Atlanta Jewish Times, VOL. XCIV NO. 38, September 27, 2019

NEXT WEEK: YOM KIPPUR

VOL. XCIV NO. 38 | ROSH HASHANAH

Shana Tova!

Wishing You a Sweet 5780 Filled with Renewal and Prosperity

SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 27 ELUL 5779

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PUBLISHER MICHAEL A. MORRIS michael@atljewishtimes.com

MANAGING PUBLISHER & EDITOR KAYLENE LADINSKY kaylene@atljewishtimes.com Executive Assistant

JODI DANIS jodi@atljewishtimes.com

EDITORIAL Associate Editor

RONI ROBBINS roni@atljewishtimes.com Sr. Staff Writer & Web Editor

EDDIE SAMUELS eddie@atljewishtimes.com Contributor & Proofreader

LEAH R. HARRISON leah@atljewishtimes.com

Contributors This Week ALLEN H. LIPIS BOB BAHR ISABELLE MOKOTOFF JAN JABEN-EILON MARCIA CALLER JAFFE

ADVERTISING Senior Account Manager

BRENDA GELFAND brenda@atljewishtimes.com Senior Account Manager

MICHAL BONELL michal@atljewishtimes.com Account Manager

SHERI OKUN sheri@atljewishtimes.com

CREATIVE & MEDIA Creative & Media Designer

Forgive and Forget This week we bring you our biggest issue of the year in time to celebrate the upcoming Rosh Hashanah holiday. We asked community members and leaders from near and far to share with you their thoughts on forgiveness, one of the primary themes of the Jewish New Year.

They wrote about the difficult task of asking others for forgiveness and in what cases people are not worthy of forgiveness. Some wrote about forgiving themselves. Others grappled with forgiving social injustices and the need for action in the face of inequity.

In addition to holiday coverage, we recap the annual Atlanta Scholars Kollel dinner and a Hadassah event spotlighting the new BRCA study, free to Ashkenazi Jews who qualify, to screen for genetic cancers more common in that population.

We help you understand the results of the do-over Israel election and the American Jewish Committee recounts its rich 75year history in Atlanta and the difference it has made in issues of religious diversity, Soviet Jewry and black-Jewish relations.

Our Rabbi Ruach, a spinoff of The

Lowdown, is Peter Berg of The Temple.

Meet the new intern at Congregation Etz Chaim, the first female clergy member for the synagogue.

Come along as we spotlight the imaginative and continuously expanding living space of Lynn and Wink Weinberg in East Cobb.

In dining, AJT staffers Jen Evans and Michal Bonell bring you their latest On the Town at Brooklyn Cantina in Johns Creek, which included a concert by cover bands of popular artists from the 70s, 80s and 90s.

We also reviewed the new Apron + Ladle breakfast-lunch deli in Sandy Springs and interviewed a Pulitzer Prize winning TV critic for The New Yorker, a former Atlantan, about her new book.

Our Israel Consul General to the Southeast recounts her first few months in Atlanta and the challenging issues she’ll face in the coming year.

Speaking about the Jewish calendar change, next week we bring you our Yom Kippur coverage. In the meantime, from the AJT family to yours, we wish you a sweet and healthy holiday season.

L’Shana Tova! ■

THIS WEEK

Cover photo: Depicts throwing away of sins at Tashlich as part of Rosh Hashanah. The location in the photo is the waterfall and mill of Lullwater Park at Emory University.

CONTENTS LOCAL NEWS �������������������������������� 10 ISRAEL NEWS ������������������������������� 12 OPINION ����������������������������������������� 16 ROSH HASHANAH ���������������������� 18 ARTS ������������������������������������������������ 76 DINING �������������������������������������������� 78 CHAI STYLE ����������������������������������� 79 COMMUNITY ��������������������������������� 82 KEEPING IT KOSHER ������������������ 90 BRAIN FOOD ���������������������������������� 93 OBITUARIES ���������������������������������� 94 CLOSING THOUGHTS ����������������� 96 CALENDAR ������������������������������������� 98

l’shanah tovah to all of our friends and family.

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ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 9

LOCAL NEWS 1 in 40 Ashkenazi Jews Carry Genetic Cancer Defect

By Jan Jaben-Eilon People who have an Ashkenazi Jewish background are much more likely to be diagnosed with breast, ovarian, prostate and pancreatic cancers. That warning was made loud and clear to about 100 people – mostly women — at a program sponsored by Hadassah Greater Atlanta earlier this month.

Held at Congregation Or Hadash, the evening highlighted a pilot program launched two months ago to provide free genetic testing for a defect that could lead to these cancers.

Emory’s JScreen has already signed up 250 of the possible 500 participants for the program known as the PEACH BRCA Study. PEACH stands for Program for the Evaluation of Ashkenazi Cancer Heritability. BRCA 1 and BRCA 2 are the genetic defects that could cause the cancers. In the general population, the BRCA defect carrier rate is 1 in 500. Among Ashkenazi Jews, the carrier rate is one in 40.

Rochelle Schube is a BRCA 1 carrier who chose preventative surgery to lower her chances of a cancer diagnosis.

“Knowing your genetic status may save your life.” Schube’s younger sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. Several members of her family are also BRCA carriers.

BRCA genetic defects are passed down in families.

The breast cancer risk by age 70 is only 12 ½ percent for women without the genetic defect. With the genetic defect, it’s anywhere from 59 to 87 percent. A diagnosis of ovarian cancer by age 70 rises from 1 to 2 percent in women without a BRCA genetic defect, to as high as 54 percent

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Leaders of Hadassah Greater Atlanta and JScreen with panelists receiving Certificates of Appreciation: Michele Weiner-Merbaum, Felicia A Mayer, Karen Arnovitz Grinzaid, Jane L. Meisel, Vivian Gerow, Rochelle Schube, Stacey Davis and Anita Otero.

Panelists and their Certificates of Appreciation: Karen Arnovitz Grinzaid, Jane L. Meisel, Rochelle Schube and Stacey Davis.

in women with the genetic defect, explained Dr. Jane L. Meisel, medical director for the PEACH BRCA Study.

Knowing that one is a BRCA carrier, Meisel stated, “informs your options.” In addition to preventative surgery, one can receive increased cancer monitoring.

JScreen, which has been testing for genetic diseases in the Atlanta Jewish community for years, decided to add the study to test for the BRCA genetic defect “to make this test affordable and accessible to any Ashkenazi Jew who wants it regardless of his or her family history,” said Karen Arnovitz Grinzaid, executive director of JScreen, a national online genetic disease screening

program based out of Emory University School of Medicine’s Department of Human Genetics.

As a research study, the PEACH BRCA study is asking three questions, Grinzaid explained. “Do people want testing? Is the carrier rate one in 40 without a family history? And, how can JScreen offer testing and follow-up nationally?”

“We’re not sure what people’s reaction will be,” Grinzaid acknowledged. “Do people want to have the information” of whether they are BRCA carriers? If they learn they are, they will be faced with decisions about whether to take preventative measures to minimize a cancer diagnosis.

One of the program’s panelists was Stacey Davis, an Atlantan who decided to get the BRCA test in 2017 and learned that she was BRCA 2 positive. “As shocked as I was to hear, it would have been worse to hear I had cancer,” she said. A mother of two young girls, Davis chose to have a full hysterectomy and preventative double mastectomy to drastically lower her chances of a cancer diagnosis. “It’s a personal decision, but hopefully it will give you peace of mind.”

To be eligible for the free testing offered by JScreen, a person needs to have at least one Ashkenazi or Eastern European, Jewish grandparent, be at least 25 years old, reside in the metro Atlanta area, and have no significant personal or family history of BRCA-related cancers.

To determine eligibility, one should go online at www. jscreen.org/BRCA. If eligible, participants will provide a saliva sample for the genetic test. Results either way would be provided by a genetic counselor.

If the result is negative and the participant isn’t found to be a BRCA carrier, “the chance of a BRCA mutation is low, but not eliminated,” Grinzaid said. If the outcome, however, is positive, the counselor will help the participant review their options for cancer risk reduction and early detection. The counselor will also help the participant find local cancer specialists for monitoring and follow-up, as well as help them identify relatives around the country who might be at risk for the mutation.

One goal of the Atlanta pilot program is to “find out how to do this on the national level,” Grinzaid added.

The PEACH BRCA Study was funded by The Marcus Foundation, the Florence and Laurence Spungen Family Foundation, the Kay Family Foundation Fund of the Community Foundation for Greater Atlanta, and the Jewish Women’s Fund of Atlanta. ■

LOCAL NEWS

Jewish Jerry McGuire Addresses Kollel

Camaraderie was one of the goals of the Kollel annual event.

By Marcia Caller Jaffe A variety of emotions gripped the room as Rabbi David Silverman, co-leader of Atlanta Scholars Kollel, recalled the events of 9/11 on the 18th anniversary of the tragedy. The tribute dovetailed on the program’s theme of “appreciation of life and the gifts of living in this country,” according to Silverman.

He also recognized Adrian Grant for being historically instrumental in starting this event prior to the high holiday season.

In the dinner reception, sponsors and fans expressed how studying with Kollel has positively affected their lives.

The Congregation B’nai Torah “Minyonaires” made a huge showing: Zvi Bekerman, Gary Eichholz and Dave Cohen were just a few. Daniel Bekerman said, “I live right by Rabbi Daniel Freitag, and he calls me every week to come to Kollel.”

In the pre-event reception, Kollel and Congregation Ariel Rabbi Binyomin Friedman greeted guests and remarked, “We have this opportunity once a year to see everyone come together before Rosh

Sponsor Gary Eichholtz, Rabbi Yosef Vakrat (Kollel-Israeli outreach), and Rabbi David Silverman chat with sponsor Fred Chaiken.

Adrian Grant, credited with starting this annual Kollel event, poses with guest speaker Kivi Bernhard and Kollel Rabbi Menashe Goldberger.

manded the stage in his South African Hashanah.”

Kollel sponsor attorney Ilene Ber- accent, saying, “I have been called a cross man said, “Tonight is an important part between Crocodile Dundee and Jerry Mcof our community networking to broad- Guire with a yarmulkie.”

Known for his varied caen our reach.” reer in speaking for Fortune Past Kollel president, 500 companies, Samsung, sponsor and board memCNN, Fox and TBS, Bernhard ber Alan Smirin said, “This also evoked the symbolism of is a fabulous night before 9/11, saying, “Jew and gentile the high holidays to come alike acknowledge our freetogether and schmooze and dom.” He compared the twin celebrate.” towers to the two Shabbat Eschewing the typicandles, “bringing light and cal musical rock ‘n roll stamping out darkness.” program à la Simon and Lisa Smirin with Bernhard spoke of his Garfunkel with wigs, the husband, Alan Smirin, recent move to Miami Beach Kollel rabbis lined up for former president of and deep sea fishing, prepartheir much-awaited enthuKollel and current ing his bait, seeing the beautisiastically performed skit. board member, reprise ful blue colors and variety of They lined up to persuade the annual event. teeming fish – snapper and one recalcitrant “typically too busy Jew” that through all life cycles, corvina. “Jews have thrived, not just surthere are a variety of Kollel programs, vived.” More importantly, his dominant from Peachtree City and Brookhaven to message was that Jews can be observant Edgewood, for women, college students and CEO and live in the same space.

“The world is desperate for clarity. … and retirees. You name it, they have it.

Guest speaker Kivi Bernhard com- Jews represent clarity, north on the com-

Departing from the traditional musical performance, the Kollel rabbis each pitched their individual projects from retirees to Emory University and everything in between.

pass.” Bernhard related a story where his flight was postponed, and travelers were a bit anxious. A pilot, not assigned to his flight, was eyeing him adorned in a yarmulke and approached him to say, “I feel that Jews are blessed, and I’m calmed by being on your flight,” Bernhard recalled.

“Despite our transcendent wisdom and unbroken chain, Jews are still hated, … but we don’t have to be dictated by what society imposes,” he mused. The main takeaway was an example of an observant Jew applying for a job. Some of us would downplay that part as “personal,” but, “No, lead with values, … instead of hiding. People respect that clarity. Some Fridays you will have to leave work at 2:30 to prepare for Shabbos, but they know that we will work harder and smarter and start with a solid value system.”

Spring Hall, a rather atypical venue off I-285 on Buford Highway, had to be specially kashered for Clive Bank and A Kosher Touch to serve up their magic meatballs, chicken tenders, quinoa salad and vinaigrette slaw. Dessert followed the program. ■

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 11

ISRAEL PRIDE

News From Our Jewish Home

A screenshot from a Foreign Ministry video showing a preview of the Israeli pavilion at the 2020 World Expo in Dubai.

Israel Previews 2020 World Expo Pavilion

In a rare opportunity to showcase Israeli culture, technology and innovation to the Arab world and beyond, Israel will be staffing a pavilion at the Expo 2020 in Dubai. The startup nation previewed its planned display in a recent video posted by the Israel Foreign Ministry.

The brief clip, shared on many of the ministry’s social media profiles, featured a simulation of the pavilion, which was described with the words: “icon, hope and aspiration,” according to The Times of Israel.

The video brags that the display has, “no walls and no borders,” and the narra-

Today in Israeli History Sept. 27, 1950: The Third Maccabiah Games, originally scheduled for 1938 but canceled by the British over the fear of a surge of illegal immigration, begin in the 50,000-seat stadium in Ramat Gan. The first games held in an independent Israel draw 800 athletes from 20 countries.

Addressing the opening, Prime Minister David Ben-Gurion says, “Existence in our ancestral home requires physical might no less than intellectual excellence.”

Photo by Ya’acov Sa’ar, Israeli Government Press Office // Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak

Rabin and PLO Chairman Yasser Arafat shake hands in front of President Bill Clinton after signing the Oslo II agreement Sept. 28, 1995. Jordan’s King Hussein applauds them.

Sept. 28, 1995: Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin and PLO Chairman Yasser Arafat sign the Israeli-Palestinian Interim Agreement, known as Oslo II, at a White House ceremony attended by Jor12 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

tor says it is, “An open invitation to join hands on the amazing journey forward and to shape our future together.”

The invitation itself — despite Israel having no formal diplomatic relationship with the United Arab Emirates — was hailed as a step forward, a potential sign of defrosting relationships between the two nations, both of which boast impressive tech resumes.

“For more than 170 years, World Expos have been apolitical events focused on furthering humanity for the common good through innovation, cultural exchange, creativity and collaboration. We are proud to continue that tradition,” the Dubai-based organizers said in an April statement, when Israel announced it would be participating.

The pavilion was designed by Knafo Klimor Architects, based out of Tel Aviv.

Study Digs Up Truth behind Tin Ingots Found in Israel

A recent groundbreaking study discovered that Bronze Age tin ingots from England may in fact help explain how the region was so quickly able to advance dan’s King Hussein as well as President Bill Clinton. The deal establishes the Palestinian Authority as an elected, self-governing body and says neither side should take unilateral action on the status of the West Bank or Gaza Strip.

Israeli Baseball Team Headed to Tokyo Olympics

Photo via Ehud Galili // Examples of the ingots

studied. These are from the sea off the coast of Israel from about 1300 to 1200 B.C.E.

technologically.

The Middle East was rich in copper and seven of the other eight ingredients needed to smelt iron, but tin was notably lacking. Historians have long been aware of the presence of bronze, but until recently, the tin source remained an open question.

A June paper published in the openaccess, peer-reviewed journal PLOS ONE charts the possible origin to an unlikely source, Cornwall.

The authors analyzed 27 ingots — blocks — from five dig sites along the eastern Mediterranean Sea and based on studying both tin and lead isotopes in the materials, pinpointed the most likely source to be the southwestern tip of England.

a Harris Poll, the AWACS sale moves ahead, and the first planes are delivered in 1985.

Photo by Avi Ohayon, Israeli Government Press Office // Mordechai Vanunu (white shirt)

is released from prison April 21, 2004.

The Golan Heights became part of Syria under borders drawn by British and French diplomats.

Sept. 29, 1923: Under borders drawn primarily by Britain and France after World War I, the new nation of Syria gains control of the Golan Heights. The French, who held sway over the government in Damascus, block Zionist efforts to buy large portions of the Golan over the next two decades. The French and Syrians worry that such land sales will lead the British to annex the Golan Heights to Palestine. But the negotiations nurture positive Jewish relations with important Syrian Arab politicians.

Sept. 30, 1986: Mordechai Vanunu, a nuclear technician who in 1985 leaked details to the British press about Israel’s nuclear program after he was fired from

Despite losing out on bronze and falling to fourth place in Israel’s first European Championship tournament, Team Israel is still looking ahead to the 2020 Tokyo Olympics after qualifying for the biggest stage in sports on Sunday.

Winning the six-team World Baseball Softball Confederation Olympic Qualifier Europe-Africa tournament in Parma, Italy, which kicked off late last week, Israel punched its ticket to Japan.

The top five teams from the previous championship advanced to the qualifier, and the sixth spot went to South Africa, which won the 2019 African Baseball Championship.

Team Israel first defeated the Netherlands on Thursday, followed by the Italian team Friday, and ultimately routed South Africa 11-1 in the final game of the tournament.

The Israeli baseball team is made up of mostly Jewish Americans, many of whom are former Major League Baseball pros who gained Israeli citizenship to play for the nation in the previous World Base-ball Classic in 2017. ■

a job at the reactor at Dimona and left the country for Australia, is brought back to Israel to face trial for espionage after being lured from London to Italy by an undercover Mossad agent. He is convicted in 1988 and serves 16 years in prison, spending most of that time in isolation.

The U.S. Air Force’s AWACS aircraft upgraded Saudi Arabia’s ability to track enemy planes.

Oct. 1, 1981: President Ronald Reagan announces a plan to sell American F-15 fighter jets and Airborne Warning and Control System (AWACS) planes to Saudi Arabia. Israel adamantly opposes the sale, but Reagan says, “It is not the business of other nations to make American foreign policy.”

He says the sale is not a threat to Israel. Despite the opposition of 59% of Americans in

Oct. 2, 1187: Saladin, the sultan of Egypt and founder of the Ayyubid dynasty, captures Jerusalem from crusaders after a siege that began Sept. 20. Saladin eventually signs a treaty with English King Richard the Lionheart to divide the Land of Israel between crusaders along the coast and Muslims in Jerusalem and the interior. Unlike the crusaders, Saladin is tolerant of Jews, and he allows them to live in the holy city again in 1190.

Oct. 3, 2005: Sarah Levy-Tanai, a choreographer who incorporated Mizrahi and Ashkenazi elements and won the Israel Prize in art, music and dance in 1973, dies at age 94 or 95 (the Jerusalem native was never sure whether she was born in 1910 or 1911).

The daughter of Yemeni parents, she founded the Inbal Dance Theater in 1949 and directed it into the 1990s. She also wrote plays and composed songs and dances for the kindergartners she taught for a time. ■ Items are provided by the Center for Israel Education (www.israeled.org), where you can find more details.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 13

ISRAEL NEWS Israel Appears Headed to Unity Government

Benny Gantz and Benjamin Netanyahu were the front-runners in the recent election.

By Jan Jaben-Eilon Any time now, the clock will start ticking on the creation of the next Israeli

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government.

Whomever Israeli President Reuven Rivlin first tasks with cobbling together a majority of 61 (of the 120) Knesset seats

President Reuven Riflin may force a national unity government.

has four weeks – with a possible extra two more recommendation from the various weeks – to find a majority from nine parties parties than did Gantz. The fact that sepathat won enough seats to make it into the rately they could not form a government without the Yisrael Beiteinu party – which Knesset as a result of the Sept. 17 election.

If that person doesn’t succeed in put- didn’t choose either prime ministerial canting together a coalition, the president didate – left the decision to Rivlin, who has can turn to someone else – and the clock stated emphatically that he doesn’t want to force Israelis to go back to the polls for starts ticking again.

If Americans were anxious as they a third time within a year. Rivlin has the constitutional right waited for the U.S. to force a national Supreme Court to unity government. determine who won Former Atlanthe Nov. 7, 2000, tan Rachel Broyde, presidential elecnow spokesperson tions – and we only for the Likud party, waited until Dec. 12 – reiterated this week imagine how Israelis from Atlanta that Lifeel. They might wait kud is “not interested months to know in another round of who will be the next elections.” She quotprime minister of ed Netanyahu as saytheir country. And ing that he’s willing that’s after two electo join a broad unity tions this year. government with any Early this week, Rachel Broyde, a former Atlantan, is a Zionist party. Indeed, after meeting with spokesperson for the Likud party. the day after the electhe heads of the winning Knesset parties on Sunday and tion, the prime minister met with the leaders Monday to discover who they want as of the right-wing parties, Yemina, Shas and the next prime minister, Rivlin asked Li- United Torah Judaism, which all pledged to kud party head Benjamin Netanyahu and go into coalition negotiations as a team.

Those parties represent 55 seats in Blue and White party head Benny Gantz to meet in preliminary discussions and, the Knesset. If Blue and White were to hopefully, agree to create a unity govern- join that group, the executive branch of ment. Blue and White won the most seats the government would represent 88 of last week with 33, followed by Likud’s 31. the 120 seats in the legislature, resulting Together, they would have a slim majority in a large overlap of the two branches.

In any case, Blue and White has statgovernment.

However, Netanyahu received one ed that it would not sit in a government

ISRAEL NEWS

Dov Wilker hopes there isn’t a third election.

with the ultra-Orthodox parties, nor with Netanyahu, who is expected to be indicted by the end of the year – subject to an Oct. 2 hearing – in several open cases.

“Clearly, we’ve never had a scenario like this,” observed Dov Wilker, regional director of the American Jewish Committee Atlanta, who is a self-described “Israeli political junkie.”

“There’s no way to know how this is going to shake out, but I hope it doesn’t go to a third election,” Wilker told the AJT. He pointed out that the high holidays start Sunday night and will most likely interrupt the coalition government negotiations.

Significantly, for the first time in 27 years, the majority of the Arab parties this week recommended a candidate for prime minister, Blue and White’s Benny Gantz.

The last time that happened was in 1992, when the Israeli Arab parties chose Yitzhak Rabin. The Joint List of all the Arab parties won 13 seats in last week’s election.

Richard Walter is with the Center for Israel Education.

“Anytime something happens for the first time in over 25 years, it is significant,” Richard S. Walter, vice president of Curriculum and Outreach at the Center for Israel Education, told the AJT. “I think it is mostly about repudiating Netanyahu’s leadership and especially what the Arabs perceive as his antagonism and racism towards them. How significant [this is] will only be seen once we know what type of government Israel is able to put together.”

If Likud and Blue and White agree to sit together in a unity government with a rotation between the two leaders as prime minister, it will also be significant to see which will head the government first.

Currently, under Israeli law, a sitting prime minister can be indicted, but isn’t required to step down unless he’s found guilty. During the recent election campaign, Blue and White stated that it wouldn’t sit in a government headed by an indicted prime minister. ■ ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 15

OPINION Looking Forward to the New Year The timing of Rosh Hashanah this Missouri, Kentucky, Tennessee and West year is of special significance for me as I Virginia. In this regard, we are fortunate have just begun my role as Consul General as well. We have many strong supporters of Israel to the Southeast United States, and partners in the political, economic, based here in Atlanta. The Jewish New Year academic and cultural fields in our region. is a time for reflecting on the ending year Many political leaders in our region voice and for looking forward to the New Year their support of the State of Israel and seek and all that we wish to achieve. to explore avenues for further cooperation.

As I reflect upon my first two months Many economic partners are keen to furhere, I feel incredibly blessed. In this short ther connect with Israel, as a technological period, I have had the privilege to meet Anat and innovative superpower with groundwith many leaders and members of the Sultan-Dadon breaking achievements in science, mediJewish community, so many of them active, Consul General cine, agriculture, cyber, defense and other caring and passionate about promoting areas. Similarly, many religious leaders, Jewish identity and strengthening relations with Israel. academics and other influencers in our region seek to I could not wish for better partners in promoting our foster stronger relations with Israel. common goals. Israel’s strength comes not only from We are however, as we are all well aware, not free of within, but also from outside. Our brothers and sisters challenges. Israel’s incredible achievements have come in the diaspora are an important part of this strength. against a backdrop of persistent challenges and threats.

We may differ in location, in views or in affiliations, Even 71 years after our declared independence, there are but our Jewish identity as a people unites us, even in the still those who refuse to accept the existence of the State simple act of carrying on our age-old tradition of dip- of Israel, the nation state of the Jewish people. The atping apples in honey to welcome a sweet new year. De- tempts to delegitimize the State of Israel have nothing spite our differences, it is up to all of us to do our best to to do with a conflict over territory, and have everything ensure that our unity as a people stands strong. to do with the denial of our right, as a people, to selfBesides the very important goal of promoting en- determination and a state of our own in ANY borders. gagement and cooperation with the Jewish community, A significant challenge that we continue to face the Consulate is tasked with a variety of goals pertain- is the state sponsored anti-Semitism and anti-Zionism ing to our relations with the seven states that we cover emanating from Iran, whose rhetoric is matched by its from Atlanta: Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, fomenting of terror in our region and beyond, while pur-

suing nuclear weapons and long-range ballistic missiles.

On our southern border with Gaza, we face an area run

by Hamas, a terror organization devoted to harming the State of Israel, at the expense of its own people. On the northern front, we face Iran’s continued attempts to entrench itself in Syria, as well as the funding and backing of the Hezbollah in Lebanon, a terror organization with an army and weapons that far surpass those of many countries. On all of these fronts, Israel will continue to act in safeguarding our security and our vital interests.

The support and cooperation with the U.S., our strongest ally in the world, is of incredible importance in facing these challenges. In the Consulate’s work here, we are tasked with doing all that we can in the territory that we cover, to ensure the strength of these mutually beneficial relations going forward. These relations are based not only on common interests, but also on many shared values. I see the Jewish community as a vital partner in our work.

In the short time I have been in Atlanta, I have quickly learned the meaning of Southern hospitality. I feel very fortunate to have been so warmly welcomed by such a strong, diverse and vibrant Jewish community. I have arrived here with my husband and three girls, and though far away from home, we very quickly felt right at home. Similarly, I would like you all to view the Consulate as your home as well. I encourage you to feel free to approach the Consulate with any suggestions or ideas you may have for collaboration, or even just to share your thoughts and engage in matters that concern you.

In the spirit of optimism that characterizes the Jewish people, as we welcome the new year, I would like to finish with the traditional saying, “Tikhleh Shanah V’Kileloteha:” May this year and all of its curses end.”

“Tahel Shanah U’Birkhoteha:” May the coming year with all of its blessings begin.

Shana Tova U’Metuka to each and every one of you! ■

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OPINION

Publisher’s Note are just too far right! As my kids would say, I am going to ask for a lot of forgive“Really”? ness. I am going to ask for all of us on the What this clearly, beyond any shadow right to forgive all of those on the left; and, of doubt tells us all, is that it is not what I am going to ask all of us on the left to forwe choose to print, it’s not what our readgive all of us on the right. I know that is a ers choose to read, it is how any reader tall order; but I think all of us can agree, it chooses to interpret what is written. This is well overdue. means that before we listen to the news or What I have come to learn over the read someone’s opinion, we allow our own past year is that neither side is evil, neither personal bias to influence our understandside is acting in malice and neither side is ing of what someone else is attempting against freedom and democracy. However, Michael A. to share. This means that even if the AJT both sides have become so passionate about Morris Publisher shares two sides of a story, each side is incatheir position that the arguments have bepable of accepting equity, fairness and the come vicious, degrading, and lack civility, character and integrity. We are persecuting our friends. right of someone to a differing opinion.

Let me explain this a different way. If people are We are demonizing our neighbors. Both sides are acting irrational, irresponsible and behaving like children telling me that they are going to stop reading the AJT because it is too left and too right at the same time, it is throwing temper tantrums; and we are all suffering.

Let me highlight an example right here at the At- not the paper, it’s the reader. I will go so far as to say, it lanta Jewish Times that keenly demonstrates the fallacy is the intolerance of the reader from both sides of the of the ultra-hardline and emotional position on both aisle. An intolerance that neither side will admit to, but sides of the aisle. If I told you that every month, we lose is clearly demonstrated. I hope, at least, you can see a a reader or two, I am sure you would not be surprised. certain amount of humor in this dichotomy.

It is beyond time that we, as a community, as AmeriPeople move out of town, pass away, change their priorities, and so much more. Recently, every month or so, we can citizens, as civilized humans, stop acting like 2-yearhave lost a reader (or so they claim) because that person old children when we don’t get our way, when we do not feels the AJT is just too far left. I would take that at face- like the compromise, when we see things a little differvalue except every month or so, we lose a reader (and ently. It is beyond time that we stop hating our friends often in the same week and/or same day) because we and neighbors. It is beyond time that we stop seeing or

assuming the worst in others. The person we disagree with may be wrong, in our opinion, but their opinion is not based upon spite, malice or hate (yes, this statement excludes violent extremists from any walk of life).

