May 2010 - South Jersey Mom Magazine

May

2010

10 LOVELY

MEMORIES TO MAKE ON

MOTHER’S DAY simple memories you will treasure forever

7

FUN WAYS

POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION

TO GET YOUR CHILD TO

LISTEN

HELP is out there for women in South Jersey

find a great summer camp for your child, pg. 32

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2 | May 2010

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Table of Contents pg. 18 Perinatal Mood Disorders mom 2 mom 8 Helping Your Child Deal with Anger 10 Chores for Children 11 10 Lovely Memories to Make with Mom

moms R women 2 12 Give Me a Mental Break 14 Calcium and Bone Health

know 2 grow 22 Food Allergy Basics 24 Teach Your Child to Be a Good Person 25 Seven Fun Ways to Get Your Child to Listen

features 26 Is Foster Parenting for You? 32 Summer Camp Guide

also in this issue 3 5 6 15 16 23 28 31 29 40 41 42

publisher’s note nana’s 2 sense life sentences business spotlight: bayada nurses just born ask the addvisor business spotlight: thorough professional cleaning learning 2 learn green mama book review things 2 do resource guide

www.southjerseymom.com

publisher’s note

May 2010

Dear Readers, ay is such a special month for me, as many of you know.

Kayden and I share a birthday on May 12th and, of course, Mother’s Day is always a special day. But with every May also comes the reminder of the severe postpartum depression I suffered. Although I have become more outspoken about my experience over the years, I still don’t think my family and friends know just how bad it really was.

Kayden was born three weeks early after a tremendously traumatic delivery.

He was rushed to the NICU due to a heart condition that became evident immediately after he was born. Three days after losing more than half the blood in my body, I was finally given a blood transfusion.

Kayden spent five days in the NICU before being sent home on a heart monitor and serious cardiac medications.

For a new mother, this was overwhelming. I was so excited about being pregnant and becoming a mother, but almost immediately after giving birth, I found myself questioning why I had ever wanted to be a mom. This was what I was so excited about?! This was NOT what I expected motherhood to be like.

Kayden wasn’t sleeping well and neither was I. He soon developed acid reflux and would vomit after every bottle. Not just the normal spit up, he would bring up ALL of his bottle. I would be covered, he would be covered... and then he would just cry and cry... and so did I. Shortly after, he was diagnosed with colic. Neither of us was sleeping for more than 45 minutes at a time. My milk wasn’t flowing, so I was unable to breastfeed like I wanted. My marriage was becoming unstable. I started to have thoughts of suicide. I started to have visions of hurting Kayden. I couldn’t take much more of the crying, from Kayden or myself. I desperately wanted it all to end.

Part of postpartum depression that most people don’t understand is the unconscious denial. I honestly didn’t think there was anything wrong with me. I blamed everything that was going wrong

M

on the baby and my husband. If he would just do this, or do that, everything would be fine. It was actually he that reached out for help. He called my doctor and told her something just wasn’t right with his wife.

With the denial comes shame. I was ashamed that I felt this way about being a mom. I felt like something was wrong with me; why couldn’t I handle this? I had been a medic in the Air Force, survived basic training, etc. I was strong, right? I could handle this. All my friends had babies before me and they didn’t have any problems. So why couldn’t I get it together?

Although I originally refused the medication my doctor recommended, I secretly began taking it. Over time, things got better. I didn’t feel like a failure anymore. Nine months after Kayden was born, I fell in love with him...I enjoyed being a mom. We finally bonded.

I will never get those nine months back. But some moms lose much more time than that, silently suffering with postpartum depression. I started this magazine when Kayden was just 10 months old. I was on a mission, and still am, to help support moms through their struggles and, most importantly, let them know they are NOT alone.

If you are suffering in silence, or someone you know may be, give them a copy of South Jersey MOM. Tell them to read pages 18-21. The information in this issue might just save their life... and their baby’s.

Your Friend and Fellow MOM,

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May

MOM 2010

Publisher/Editor: Adrienne Richardson adrienne@southjerseymom.com Editorial Associate: Jeanette Giza jgiza@southjerseymom.com Advertising Inquiries: Orin Jespersen • 856.690.5565 orin@southjerseymom.com Dianne Holland • 856.278.6119 dianne@southjerseymom.com Elaine Petrosino-Roehm • 856.404.3127 elaine@southjerseymom.com

General Advertising Info: ads@southjerseymom.com Copy Editor: Gaily Von Schlichting Production Manager: Lisa Celfo lisa@southjerseymom.com Communications Manager: Esther Donnelly esther@southjerseymom.com Photographer: Lisa Ward Photography www.lisawardphotography.com Contributing Writers: Terri Akman, Rebekah Bailey, Mary Jo Codey, Mary Pat Correro, Angela De Groot, Jennifer Gregory, Kate Hogan, Linda Karanzalis, Fran LoBiondo, Renee Taylor Negin, Michele Ranard, Gwen Recinto, Kathryn Ross, Sheila Taney Submit Calendar Listing: calendar@southjerseymom.com Letters to the Editor: editor@southjerseymom.com For Any Other General Information: info@southjerseymom.com www.southjerseymom.com

Ramen Rubber Band F

irst, I would like to set the record straight.

I am not the family member who blurted out the “bad” word in front of my grandson so he could repeat it at church. I prefer to reserve my profanities for driving. Of course, I also always smile as I shout those profanities in response to the knucklehead who cuts me off. Smiling confuses the violator. They have no idea what I’m really saying. Now on to my latest Nana experience.

Being a grandparent takes on a new meaning with an adult grandchild in the house. Do I have the right to ask her to clean her room? Should I give her advice or voice my opinion? Is it reasonable to have rules/expectations?

The other day we were sitting at the computer and I picked up what I thought was a curled up rubber band. I realized when it crunched between my fingers that it was a dried up Ramen noodle. Was this a cooked noodle dried from days in the dust on the desk or simply an uncooked noodle that she was snacking on, desperate for the lack of chips in the house? How did it get on my keyboard? Well, we both laughed about it, but I did inquire how it got there. Is it reasonable to ask her not to eat at the computer, even though I eat at the computer? Is it any different when I spill something? Yes, it is.

AND I have to learn how to share again. She has all my stuff! It started with my lint roller. Then her Chi broke. I just

nana’s 2 sense

South Jersey

happened to buy a hair straightener for myself that very weekend; absconded. I’ve yet to use it or even see it since. Then my spare blow dryer she was using pooped out so I bought another one. Turns out she likes my blow dryer better than the new replacement spare.

She now has my blow dryer and I use the spare. I really don’t care. They work the same to me.

Now I love my children and my grandchildren and it is nice having her here. She is dramatic, but delightful, and keeping me up to date on the young world as it is today. I have to admit, though, it is tough to share when you have not had to for the last 12 years. God is surely preparing me for something that involves even greater giving.

—Nana Jean Nana Jean is a South Jersey grandmother with two daughters and six grandchildren. Enjoy her stories about her 38+ years as a mom and 19 years as a grandmother as she shares her experiences and lessons learned with lots of laughs and tears along the way.

South Jersey MOM is published monthly and distributed throughout the region. The publication is available free of charge at select locations. Subscriptions $24.99 per year.

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On the COVER

“Cutest Kid in Town” winner: Huoy and son, Dante, age 3, live in Greenwich, NJ. Huoy enjoys gardening and listening to music. Dante is bilingual and has spoken, Khmer, the primary language spoken in Cambodia, since he was 10 months old. The very first word he said in Khmer was THANK YOU. He enjoys playing soccer, traveling, swimming, listening to music, playing drums and riding his little John Deer Tractor around the house.

Dante is a terrific little helper to everyone. Photo by Lisa Ward Photography.

May 2010 | 5

life sentences

How Much Do I Want to Hear?

E

very time I attend a funeral – which is too often these days – I feel like the only difference between me and the guest of honor is a few years.

