawyers Foundation, www.avlf.org, The Temple, www.the-temple.org, or to The William Breman Jewish Home, www.wbjh.org.

Funeral services were Oct. 30 at The Temple with Rabbi Peter Berg and Rabbi Alvin M. Sugarman officiating. A private, family interment followed at Arlington Memorial Park.

OBITUARIES

Marilyn Eileen Dickstein 73, Tucker

Marilyn Eileen Dickstein, 73, of Tucker, passed away Oct. 18, 2019.

Originally from Brooklyn, N.Y., and the daughter of Hyman and Beatrice Steckles, she graduated from Erasmus Hall High School and married Jerry Dickstein in 1974. They moved to Atlanta three years later and Marilyn was active as both an educational advocate and administrator in the Jewish community. Family always came first to her, and her grandchildren were the light of her life. Survivors include husband Jerry Dickstein; son Shawn Dickstein; daughter Hydi Kalmin (Bruce); and grandsons Ben and Noah Kalmin.

Funeral services were Oct. 23 at Arlington Memorial Park in Sandy Springs, officiated by Rabbi Alexandria Shuval-Weiner and Rabbi Mark Kunis. Donations can be made to the American Kidney Fund or the Jewish Abilities Alliance.

Arrangements by Dressler’s Jewish Funeral Care, 770-451-4999. Sign the online guestbook at www.dresslerjewishfunerals.com. ■ Obituaries in the AJT are written and paid for by the families; contact Managing Publisher Kaylene Ladinsky at kaylene@atljewishtimes.com or 404-883-2130, ext. 100, for details about submission, rates and payments. Death notices, which provide basic details, are free and run as space is available; send submissions to editor@atljewishtimes.com.

‫זיכרונה‬ ‫לברכה‬ Got old issues?

If you discover old issues of the Atlanta Jewish Times laying around, we want them.

To boost our archives, we will come pick up any AJT issues from 2014 or earlier.

Please call 404-883-2130 or write kaylene@ atljewishtimes.com to setup retrieval.

Subscribe, Support, Sustain.

As always, thank you for reading your Atlanta Jewish times.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES NOVEMBER 1, 2019 | 35

CLOSING THOUGHTS You’re A Kind of Muslim, Right?

“Mrs. Shapiro, I’m Ayesha.” The nurse welcomed me and led me into the dreaded chamber of self-loathing where one’s height, weight, oxygen level and blood pressure are measured. Just let me say that I’m never at the top of my game when I go to a new doctor.

In anticipation of this Chana first visit, I filled out a de- Shapiro tailed questionnaire which Ayesha reviewed while I prepared for the ritual. I removed my shoes, watch, bracelet and earrings, attempting to tip the scale favorably. Then I requested a few minutes of respite while I calmed myself emotionally for the blood pressure assessment. Aware of my anxiety, Ayesha complied, which gave her extra time to go over my questionnaire.

Ayesha asked, “What’s this?” pointing to the line in which I hadn’t liked any of the given choices. Therefore, instead of “Caucasian” I had checked “Other” and written “Ashkenazi Jewish.”

“What’s this word?” Ayesha asked, pointing to “Ashkenazi.”

36 | NOVEMBER 1, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

Allowing my zealous quest for “teaching moments” to override the more desirable professional relationship between patient and nurse, I ran with it.

“I wrote that answer to inform the doctor about my European ancestors and genetic makeup. Some Jewish people share traits that may require special medical attention.”

“Oh, I know all about that. You’re a kind of Muslim, right?”

Right then and there, I decided to quickly halt running with it. “Jews and Muslims are different religions and have different histories, and I don’t know if we have common genetic traits. It would be interesting to find out.”

After the doctor’s visit, I passed Ayesha as I left. “I’m just curious,” I asked her, “where did you hear that Jews are a type of Muslim?”

“Oh, I go to church, and I learned that Jews come from Abraham, who is the father of Muslims,” she explained.

Hmmm. All too often I find myself in a

situation where I have two bad choices: get into a difficult, complex discussion or exit unsatisfactorily. Ayesha had work to do, and I wanted to think about a useful response. “I hope we can talk about this some other time,” I offered, heading out.

A few weeks later, I was on a plane.

I had the seat between my husband, Zvi, on the aisle, and a fellow who identified himself as Brian, next to the window. He was a serious-looking graduate student.

Simultaneously, a jolly fellow, with a name tag reading “Jim,” sat down on the aisle directly across from Zvi. The flight took off, and Zvi opened his prayer book to silently read the verses specified for travelers, unaware that Jim was watching him with great intensity.

Zvi handed the book to me, and then I read the verses.

Jim wasn’t the only one paying attention.

Brian saw that something mysterious was going on, and when the book was given to me, he strained to get a good look. The prayer isn’t very long, and soon I pulled out the magazine in the seat pocket in front of me and started to do the crossword puzzle.

Both neighbors had been waiting for us. Jim across the aisle leaned over to Zvi and asked, “Are you reading the Torah?”

The oddly-begun conversation between them lasted the full 1 ½ hours of the flight and resulted in an exchange of contact information.

Taking his cue when the Jim-Zvi interchange began, Brian had a different suggestion for me, “That’s the Koran, isn’t it?”

“We’re Jewish, and that’s Hebrew,” I answered. “I guess Arabic and Hebrew can be confused if you don’t read either one.”

I opened the book and showed it to Brian.

“I heard that people who aren’t Jewish can’t touch your books,” he stated.

“Not so.” I handed the book to him, and he carefully turned a few pages. Brian and I chatted for quite a while about our respective religions, and we acknowledged that we’d both learned a lot.

When Zvi and I compared our separate conversations, we agreed that this flight was the most interesting one we’d ever had. Once again, I was reminded that there are good people everywhere like Ayesha, Jim and Brian, who have heard a lot about Jews, but they don’t know us. ■

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