It is time to get back to respectful debates. Let us reap the benefits of freedom and democracy as we muddle through ways to make our system even better. It is okay to disagree, to believe in a different path to accomplish our goals and compromise to move forward. And to do so without uncontrollable rage and hate for those that do not agree with us.

This holiday, I would suggest, don’t just repent but think forward. Consider how you will change your actions, reactions, interpretations and responses.

Shana Tova, wishing you a happy and harmonious New Year. ■

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ROSH HASHANAH Forgiveness For our Rosh Hashanah issue, Jewish Atlanta shares their thoughts on forgiveness and helps prepare our hearts and minds for the upcoming Days of Awe. Read their words of wisdom and gain inspiration here:

No Time for Forgiveness When Late-Stage Cancer Strikes

By Jon Albert Imagine hearing your oncologist say: You have only a few months to live. Our young moms and dads across the United States hear this sentence weekly. Sadly, it remains too easy for JAJF [Jack & Jill Late Stage Cancer Foundation] to receive prescriptions to treat these sweet, young families. Despite advances in cancer research, too many young moms and dads are not being saved by the next wonder drug or are hoping for a cure and leaving behind their children.

This terminal news often involves an introspective re-

flection/challenge of beliefs and acceptance. Many of these young parents are naturally angry. They must say goodbye to their children decades earlier than they ever contemplated. Is this the best time to ask for forgiveness or to forgive others? Is this the appropriate time for repentance? Is there time to reflect on past mistakes and make amends with others?

TREATING THE FAMILIES; NOT THE CANCER does not involve spiritual guidance (and, of course, cancer does not care who you are ... there is no discrimination).

We do, however, have many heart-to-heart conversations with moms and dads from all walks about life and their now inevitable mortality.

Jack & Jill was inspired by the spirit, smile and outlook of my wife Jill. She used to always say the only difference between the two of us (and most others) is that she knew her roadmap. She knew her general expiration date frankly.

Have you engaged in the thought: What would I do if I was told I had only months to live?

Rosh Hashanah is a time to come together as family and celebrate the new, sweet year. Some say it is a time to remind ourselves what we take for granted: family and health included.

The challah is often baked in a round shape to symbolize the cyclical nature of life. For some, a terminal diagnosis is a catalyst to return to their faith. For others we have seen it become a departure.

The one common denominator we have seen in our fifteen years is when a young mom or dad has late stage cancer, so do their children. The priority for everyone we have treated becomes FAMILY and the window to create cherished, positive, FUN memories ... while they can.

I just finished the draft for our 2019 Annual Report (aka our annual SMILE BOOK). I included this sweet note from one of our families: “When we walked into the hotel, the look in my kids’ eyes was priceless. My husband and I were also in awe and cried with joy. We were overwhelmed by the generosity, compassion and attention to detail we received by The Foundation. When a family goes through late stage cancer, it takes away their spirit of fun and sense of family.

Thank you for letting us have our family and our spirits renewed with this WOW! Experience. The memories truly will be my children’s greatest inheritance after I am gone in a few months.”

May we all celebrate FAMILY and create our own cherished memories this new year whether it be our last or not.

Jon Albert is the founder of Jack & Jill Late Stage Cancer Foundation.

Daily Forgiveness, Starting With Ourselves

By Marita Anderson During this season of self-reflection and spiritual preparation for Yamim Noraim, the Days of Awe, we are invited to contemplate our behaviors and ways we can heal by asking for forgiveness. Our traditional prayers are explicit about what constitutes sin.

Those of us who attend High Holiday services will stand in communal confession of wrongdoing, gently thumping our heart as if to soften or break down its defenses.

The rabbis traditionally use the holiday pulpit to address communal sins that plague our society: indifference to suffering, violence, injustice and inequity. What if we did not personally murder, lie or steal? One might say, “I am no Harvey Weinstein or Jeffrey Epstein; I have nothing to do with the wars of our time.” Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel famously said, “In a free society some are guilty, all are responsible.”

Bringing our attention to the big fissures and afflictions caused by the very worst of humanity is one way to awaken us to the responsibility we have to create change in our society. Yet, another approach, perhaps one that is even more difficult because of its personal nature, is the practice of emet, or truthful contemplation of our own habitual behaviors that cause disconnection in our family life.

Of course, it’s never our intent to cause harm; nevertheless most of us can come up with a list of situations within the sanctuaries of our homes that could have been handled differently. Much of what we might find are the garden-variety constrictions 18 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

ROSH HASHANAH of the heart: grudges that kept us from reaching out, judgments that made us feel just slightly superior, fleeting jealousies with their delicate stings, or numbing out when we should have tuned in. These do not cause giant fissures, but small, imperceptible cracks that weaken the very foundation that we rely on for support.

One of the most famous sentences about family life is the opening to Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina: “Happy families are all alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” I take great pleasure in re-reading an essay by Ursula Le Guin, in which she protests the idea that happy families are all alike. “The enormous cost and complexity of that ‘happiness,’ its dependence upon a whole substructure of sacrifices … balancing of greater and lesser evils—the tears, the fears, the migraines, the injustices, the censorships, the quarrels, the lies, the angers, the cruelties it involved—is all that to be swept away, brushed under the carpet by the brisk broom of a silly phrase, ‘a happy family’?”

I love this description of Le Guin’s happy family life, because it gives a gritty, truthful account. Family life takes tremendous work. The only thing that is constant is uncertainty and change. Le Guin’s description of what family life, even happy family life, is truly like brings spaciousness into the work of personal teschuvah. It allows for self-forgiveness and chesed, or compassion.

What if our spiritual work is about small forgiveness-es, more often? What if we approach forgiveness as a daily practice? What if we began with ourselves? Each day would be a new day; a new opportunity to let go, and to try again.

Marita Anderson is a Jewish chaplain and the wife of Temple Emanu-El Rabbi Spike Anderson.

The Dynamics of Divine-Human Forgiveness

By Rabbi Richard Baroff DD When and under what conditions would G-d forgive us? And are there any circumstances under which we would be in a position to forgive G-d?

Might Divine Forgiveness be withheld? Might even we not pardon G-d?

These are issues which permeate the Machzor/ ‫מחזור‬. The leitmotif of the High Holy Day period is Teshuvah/‫ תשובה‬repentance, but more accurately meaning our return to the Divine source of our being. G-d graciously allows us to return, which implies forgiveness. To some extent the willingness to repent is itself a form of restitution to the Holy One. It is also an act of restoration. We are restoring our very soul even as we reestablish our faith in G-d.

The Yamim Noraim/ ‫ימים נוראים‬, The Days of Awe reflect the complementary themes of penitence and forgiveness. Hence the High Holy Day period is known as the Aseret Yemei Teshuvah/ ‫ אשרת ימי תשובה‬The Ten Days of Repentance.

Yom Kippur/ ‫ יום כיפור‬is a day dominated by the dynamic of penitence and forgiveness. The Day of Atonement is the day of becoming at one with G-d. We also repair our relationships with others based on the Divine model, as each human being is made

‫בצלם אלוהים‬/b’tzelem Elohim in the image of G-d.

The theological philosopher Martin Buber suggested that the relationship between human beings and G-d formed the basis for meaningful relationships between people. In a similar way the ability of people to reconcile, to repent and to forgive, rests on the Divine relationship with men and women. The miracles of renewal and Atonement which flow freely from a merciful G-d give us all hope that moral and spiritual restoration are always possible. Possible between The Almighty and us, and thus plausible between one person and another.

The theology of the 10 Days of Penitence is based on Judgment (Din/‫ )דיו‬and Atonement (Kapara/‫)כפרה‬. G-d forgives us for our sins-both individual and collective failings. There really is no place in this theology for us to pardon G-d for failing us. Is there any such place in Judaism?

There may be: The Fast of Tisha B’Av—the 9th day of the month of Av in the late summer. Traditionally the destruction of both Temples occurred on the 9th of Av: the first Temple by the Babylonians in 587 or 586 BCE after standing for nearly four centuries; the second Temple at the hands of the Roman Empire in 70 CE after existing almost 600 years.

On Tisha B’Av such is our mourning that it has been argued that Jewish people become angry with G-d and so turn away from the Divine. Some rabbis do not agree with this interpretation. For if the Holy One is perfect, all knowing and completely good, how can G-d be in a position to ask for our forgiveness, and how might we grant it?

But on Tisha B’ Av we not only read Kinot/‫ (קינות‬dirges ) and the Book of Lamentations (Aicha/‫ )איכה‬,and for some congregations the Book of Job, but the entire Ark is sometimes covered—even as the curtain often is removed from the Ark-thus reflecting our separation from the Divine. The gulf between the Children of Israel and the Giver of Torah is never total though—the Eternal Light never goes out.

It is fair to say at least that some reconciliation between the Jewish people and our Creator needs to take place as the 9th of Av draws to a close. At the end of the somber service our spirts are lifted by the medieval Spanish poet philosopher Judah HaLevi’s call for ‫שלום‬/shalom peace/completeness from the four cardinal directions.

The partial rift between G-d and the Jews, unthinkable at any other time in the calendar, is reconciled by the time HaLevi’s poem “Zionide” is recited.

In the same way much earlier the prophet Zechariah tells us that our tears will be replaced by rejoicing on Av 9 at the Messiah’s advent. Also, he said that the sorrow we feel on this sad day should make us more compassionate towards others.

By the end of Yom Kippur and by the end of Tisha B’Av we are saved. On Yom Kippur we are redeemed from ourselves, and on the 9th of Av we are saved from the world. We are separated from G-d by our own transgressions on the Day of Atonement. We are distant from the Holy One on Tisha B’ Av because of the crushing events of our tragic history.

The rabbis taught us: the gates of prayer may be shut but even then, the gates of repentance are always open.

And of course, along with repentance, forgiveness and atonement are always available. May they be so for all of us this year.

Lshanah Tova ‫לשנה טובה‬ Rabbi Richard Baroff is the President of Guardians of the Torah.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 19

ROSH HASHANAH

Saluting Israel’s Heroes

By Seth R. Baron

L'Shanah Tovah Happy New Year!

For the past 71 years, the brave men and women of the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) have been risking their lives to protect Israel and Jews around the world. Every day, we are reminded of what it has taken, for Jewish people living in and outside of Israel, to guarantee the survival of the state of Israel. We must never forget the role soldiers of the IDF have played in defending our beloved Jewish homeland, and what it was like for Jews before they had their own country, before the heroes of the IDF were there to protect them.

Our organization, Friends of the Israel Defense Forces (FIDF), works tirelessly to care for the IDF soldiers, and offer them well-being, educational and recreational programs and services, in an effort to ease the burden placed on their young shoulders and provide some respite and relief.

There are 6,116 Lone Soldiers from 70 countries serving in the IDF today, including about 810 from the United States and 40 right here from Atlanta! Some 55 percent of Lone Soldiers serve in combat or combat-support roles. FIDF cares for all Lone Soldiers serving in the IDF through the Lone Soldiers Program, which supports them financially, socially, and emotionally during and after their challenging military service. FIDF also sponsors flights for Lone Soldiers to visit their families and friends in their countries of origin. FIDF’s Lone Soldiers Program is one of its flagship initiatives – and a source of pride for the Atlanta community.

Besides caring for the well-being of Israel’s Lone Soldiers, FIDF initiates and supports many other educational and well-being programs for IDF soldiers, such as the LEGACY program, which this summer brought 47 children and siblings of fallen IDF soldiers to the United States for summer camps, and the IMPACT! Scholarship Program, which grants college scholarships to Israeli combat veterans of modest means.

We in Atlanta and the Southeast Region proudly support these courageous young men and women. During the 2018-19 academic year, the Atlanta community sponsored 99 FIDF IMPACT! Scholarships – worth $16,000 apiece – for IDF veterans to pursue their academic dreams, and our community is sponsoring more than 105 scholarships for the upcoming school year.

Six years ago, as part of the FIDF Adopt-A-Brigade Program, the FIDF Southeast Region adopted the IDF’s Combat Intelligence Collection Corps. The program allows supporters to go beyond their donations and to get more involved, providing financial aid for IDF soldiers in need and their families, supporting Lone Soldiers, and funding general well-being activities and weeks of rest and recuperation for soldiers of the adopted brigade.

On behalf of FIDF, I wish you a good and sweet new year - L’Shana Tovah u’ Metukah. For more information or to support FIDF, please visit http://fidf.org/Southeast or call (678) 250-9030.

Seth Baron is the executive director of the FIDF Southeast Region.

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ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 21

ROSH HASHANAH

Become the Light

By Rabbi Berg

There will be challenges this year that will require us, as Jews, to heed and to think and to act in ways that are just and righteous and true. And we know, from deep in our bones, what is true or false? What is right or wrong?

• For some it will be a moral decision we have to make at work.

• For others, we will have to make difficult choices in the coming year about our families and friends.

• And for others still, right and wrong will play out in our activism.

As a Jewish people, we know right from wrong because the moral compass set within us tells us so. Where do Jews get this moral compass? We know right from wrong from Torah. The great prophets of Israel all spoke truth to power. And so did Nathan, even to King David, when it was necessary.

We Jews know about right and wrong from our historical experience. We know from hundreds of years of unjust governments and laws in Europe, and so we have a special responsibility to heed the prophet Isaiah, to be a light onto the nations.

And we Jews know about right from wrong because it is the central theme of these days of awe. We say in the liturgy: Hayom Harat Olam – today is the birthday of the world. Today the world is created anew. This is our annual opportunity to remember what our true values are once again and to rediscover the moral foundations of our lives. To live a moral life we need to be self-critical. A good question for Rosh Hashanah is – what have we done as individuals and as a community that is shameful? The failure to do that is what the rabbis call azut panim – the strength of the face – summoning the inner strength to face down every twinge of conscience.

As Jews we get a sense of right and wrong from scripture, from experience in history, and from our worship. How does this deep sense of right and wrong work in the uncertainties of everyday living?

"L'Shana Tova!"

Wishing You & Your Families a Sweet Healthy New Year!

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We practice our faith when we work daily to protect the dignity of others.

We practice our faith when we offer kindness to animals.

We practice our faith when we avoid extremism.

We practice our faith when we model being the kind of person we want our children and grandchildren to grow up to be.

We practice our faith when we act as if someone is always watching.

We practice our faith when we live with patience in a world of chaos.

We practice our faith in our moderation, in a world teeming with indulgence and gluttony.

We practice our faith when it’s time to speak out and when it’s time to keep silent.

We practice our faith when we strive for the truth; even when others abhor it.

We practice our faith when we live with humility.

A rabbi was once asked: “How does a person bring life into a darkened room?”

His answer: “Strike a match.” Then they asked him, “Rabbi how do you bring light to a darkened world?” – His answer: “Become the match, become the light!”

The world needs us, as Heschel teaches, to find our prophetic voice once again.

Our task is to find it, to strike the match and to light the fire of Torah — not to bring the world to Judaism but to bring Judaism to the world!

Dear friends – the page on our calendar that reads 5780 by the Hebrew reckoning is still clean and new. Nothing is yet written on it. Nothing will be written on it until we do the writing.

Rabbi Peter S. Berg is the Senior Rabbi at The Temple.

ROSH HASHANAH

By Rabbi Michael Bernstein

It is in these relationships where we learn most from our tradition, placing what is broken as well as what is whole together in the Holy Ark.

Forgiveness is often spoken of like it’s a choice between holding on to hurt or letting go. Sometimes forgiving is that simple. Often it is not.

According to the Talmud, the first set of Tablets that Moses shattered after the Golden Calf were placed in the Holy Ark beside the second Tablets that remained intact. When we forgive someone who hurt us, it is also possible that we will find ourselves holding both the broken and the whole. How can we do both without the shards of broken trust piercing into that which is intact? Our tradition respects the delicate interplay of what can be fixed and what remains broken.

Just as a person’s apology must be sincere, so should a person’s forgiveness.

This statement is the corollary to the often-given counsel that forgiveness is something you should do for yourself, not the other person. There is a deep truth in this idea. Holding on to hurt and anger can eat away at your own insides, compounding the internal toll that is taken, while doing nothing to the one who caused offense. And yet, as much as releasing one’s own hurt can be beneficial, doing so in a real way takes some work as well.

Perhaps for this reason, offering forgiveness and asking for forgiveness are treated unlike almost any other practice in Jewish Life. When the great sage Rabbi Moses ben Maimon, the Rambam or Maimonides, compiled his unparalleled compendium of all of Jewish Law, he put the particulars of forgiveness and other aspects of making amends in the section devoted to beliefs and principles, rather than alongside observances for occasions and seasons or obligations one has to another.

In doing so, Maimonides showed that forgiveness is not an act, but a state of being; not a moment that requires certain conditions, but an attitude.

Those people with whom we are closest are often the same who hurt us most deeply. They are also the ones with whom we invest the most effort to be authentic.

Rabbi Michael Bernstein is the spiritual leader of Congregation Gesher L’Torah in Alpharetta.

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ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 23

ROSH HASHANAH

Forgiveness?

By Jane Horowitz Bick When Holocaust survivor Eva Kor, who died July 4, publicly forgave aging Nazi Oskar Groening at his April 2015 trial as an accessory to murder at Auschwitz, she unleashed a firestorm of global controversy. She embraced him, saying, “…forgiveness is the best revenge of all.” He held her hand and hugged her back.

Many survivors called Kor a traitor. But she said, “Forgiveness is personal. … I do it for myself not because they deserve it, but because I deserve it. I am finally free [from the grip of hate].”

As a child, she and her sister endured Josef Mengele’s sadistic, painful, pseudoscientific medical experiments performed on twins at Auschwitz. Groening, called the “Bookkeeper of Auschwitz,” counted confiscated Jewish possessions and money, and witnessed the mass murders. He died in 2018 at 96.

Survivor Jona Laks, who lives in Tel Aviv, strongly disagrees with Kor. She and her sister also were among Mengele’s 3,000 twin victims, of whom only 200 survived.

Speaking in August in Jackson Hole, Wyo., she said, “Forgiveness erases memory. It is our task [as survivors] to try to pass it over to the next generation and it should not be forgotten.”

As we begin New Year observances, these two survivors may give us pause for thought. Kor seized the power to forgive, unasked, to heal herself. Laks fears to forgive heinous Nazi crimes is to forget that which must be remembered.

For teshuvah, our sages tell us the offender must ask the wronged party for forgiveness. With very few exceptions, if any, former Nazis neither asked forgiveness nor showed contrition for their sins against our people. German reparations through the Claims Conference, founded in 1951, resulted only from Jewish leaders’ pursuit of payments to survivors. Some called it blood money and refused the payments.

Scholars more learned than this writer posit that murder is a sin for which no atonement is possible. Six million murdered people cannot forgive. However, today’s Germany leads the world in Holocaust education and monuments to remembrance.

German attorneys continue prosecuting aging Nazis, with a trial related to Stutthof scheduled to begin next month in Hamburg.

At the same time, Germany is seeing a rise in Neo-Nazism while civilians and authorities remain passive. According to the BBC, “the boot-wearing, young, unemployed male skinheads are out of date [as they] use modern forms of protest and social media that appeal to students and middle-class professionals.” They call themselves nationalists who say they care deeply about the fatherland and want to rebuild the country for their citizens – the German people.

Pause for thought? Yes. This season of new beginnings offers us the opportunity to think about the Holocaust as our lesson for the future. And for us, teshuvah remains a powerful symbol of righting our wrongs as well as forgiving those who sincerely ask our forgiveness.

May we all be inscribed in the Book of Life this New Year.

Jane Horowitz Bick is a member of the board of directors of Eternal Life-Hemshech.

Forgiveness Unleashes the Power to Heal

By Terri Bonoff What does forgiveness bring to mind? In one of the most important tests of life I have been given, I was asked to “forgive and accept.” My husband wanted a divorce when our sons were 18 months old, and 5 years old. He loved me, and yet he couldn’t thrive inside our marriage. I believed marriage to be a pact with G-d, and I was deeply troubled. Yet, I clearly understood our marriage was over.

We both wrestled with this conflict. We decided to choose each other for life as co-parents and loving friends and let the marriage dissolve. I chose forgiveness and acceptance. That acceptance opened the door to new love and family. After being remarried for 26 years, I can say that all four of our children are deeply loved by all of their parents.

For many in similar situations, it is not that easy. As CEO of JF&CS, I am keenly aware of the importance of creating a culture of tikkun olam, based on love, forgiveness and acceptance. This culture must embody all who are part of JF&CS and most importantly, our clients and community in need. Those in need are often difficult to help; their lives upended and their emotions raw. We have a choice; meet them where they are and encircle them with love and hope or remain arms-length and assess with a clinical eye. What does forgiveness have to do with this conundrum? We disappoint.

It cannot be helped. We have high standards and expectations for those we give our time, our love and our commitment to. We do not live up to each other’s standards from time to time. We judge. We get hurt. We are misunderstood. We retreat. This act of separation, of placing distance between ourselves and those we love, work with, are called upon to serve, has a cost. What is it?

As I reflect on that question, I know the answer: it costs me the true experience of myself. I am certain that, when living in G-d’s image, I forgive. Therefore, when holding grudges, judging, not forgiving, I am not living to my true potential. My impact is thwarted.

As I grapple with the enormity of the responsibility and the honor to lead this extraordinary organization, I know I must lead by example. I must begin by embracing my team, my new community, and most importantly those in need, with love, the power of healing and acceptance. Forgiveness unleashes our power to heal. When we strive to live in G-d’s image and work in partnership with each other, we can truly transform lives and heal the world. It is urgent that we commit to unleashing the power of our potential, and pledge to live with forgiveness in our hearts and in our deeds.

We will make mistakes. We will fail. Let’s forgive ourselves for that and begin anew.

L’Shana Tova Terri Bonoff is the CEO of Jewish Family & Careers Services.

24 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

ROSH HASHANAH

The Costs and Benefits of Forgiveness

By Alan M. Dershowitz

L’Shana Tova

Wishing you and your family a happy and healthy new year

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We live in a world where forgiveness of evil often comes too easily and at too high a price.

The world forgave the Nazis too quickly by rebuilding Germany with the Marshall Plan. Hitler told the German people that if they kill the Jews, they would be better off economically. They did. They were. They are.

We forgave the Germans because we needed to confront the Soviet Union. Pragmatism prevailed over justice.

The result is that “never again” became “again and again and again,” as the perpetrators of genocide got the message of the Marshall plan: If Nazism was so easily forgiven in the interest of pragmatism, every future manifestation of evil will also be forgiven, if the needs of pragmatism require the forgiveness of evil.

Sadat’s barbarism during the Yom Kippur War was forgiven in the name of Camp David. As with the Marshall Plan, it worked. The past was forgiven to help the future.

But the price of forgiveness can be high if it discounts justice.

King Hussein has also been forgiven — by history, by the world and by most Israelis — for his barbarism before and during the Six Day War, because he made peace with Israel. Again, the right pragmatic judgment, prioritizing the future over the past.

But again, the forgiveness came at the cost of a compromise with justice.

Yasser Arafat was forgiven his terrorism while he was still murdering children and innocent adults. World religious and political leaders welcomed and even honored him in the name of pragmatism. National leaders calculated that if they forgave his terrorism, their countries would not be targeted. They may have been right in the short run, but in the long run their forgiveness only incentivized terrorism as a tolerated tactic.

Forgiveness has an important role to play both on the international and personal stage. But it must always be balanced against the need for justice. The Bible commands “justice, justice shall you pursue.” Why is the word justice repeated? Commentators respond that the justice of the past should be balanced against the justice of the future. That is as true of personal as of political forgiveness. Victims of repeated abuse too often forgive their serial abusers, thereby encouraging even further abuse.

We must have zero tolerance for abuse of every kind.

If forgiveness for evil is to occur justly, it must be preceded by an acknowledgement from the perpetrator that he or she has committed evil. Forgiveness is too often given routinely without any such acknowledgement. I have mixed feelings about the Rosh Hashanah tradition in many congregations of simply turning to friends, neighbors and family members and offering a hollow forgiveness. To be worthy of being part of a system of justice, forgiveness must be a process, not a singular annual act.

So on this Rosh Hashanah, think before you forgive. Make forgiveness a meaningful aspect of justice, rather than an empty gesture or ritual. The person asking forgiveness must deserve forgiveness.

Don’t cheapen the important concept of forgiveness by routinizing it. Not every sinner deserves forgiveness. Reserve the valuable currency of forgiveness for those who most deserve it.

Alan M. Dershowitz, a renowned lawyer, is a professor of law emeritus at Harvard Law School and author of “The Case Against the Democrats Impeaching Trump.”

26 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

ROSH HASHANAH

By Rabbi Daniel Dorsch

You may remember when The New York Times ran an article in 2003 about the only two Jews left in Afghanistan, Zablon Simintov and Ishaq Levin. Until Levin passed away at the age of 80 in 2005, the two Jews continued to detest one another. One accused the other of trying to take over the synagogue. There was a fight. Then, they simply refused to coexist. Together, the Times quipped, they had survived the Taliban, but could they survive each other?

The entire quandary of two Jews hating each other and stuck in one synagogue seems like a scene out of Sartre’s “No Exit.” “Hell,” wrote Sartre, “is other people.” Or, perhaps, our quandary could seem like a precursor to a line taken from a pulpit joke about a Jew stranded on a desert island building two synagogues (the one he’ll go to, and one he wouldn’t be caught dead setting foot into).

More so, for me, our Afghanistan story is a cautionary tale about what can happen when we close our hearts and refuse to forgive one another. Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel famously remarked that “no religion is an island.” Heschel, in his time, was speaking about the importance of interreligious dialogue. However, the Yamim Noraim remind us of how critical intrareligious dialogue among Jews can be toward maintaining a strong, vibrant, community.

In the new year of 5780, Simintov remains the last Jew in Afghanistan. Admittedly, he acknowledges, he lives a somewhat lonely religious existence. For those of us living in the rich and vibrant community of Atlanta, this should not come as no surprise. One can hardly live a meaningful Jewish existence on an island. Yet if we refuse to forgive one another, then this will precisely be the path we will have chosen for ourselves.

This new year let us not forget that a life without forgiveness only leads to a lonely, island-bound existence in Afghanistan.

Rabbi Daniel Dorsch is the spiritual leader of Congregation Etz Chaim.

By Rabbi Michoel Druin This past week I was selected to serve as a juror at the Fulton County Superior Court. The case for which I was selected was a criminal case. It was interesting to note that forgiveness was not part of the proceedings. Saying sorry and being forgiven would not impact whether the jury would vote guilty or not.

On the other hand, in Hashem’s court on Rosh Hashanah – on the day we call Yom Hadin (Day of Judgment) – saying sorry and asking Hashem for forgiveness plays a primary role in what the verdict will be.

And how do we earn Hashem’s forgiveness? One way to do so is by forgiving others. How many times do we feel aggrieved by another? Do we hold on to this grudge for days, months, or even years?

How quick and easy do we make it for another to say sorry to us and for us to truly forgive? The way to earn Hashem’s forgiveness is to forgive others.

Every night before we go to sleep, there is a prayer we say in which we declare the following: “I forgive anyone who has wronged me. Whether it was something that impacted my self-esteem, whether it impacted me physically, emotionally or financially, I hereby declare that I forgive them.”

Hashem tells us that in return that he, too, forgives us for anything we may have done wrong.

May we all be blessed to receive from Hashem a “not guilty” verdict and may we be blessed with a sweet, healthy and prosperous new year.

Rabbi Michoel Druin is head of school of the Chaya Mushka Children's House Day School.

28 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

ROSH HASHANAH

Dont Miss the Boat

By Elana Frank

By Rabbi Chezky Edelson

Every time Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur roll around, I get a little bit nervous. I guess you could say I’m “shaking in my boots.” Was I a better person this year than last year? How was I as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend? Or more specifically, is there anyone I have wronged with whom I need to (gulp) make amends?

A central theme throughout the High Holy Days is forgiveness. We are supposed to forgive others, and in turn, G-d is supposed to forgive us. Right? It’s what we’ve learned since Hebrew school and each year we try to get it right.

But there’s a type of forgiveness that people often forget, that flies low under the radar, but is just as important as the ones I mentioned before, and that’s forgiving one’s self. In all aspects of our lives, we tend to be harder on ourselves than on others. When it comes to fertility difficulties, this especially rings true. Often, we blame ourselves for something we could have done better. “If only I had tracked my ovulation better.” “If only I had eaten better.” “If only I had exercised more.” If only I had exercised less.” “If only I didn’t let things get to me so much to be so stressed out all the time.” Sometimes, in the midst of the pain, we blame our spouses, our doctors, even G-d, but without realizing it, many of us also blame ourselves.

The Torah commands in the book of Leviticus to “love your neighbor as yourself.”