When I allow myself to think about it, I picture myself spending those years wearing a Metamucil moustache and shouting, “Are you talking to me?

Because if you are, I can’t hear you.�

There is evidence to support this view. Recently, I went to get my hearing checked because of hearing loss I assumed was sinus related. The diagnosis: permanent nerve damage, probably due to radiation therapy for cancer. I heard that loud and clear.

The news hit me hard. My younger brother recently died of a stroke. He, too, had radiation treatments for cancer thirty years ago, and its aftermath was physically devastating. In the beginning, his hearing went. Am I on that same path now? If I did not already have insomnia, it would keep me awake at night.

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My friend Deborah, over gyros at the Greek restaurant, reacted calmly. “My dad has hearing loss from his work. We’ll go out to dinner and he just eats in silence. I said to him, ‘Hey, Dad, are you catching any of this?’ He looked right at me and said, ‘I catch every word I want to. You, your mother and your sister – I don’t need to hear.’ �

In times of crisis, I appreciate the loved ones I have around me.

I went to my Christian meditation meeting and spent the whole time of silence furiously berating my maker for dropping this latest dirt sandwich on my plate. The women of the group gave me sympathy, hugs, thoughtful cards and promises to pray for me. I feel a little guilty; praying for me is getting to be a full-time job.

I was so bummed out that my husband suggested I call my mother. “She has a way of coming up with the right thing to say,� he reminded me.

That’s true. Mom lives in such great faith, people often call her “Mother Therese.� She can come up with calming Psalms for times of great terror. But now she is 85 and, sometimes, I do not have the heart to give her more bad news about my health. Does she have the energy left to talk

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me down from the ledge once again?

Would her God give her the right words? “Aw, shit, Honey,� she said when I told her. “Yes,� I agreed.

By Fran LoBiondo It’s for situations like this that those words were invented.

My Aunt Peggy also listened sympathetically. Then she said, “Well, enough already from you.� “Exactly,� I said. “I have to tell you that I don’t have much patience with the hearingimpaired,� said Aunt Peggy, who spends a lot of time at her local senior center. “We have a lot of them here, and they’ve formed a covey (small flock). I suspect they’re not really deaf; they just want to talk over everyone else.�

Then she told me that “we� have to find the best specialist we can find and, if I need to, I can pretend she’s already dead and let her pay for it. If it involves a road trip to California, she’ll ride shotgun. “You’re so young. You have to preserve your hearing, because, Franny, you have so much left to hear.�

True. I must tune in carefully now‌to my mother’s consolation, my children’s laughter, my love’s gentle words, the morning songs of birds. If that’s what I’m left with in the end, it will be enough.

Fran LoBiondo of Vineland has children in grade school, high school and college. A Purdue University graduate with a degree in Journalism, she has written about parenting, food and fun for 25 yrs.

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May 2010 | 7

mom 2 mom

helping your child deal with

r e g n A

By Terri Akman

Y

ou are at the food store and your child is shaking in the cart and screaming at the top of his or her lungs. The tantrum is now too far gone to finish your grocery shopping. Everyone is staring, you are hot and sweaty and you just want to disappear. Do not worry; you are not alone. While all kids get angry at times, some children seem to take their frustration to the outer limits.

“Some kids are temperamentally difficult and don’t cope that well,” says Richard Selznick, PhD, Director of the Cooper Learning Center and author of The Shut-Down Learner. “They tend to be more on the rigid side and are pretty inflexible. These kids don’t handle curve balls really well, so if you throw something at them that you haven’t given them reasonable time to sort out, you can expect them to react in a tantrum and have anger issues.”

How parents should deal with their child depends a great deal on the age and stage of the child. It’s very difficult to reason with a 3-year-old because he or she simply does not understand. In that case, you need to be really attentive to the cues.

“You have to be much more mindful

of [the child’s] tendencies,” Selznick explains. “Toddlers can be almost primitive in their reactions.”

With an 8-year-old, however, parents can speak sensibly and reason with the child. The trick is finding the right time to have that conversation. In the middle of the meltdown, or even shortly after, the child will still be too upset to have a reasonable conversation. Instead, wait until bedtime when you are both calm and you are tucking your child in. Talk about why he or she was so angry.

“At that point, the window is open more than any other time,” Dr. Selznick points out. “Find out from your child what [he/she is] upset about and offer your perspective. The possibility of learning can take place in that situation.”

Of course, it’s better if you can prevent the tantrum in the first place. Selznick encourages parents to continually monitor their child. As soon as signs of getting frustrated appear, try to redirect attention.

That might mean having a conversation about what is upsetting the child or taking a quick walk to calm things down. He does not believe in indulging the child by giving candy or buying something, as that simply

reinforces the bad behavior. In the worst case, the child will have a tantrum and eventually it will be over.

Most importantly, do not yell at your child. When you do, the child is screaming, you are screaming and the situation becomes out of control. “Parents utilize yelling as their number one tool,” explains Selznick. “I know it’s very hard, but I try to get parents to see it as bad weather. You might not like it, but it will pass. Yelling at it is only going to add fuel to the fire.”

Selznick reminds parents that you are not alone. In his experience, it’s the rare family who does not have at least one inflexible child.

Terri Akman is a freelance writer and preschool teacher at M’Kor Shalom in Cherry Hill. She has three children and lives in Voorhees. Check out her blog at www.preschoolteach.blogspot.com.

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May 2010 | 9

CHORES for Children

By Angela De Groot

Y

our home is not a sweatshop, but you can ask your little ones for some help with a few chores. Chores are not just about getting the job done; they also teach children life skills, responsibility, accountability and teamwork. Chores encourage independence and self-esteem by allowing a child to feel like a contributing member of the family.

When assigning chores, keep your child’s age, ability, attention span and enthusiasm in mind. If you are able to make chore-time fun with games and rewards, then the battle is half won. There is a wide range of chores that children of all ages can help with.

Ages 3-5: While preschoolers are usually eager to lend a helping hand, their developing motor skills may cause more work for you because they may need your assistance with completing the tasks.

Still, this is a good age to introduce chores and foster the spirit of working together as a family. A positive, playful attitude goes a long way to make chores less of a drag. At this age, a “high five” and a sticker are usually reward enough to maintain their enthusiasm for helping out.

Chores for 3-5 year olds: • Picking up and putting away their toys and books • Putting their dirty clothes in the hamper • Sorting clean laundry—matching up socks • Light dusting using a sock or mitten on their hand and a squirt water bottle • Collecting the mail from the mailbox Ages 6-8: Enthusiasm for chores begins to wane in school-aged children, but their desire for independence surges. Responsibilities around the house, homework and after school activities help your child learn organizational and time management skills.

Include your child in the decision making process of assigning chores to increase their interest and commitment.

While a weekly allowance may motivate and teach your child the value of money, it’s also

10 | May 2010

important that your child experiences the satisfaction and pride in a job well done.

Chores for 6-8 year olds: • Clipping coupons • Putting away groceries • Folding and putting away clean laundry • Setting and clearing the table at mealtimes • Making beds and tidying up • Raking leaves and light gardening • Setting out clothes for the next day • Feeding and walking the dog • Watering plants • Taking out the trash Ages 9-12: This age group is ready for increased responsibility.

This is a good age to develop your pre-teen’s work ethic, character and preparation for adult independence. Pre-teen schedules can become quite hectic, so make sure their chores are manageable from a time standpoint. This can also be an emotionally turbulent growth period, so be sure to keep communication lines open regarding responsibilities and performance.

Chores for 9-12 year olds: • Washing the car • Loading and unloading the dishwasher • Simple meal preparation • Shoveling snow • Making school lunches • Vacuuming and mopping floors Parents should not have to beg or battle with their children for help around the house.

Children should not feel entitled to a reward for contributing to the family workload. Establish a solid relationship with your child with a system of cooperation and communication, working together towards common family goals.

