February 2012 - South Jersey MOM Magazine

February

what SCHOOL is BEST for your child? use our checklist to help you decide

2012

venfor Setips procrastinating kids

Summer Camp: Luxury or Necessity?

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Table of Contents

pg. 16 p Summer Cam Guide mom 2 mom 6 Celebrate Black History Month with a Special Project 8 What School is Best for Your Child?

Check the list

moms R women 2 10 The Myth of Work/Life Balance: Six Ways to Rethnk Your Approach to the Daily Grind

know 2 grow 20 Can You Survive a Preteen Sleepover?

How to Keep Your Sanity and Help Kids Have Fun 23 7 Tips for Procrastinating Kids

also in this issue 3 editor’s note 12 business spotlight: Sewell Dental Arts 15 business spotlight: Kumon Center Moorestown 18 business spotlight: First Financial Group 24 recipe corner 27 just born 29 things 2 do 30 resource guide www.southjerseymom.com

Dear Readers,

letter from the editor

February 2012

W

hen I wrote my letter last month, wondering what the New Year would hold, I had no idea how drastically my life was about to change.

My son has been struggling at his new school since the beginning of the school year. We thought he just needed to get adjusted to a new environment and a new schedule. Things slowly got a little better, but he has never quite been himself since starting Kindergarten.

I shared with you a couple months back, about the testing we sent Kayden for, after his teacher urged us to have him evaluated for any kind of medical problem that could cause his defiant behavior, his inability to sit still and be quiet…and myriad of other behavioral problems. After six weeks of every test under the sun, doctors determined that he didn’t have any medical disorder, he was actually quite intelligent, and his “bad” behavior in the classroom, was probably caused by him being…. bored!

While this was great news for him and us as parents, it wasn’t as well received by his teacher, who didn’t agree with the diagnosis.

This was not the response we expected.

I have been praying for my son and his problems at school for months. And over and over again, I felt led to home school. But I refused to even give it a second thought. I had no interest whatsoever in home schooling. I’d rather die than home school! Or so I thought….

Eventually, the signs were so clear that home schooling was the best option for Kayden. My heart and attitude about home

schooling have completely changed and both Kayden and I are super excited about this new path our lives are taking.

We had our first week of home school this week. It was amazing. I learned things about my son that I never knew before. We talked, we cuddled, we discussed topics I never had “time” for before. While I know there will be tough times, frustrating moments and even second thoughts, I know for a fact I made the right decision. Kayden has such peace. His whole demeanor has started to change. He’s more polite….he’s more thoughtful, he’s more loving. And I am at peace too.✲ Your Friend and Fellow MOM,

“ Like” South Jersey MOM magazine on Facebook and find out about local events, win prizes and connect with other moms in the area! www.facebook.com/SouthJerseyMOM

Special thanks to all the vendors and parents who attended the Summer Camp & Education Expo at Moorestown Mall! We look forward to seeing many of you again in June at our next Expo!

February 2012 | 3

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South Jersey February

All Kids First II

MOM 2012

CEO/Publisher: Christopher Ognibene • (609) 670-1794 chris@superiorgx.com Executive Editor Adrienne Richardson • (856) 305-3490 adrienne@southjerseymom.com Marketing & Business Development Specialist Michelle Scianni • (856) 986-9606 michelle@superiorgx.com

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Production Manager Lisa Celfo lisa@southjerseymom.com Photographer Christina DeColli JCP Portraits—Deptford Mall (856) 845-2891 Contributing Writers Laura Amann, Lisa Ann Panzino DiNunzio, Michele Ranard and David Thompson Submit Calendar Listing: calendar@southjerseymom.com

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February 2012 | 5

mom 2 mom

Celebrate Black History Month with a Special Project

W

hat do peanut butter, the gas mask and the Super Soaker have in common? They were all dreamed up by black inventors. Here are some famous inventions by African-Americans. Have some fun this month with your children and create a special project dedicated to an inventor who changed the future.

George Washington Carver (1860–1943) George Washington Carver changed lunchtime sandwiches forever when he invented peanut butter. Born a slave, Carver didn’t attend college until he was 30 years old, but he went on to create 400 new uses for peanuts, soybeans, sweet potatoes and pecans.

These new discoveries transformed the southern United States from a one-crop region of cotton into multi-crop farmlands, providing farmers with hundreds of profitable uses for their land.

Garrett Morgan (1877-1963) Both of Garrett Morgan’s inventions—the gas mask and traffic signal—help save lives. Many soldiers survived the First World War thanks to the gas mask, which prevented deadly mustard gas from entering the lungs. Today, our roads are orderly and less dangerous thanks to traffic lights that come from Morgan’s original idea. Morgan came up with the idea for a traffic light after witnessing an accident involving a horse-drawn buggy and a car.

6 | February 2012

Madame C. J. Walker (1867–1919) Orphaned at age 7, Madame C.J. Walker grew up poor, but her hair-care invention turned her into North America’s first selfmade female millionaire.

But making money and styling hair wasn’t what Walker was about. Her goal was to empower poor black women and show them how to become successful.Through her hair-care college, Walker trained thousands of working-class black women and gave them the opportunity to become self-sufficient.

Otis Boykin (1920–1982) As the creator of 28 different electronic devices, Otis Boykin symbolizes the modern-day inventor.

His electrical resistors are used in home computers, television sets, radios and guided missiles. He also invented the pacemaker, a medical heart simulator that corrects faulty heartbeats.