(19:18) This verse tells us that we must love others like we love ourselves. In fact, you can’t even fulfill this dictum unless you love yourself first! Forgiveness is about releasing the resentment we have against ourselves, about accepting ourselves as we are and letting go of our self-judgment and self-criticism. So often, we focus on forgiving others and G-d forgiving us on Yom Kippur, but we can’t forget how important it is to forgive ourselves. My blessing to you in the coming year is to embrace the power of self-forgiveness, releasing the resentment so that we can embrace all the future has to offer.

There was once a very wealthy Jew who was also a very big miser. He was solicited for every type of worthy cause, but he could never part with even a cent.

Once, while out surfing he was caught by a massive wave and swept out to sea. A rescuer came to his aid and, leaning over the edge of his small vessel, he shouted, “give me your hand!” The miser replied, “I’ve never given anyone anything, and I don’t plan on starting now.” Thinking quick, his rescuer responded, “All right, don’t give me your hand. You take mine!”

We are now in the Hebrew month of Elul. There is a Jewish tradition that the Hebrew spelling of the word Elul evokes the words of the psalm “ani ledodi vedodi li,” which means I am with my beloved and my beloved is with me. This teaches us that Hashem, our beloved God, is especially close to us during this month which leads up to the high holidays.

When seeking God’s forgiveness, we are sometimes like the miser in the story.

God wants to rescue us, but we refuse to extend our hand. When our dear and loving God sees that we won’t seek His forgiveness, He doesn’t hesitate. He says take my hand and I will draw you close; I want to forgive you.

We should learn this lesson and try to emulate God in this manner. How often do we see friends of many years suddenly have a falling out over a seemingly trivial matter? If we find ourselves in such a situation, let’s do everything we can to bring about peace and forgiveness, even if it means initiating the reconciliation and reaching out to the party at fault. We should not worry about the way that the other person might have insulted or cheated us, because “ani ledodi vedodi li,” Hashem is holding us close and he will ensure that we have a safe journey.

Rabbi Chezky Edelson is the educational director of Kollel Ner Hamizrach.

Elana Frank is executive director and founder of Jewish Fertility Foundation.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 29

ROSH HASHANAH

By Sherry Frank

In this high holiday season when we mark new beginnings and seek forgiveness, can we personally respond individually and also communally? I approach the new year with contemplation and purpose. New beginnings provide the possibilities for change, progress and optimism.

Forgiveness can be challenging and is not an easy concept. It requires honesty for a person to acknowledge that they have made a mistake. It takes courage to ask someone we have hurt to forgive us. It takes action as we can’t sit back and hope time will heal all wounds and personal feelings. At times it requires perseverance as we may have to ask for forgiveness several times before relationships can be repaired and forgiveness granted.

I feel the need to confront both individual and communal forgiveness. I will request forgiveness from my family and friends whom I may have unintentionally hurt or offended this year. I know I can’t ask God to forgive me for my personal transgressions. I alone must take action and seek forgiveness from the individuals I have slighted.

At the same time, I feel troubled about the people being hurt by the actions of individuals and our country. In this new season I must do more than pray to God for more equality, human and civil rights, and peace. To stand idly by in the face of injustice is to be complicit with it.

We are blessed to live in Atlanta with our growing Jewish community, visionary leaders, significant organizations and congregations, and countless opportunities for tikkun olam.

If we are personally pained by the bias against Israel, Holocaust denial, increased anti-Semitism and hate crimes, is there a role for us? If we are troubled by gun violence, hunger and homelessness, attacks on reproductive freedom, privacy and individual rights, do we feel a call to action? If we remember our ancestors’ history of seeking safe haven in America and are distressed at the denial of refugees pursuing asylum at our borders and the immigrants being deported to face possible death in returning to the countries of their birth, should we respond?

In this season of renewal, do these inequities cause you to wonder if we are losing this country’s sacred values? My answer to these questions is YES. We can’t solve all of these issues, nor can we resist taking action. We may not be responsible for the world’s problems, nor must we ask for forgiveness. I personally cannot see this injustice without doing my part to bring about some small measure of healing. I cannot forgive myself if I do nothing.

Thankfully, each of us with our diverse political views can take advantage of being a part of this wonderful Atlanta Jewish community and can volunteer and make a difference. We can usher in the Jewish new year by opening our hearts and seeking opportunities for forgiveness with individuals as well as communities in need of healing.

Sherry Frank is president of the NCJW Atlanta Section.

30 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 31

ROSH HASHANAH

BEST OF JEWISH ATLANTA

Shana Tova!

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L’Shana Tova

By Rabbi Binyomin Friedman The forgiveness I seek indicates how I view my wrongdoing. Let me give you an example. My wife asks me to pick up some ice cream for her when I go to the store. I forget and come home empty-handed.

I say, “I’m sorry.” What I mean is, “I had no malicious intent, I just forgot. I don’t feel a need to ask for forgiveness. I didn’t intend to hurt you.”

Or I say, “Forgive me.” What I mean is, “I promised to bring you ice cream and I didn’t keep my word. I acted dishonorably and I request your forgiveness.”

Or I say, “I apologize; how can I atone?” What I mean is, “I was totally insensitive to your needs. Forgetting the ice cream indicates a fundamental breach in our relationship. I want to repair that breach, which will require an act of atonement toward you, whom I value.”

The difference between the first two and the third is that the first two are about me. I am forgetful or I didn’t live up to my word. You, and our relationship, are not very important. The third, however, is about us. If I had been sensitive to your needs, I would never have come home empty-handed. You mean too much to me. The fact that you didn’t get what you wanted leaves me feeling empty. I need to atone.

Yom Kippur is not the Day of Regret or the Day of Forgiveness, it is the Day of Atonement. When two parties have a relationship, and one lets down the other, there must be atonement. The existence of a Day of Atonement means there is a relationship that is need of repair. What I seek on Yom Kippur defines my sense of myself vis-a-vis G-d.

Now the truth is that my wife doesn’t need the ice cream, but she would certainly like it. Perhaps more than enjoying the ice cream, she would like me to do something for her, which will elicit a sense of gratitude and closeness between us. Her needs are not my burden, but my opportunity.

So it is, too, with our loving Creator. Although G-d doesn’t need me, in His kindness, He has created a relationship that looks like He does. He makes demands of me that show that I am important to Him. On top of it all, He has presented me with a special opportunity. Not a day to say, “I’m sorry,” or a day of forgiveness, but a day to atone and to repair our relationship.

May this season of forgiveness bring us repaired relationships on earth and in Heaven.

Rabbi Binyomin Friedman is spiritual leader of Congregation Ariel.

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You Can Tell a Man by the Forgiveness He Seeks

Forgiving Those Who Have Hurt Me Terribly

By David Geffen Just after 9/11, 2019, I was hurt terribly at the Rosh Hashanah party created by the administration at the senior residence where I live in Jerusalem. I walked out at the conclusion of the program before the refreshments were served, as is the custom, by the entire staff.

About an hour after I had returned to my room, the director knocked on the door holding the special refreshments and the very interesting and artistic book done by a staff member for each resident’s pleasure.

He approached me in a very diplomatic way, initially telling me about the contributions I make because I give lectures in English on the holidays and other topics of Jewish interest. I was not ready to be mollified by this, so I said, “Please, I have heard this before.” Then he asked me why I was so upset, even though he knew why.

I will not explain what happened except to say that we have 70 Israelis who speak Hebrew and a little English and French. Twenty residents speak English, but a few know a little Hebrew. The program was loaded in favor of the Hebrew speakers without any consideration of the English speakers. The only words in English in an hourlong program were by the salesperson of apartments who is Israeli and has learned a little English. The director spoke from a three-page typed Hebrew script on the meaning of Rosh Hashanah and how the staff does everything it can for the residents. That was very true, but then he spoke for 30 seconds in broken English.

He asked me to forgive him and the entire staff because this same program format had been followed for five or six years. I stared at him with my mouth open. He said a few other things to pacify me, which they really did not do. I have been living in this senior residence for three years. Since I write in The Jerusalem Post, regularly, I was asked to write two articles about the place where I live. I was happy to do it. What

ROSH HASHANAH bothered me so was that “this is the way we have been doing it.” No rethinking what the past had been, and trying to reevaluate what should be done to make the event better.

As you realized, I was trapped in this particular situation. Since this is my home – I guess forever – I had no alternative but to say I accept his apology from him and for all the staff who planned this program. He said, “I can assure you that we will take in consideration all the suggestions you have offered to make the big programs of this nature better.” Clearly, this was a pragmatic forgiveness on my part. It seems I had no choice.

Those of you who know me realize I can think fast, at least for the time being.

On Thursday, Sept. 19, I had volunteered to give a talk in English on Rosh Hashanah.

I am sending a note to every English speaker in our building that I am inviting them to bring their books in which they have a personalized page. We will have our own English celebration of the New Year. Guess I do need to deepen my concept of forgiveness in the future.

Rabbi David Geffen is a former Atlantan who lives in Jerusalem.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 33

ROSH HASHANAH

By Margo Dix Gold

Forgive us. Pardon us. Grant us atonement. We beseech G-d to be merciful, to accept that we recognize we have transgressed, turning our lives toward better ways. We gather together and cast bread into a body of moving water in order to symbolically carry our sins away. And we fast in order to personally focus on the enormity of this opportunity to recast our lives in the moving waters of our daily living.

Further, we are not limited to a single day in order to achieve this. The book of life remains open until Sukkot concludes, giving us additional time to traverse the path to salvation, forgiveness and ultimately, worthiness of inscription in the book of life.

And G-d is not the only one of whom we seek forgiveness. We must seek forgiveness from others and we must seek forgiveness within ourselves. But how do we rise to authenticity in this?

And while we may express it in public ways and in symbolic ways, it is really a most private undertaking. Forgiveness is tricky. But how do we rise to authenticity in this?

Forgiveness is tricky. It requires authenticity and sincerity by both the one seeking forgiveness and the one offering it. But by what is that measured?

My mom would advise me to forgive, but not forget. If you’re not forgetting, then does it pass the threshold of forgiveness? Does it matter who’s seeking forgiveness from us? I’m quicker to forgive those I love, those I care about or with whom I’ve got a meaningful relationship. And so, do they need to ask forgiveness, or do I simply forgive them because it fits my perception of love and acceptance? Some may remember “Love Story,” a sentimental book and movie with the line ‘love means never having to say you’re sorry.’ I don’t prescribe to that notion. I think love means you should say you’re sorry (if you are).

So even as we mark the new year as a time of reflection, any day is a worthy day to look inside one’s self. Forgiveness I believe begins with some ability to forgive ourselves, to understand that each of us struggles, we make mistakes, we don’t always get life right, we don’t always treat others as we ourselves would like to be treated and in turn, others don’t necessarily treat us as we believe we deserve to be treated. Intention is the heart and measure of the matter. Are we able to forgive and to forget? Are others?

Forgiveness can be tricky. I hope on the dawn of 5780 we are each able to find and to extend forgiveness that is authentic and sincere.

On behalf of my husband Larry and all our family, may you be inscribed for a year of peace in the world and of inner peace. Shana tova.

Margo Dix Gold is immediate past international president of United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism and managing director of Hadassah Super South.

34 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 35

ROSH HASHANAH

Forgiveness – Divine and Human

By Rabbi Arnold M. Goodman The Book of Jonah, read on Yom Kippur afternoon, affirms both the power of repentance and the ever-present possibility of forgiveness. It’s a familiar story: Jonah, the reluctant prophet, is dispatched by God to the city of Nineveh to warn its inhabitants that unless they repent in another 40 days, the city will be overthrown. It was a stark and frightening message that alluded to the well-known catastrophe of the overthrow of Sodom and Gomorrah.

The inhabitants of Nineveh, together with their king, donned sackcloth, fasted and engaged in a communitywide repentance. They voiced the hope that that God would relent, turn back from His wrath and spare them. Lo and behold God did acknowledge and accept their repentance “and renounced the punishment He had planned to bring upon them.” (Jonah 3:10) Jonah, who believed the sinful city should have been destroyed, berated God for “being gracious and compassionate.” (ibid 4:2) To this, God responded that He rightfully accepted their repentance because He did “care about Nineveh, the great city, in which there were more than a hundred and twenty-thousand persons … and many beasts as well.” (ibid 4:11) He thus affirmed the Divine power of repentance and the importance of forgiveness and reconciliation.

What of us? It is not uncommon to be rightfully furious with family and friends who may have not only disappointed us, but actually caused us great harm. Yet if and when they turn to us in true contrition, seeking to make amends and repair the relationship, are we capable and willing to emulate God, who embraced and forgave Nineveh’s truly repentant sinners? Will we reject Jonah’s adamant refusal to accept the possibility of reconciliation?

When, on the other hand, we have been the perpetrators of hurt and disappointment, will we strive to demonstrate the courage to reach out to ask for forgiveness and hopefully achieve reconciliation?

Will the account of Jonah sensitize us to the possibility and the willingness to turn a new leaf and respond to honest attempts to let bygones be bygones?

From Jerusalem, my best wishes for a Shanah Tovah u’Metukah, a good and sweet year. May we be blessed with good tidings, good health and the ever-present capacity to reach out to, and to be touched by, the healing power of forgiveness, both Divine and human.

Rabbi Arnold M. Goodman was senior rabbi of Ahavath Achim Synagogue from 19822002, and is now its senior rabbinic scholar. He now lives in Jerusalem.

‘I’m Sorry’ Versus Forgiveness

By Carolyn Harari It feels these days I’m saying “sorry” almost as much as I am saying “please” or “thank you.” I apologize when someone bumps into me, when I get too excited, even when a waiter brings me the wrong dish at a restaurant. Saying “sorry” has become my reflex for whenever things are inconvenient — and it’s become too easy for me to say. So when I truly had to say, “I’m sorry” to a friend, the words felt empty for a reason I couldn’t pinpoint, until an amazing group of 8-year-olds taught me why.

Each morning during the summer, our campers met in their bunks to have mishpacha (family) time to discuss the day’s schedule and a Jewish value. One morning I sat with a Chaverim girls’ bunk that was struggling to get along. Their counselors proposed saying “sorry” to each other and moving on, so everyone could have a good week. The girls were not convinced. “I’m sorry” doesn’t mean anything,” said one camper. I was taken aback by this statement. “I’m sorry” was my catch phrase; how could it not mean anything?

Thus began a conversation about asking for forgiveness verses apologizing. These wise children taught me that asking for forgiveness involves admitting to making a mistake, while saying “sorry” can diminish the offended person’s emotions because 36 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

ROSH HASHANAH of the expectation for immediate forgiveness. Exoneration is a process. Ultimately, forgiveness must be rooted in kavod (respect) and chesed (kindness). My mind was blown after spending the morning with these 12, 8-year-old girls.

I’ve taken this conversation to heart. I now think more deeply when using the phrase “I’m sorry” with my husband, friends, co-workers, and even my dog (who typically can do no wrong). I now stop to really reflect on what I’ve done wrong and how to avoid doing it again.

As we begin the New Year, I’m challenging myself, and all of you, to not hand out empty apologies. And, I’m whole-heartedly working on replacing “I’m sorry” for “thank you” and “excuse me.” Let’s use 5780 to give each other the grace of making mistakes and the time to properly atone for them.

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Carolyn Harari is director of camps for In the City Camps.

Forgiveness in the Dark Age of Trump

By Arnold Heller Psychologists define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you (Google). On Yom Kippur, Jews ask God to forgive their sins and atone by fasting to learn that repentance is hard.

Forgiveness, however, does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses (greatergood.berkely.edu). I forgive the now very democratic and peaceful German people but will never let them forget the national stain of the Holocaust. In contrast, I can never forgive Adolph Hitler and willing Nazi executioners who committed the ultimate diabolical crime and collective sin.

As a Jew and an American, I am deeply offended and troubled by President Trump’s 2 1/2 -year record of over 13,000 lies. I reject and resent his moral equivalence gestures that encourage neo-Nazi crazies to climb out from under rocks and attack minorities. Trump’s hateful speech possibly sparked two far-right maniacs to enter synagogues in Pittsburgh and San Diego and wantonly shoot a dozen Jews to death.

The two mass murders of Jews praying in synagogues were the first in U.S. history. Other amoral Trump firsts are demonizing Jews with a disloyalty label, gaslighting the nation, and warring against facts, science, truth, and the mainstream media.

Are these unpardonable sins for an American president? If, as some Christians claim, God made Trump president, then I must ask if God is missing in action, if not dead.

I understand and accept why many Jews voted for Trump in 2016. Three very close relatives that I love voted for Trump because they liked his policies, if not him.

James Comey’s last-minute investigation of Hillary Clinton’s emails made her appear suspect, too, so why not consider Trump, who was fresh in comparison?

Trump’s indecent, erratic, and utterly corrupt behavior to date should disqualify him to reasonable voters who have the nation’s best interests at heart. Trump’s being awarded a second term unrestrained by re-election threatens our democratic processes and nation’s soul. Historians of the future may well determine the 45th presidency as an American Dark Age. Should we, in conclusion, consider holding Jews who vote for Trump in 2020 partially responsible for the fate of the country if he’s re-elected? If Trump is an unforgivable candidate, are Jews who vote for him a second-time deplorable?

If they are still part of Trump’s base, are they condoning racism and white nationalism? Or excusing authoritarians, cranks, and reactionaries? Or skewing dangerously uninformed, forgetful, naive or misguided?

Or simply not loving their children and grandchildren enough?

Arnold Heller is chair of Atlanta-Ra’anana Sister City Committee and author of “Dues: The Coming of Allie Cohen.”

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ROSH HASHANAH

Shana Tova!

I Ask Forgiveness

By Jan Jaben-Eilon I have two confessions to make: One, I am actually a very shy person. Pictures of me as a child show me hiding behind my mother’s skirts. As an adult, I learned that holding a reporter’s notebook in my hand emboldens me to speak to people — but without it, I hang back.

Two, I have a terrible — absolutely terrible — memory for names. And sometimes faces. This weakness only exacerbates my shyness. I hesitate to approach people who I know I should know because I can’t remember their names – and I know I should. As I continue to see them in my synagogue or in the community, I only feel worse that I can’t remember who they are and how I know them.

I’ve always said this fault would keep me out of politics. But it actually holds me back from a lot of socialization and probably friendships. But that’s my problem.

I feel worse about hurting anyone’s feelings. It’s not that I don’t care. I really never developed a skill for remembering names. So, I want to apologize to – and ask forgiveness from – anyone who has either been hurt by my aloofness or just wondered why I haven’t acknowledged them. It’s just that I don’t know what to say! Or, who you are!

Jan Jaben-Eilon is a contributor to the AJT.

38 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 39

ROSH HASHANAH

By Meliss Jakubovic

The shul in the center of the city

Forgiveness … the word itself makes most feel like they have to come crawling back with their tail between their legs. But inside this relentless word is a magical space for healing.

Forgiveness is the key that can release tension, anger, misunderstanding and pain. It’s the springboard for a fresh, new version of your life.

One of my goals for 2019 was to repair important, broken or damaged relationships from my past.

Some were close friends, some were family members and others were people I highly admired, but we had a misunderstanding or a falling out.

Once I put this intention out into the world, things started to slowly change for me. Before I knew it, I was given the opportunity to patch each relationship one by one. It felt magical. After spending the time to work on one relationship, the next opportunity fell into my lap. Before long, I had been able to mend several broken relationships and even strengthen them beyond where they left off.

Was it easy? Of course not. Was it worth it? Absolutely.

Buddha said that holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else—you are the one that gets burned. The internal pain is bitter and continues to fester within oneself. Once I was able to release the resentment, I was able to begin healing.

Often, I coach people on how to open up their hearts to opportunities, experiences and understanding. Forgiveness isn’t for those that wronged you. It’s for yourself.

It allows you to heal, to become whole again, to feel a sense of release ...

So how do you forgive?

I challenge you to bring into your heart the image of someone for whom you feel much resentment. Take a moment to feel that person in the center of your chest. In your heart, say to that person: “For anything you may have done that caused me pain, anything you did intentionally or unintentionally through your thoughts, words or actions, I forgive you.” Allow that person to settle into your heart, opening to them at your own pace. If it hurts, let it hurt. Begin to relax the iron grip of your resentment and begin to let go of that incredible anger. And then allow them to be forgiven.

Forgiveness can’t exist without its sister Gratitude. Gratitude is the expression of what you are thankful for, and when you want to release pain and trigger positive actions and feelings, you have to first stop and think about what you are truly thankful for.

I know the difficulty of this challenge (especially if they wronged you or hurt you in insurmountable ways), but change isn’t easy. Think of three things you are grateful for about this person—be it a lesson you learned from that experience, perhaps children that you birthed because of them or even the stronger person you became afterwards.

Life is short. Don’t spend it being angry. Forgive and move forward so you can heal and become a better person and enjoy the time you have here on this earth fully.

Chag Sameach.

Meliss Jakubovic is an online marketing strategist, life coach, and Israeli folk dance instructor.

The largest Sephardic synagogue in the Southeast nestled in Brookhaven, Atlanta.

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40 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

By Karen Isenberg Jones

ROSH HASHANAH

For me, forgiveness is one of the most powerful words in the English dictionary. Forgiveness is to give for yourself and for others. Forgiveness is the ultimate act of love and empowerment. It is the necessary action for humans to recover, learn and grow.

Both the acts of forgiving and being forgiven are equally important when uncovering the essence of the meaning behind “forgiveness.”

By forgiving others we give a gift to ourselves – the gift of liberation. To forgive is to repair, to move forward and to set oneself free.

By forgiving we say, “I will not be a victim. I will not allow this action to define me. I will rise above.” By forgiving we enhance our own ability to repair and find common ground. By forgiving we strengthen our sympathies.

Forgiveness is also a gift we bestow upon others. By forgiving we are teaching kindness and communicating a message of trust. When we forgive, we award someone else a second chance and an opportunity to improve.

As we embark on the Jewish new year, we are directed to seek forgiveness for wrongs we have committed throughout the year. We reflect on how we may have hurt others with our words or our deeds. We are called to acknowledge our shortcomings and admit our failures. Through this process we learn to be more empathetic and to improve ourselves in the future.

This Rosh Hashanah, I commit myself to approaching more than a couple people to ask forgiveness. I plan to shepherd my children along the path of doing the same.

It’s the simple act of asking and giving forgiveness that furthers our humanity and advances our families and communities.

Karen Isenberg Jones is the co-owner of Karen Jones PR.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 41

ROSH HASHANAH Forgiveness

By Susanne Katz

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Road Runner, Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny and Garfield were some of my favorite cartoon characters in my youth. Whether on the television screen or in the comic strips, they were having fun doing their inappropriate and often destructive shenanigans.

They laughed as they walked away from the mess they made, and the damage was cleaned up after they left the scene. I can’t remember any of these characters turning around and declaring “I’m sorry,” or “Please forgive me.”

I wondered if the lack of moral conscience was because they were animals, not human beings. Still, they seemed to have human emotions.

Couldn’t they, every once in a while, turn around and apologize and declare “I didn’t know,” or “I didn’t mean it”?

Forgiveness can mean a conscious letting go of hurt, pain and grudges. It feels better to wake up each day with a feeling of joy rather than of resentment. But often, letting go means moving to a higher ground, where your emotions move from bitterness to a deliberate and healthy plane.

I occasionally have a vision of myself, sitting on a cliff overlooking a river. In that river are the characters and events in that day. As the river flows by, I can see what is happening and choose when and where I will be present without losing myself to the raging water.

As we close the door on destructive situations, we can consciously declare, “I can’t let you hurt me again. I’m closing that door.” Forgiveness does not have to mean giving permission to repeat bad behavior, nor does it have to mean being angry. It can just mean that your need is to rid yourself of the destruction.

As my children were growing up, I would remind them that everyone does something in their lifetime that is wrong, and the next step was to decide, with me, on the best and most caring solution. That way, they could understand their role in healing a hurt and asking for forgiveness.

This is a time of year when Jews revisit their actions and their behavior and choose to begin a new year with healthy and caring intentions. May this year be the sweetest of years, filled with the best of intentions.

Susanne Katz is director of exhibitions for The William Breman Jewish Heritage Museum.

Crowne Plaza Atlanta Perimeter at Ravinia 4355 Ashford Dunwoody Road

By Steve Kleber While the Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur experience is about asking forgiveness, it is also about forgiving. It is the time for introspection during the Al Het prayer with our confessions, so that we can acknowledge our transgressions. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. It is for our own sake that we seek peace with the past and our reward is a lighter spirit and a freedom from the emotional burden that holds us in pain from anger and resentment. Yet I must “question” the seemingly important statement that sounds so right at first—as we ask for forgiveness, we should also be forgiving. What seems so obviously logical … are there some acts that are unforgivable? Such as those who actively participated in the horrors of the Holocaust? Or those who come into a school to shoot innocent children?

Steve Kleber is president and founder of Kleber & Associates, president of the National Remodeling Foundation and the immediate past president of the Center for Kitchen and Bath Education and Research.

www.atlantamitzvahconnection.com

42 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 43

ROSH HASHANAH

Rosh Hashanah 5780

By Rabbi Mark Hillel Kunis There’s just too much negativity in our world today. Political compromise is a thing of the past. People are angry. The vitriol in the media—especially social media—is beyond the pale. Even in our families too many us don’t talk to each other. When did we lose sight of the fact that it’s possible to disagree without being disagreeable?

I think this negativity begins with our selves. When I ask someone, “How are you?” the response I hear most frequently is: “Hanging in!” Do people understand what images the words “hanging in,” evoke? Is this the best we can do, describing ourselves as having a noose around our neck, or being a piece of meat hanging on a hook in the market?

My friends, be positive about yourself. Respond, Baruch Hashem—thank G-d. That says it all! It’ll make you feel better and will certainly help make the person who asked feel better.

Sarah was originally called Sarai. G-d promised her she would have a baby. But Sarai was 90 years old—way past her childbearing years. Sarai felt as though she had let her husband Abraham down. Her self-esteem was so low. G-d knew that it would never come to pass unless He could change her mindset. And so G-d changed her name from Sarai to Sarah, which means “princess.” Now every time someone said, “Good morning, Sarah,” they were saying, “Good morning, Princess.” “How are you, Sarah?” “How are you, Princess?” “Would you pass me the ketchup, Princess?”

She went from “I am a failure,” to “I am a princess.” From “I am unattractive” to “I am beautiful.” From “I’m inferior” to “I am amazing and wonderful; I am G-d’s masterpiece!”

My friends, each of us have had to face bad breaks and disappointments. Perhaps others have made you feel that you’re not good enough or attractive enough. But G-d

is saying to you what He said to Sarai, “I want you to change your name to Princess”— not literally, but in your attitude. You have to shake off the negative things people have said about you. Shake off the low self-esteem. With her newfound attitude, Sarah, at 90 years old—against all odds—gave birth to Isaac. With a positive approach, who knows what we might accomplish?

What about all the negativity in our world today? Americans are worried. Americans are anxious. We have switched from Prozac for depression to Xanax for anxiety.

Half of America was so anxious about the state of our country that they went and elected this President. And half of America became so anxious because the other half went and elected him President! Is our world really coming to an end?

I read the following story recently in an article (First Things) called, “Death of Despair”: A man in his thirties took his own life by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge.

After his death, his psychiatrist went with the medical examiner to the man’s apartment, where they found his diary. The last entry, written just hours before he died, said, “I’m going to walk to the bridge. If one person smiles at me on the way, I will not jump.”

Yes, one simple smile, one kind, positive word, can make all the difference in the world; can make life worth living … can make your home one filled with love!

Think positive! Make love, not war. Be nice! And don’t forget: the next time someone asks you, “How are you?” don’t say, “Hanging in.” Say, “Baruch Hashem, Thank G-d … Sh’hechyanu v’kimanu v’higiyanu lazman hazeh, “for giving us life, for sustaining us, and for enabling us to reach another year in our lives.” Amen!

Rabbi Mark Hillel Kunis is the spiritual leader of Congregation Shaarei Shamayim in Toco Hills.

‫שנה טובה‬ Wishing you a sweet, healthy new year.

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ROSH HASHANAH

Rosh Hashanah 2019

By Rabbi Micah Lapidus

At The Alfred & Adele Davis Academy we believe that making mistakes is not only a part of life but a prerequisite for real growth and learning. No one likes making mistakes.

It’s in our nature to want to get things right the first time, to please others, to do our best and to appear flawless whenever able.

That’s why it’s critical that children, from a very young age, learn that it’s okay to make mistakes.

When handled appropriately, mistakes of all kinds are really just invitations for trusted adults to help children develop some of life’s most important character traits, including accountability, resilience, humility and curiosity. While each of us is born with a certain measure of these important traits, it’s vital that we cultivate them as well.

The heart of education is the healthy cultivation of these and other virtues.

Usually when we think about mistakes, we think also about forgiveness. Obviously, there’s a correlation between making mistakes and seeking or granting forgiveness. However, not every mistake needs to be forgiven. Some mistakes are simply part of our journey of growth and development. Forgiveness enters the equation when our mistakes negatively impact people or causes that we care about. When we hurt a classmate, family member or friend. When we negatively impact our classroom, community or faith tradition. In these cases, forgiveness plays a role in transforming hurt into healing and beginning a process of restitution and restoring trust, faith and respect. Children need to be taught how to seek and grant forgiveness. This is a subtle and sacred responsibility that we carry as adults.

