PERSONAL HEALTH
Do you get angry more often as you grow older? In a Psychology Today article There’s little reward for and blog, Morton Shaevitz notes yelling at the neighborhood kids the old saying: “You’re only as old to stay off your property. as you feel.” Then, he adds: “Yet, “Otherwise, you’ll waste all of to the outside world, you’re only your energy patrolling your yard as old as you behave.” and yelling at kids to get the hell “Being grumpy, negative, off it,” Kershner wrote. judgmental, Closer to critical, rigid, and home, 80-yearcomplaining doesn’t old Dunwoody really feel very good, resident Barry and guess what? It (I’m using first doesn’t make the names only, at people around you the request of feel good, either.” the interviewees) A recent “anger agrees. “Many management” of my retired survey found that male friends find Georgians (in they have time general) were angry Judith L. Kanne, on their hands about six times and say they will RN, BSN, BA per week during take a closer look is a registered nurse and 2020 (comparable at their daily freelance writer who lives to our national surroundings and average). The survey in Atlanta. voice opinions on (from Alcohol. what they see.” org) included 3,003 To others, this Americans. may seem like criticism and may Many said that spending be viewed as “grouchy” behavior. more time at home for But Barry sees it as leading social distancing during the to “the popular description of coronavirus pandemic was ‘grouchy old men.’” a major contributor. A slow Jim (also in his 80s) and a WiFi connection or an excess long-time friend of Barry’s said, workload can add to one’s “In recent years, I have become irritability. The pandemic more ‘grouchy’ or impatient. brought with it a wave of This has only been exacerbated negative emotions, such as fear, by the arrival of COVID last stress, anger and frustration March!” at these unprecedented Jim and Barry both say their circumstances, according to the activity since retirement includes survey. keeping healthy and being The survey also found that involved with non-profit groups. 68% of the Georgians who have It has been very rewarding. anger based on the pandemic In asking about Jim’s opinion have used alcohol as a coping of women and irritability, he mechanism, and two of three indicated their “forbearance has of them admit that alcohol only improved by several degrees,” makes them angrier. and he says he is thankful for So, in these angry times, here that. are some thoughts on getting Paul, a colleague and editor mad as you grow older. on aging issues says, “I’m always on the lookout for ageist stereotypes, of course, and have Grumpy Old Men had my aging self as a primary Here’s what Jim Kershner, in source. I do find that in some The Spokesman Review, suggests ways I’ve become less patient to aging men: “Do not turn into a with things I used to let slide — ‘Grumpy Old Man’ — shift your with a bit of subvocal grousing still not-inconsiderable energies — ‘Good grief, Charlie Brown, into new, constructive pursuits, who’s got time for that?’” [the] ones that make sense for a “I think that’s true of many 60-year-old man.” men and women as we look back
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on what we had to put up with before. But if one can learn not to take it out on people — store clerks, loved ones, politicians and their office staff, and mainly on yourself — you can possibly realize the challenge of making a point more creatively.” Paul calls this strategic impatience. Senior lecturer Louise Brown Nicholis wrote in a 2019 article that “not all negative emotions are necessarily bad. If you’re stuck in traffic and running late, anger with the situation might motivate you to find an alternative route, which will then relieve your stress. But anger is less useful if you’re in the same situation but stuck on a motorway with no option to divert.” However, Nicholis also reminds us that, “Emotions have physiological effects, such as raising the level of cortisol in your bloodstream, and can affect your health. Indeed, a study, (published in a Canadian Psychology and Aging article) shows that high levels of anger are associated with poor health in older people.” According to Nicholis, “[N]ew research shows a link between emotion and health in older age — we do not know whether anger causes inflammation and illness or whether health problems make people angrier.”
Grouchy old women
“A major study of cultures all over the world identified six basic human emotions—and not surprisingly, anger was one of them,” Rosalind Barnett and Caryl Rivers state in a 2020 Psychology Today article. “Girl babies may scream until their little faces grow red with rage. But the older they get, the less such behavior is tolerated.” “As adults, women get the message that anger is alien to them. We simply have no script for female anger that does not involve such words as “crazy,” “out of control,” or simply “bonkers,” state Barnett and Rivers. Writer Ann Richardson says
she has a “… good life and little to complain about.” She believes most people who know her see her as a cheerful older woman. Yet, at the same time, Richardson says she feels herself turning into a Grumpy Old Woman. “I don’t know whether I am more annoyed by other people or by the increasing presence of modern technology,” Richardson writes. “All I know is that sometimes all my good cheer gets taken away.” Bonnie Marcus, who coaches executives, talks about a woman’s “double whammy” in the workplace. These are items that can add to a woman’s grumpiness, she explains in a Forbes article. “What’s clear from my conversations with women over 50,” says Marcus, is that the majority are still ambitious and don’t want to retire.” “Their motivation is not always financial,” states Marcus. “They‘re seeking fulfilling work and have the desire to utilize their skills and experience and remain in the workplace as long as possible.” These women have a lot to contribute and want to be productive. If that’s your case, Marcus says to “declare your ambition and let others know that you have no intention of slowing down.”
Anger Doesn’t Discriminate
If you find yourself feeling angry when you’d rather not, there are plenty of ways to help control and manage the emotion, from journaling feelings, to meditation, to exercise, or to talking things over with a trusted friend, loved one or professional. Some “silver lining” ideas for all of us come from Shaevitz (and others). Over the next week or two, be enthusiastic and see what happens. Text your grandchildren and reconnect. Don’t try to win every argument — instead, listen to what the other person is saying. But most of all, don’t be a grouch.
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