Lonnie G. Johnson (1949–) As an aerospace engineer, Lonnie G. Johnson spends most of his time inventing mechanical and electrical systems for NASA rockets, but he’s best known for another creation: the world famous Super Soaker water gun, which has generated more than $200 million in sales. But it hasn’t been all fun and games for Johnson, who has earned more than 40 patents both for his work with NASA and through his own company, Johnson Research & Development.

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What School is Best for Your Child?

Check the List!

H

STEP 2: GATHER INFORMATION Along with the schools’ curricula and philosophy, you will want to know about school policies and services.

Write Down Five Things That Are Most Important to You You may wish to write down five things that are most important to you as you consider the choice of a school. As you go through the selection process, you may want to add to and revise your list.

Curriculum q Does the school have a strong program of core academic subjects such as english, history, mathematics, science, arts, and foreign languages? q What courses does the school offer in addition to the core subjects?

ow do you pick the best school for your child? Whether you are choosing a public or private school or homeschooling, careful planning is a must. The following sections have questions for you to consider. Remember, you are looking for a school that will make the educational experience for your child and you as rewarding as possible.

STEP 1: CONSIDER YOUR CHILD AND YOUR FAMILY Start your search for the best school by thinking about what you want a school to do for your child. q Does your child need a more structured environment? Or less structured environment? q Does your child need more challenging work? Or more individual attention? q Does your child have any special learning needs?

Your Child’s Learning Style q Does your child learn best by seeing how things work? q Does your child learn best by reading about how something works? q Does your child learn best by listening? q Does your child like to participate in discussions? q Does your child like to learn through physical activity?

Location of School q Do you want your child to go to a school within walking distance of your home? q How far are you willing to drive your child to school?

8 | February 2012

Approach to Learning q Does the school have a particular approach to teaching and learning (e.g., group projects, individual performance, frequent testing)? q What is the homework policy? Does it match your expectations for how much homework your child should do? q How large are the classes?

Academic Performance q How do the school’s test scores compare to those of other schools? q In the past few years, have test scores risen or declined?

Behavior Policy q What does the school do to help develop character and citizenship? q What is the discipline policy? q What is the policy on school absences? q Do school personnel call parents when students are absent? q Does the school have a dress code?

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Safety q How does the school prevent and handle problems with drugs, alcohol and tobacco? q How does the school prevent and handle violence, bullying, harassment and other forms of abusive behavior? q What measures does the school take to ensure safety? q Does the school have an emergency plan for local and national emergencies?

Facilities and Services q Is there a well-stocked library where students can check out books and do research? q Do students have access to computers and to the Internet in the classroom and library? q Is use of the Internet monitored? q Is there a cafeteria and does the school offer a nutritionally well balanced lunch program? Breakfast program?

Admission Procedures q Is there an application process? What is the application deadline? q Is anything else required in the application (test scores, interview, recommendations, application fees, etc.)?

STEP 3: VISIT AND OBSERVE A good way to have your questions answered is to schedule an appointment with the school principal. If possible, attend an open house, parent-teacher meeting or other school function that would also provide valuable information about the attitudes of staff, students and parents.

Culture q Is the school orderly and neat? q How does the school communicate with students and parents (weekly/ monthly newsletter, e-mail, Web site)? q Do the students appear to be courteous, happy and disciplined? q Is there a welcoming attitude toward all parents?

Principal q What is the principal’s philosophy about education? q What is the principal’s attitude toward discipline? q Is the principal usually at the school and available to talk to parents? q How does the principal respond to parental concerns/complaints? q According to the principal, what are the school’s strengths? Where can the school improve?

Teachers q How do teachers grade student work? q How do teachers inform students of their expectations? q When and how frequently are teachers available for parent conferences? q Are the teachers highly qualified to teach in their subject areas?

Parent and Community Involvement q How does the school encourage parental involvement? q What are the ways parents can get involved?

Reputation q How is the school regarded in the community? q How is the school viewed by other parents?

Once you select the school you think will be best for your child, begin applying to the school of your choice and enrolling your child.

Consider applying to more than one school, in case your child is not admitted to their first choice. You will want to begin this process as early as possible in order to ensure you meet all the deadlines.✲ For more information and help with choosing a school, visit http://www2.ed.gov/parents/schools/find/choose/choosing.pdf

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moms R womem 2

The Myth of Work/Life Balance: Six Ways to Rethink Your Approach to the Daily Grind

n a perfect world, “work” and “home” would balance out neatly. We would work from 8 to 5 each day, take an hourlong lunch, and then come home and spend uninterrupted time with our families.

But for those of us here in the wake of the Great Recession, firmly entrenched in an “always on” society, this notion seems hopelessly outdated. Most of us are working longer, more stressful hours, and work is spilling over into evenings and weekends. No wonder a recent survey of North American employees found that 87 percent of respondents say their work/life balance (or lack thereof) is negatively affecting their health!

“Work/life balance, at least in the sense that most of us think about it, is a myth,” says Jon Gordon, whose new book is The Seed: Finding Purpose and Happiness in Life and Work. “It does not exist. For many people, it never has. Personally, I have never been able to balance the scales of work and life on a day-to-day basis. Rather, I’ve come to realize that the dance between work and life is more about rhythm than balance.”

“For me and for most people, there are seasons when hard work and extra hours are a necessity, and seasons when there is more time for rest,” he explains. “And guess what? It’s okay. When you love what you do—and I truly believe there is meaning and even joy to be found in every job—you will thrive during the busy seasons and fully appreciate the down time.”

1.

2.

3.

I

Look at your work/life blend over the past year. Consider

it as a whole. Rather than thinking of your work and life day to day, think of it as a whole. How many times did you get away with your family last year? Were there particular weeks/months where you worked really, really long hours? Were there times you were less busy? You might find that, when viewed that way, you did have a balanced life. Or you might realize you need to make a change in the way you do things during the upcoming year.