Davis Academy students know that life is a journey. Because of the many trusted adults in their lives, they know that they are never alone and always have parents, teachers and others looking out for them, showing them the way towards a life full of virtue and meaning. At a very young age, and throughout their years at The Davis Academy, children learn that making mistakes, as well as granting and seeking forgiveness, are part of the journey that leads to healthy and mature adulthood.

Rabbi Micah Lapidus is the Director of Jewish and Hebrew Studies at The Davis Academy.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 45

ROSH HASHANAH

Forgiveness

By Rabbi Ari Leubitz I’m sorry.

Those are not always easy words to utter, whether in person or in today’s digitally minded world, via text, Twitter, Facebook or email. When I think of forgiveness, I am led to how Judaism regards ‫ תשובה‬/ teshuvah / repentance. Teshuvah is comprised of three components: regret of misdeed, verbal expression of one’s sin(s) and the decision to change. The actual apology is only one of those pieces – and in my mind, only the beginning of the process.

Maimonides in his Laws of Repentance, Chapter 2, poses the question of what constitutes repentance. When the transgressor not only abandons his sin but removes it from his thoughts and resolves firmly to never do it again – that is truly ‫תשובה‬.

Along with being a father of three, I spend my days working with children of various ages. Between both children and adults, I hear the words “no offense, but…” on a regular basis. In my eyes, offering an apology and then continuing to do something that is knowingly hurtful to another is a veiled apology or rationalization. I offer that we try to think before we act and take into account who we are speaking to in order to avoid the need to apologize in advance.

As we enter the season of the Yamim Noraim (High Holidays), we are offered many opportunities to not only apologize, but also to consider how we will change as people, parents, partners, friends and community members. These chances to repent are at our fingertips – we simply need to take notice of them.

The 13 Attributes of Mercy have been known to bring salvation and forgiveness to the Jewish people throughout the generations. It is meaningful how these attributes form the essence of Selichot (prayers of Repentance) as we work our way to the crescendo of Yom Kippur. We are trying to garner the attributes of G-d - to be truthful, show compassion, be slow to anger - to ultimately strive to be more empathetic as we change our ways.

The 13 Attributes of Mercy (Middot Harachamim): 1. ‫י‬-‫ה‬-‫ו‬-‫ ה‬/ compassion before a person sins 2. ‫י‬-‫ה‬-‫ו‬-‫ ה‬/ compassion after a person has sinned 3. ‫א‬-‫ ל‬/ mighty in compassion, to give all creatures according to their need 4. ‫ םּוחַר‬/ merciful, that humankind may not be distressed 5. ‫ ןּוּנַחְו‬/ gracious if humankind is already in distress 6. ‫ םִיַּפַא ְךֶרֶא‬/ slow to anger 7. ‫בַרְו‬-‫ דֶסֶח‬/ plenteous in kindness 8. ‫ תֶמֱאֶו‬/ truth 9. ‫ םיִפָלֲאָל דֶסֶח רֵצֹנ‬/ keeping kindness unto thousands 10. ‫ ןֹוָע אֵׂשֹנ‬/ forgiving iniquity 11. ‫ עַׁשֶפָו‬/ transgression 12. ‫ הָאָּטַחְו‬/ sin 13. ‫ הֵּקַנְו‬/ pardoning As I enter the Yamim Noraim (High Holy Days), I realize that there will be plenty of time for deliberation. I plan to think carefully about who I have not apologized to.

It is also important to me to reflect on how I can improve and maximize my own potential to be more aligned with the 13 Attributes as a husband, father, educator, friend and Jew. My true joy will be to leave these holidays as a better version of myself than the person who entered the doors before Rosh Hashanah.

I wish you each a L’shanah tovah with time to reflect.

Rabbi Ari Leubitz is the head of school of the Atlanta Jewish Academy

46 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

ROSH HASHANAH

By Rabbi Brad Levenberg

Of all the themes of the Holy Day season – Jewish identity, tradition, faith and belief, to name just a few – perhaps, due to its sheer complexity, none lends itself more easily to the cinematic tradition than forgiveness. While we often learn at a young age the power of seeking forgiveness – we still regale our preschoolers with the lesson that they must say “I’m sorry” when the situation calls – that simplistic (and powerful) understanding of forgiveness often falls short as we approach our adult years.

Enter the wonderful world of cinema, which can present the complexities associated with seeking forgiveness (and often with an incredible score!). Consider the iconic scene in the film “Cinema Paradiso” when a boy, agonizing over his role in causing an accident that led to the maiming of his mentor, finally realizes that he needs to face his mistake and apologize to his mentor. The scene indelibly captures the journey of coming to terms with our own culpability after trying to avoid it at all costs. Or the scene in “Schindler’s List” when Oscar Schindler realizes the gravity of his actions. Though an extreme example, often when we realize the harm we have done, a step toward changing direction or “righting the wrong” is to seek forgiveness. In September, AJFF brought its groundbreaking educational initiative, “On Campus,” to Pace Academy and showed Oren Rudavsky’s documentary “Witness Theater.” In the film, Holocaust survivors share testimony of war-time atrocities with students so that their tragedy can be understood by a new

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generation. The documentary and the AJFF program that evening grappled with the difficult dilemma of how to put a human face, creating empathy and understanding for teens, on the tragedy of the Holocaust. One teen in the film shared that his time spent with the survivors taught him not to be so quick to judge other people, but to try to understand their life experiences. Recognizing the humanity in others is the emotional bedrock of forgiveness, as is the recognition that we, too, make mistakes.

Jews have long struggled with the concept of forgiveness, with rabbinic commentary and sacred text helping us to define the importance of forgiveness and the importance, when we are able, of granting forgiveness. We are proud that the Atlanta Jewish Film Festival and other cinematic outlets have contributed to our contemporary understanding of this wildly complex idea. May we find it more satisfying to approach our deeds from this past year with an eye toward humility, realizing the wrongs that we may have inflicted on others … and may we have the strength to own those mistakes and seek forgiveness. May those with whom we have struggled, those with whom we are holding memories of wrongs committed against us, have the wisdom and understanding to seek forgiveness from us this New Year … and may we have the courage and compassion to hear them out and respond with kindness.

Then will this truly be a blessed year for us all.

Rabbi Brad Levenberg is a rabbi at Temple Sinai and a board member of the Atlanta Jewish Film Festival.

By Mike Leven A while ago I asked a rabbi what is the Jewish concept of forgiveness? His answer was teshuvah. What is that? And he answered, “First you admit your wrong.

Second you apologize and third you promise not to do it again. Thus you are either forgiven for the wrongdoing or you gain forgiveness for yourself for your misdeed.”

I then asked the rabbi: Can someone like Adolf Eichmann gain forgiveness? His answer was “no.” The difference is the heinous nature of the misdeed.

So, if you want to be forgiven, know that you must make your mistakes measurable enough to gain or give forgiveness. If they are damaging enough, they cannot be forgiven. That means think before you act and judge yourself to avoid that action that cannot be undone.

Mike Leven is chairman and CEO of the Georgia Aquarium.

Finding Forgiveness

ROSH HASHANAH

By Sally Mundell Maya Angelou said, “Forgive yourself for every failure because you are trying to do the right thing.

God knows that and you know it.”

Well for me, that was easier said than done.

I’m proud of my ability to forgive and forget when it comes to others’ mistakes, but I’ve always found it much harder to do when I’m the one who messed up.

And like so many of the other life lessons I’ve been fortunate to learn, the ability to show myself compassion and grace came thanks to my daughters.

As a mom to my girls Ruby and Matilda (ages 11 and 9), I want nothing more than to see them happy, comfortable in their own skin and thriving. And in my efforts to help them be their best, I found myself continuously pointing out ways they could be better. I was flooding them with criticism and negativity because I thought that’s what a good parent demands. In a twisted sort of way, I was feeding my own ego by telling myself that they needed me to succeed.

One evening, after dedicated time of self-reflection pondering how best to help my children grow, I had a moment of clarity where I saw it was my own thoughts and words that were breaking my children’s spirit and growing their self-doubt, and that broke my heart.

It was in that moment of great awareness, but also great despair, deep in the trenches of self-loathing, that I realized I needed to forgive myself, but I would need God’s compassion to help me. Without forgiveness, I couldn’t move forward and become the parent I wanted to be. Awareness, forgiveness, and then comes growth.

I prayed for strength and to be a better person. I prayed to be the parent my girls deserved, one who tells them they can do anything and truly believes it, who cultivates their strengths, who applauds them when they demonstrate a virtue, and most of all, who gives them unconditional love. It was pretty painful to admit my mistakes and that I had unintentionally been hurting the people I love most. That burden was too heavy to carry alone, and I reached out to God for help. It is when I asked for help from something bigger than me, when I asked God to help me be a better parent for my girls, only then did I find forgiveness.

And because I’m a single, working mom with tween girls and only human, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to make mistakes, over and over. And each time, I do it with prayer and an open heart to God. I am comforted by knowing that if I’m good enough for God’s forgiveness, I’m surely good enough for my own.

Sally Mundell is founder of The Packaged Good, a Wexner Foundation scholar and member of Temple Emanu-El.

By Sheri Okun Forgiveness is elemental in being happy. Without forgiveness, what we have is resentment or bitterness or guilt, or all of these. Forgiveness is a verb, not just a word. But how do we forgive? I have found it most effective to speak it aloud. It doesn’t matter if we say it to the person, or just out to the universe. I forgive _____ for ______, and I release you.

No one owes you; only you owe yourself. Self-love starts with forgiving the self and others for their trespasses. In fact, changing the way we frame that, … maybe they weren’t trespasses at all. Maybe all the things that occur are to help you grow. So forgive yourself and others because we are all on a healing path in this life to become greater versions of ourselves and to be filled with the divine love of G-d. Forgiving opens spaces in the heart, the mind, the physical body and the soul for gratitude, for love, for happiness. All things that reflect G-d’s love for us. Clean out your temple and let your light shine.

Sheri Okun is an account manager at the AJT.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 49

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ROSH HASHANAH

By Rabbi Jordan M. Ottenstein We learn in the Mishnah that Rabbi Eliezer taught, “Do t’shuva (repent) one day before your death.” When his students asked him, how should a person know what that day is, he replied, “Then let a person repent today, lest he die tomorrow, and he will find all of his days in penitence.”

This teaching, that urges us to do the work of t’shuvah, the work of repentance, each day, rather than just at this time of the year as we welcome in the High Holy Days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, is an important reminder that our holy work to engage in the process of doing introspection, making amends, and looking towards the future is a constant necessity and not just an annual one. But, the flip side of the argument is true as well. If we are urged to make t’shuvah each day, then we should also be urged to be open to the path of forgiveness, consistently as well. And the two processes are really linked.

When we open our hearts to the possibility of making amends and making ourselves better people, we will then be open to the possibility of others making amends and become better individuals as well. It is through this process of opening our hearts, opening our minds to the possibility of renewal, and putting aside our differences that we can truly forgive one another, grow from our mistakes and differences, and bring more holiness into the world through a strengthened or healed relationship. May this be our task in the New Year: to open our hearts to one another, to be ready to forgive when the time is right, and truly engage in t’shuvah each and every day.

Shanah tovah u’metukah.

Rabbi Jordan M. Ottenstein, is the spiritual leader of Congregation Dor Tamid.

By Allison Padilla-Goodman Forgiveness is a challenging sentiment in the world of fighting hate. How can we expect one another to forgive anti-Semites, bullies, white supremacists and other haters without serious work being done to earn that forgiveness?

Gratitude, however, feels like an under-valued and over-present piece of our work, and it certainly feels like an important step toward forgiveness. In our work dealing with hate, there are so many important spaces for gratitude.

When anti-Semitic incidents happen in schools, I’m grateful for communities who respond swiftly to the incidents and use them as teachable moments. Look at the recent incident at The Rock at UTK where horrific anti-Semitic graffiti was painted on the rock in the center of campus. This incident would have been understandably more upsetting if the University had only asked for forgiveness instead of acting to address it. The school leadership denounced this hate and recognized the specific pain to the Jewish community, both immediately and accurately.

I’m grateful to schools and institutions who take incidents of hate and turn them into moments to bring people together. One of my favorite examples is the neo-Nazi rally in Newnan last year, where 37 neo-Nazis descended upon Newnan for their annual rally. Besides the fact the neo-Nazi attendance was scrappy at best, the way the Newnan community responded was beautiful. This ugly situation would have looked much different if they had only issued a public statement of apology. Instead, the community acted together and held several anti-hate and interfaith events. The families of the town decorated Newnan with sidewalk-chalked smiley faces, hearts and peace signs. So, when it was time for the scary neo-Nazis to stand at their microphones and spit vitriol and hatred, they did so amidst a backdrop of loving and peaceful artwork.

That weekend, I was incredibly grateful for those families who decorated their town and did not let the neo-Nazis define them.

I am grateful every day to the thousands of people who show up, for one another and for ADL. Almost one year ago, the U.S. witnessed the deadliest attack on the Jewish community in history with the Tree of Life synagogue shooting in Pittsburgh. And almost one year ago, all our lives changed forever as we understood the importance of community. My team and I received countless messages from the entire community

50 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

ROSH HASHANAH who just wanted to express concern and allyship. And as we witnessed the deadliest attack by a white supremacist in U.S. history with the recent shooting in El Paso, that allyship paved the way once again. We reached out to our friends and families in the Latinx community and showed up. I am grateful we are a city that shows up for one another and I am grateful that no one is alone.

In 5780, let us hope this gratitude can help us reach a place of forgiveness, as we work toward building a world without hate. Let us hope there’s less forgiveness needed and more space for gratitude.

Allison Padilla-Goodman is regional director of the ADL’s Southeast region, including Georgia, Alabama, South Carolina and Tennessee.

By Josh Pastner Rosh Hashanah is considered one of the most important holidays in the Jewish faith by many. On this day we are told to ask for forgiveness, which is a wonderful undertaking. But why wait? We make mistakes often throughout each day. The Webster dictionary defines forgiveness as “to cease to feel resentment.” All words have meaning. What is the deeper meaning of forgiveness?

Maybe we are impatient in a line at a store and mumble under our breath, “What’s wrong with this person or that person?” due to the fact we are in a hurry.

Right there is an opportunity to ask for forgiveness within for being impatient and erase that mistake – complaining about others.

Maybe we hold a door open for someone and they walk by without saying “thank you.” And, once again we say under our breath, “What’s wrong with them?” condemning another within for doing something we are supposed to do – being kind without the need of a reward or approval. Again, another opportunity to be forgiving of one’s own intolerance and erase the mistake of resenting another. Or we don’t like how another is driving and fume within ourselves, resenting that person and walking into the office holding on to that anger.

Or maybe our loving spouse expresses something and we take it personally as opposed to being understanding and possibly isolate, leading to resenting the one we love. And maybe a co-worker says something at the office we don’t like, and instead of being forgiving, carry that home with us and that resentment comes out sideways to our family by being irritable and short-tempered.

These examples might seem small and meaningless. Yet the smallest seed planted grows to be the largest sequoia tree on earth. A resentment that attaches to our thoughts without forgiveness can grow from such a small issue in life to something so large in our minds that it leads to anger and often rage – two enemies of the human mind that disturb our inner being. It is said, ultimately the person holding the resentment is the one who suffers most.

Thus, with the arrival of Rosh Hashanah, what a great time to take an inventory of all of our resentments. Take a deep inner look and ask for forgiveness for thinking in negative terms of others. God forgives; will we? There is an old spiritual saying, “We can only keep that which we give away.” To give forgiveness to others allows us to keep our inner peace and be forgiving of ourselves when making a mistake in our daily lives.

Josh Pastner is head men’s basketball coach at Georgia Tech.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 51

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ROSH HASHANAH

By Billy Planer Forgiveness and t’shuvah (repentance) from our fellow human being, ourselves and God are what the high holiday season is all about. The Mishnah teaches us that t’shuvah is complete when we are in the same situation in which we previously erred and choose to act better.

Our high holiday season culminates with finishing the annual reading of the Torah and immediately starting over. Perhaps we reread the same five books and are confronted by the same story each year so we can have different outcomes based on the learning we have done over the past year. We deepen our understanding of what we have reread by bringing what we have learned before and adding it to where we are today. In essence, history is just prelude.

One lesson from the Yom Kippur haftorah is that we are all connected. Our fast, our intention, MUST transcend the 24 hours and the walls of the sanctuary. The feeling of connectedness to our community, to God, to wanting to be and do better must translate to how we treat each other in the parking lot when we are driving out, and to people we encounter who do not look, pray, vote, think, love, or talk like us.

As we reread the section below from the Yom Kippur haftorah, may some modern additions in bold help us realize how it connects to us in 5780.

“Is such the fast I desire, A day for men to starve their bodies?

Is it bowing the head like a bulrush And lying in sackcloth and ashes?

Do you call that a fast, A day when the LORD is favorable?

No, this is the fast I desire: To unlock the fetters of wickedness (by standing up to people who try to divide us through fear and ignorance).

And untie the cords of the yoke (including access to a basic life that can be ob- tained when earning minimum wage).

To let the oppressed (and human sex-trafficked) go free and To break off every yoke (including having every citizen’s voice heard at the bal- lot box).

It is to share your bread with the hungry (by making sure everyone has access to affordable fresh and healthy food).

And to take the wretched poor into your home (including those coming from away looking for a better life in our country).

When you see the naked, to clothe him (and make sure he can have health care).

And not to ignore your own kin (including the people living in tents under our overpasses).

Then, when you call, the LORD will answer; When you cry, He will say: Here I am.”

We must feel connected to these contemporary issues because, just as the prophets ask, “Is this fast I desire?” we need to ask, “Is this the world we desire?”

May we leave this high holiday season partners in the revolution of connectedness so when we soon read Cain’s question, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” our answer will be “Yes”!

Billy Planer is the founder of Etgar 36, a Jewish program that engages teenagers on issues of the day through the lens of civil rights history.

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ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 53

ROSH HASHANAH Forgiveness

By Jody Pollack Forgiveness, what a heavy subject. As the high holidays approach, we begin to think about forgiveness and who is it that we may forgive? Who is it that we must forgive? Those who hurt or disparage us, our children, our spouses, our heritage, our country, our leaders, our faith or even ourselves?

Recognize that I am using the words “may” and “must.” The fact that we use the word “may,” when speaking about forgiveness, illuminates the fact that it is our choice. “Must” suggests that we have no other option. When we forgive the one who has wronged us, we are in fact giving them the opportunity to apologize and wipe their slate clean and have unilaterally determined that the act is in fact forgivable. Is that our right or our obligation?

Is there a transition time between “may” and “must”? Is there a time limit on forgiveness? Must we forgive while the pain is fresh? May we allow the passage of time to dull the pain caused by the act requiring forgiveness? Does the passage of time allow us the luxury of not ever forgiving, but just forgetting? Is that good enough? Does Yom Kippur become the deadline?

While we may forgive some, it is up to Him to determine who is ultimately forgiven. Is there anyone that He must forgive?

As I said, it is a heavy subject, so please forgive me for only raising questions and not providing answers.

L’shana Tova.

Jody Pollack is executive director of the Atlanta Kosher BBQ Festival.

54 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

ROSH HASHANAH

By Jared Powers

During the high holidays, particularly on Yom Kippur, we focus on forgiveness. We gather together in synagogue and recite in unison the Viddui, or confession, prayers that recall all the sins individuals in the community have committed.

Taking a moment at this time of year to focus on the sins we have committed and any wrongs we have done to our family and friends, and then asking for forgiveness, is certainly important. Through forgiveness we can all find renewed richness in our relationships and in our lives.

While forgiveness is a central component of the high holiday season, I try to live my everyday life focused on gratitude.

There is so much in my life I am grateful for: my loving and supportive wife, my thoughtful and kind sons, my health, and my caring and wonderful friends and extended family.

I am also grateful every day for my community, the Atlanta Jewish community that has nurtured me since I was a boy; the synagogue where I first learned our Jewish prayers; Camp Barney Medintz, where I learned to love nature, be independent, and understand and cherish my Jewish identity; my BBYO chapter through which I developed my leadership skills; and my time as an MJCCA Day Camps counselor, which taught me the value and reward of hard work and making a difference in other people’s lives.

I am grateful for the opportunity to lead the Marcus JCC of Atlanta, a place that impacts so many. On behalf of the MJCCA, I want to take this moment to express gratitude for our incredible staff who come to work seven days a week to bring our amazing programs, services and events to our community.

The MJCCA could not play such a vital role in the Atlanta community and impact generations of Jewish families without the support of our most generous donors and our selfless volunteers who give of their time and money so everyone in Atlanta can have a second home. I am so very grateful to our members, board, donors, sponsors, lay leaders, partners, and participants. Your continued support and commitment to the MJCCA will enable us to make an even greater impact in 5780.

I hope you are as grateful as I am that a world-class institution like the MJCCA is available to the Atlanta Jewish community. During the high holidays, when we take a moment to ask for forgiveness, if I have wronged you in any way or if the MJCCA has not met your expectations in any way, I ask for your forgiveness. We remain steadfast in our commitment to all those who depend on the MJCCA to be a welcoming, inclusive, and safe space to gather, learn, play, and find meaningful connections.

On behalf of the MJCCA, I wish you L’shana tova!

Jared Powers is CEO of the Marcus Jewish Community Center of Atlanta.

56 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

ROSH HASHANAH

S’lach-li — Forgive me

By Eric M. Robbins

To be a leader means seeking the truth and speaking the truth. It means letting go of old pieties and embracing new realities. To be a leader means dialing down the voices that say “no, we can’t” and building a consensus to move ahead fearlessly.

In the process of leading Atlanta to become a thriving and connected 21st century Jewish community, I am guilty of all of these behaviors. I know that in my enthusiasm to build a Jewish future that will undoubtedly look and feel very different from what we know, I have upset some people. And for that I seek forgiveness.

S’lach-li, forgive me, but Jewish America is in the midst of a massive generational shift in identity and practice. Pride in Jewish identity and Jewish spirituality is growing, but young Jews are increasingly likely to say that they have “no religion,” and that they feel little connection to the organized community.

I want everyone, across the entire lifespan, to be thrilled by Jewish life and to say that their identity gives meaning to life and shapes their actions.

So, I feel driven to create new pathways to engagement that launch Jewish journeys and spark Jewish possibilities. It feels urgent to me to broaden the ways we engage with Jews and their loved ones.

As this community tries out new ideas and innovations, I am aware that some people will experience a deep sense of loss. But we cannot let our collective anxiety paralyze or demoralize us.

Great things are happening in Jewish Atlanta.

Already we are becoming a community where agencies and individuals are collaborating and partnering to actualize bold ideas that benefit everyone. We are gathering in new ways and in new places. We are building a culture of innovation that invests in the creativity of change-makers and makes room to learn from failure. We are developing a relationship with Israel that is centered on its people, not its politics.

If I haven’t listened enough, if I haven’t been empathetic enough, forgive me. If I haven’t been fearless enough, I’ll admit, sometimes it’s easier to avoid delicate issues because of their divisiveness.

Yes, I have big dreams. Yes, I am impatient. But in my soul, I am a servant of this wonderful Jewish community that opened its arms to me more than 45 years ago. And everything I do comes from a place of love.

Eric Robbins is president and CEO of the Jewish Federation of Greater Atlanta.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 57

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Facing Imperfection

By Roni Robbins There are people I offended this year and in the past. The vast majority are forgiving. I bear the pain of the few who aren’t. There are those who have offended me, the memory of which, unfortunately, remains years later. I wish it wasn’t so. But those are very personal stories I don’t wish to share.

Harder than those incidents to forgive, whether hurtful words or actions, is pardoning myself. For eating badly, for making mistakes, for not having the courage to take a chance, for missed opportunities, for fear, for failing to filter my thoughts before they spilled from my lips. I certainly join others in this obviously unattainable quest for perfection.

How does one move on from one’s faults and face imperfection?

I love this weight-loss tip that just because you break one egg doesn’t mean you smash the entire dozen. You make the mistake and push through. Why? Cause there’s always another hour, another day, another chance to prove, to achieve, to conquer.

You have to keep the bigger picture in mind.

In my 20s, I discovered Weight Watchers and I lost like 40 pounds. Ok, I’ve gained some back in more recent years. When I get off track, I return to the basics, understanding the science and balance of healthy eating and exercise. Yes, it takes amazing self-control. My friends and family will tell you I have more than most.

Pride is also an amazing motivator, especially when it comes to forgiving oneself.

Yes, I’ve made mistakes, but I’ve also achieved some success.

People who know me now are amazed that I was once shy, inhibited and lacking confidence. That was before I discovered my passion: journalism. I knew I was a good writer – others told me so – but how to make a living with this talent? Book author? I didn’t have it in me then, in high school, when I was considering career paths. Journalism? Perfect. A job that pays me to write daily.

What I didn’t really bargain for were the press conferences. How could I be ag-

ROSH HASHANAH gressive when I wanted to hide in the back of the crowd and let others ask the questions? Not what a journalist is supposed to do, right? So I got aggressive, and I turned in the news story, over and over until I conquered that fear.

Sometimes I still feel the shy girl longing to be the big-time journalist. It’s the same mirror in which I see myself zipping out of a larger me. The fear of returning to what I was keeps me pushing forward.

Last example: I have to admit I had a bad attitude when I worked at the AJT in the 90s. I came to Atlanta from The Birmingham News because my fiance – now my husband of 25 years on Yom Kippur – was here. I gave up working for mid-size daily papers to do so. I carried that chip on my shoulder for four years, until I found a way back to writing for bigger publications again.

But I returned a year ago to the AJT in a much better role, with a larger perspective, bringing 30 years of journalism experience to bear, and I’m enjoying the new educational experience as an editor.

I guess the moral is: Whenever I feel down that I’m not doing enough – not remarkable enough, not thin enough, not reaching my full potential – I try to keep in mind that I’m also not done. There’s another opportunity awaiting. There’s another challenge to be met. I can do this. And if I want to forgive others, maybe I should start by forgiving myself first.

Roni Robbins is associate editor of the AJT.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 59

ROSH HASHANAH

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For those of us who care about Israel and about democracies around the world, this year has been exceptionally troubling. It is difficult not to feel the pain of frustration and even a pinch of despair as we enter a new year caught in the swirl of illiberal political trends tinged with racism and xenophobia.

I have felt, like many American Jews, that the principles of equality and democracy upon which Israel was founded are being disregarded and displaced.

Despite the enormous challenges we face, I believe that both we in America and democracy loving Israelis can and will break through the racism and the hate. I know that despite feeling angry and frustrated with some of our leaders and their friends, we must reach deep into ourselves to find generosity, forgiveness and hope. Here is one incredibly inspiring example.

Each May, the Israeli nonprofits Combatants for Peace and The Parents Circle – Families Forum put on a Memorial Day Event that has become a hallmark of IsraeliPalestinian conversation, reconciliation and even forgiveness. It is a night when Palestinians sing in Arabic about loss and Israelis read poems about victimhood and they eulogize together as parents, siblings and people in pain. In their grief, they are able to share hope.

Despite efforts to shut it down, this shared Israeli-Palestinian event has grown with each year. This year saw the largest ceremony ever, when 9,000 Israelis and dozens of Palestinians gathered in Tel Aviv. Those who did not attend, in both Gaza and the West Bank, watched on a live feed from their homes. Across the Atlantic Ocean, hundreds of American Jews in the United States also joined in by gathering in synagogues and community centers to be together, listen to the stories of bereaved parents, and stand with Israelis who are working to overcome the hatred and fear and turn to each other for forgiveness and reconciliation.

So, this new year, I am reminded that it is our responsibility to find the deepest places of forgiveness and hope and to approach those with whom we disagree with generosity. We must continue to support spaces where sharing in each other’s hopes, dreams, fears and grief is not just a concept, but is a practice. I think about what it takes for bereaved families to, from within their pain, turn toward one another. I think about what it takes for a former soldier or combatant to lay down his or her arms and take up the cause of peace and reconciliation. For this new year, I am committing to finding those places in myself so that I can continue to work supporting those Israelis and Palestinians who turn toward one another in forgiveness and hope.

We have begun to understand the frailty of our political institutions, but in this new year, with the challenges that it will inevitably bring, we know that standing together with our partners in Israel who are working for social change will light the way and usher us to a shared future for all.

Shai Robkin is the chair of Atlanta Regional Council of the New Israel Fund.