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10 Lovely Memories Simple memories you will treasure forever

ife is precious and full of wonder, but it moves fast. With so many day-to-day distractions, sometimes we need a reminder to slow down. Here are some heartfelt ideas for savoring the beauty of your momhood, their childhood and the special bond you share.

L

to make with mom

By Michele Ranard

up an indulgent snack together. Allow them to help 8 Whip make a decadently rich cookie dough from scratch, but forget the eggs and the baking. Eat the dough as dip for apple wedges and pretzels or mix into ice cream. While everyone gets sticky and gooey devouring it, document the smiles on film.

a dreary morning, do not get dressed. Spread a quilt over 1 On your bed and invite your crew to pile on for a long leisurely your child have a blast styling your hair. Supply them 9 Let breakfast. Do not answer the phone. Read something magical, with colorful clips, rollers, bobby pins and hair ties. When such as your favorite story from childhood. If they are able, let them read the story to you.

a long lovely soak in the tub with your infant.

2 Enjoy Memorize those irresistible creases and the luxurious softness of your baby’s skin. So much of parenthood is unglamorous and this is an intimate memory to lock up in your heart and return to when that precious soul begins sassing you as a ‘tween.

an impromptu fashion show. So many creative vari3 Request ations: towels only, toilet paper, pantyhose… my own chil-

your makeover is complete, go to the mirror and rave about your fabulous look. Pretend you love it and say you plan to wear it this way forever. Now let them apply the makeup. an evening you are not beyond exhausted, sneak into your 10On child’s room and watch them as they dream. Take in the beauty of those delicate eyelashes and precious tiny fingers.

Whisper a prayer of gratitude and ask for protection from all harm. Blow a quiet kiss to the one who holds your heart.

Michele Ranard has savored momhood for 18 wonderful years. She is a professional counselor, a freelance writer and mother of teens.

dren favored a “London-France” show for the catwalk. They layered on every pair of underwear in the house until they could barely waddle. Then they tied on a blanket cape and donned one last pair of undies as a hat. It never failed to make this mom’s cheeks ache.

a love note to your child. Make sure to date it and place 4 Write the note on their pillow. Even if they have reached an age where it borders on “uncool,” they will drift off to sleep knowing they are cherished. Later, steal back the note to safely store in a box.

your tastefully decorated living room and build the 5 Sacrifice ultimate fort, utilizing every blanket in the house. When complete, head inside to play “Don’t Break the Ice” and “Candy Land” a dozen times or more. They never tire of the classic games and you are their favorite player. Remember, the day will arrive when your kids will be too busy for you.

If you have teens or tweens, order pizza and watch their 6 favorite comedy or youTube video, even if it’s not your cup of tea. Do not forget there was a time you thought Pretty in Pink should win the Oscar. They will appreciate the gesture because they know it’s a little painful. You may even be rewarded with joyful expressions and laughter.

In your planner, pencil in a “celebrity photo shoot” every two 7 months.

Have your spouse or friend take a picture of just you

and your child and then change places. Go outside if possible to capture the season. You will have a wonderful treasury of smiles as you both grow up. No mom on the planet has ever felt she took too many photos.

www.southjerseymom.com

May 2010 | 11

moms R women 2

Give Me A “Mental” Break!

By Kate Hogan

“I

don’t wike dis bekfest! I wan a bownie,” your 3-year-old says with a smile.

Suddenly, your 10-year-old daughter comes tearing down the hall, yelling, “MOMMM! I need my pink shirt; EVERYONE is wearing them today.”

Enter your husband with a goodbye kiss as he says, “Oh, don’t forget I have a dinner meeting tonight at [insert some awesome restaurant that doesn’t have anything resembling chicken fingers on the menu], so I’ll be home late.” Finally, that charming 3-year-old has dropped a bag of cheese doodles all over the floor and the dog is lapping them up like she hasn’t been fed in a week – and you decide to let her continue, because at least someone is helping you clean up.

Remember that beautiful day, a seemingly few years ago, when you wore some fancy clothes and stood before family and friends and said “I Do”? Is this really what you had in mind? Well, probably not, but it’s what you got and, right now, it feels like your head might explode!

As mothers, we tend to put the needs of everyone else before our own and try to be all things to all people. We think we need to be the perfect mother, wife, sister, daughter and friend. But these unsustainable expectations can be exhausting and stressful and can lead to irritability, insomnia, poor dietary habits, even fits of crying. While these are typical symptoms of motherhood, they can also be indications of poor mental health.

Eventually, we all need a break. A week’s vacation to some exotic location would be fabulous. For most of us, that kind of break does not happen very often,

12 | May 2010

if ever. So think smaller, less expensive and, ideally, on a more regular basis. A daily nap, a weekly yoga class, even a monthly girls’ night out, can make a huge difference in your mental outlook.

The mental health benefits of exercise are widely touted. Physicians and other experts throw around technical terms like serotonin and endorphins, but the bottom line is that exercise makes you feel alive!

It may really hurt while you are doing it but, afterward, your blood is pumping, your brain is more active and you have more energy. Throw in a little interaction with other adults and it’s like you have a social life again!

If exercise is not your thing, there are many other ways to take a break. Ann Marie Sierra of Marlton, mother of three children, one who is autistic, likes to get out for some retail therapy. “To just leave the house and clear my head helps.

Unfortunately, that usually ends up costing me money, as I tend to shop.”

For a few of us, taking on more helps us feel better. Michelle Wolf of Cherry Hill, mother of four, started her own dance studio when her youngest child was just 2 years old. “Dancing has always been such a huge part of my life and I couldn’t wait to share it with my kids. Starting my own studio is a dream come true and it has meant some sacrifices along the way, but being able to share my passion with my family and friends makes me happy!”

Being a parent is an exhilarating and exhausting experience. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of everyone else. If you think you are experiencing more than you can handle, contact your physician or, at the very least, a friend and ask for help.

You May Need Help...

If you have at least two weeks duration of five or more of the following symptoms: • Depressed mood • Decreased enjoyment in pleasurable activities • Sleep disturbance (increased or decreased) • Appetite disturbance (increased or decreased) • Excessive or inappropriate guilt or feelings of worthlessness • Decreased energy • Concentration difficulties or indecisiveness • Change in your daily activity. You may feel slowed down, or sped up; increased to the point of feeling fidgety • Recurrent thoughts of death Signs and symptoms of a mental disorder can differ from person to person and can change over time. Generally, a mental illness is diagnosed only when signs and symptoms are persistent and bothersome.

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Calcium and Bone Health ones play many roles in the body. They provide structure, protect organs, anchor muscles and store calcium. Adequate calcium consumption and weight bearing physical activity builds strong bones, optimizes bone mass and may reduce the risk of osteoporosis later in life.

B

Peak Bone Mass Peak bone mass refers to the genetic potential for bone density. By the age of 20, the average woman has acquired most of her skeletal mass. A large decline in bone mass occurs in older adults, increasing the risk of osteoporosis. For women, this occurs around the time of menopause.

It’s important for young girls to reach their peak bone mass in order to maintain bone health throughout life. A person with high bone mass as a young adult will be more likely to have a higher bone mass later in life. Inadequate calcium consumption and physical activity early on could result in a failure to achieve peak bone mass in adulthood.

Osteoporosis Osteoporosis or “porous bone” is a disease of the skeletal system characterized by low bone mass and deterioration of bone tissue.

Osteoporosis leads to an increased risk of bone fractures, typically in the wrist, hip and spine.

While men and women of all ages and ethnicities can develop osteoporosis, some of the risk factors for osteoporosis are more prevalent in those who are: • Female • White/Caucasian • Post-menopausal • Older adults • Small in body size • Eating a diet low in calcium • Physically inactive Calcium Calcium is a mineral needed by the body for healthy bones, teeth and proper function of the heart, muscles and nerves. The body cannot produce calcium; therefore, it must be absorbed through food. Good sources of calcium include: • Dairy products—low fat or nonfat milk, cheese and yogurt • Dark green leafy vegetables—bok choy and broccoli • Calcium fortified foods—orange juice, cereal, bread, soy beverages and tofu products • Nuts—almonds Recommended Calcium Intakes Recommended amounts of calcium vary for individuals. Vitamin D also plays an important role in healthy bone development.