Identify the “seasons” in your company’s work flow. In nature there’s a season for everything. Spring (planting season) and fall (harvest) are times of extreme work. But there’s a slow down in the summer when plants are growing, and, of course, winter is when farmers do other things (repair work on house and equipment, etc).

Most industries/companies work this way, too. They have busy seasons (when they are getting ready for major industry events or peak sales times, for instance) and not-so-busy seasons. It might be easy for you to plan your work/home life flow around these times.

Not just in terms of when you plan vacations, but also in terms of daily work hours. During the slow time, it’s okay to leave a little earlier each day if you know you are going to be working long hours once the busy season arrives.

Keep in mind your family’s “seasons” too. Of course, you cannot base everything on work schedules. There are times your family needs you more than others: birth of a new baby, when a child starts school or when an older parent is having a crisis and needs you to care for him/her.

10 | February 2012

4.

Build up a “hard work” bank account with your company. When the company needs you to really push, push hard. (And

do it cheerfully.) This way, when you need to slow down the pace or take time off, they will be willing to work with you.

5.

When you are at work, really engage. Fully commit to whatever you are doing at work. Do not complain—positivity goes a long way. And do not feel guilty that you are not at home. Feeling guilty is a recipe for misery and poor performance on the job and unhappiness at home. Commit fully to your season of hard work while planning for your season of rest and recharging.

6.

When you are at home, really BE at home. Throw yourself into those precious family relationships. Do not spend family time thinking about work or zoning out in front of the TV or computer.

“What I’m really talking about is making the most of your time however you spend it—of making each and every moment really count,” says Gordon. “Understanding your rhythms and planning and committing to the seasons of your life may not help you achieve perfect work/life balance. But you will create a life that is more passionate, more productive and happier in every way.”✲ Jon Gordon is a consultant, keynote speaker, and the international bestselling author of The Seed, Soup, The Energy Bus, The No Complaining Rule, Training Camp, and The Shark and the Goldfish. He and his books have been featured on CNN and on NBC’s Today show, as well as in Forbes, Fast Company, O, The Oprah Magazine, the Wall Street Journal, and the New York Times. For more information, please visit www.JonGordon.com.

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February 2012 | 11

business spotlight

Maintaining Healthy Teeth and Gums

By Dr. Septimiu Pastiu

T

o maintain healthy teeth and gums, dentists recommend getting a check-up and cleaning every six months – or every three months for periodontal maintenance. But with the current economic downturn, many families are not able to properly care for their teeth. Job loss is often followed by dental and health insurance loss. Dental care eventually gets put on the “back burner.”

The mouth is the first entry into the body. Think about all the functions the mouth has: we speak, Dr. Septimiu Pastiu eat, drink and breathe through our mouths. Proper care is very important!

Proper care is easy with just five minutes a day and regular visits with the dentist.

4 Brush your teeth twice a day; after breakfast and dinner.

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4 If you have several fillings, use Fluoridex from Discus Dental as a toothpaste. Rinse at night with ACT before you go to bed for one minute. ACT is a fluoridated mouth rinse that prevents cavities.

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• Helps kids struggling with school work to get to grade level and beyond through systematic learning and building confidence.

• Provides additional enrichment to students needing additional academic challenge.

• Customize the program to meet the needs for all our students and families.

• Assigned work limited to 20-30 minutes a day to assist in maximizing learning.

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he world-renowned Kumon after school program is highly regarded for helping students of every age enrich their math, reading and learning skills. Now, a new center in Moorestown, is receiving very high marks as well for the passion and experience of its owners and team.

Dr. Jasleen Sobti comes from a family of educators and opened the new Moorestown Kumon three months ago with her husband, followDr. Jasleen Sobti ing a storied career in the Navy as a civilian research engineer, and years of teaching and tutoring.

Their new Kumon program quickly became known for its positive and caring learning environment, staffed by highly trained and energetic educators who teach through encouragement and positive reinforcement.

“I wanted to open a center because I believe in the Kumon program,” says Sobti. “Kumon instills a sense of confidence in students.

We’ve seen it firsthand, as we watched how our children have responded so wonderfully since we enrolled them three years ago.”

Kumon is designed to help students perform at or above their potential and is beneficial for everyone from pre-kindergarten children to high school students.

business spotlight

Kumon Center Moorestown By David Thompson Offers Math and Reading Enrichment

The result says Sobti, is that “school starts to come easier for students; they become independent, happier students who embrace the quality of learning and the learning process.”

Sobti was very careful in building her Moorestown team to reflect and share her passion for education and teaching.

“We have instructors in our center who hold a Ph.D. and we have two very qualified and caring assistants from the Moorestown and Haddonfield school districts who hold teaching credentials. In addition, we have a great support staff of high school kids helping with the operations who have all done Kumon.

Overall, she says, it has become an exciting learning environment and wonderful team that enables her to offer a very high level of instruction and support for students and parents.

Sobti invites parents looking for help with children to visit the center, meet her and the assistants, and see the program in action.

“They will gain confidence in our center and feel the passion we have for teaching and helping their children succeed.”✲ Located in Moorestown Commons, across from Wegmans and Target on Route 38, the center is open Monday and Thursday from 4 to 7:30 p.m., and will soon add additional days to accommodate parents’ schedules and handle the growing enrollment. For more information, email Sobti at jaleensobti@ikumon.com.

“The reason Kumon students succeed is because schools today have a difficult job reaching each child individually,” explains Sobti.