60 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

ROSH HASHANAH

Forgiving Myself

By Flora Rosefsky Especially during Yom Kippur, when I think of the many beloved relatives who have passed away, I reflect on the time when I last saw Dorothy Leff, Aunt Dotty, of blessed memory. My mother Julia’s unmarried older sister lived in Brooklyn, New York, in the same apartment with my maternal grandparents Celia and Samuel Leff. My family lived on Ocean Parkway and Avenue S, a few blocks from the McDonald Avenue Trolley – one way to get from our house to Aunt Dotty’s apartment.

Almost every Saturday, Aunt Dotty went out shopping with her cousins Betty and Sylvia Bernstein, also single, while I used her makeup in a top dresser drawer to put rouge and lipstick on Grandma Celia. When I was 7 years old, we moved to Rockville Centre, on Long Island, and I didn’t get to see Aunt Dotty as often, but whenever family events, dinners, parties took place, she was always present. Each year Aunt Dotty took me to a Broadway musical in the city. When I started raising my family in Binghamton, New York, Aunt Dotty mailed us homemade peanut butter cookies in round tins or gave hand-knitted hats, scarves and mittens to everyone.

After my grandparents died, Aunt Dotty moved to a senior citizen housing project in Brooklyn. I saw her less often during those years, other than her coming to Binghamton with my mother for the fall Jewish holidays or for Seders and staying the Passover week. Summers she came to visit us at the family home on Oquaga Lake.

A longtime breast cancer survivor, when she was no longer able to get out of bed, with an aide by her side, my husband and I came to visit. I remember going into her bedroom, where she greeted me with a smile. The aide asked my husband to pick up her morphine prescription at the pharmacy as it could not be ordered over the phone.

The pharmacist said that after taking the medicine, Dotty probably would go into a deep sleep and pass away.

I stayed by Aunt Dotty’s bedside holding her hand. She said, “Flora, you know I probably am going to die.” I replied “No, Aunt Dotty, you’re going to be ok.” The medicine arrived. The aide gave her the dosage. Bernie and I left to drive back home. Very soon after, Aunt Dotty passed away. I felt not only sad to have lost my Aunt, but realized I missed the opportunity to tell Aunt Dotty all the wonderful things she did for me – those trips to Broadway introducing me to musical theater, to complimenting me for anything I did, and whatever our four children did as well.

Aunt Dotty – forgive me for not telling you all of this when I held your hand the night before you died. I hope you always knew how much you were loved. I still love you, remembering you with everlasting memories.

Flora Rosefsky is a local artist and a contributor to the AJT.

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ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 61

ROSH HASHANAH

Forgiveness: The Ultimate Power Move

By Rabbi Laurence Rosenthal

L’SHANA TOVA

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Forgiveness is an important part of Judaism. All year round but especially during this High Holiday season we say that G-d is slow to anger and filled with compassion and loving-kindness. When we appear before Hakadosh Barachu, the holy One of blessing, on Yom Kippur, we do not simply hope for forgiveness but have a bold expectation that we will be forgiven. But the process of forgiveness doesn’t begin at nightfall of Yom Kippur. Instead we begin the journey of Tshuvah 40 days prior with the beginning of the month of Elul. During this time, we search our soul and seek out the people we might have wronged with the hopes that a contrite spirit and open heart will be enough for forgiveness to be found.

One of the reasons this process is so difficult is because it is totally countercultural. Our American society seems to find the request for forgiveness a sign of weakness. Unfortunately, this is compounded by the myth that there is something wrong, or even contagious about being weak and feeble. Therefore, it’s easy to see that a spiritual practice that requires a recognition of our mistakes and weaknesses is antithetical to our American self-image. How do we break past this? We can try to deny the inculcation of our western ego. Good luck! The other way is to find a deeper understanding of the Jewish perspective on forgiveness and see if it can pierce the hard armor in which we encircle our hearts.

For me, forgiveness is the ultimate power move. There is nothing more courageous or dignified than to search one’s soul and seek out reconciliation and clemency from somebody once wronged. Forgiveness is an incredible spiritual practice as it is modeled by G-d throughout our Bible and therefore, we are able to fulfill the commandment to walk in the ways of G-d. Forgiveness, whether received or granted, allows us to shift the course of history. We can plot a new trajectory and craft a future that has the potential of being different from our past. Forgiveness is a moment when we can see the soul and godliness of the other. The spiritual practice of forgiveness is hard work but it’s necessary for us to express our authentic Jewish souls. G-d’s strength and Godspeed to us all.

Laurence Rosenthal is the Senior Rabbi of Ahavath Achim Synagogue and the President of the Atlanta Rabbinical Association.

By Rabbi Neil Sandler

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“Forgiveness is not a matter of exonerating people who have hurt you. They may not deserve exoneration. Forgiveness means cleansing your soul of the bitterness of ‘what might have been,’ ‘what should have been,’ and ‘what didn’t have to happen.’ Someone has defined forgiveness as ‘giving up all hope of having had a better past.’ What’s past is past and there is little to be gained by dwelling on it. There are perhaps no sadder people than the men and women who have a grievance against the world because of something that happened years ago and have let that memory sour their view of life ever since.” ― Rabbi Harold S. Kushner, Overcoming Life’s Disappointments When we can forgive someone who genuinely asks for our forgiveness, we should obviously respond positively. We should recognize and respond to heartfelt contrition. To do otherwise is to inflict unjustifiable anguish on the one who wronged us.

Consequently, to forgive someone who asks us to forgive her is usually the right and healing thing to do. But Rabbi Kushner says so much more.

Sometimes the wrongdoing is so profound, so deeply hurtful, that a person cannot and maybe should not grant forgiveness to one who seeks it. So be it … in rare instances.

However, in considering the effect of granting forgiveness, Rabbi Kushner focuses primarily on the one who might grant forgiveness for the wrong done and pain caused him; not on the one who perpetrated the wrongdoing and would usually be considered the beneficiary of forgiveness.

ROSH HASHANAH Long ago, I learned that “life is too short…” Life is too short to harbor grudges.

Life is too short to swear, “I’ll never talk to her again.” Life is too short to obsess over how he wronged you whenever you bump into him. All these misplaced feelings and thoughts rob us of energy that would be better used toward more positive ends. They simply enervate us and may make it more difficult to recognize the good in people, especially in those who have wronged us.

Elsewhere Rabbi Kushner has described forgiveness as a gift we give ourselves.

Why should we allow someone who has wronged us to “dwell in our heads?” Why would we give them such power over us and our thoughts? Granting forgiveness, sometimes even a unilateral “quasi – forgiveness” in the absence of the wrongdoer approaching us, is a much wiser course and better for us.

After all, what is the benefit in “[harboring and nurturing] … hope of having had a better past?” By granting forgiveness we can use our precious lives in much wiser and pleasant ways.

My wife, Susan, joins me in wishing you and your loved ones a year of good health and wellbeing throughout 5780!

Neil Sandler is a rabbi at Ahavath Achim Synagogue in Buckhead.

Forgiveness in Learning Lessons

By Helen Scherrer-Diamond I feel very strongly about how “actions speak louder than words,” especially when it comes to forgiveness. As human beings, we can have forgiveness, show forgiveness, offer forgiveness, but it is very difficult to forget, especially when negative actions are repeated. Let’s always help educate the world about respect, tolerance, and understanding and share why we can show forgiveness, expect forgiveness, and ask for forgiveness, but we will “never forget” if a lesson cannot be learned.

Hate, intolerance, and abuse of human rights should never be tolerated, and it’s difficult to forgive the actions of those who abuse human rights. My wish is for human beings to acknowledge how we can use our brains to forgive an action, by truly learning our lesson, and not doing that same unkind act ever again!

Never again to 6 million human beings who were annihilated by other human beings during WWII. Never again to genocide against any human being ever, no matter what their religion is or what the color of their skin is, or how fat or skinny they are, no matter where they live in this world! Even though we are mammals, we do not have to act like animals. We are human beings and we can use our brains, control our anger, know and respect others’ rights, and try to understand and accept the differences. We need to teach and remember how we are all individuals and all in G-d’s hands.

We can forgive the “ignorance” of others but will never ever forget any intolerable act of disgrace, disrespect or bullying. We can forgive bad actions by not repeating them, especially those actions which we know are intolerable or just plain wrong.

Actions truly do speak louder than words. Speak up if you experience an unkind act yourself or see it being done to someone else. Forgive the unkind person who did the unkind act but be sure that the unkind act is never done again! Speak up when you see or hear physical or verbal abuse in schools, or at work, or in a public place, or in your place of worship or in your home. Report the abuse before the act is done again.

To forgive means apologizing and saying the word “sorry” and meaning it!

Then maybe the word forgiveness will have some true and long-lasting meaning. Tikkun olam is a concept that is an integral part of being Jewish. Loosely translated, it refers to our obligation to repair the world, to make the world a better place in which to live, work and play. We need to forgive, but not be ignorant nor complacent about the action. We need to be true to our words, learn our lessons and forgive by not doing it again.

Helen Scherrer-Diamond is Community Outreach Director for Dressler’s Jewish Funeral Care and current President of the Atlanta Lodge of B’nai B’rith International.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 63

ROSH HASHANAH

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Adults who are in the know, parents who have composure, folks who seem to have a handle on their relationship with their children and friends, have a certain strength that can be described in one word, “Q-TIP.” It has nothing to do with a white cotton swab, but we are repeating this word under our breath and in our minds, hundreds of times a week because it is a mnemonic device for our sanity, in a word: Q-TIP is a simple reminder to Quit Taking It Personally. Our CD-Rom would have us believe that other people’s actions are a statement about our self-worth. When we Q-TIP we free ourselves to shift our attention, calm down, and see the situation differently.

—Conscious Discipline These four words are magic in the relationship with children and, I would say, relationships with everyone. Rarely do I have time, enough information or the brain space to understand the motivation of people’s actions (nor do I need to), so the most helpful thing to do is to depersonalize: this is not about me. That person was rude, ignored my texts, talked back, didn’t invite me, etc., because they are going through something in their life. Not about me.

When you take things personally, it becomes about your ego and your hurt, but when you think about the other person and recognize that they have a complicated life and might be going through something, you feel empathy. Not everyone will act on their empathy to actually inquire or help, but surely empathy will stop any escalation in the fight or insult.

Example: When your child is rude, instead of thinking about how much you have done for this child and how unacceptable their tone of voice is, think about how tired, hungry or worried your child must be to talk to you this way. Give the benefit of the doubt; your response will be much different. Instead of “Don’t talk to me that way,” or, “Do I deserve to be spoken to this way?” (young and adult children alike – and we all know where this conversation ends), you could offer a hug, or say “is everything ok?”

This not taking it personally changes your interactions and deepens the relationship.

Think about how much more peaceful our world would be if everyone would Q-TIP. The Q-tip theory comes from the scientific brain research of Dr. Becky Bailey.

Torah takes these concepts even deeper.

The High Holy Days is the time that we ask G-d to grant us life, prosperity and happiness. To begin with a fresh start, we ask G-d to forgive us for our misdeeds and, as Jewish custom goes, we ask our friends for forgiveness for our interpersonal misdeeds. G-d cannot forgive something that was not directed toward Him so we need to make amends with the person we wronged.

When we are practicing Q-tip, we should have less to forgive and less to ask forgiveness for. People are more chill, less uptight. And so too will G-d be. G-d’s behavior toward us mirrors our interpersonal relationships. If we are more forgiving, so is He. When you acknowledge that everything is part of G-d’s master plan, you are also more forgiving. This does not absolve a person who wronged you from personal accountability or responsibility, but it separates the issues: The person who is emotional and taking their upset out on others has self-work to do, for sure. But that’s not your business.

So, when I am not taking things personally, I have ironically freed my mind to think about myself. What nugget of truth about my own self-growth can I extract from this unpleasant interaction?

I remove the person who is insulting me from the equation, and I wish them well.

Then I think about why I have been exposed to this negativity. What did I gain?

Consider yourself schooled in the Jewish way of faith and forgiveness and consider whether you are ready to practice it in your own life. This is my High Holiday message for my beloved Atlanta community. I hope we can all begin to Q-TIP And Forgive.

Dena Schusterman is the director of Chabad Intown Jewish Preschool

ROSH HASHANAH

Sorry/Not Sorry?

By Dr. Terry Segal

Why is it so hard for some people to say, “I’m sorry”? There are two camps, those who apologize easily, perhaps too often, and those who rarely, if ever, say they’re sorry. Which are you?

I’m in the first group. I have no problem admitting that I’m an imperfect being and am truly sorry if I say or do anything that hurts someone’s feelings. In fact, for the past several years I’ve worked on not over-apologizing. I used to believe that if a problem existed and I hadn’t caused it, that I should apologize if I hadn’t also provided a solution.

I have a dear friend who used to over-apologize too.

Neither of us realized it until her husband teased us, saying, “Hey, are you guys going to have your first conversation in which neither of you apologizes for anything?”

We simultaneously raised our eyebrows and were silent.

“What? Do we do that?” We asked in unison.

After a long discussion, we came to the conclusion that we love each other so much that we’d never want to hurt the other. By tip-toeing and overapologizing, though, we weren’t giving each other credit for inner strength, ability to communicate our feelings, and trust that we could disagree and still be loved. I remember an apology-filled conversation about changing our year-round gift-giving tradition to exclusively birthdays.

Shame often keeps people from being apologetic. History may have created a belief that if they don’t give up self to go along with another, then they’re selfish or bad.

During the Ten Days of Repentance, we concern ourselves with forgiveness of others, receiving it from them, and ultimately, from Hashem. But it isn’t enough to just ask for forgiveness, we must also take an action to change ourselves so that next year we aren’t asking for forgiveness for the very same thing.

This year, especially, I’m guilty of that with forgiveness of the self, which is the most challenging for me. I have compassion for others and understand that stress, mood, history, habits, illness, or pain can negatively influence behaviors. I’m grateful when someone acknowledges that they’ve spoken harshly to me, disregarded my time, or have been out of integrity with their word. It takes courage to share that.

While I’m quick to forgive others, I’m hard on myself. Every year I vow that I’ll say, “No,” more than I say, “Yes,” and yet it doesn’t seem to happen. I beg forgiveness from my inner child, for putting the wants, not always needs, of others first, and shoving my own aspirations aside. This requires me to scramble. I am sorry, so I ask G-d to forgive me for repeating mistakes around self-expectations and help me choose differently in the coming year.

Terry Segal is a licensed marriage and family therapist who writes a regular column for the AJT. ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 65

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Tova!

Shana

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ROSH HASHANAH

A Yom Kippur of Limited Forgiveness

By Chana Shapiro My family lived in southern Illinois where there were no Jewish places of worship; therefore, my father closed the store every Yom Tov, and we stayed with my St. Louis grandparents in order to attend the full spectrum of high holy day services with them at their synagogue.

The women sat in a balcony, high above the men, with a bird’s eye view of the entire lower level. It was tempting to focus on the males praying directly below us, but I, as a young girl, was equally fascinated by the females around me.

It was the 1950’s, and my mother, grandmother and I sat among several Holocaust survivors, many of whose husbands, fathers and sons had been slaughtered in the camps. These women weren’t concentrating on the men praying downstairs.

Some of them were deep into their own memories and nightmares. One young American sitting nearby kept a photo of her GI husband, who had been killed in the war, on the open page of her prayer book, and I saw her tears dropping onto his picture. Some of the older women passed smelling salts around, to keep from falling asleep or getting “woozy” from all-day fasting.

Even though I was young, I knew serious business was taking place. My parents had explained that it’s just as important to beg forgiveness from people as it is to pray to G-d to forgive us. I was pretty sure I hadn’t offended G-d, but I was concerned about other kinds of misconduct, especially the time I caused my little brother to be blamed for a permanent stain on our dining room carpet, which I had caused when playing with indelible ink.

I had committed other transgressions, too. How many times had I wormed out of helping my mother with the laundry or garden? Worst of all, I was a murderer, responsible for the death of two innocent goldfish I had promised to care for and then consistently overfed.

There was nothing I could do about the poor goldfish, but, fortunately, my mother and brother were available for rectification. When my mother left the sanctuary during the recitation of Yizkor, I followed her out.

“Mommy, I promise to help you from now on. I’m sorry I didn’t help you enough this year. Please forgive me!”

My mother was caught off-guard, and I managed to surprise her even more. “And remember the ink on the rug in the dining room?”

My mother nodded, “You spilled it, didn’t you? I think you better talk to your brother about that!”

“But do you forgive me?”

“Of course, and I expect more help from you at home, but more important, you better clean the slate with your brother.”

When the service was over, I grabbed my brother and begged him to forgive me for the ink incident. He said he’d never forgive me, and why should he? I offered to make it up to him somehow, but he said it was too late.

Refusing forgiveness was frightening to me, and I knew I had done something mean, completely selfish and irreparable. I couldn’t roll back the calendar, and I couldn’t now take responsibility and change my brother’s hurt.

Does this long-ago incident seem minor? Not to me. From it I learned that some things will not be forgiven, and maybe they shouldn’t be. Every Yom Kippur I pray that I will not say or do harmful things that are irreparable, and I pray even harder that G-d is much more forgiving than we humans.

Chana Shapiro is an educator, writer and illustrator who co-authored the book, “The Rabbi’s in Trouble,” which came out this spring.

66 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

ROSH HASHANAH

The Heads and Tails of Forgiveness

By Howard Slomka

Shana Tova!

When you hear the word “forgiveness,” what comes to mind? Specifically, is forgiveness something that you GRANT to others, or is it something that you SEEK for yourself?

The answer depends on context and on who is asking whom. But more, it depends on the subject of the query, and on the innermost thoughts and feelings of that listener at the moment in question. Whether forgiveness is something we seek or something we grant, it requires a much deeper look into our own psyche. But forgiveness is not complete unless we consider and engage in the act from both perspectives.

When two people face each other in a conversation centered on forgiveness, it is likely that they recognize immediately who is the Seeker and who is the Giver. This essay does not address the concept of saying “me too” to an act of teshuva, even though that concept alone is worthy of many pages. Instead, when Jews engage in teshuva this month, we should all seek to be both seekers and granters of forgiveness, and with varied partners. In this reciprocal paradigm, we can not only better understand the true meaning of forgiveness, but we can become catalysts in furthering the reach of forgiveness throughout our community.

If you have only sought forgiveness this year, then seek out and be gracious with opportunities to grant forgiveness as well. And if you have been generous with your offers to forgive, then find someone from whom you must seek a degree of forgiveness . . . and ask for it.

As Jews, our most central prayer is the Shema. “Hear oh Israel” we are commanded, and yet we are also commanded to speak those very words. Our mitzvah of the Shema is not complete until or unless we both HEAR and SPEAK. We must be passive and active participants; to do one without the other is to remain unfulfilled. So, too with the asking and granting of forgiveness.

Limmud provides another example of how an act is both complete and enhanced when experienced from seemingly competing perspectives. At our weekend of Jewish learning (every Labor Day in beautiful Ramah Darom) our teachers are also learners, and our learners are encouraged to teach. Only when one reaches that rewarding moment of simultaneous teaching and learning can she embrace the true essence of education. Seeking and granting forgiveness are just as connected as teaching and learning.

This Elul, pay it forward with forgiveness. In the aggregate, if each granter of forgiveness then becomes a seeker of forgiveness from another, we will construct a wonderful cycle of forgiveness. A chain reaction of teshuva, reaching back to Azazel.

Together, we can make 5780 not only a year of happiness, peace and prosperity, but one of forgiveness. Of learning and teaching; of hearing and speaking; of seeking and granting forgiveness.

L’Shana Tova U’Metuka.

Howie Slomka is a board member of Limmud Atlanta + Southeast.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 67

ROSH HASHANAH My Wish for 5780

By Gabby Leon Spatt With optimism, we look forward. We let go of the past and we focus on the upcoming year. We say, “L’Shana Tova,” meaning we wish you a good and sweet new year.

With reflection, we look to our past and we ask for forgiveness. We think about how we could have done something differently or how we’re going to change something for the next year. We say “Yom Tov,” meaning have a good holy day.

My wish for the Hebrew year 5780 is for members of the Atlanta and other Jewish communities to extend a hand and raise one another up. Too often shame and stigma create barriers that prevent us from responding to the mental health needs of the Jewish community. Not only do these barriers prevent people from discussing their needs and hopes, but they make it harder for organizations, such as synagogues and community groups, to identify who is suffering and understand how they can help guide congregants or constituents.

A community is a home. As an Atlanta transplant from South Florida, I now consider this incredible Jewish community my own and truly believe we are unique among other cities in how well we create a welcoming community for all individuals.

We are lucky to have Jewish organizations, agencies and synagogues that are working to create a kind-hearted and knowledgeable community when it comes to mental wellness and other topics. We’re all working to create a community that we can be proud of, one that impacts not just our fellow Jews, but the entire metro Atlanta community.

Many individuals suffer silently and alone. We, as a community, must embrace all individuals with compassion and empathy. While you may not personally connect with someone’s struggle, you can offer empathy and compassion, which can go far in a mental health crisis. You can offer your understanding and desire to help. After all,

68 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

as a Jewish people we value the idea of tikkun olam, repairing the world.

Sharing stories creates personal connections. Think about all the times when you’ve learned you have a connection with someone – the response is typically, “no way, me too!” As our community becomes more and more comfortable with talking about mental health and substance abuse, I ask you all to share stories with one another in hopes of learning from each other. Sharing stories can save lives and you’d be surprised to hear how many people will also respond, “no way, me too!” We are all more alike than we are different.

If you’re looking for a unique way to show your support for mental health and substance abuse awareness, consider wearing a Blue Dove kippah during the upcoming Jewish high holidays and throughout the year. Kippahs are $10 each, including shipping, and can be ordered online, www.thebluedovefoundation.org/kippah.

In Atlanta, there are several Jewish organizations focusing on mental illness and addiction. If you or someone you know is in need of help, please reach out to: The Berman Center, www.bermancenteratl.com/ HAMSA (Helping Atlantans Manage Substance Abuse) at Jewish Family & Career Services, www.hamsahelps.org/ Jeff’s Place, www.chabadintown.org/jeffsplace/ Derech Transitional Living, www.derechhomes.com/.

Gabby Leon Spatt is the executive director of The Blue Dove Foundation.

ROSH HASHANAH

Moving Forward

By Harley Tabak

By Rachel Stein

Over the summer, I had the privilege of visiting the Tree of Life in Pittsburgh with some of my colleagues at Jewish HomeLife, along with other Jewish senior care executives as part of a regional meeting of our professional organization. Seated in front of the sanctuary in the foyer (the sanctuary is still considered a crime scene and is closed), I had chills looking at the handmade memorials of the 11 Jews who were slaughtered Shabbat morning, Oct. 27, 2018. I am still haunted by the experience and continue to think about what lessons could be learned, especially during this High Holy Day season. How does a community forgive the wider community in which it lives after enduring such a nightmare?

I was impressed to learn more about the reaction of the non-Jewish community in Pittsburgh which continues to stand in solidarity with the Jewish community to this day. Upcoming High Holy Day services for the Tree of Life members, for example, will be held at a nearby church. The security expert at the Pittsburgh Federation advised that every Jewish agency in the country needs to have strong ties with its Jewish and non-Jewish neighbors to help ensure each other’s safety against extremists of every political persuasion.

I thought about the Front Porch initiative by the Jewish Federation of Greater Atlanta which began approximately two years ago to help bring together the different segments of the Jewish and non-Jewish populations. While this is still a work in progress, I have a greater appreciation of this effort after my visit to Pittsburgh. Each of us can contribute to building a safer community which promotes the wellbeing of everyone by reaching out to individuals and organizations we may not know but live or work nearby.

One small example of organizations working together within the Jewish community is AgeWell, a partnership between Jewish HomeLife, the Jewish Federation of Greater Atlanta, Jewish Family & Career Services and the Marcus Jewish Community Center. AgeWell brings together the collective programs and resources of our respective organizations to help older adults navigate the best services available to help them live as independently as possible in their homes. We began this initiative a few years and are now launching an updated website and data system to help track those who need us. A new manager for the program will also begin working the end of this month. Interestingly, Pittsburgh began the prototype of AgeWell more than ten years ago. We are using their experience to guide the collaboration we have created in Atlanta.

From the horror of the anti-Semitic attack in Pittsburgh, I learned about a city rededicated to building stronger relationships within and outside the Jewish community. Instead of looking inward, the Pittsburgh Jewish community has not only forgiven others who may have wronged them but embraced them. At this time of reflection and repentance, I am inspired by their example to help the Atlanta community do the same.

“HOW-COULD-YOU-DO-THAT?” I sputtered, spewing arrows of venom at my erstwhile friend.

For a sizzling moment, we locked eyes, and then she looked down, drawing circles on the floor with her foot.

“I’m s-sorry,” she stammered. “But- I didn’t realize I was hurting you. You see …”

Her justifications bounced violently against the stone wall of my heart, ricocheting right back towards her with ferocious speed.

“Don’t you dare excuse yourself!” I commanded, surprised by the volcanic fury that engulfed me. “You’re just making things worse. You did something terrible and you can never take it away!”

Her warm hazel eyes, eyes that I knew so well, filled with tears. She blinked and turned away.

“But,” I heard her whisper, “I thought we were friends.”

“Not anymore,” I hissed.

There is no way I will continue our relationship after what she did. How could she treat me like that? After so many years of trust, confidences, giving, sharing. Conversations that lasted for hours, soothing me like a warm blanket on a wintry night.

And then THIS, a hard, jolting crash into reality. I guess I never really knew her. Perhaps our whole relationship was a farce. She’s not the person I thought she was. Oh, well. I sighed. I never subscribed to the dictum “All good things must come to an end.”

But I suppose even sister-friendships are not inviolable. Perhaps nothing in this world is permanent? We give and give again, I sighed. And where does it get us? Are we reciprocated with love? Appreciation?

I shook my head. No. Only a stab in the heart.

Downcast, I turned away. As I walked, feeling her eyes boring into my back, I lifted my head high, attempting to bolster my downtrodden spirit. You’ll be okay.

You’ll manage without her. You’re strong. You’ve weathered storms before. But then my shoulders sagged with a weight too heavy to bear, and the tears began to fall, a waterfall gaining momentum. I’ll miss her, I admitted in some place deep inside. She really was a good friend. I don’t know if I’ll find anyone like her. What a loss.

I turned my eyes heavenward, gazing at an azure sky, astounding in its vastness.

“Thank you, G-d, for the gift of friendship that lasted all these years. It hurts right now, but I’m grateful that it was in my life for so long. I suppose I had it when I needed it most.”

I sighed and resolved to stay strong. I can continue my journey, even without her.

No one needs a friend who will stoop so low. And then I heard a whisper, and I turned around.

“Please,” she begged, her eyes streaming with pain and regret. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Can you forgive me?”

I froze, uncertain. Could I relegate her betrayal to a one-time mistake? Was it even possible, after this altercation, to start anew?

I took a step closer, then two, until I was face to face – with my reflection. I nodded and gave a small, hesitant smile. “Yes,” I whispered, gazing into the familiar eyes that were smiling in response. “I forgive you. Let’s move forward, together.”

Harley Tabak is president & CEO of Jewish HomeLife.

Rachel Stein is a contributor to the AJT.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 69

ROSH HASHANAH

The Dark Side of Forgiveness

By Rabbi Avrohom Tkatch

By Martine Tartour

The time period of the High Holidays, from Rosh Hashanah to Yom Kippur, is also called the 10 days of repentance, since during this time we are judged for the upcoming year. We spend time reflecting on how we performed the past year and repent for our shortcomings. The first two days of the 10 days of repentance are Rosh Hashanah. If you look through the entire Rosh Hashanah service, there is no mention of repentance. The service is about recognizing the kingship of Hashem our G-d. Why then is Rosh Hashanah part of the 10 days of repentance if it seems that our focus during that time is about accepting the kingship of Hashem, not repentance?

The answer can be understood with the following parable: There was once a king that had a very difficult son. His behavior in the palace was not befitting of anyone and certainly not befitting the prince. He was obnoxious and rude, constantly opposing the king and making the life of everyone in the palace miserable. After many warnings, the king did not have any choice so he sent his son away from the palace.

Without having a place to go, the prince took some pieces of metal that he found and put them together to make a small hut for himself in the woods. As the winter came in, you can only imagine the poor condition the prince was living in. The wind would blow through the little hut, snow and ice would seep in, and warmth was not achievable. Many of the king’s men tried to convince the king to let the prince come back home, but it was to no avail. The king had made up his mind. The king had one close advisor that felt so badly for the prince. He would visit him every week just to make sure he was still alive. As the condition of the hut was deteriorating, the advisor begged the king to allow the prince back. The king agreed to allow the prince one wish. The advisor quickly went to the prince and told him that his father the king would grant him one wish. After thinking for a moment, the prince pointed to his homemade window and said: “You see that window over there, there is a wind that blows through that window, please ask the king to get me a replacement window.” The advisor couldn’t believe what he just heard. “Why ask to fix your little window? Just ask to come back to the palace and all of your problems will be solved.”

This is true for us as well. On Rosh Hashanah we inaugurate Hashem as our King.