14 | May 2010

Vitamin D helps in the absorption of calcium (this is why milk is fortified with vitamin D). Below is a table of adequate intakes as outlined by the National Academy of Science.

Ages Birth–6 months 6 months–1 year 1–3 4–8 9–18 19–50 51 or older Pregnant & Lactating

Amount mg/day 210 270 500 800 1300 1000 1200 1000

Weight-Bearing Physical Activity Regular physical activity has been associated with many positive health benefits, including strong bones. Like proper calcium consumption, adequate weight-bearing physical activity early in life is important in reaching peak bone mass. Weight-bearing physical activities cause muscles and bones to work against gravity. Some examples of weight bearing physical activities include: • Walking, Jogging or Running • Tennis or Racquetball • Field Hockey • Stair climbing • Jumping rope • Basketball • Dancing • Hiking • Soccer • Weight lifting Incorporating weight-bearing physical activity into an exercise plan is a great way to keep bones healthy and meet physical activity recommendations set forth in the Dietary Guidelines for Americans. Adults should engage in at least 30 minutes of moderate physical activity [on] most, preferably all, days of the week, and children should engage in at least 60 minutes of moderate physical activity [on] most, preferably all, days of the week.

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SPECIAL NEEDS

Theresa Norton, LPN, a home care nurse with Bayada Nurses, does therapy with Erin Martin, 6, who has Rett Syndrome, a neurological condition causing her to have seizures, stop breathing, lose the ability to walk, speak, eat on her own and use her hands. Also pictured is big sister Abigail, 9. Photo by Kristine Orcutt.

t’s a typical day in the Marlton home of Lisa and George Martin. Their daughter, Erin, age 6, has just arrived home from school and, following a warm greeting from her mother and sister, Abigail, age 9, enjoys a meal of homemade pasta.

However, Erin, who must be hand-fed by a home care nurse, is anything but typical.

Lisa Martin first realized there might be something wrong when Erin was about 7 months old. “The doctors told us she was developmentally delayed and recommended physical and speech therapy,” says Martin. “She was making progress; however, a few months after she reached her second birthday, things started to change.”

The couple watched helplessly as Erin began to regress. She lost all of her skills, including the ability to crawl, walk, speak, drink from a cup and use her hands. In addition, the little girl began to lose weight.

Devastated, the Martins visited specialist after specialist. The initial diagnosis of Autism proved wrong. Finally, a geneticist diagnosed Erin with a rare neurological condition called Rett Syndrome.

“The disease mainly affects girls,” explains Martin, who is a nursing supervisor in a hospital emergency room. “Erin is cognitively aware, but her brain lacks the ability to tell her body to move, and that’s why she lost all of her skills. In addition, she has seizures and sometimes stops breathing.”

I

www.southjerseymom.com

By Lisa Weinstein

The Martins learned all they could about the disease, made sure Erin was comfortable and well cared for, and that she knew just how much she was loved.

In August 2009, the family suffered another setback when Erin developed a life-threatening condition called central sleep apnea. In short, because of Rett Syndrome, her brain was not telling her body to breathe at night. After a month in the hospital, Erin’s doctors would not let her go home unless the family had at least 16 hours a day of in-home nursing care for the little girl. That’s when the Martins found Bayada Nurses.

“I was so scared to have strangers come into my home; I thought it would be an invasion of my privacy,” says Martin.

“But Bayada was wonderful. They provided Erin with nurses who are intelligent and well trained to handle medical emergencies. Bayada was flexible and never let a shift go uncovered. Some of Erin’s nurses are also mothers of children with disabilities, so they really understood what Erin and my family were going through emotionally.”

Today, the nurses from Bayada spend seven hours a day with Erin at school and

business spotlight

Home Care Nursing for Children with

eight hours with the little girl at home. Theresa Norton, LPN, of Mt. Laurel, spends five days a week with Erin, usually from 3pm to 11pm. After her meal, Norton uses pillows to prop up Erin on the brightly colored carpet of her first floor bedroom, where books, photos, stuffed animals and pictures share space with specialized equipment, such as a ventilator and oxygen to help ensure Erin will not stop breathing. Big sister, Abigail, lovingly sits next to Erin and patiently reads a story from one of Erin’s favorite books, “Good Night Moon.”

“I never thought I could ever leave my child with anybody, but now I totally trust Bayada Nurses,” says Martin. “Erin is my child. I love her and, thanks to Bayada, I get to keep her home with her family, where she belongs.”

Nurses from Bayada are specially trained and certified to care for children with complex medical needs. Services are available throughout southern New Jersey. For more information, call (856) 722-9900.

Celebrating 15 Award-Winning Years!

Play and Learn Adventure for Kids 5 and Under

May 2010 | 15

just born

Looking for the latest gadgets, toys, books or family related products? Look no further! Each month, we highlight the latest and greatest just for you. Take a look at these “just born” products and add them to your list of must haves!

1

M’Chic Jeans These jeans have a patented slimming, adjustable waist panel that smoothes as it shapes. The waist panel looks like the bottom of a camisole, and in addition to shaping, it also prevents revealing too much when Mom bends down to lift her baby, pick up toys or tie a shoe. $89, www.mchicfashion.com

2

Fun Vintage Kitchen Aprons Cute aprons make cooking even more fun! A variety of fabrics and fun ruffles make these vintage kitchen aprons the perfect gift for any mom or grandmother! Select from seven fun and flirty designs! 100% cotton, machine washable, double-layered fabric makes the aprons durable and long-lasting. $32, www.everything4mom.com

3

Mini Cereal Ring by Mr. Kate These unique rings are the perfect accessory for every mom.

The mini version of the original cereal ring, this ring looks great solo or stacked with other rings. Available in white, yellow, rose or black gold plate over brass in size 4 to 9. Made to order, allow 2-4 wks for delivery. $36, www.mrkate.com

4

Isabelle Grace Jewelry—Bloom Necklace This adorable necklace celebrates the beauty of motherhood and what moms do for their children every day. It features the words “Mom” on one side and “You make Me Bloom” on the other, along with a tiny freshwater pearl representing the seed. A perfect gift for a Mom-to-be or for Mom anytime of the year. This sterling silver pendant measures approx 1 inch in length and is accented with 22kt gold. Available on 14kt gold filled chain or sterling silver. $89, www.isabellegracejewelry.com

5

Aerin Rose Swimwear Stylish designs of mix and match swim suits include underwire tops, bikinis, tankinis and one-piece bathing suits. You pick the cup size for the top and pick the size bottom that’s best for your figure, your shape, your body style. With tailored fitting and quality construction, Aerin Rose Swimwear allows you to create a personalized style ranging from conservative to revealing. Full figure, maternity and matching cover-ups available. Prices vary, www.aerinrose.com

6

Keri Golf Bags and Accessories This beautifully sophisticated collection combines luxurious hues of navy, white and poppy red with geometric prints. Features a tiered pocket system on one side for organization, a detachable zip bag to carry personal items to and from the clubhouse and a customizable bag tag. $60-335.99, www.kerigolf.com

7

Herban Renewal Bath & Body Distinctive Earth-Friendly personal care products utilizing all-natural, top-quality ingredients right from the garden. A wide range of products for women, men, tween girls and babies.

Prices vary, www.herbn-renewal.com

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The Center for Autism Research at The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia is looking for participants for a research study focusing on early brain development.

Who are we looking for?

• Infant siblings of typically developing children • Infant siblings of children with autism

Watching your child grow is an amazing process. However, some children are challenged by injuries, illnesses or birth defects. SJH Kids RehabCare helps families in our region by treating and managing pediatric disorders like brachial plexus injuries, cerebral palsy, autism, speech/swallowing disorders and developmental delays.