“Parents often call us and say their children are either struggling in the school and are not able to keep up with the pace or are not being challenged enough or not doing enough homework.”

Geared to improving math and reading skills, Kumon provides a customized and personalized approach for each student, building speed and accuracy skills and creating a solid foundation for all future education. www.southjerseymom.com

February 2012 | 15

summer camp guide

SUMMER CAMP: LUXURY OR NECESSITY? Tips on Making Summer Camp Count

T

he costs associated with camp may seem daunting to many families, especially in today’s economic downturn. However, particularly for working parents, camp is not a luxury but an essential part of the summer.

With three months of time off from school ahead, do you envision your child lying on the couch in front of the TV all summer long? Do you have thoughts of your tween plugged into an iPod or on Facebook for three straight months?

Perhaps we should rethink summer.

Instead of viewing it as endless hours for parents to coordinate activities, view it as part of your child’s education plan. Summer programs offer your child an opportunity for learning new skills, preparing for independence and developing passions that may extend to future careers or life-long hobbies.

Tips on Trips and Camps offers the following suggestions to make tween programs and summer sleep away camps part or your child’s education plan.

If… …your child is an athlete, a sports specialty program can build those skills or you can consider a traveling sports trip or a program in sports management or broadcasting.

…your child loves the outdoors and has outgrown camp, then how about an outdoor adventure including rock-climbing, whitewater rafting and hiking. …your child loves the water, consider a sailing expedition or a marine biology program or working with dolphins or sea turtles.

If… …your child is inquisitive about other regions of the world, there are many language immersion or cultural exploration programs available. …your child has an interest in the performing arts, you can sign him or her up for a focused

program in acting, set design, dance, music or filmmaking. …your child wants to make a difference, consider a wide range of community service or leadership programs in the U.S. or abroad.

Summer camp and tween programs are wonderful opportunities for your child to have new experiences not found in a classroom. No matter what your budget or your interest there is a summer program to meet your family’s financial and educational needs. Make summer count!

Help is readily available to families picking a sleep away camp that matches their child’s interests and needs. A handful of companies exist that provide free consulting and advisory services to any family that knows to call them. The service is without charge, and families incur no obligation of any kind when they request guidance or information. Camp advisors are often an unknown parental resource spread by word-of-mouth among families already “in the know.”✲ Tips on Trips and Camps is one of the oldest and largest camp advisory services. Established in 1971, “Tips” has advisors in 16 cities, relationships with over 600 sleep away camps and programs, and each year provides advice and guidance to thousands of families. The service is provided by phone, email and online, which makes it available to anyone virtually anywhere. For more information visit www.TipsonTripsandCamps.com.

LIBERTY LAKE SUMMER CAMP Teamwork, Independence, Integrity, Looking to the Future and Building Friendships – These are the core values of Liberty Lake Day Camp. Rt. 295, Exit 52A- for the Best Summer Every Summer! (609) 499-7820, andy@libertylakedaycamp.com, www.LibertyLakeDayCamp.com.

CHRISTIAN PLAYCARE CENTER SUMMER CAMP Ages 6-12 are invited to enjoy our large indoor/outdoor facility which offers weekly themed crafts and activities, weekly trips and a large outdoor pool with a certified lifeguard. Mention this add for FREE registration! Call Today! (856) 227-5596. 1737 Cooper Street, Deptford.

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February 2012 | 17

business spotlight

First Financial Group

Helps Parents Plan for Education Costs

By David Thompson

W

hen parents begin to plan for their child’s higher education or life insurance, it’s a process that can be confusing, time consuming and often difficult to undertake, especially in today’s economic climate.

“People have a tendency to ignore what they feel uncomfortable about,” says Joseph Tortis, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™, “and parents often feel the task of saving for their kids’ education is a daunting task, so they delay or ignore it.”

“The sooner you start, the less painful it will be,” says Tortis, of First Financial Group in Turnersville (www.financialguide.com/Joseph-Tortis).

“Whether it’s ways to save for children’s education or protecting your family with life insurance, we help clients identify their goals and make sound, efficient decisions about their financial future.”

First Financial Group is a full-service agency that creates insurance and money management strategies that allow people to protect and provide a financial future for their families. First Financial’s professional staff has many years of combined experience in financial and retirement services, estate planning, annuities, charitable giving, business insurance, executive compensation and employee benefits.

“Achieving financial freedom in today’s complex and constantly changing world can be difficult, to say the least,” says Tortis. “But it’s certainly possible, and we begin with a thorough audit of a family’s present financial situation – including current insurances to make sure they are sufficient and reflect future needs. Then we take time to get a clear understanding of their personal, family and business goals.

“We’ve seen many scenarios where people are overpaying for insurances and don’t realize it,” says Tortis. “We can identify insufficiencies and ways to save that can then help fund education accounts, for example.”

First Financial team recommends a customized financial solution for each client based on needs, past experiences and time frame. One area in which Tortis says a customized approach is particularly important is for parents over 40 with children.

“Education saving accounts for parents who had children after age 40 may not be the right solution,” Tortis cautions. “This growing demographic has more opportunities in regards to education planning. They often have more

18 | February 2012

resources to fund education accounts. Using retirement accounts, Roth IRAs, and cash value of life insurance could be an alternative that helps them escape financial aid calculations.”

Protecting your family with the right blend of life insurance is another area Tortis says people often misunderstand or neglect.

“Early in their adult lives, some people spend good money on insurance, buy it and forget about it without re-evaluating it as their lives change to ensure they’re properly protected,” he observes. “Making sure their family is protected by the right blend of insurance is as important as saving for education and retirement.”