That is truly the first step of repentance. We “move back in” to the palace of the King and remember what it means to follow the King and act accordingly. May we all be blessed with the ability to go back into the palace of the King and have a year filled with blessing, success and sweet goodness.

The reason for her betrayal? It doesn’t matter. I grieved an adored friendship and that made me suffer enormously. She has been admitting her mistakes, trying many ways to repair it. Every Yom Kippur, she invites me to break the fast at her place.

I’ve refused for six years. This October 10, I decided to accept her invitation. Éric-Emmanuel Schmitt, the French writer and philosopher wrote: “Forgiveness is not a generous act; it is undoubtedly the most selfish of behaviors.” He is right! I want to be able to walk down her street without being afraid to meet her. I don’t want to feel jealous of her new friendships. I don’t want to watch her life unfold on Instagram anymore. I forgive to find my inner peace.

Mother and Son Forgiveness Can a mother be angry with her son or not answer the phone when he calls? The opposite is possible. We are supposed to not blame their bad mood when we see them only twice a year, or when they find the worst excuse to not come for Pesach. For a mother, the cord is never broken. The toad’s mother will always love her toad baby, even the mother of the guilty finds excuses for her murderous son. Well, knowing that, I got angry with my son when he needed me the most: on the eve of his wedding.

“Easy to understand,” my therapist explained to me, “This time it was ME who needed to be selfish to let him be the man of another woman.” Once I admitted it was normal, I went to apologize. Of course, he opened his arms to me.

The Healing of Forgiveness On the eve of Yom Kippur, we will be one month away from the events commemorating the 4th anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the Bataclan theatre in Paris . My friend Ahmid lost his sister in that attack. Djamila Houd was on the terrace of the theatre’s cafe celebrating her birthday when she was murdered. When I was recently working on an article about forgiveness for the Jewish Times, I asked Ahmid: “Can you ever forgive the terrorists?” He reminded me of that wonderful letter written by Antoine Leiris just three days after the Bataclan attacks in which he addressed to the terrorists: “You will not have my hatred.” (Helen, his wife and the mother of his 17-month-old child, was among the victims). “So no, I won’t give you the gift of hating you. And yet while you did everything for just that reason, responding to hatred with anger would be to give in to the ignorance that made you what you are.” Like Leiris, my friend Ahmid chose to not let himself be overwhelmed by hatred. And Ahmid admits that the right question to ask yourself is not, “Can we forgive?” but rather “Can we heal?” Forgiveness means just that: the healing of the wounds of the heart.

Rabbi Avrohom Tkatch is menahel of Yeshiva Ohr Yisrael of Atlanta.

Martine Tartour is a contributor for the AJT.

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70 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

By Rachel Wasserman

ROSH HASHANAH

This is the truth as I know it and have been taught: As a woman in 2019, I should have it all – a demanding career; a well-functioning family; a robust personal life full of volunteer opportunities, social gatherings, and religious involvement; regular exercise and healthy meal plans; an environmentally-conscious home; and a calendar filled with Instagram-worthy vacations and Pinterest-inspired parties. I should also get 8 hours of sleep per night.

Are these expectations possible? Perhaps. Are they reasonable? Absolutely not. Do they take a toll on my mental health and the mental health of nearly every woman I know? One hundred percent, yes.

As women, we are often our worst critics. We hold ourselves to unreasonable expectations and feel a deep sense of failure when we do not achieve our unachievable standards. In the coming weeks, Jewish Women’s Fund of Atlanta will be releasing the results of our community needs assessment on local Jewish women. This sentiment of feeling the need to have it all but not being able to meet those expectations was echoed again and again throughout the study. Women said they are in constant conflict, feeling like they cannot prioritize one area of their life without sacrificing somewhere else. Several mentioned guilt over “never being enough.” A high schooler stated that it wasn’t acceptable to be anything less than perfect.

It is easy to blame social media for our problems, but as a member of Gen X, I grew up in a pre-social media world, still being taught that I should be able to do it all without even breaking a sweat. A 2019 study by C. Collins showed that, “unlike women in other countries who blamed unrealistic cultural expectations and structural barriers for not being able to ‘do it all,’ American women blamed themselves.” We pass these expectations along from generation to generation, and until we reach a tipping point of women making a concerted effort to shift this outlook, we will continue to do so, setting ourselves up for failure and disappointment.

As we approach the high holidays, Jews are taught to do a “Cheshbon haNefesh,” an accounting of the soul. We think about the past year and how we treated others and ask forgiveness for our shortcomings or wrongdoings. We ask G-d to forgive our sins.

With all of this focus on asking for forgiveness, I would encourage us to also ask ourselves for forgiveness for not being able to do it all. It is easy to be hard on ourselves, to compare ourselves to others, or to feel like we are failing ourselves and those around us. If we can show ourselves some compassion, realize that we cannot do it all, but rather use the village around us to support ourselves and our families, we will be a lot closer to happiness. I would like to see women shift the definition of “having it all” to mean having less stress, increased mental health, and reasonable expectations for our careers, personal lives, and community involvement.

L’shana tova u’metuka. Wishing you a year of personal fulfillment and happiness.

Rachel Wasserman is the executive director of the Jewish Women’s Fund of Atlanta

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 71

ROSH HASHANAH

By Michele Weiner-Merbaum

L'Shana Tovah!

Rabbi Abi Nadoff Call: 844-MOHEL-ABI (844-664-3522) SimpleCircumcision.com

As we celebrate the High Holy Days 2019, the message of forgiveness resonates. G-d erases our sins that we have committed before G-d but does not erase the sins we have committed against our fellow man. It may seem easy to say, “I forgive you,” but are we really forgiving, or just going through the motions? Forgiving someone is not always easy. We tend to focus on the impact that someone’s actions had on us and cannot see that perhaps the person that wronged us is not so bad – that they had a bad day, or that they truly did not mean to hurt us. We have to focus on the good that all people possess if we really want to forgive someone. It is important to forgive for so many reasons. It allows us to forget the past and focus on the future. It reaffirms our faith in G-d because if we ask G-d to forgive our sins, then we should certainly be able to forgive others. We not only forgive for others, we do so for ourselves. When we are not saddled by the baggage of anger, we allow ourselves to “do good”.

As Hadassah Greater Atlanta’s President, I represent over 3,500 women in the Greater Atlanta area and some of the outer counties. Hadassah’s main focus is to raise funds for medical research, raising awareness of medical advances and treating people regardless of race, religion or gender. Although the research takes place at our Mt. Scopus and Ein Kerem hospitals in Israel, treatments and the knowledge gleaned from that research is used globally. Our cancer, neuromuscular disease and stem cell research is among the best in the world. In fact, our cancer cell slide library is the largest in the world. This list of accomplishments just scratches the surface. With all this, it is no wonder Hadassah was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize and has been referred to as “The bridge to peace.” We are Tikkum Olam in action.

Accomplishing these amazing contributions takes time, effort, focus, knowledge and money. If we are bogged down with anger and resentment and other negative feelings and carry that baggage from day to day and year to year, we are holding ourselves back and we cannot focus and concentrate on making this world a better place.

Do yourself a favor, let it go. Grant forgiveness to someone that deserves your forgiveness, and forgive yourself as well – you deserve that much from yourself. And with a clear mind and renewed sprit, you can move forward in life and make a positive impact for yourself and others here and around the world.

Michele Weiner-Merbaum is the President of Hadassah Greater Atlanta.

By Rabbi Ian Werbin If you’ve ever read “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” you will recognize this awesome passage where Stephen Covey confronts a man who says that he’s fallen out of love with his wife: “Love her,” he says.

“You don’t understand. The feeling of love just isn’t there.”

“Then love her. If the feeling isn’t there, that’s a good reason to love her.”

“But how do you love when you don’t love?”

“My friend, love is a verb. Love — the feeling — is a fruit of love, the verb.”

Stephen Covey is telling us to be proactive in love. The question still remains, how do you do it?

“Love is giving to another.” – Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler Rabbi Dessler asks in “Strive For Truth”: Does loving lead to giving, or does giving lead to loving? Do I love you so I give to you; or is it the more I give, the more I love?

The Jewish answer is: The more you give, the more you love.

This explains why parenting, from the birth of a child and continuing for 20-plus years, is largely about giving. This is also why a child can never love a parent as much as the parent loves the child.

Some have the custom on the High Holidays to wear white. The source for the custom of wearing white is from Jewish weddings. Women traditionally wear a white dress under the chuppah, while men wear the traditional white kittel. On a simple level, this symbolizes purity and holiness, however, it’s much deeper. Scientifically speaking, of all colors black is the color that absorbs all light, while white reflects all 72 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

ROSH HASHANAH

light. White symbolizes giving at the highest level. It takes in nothing and gives (reflects) everything. To start and sustain a marriage successfully, one should put giving as much more fundamental and important than taking, hence the tradition for the bride and groom to wear white. In John F. Kennedy’s historic words, “Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country.”

For those that have the tradition to wear white on the High Holidays and even those that don’t, remember that the real way to love is to start by giving. If you feel that you’ve fallen out of love with your beloved ones as Stephen Covey describes above, remember that forGIVEness is rooted in giving!

Rabbi Ian Werbin is the outreach coordinator and part of the rabbinic staff at Congregation Beth Jacob.

Rosh Hashanah 5780

By Dov Wilker Over the past few years, we have seen an increasingly divisive society, including in the Jewish community. Despite these discordant tones, we know there is a dominant principle that brings us together as Jewish Americans, E Pluribus Unum.

As we consider the Jewish aspect of this American motto, I am reminded of the biblical teaching of “B’zelem Elohim,” the very foundation of human equality, which I hope will permeate throughout the upcoming year of 5780.

In 5780, I plan to focus even more on inclusiveness and mutual respect within our Jewish community. It’s imperative we bring our Jewish community together. I look forward to creating opportunities for non-affiliated, reform, conservative, reconstructionist and orthodox members to learn about each other and the beautiful diversity among us.

A recent poll showed that 20 percent of Jews in American today are Jews of Color.

Let us use this time to ensure that diversity is not just about political or religious thought, but of our backgrounds and experiences as well.

“Two Jews, three opinions” is among the elements that makes being Jewish so great. We, as Jews, have always believed we need to encourage vibrant discussion on the most important issues of the day. The Talmud is filled with these types of stories, anecdotes and learnings.

I invite those who believe in these principles to join me throughout the year, for a program, a meal, a conversation, and to share what you know is the strength of our society today.

We must unite across our differences, celebrate our diversity, contribute to a shared society and resolve to advance the welfare of all.

As we think about forgiveness, let it focus on how we have allowed divisiveness to spread through our community and what we can do to counter it moving forward.

Dov Wilker is AJC Atlanta regional director

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A Year of Thoughtfulness and Forgiveness

By Mark Zimmerman

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Words can hurt, yet words also have the capacity to heal. For congregational rabbis, this time of year is focused primarily on the power of words as we assemble our thoughts and choose the appropriate themes to discuss during our holiday sermons.

There are always more worthy issues to address than time will permit, so rabbis perform “sermonic triage,” limiting ourselves to some topics at the expense of others just as deserving. The contending issues are weighty indeed. Immigration, refugees, gun violence, climate change, anti-Semitism, Israel’s standing in the world, and the erosion of public trust. The list goes on and on.

But what about the spiritual state of our Jewish community? Are we Jews growing more disconnected from God, Torah, and from one another? In our toxic political climate, have we wounded others with our words? Have we been forgiving to those who have wounded us?

If there is one thing I hope to focus on in the year ahead it is to bridge the gaps that are driving us further apart from one another. As we become more entrenched and inflexible in our points of view, we don’t usually discuss our differences as calmly and respectfully as we should. Instead we use social media, slogans or bumper stickers, which often undermine any opportunity for meaningful discussion. All these things do is to proclaim: “I’m right, you’re wrong.”

Judaism teaches a different way.

One of the great strengths of Judaism is that it developed as a religion based on compromise and valuing the opinions of others. As we developed different practices and traditions, we had to decide which ones were best to follow.

For example, when we hang a mezuzah, we traditionally hang it on an angle. Did you ever wonder why that is?

Well, there was an argument between two rabbis whether a mezuzah should be hung vertically or horizontally. There were cogent arguments for each approach. Ultimately the decision was made to hang mezuzot on a diagonal. In other words, a compromise was hammered out between two differing opinions. The inherent value of each was preserved. The clear lesson is that for there to be peace in a home (shalom bayit), there must be compromise and respect for the positions of others.

It’s not a far stretch to see a small community or even an entire nation as one big extended family. And a society or even a small village is strengthened when there is community-wide shalom bayit, where we practice forgiveness; where we raise each other up instead of tearing each other down.

Debate can be wonderful but only when it is coupled with respect. That’s how we learn. And we Jews are not usually shy about sharing our opinions! At the same time, we must be on guard not to divide and conquer ourselves. We need wisdom in our speech and compassion in our actions. We must never forget how important it is to remain am echad, one people, despite our differences; and to forgive others who may not always be as gracious.

We are all “others.” We have all gained different experiences and traveled along different paths while on life’s journey. My prayer is that in the year ahead we learn to value, care about, and forgive one another, while we work to uplift and strengthen our Jewish community. That way we can make 5780 a real Shanah Tovah — for all of us.

Rabbi Mark Zimmerman is the spiritual leader of Congregation Beth Shalom.

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ARTS Watching TV With Passion in New Book

By Bob Bahr Emily Nussbaum grew up Jewish in the well-to-do New York suburb of Scarsdale, the daughter of Bernard Nussbaum, who was White House counsel during the presidency of Bill Clinton. Today she is the TV critic for The New Yorker who won the Pulitzer Prize for her work in 2016. Her new book “I Like to Watch” is a collection of her writings over the last dozen years.

She came to her job as a critic in a round about way.

She was more interested after college in writing poetry and in political activism than in following the latest sitcom.

One of her first stops after graduation from college in Ohio was Atlanta, where she and a friend started an organization that attempted to bridge the cultural divide between gay and straight people in the city. To pay the bills, she worked as a temp in a commercial real estate firm and first got hooked on watching television with the passion that is such a strong feature of her critical work.

AJT: How did you and television meet while you were living here?

Nussbaum: I remember it very vividly. The first season of “The Real World: New York” was on, and since I was a little bit nostalgic for New York, I remember watching that in a state of hypnosis. I was living over near Little Five Points at the time. I just remember watching a “The Real World: New York” and really adoring it.

I had no plans to become a television critic. It seemed to me to be a somewhat cruel or parasitic role. I was com-

Pulitzer Prize winner Emily Nussbaum once worked as a real estate office temp in Atlanta.

pletely focused on doing political activism and to a certain extent, creative writing. But later on, and you know I talk about this in the book, I had this whole transformation moment in the late 90s when I was in New York, at that point watching “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” having this incredible desire to argue about it all the time. And at that point it was less that I wanted to be a critic than that I wanted to talk about TV. I was really engaged by TV as an art form.

AJT: You have one section in your book about the Amazon hit show, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.” One of your criticisms is of the “Disneyfication” of Midge

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TV criticism from the past dozen years makes up Nussbaum’s book.

Maisel’s family. You are obviously not a fan.

Nussbaum: I hate Mrs. Maisel. I really dislike that show. I don’t think it’s very good. It’s a very cartoon-like show about Jewishness in a lot of ways. I don’t actually think I would call it anti-Semitic, but it borders on that.

There are a lot of better shows that have more interesting Jewish characters.

I’m interested in the way sometimes that Jewish creators like Jenji Kohan, for instance, expresses certain values that seem to me to be Jewish values in a positive way. Jenji created “Orange is the New Black,” which I think is a very good and interesting show. There are great creators like Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer, who created “Broad City” on Comedy Central, that I find very powerful. And I feel represented by. It is one of those highly specific Jewish shows whose Jewishness speaks to me more than something like Mrs. Maisel.

AJT: Your writing is full of passion and emotion and in fact, you subtitled your book, “Arguing My Way Through the TV Revolution.” Why are you so worked up about the medium?

Nussbaum: Criticism is a form of theater, a kind of a performance. So for me, personally, what comes both naturally and what seems most appealing to me is something that is directly speaking to the reader. The main thing is that it has to hold your attention. You know it has to challenge you. It has to crack you up; it has to do a lot of different kinds of things.

The main thesis of the book is that television as a medium has a prestige anxiety. It’s a hangover from its origins and the way that people condescend to it. What’s happened is that TV for a long time was compared to other mediums, that they were fancier like books and like movies. And the argument of the book is that we need to talk about TV as TV, and we need to talk about the specific qualities of TV and criticize it as itself. It also means expanding the kinds of TV that we take seriously and not only talking about, for instance, anti-hero dramas, but also talking in meaningful ways about sitcoms, about soap operas and about reality shows, and in really broadening the scope of what we talk about in thoughtful ways. ■ “I Like to Watch: Arguing My Way Through the TV Revolution,” by Emily Nussbaum was published in June by Random House.

ARTS

Michael Coles at The Temple’s Selichot Service

By Bob Bahr

you put into a project or a process. None of that matters.

You’ve got to finish.

Because if you don’t get it done, even if it doesn’t work out the way you intended, you will not be prepared for what’s next. It’s the most important lesson I’ve learned in my life. From these experiences we were able to build the Great American Cookie Company into a $100 million business. It’s not all about how you get to a place of success but where are you going next.

Michael Coles has had a bumpy ride on his way to great wealth and great success as an entrepreneur and business leader. When he was a child, his family was forced out of their home after a bankruptcy.

When he started the Great American Cookie Company, a mishap almost ended the business before it began. Today, he is a prominent philanthropist who has served for the last six years as president of the Hillels of Georgia. The Coles College AJT: Jews are no strangers of Business at Kennesaw State to adversity. What do you think University is named after him. is the lesson we have to teach Last Saturday night he the world? spoke about success and adverColes: I have often said this, sity at The Temple’s Selichot that my ability to overcome adservice, which kicks off the high versity is not something that I holidays with prayers of forgivethink was somehow unique to ness. His talk was based on his me. I have said this publicly so book “Time to Get Tough: How I’m happy to say it again. There Cookies, Coffee and a Crash Led is an inner strength in me that to Success in Business and Life.” goes back 4,000 years, and I think Coles’ book was published last year by The Temple’s Senior Rabbi that the one thing that Jews, by the University of Georgia Press.

Peter Berg called the program, example, can teach people is the “a master class in the liturgy of the High Holy Days.” amount of internal and personal strength people have to The AJT spoke with Coles after the Selichot service.

Michael Coles speaks frequently about the lessons success has taught him.

overcome what life throws in front of them.

Faced with that kind of adversity, they just keep walking forward and try to make the world a better place. It’s had a lot to do with what I’ve been able to accomplish after my motorcycle accident AJT: What’s your goal for 5780?

Coles: I want to help young people even more next year. I met a mentor at the age of 13 that stepped in and made a huge difference in my life and I’ve got several people that I am mentoring. Every year I try to look back and ask myself if I’ve been OK. I want to make sure that I never get carried away with myself, which I have done in the past. That’s why I play golf. It’s a very humbling experience. ■

AJT: What lessons have you learned from all that you have had to overcome?

Coles: There are a lot of lessons throughout my book that come out of adversity. Two of those lessons I talked about at the Selichot service. One of them had to do with the first day of the Great American Cookie Company at our first location at Perimeter Mall.

We had to personally guarantee the $25,000 we borrowed to start the business, and we had taken a 10year lease that obligated us for another $250,000. The first day of business, when we were ready to take the first batch of 300 cookies out of the oven at the mall, we found that we had forgotten to buy a $3 pair of oven mitts. The cookies caught fire and we almost got thrown out of the mall. It was disaster. And to me, it’s one of the classic examples that the difference between success and failure is never what you plan for; it’s how you deal with the unexpected.

AJT: What was the second lesson?

Coles: About the same time we were starting the cookie business I was badly hurt in a motorcycle accident. I was told I would never walk again. So I had to contend with that while we built the business. Eventually I recovered enough to start riding a bicycle and eventually set several world records on a cross country ride in 1984. Toward the end of that bicycle ride in San Diego I was so tired I didn’t think I could finish.

What I learned in those final few hours is that even if things are not going the way you want, you still have to move. It doesn’t matter how many thousands of miles you ride. It doesn’t matter how many hours or weeks ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 77

DINING Artie and Nik Are Back with a Winner

By Marcia Caller Jaffe Veteran restaurateurs Nik Panagopoulos and sister Artie Antoniades are reprising a new concept, whipping up some good vittles in Sandy Springs. Some may remember their Fishmonger Seafood Grill on Roswell Road and then Tin Can Fish House, and Teela Taqueria.

Adjacent to Bogartz Food Artz in the Kroger City Walk center, Apron + Ladle recently opened a healthy “deli kitchen” accommodating breakfast and lunch seven days a week.

Born in Greece, the brother-sister team was reared in Zimbabwe, where they were surrounded by Jewish neighbors. Panagopoulous said, “Our Jewish customers have followed us all over, … especially South Africans.”

The clean, fresh and fun design is by Sims Patrick Studio. “We wanted to evoke an old Miami art deco ambiance: birdcage style in bold peacock and teal blue with lots of plants,” Panagopoulos said.

“The patio is huge and will be a great entertainment spot. Inside, we seat 75.” It’s easy to park. Just pull right up in front.

Specializing in seasonal products, the kitchen is headed by former Joli Kobi, Artisan Foods Bakery & Café in Roswell, and Eatzi’s Market & Bakery chef-baker Hoyt Williams.

The menu starts with from-scratch buttermilk biscuits (gluten-free optional) stuffed with a wide variety of breakfast items, from slow-cooked brisket with poached egg, portabella mushrooms, Gouda and tomato, French toast, avocado with fried green tomato, to more side choices such as deconstructed scrambled eggs and smoked salmon, bagels, schmears, and homemade preserves.

Suffice it to say there is something for everyone.

78 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

Two favorite dishes are smashed avocado toast with radish shavings and scrambled egg whites (top) and made-from-scratch tomato-based crunch vegetable soup (below).

What we went crazy over: Vegan tomato-based from scratch vegetable soup: huge chunky veggies and a mélange of green and red grape tomatoes.

Stellar combination: buffalo spiced cauliflower with celery and blue cheese crumbles.

capers, tomato, made festive with both purple and white potato slices. The dressing is a homemade mustard tarragon vinaigrette. The green beans were blanched just perfectly, which is the flagship of an Spicy buffalo appropriate French cauliflower appetizer dish. with shaved celery Surprise “fight” and blue cheese. over dessert: Chia Flash-fried, but we pudding in a jar felt the heat and with coconut milk, made the not-soberries, granola, healthy leap. honey drizzle, bananas – thinly sliced Smashed avovertically – which cado with shaved radwas imaginative ish, lemon juice on and enhanced the whole wheat toast banana. with poached egg Co-owners Nik Panagopoulos and sister There are 17 (we subbed scramArtie Antoniades chose an art deco sandwich choices bled egg whites.) peacock- hued interior for Apron + Ladle. from muffaletta and Salad Nicoise de rigueur tuna, hard- Tunisia tuna with capers, spicy harissa boiled egg, olives, butter lettuce, onion, sauce on French baguette, to the more

traditional grilled salmon wrap, brisket taco and nova. Some come in half sizes for $6. All can be on toasted on a panini press. There are fun options for the young ones for $5 such as banana quesadilla and grilled cheese with sunflower butter dip and apple slices.

Antoniades said, “We don’t yet have a liquor license, but soon hope to be serving mimosas and such. And Sunday brunch should be really a fun time.” Currently there are trained baristas with many beverage options: lattes, espresso, Italian illy Caffe, natural honey sodas, Mexican Coke, and Numi organic hot tea, to name a few.

In addition to the main dining room, there is a smaller room and counter to pick up takeout or catering orders, with friendly table arrangements, which would well suit a mahjong game group.

Apron + Ladle is indeed ambitious, talking on dozens of menu items and balancing both the trendy healthy flank and the traditional delicatessen gezuntah-style 12-ounce protein sandwiches. Think about whole wheat croissants.

The sibling owners should do well in the bustling Sandy Springs rebirth situated a block from the new City Springs complex. Most importantly, they know the art and business of food and are über passionate about their product and service. Besides that, the venue is as close as we can get to South Beach. Imagine the fun flow during the Atlanta Jewish Film Festival day performances. ■ Apron + Ladle hours are 7 a.m. to 2:30 pm. during the week and 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. on the weekend. The cafe is located at 227 Sandy Springs Plaza and can be reached by phone at 404-963-1080.

Photos by Dark Rush Photography // The 75-foot pool expanse is lined with bamboo and steel sculpture.

Chai Style Home

Lynn and Wink relax in red barrel chairs under the green roof.

Matisse Meets Home Depot

Lynn Reiter met Wink Weinberg in Take the tour …

1969 at Ohio State University and it was as if two primary colors first blended. Taking Marcia: Would you define yourselves talent to a new level, their dynamic, robust as “crafts people”? energy led to a treasure trove of her imaginLynn: I originally started by creating ing and him constructing. fiber art from spun wool and then paintNow in their playful compound in East ing on silk. I faux painted our kitchen with Cobb, Wink, an infectious disease physiseven layers using sponges and one large cian, and Lynn, an artist, put their cheerfeather, and then painted the dramatic ful stamp on well maintained gardens malachite powder room cabinets. In that Marcia and conversation pieces awash in vibrant room is a geode sink, and the artwork came enclaves of expanding living spaces. Lynn, Caller Jaffe from a door we removed and mounted with with decades as a textile designer, recalled, basalt volcanic rocks we found from a trip “‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’ wore the jacket I designed to Iceland. for his TV series.”

In the family room, my daughter and I carved the At the end of the day, the couple goes off script by wood table in an ocean theme and then hand painted simply building what they want. After all, you have to the images. know the rules, to imagine breaking them. When the You never know when creativity comes in handy. couple got interested in ballroom dancing, Wink built The huge mirror in our master bath cracked, and I an in-home dance and yoga room off the master bed- etched a branch motif to make it unique and camouroom. Lynn, on the other hand, is preparing for her 10th flage the crack local artisan show, Gifts Galore and More.

Wink: I think of myself as a self-taught “do it

yourself-er.” I wish I had taken more high school shoprelated classes. Instead, I read a book, “Adding On,” and from there I took off. I built Lynn’s vast showroom in 1997 from the bottom up, even poured the foundation.

She needed a separate entrance for shipping.

When I was in the Navy, I built this complex rolltop desk. Don’t think I would have the patience to do that now.

I also made the inlaid oak-walnut table, which took three months.

Marcia: You have a green thumb?

Lynn: I treat the garden like a painting. I like to have blooms all year round and we enjoy seeing the garden from the inside out. Wink is a birder, so I plant a lot of native plants, as well as perennials and shrubs.

I grow the cockscomb from seed. The garden is always changing.

In the front garden, I built a teardrop-shaped mosaic on cinderblocks. Look closely and see our children’s artwork incorporated into the tiles.

Kathy Walton, local garden sculptor, made our bird

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 79

CHAI STYLE The creative couple designed this hidden washer-dryer laundry room, including Lynn’s mosaic floor design.

On left, “Power hands” from a Roswell pottery show. The couple commissioned Annette Joseph to create the colorful painting over the couch.

bath from used bike parts.

Wink: I inherited the love for bonsai trees from my father. Some you see here are 25 years old. This is a Trident maple. Others I buy at auction. Then I have to keep them clipped; that is “the art” of bonsai.

Marcia: What works of others do you collect?

Lynn: We commissioned some specific originals: Annette Joseph did the large colorful painting in the living room.

Most sentimentally we had Regina Hunt (San Francisco) paint the vertical acrylic portrait of our daughter going down the spa entrance. It took her two years to complete.

The painting in the dining room is by Andrea Baetti.

“Circles” in the family room is by Rachel Faucett.

The spa sauna entrance features their daughter’s portrait by San Francisco artist Regina Hunt.

You can tell we like bold colors!

We both selected an original painting wedding gift by artist Nat Reich from Brooklyn, “Oil in Aqua.” It evokes a baroque European church and is oil on wood.

We have works by local artist Judie Jacobs who teaches art at Holy Innocents’ [Episcopal] School and an outdoor kinetic sculpture by local Israeli artist Avi Moyal.

The gigantic hands in the living room are a conversation piece from [a Roswell] pottery show.

Marcia: How do you use the outdoors?

Lynn: The 75-foot pool is very serene and lined with 12-foot natural bamboo plants and steel sculptures like “Dog” from the Atlanta Merchandise Mart. Others, like the bird I designed, were welded in North Carolina.

Lynn repaired this cracked master mirror with a glass etching in a branch motif.

The couple selected this wedding gift oil by Nat Reich, reminding them of a baroque European church.

80 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

CHAI STYLE Lynn built this teardrop-shaped mosaic, including some of their children’s early artwork.

Wink constructed the greenhouse and Lynn made the mosaic. The walkway has a bird sculpture designed by Lynn.