Our team of experts provides a variety of therapies including occupational, physical and speech therapy services. For more information call 856-507-8585.

Need Help Fighting for Your Child’s Rights?

Let Us Help...

MICHAEL I. INZELBUCH Attorney-at-Law • IEP Development • Due Process Hearings • Service Procurement Phone: 732.905.0325 Fax: 732.886.0806 Email: Michaelinz@aol.com Lakewoodlaw555@aol.com Member NJ & NY Bars www.southjerseymom.com

May 2010 | 17

perinatal mood disorders Help is Out There for Women in South Jersey

W

e think of the time that families begin preparing for the arrival of a new baby as a time of joy – filled with hopes, dreams and high expectations for the future. While many women do indeed feel this elation throughout their pregnancy, the truth is that, for some women, the periods before, during and after pregnancy are anything but happy.

Most new mothers – up to 80 percent – experience at least a brief episode of the “baby blues” – feelings of sadness, anxiety, loneliness, or moodiness – within the first few days of giving birth. After a couple of weeks, these symptoms typically disappear. However, when symptoms persist or deepen in intensity, they may be a sign of postpartum depression or another perinatal mood disorder. Perinatal mood disorders (PMD) include anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress dis18 | May 2010

order, bipolar disorders and postpartum depression. The depression may be mild, moderate or severe.

PMDs are serious, but treatable. Having a PMD does not mean anything is wrong with a woman’s ability to be a mother.

PMDs affect one in every eight to ten women, but many people do not know the facts. Any woman who has recently had a baby, ended a pregnancy, or who has stopped breastfeeding, can be affected by PMD. The disorders usually occur within the first year after childbirth, miscarriage or stillbirth, but the signs of depression can also appear earlier – when a woman is pregnant or even planning to become pregnant.

While the exact cause is unknown, contributing factors may be biological, psychological, or hormonal. Family members can play an important role by recognizing the warning signs of perinaVisit our website and sign up for our e-newsletter

tal mood disorders, helping the woman seek help and providing support. The warning signs are different for everyone but may include:

Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much Changes in appetite Feeling irritable, angry or nervous Feeling exhausted Not enjoying life as much as in the past Lack of interest in the baby Lack of interest in friends and family Lack of interest in sex Feeling guilty or worthless Feeling hopeless Crying uncontrollably Feelings of being a bad mother Trouble concentrating

Hyper-vigilance (extreme concern about the baby’s care and/or health) Low energy Thoughts of harming the baby or harming herself Perinatal mood disorders cause distress and adversely affect daily functioning and personal relationships. If left untreated, they can have long-term adverse effects on the woman and baby. Fortunately, perinatal mood disorders, even the most severe cases, are highly treatable, but as with many illnesses, the earlier that treatment can begin, the more effective it is.

A woman’s OB/GYN, family physician and pediatrician can all be effective starting points for assessment and referral for treatment.

Women affected by perinatal mood disorders are fortunate to have numerous resources available to them. In Atlantic, Burlington, Camden, Cape May, Gloucester, Cumberland and Salem counties, they can contact the Southern New Jersey Perinatal Cooperative, Inc. at (856) 665-6000.

New Jersey Department of Health and Senior Services provides a statewide perinatal mood disorder helpline (1-800328-3838) 24 hours a day, seven days a week to answer questions and provide information on available resources, as well as a comprehensive informational web site at www.njspeakup.gov.

The following stories are real life experiences from two brave local moms about their battle with Postpartum Depression

her story, her words Mary Jo Codey is married to former New Jersey Governor Richard Codey. She’s a school teacher, a mother and a postpartum depression survivor.

A

fter three long years of fertility treatments and trying to have a child of my own, I was finally pregnant! I promised God that I would be the best mother anyone could ever be and He’d never be sorry for giving me a baby.

The nurse put my son in my arms and I felt…nothing. No joy.

No love. Not even relief. In fact, I did not want to hold, feed or even see my baby. I just wanted to be left alone.

That’s how motherhood began for me in October 1984, when my oldest son, Kevin, was born. Things got worse when we returned home. I took the phone off the hook and stayed in bed with the covers over my head. I could not sleep and would not even answer the door. At the end of the first week, I called my OB/GYN and cried.

In the ten years he’d known me, he’d never heard me cry. So he called the only psychiatrist he knew with knowledge of postpartum depression. The psychiatrist did not www.southjerseymom.com

think I was that bad, because I was not having thoughts about hurting myself or the baby. She prescribed an antidepressant.

Several months and three prescriptions later, I was having intrusive, frightening and overwhelming thoughts about hurting Kevin. I was deeply ashamed that I could not overcome them. Some involved smothering or drowning, but the worst ones were about the microwave. I was so afraid, I hid what I was going through from everyone.

Although I had not bonded with Kevin, I knew what he needed from childhood-growth-and-development courses, so I parented from my head. I desperately wanted him to feel loved by his mother.

One day, when my husband Dick came home for lunch, I just looked at him and said, “I’m having scary thoughts about hurting the baby all the time. I can’t do this

anymore. Find another wife who can be a good mother to Kevin. That’s all I care about.”

On January 31, 1985, I admitted myself to the Carrier Clinic in Belle Meade, NJ. The experience was bad from the start. After taking my picture, the head nurse read my chart.

“You’re depressed and just had a baby?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“You’re 29 years old?” she asked.

“Yes,” I answered.

“You’ve been used to having a lot of freedom,” she said, very coldly.

Because she was the head psychiatric nurse and a woman – and probably a mother herself – her comments deepened my shame. It went downhill from there. They tried a new medication, daily visits with a psychiatrist and group-therapy sessions.

Dick was my only ray of light. He was always there for me, encouraging me to keep fighting and telling me he would never go away – even though I gave him May 2010 | 19

permission to. After 28 days, I was discharged… every bit as depressed as when they admitted me. As soon as I started caring for Kevin again, the intrusive thoughts came back. Over the next four months, my psychiatrist tried a series of medications, but the thoughts were not going away.

One morning in July, my friends and I were sitting around the edge of the pool after class. Kevin was playing behind my legs in the water. I thought, “Push him under! No one will know until it’s too late.” Suddenly I could not take it anymore. Kevin needed to be safe from me.

By now, I’d been on eight or nine different antidepressants. The doctor told me there was a kind of medication called an MAO inhibitor that might help.

As days went on, I had fewer scary thoughts. Within two weeks, I could give Kevin a bath without thinking about drowning him. Then the intrusive thoughts went away altogether.

My spirits lifted. Before I knew it, October came around again, and I was planning Kevin’s first birthday party.

Shortly after that, I went back to teaching.

My recovery took nearly a full year and I enjoyed two great years of motherhood after that.

I wish my story ended there, but we desperately wanted more children. I talked to my psychiatrist and she said, “Go for it!

Many women don’t experience PPD the next time around or with every birth.”

I went off my medication and became pregnant with our son Christopher in 1988.

By the fourth month, depression returned and deepened throughout my pregnancy.

Now I had intrusive thoughts about hurting my toddler.

Many people ask if it’s easier to go through PPD the second time, when you know what to expect. Trust me, it’s like being hit by a car twice. It hurts just as much the second time!

By the eighth month, I could not take it anymore. Then, shock therapy was considered the only safe way to treat depression during pregnancy. The memory loss from the shock therapy was so severe, I had to quit my teaching job… and the therapy did not work.

After Christopher was born and I was back on my medication, I became angry.

No one should ever have to go through that kind of suffering and humiliation. Mental illness has nothing to do with blame.

Nothing that has happened in my life since having PPD has been worse. Not going into a coma when my antidepressants were stepped up six years ago. Not even having breast cancer and a double mastectomy right after that. Nothing can compare.