Helping clients understand the many factors that play into financial planning, such as risk tolerance and flexibility, is the core of the thorough process that First Financial deploys, as it strives to develop long-term relationships and become a trusted, lifetime resource for each client.✲

® Joseph Tortis, CFP First Financial Group 856-270-7380 jtortis@financialguide.com www.massmutual.com

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February 2012 | 19

know 2 grow

Can You Survive a Preteen Sleepover?

How to keep your sanity and help kids have fun

By Laura Amann

C

hances are by the time your child is 11 or 12, sleepovers have become a semiregular weekend activity, not a special once-a-year, birthday event. But drama runs high at this age so if your house has become the “fun” house, stock some extra pillows and blankets and grab some Tylenol. We have got some tested tips about how you can pace the evening, supervise the activities and – dare to dream – get some sleep at night.

Tours and Rules To stave off some issues easily, give a quick tour of the house and lay out the ground rules early. Let them know the “be asleep by” time and then remind them throughout the night.

Make sure everyone knows where to find the bathrooms.

Dr. Fran Walfish, child and family psychotherapist and author of The Self-Aware Parent, recommends telling the kids upfront that no one is to be excluded and no secrets.

“You cannot risk having kids come over to your house and have a hurtful experience,” she says.

20 | February 2012

Also, beware the spontaneous sleepover.

“My answer is always ‘no’ if they ask me after 8:30,” says Amy DeBoer, a mom of three. “I hate when they ask at 10:00 when they should be coming home.”

Technology “Sleepovers have always had the same issues: boys, homesickness, exclusion, mean party tricks and cliques,” says Walfish. “But with the advance of electronics that include cell phones and texting, the challenges have risen to climactic proportions.”

Cell phones and Facebook provide an easy portal for trouble. Texting can take on a sneaky and mean-spirited tone when kids text friends who are not included or post photos on their Facebook wall. If they must keep their phones, then periodically pop in inconspicuously and keep an ear to what is going on.

Boys vs. Girls Boys are more likely to spend their time on video games and electronics; girls are more likely to exclude others.

As for girls,Walfish recommends empowering your child to say something if the party turns mean-spirited. “There are so many things a parent cannot control,” she says. “We cannot protect children from letdowns and hurt. We can equip them with coping skills.” Those skills include phrases such as “You’re hurting my feelings,” or “I really don’t like it when you do that.”

As a host, remind the children they have “one shot only” to work things out. If another issue arises, they need to go home.

Activities It’s impossible to plan party games for every sleepover, particularly the spontaneous evenings. However, it helps to have a few tricks up your sleeve in case the going gets rough.

If the weather is nice and the kids are outside, set up a bonfire. Pull out the s’mores makings or find some Jiffy Pop popcorn. Take some funny group photos. Dredge up some games that require no special equipment: red rover, kick the can, ghosts in the graveyard. Just be sure to keep them on your property.

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If the party is inside, keep the makings for fun foods on hand: fondue, cupcakes, homemade pizza. Whip out a board game or get them playing charades. Sleepovers can be a great chance to use some of those craft projects that the kids get for birthdays.

Pranks Pranks are a time-honored ritual of the preteen sleepover. Some of them are silly (whipped cream on the face, painting boys’ nails with polish) but sometimes they end up causing hurt feelings and border on downright mean. No one wants their hand dipped in warm water or their face drawn on with permanent marker. Pranks involving photos are particularly dangerous in today’s permanent Internet age. This can be an age of rapid sexual curiosity and exploration.

Do not assume that crank calls are out of the question, even with today’s technology and caller ID, it’s still possible to make those annoying phone calls. “At about 1 a.m., I heard a bit of giggling in the basement along with a dial tone on speaker phone,” remembers Vince Lo Bianco, parent of two preteen daughters. “I discovered that the girls were prank calling our neighbor.

Mind you, we had just moved into the house a few months earlier.”

Bottom Line But for some, sleepovers just are not worth it.

Cathy O’Neill, parent to a 12-year-old boy and a 10-year-old girl, refuses to let her kids do them.

“I just don’t think anything good ever comes from a sleepover,” she states. “The best I can do is the ‘half sleepover,’ I let my son stay at someone’s house until 11:00 and then I pick him up. I just can’t do it!”

She’s not alone in feeling that way. Many parents are just not willing to deal with the aftermath of crabbiness and exhaustion that usually follows a sleepover nor are they willing to face the potential pitfalls of preteen drama.

But others disagree and see sleepovers as an unstructured social time. “Kids schedules have become so busy in recent years,” says Lo Bianco. “The number of activities they get involved in seems to rob children of their ability www.southjerseymom.com

to just hang out with friends. Sometimes, I hate to end the fun too soon and so often, it just turns into a sleepover.”

DeBoer agrees, “Sometimes they just need to bond with a couple of close buddies. As they get older, they are better at learning the boundaries.”✲

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Seven tips for procrastinating kids Simple suggestions to increase productivity and reduce nagging!

By Michele Ranard, M.Ed.

f you live with a tween, it’s likely you have a procrastinator under the roof and an equally likely chance you are now an expert at nagging.

I

A Nasty Habit Procrastination may be as much a part of our humanness as eating and sleeping, but adolescent kids seem especially vulnerable. In The Procrastinating Child: A Handbook for Adults to Help Children Stop Putting Things Off, Rita Emmett explains procrastination is simply a bad habit we can correct. We fall prey to the behavior when we feel overwhelmed, become distracted or feel helpless.

Here’s the rub about their procrastinating and our nagging—are we actually practicing what we preach? Or are we guilty of putting off housework, bill paying and turning in the report before deadline?