The green roof planted with Indian hawthorns is from our last addition in 2008. We collect the excess water from the irrigation system with chains that drain into two pitchers. We “chill” by sitting in our red barrel chairs or in the hammock.

In 1998, Wink constructed the greenhouse. My flower pots rotate inside and out as seasons change and I have instant container gardens.

Marcia: You have a history of creating commercially?

Lynn: Now I am concentrating on Etsy and Amazon. In the past, my designs were sold at Nordstrom, Rich’s, Neiman Marcus, Saks and Coldwater Creek.

I am most well-known for hand painted original designs on both silk and cotton under the Silkscapes label.

A Matisse-style framed painting is in my studio.

Marcia: Describe your upcoming sales event the first week in October.

Lynn: This will be the 10th year. There will be 18 artists dispersed throughout the house representing all kinds of mediums, including fiber, glass, jewelry, mosaics, sculptures and more, www.somersetgiftsgalore. com, silkscapes@mindspring.com.

Marcia: Last word: Wink: One of our favorite “couple projects” was the laundry room, of all places.

Lynn: Wink did not want the washer dryer to show, so they are totally camouflaged behind built-ins. A Frank Stella poster hangs above. I designed the mosaic floor to coordinate with the poster. ■

Lynn joyfully creates in her home workshop Judaica, belts and scarves.

Wink built this yoga and dance studio off the master bedroom.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 81

COMMUNITY 75 Never Looked Better A Celebration of AJC Atlanta

By Isabelle Mokotoff

members of AJC Atlanta, led by director During AJC’s 75Sherry Frank, visited year history in Atlanthe USSR to deliver ta, the organization medicine and other has made significant necessities to trapped strides in advocating refuseniks (Soviet for Israel, combating Jews refused permisanti-Semitism, and sion to emigrate) facdeveloping strong ties ing brutal treatment with government ofat the hands of their ficials, diplomats and government. other world leaders.

The pinnacle of AJC has become these efforts came latwell-renowned for er in the year, on what these achievements, came to be known as Large crowd gathers at Freedom Sunday Rally for Soviet Jewry in 1987.

Jewish and Catholic leaders meet to lay the but the organization Freedom Sunday. Cofoundation of Nostra Aetate in 1965. also transcends the simplistic implicaordinated by David tions of Jewish advocacy. The core prinHarris, now AJC’s CEO and the director the Catholic community was that Jews The spirit of “Nostra Aetate” is alive and ciples of Judaism compel its followers to of AJC’s Washington office at the time, were responsible for the death of Jesus well in Atlanta today, as evidenced by treat their neighbors with compassion the Freedom Sunday march is often conChrist, and anti-Semitic sentiments were Archbishop Wilton Gregory, who was and aid the less fortunate in times of sidered the linchpin in securing Soviet largely tolerated. But “Nostra Aetate” recently promoted to archbishop of need. attention toward the issue of oppressed condemned this notion and emphasized Washington, D.C. Archbishop Gregory is Taking this notion of tzedek tzedek the kinship between Catholics and Jews, committed to partnering with AJC and Jewry. tirdof (justice justice, you shall pursue) to On that fateful, frigid morning of citing their common heritage and their ensuring the continuation of a robust heart, AJC has been the modern-day modDec. 6, a sizeable delegation from AJC Atshared belief that all people were cre- and healthy relationship between Cathoel of these tenets time and time again. lanta joined more than a quarter-million ated in the image of G-d. Religious toler- lics and Jews. AJC Atlanta works closely So, in hopes of bestowing some well-dedemonstrators in D.C., Jewish and nonance became a main focus of the Catholic with the Roman Catholic Church by orserved justice upon THEIR selfless acts of Jewish alike, to capture the attention of Church and paved the way for interfaith chestrating meetings between religious justice, I have written a brief history of Mikhail Gorbachev (then, the general leaders of both communities and by hostrelations for years to come.

AJC’s most important milestones. secretary of the Soviet Union) on his first The implementation of “Nostra ing their annual “Nostra Aetate” celebravisit to the U.S. As the largest Jewish rally Aetate” was due in large part to AJC and tion, where over 200 Catholics and Jews Championing equality through reliin U.S. history, with participation from Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, the prag- convene to discuss issues facing both gious diversity: notable political figures like then Vice matic Jewish leader who worked closely communities and the world at large.

Over a half-century ago, AJC played President George H. W. Bush, the agewith Pope John XXIII. Rabbi Heschel’s an instrumental role in setting the precold cry of “Let My People Go” was heard unwavering determination ensured that AJC behind the Iron Curtain: edent for the modern Catholic-Jewish rethe Vatican’s policy was conducive to the In 1987, when Bon Jovi had the coun- loud and clear by Gorbachev. Soon after lationship. In 1965, the Catholic Church needs of the Jewish community. Since the try “Livin’ on a Prayer” and the Bangles the event, 2 million Jews were allowed to published the Second Vatican Council’s Second Vatican Council’s earliest days, were teaching us how to “Walk Like An emigrate from the Soviet Union. most historic document on interfaith reToday, decades after the dissolution AJC was involved with Catholic-Jewish Egyptian,” AJC was singing its own tune. lations, known today as “Nostra Aetate.” of the USSR, AJC has two offices in Cenmeetings, and they were ultimately the Since the 1960s, AJC had marched and Before the publication of “Nostra tral Europe, with the goal of advocating force that brought Rabbi Heschel into in- protested on behalf of Jews stuck beAetate,” the wide-held belief among on behalf of Jews who were once under terreligious discussions at the Vatican. hind the Iron Curtain. In early 1987, five

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COMMUNITY Soviet control. The threat of anti-Semitism is unfortunately alive and well in these regions, and AJC’s continued presence ensures the creation and support of policy that helps Jews in Czechia, Estonia, Hungary, Latvia, Lithuania, Poland and Slovakia.

Pioneering Black/Jewish Relations: AJC’s ties with the black community are deep and longstanding. In 1950, AJC hired a black psychologist, Kenneth Clark, to report upon the developmental detriments of teaching children in segregated schools. These findings later played a key role in the landmark case Brown v. Board of Education, which overturned the “separate but equal” ruling of 1896.

Not only did AJC Global help to create a legislative framework conducive to social change, AJC Atlanta also took direct action.

In 1960, members of AJC Atlanta met with the superintendent of Atlanta City Schools to ensure that transition into integration went smoothly for all parties involved. AJC then took a historic step in becoming the first Jewish group in Atlanta to make a concrete contribution toward integration by paying for three teachers to attend a human relations workshop in Boston, where the teachers learned how to create welcoming environments for diverse students.

The friendship between the Jewish and black communities is still thriving. In 1982, members of the Jewish and black communities in Atlanta convened to discuss the renewal of the Voting Rights Act. Their conversations and mutual interests ignited a spark between the two groups, and the Atlanta Black-Jewish Coalition was born. As put by AJC Atlanta’s Assistant Director Julie Katz, “Today, the Atlanta Black-Jewish Coalition has emerged as a central platform for education, outreach and advocacy.

As participation reaches new heights, the Coalition continues to build on its original mission by providing a forum for meaningful dialogue and action.”

The legacy of collaborative effort between the black and Jewish communities was reaffirmed on a national level at AJC’s 2019 Global Forum, when congressional representatives Brenda Lawrence (D-Mich.), Lee Zeldin (R-N.Y.), and Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (D-Fla.) announced the launch of a Congressional BlackJewish Caucus. Forty Atlanta participants of the Global Forum lobbied at Capitol Hill to request that other congressional representatives join the caucus to encourage the black and Jewish communities to join forces in their advocacy.

Although these accomplishments comprise only a small part of AJC Atlanta’s work, they hold great relevance today, as they laid the foundations for AJC’s intergroup relations. Although AJC will confront new forms of bigotry as time progresses, its commitment to justice will remain steadfast. As AJC continues to advocate on behalf of Jewry and all minority communities to make the world a safer and better place, we look forward to a greater future for all. ■

Black and Jewish leaders meet during the Civil Rights movement.

Alluring

cosmetic & Family Dentistry

Shana Tova!

COSMETIC, IMPLANT & GENERAL DENTISTRY FOR THE FAMILY.

An international leader in cosmetic, implant and general dentistry for more than three decades, Dr. David Mastro’s patients travel world-wide for his Atlanta cosmetic dentistry and report that he is one of the country’s top cosmetic and general dentists.

NOT YOUR ORDINARY DENTIST, NOT YOUR ORDINARY DENTAL OFFICE.

Dr. Mastro is a unique dentist with his artistic expression developed through years of hand crafting crowns, veneers and bridges. Today, with the aid of the most advanced technology available, Dr. Mastro can care for patients’ complete dental needs from oral surgery and implants to fillings and general cleanings. Dr. Mastro is legendary for quality dentistry and for transforming smiles for people from all walks of life.

Isabelle Mokotoff is a journalism intern at the AJC. ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 83

COMMUNITY

Female Rabbi-To-Be Emerges From Orthodox Roots

By Roni Robbins Watching her parents prepare for her brother’s Shabbat bar mitzvah, Amalia Mark recalls her first awakening that she wasn’t able to be her “authentic Jewish” self. Her family invested in her brother’s coming-ofage ceremony much more than her bat mitzvah a week later. They were a year apart in age. Her’s was a simple ceremony at her home Shabbat afternoon in which she taught a class for women.

If that scene had not unfolded, she said she might not have felt the uncomfortable, out-of-place sensation that led her to abandon her Orthodox roots and eventually find a way to a rabbinical school that welcomes women.

Mark, who likes to be called “Rav Amalia” as she tests the rabbinic title, is Congregation Etz Chaim’s first female clergy member – if only temporary – as rabbinic intern. During the high holidays, she will lead the youth service and give the sermon on the second day of Rosh Hashanah, among other duties.

At 29, Mark is in the fourth year of a five-year program at the pluralistic Rabbinical School of Hebrew College in Boston.

What she’s learning there is a far cry from the Judaism of her youth. Growing up in an Orthodox home outside of Washington, D.C., Jewish life “was in the air we breathed,” she said between classes.

“During middle school and high school, I became frustrated I could not have an active role” in Jewish life and had to stick to the expected path for Orthodox

84 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

Mark is studying to be a rabbi at the Rabbinical School of Hebrew College in Boston, which is pluralistic.

Photo by Bernice Isaac // Amalia Mark takes the stage

women. “I didn’t wake up one day and decide I’m not Orthodox. There were small choices,” that “led me further away from the Judaism I grew up with. … I’m thankful for that grounding and thankful I had a choice. I feel there was a hole and I’m nourishing it. That’s the task of every Jewish person.”

In college she began to read from the Torah while studying to be an actress as a theater major with a con-

centration in gender and women’s studies at the University of Maryland, Baltimore. She said she uses those skills as a rabbi-in-training.

Her parents don’t recognize her as a rabbi. “It’s painful for them. Their mentality is they taught me the right way to be, to serve G-d. So why do it any other way?

I believe there’s not one way to be Jewish,” she said.

“We fundamentally disagree. There’s a lot of pain.

Bringing my full self to the relationship is challenging.”

She conceded, “I’m not angry about that. I needed to find my own way.”

Before coming to Atlanta, Mark was director of Jewish student life at the University of Arizona Hillel and was a fellow at the New England branch of the New Israel Fund. Concurrently with the Etz Chaim position, she is also a rabbinic intern at the Mayyim Hayyim, a nondenominational community mikveh in Boston.

Working in the South offered a new dimension to her Judaism, she said.

She described the South as “the most warm and welcoming place I’ve ever been in. They take the value of Southern hospitality and fuse it with the Jewish value of welcoming guests.”

Rabbi Daniel Dorsch said of Mark, “What struck us immediately about Rav Amalia when we first met was her warmth, creativity, and generosity of spirit. … We look forward to learning Torah with her over the course of the year.”

Mark believes part of her task as a rabbi will be to help others find a path to feeling “authentically and powerfully Jewish.”

She specifically wants to reach those on the fringe.

“I feel strongly about people not really heard in Jewish life like women, Jews of color, LGBTQ, different disabilities, having a voice in 21st century Jewish life.” That’s why she appreciates Etz Chaim’s recently renovated sanctuary, which meets the needs of those with disabilities.

As far as returning to Etz Chaim full-time after rabbinical school, she said she’s not making any definitive plans. “Etz Chaim is a really wonderful shul and it’s growing. Ask me again in a year.” ■

at Shabbat in the Park to help lead prayers.

Rabbi Ruach

I Bet You Didn’t Know …

Rabbi Peter Berg

Atlanta is chock full of interesting movers and shakers - some bent on creativity, public persona, activism and/or serving a congregation. Lean in to hear some off-the-cuff remarks about what makes Rabbi Peter Berg, of The Temple, tick.

In 2008, Peter Berg became the fifth senior rabbi of The Temple since 1895. He is passionate about Jewish learning and meaningful worship, and is an advocate for social change. Rabbi Berg serves on the boards of Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, the ADL and Georgia Early Education Alliance for Ready Students, among many others.

In 2013, Rabbi Berg was named by Newsweek and The Daily Beast as one of the 50 most influential rabbis in the U.S. In 2016, he was named by Georgia Trend as one of the 100 Most Influential Georgians and in 2019 as one of Atlanta’s Most Powerful Leaders. Rabbi Berg lives in Atlanta with his wife Karen, a teacher and tutor, and their three children.

See why his kids think he’s goofy and whose emails he gets by mistake.

Jaffe: My kids say I am too…

Berg: Goofy. They think it’s funny that I can be serious all day long and then come home and goof around. Sometimes they say, “If only everyone could see how the rabbi acts at home.”

Jaffe: How do you spend your days off?

Berg: In synagogue life, a full day off is rare, so I always treasure this time. I have a few simple priorities: spending time with family, taking a nap, drinking coffee, and trying new experiences.

Jaffe: Biggest regret?

Berg: I went straight to rabbinical school at Hebrew Union College from undergraduate work at George Washington University. I wish I had taken a gap year between the two. It would have been the perfect time to try something in my life that I would never get to do otherwise.

Jaffe: What are you reading?

Berg: “Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America” by Ibram X. Kendi.

This important and difficult read highlights the racist thought that is alive and well in America.

Jaffe: If they made a movie about you, who should star?

Berg: That’s an easy one. Actor/director Peter Berg (“Friday Night Lights,” “Chicago Hope”). I sometimes get his email and Facebook requests anyway.

Jaffe: Atlanta inspires me to …

Berg: … roll up my sleeves and work in partnerships and coalitions. The rabbis here all work well together and enjoy each other’s company with a non-competitive spirit. There is a tremendous spirit of interfaith bridge building, which I have never experienced before. No matter how ambitious our goals, when we work together, we can achieve anything.

Reported by Marcia Caller Jaffe

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 85

COMMUNITY

Tex-Mex Vibe With Live Bands That Make You Jive Are you middle aged, livthat everyone likes in an ening in the burbs, asking yourtertaining atmosphere with self and your friends: Where music and an exciting vibe. can I go to enjoy live music, The menu boasts an great food and drinks, among American Tex-Mex flair with your peers, at a reasonable a twist! A couple of examhour for oldies but goodples are: ies like us? Well, we found Chicken Spinach and the perfect spot in Johns Goat Cheese Quesadilla: Creek, on the Alpharetta line.

Grilled chicken breast, spinBrooklyn Cantina dishes up Jen Evans & ach, goat cheese, sautéed great tribute bands of assort- Michal Bonell peppers and onions with On the Town ed genres from classic rock black bean corn salsa. to R&B to dance nights. Best Twice Baked Avocado: of all, music normally begins around 8:30 Avocados mixed with Spanish olives, p.m., unless you hapsun-dried tomatoes, pen to come on a speoregano, baked in cial event weekend, the oven and topped where you can find with cheese music from 4 p.m. ‘til Buffalo Chickclosing time! en Tacos: Fried Brooklyn Cantichicken tossed in na was opened with Sriracha sauce, pico fun in mind, says de gallo, bleu cheese Director of Operacrumbles and pobtions Mark Ferrara. lano ranch sauce.

Jen Evans, Michal Bonell and Mark He wanted to have Of course, you Ferrara taste an assortment of a place where locals can find your typical burritos, tacos and quesadillas. can come and enjoy Tex-Mex favorites of a great casual, everyday-type-of-meal assorted tacos, enchiladas, salads, sand-

86 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

Michal Bonell, Brooklyn Cantina Director of Operations Mark Ferrara and Jen Evans bar side.

wiches and more. As you eat, you also get to enjoy the whimsical Day of the Dead décor, various murals of the Brooklyn Bridge with strings of star lights and an array of masks on the walls and ceiling.

We went to experience BROOKLYNPALOOZA, Brooklyn Cantina’s five-year anniversary inside-outside bash Sept. 14 featuring assorted bands from 4 p.m. to 12 a.m. Music included 70s, 80s, 90s jukebox covers from the band Spectrum, the Tom Petty-John Cougar Mellencamp tribute band, a Dave Matthews tribute band, and a hair band for the grand finale.

We arrived as Tom Cougar Pettycamp, the cover band from Virginia, was setting up. Ferrara was sporting a cowboy hat and a sleeveless shirt, exposing his tattoos behind the bar. He was fully engaged with his guests, who seem to have become his close friends, as they greet him with hugs and kisses. He was looking forward to our visit and had our menu picked out. Drinks to start, we opted for two refreshing mojitos. We were presented with a very large, beautiful bowl full of their freshly made Tableside Gaucamole and signature house salsa ac-

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linist and horns. companied by warm, crispy chips.

Guests filled the parking lot to listen to The guacamole was spectacular, fresh and perfectly flavored, one of the the bands. There was ample seating, from tables and chairs to creamiest guacamolounge chairs, and les in Atlanta. Our plenty of room in assorted platter of front of the stage goodies was delivto dance the night ered by the chef, away. They even had Jesus. The platter an outdoor beer and included the: shots bar for their Veggie Burrito: guests outside. It Sautéed spinach, was a lovely night mushrooms, cilanfor an outdoor partro rice, onions, ty. Once the clock black beans, jack struck 10 p.m., the and cheddar cheese, party moved into shredded lettuce the restaurant to enand sautéed peppers joy, sing along, and Chicken Tacos: Brooklyn Cantina has whimsical even bang heads to Fried chicken, letDay of the Dead décor.

Shyanne 80s classic tuce, pico de gallo, cilantro, pickles, onions and cotija cheese rock band from Woodstock, Ga. Brooklyn Cantina serves American Short Rib Manchego Quesadilla: Braised short rib, Manchego cheese and Tex-Mex favorites in a fun, energetic, casautéed peppers and onions with black sual atmosphere. They serve lunch and dinner specials, sandwiches, seafood and bean corn salsa.

Everything was unique and delicious. have an extensive full bar. They are a As the restaurant crowded with lo- great spot if you are looking for a fun and cals, we made our way to the outdoor welcoming place to enjoy OTP. Follow the weekly events on Facestage where the Tom Cougar Pettycamp band was really starting to rock out. The book at https://www.facebook.com/Thesame band backed up two different sing- OriginalBrooklynCantina/. ■ ers, one for the Tom Petty songs and one To have us review your event or resfor the John Cougar Mellencamp songs.

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Shana Tova!

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 87

COMMUNITY SIMCHA SPOTLIGHT

Anniversary Announcement McKenzie Wren, president of Congregation Bet Haverim, and Reuben Haller will celebrate their 20th anniversary Oct. 3.

Wren is a consultant with Culture on Purpose. Haller is a professional clown, musician and storyteller. They have two sons Elijah, 19, and Devon, 16.

B’nai Mitzvah Notices

Noah Hayden Goldberg, son of Elaine and Bob Goldberg, on Sept. 21.

Olivia Jada Granot, daughter of Dan and Wendy Granot, on Sept. 21.

Aiden Misnuner, son of Sharon and Brian Misnuner, on Sept. 21.

Have something to celebrate?

Births, B’nai Mitzvah, Engagements, Weddings, Anniversaries, Special Birthdays and more ...

Share it with your community with free AJT simcha announcements.

Send info to submissions@atljewishtimes.com.

88 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

L’shana Tova

Perfection is in the Details

Sara Parker

www.magnoliacelebrates.com

Laura Maddox

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 89

KEEPING IT KOSHER Honey-Soaked Apple Butter Rugelach with Date-Raisin Filling Cooking and Prep: 2 hours Serves: 16 Preference: Pareve Difficulty: Medium Occasion: Rosh Hashanah Diet: Vegetarian, pescatarian Yields: 32 rugelach When one thinks Rosh Hashanah pastry, the first thought that comes to mind is rugelach. If you grew up inheriting the “dreaded honey cake” syndrome, you would understand the immediate taste bud-preserving word association. Instead, to redefine “Rosh Hashanah honey dessert” … introducing the indulgent joys that are these honey liquor soaked, apple butter-shmeared date and golden raisin stuffed rugelach. One bite of these and you will be making these little gems year-round.

Dough 2 ½ cups flour (plus more for sprinkling) 1 ½ tablespoon sugar ¼ teaspoon salt 2 sticks chilled margarine or 16 tablespoons Crisco (or cold coconut oil) 8 ounces Tofutti or other non-dairy cream cheese, chilled 2 tablespoons Tofutti or other non-dairy sour cream, chilled Filling ½ cup sugar 2tablespoons cinnamon 2cups apple butter (depending on brand, might be 2 small jars’ worth) 2cups Medjool dates, pitted 1 ½ cup golden raisins

Glaze ½ cup Gefen pure maple syrup ½ cup Gefen Honey or other golden honey ¼ cup orange liqueur (I use Cotrone)

Garnish (optional) Sugar in the raw Bee pollen

Prepare the Dough In a food processor, pulse together flour, sugar and salt for a few seconds until mixed. Add margarine, cream cheese and sour cream to the flour and process until the dough comes together (about 30 seconds). Turn the mixture over onto a slightly floured counter. The dough might be slightly sticky, so knead the flour that is on the counter into the dough, adding small tablespoons as needed.

Press and roll the dough into a 6-inch long log. Cut into 4 equal parts.

Press each piece of dough down into a small dessert-plate-size disk. Place each disk between 2 sheets of plastic wrap (make sure the plastic wrap is larger than the disk) and using a rolling pin, roll each one out into an 8-inch circle. Stack dough circles onto a plate and freeze for 20 to 30 minutes.

Note: At this point, you can freeze these dough circles for up to a month until you are ready to fill and bake fresh.

Prepare the Filling Mix sugar and cinnamon in a small bowl and set aside.

Using your food processor, process dates for about 2 or 3 minutes, until they are well chopped and almost a thick paste consistency.

Assemble Line 2 large rimmed baking sheets with Gefen Easy Baking Parchment Paper.

Working with one round at a time, remove dough from freezer and plastic wrap, and place onto a slightly floured counter. Spread about 2 to 3 tablespoons apple butter all over the dough. Generously sprinkle sugar cinnamon mixture over apple butter.

Add a generous amount of chopped dates and golden raisins (press them down).

Cut the dough round into 8 wedges. Starting from the large side, roll each wedge 90 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

into a crescent shape and place onto the prepared parchment-lined sheet pans. Freeze crescents for 15 minutes.

Prepare the Glaze In a small mixing bowl, combine maple syrup, honey, and orange liqueur.

Bake Preheat the oven to 375 F. Remove rugelach from the freezer and, using a pastry brush, generously coat all sides of the crescents with the glaze. Optionally, garnish with the raw sugar and/or bee pollen.

Bake for 20 to 22 minutes, or until slightly golden brown (rotate pan halfway through baking). Remove from oven and sprinkle some more raw sugar. Let cool on wire rack for about 20 minutes and then glaze again with the pastry brush.

Serve and enjoy for a sweet, honey-drenched New Year!

Note: This recipe was adapted from my “secret” dairy rugelach recipe. Feel free to make them dairy for a flakier, more intense “melt-in-your-mouth” rugelach experience. These can be stored in a parchment-lined Tupperware container at room temperature for up to four days. Or they can be frozen for up to one month.

Tip: The key to making this a very easy recipe is to make sure to keep all your ingredients and dough super cold and to not skip the in-between refrigeration steps.

Modified from recipe by: Sarah Lasry Photography and styling: Esti Photography Source: Whisk by Ami Magazine, reprinted in Kosher.com

KEEPING IT KOSHER

Dip the Apple in the Honey Cake Cooking and Prep: 1 hour Serves: 8 Preference: Pareve Difficulty: Easy Occasion: Rosh Hashanah Diet: Vegetarian, pescatarian, gluten free and low carb 5 small or large Gala or Macintosh apples (Gala is best and smaller apples are preferable), peeled and sliced into thin moon shapes ½ cup Gefen Unsweetened Applesauce ½ cup Gefen Honey 1 teaspoon Gefen Vanilla Extract ½ cup avocado oil or melted coconut oil 4 eggs, beaten 1 cup white spelt or white whole wheat 1 teaspoon Gefen Baking Powder ½ teaspoon cinnamon

Prepare the Cake Preheat oven to 350 F. Line a springform pan with Gefen Easy Baking Parchment Paper and spray the sides with oil.

Mix the wet ingredients with the sliced apples.

Combine the dry ingredients and fold them into the apple mixture.

Pour apple mixture into the prepared pan, place on a cookie sheet, and bake for 45 minutes or until golden on the top.

Allow to cool and run a knife around the sides to loosen. Open the springform pan and remove the cake.

Tip: Feel free to mix red and green apples for a less sweet outcome.

Modified recipe by: Rorie Weisberg Source: Kosher.com

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 91

COMMUNITY Jewish Joke of the Week

Sabbath Violator Morris and Lenny are strolling home from shul one Saturday morning. Suddenly a cab speeds past, and their friend, Irving, is running frantically behind it, flailing his arms wildly.

“Well,” said Lenny, “I never imagined our good friend Irving was a Sabbath violator! Look at him running for that taxi.”

“Wait a minute,” Morris replied. “Didn’t you read that book I lent you, ‘The Other Side of the Story,’ about the command to judge other people favorably? I’ll bet we can think of hundreds of excuses for Irving’s behavior.”

“Yeah, like what?”

“Maybe he’s sick and needs to go to the hospital.”

“Come on! He was running 60 miles an hour after that cab; he’s healthier than Arnold Schwarzenegger.”

“Well, maybe his wife’s having a baby.”

“She had one last week.”

“Well, maybe he needs to visit her in the hospital.”

“She’s home.”

“Well, maybe he’s running to the hospital to get a doctor.”

“He is a doctor.”

“Well, maybe he needs supplies from the hospital.”

“The hospital is a three-minute walk in the opposite direction.”

“Well, maybe he forgot that it’s Shabbos!”

“Of course, he knows it’s Shabbos. Didn’t you see his tie? It was his paisley beige 100 percent silk Gucci tie from Italy. He never wears it during the week.”

“Wow, you’re really observant! I didn’t even notice he was wearing a tie.”

“How could you not notice? Didn’t you see how it was caught on the back fender of the taxi?”

Joke provided by David Minkoff www.awordinyoureye.com

Yiddish Word of the Week Yontef

‫יונטף‬

yontif, yomtov, yomtev, yontev a Jewish holiday This is a Yiddish pronunciation of the Hebrew term ‫( יום טוב‬yom tov), which means good day. This refers to Jewish holidays on which work is forbidden. Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Pesach are examples.

Jews outside of Israel (as well as Yiddish speakers in Israel) greet each other on such holidays by saying “Gut yontif,” literally “Good good day,” meaning “Good holiday.” In Hebrew, the standard greeting is “chag same’ach,” meaning “Happy holiday.”

“Where will you be for yontef?”

92 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

BRAIN FOOD

The Sweetest Thing

ACROSS

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1. *Hair item 5. *Like a late autumn day 10. *Chicago athlete 14. Banned apple spray 15. ___-Loompa (Wonka employee) 16. "It's either you ___!"

17. Big name in contact lens 18. Israeli band, with "Nachash" 19. Bonanza finds 20. *Honored with insults?

22. Lake vessel 24. Have a feeling 26. Shofars, e.g.

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23. Protein source 25. When Jewish holiday's start 27. Breezed through 28. Pen 29. Scout in Genesis 31. Kind of tea 32. Yom 34. Sacrificial bird 35. Name often yelled on "Cheers" 36. Craving 37. NCSYer 39. Virus heavily researched at Hebrew U 40. Made like Jeremiah DOWN 42. It's a bit pricier than beef 1. The Raiders' QB 43. Hodges and Bellows 2. Bread spread 44. *Gives a potch 3. "Every ___ king" 45. Mishandles 4. Home of the Great Synagogue 46. Mentally acute of Europe 47. Indy champ Castroneves 5. Mickey and Tarik 48. Make like Solomon or Herod 6. Highway 6 or Route 443, e.g. 50. Capital of Jordan 7. ___B (site for cinema lovers) 52. Max Weinberg item 8. Joust verbally 53. How Elijah operated before 9. When doubled, a Pacific taking on Elisha capital 55. Voting "no" 10. *Kid's scrape 56. Baseball team with a history 11. It may get you to first base dating to 1869 12. "Not ___ bone in his body" 57. Fast kid in "The Incredibles" 13. Observes the Sabbath 60. "I'll take that as ___" 21. Hardy's D'Urbervilles girl famous Butler 51. Some newspapers 54. *Clue Colonel 58. "Smart" one 59. Makes like the Jews, centuries ago 61. First subtopic 62. "Casablanca" role 63. Arm bones 64. Former Fords 65. *Poker prizes 66. *Neptune has 14 of them 67. *Roof attachment, for some

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25 Years Ago// September 23, 1994 ■ The Atlanta Jewish Federation provided Jewish Family Services with a grant to organize a transportation system to assist the elderly with attending synagogue for the high holidays.