Maternal mood disorders strike

between 11,000 and 16,000 women in New Jersey alone each year. So, with my husband’s blessing, I began sharing my story and working with mental health and PPD support groups, including Postpartum Support International.

I’m proud to be the spokesperson for “Recognizing Postpartum Depression: Speak Up When You’re Down.” With this campaign, New Jersey became the first state in the country to commit resources to uninsured new mothers for PPD screenings and treatment. The program includes a 24hour PPD helpline, a bilingual website, educational materials and more.

NJ’s Postpartum Depression Screening and Education law – which took effect in October 2006 – is an outgrowth of the efforts that began during my husband’s administration. Under this law, every pregnant woman in our state has to be educated about maternal depression before giving birth and screened for it after. And all licensed health care professionals who provide pre- and post-natal care have to be educated about maternal depression.

Our law is the first of its kind. It’s also one of the building blocks of the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act, which is in the U.S. Senate H.E.L.P. committee after passing unanimously in Congress. It’s awaiting a full vote from the Senate. Visit www.njspeakup.gov to learn more.

nothing felt right

By Renee Taylor Negin

D

ana knew something was not right soon after her daughter was born. She did not feel like herself.

She was anxious, worried and “nothing felt right.”

She could not sleep. She felt strapped to her baby.

Dana, who had never suffered from depression or anxiety before the birth of her daughter, attributed these feelings to motherhood. This perception was bolstered by those around her, who assured her that it was normal for a first-time mom to feel anxious about her new role. At her six-week post-partum checkup, Dana men20 | May 2010

tioned her feelings to her OB/GYN. The doctor offered medication, but was not able to fully explore the issue with Dana.

Eight weeks after her daughter was born, though, Dana knew what she was feeling was not normal. When she read a flier for the “Speak Up When You’re Down” website (http://www.nj. gov/health/fhs/postpartumdepression/inde x.shtml) at her doctor’s office, she took the first, and most difficult, step toward receiving help for what she later learned was postpartum depression. “[The people at] the hotline were really helpful,” says Dana. “They [referred me] to a therapist

specializing in postpartum depression.”

The therapist also accepted Dana’s insurance, so she did not have to worry about the cost of care.

Dana began attending weekly therapy sessions and her therapist suggested medication might help with her progress. She was reluctant to take medication, but she realized that doing so did not mean a lifetime of addiction. The medication helped, but the coping tools that Dana learned with her therapist were essential for her recovery.

“She [Dana’s therapist] told me that it was ok for me to take time for myself,” Dana says. “My husband attended my second session with me, and the therapist told Visit our website and sign up for our e-newsletter

HELP IS AVAILABLE IN SOUTH JERSEY TLC (Talking, Listening and Caring) for Moms Support Group Virtua Hospital, Voorhees 1-888-Virtua-3 Meets every Wednesday 12:00 to 1:30pm Recognizing PPD – Speak Up When You’re Down PPD Helpline: 1.800.328.3838 www.njspeakup.gov NJ State Coordinator, Postpartum Support International Alexis Menken Ph.D. (973) 783.7681, alexisphd@gmail.com Postpartum Support International 1.800.944.4PPD www.postpartum.net

The American Academy of ily Pediatric Dentists recommends m a F r establishing a “Dental Home” u o n i for your child by their o J e 1st Birthday m o

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him, ‘Dana is going to go out by herself for two hours every day, and you’re going to take care of the baby.’”

Once her therapist helped her delegate her daughter’s care, Dana found that she enjoyed the time she had for herself. Dana points out that “postpartum can happen to anyone, not just moms who have no support.”

In addition to individual counseling and medication, Dana attended some postpartum support groups, where she realized that many women felt just as she did. She was surprised to see women who appeared to be so put together on the outside were suffering just as much on the inside as she was. She made friends at the groups and was able to open up and talk about her feelings.

Today, Dana no longer suffers from postpartum depression. She takes medication for insomnia only as needed (and she does so without guilt or reservation), she meets with her therapist about once a month and she still attends her support group meetings. She recognizes the look on newcomers’ faces, women who come into the meetings “desperate, crying, or don’t know what to do,” and she tells them what she was told: “I know what you’re going through and I understand.” www.southjerseymom.com

May 2010 | 21

know 2 grow

Food Allergy Basics Provided by the Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network here is no cure for food allergy, a potentially fatal medical condition that affects approximately 12 million Americans. The incidence of food allergy is highest in young children – one in 17, under age 3.

Food allergy occurs when the immune system mistakenly attacks a food protein. Ingestion of the offending food may trigger the sudden release of chemicals, including histamine, resulting in symptoms of an allergic reaction. The symptoms may be mild or severe, as when anaphylaxis occurs. Foodinduced anaphylaxis is the leading cause of anaphylaxis outside the hospital setting.

Eight foods account for 90 percent of all foodallergic reactions in the U.S.: milk, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts (e.g., walnuts, almonds, cashews, pistachios, pecans), wheat, soy, fish and shellfish.

Many think the terms food allergy and food intolerance mean the same thing. They do not. Food intolerance, unlike a food allergy, does not involve the immune system and is not life threatening. Lactose intolerance, trouble digesting the milk sugar lactose, is a common example. Symptoms may include abdominal cramps, bloating and diarrhea.

T

Diagnosis A skin prick test or a blood test for Immunoglobulin E (IgE) is commonly used to begin to determine if an allergy exists. Such test results will show that IgE is present in the body, but cannot alone predict a reaction will occur if the patient were to eat a suspected allergy-causing food.

The results of the tests are combined with other information, such as a history of symptoms and the result of a food challenge, if performed, to determine whether a food allergy exists.

Treatment Strict avoidance of the allergy-causing food is the only way to avoid a reaction. Reading ingredient labels for all foods is the key to avoiding a reaction. If a product does not have a label, individuals with a food allergy should not eat that food. If there are any doubts whether a food is safe, the manufacturer should be contacted for more information.

Epinephrine, also known as adrenaline, is the medication of choice for controlling a severe reaction.

It’s available by prescription as a self-injectable device.

Symptoms Symptoms may include one or more of the following: a tingling sensation in the mouth, swelling of the tongue and the throat, difficulty breathing, hives, vomiting, abdominal cramps, diarrhea, drop in blood pressure, loss of consciousness and even death.

Symptoms typically appear within minutes to two hours after the person has eaten the food to which he or she is allergic.

Prevention Studies regarding the prevention of food allergies are inconclusive. Parents should become familiar with the early signs of allergic diseases, such as eczema, hives, wheezing, repeated diarrhea and/or vomiting in reaction to formulas; talk to a doctor about the symptoms.

At this time, no medication can be taken to prevent food allergies. Strict avoidance of food allergens and early recognition and management of allergic reactions to food are important measures to prevent serious health consequences.

FAAN Walk for Food Allergy: Moving Toward a Cure Cooper River Park Sept 12 at 9:00 a.m. www.foodallergywalk.org Please register a team under New Jersey, Camden County Contact Sue Harrison at martinichic1@verizon.net for more information or to be on the committee.

22 | May 2010

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ADDvisor

By Linda Karanzalis, M.S. Learning Specialist/ ADD Coach

daughter was How does ADHD affect Should I tell my Q. Q. My Q. diagnosed with ADHD my child’s ability to child’s coach she last year. She appears to be struggling with depression. Is there a higher rate of depression in children with ADHD? An estimated 10 to 30 percent of children with ADHD also have depression. Considering the fact that they struggle with school, impulsive control and social skills, it’s not hard to figure out why.

They have much more to cope with than their peers. Life can be hard for these children.

They may be rejected by peers, spend hours agonizing over homework and get into trouble at school. Children with ADHD typically elicit more negative feedback from teachers. On the other hand, depression can be misdiagnosed, as ADHD depressed people can become easily irritated and have difficulty concentrating. It’s best to contact your child’s doctor with any concerns you have.

A.

ADHD caused by Q. Ispoor parenting?