Perfectionism: Procrastination’s BFF Your child may seem lazy when she is actually overwhelmed. Sometimes the feeling is a result of perfectionism as it goes hand in hand with procrastination. If your child is fearful of failing an exam or a particular task, such anxiety may cause her to stall. She may feel stuck and unable to become mentally mobilized. The bad habit may continue into adulthood, jeopardizing future successes.

A consistent fear of failure can lead to a pattern of indecisive behavior author Neil Fiore notes as a warning sign in The Now Habit.

He also identifies low self-esteem and lack of assertiveness as red flags for procrastinating behavior.

TIPS FOR INCREASED PRODUCTIVITY 1. Trick your brain.

There is hope. To combat the tendency to put things off, Fiore suggests transforming the thought “I don’t want to” into “I wonder what will come?” Sounds simple, but the attitude adjustment is powerful. In a sense, that subtle shift tricks the brain into a more productive mode.

2. Get comfy with mistakes.

Help your child understand how perfectionism stops him from greater productivity. Kids need to learn it’s OK to make mistakes. Explain that “not perfect” is altogether different than “fail.”

Plus, a certain comfort level with failure is necessary.

3. Model a healthy response to errors.

One of the best ways to get more comfortable about accepting mistakes is through modeling.

Seeing parents acknowledge their own daily errors (and responding with humor and compassion for the missteps) is both a gift and permission for your tween to go for it.

4. Think smaller chunks.

Emmett recommends helping children break overwhelming tasks into smaller chunks. If your child has an upcoming test and simply cannot get the gears in motion, help her get organized. Look at the task of test preparation as a series of baby steps. Help her make a short list for a plan of attack, such as reread two chapters of the text Monday, study notes Tuesday and Wednesday, and cover vocabulary on Thursday.

5. Set expectations for homework completion.

Parents can influence their tween’s productivity by setting firm rules at home, offering rewards and making lists. Do not put off making these rules. The basic rule of “no TV until your homework is done” is an obvious place to begin to curb the procrastination. Screen time may be suspended or offered as rewards for successful time management.

6. Make lists like a bandit.

Make lists for everything so there can be no excuses. Tweens are especially prone to selective memory even when rules are clearly articulated. Notes are more effective than nagging for gentle reminders of chores, appointments and expectations.

7. Remove the STING from feeling overwhelmed.

A great strategy from Emmett’s book: *Select one task you’ve been putting off. *Time yourself and take one hour to accomplish the task. *Ignore everything around you, such as the phone and other tasks. *No breaks. One hour is realistic for a middle school student. *Give yourself a reward once the task is complete.

The tween years are an optimal time to help the ones you love most shed bad habits that could trip them up later. It may only take a few months to see positive results and begin celebrating your more productive child.✲

Michele Ranard is the queen mother of two princes of procrastination. She has a master’s in counseling, a freelance writing career and blogs at cheekychicmama. blogspot.com and hellolovelyinc.blogspot.com.

www.southjerseymom.com

February 2012 | 23

recipe corner

Make a Yummy Treat for Loved Ones on Valentine’s Day

By Lisa Ann Panzino DiNunzio

V

alentine’s Day is such a fun and “sweet” time of year, it gives us a chance to show our love to the special people in our lives in creative and inspired ways. Cards, flowers and candy are all nice gifts, but there’s just something a little sweeter about making a yummy treat for your loved ones using the world’s greatest ingredient….LOVE!

Valentine’s Day Smoothie 1/4 cup milk, rice or almond milk 2 tbs. chocolate syrup 1 large banana, peeled and sliced 1 cup low fat frozen chocolate yogurt 1/2 cup ice cubes Whipped cream, for garnish 1 store bought chocolate candy heart, unwrapped, for garnish 1 Hershey kiss, unwrapped, for garnish Place milk, chocolate syrup, banana, frozen yogurt and ice cubes into a blender. Mix on low speed until blended; stopping blender if needed to push ingredients down with a spatula or wooden spoon. Continue mixing, gradually increasing the speed until the mixture is completely smooth. If needed, add a little extra milk.

Pour smoothie into glasses and garnish each by placing a little whipped cream on top, then place a chocolate heart and Hershey’s kiss on the whipped cream. Serves 2-3.

Jam-Filled Muffins 1 3/4 cup unbleached all-purpose flour 1/2 cup raw or granulated sugar 1 tbs. non-aluminum baking powder 1/2 tsp. sea salt 2 eggs 2/3 cup milk, rice or almond milk 1/3 cup butter, melted 1 tsp. grated lemon peel Seedless raspberry or strawberry jam

1 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour 1/4 tsp. sea salt 2 sticks butter, melted 5 oz. unsweetened chocolate, coarsely chopped 1 1/2 cups raw or granulated sugar 4 eggs 1 1/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 400°. In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. In a small bowl, lightly beat eggs, milk, butter and grated lemon peel. Pour wet mixture into the dry ingredients and stir just until moistened. Spoon half of the batter into 12 greased or paper-lined muffin cups. Make a small well in the center of each muffin and add 1 teaspoon of jam. Spoon remaining batter over the jam. Sprinkle with a little additional sugar if desired, and bake for 20-25 minutes or until light golden brown.

Note: Rumford aluminum free baking powder can be found in most grocery stores.