15 Years Ago// September 24, 2004 ■ Five North metro shuls participated in a program that aimed at reaching unaffiliated families. The program, Rekindle Shabbat, paired host families recruited from Chabad of Alpharetta, Congregation Dor Tamid, Congregation Gesher L’Torah, Temple Emanu-El and Temple Kehillat Chaim, with unaffiliated families. The program was funded by the Jewish Federation of Greater Atlanta and coordinated by the Center for Jewish Education and Experiences.

■ Jordan Moskowitz, 15, was the Jewish Star of the week. She created a high school service club to benefit Second Wind Dreams, while running for the cross-country team, playing basketball and tennis, and serving on the yearbook staff. She also was very involved in BBYO.

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H

R

20

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■ Immanuel Jakobovits, the former chief rabbi of Great Britain, spoke at the Atlanta Scholars Kollel seventh anniversary on Jewish life in the Diaspora.

50 Years Ago// September 26, 1969 ■ Israel Bond fashion show and festival at Memorial Arts Center had more than 25 designers in attendance. Admission for the event was only $2.

Immanuel Jakobovits, the former chief rabbi of Great Britain, visited Atlanta.

■ Nancy Schwartzberg was elected president of Delta Phi Epsilon Atlanta Alumnae. The vice presidents were Marsha Pollock and Gloria Miller.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 93

OBITUARIES

Fred Gerlich

Abe Gaynes

Fred Gerlich, age 63, lost his battle with heart issues Sept. 11, 2019. Fred was a talented architectural photographer who graduated from Rochester Institute of Technology and pursued his lifelong passion. He ran Fred Gerlich Photography for 40 years.

Fred was an active member of the Atlanta City Sales Club and had wonderful friends from the many years he was a member.

Survivors include his wife Fran Rothfarb Gerlich, who he married 31 years ago; son Alan Gerlich of Winston Salem, N.C.; daughter and son-in-law Stephanie and Robert Tolley of Charlotte, N.C.; and in-laws Ruth and Dave Rothfarb of Lantana, Fla., Linda and Gary Cutson of New York, Joanne and Michael Kooden of Savannah, and Michael and Lorena Rothfarb of Alpharetta.

Graveside services were held Sept. 13, 2019, at Arlington Cemetery, and were officiated by longtime friend Bonnie Salamon. Donations can be made to the American Heart Association in memory of Fred.

Abe Gaynes, son of Benjamin and Betty Ginsky, died in Atlanta Sept. 17, 2019, at the age of 97. He was born in Odessa, Ukraine, was raised in Newark and Irvington, N.J., and graduated from Irvington High School. He was a member of an anti-artillery unit in the U.S. Army during World War II. As a teenager Abe met the love of his life, Yolanda, at the Jersey shore and they married upon his return from his military service. They raised their family in Millburn, N.J., where they lived for 35 years. Abe was the owner of Red Star Paint and Wallpaper in Irvington for over 20 years.

He had many hobbies, including a keen interest in nature, but he especially loved tennis, which he played for 40 years.

Yola and Abe retired to Boca Raton, and then to Delray Beach, Fla. They enjoyed a life filled with travel and tennis. In 2009, Yola and Abe moved to Atlanta to live near family, where they remained until their respective deaths.

Abe is survived by his son and daughter-in-law Bruce and Shelley Gaynes; daughter and son-in-law Leslie and Richard Gelfond; grandchildren Melissa (Adam) Lowy, Wendy (Gary) Strauss, and Jonathan, Melanie and Carley Gaynes; and five greatgrandchildren: Ryan and Devin Lowy and Gabby, Julia and Maci Strauss.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Weinstein Hospice in Atlanta, the Michael J. Fox Foundation, or a charity of your choice. A funeral service was held Sept. 20, 2019, at Congregation Beth Shalom. A family burial followed. Arrangements

by Dressler’s Jewish Funeral Care, Atlanta, 770-451-4999. Sign the online guest book at www.edressler.com.

63, Atlanta

97, Atlanta

‫זיכרונה לברכה‬

94 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

OBITUARIES

Leah (Lily) Sher 93, Atlanta

Leah (Lily) Sher, our beloved mom, age 93, passed away peacefully Sept. 21, 2019.

She was preceded in death by her loving husband of 44 years, Issy.

Lily was born in Pretoria, South Africa, Nov. 13, 1925, and immigrated to Atlanta in 1985. She enjoyed watching all sports, especially baseball, tennis and golf, and was an avid Braves fan.

A devoted wife, mother, Bobba, and Gigi, she will be sorely missed by her daughter and son-in-law Cheryl and David Joss; son and daughter-in-law Ralph and Gill Sher; grandchildren Greg, Wayne (Tammy), Tammy (Robert), Jodi (Zak) and Lara (Noah); and great-grandchildren Maya, Jordan, Sophia, Seth and Mitzi.

In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to The Bremen Home.

A graveside service was held at Arlington Memorial Park Sept. 22 with Rabbi Yossi New officiating.

Alan Stephen Rubenstein 80, Atlanta

Alan Stephen Rubenstein (1939-2019) was a loving husband, father, brother, grandfather and uncle, prolific entrepreneur, talented salesman, avid teller of jokes, international president of the Hebrew Order of David, the patriarch of the extended Rubenstein family, and an all-around mensch.

Alan was born Feb. 20, 1939, in Johannesburg, South Africa, to Solly and Rose (née Shub) Rubenstein, and lived in Atlanta since 1977. He began his career working for his father’s tire retreading business, and went on to own businesses in retreading, IT services, electric vehicles, and home remodeling, among many other ventures. Along the way, he visited almost 50 different countries and had friends all over the world.

After moving his family to the United States, Alan became a mentor and bridgebuilder for many South African immigrants to come. Alan had a gift of seeing the common humanity in everyone. He treated others with respect and love, regardless of status or nationality. He gave generously of his time, treasure and talents. He was a community builder, a mentor to many and a friend to all. Alan was instrumental in creating the first HOD lodge in North America and helped to grow the organization to nine North American lodges. He got great pleasure being the international grand president of HOD, now in five countries with 25 lodges. He embodied the soul of HOD to serve the community, applying Jewish ideals and values. With his greatest love Joan, he raised a beautiful family, traveled the world, and built a legacy of love and community. Alan lived life to the fullest. He never failed to have a joke for every moment, saw an opportunity in everything and shared his love generously.

He is survived by his wife Joan (née Fedler) Rubenstein; brother Brian Rubenstein (Gayle); brother-in-law David; children Darryl Rubenstein, Andrea Janis (Stephen), Leanne Rubenstein and Brad Rubenstein (Mandi); grandchildren Kenny Janis, Shana Janis, Allie Rubenstein, Trevor Rubenstein, Ethan Rubenstein, Aaron Rubenstein and Saul Rubenstein; and many nieces and nephews.

He is preceded in death by his parents Solly and Rose Rubenstein, his sister Jenny Lurie (née Rubenstein) and his son Saul Rubenstein. Donations can be made to Hebrew Order of David Foundation Inc., 300 Nell Court, Atlanta, GA 30342, online at www.hodnorthamerica.org/donate-now/ click donate HOD Foundation; or Weinstein Hospice at www.weinsteinhospice.com. Arrangements by Dressler’s Jewish Funeral Care, 770-451-4999.

Obituaries in the AJT are written and paid for by the families; contact Managing Publisher Kaylene Ladinsky at kaylene@atljewishtimes.com or 404-883-2130, ext. 100, for details about submission, rates and payments. Death notices, which provide basic details, are free and run as space is available; send submissions to editor@atljewishtimes.com.

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 95

CLOSING THOUGHTS My Family’s Immigration In the face of the immiJacob had been a supervigration battle that is going sor building roads in Hungary on now, it is useful to review and was accustomed to workthe immigration issues that ing as a laborer. He heard of occurred a hundred years work in Youngstown, Ohio, ago by telling you about how moved there to a rooming I came to be born in the U.S. house and started work as a In 1914, World War I laborer at Youngstown Sheet broke out and Hungary was and Tubing. His living costs allied with Germany against were minimal and there was France and England. My Allen H. virtually no income tax to grandparents, Jacob and Fre- Lipis pay. He eventually became ida Klein, were living in Hun- The Bottom Line a foreman and accumulated gary at the time, in a small $10,000 in savings in the three village called Szamos Ujvar in Transylvania. years that he worked there. He had a shoeThey had a small farm with chickens and a maker sew $2,000 into his shoes as emerfew cows, and they grew vegetables. They gency money and always wore those shoes. were Orthodox Jews.

After the war, he returned to his wife In 1916, Hungary started to draft men with a huge amount of money and tried to into their army, and many immigrated to start several businesses, but none of them the U.S. to avoid being involved in the war. were successful. The economy in HunMy grandfather was one of them. He said gary was in a depression. The soap factory goodbye to his wife and four young children failed and the piece goods business went and promised to send them money from the nowhere. Jacob knew there was a better job U.S. through the Red Cross, which he later and a better life in the U.S., but his wife did did. My mother was one of those children, not want to go because she would be giving then 4 years old. There was no way to com- up the huge extended family living nearby. municate back then. No phone, no computIn early 1921, Jacob was informed by the ers, nothing except by letter, and that was U.S. Embassy that the U.S. government was goiffy with the war going on. ing to put significant restrictions on immigra-

96 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

tion there, and either Jacob and his family had to leave very soon or they would not be able to come to the U.S. Indeed, the Immigration Restriction Act of 1921 was passed on May 19, 1921. It restricted European immigration to 3 percent of the U.S. citizens from each country as recorded in the 1910 U.S. Census, with few exceptions. With those restrictions certain to occur, my grandmother agreed to leave her extended family, knowing full well that she would never see them again … she never did.

The Kleins arrived in the U.S. in March 1921.

They had no help and had to make their way in this country on their own … and they did.

My grandparents had no formal education, but my Zeyda, my grandfather, worked all of his life in the produce business, first selling fruits and vegetables from his truck traveling around the neighborhood and eventually opening a store in New York after they moved back there to be with other family members that had made it to the U.S. also. Most of the extended family stayed in Europe and were killed in the Holocaust.

My uncles never went to college. They all grew up as Americans, and two of them served in World War II. None of them ever needed government assistance. My mother never graduated from high school but found jobs in the bakery business and then

in the stock market. There is a similar story about my father, who always found work even in the depression years and thereafter, but that is another story.

We have immigrants wanting to come to the U.S. now, and most of them want to work, want to be Americans, and want a better life for themselves and their families. They are like my grandparents. They come from a different country; they speak a different language, but they want a better life for their family and are willing to work hard to achieve it. Of course, they should speak English, but that is not a reason to exclude them. My grandmother learned it studying with her children as they went to public school, and she was praised by the judge for that when he certified her as a citizen. Immigrants want the same chance my family had, and we need to find a way to make this happen.

The Bottom Line: “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!” ■

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 97

ROSH HASHANAH SERVICES

CALENDAR

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 28

Rosh in the Park – Murphy Candler Park, 1551 W. Nancy Creek Drive, Atlanta from 2 to 4 p.m. Celebrate Rosh Hashanah with The Sixth Point through its own version of an alternative to services. Participate in meaningful conversations and interactive discussions about the holiday. Also reflect on the past year and share intentions for the coming year. Free. For more information, www.bit.ly/2kug419.

SEPTEMBER 29 – OCTOBER 1

High Holidays at Chabad Intown– Chabad Intown on the BeltLine, 730 Ponce De Leon Place NE, Atlanta, starting at 9:30 a.m. on Friday, Sept. 29. Celebrate the high holidays with Chabad Intown. Whether you’ve joined Chabad Intown for the high holidays in the past or this is your first time celebrating with us, you and your family can look forward to celebrating the holy days enveloped by the uplifting spirit of discovery and solidarity. For more information, www.bit.ly/2khY4r0.

Temple Sinai Erev Rosh Hashanah Service – Temple Sinai, 5645 Dupree Drive, Atlanta, at 8 p.m. Temple Sinai’s Erev Rosh Hashanah service is open to the community. Tickets are not required. For more information, www. bit.ly/2k41Rbg.

SEPTEMBER 29–30

Rosh Hashanah at Temple Kehillat – Temple Kehillat Chaim, 1145 Green

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 29

The Temple Erev Rosh Hashanah Service with The Well – The Temple, 1589 Peachtree Street NE, Atlanta, from 7:30 to 9:30 p.m. Tickets are free. Register at the door or, to register ahead of time, contact Rabbi Sam at skaye@thetemple.org or Nalo Grant at Ngrant@ the-temple.org.

98 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

Erev Rosh Hashanah – Temple Emanu-El, 1580 Spalding Drive, Atlanta, from 8 to 9 p.m. Community friends and out-of-town guests are invited to join in our High Holy Day services.

Tickets are required and include all High Holy Day services. For tickets and more information, www.bit.ly/2jYuFlh

Street, Roswell, from 7:30 p.m. Sunday to 8 p.m. Monday. $75 adult member, $150 adult nonmember, free for fulltime students, military and first-time attendees. For more information and to purchase tickets, www.bit.ly/2kdJctF.

Rosh Hashanah Services – Congregation Kehillat HaShem, 640 Stone House Lane NW, Marietta, from 7:30 p.m. Sunday until 12 p.m. Monday.

Free. For more information, www.bit. ly/2m0zOdu.

Rosh Hashanah Services – Congregation Beth Shalom, 5303 Winters Chapel Road, Dunwoody. Beth Shalom offers two services that do not require a tick-

SEPTEMBER 28 – OCTOBER 6 NE, Sandy Springs, from 5 to 6:30 p.m.

Free. For more information, www.bit. ly/2lwaGLo.

CANDLE-LIGHTING TIMES

Rosh Hashanah Sunday, September 29, 2019, light candles at 7:07 p.m.

Monday, September 30, 2019, light candles after 8:00 p.m.

Tuesday, October 1, 2019 holiday ends at 7:59 p.m. et. These services are open to the entire community: Erev Rosh Hashanah on Sunday, Sept. 29, at 6:30 p.m.; and the second day of Rosh Hashanah, Tuesday, Oct. 1, at 8:30 a.m. For more information, www.bit.ly/2krnnXz.

per adult. For tickets and more information, www.bit.ly/2jYuFlh.

YJP Slacker’s Service – Chabad Intown on the BeltLine, 730 Ponce De Leon Place NE, Atlanta, From 6:30 to 10 p.m. Free. For more information, www. bit.ly/2lZAUpL.

Rosh Hashanah Community Dinner – Chabad of North Fulton, 10180 Jones Bridge Road, Alpharetta, from 8 to 10 p.m. Enjoy traditional Rosh Hashanah delicacies and a full course dinner with family and friends. $30 per adult, $18 per child over 5, free per child under 5. For more information, www.bit.ly/2mfwUSa.

Rosh Hashanah Services– Temple

Rosh Hashanah Services – Columbus, Ga. – Shearith Israel Synagogue, 6727 River Road, Columbus, Sunday, from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m, Monday, from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., and Tuesday, from 9:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. Please join us for high holiday services this year. Services are conducted

by Rabbi Brian Glusman and Cantor Jack Kahn. For tickets and more information, www.bit.ly/2lA3fmg.

Rosh Hashana Services 2019 – Congregation Shaarei Shamayim, 1600 Mt. Mariah Road NE, Atlanta, from 6:30 p.m. Sunday through 9:30 p.m. Tuesday. Free. For more information, www. bit.ly/2lPX1yX.

Rosh Hashana Services – Chabad of North Fulton, 10180 Jones Bridge Road, Alpharetta, from 7 to 8 p.m. each day. Free seating on a first-come first-served basis. No membership or tickets required. Reserve a seat guaranteed and marked with your name.

Limited availability. Reserved seats are $120. For more information, www.bit. ly/2lChmHA.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 30

Rosh Hashanah Day 1– Temple Emanu-El, 1580 Spalding Drive, Atlanta, from 8 a.m. to 10:15 a.m. and 11:45 a.m. to 1:45 p.m. Community friends and out-of-town guests are invited to join us for High Holy Day services. $249

Beth Tikvah, 9955 Coleman Road, Roswell from 8 a.m. to 10:30 a.m. For tickets and more information, 770-6420434.

B’nai Torah Rosh Hashanah Day 1 – Congregation B’nai Torah, 700 Mount Vernon Highway NE, Sandy Springs, from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. B’nai Torah offers a traditional service, an enrichment service, an essential service, youth programming and babysitting. For more information, www.bit.ly/2lwaGLo.

Temple Sinai Rosh Hashanah Day 1 Service – Temple Sinai, 5645 Dupree Drive, Atlanta, from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m.

Temple Sinai’s Day 1 Rosh Hashanah service is for members only. For more information, www.bit.ly/2k41Rbg.

The Temple Rosh Hashanah Day 1 Service – The Temple, 1589 Peachtree Street NE, Atlanta from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. For more information, www.bit. ly/2lDZaNN.

Temple Sinai Rosh Hashanah Day 2 Service – Temple Sinai, 5645 Du-

SEPTEMBER 30 – OCTOBER 1

New Toco Shul Rosh Hashanah Services – 2003 Lavista Road, Atlanta, from 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. each day.

Free. For more information, www.bit. ly/2lw8ZO2.

High Holy Days at Congregation Dor Tamid – Congregation Dor Tamid, 11165 Parsons Road, Johns Creek, from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. For tickets and more Information, www.bit.ly/2lG9fK5.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 1

Rosh Hashanah Day 2 – Temple Emanu-El, 1580 Spalding Drive, Atlanta, from 10 to 11 a.m. Free and open to the community. To register and for more information, www.bit.ly/2lD1LaV.

pree Drive, Atlanta, from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. Temple Sinai’s Day 2 Rosh Hashanah service free and open to the public. For more information, www.bit. ly/2k41Rbg.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 6

Heneini High Holy Day Service – Temple Sinai, 5645 Dupree Drive, Atlanta, from 11 to 11:45 a.m. Please join in as we hold a special combined Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur service created for those living with cognitive or memory issues. Free. For more information, www.bit.ly/2kvNYmm.

To find more Rosh Hashanah services to attend, visit: www.atlantajewishconnector.com/series/ rosh-hashanah-services-2019/.

Rosh Hashanah Young Children’s Service – Temple Emanu-El, 1580 Spalding Drive, Atlanta, from 10:45 to 11:15 a.m. This is a special service that provides families with small children an opportunity to share in the High Holy Day experience. Free and open to the public. For more information, www.bit.ly/2jZLlZI.

Essential Rosh Hashanah Service at B’nai Torah – Congregation B’nai Torah, 700 Mount Vernon Highway ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 99

CALENDAR SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 28

AJFF Connects: Circus of Books – Landmark Midtown Art Cinema, 931 Monroe Drive NE, Atlanta, from 7 to 9 p.m. This poignant and funny documentary warmly depicts the unusual experience of growing up alongside an iconic West Hollywood gay porn bookstore run by the filmmaker’s straight, middle-class Jewish parents. $11 general admission. For tickets and more information, www.bit.ly/2lOl9la.

SEPTEMBER 28-29

CANDLE-LIGHTING TIMES

Nitzavim Friday, September 27, 2019, light candles at 7:10 p.m.

Saturday, September 28, 2019, Shabbat ends at 8:03 p.m.

Vayelech Friday, October 4, 2019, light candles at 7:00 p.m.

Saturday, October 4, 2019, Shabbat ends at 7:54 p.m.

Helen Kotler Ph.D. LPC. $25 per session.

To join the group, hkotler@jfcsatl.org, or call 404-210-9571.

Atlanta, from 12:15 to 1:30 p.m. All are invited to experience the Jewish tradition of Tashlich at a family picnic and celebration. Tashlich, which means “sending away” in Hebrew, is the tradition of tossing breadcrumbs into a body of water. Just as the water carries away the bits of bread, so too are the “sins” symbolically carried away. Cosponsored by Jewish Kids Groups. Free and open to all. For more information, www.bit.ly/2lX9UXI.

mitzvah celebration in one afternoon!

Join Atlanta Party Connection for an EXPO featuring nearly 100 top professionals who will bring your simcha vision to life. Bring the whole family to sample party food and drink, win fantastic door prizes and participate in fun activities. Free. For more information, www.bit.ly/2lSTxvy.

JF&CS Mitzvah Day – Metro Atlanta,

Guided River Canoe Trips on the Chattahoochee River – Chatta-

Sandy Springs Festival – Heritage Sandy Springs, 6110 Blue Stone Road, Sandy Springs, from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Saturday and 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday.

The festival includes an Art District with the Artist Market consisting of more than 50 fine artists juried by Atlanta Foundation for Public Spaces; Entertainment District with live music on the Sandy Springs Society Lawn as well as Battle of the Bands showcasing local talent competing for prizes; and Cultural District with entertainment, demonstrations and businesses from at least 10 countries from around the world. Free. For more information, www.bit.ly/2lOQ9l5.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 30

Café Europa for Holocaust Survivors – Congregation Beth Jacob, 1855 Lavista Road, Atlanta, from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. Cafe Europa is a monthly social gathering for Holocaust survivors at Congregation Beth Jacob held the last Monday of the month. The gathering includes entertainment or a speaker and a kosher catered lunch.

Free. For more information, www.bit. ly/2MEdRxG.

Divorce & Separation Support Group – Jewish Family & Career Services, 4549 Chamblee Dunwoody Road, Atlanta, from 6 to 8 p.m. Join this biweekly support group facilitated by

100 | SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 3

High Holiday Boot Camp: Yom Kippur: Broken Promises – Chabad Intown on the BeltLine, 730 Ponce De Leon Place NE, Atlanta, from 7:30 to 8:30 p.m. The 60-minute sessions delve deep inside Jewish tradition and practice to prepare you to make the most of your Jewish holiday experience.

Free. For more information, www.bit. ly/2kuc8Of.

from 1 to 5 p.m. Mitzvah Day is one of Atlanta’s biggest Jewish young adult volunteer days. Join us on Sunday, Oct. 6, for an opportunity to schmooze with other young professionals and have fun while giving back to the community. There are great projects all over Atlanta and many chances to give your time to make a difference. For more information, www.bit.ly/2kfyvXk.

Bar and Bat Mitzvah Expo – Crowne Plaza Atlanta Perimeter at Ravina, 4355 Ashford Dunwoody Road, Atlanta, from 1:30 to 4 p.m. Plan your bar/bat

hoochee Nature Center, 9135 Willeo Road, Roswell, at 5 p.m. Take a leisurely evening 2.5-hour paddle with the experienced canoe guides, while learning all about the environment of the Chattahoochee River. This trip is a great first-time experience or a fun way to reconnect with the river you already treasure. On the trip you will look for wildlife and learn about the wetland ecosystem that is unique to metro Atlanta. All equipment is provided. Ages 6 and up. For tickets and more information, www.bit.ly/2CmG71Y.

Find more events and submit items for our online and print calendars at:

www.atlantajewishconnector.com

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 6

Tashlich at the Lake - JCC Zaban Park – Marcus JCC, 5342 Tilly Mill Road,

Calendar sponsored by the Atlanta Jewish Connector, an initiative of the AJT. In order to be considered for the print edition, please submit events two weeks in advance. Contact community relations director, Jen Evans, for more information at jen@atljewishtimes.com.

SEPTEMBER 28 – OCTOBER 8 MONDAY, OCTOBER 7

of Judaic Needlework is an international organization devoted to needlework traditions through the sharing of handcrafted items for both Jewish ritual and every day cultural use. $45 for an annual membership. For meeting location and more information, email, peachstatestitch@aol.com.

Divorce & Separation Support Group – Jewish Family & Career Services, 4549 Chamblee Dunwoody Road, Atlanta, from 6 to 8 p.m. Join this biweekly support group facilitated by Helen Kotler Ph.D. LPC. $25 per session.

To join the group, hkotler@jfcsatl.org or call 404-210-9571.

Torah Studies – Chabad Intown on the BeltLine, 730 Ponce De Leon Place

NE, Atlanta, from 7:30 to 8:30 p.m. Join this acclaimed Torah Studies program, bringing you the tradition of classical Jewish learning in a series of inspiring and engaging weekly classes. The lessons probe the depths of contemporary Torah thought, with a special focus on issues surrounding spirituality, the human psyche, love,and relationships. Every experience offers meaningful and timely lessons, from the most timeless of texts. For more information, www.bit.ly/2SfnVPV.

Got old issues?

If you discover old issues of the Atlanta Jewish Times laying around, we want them.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 8

Teens and How to Have a Phoneless Conversation – Jeff’s Place at Chabad

Judaic Needlework Meetings – Off North Shallowford Road and I-285, Atlanta at 7 p.m. The Pomegranate Guild

Intown on the BeltLine, 730 Ponce De Leon Place NE, Atlanta, from 7 to 9 p.m.

Come learn how to have a real conversation with teens and what they are going through. Free. For more information, www.bit.ly/2kNYVQm.

To boost our archives, we will come pick up any AJT issues from 2014 or earlier.

Please call 404-883-2130 or write kaylene@ atljewishtimes.com to setup retrieval.

Subscribe, Support, Sustain.

As always, thank you for reading your Atlanta Jewish times.

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MARKETPLACE HOME HEALTH CARE Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled

Angelhands Home Care Services

Providing 24 hour professional care for your loved ones & their daily needs.

LEARNING

KEEPING THE JEWISH SOUTHEAST CONNECTED

Learn Canasta LEAGUE of AMERICA

You spoke. We listened.

Check out your new Atlanta Jewish Times.

Sharon McKenzie

angelhands8@yahoo.com | 678.525.6195

Patti Wasserman Certified Canasta Instructor 561-350-7124 • playcanasta@yahoo.com

COLLECTIBLES

CAREGIVER

THE DUSTY COIN, LLC

25 yrs exp. with catastrophic and rehabilitation aid, excellent references, avail 7am-7pm Mon-Thu. Bathing, dressing, bowel program, transfer, transportation and house duty, plus range of motion.

Call 404-274-2811

“Shekels For Your Collectibles”

• Coins • Bullion • Jewelry • Flatware

404-263-2967

Strict Confidentiality • References Upon Request

Subscribe, Support, Sustain.

1-year subscription for home delivery: $65 in GA, $89 outside of state, delivery by U.S. mail.

Go to www.atlantajewishtimes.com/subscription or call 404-883-2130.

CAREGIVER Professional, loving and experienced caregiver with great references. Will work MondayFriday. Experience working with Alzheimer's & Parkinson's patients, etc. 404-431-2616

VISIT OUR WEBSITE

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Member: ANA, NGC & PCGS

TRAVEL

F O R M O R E O F W H AT YO U N E E D

TRAVEL

HOME CARE

SKYWAY TRAVEL INC. Serving Atlanta since 1990

YOUR ADVENTURES BECOME A REALITY WITH THE HELP OF A PROFESSIONAL TRAVEL ADVISOR

River Cruise Specialist Custom Planning by Land & Sea Individual & Group Arrangements Professional, Experienced & Personal Service

Barbara Diener Land & Cruise Specialist American Express Approved Agency 770-740-9099

bdiener@cruiseplanners.com www.travelsmartdreambig.com

Experienced in all aspects of travel.

My expertise is your ticket to an amazing journey.

LOWEST DISCOUNTED INTERNATIONAL AIRFARES!

TEL AVIV RT FROM $698 + Taxes

ALSO AVAILABLE AT LOW PRICES: • PARIS • AMSTERDAM • BARCELONA • LONDON • BUDAPEST • GENEVA • LISBON • MILAN • VIENNA • ZURICH • ROME • ATHENS • JOHANNESBURG • MOSCOW RT from Atlanta other destinations available some restrictions apply

404 -252-2152

Travel Smart, Dream Big!

Eleventh Series Jubilee Bonds ($25,000 minimum) for 10 Years %

3.00

Eleventh Series Maccabee Bonds ($5,000 minimum) for 10 Years

Eighth Series Mazel Tov Bonds ($100 minimum) for 5 Years

Eighth Series eMitzvah Bonds ($36 minimum) for 5 Years

2.84%

2.78%

2.78%

(404) 817-3500 Atlanta@Israelbonds.com Development Corp. for Israel Member FINRA Valid Through: 9-30-2019

ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 | 103

104 SEPTEMBER 27, 2019 ATLANTA JEWISH TIMES