ADHD is a medical condition and is not caused by poor parenting; it’s a brain-based disorder. However, research has shown a link between smoking cigarettes and consuming alcohol during pregnancy and ADHD. Exposure to high levels of lead as a child has been identified as a cause as well.

ADHD is also a highly genetic disorder. Studies show that 25 percent of relatives in families of ADHD children also have ADHD, as compared to the rate in the general population. One third of fathers with ADHD have children with ADHD.

A.

www.southjerseymom.com

perform in school?

has ADHD?

A.

A.

Without adequate treatment, children with ADHD have a greater chance of being kept back a grade, dropping out, academic underachievement and social and emotional difficulties. The two most important areas in school are academics and social skills. Their difficulty with attention, organization, impulse control and distractibility are not conducive to the learning environment. Some children with ADHD also have learning disabilities that can cause problems with learning in reading, writing, spelling, math, speech and language. Those with ADHD are entitled, by law, to receive a free and appropriate education. ADHD occurs across all levels of intelligence, including the gifted. These children may even experience failure despite their high IQ due to their ADHD symptoms.

ask the ADDvisor

Ask the

This is a common dilemma that parents of ADHD children face. Of course you do not want your child stigmatized with a label. Rather than say your child has ADHD, tell the coach your child has difficulty with certain tasks. Be as specific as possible. Identify the issue and provide a solution that would best work for your child. Most coaches are more than happy to work with you.

Linda Karanzalis, M.S., founder and owner of ADDvantages Learning Center in Cherry Hill is the coordinator of CHADD of South Jersey, a non-profit organization serving children and adults with attention deficit disorder. Listen to her “Ask the ADDvisor‚” radio show on 92.1 FM. For more info contact Linda Karanzalis at (856) 482-0756 or at www.addvantageslearningcenter.com.

Spring and Summer Brand Name Clothing at DISCOUNT prices Brand New Boutique Brand Christening Outfits and Gifts Extensive Selection of Melissa & Doug. We have added additional NEW jewelry, gifts and toys. Great for Birthday Gifts and Birthday Favors!! (Bulk discounts available)

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May 2010 | 23

Teach Your Child to Be a Good Person

By Gwen Recinto

Use positive reinforcement.

When your child does something great, make sure he or she knows it. Show praise. If your child acts inappropriately, speak to them right away in a private and calm way.

Set an example.

You are your child’s hero. Your child will follow your lead. Be polite to everyone, especially during casual interactions. For example, be kind to your store clerk or librarian. Say “please” and “thank you.” Apologize after making a mistake and show responsibility by being on time to work, appointments and family or school events.

Create unique learning opportunities.

If you donate money to a non-profit, volunteer or participate in a charity event, take your child with you. Have a conversation about the organization and why you are helping. If possible, choose an organization to support together. For example, donate clothes to a homeless shelter and encourage your child to look through his or her closet to donate something as well.

I

n order to teach your child to be a good person, you first have to determine your values — and what “good” means to you. Take time to reflect. Think about someone you admire and why. For example, are they honest, determined, compassionate and trustworthy?

Barbara Pachter, president of Pachter & Associates in Cherry Hill, is an expert in many areas, including business etiquette, communication skills and conflict management. As a mother, she taught her son eye contact and the importance of a simple “please” and “thank you.” According to Pachter, “It’s important to teach and reinforce certain behaviors.” Consider the following tips for raising a polite, compassionate and responsible child.

Make lists.

Write down the characteristics you admire in others — friendly, helpful, outgoing, etc. In another column, list your child’s personality strengths, for example, cooperative or caring. Then, note times when your child has acted in positive and negative ways.

These lists will help you to determine the types of behaviors you may want to address, encourage or discourage.

24 | May 2010

Set consistent expectations.

Make sure your child knows etiquette in your home and outside the home are the same. This includes behavior at the dinner table.

Teach your children general table manners — no throwing food, leaning back while sitting in a chair and no talking with a mouth full of food.

In addition to these ideas, Pachter recommends an annual “Etiquette Month” at home, a concept gleaned from one of her clients. “Every January, the family would focus on table manners.

If they weren’t holding their utensils properly, they were shown how. If they reached across the table to grab food, they were encouraged to stop and ask someone to pass the item. There was no talking with your mouth full.” The family also ate in the dining room and went out to a “fancy” restaurant to experience fine dining. Siblings were also allowed to correct each other.

For additional information, check out Pachter’s book, When the Little Things Count ... And They Always Count. The book includes 601 essential things to help you and, in some cases, your child, shine and succeed in every situation.

Gwen Recinto is a writer and fitness instructor. Follow her on Twitter, @AllThingsGwen, and check out her blog, AllThingsGwen.com, for posts about living a happy, healthy and inspired life.

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7

Fun Ways

to get your child to LISTEN

A

By Jennifer Gregory

s parents, we want to savor the toddler and preschool years, but there are shoes to put on, toys to clean up and manners to be taught. Here are some games to get your kids to cooperate with you while having fun and creating family memories.

1 2 3 4

Tell a Secret When you need to get your child to come to you, call out in your best dramatic voice “I have a secret to tell you when you tag my hand.” You can also have him/her tag your foot, belly button or ear. When you are tagged, whisper a secret in your child’s ear, such as “I love you,” “I saw a purple cow” or even a joke. The actual secret you tell isn’t as important as acting like it’s the most important secret in the world.

Pretend to Be an Animal This is a great way to get your child to go to the car or leave a play date without a fuss. After you have given your child a countdown, say, “It’s time to leave. Let’s pretend to be a frog (or any other type of animal you choose) as we go to the car.” Have everyone (including adults) pretend to be an animal, complete with noises, as you make your way to the car. The more dramatic you are, the more fun it is.

You can also have everyone choose their favorite animal from a category, such as farm animals or sea animals.

Have a Race Use this game when you need your child to do something quickly, such as putting shoes on, getting dressed or cleaning something up. The trick is to have the child race against the clock, not another child. Ask if he or she is fast and then say, “Let’s see if you can get your shoes on in 2 minutes.”

Set the timer and watch how quickly he/she moves. If you do not have a timer, try counting to an unusual number, such as 17. This game is magic and will turn most dawdling kids into speed racers.

Give Your Child a Fun Mission Next time your child gets fidgety while running errands with you, provide a mission to be accomplished along the way. Helping you find your car, counting the steps to the bathroom or guessing how many items you have in your shopping cart are all ways to hold boredom at bay. You can also have your child make up a song about the shopping trip or tell you a story during the errand. Be sure to make

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children feel that you cannot complete your task without their help and that you have given them a very important job.

5 6 7

Put on Your Listening Ears Use this game when you need your child to remember manners outside the home, such as in a restaurant, movie theatre or museum. Before you enter the building, gather your kids up and say dramatically, “I have something important to tell you. Can anyone tell me what type of ears we need to wear in the museum?” After your kids tell you the correct answer, say, “You are right. Let’s put on our listening ears. I think mine are in my shoe.” Dramatically pretend to pull your ears out of your shoe and put them on while your children do the same. Have them find their listening ears and pretend to put them on. You can also do this with walking feet or inside voice. If your child forgets his or her manners, whisper, “You must have put your listening ears back in your belly button when I wasn’t looking.

Let’s find them again and put them back on.”

Have a Special Dance When your child finishes a task he did not want to do, have a special dance you do together to celebrate. You can have a Clean Teeth Dance, I Finished My Dinner Dance, or even a Clean Room Dance. Make the dance as silly as possible and be sure all of the grownups in the room join in the fun.

Shout Hip Hip Hooray If your child shows good manners or does something else you are proud of, reward the positive behavior with a “Hip Hip Hooray.” Tell your child you are very proud, and then shout, “Hip Hip Hooray” together. If you want to make an impact, give your child Hip Hip Hoorays by jumping up and shouting in public. The kids love it and everyone ends up laughing.

Jennifer Gregory is a freelance writer and the mom of two kids. She has jumped up and down yelling, “Hip Hip Hooray” in public more than she would like to admit.