Preheat oven to 350º. Grease a 13 x 9 in. oblong cake pan with non-stick cooking spray. In a small bowl, combine flour and salt, set aside. On stovetop over medium heat, melt butter and unsweetened baking chocolate in a saucepan until melted, then stir in sugar, remove sauce pan from heat and add eggs and vanilla; mix well. Stir the flour mixture into the wet ingredients and mix just until combined. Spread batter into prepared pan and bake for 25-30 minutes or until toothpick inserted into center comes out clean. Cool brownies completely in pan, then cut into heart shapes with a cookie cutter. You can sprinkle brownies with a little powdered sugar or cocoa powder if desired.

Heart Shaped Brownies

Lisa is the author of the cookbooks “Seasoned With Love, Treasured Recipes” & “Lisa Ann’s Seasoned With Love II”, and author of the children’s book “Snicker Learns an Important Lesson.” For more recipes, visit her “Let’s Get Cookin’!” Blog at http://lisaanndinunzio.blogspot.com/ or follow her Facebook Food & Recipe page at http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001935347501.

24 | February 2012

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February 2012 | 25

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GET UP AND DANCE Get Up and Dance is a new dancing game featuring top musical talents like Gwen Stefani, Katy Perry and Elton John. Families and friends can boogie together thanks to a cooperative “Group Mode” that lets up to four players dance at the same time to specially choreographed routines. For PlayStation 3 and Nintendo Wii. $29.99, available where games are sold inTunes HEADPHONES Each pair of fuse InTune headphones are designed to play fully-optimized music for one of four different genres. Try the Rap/Hip Hop InTune for extra bass.

Do guitar solos really get you pumped up during your workout? Plug in the Rock/Blues/Country InTune. Other genres available include Jazz/Classical and Pop/Easy Listening. If you have eclectic taste, no matter what pair you grab, InTune headphones will still heighten the quality of sound for any genre. $24.99, www.fuseplusyou.com WESTERN CHIEF RAIN GEAR Western Chief Kids is the industry-leading designer of children’s rain gear. They offer a wide range of colors, patterns and styles in their rain boots, umbrellas and rain coats. Choose from Hello Kitty, Thomas the Tank Engine, Batman or Superman as well as ladybug, frog and firefighter. Child sizes 5-13 and youth sizes 1-4; rain coat sizes from 2T to 6/6x. $13.95 and up, www.westernchief.com CAKE MATERNITY LINGERIE Cake Lingerie is sophisticated maternity and nursing lingerie. Cake delivers beautiful lingerie that intertwines sensual comfort & a secure fit with much needed style and polish. They believe pregnancy is part of the slice of life and it should be

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just born

Looking for the latest gadgets, toys, books or family related products? Look no further! Each month, we highlight the latest and greatest just for you. Take a look at these “just born” products and add them to your list of must haves!

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ARCTIC ZERO ICE CREAM You CAN have your ice cream and eat the whole pint! What? Yes! At just 150 calories per pint, Arctic Zero ice cream is gluten-free, fat-free, all-natural and high in fiber, and provides a healthy option! 14 grams of whey protein. Flavors include Chocolate, Chocolate Peanut Butter, Coffee, Cookies & Cream, Mint Chocolate Cookie, and Strawberry Banana. 85 calorie bars are also available in Chocolate, Vanilla, Strawberry, and Orange Dream. Whole Foods and www.myarcticzero.com

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LeapFrog: Numberland Take a magical mathematical journey and Scout — along with his friends Violet, Eli, Penny and Axle — will introduce early numeracy skills as he helps set up a surprise birthday party in the enchanted Number Land. $14.98, where videos are sold.

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Picnic On A Cloud In Lu Hanessian’s book Picnic on a Cloud, an otherwise ordinary moment between a boy and his mother becomes a window to their magical adventure. Through the power of curiosity and inspiration, Ben follows his own sense of wonder as he and his mom discover the heart of connection. Together, they co-create their own kind of “mission impossible” under their own roof – sparked by a wish, a question, and plenty of Imagination Fuel. www.picniconacloud.com, $11.95

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February 2012 | 27

28 | February 2012

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things 2 do

February Calendar

For a complete list of events, log onto www.southjerseymom.com

To submit your event, send an email to calendar@southjerseymom.com.

Entries are due six weeks prior to the event and are filled on a first come first serve basis. Space is limited.

ATLANTIC COUNTY National Pancake Day February 28, all day long IHOP’s 7th annual National Pancake Day will give each guest a free short stack of buttermilk pancakes in the hope that they donate what they would have paid, or more, to Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals and other local charities. This year, they aim to raise $2.7 million for charity, the most ambitious goal to-date. To learn more, find a local IHOP or donate online, visit www.ihoppancakeday.com.

Atlantic City Boat Show February 1-5 Atlantic City Convention Center goes nautical with hundreds of boats and accessories for sale, plus hands-on education and non-stop family fun. Visitors can climb aboard hundreds of boats for every budget and lifestyle.

Experienced boaters will learn tricks of the trade through demonstrations, hands-on clinics, and free boating advice.

Other special show features include SAILFEST; the DEMA Be a Diver Pool, where visitors submerge themselves into Scuba diving in a tropically warm pool and more. Atlantic City Convention Center, One Miss America Way, Atlantic City. $14/adult; FREE for children 15 and under (when accompanied by an adult). www.acboatshow.com Not For Chocolate Lovers Only!”

February 5 from 12 to 4 p.m.

Newfield Public Library’s annual celebration is just $5 per person.

Belly up to the Chocolate Buffet loaded with home baked goodies, ice cream, toppings, etc. Once you have satisfied you sweet tooth, check out our Valentine www.southjerseymom.com

Store for gift packages of homemade chocolates. (856) 697-0415.

BURLINGTON COUNTY Masquerade Party: Who’s Who in Black History?

February 25 at 4 p.m.

Dress up as your favorite hero.

Free admission. All are welcome.

Friends Academy of Westampton. For details, contact michele@luminationsgroup.com.

Moorestown’s Soup for the Soul Feb 25 from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Soup for the Soul is an annual charity event that raises money for the Food Bank of South Jersey.

This fully student-run event encompasses a buffet style meal with all-you-can-eat soup and bread donated by local restaurants. First Presbyterian Church, Moorestown. For info, contact katiedee@comcast.net.

CAMDEN COUNTY

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Planning for the Needs of Adults with Autism Feb 15 from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.

This workshop will focus on the social, emotional, clinical, medical, vocational and financial needs of the rapidly expanding population of adults with autism spectrum disorders. Discussions include the needs for ongoing support in community and residential settings, adult day services, supported employment and the right of decision-making for families and individuals.

Farrington building on Bancroft’s Haddonfield Campus, 425 Kings Highway East, Haddonfield. For more information call Pat Reid at (800) 774-5516 or email preid@bnh.org.

CAPE MAY COUNTY Winery Tours February 4, 11 & 25 at 3 p.m.

Tours of Cape May Winery run approximately an hour and a half

and include a tour of the facility and vineyard. Tours include a wine tasting, with a taste right out of an oak barrel, fruit & cheese tray to enjoy as well as a souvenir wine glass. $20/person.

Reservations recommended.

(609) 884-1169. Cape May Winery, 711 Townbank, North Cape May.

CUMBERLAND COUNTY Mid-Winter Antiques Show Feb 4 & 5 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Indoor show featuring memorabilia, toys, books, postcards, furniture, jewelry, linens, paper, primitives, pottery, and glass.

Free parking. Wheaton Arts and Cultural Center, 1100 Village Dr, Millville. $5/person. 1-800998-4552, www.wheatonarts.org.

Interested dealers call Doris Abeling at (856) 825-6800, ext. 104 or dabeling@wheatonarts.org.

Evening of Comedy with Dom Irrera February 11 at 8 p.m.

The Landis Theater is proud to welcome back South Philadelphia native DOM IRRERA for an evening of comedy. Purchase tix at www.LandisTheater.com, at Box Office, 830 East Landis Ave, or at (856) 691-1121.

GLOUCESTER COUNTY Natural Family Planning Course February 2 from 7 to 9:30 p.m.

Fertility awareness with Natural Family recognizes a woman’s fertility signs that can be used to plan or postpone pregnancy

effectively and with no unhealthy side effects. It’s also a “green” way of planning your family. Natural Family Planning courses are a series of three classes spaced about one month apart. $135 plus shipping, includes all of the materials. Our Lady of Hope Parish, 701 Little Gloucester Rd, Blackwood.

Register at www.ccli.org.

(856) 753-1906 Wizard of Oz February 16-18 Follow Dorothy on her adventure from Kansas through the World of Oz. During her trip down the Yellow Brick Road, she meets wonderful friends (a Scarecrow, a Tinman and a Cowardly Lion) who join her on her journey.

Watch as this famous foursome battles the Wicked Witch of the West and visits the Wizard in this all-time family favorite. Broadway Theatre of Pitman, 43 S. Broadway, Pitman. (856) 384-8381, www.thebroadwaytheatre.org.

SALEM COUNTY A Year with Frog and Toad February 11 from 2-3 p.m.

Follow two great friends, the cheerful and popular Frog and the rather grumpy Toad, through the seasons as they plant gardens, swim, rake leaves and go sledding in this musical version of the popular tale. Neighboring squirrels, birds, moles and even a snail-with-the-mail all help to make this theatrical adventure a treat for all the family! (Best suited ages 3 and up). Appel Farm Arts and Music Center, 457 Shirley Rd, Elmer. www.appelfarm.org

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resource guide

EVENTS CATCH THE WAVE! Join us for Soul Surfer movie on February 4th at 6 p.m.

Sermon Series – Small Groups. Gain life perspective and perseverance in the face of adversity. Memorial Presbyterian Church, Wenonah. Learn more at www.wenonahpc.org or (856) 468-5121.

GIFT IDEAS

GREAT PERSONALIZED GIFTS FOR ALL AGES At JUST FOR LITTLE PEOPLE (and others, too!) we specialize in new baby gifts both hand-painted or embroidered. Beautifully wrapped and available for pick-up at our new Gibbsboro location, or we can ship it for you. Call (856) 627-8901 or check out www.justforlittlepeople.com.

JOB OPPORTUNITIES EARN EXTRA INCOME ON YOUR SCHEDULE Are you a DRIVEN, MOTIVATED FEMALE who wants to earn extra income on your schedule? No selling, stocking or delivering products.

National Health & Wellness Company with 26 yrs of proven success.

Call Adrienne at (856) 305-3490 for more info.

PARTIES BONBON’S PARTIES IS OFFERING $10 OFF TO SJ MOM READERS! Face Painting * Balloon Art * Glitter Tattoos. For Older Children: Balloon University or Face Painting College. Characters * Super Heroes * Princesses. For availability call (856) 701-8734 or visit www.bonbonsparties.com.

PHOTOGRAPHY MOORE CREATIVE PHOTOGRAPHY This Valentine’s Day give him the gift that only you can give. A very romantic portrait of you. Glamour and Boudoir – Maternity and Newborn – Family and Children. “Fine portraits today because things change.” moorecreativephotography.com, (856) 415-1000.

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SAVE THE DATE! South Jersey MOM Family Fitness & Health Expo

June 9, 2012 Deptford Mall

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Full training provided.

30 | February 2012

Sponsors and vendors reserve your space now!

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