May 2010 | 25

Is Foster Parenting for You? T

By Rebekah Bailey

here are many reasons people become foster parents… wanting to have a positive influence in the lives of children in need, wanting to give back to the community or simply wanting children back in an empty nest. Whatever the reason may be, there are things to consider before becoming a foster parent.

Opening your home to a child who has been abused or neglected can be both a rewarding and challenging experience.

Many of these children are frightened, feel rejected and have built walls around themselves to keep out the hurt.

Tracey Brown, a Burlington County resident, has been fostering children for about four years and works as a co-trainer for new foster families for a local Division of Youth and Family Services (DYFS) office. Brown suggests that you ask yourself the following questions before deciding to become a foster parent: How does everyone in your family feel about becoming a foster family? It’s important to have everyone share their feelings and concerns, even your own children.

Are you ready to open your home to children, as well as caseworkers, therapists, state licensing officials, etc? In other words, are you ready for the invasion of privacy?

Have you worked through your own emotions from your past experiences?

If you are unable to have a child, can you handle a child leaving? Or, if you have been abused, can you emotionally handle taking care of an abused child?

Are you financially able to provide for your own family? Stipends received for fostering should not be thought of as income.

Are you willing to make the necessary changes in your life to accommodate a child/children? Fostering children means transporting them to doctors’ visits, court appointments and family visits.

26 | May 2010

“Some of the most challenging things about being a foster parent are dealing with conflict between the foster children and your children, exposing your children to some of the behaviors that can be displayed in foster children and the aspect of shared parenting. Although you have physical custody, DYFS has legal custody and, since the parents still have rights, they have a say too. So you are not in total control when it comes to making decisions for the children as you are with your own children, even if you feel you’re doing it in the best interest of the child,” says Brown. She adds, “Sometimes, the challenge may come when it’s time to say goodbye and you may not be ready to say goodbye. Remembering to stay positive for the children and not [express] your feelings of doubt or disappointment is [necessary] and it may not be easy.”

While there are challenges that come with being a foster parent, there are also rewards. Foster parenting is an opportunity to provide much needed love and stability to children in need of a safe, caring home.

Brown says, “I would say the most rewarding part of being a foster parent is watching a child play with a smile on their face… a smile that was not there when they first came… and watching their wounds heal as they grow.”

If you think you can open your home and heart to a child in need, visit the New Jersey Department of Children and Families website at, www.state.nj.us/njfosteradopt for more details.

Facts About Becoming a Foster Parent in New Jersey • Foster parents must be at least 18 years old. There is no upper age limit, as long as you are in reasonable health.

• It does not matter if you are a homeowner or a renter as long as you can provide a safe environment for a child.

• All the members of your household must agree to the commitment of providing foster care for a child.

• You must attend DYFS pre-service training to become a licensed resource parent.

This training is offered in nine three-hour sessions.

• Foster parents can be single, married or in a domestic partnership.

• Foster parents can be employed outside the home. DYFS may even provide childcare for your foster children while you are at work.

• Foster care is considered short term and a child may be with you a few days to several months.

• Monthly board rates in NJ start at around $700 and vary, depending on the age of the child. This payment is to assist a foster family in providing food, shelter, transportation and entertainment for a foster child.

• Health care for foster children is covered

by Medicaid, which covers all necessary care and treatment.

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May 2010 | 27

Photo by Lisa Ward Photography

C

laudia and Randall “Ran” E. Toby know a thing or two about business. They also know a thing or two about family. Their knowledge of those two things has helped them start and grow their cleaning business, Thorough Professional Cleaning. Currently serving Burlington, Camden and Gloucester counties, this husband and wife team provides environmentally friendly cleaning methods and human friendly aromatherapy to their clients.

Three years ago, Claudia and Ran moved to South Jersey from New York and, a year later, started their cleaning business.

Claudia, an LPN, and Ran, whose background is in sales and marketing, took what they learned in their careers and went into business for themselves. They did their homework—attended trade shows, gathered information using online research and talked to others in the industry. Both admit it was, and still is, a learning process.

In order to succeed in today’s market, the pair is always on the lookout for a competitive edge. They developed strategic partnerships to promote their business, putting together a package for mothers, which includes service by Thorough Professional Cleaning and body massage by Mona Leeza Spa in Atco. Clients can choose to have the massage performed in-home while the cleaning is done, or they can catch a ride in a limousine provided

by G & R Bus and Limousine Service (based in Beverly) to the spa and return relaxed and refreshed to their clean home. Combining the massage and the cleaning service, says Ran, helps relieve the stress of worrying about a clean house and gives moms the physical and emotional rejuvenation the massage provides.

28 | May 2010

with a

business spotlight

Local Family Does Cleaning

By Renee Taylor Negin Claudia and Ran have recently launched their own brand of organic soaps, hand-made by Claudia. The soaps are made with a unique blend of goat’s milk and Shea butter and scented with essential oils. Claudia hosts Aromatherapy and Wellness parties to promote her new product. She especially likes working on this end of the business because the Toby children can be more involved. Their son, Stevenchy, 11, types up pamphlets for the parties, while daughter Chelsea, 10, expresses her creativity by designing labels for the soaps. “The children have this opportunity to earn their allowance, to learn about money and to see first-hand the efforts that go into running a business,” Ran says. “[And] they are learning that when you are in business for yourself, you control your own destiny.” Claudia admits there are times when the children are not always motivated to participate, but acknowledges it’s a good lesson in perseverance.

Running their business together, Claudia and Ran work side by side. When others question their ability to work so closely together, Claudia tells them that communication is key. She and Ran have date nights every other week and they do not talk about business. Ran credits Claudia with bringing laughter to their days. “We’re best friends. She puts up with my flaws, and I put up with just the few that she has.” In the future, Ran and Claudia would like to have a consulting firm to help new entrepreneurs take BODY CARE • ESSENTIAL OILS their ideas from MACROBIOTICS • HOMEOPATHICS dream to reality, and ALLERGY & SPECIAL DIETS says that he and LARGE SELECTION OF FROZEN Claudia will serve as & REFRIGERATED ITEMS a model of the Laurel Hill Plaza (across from Shoprite) Blackwood-Clementon & Laurel Roads “power couple” that Gloucester Township - Lindenwold work, live and love 2001 College Drive - Clementon together.

To contact Ran and Claudia Toby, visit www.thoroughpc.com.

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green mama

Heart of the Home Specialist

COMPOSTING

By Sheila Taney, RN, MSN

have always been fascinated with the idea of composting. But you may be asking, what exactly is it?

Composting is essentially placing food discards and plant remains into a contained area outside. With 26 percent of landfill waste currently made up of yard and food waste, composting is becoming more popular. It’s one thing you can do to help the environment.

The compost pile can be a stand-alone pile or organic waste can be put into a bin or a plywood structure. Items are layered as you would layer lasagna ingredients by alternating food waste with plant waste. Composts must be mixed and kept moist by adding water.

The best time to begin composting is in the spring. The microbes in a composter tend to break down faster when the temperature is 50 degrees or higher. Finished compost is amber in color and has an earthy smell. Compost can be added to soil, used as mulch or used to make “tea” for houseplants.

Start with an outdoor composter or use a small kitchen composter to begin the composting process. Kitchen composters can be found online or locally. Visit http://www.ehow.com/how_ 3541_begin-compost-pile.html to learn how to create your compost pile. This can be a fun project the entire family can partake in. For more information for New Jersey residents, go to http://www.state.nj.us/dep/dshw/rrtp/compost/front.htm.

I

What to Compost

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What NOT to Compost Meats Bones Human waste Diseased plants Chemically treated wood products Sheila Taney has two children and resides in Cherry Hill. She is passionate about teaching her children and others how they can participate in saving the environment.

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May 2010 | 29

Is your child the CUTEST KID IN TOWN? Every month, South Jersey MOM will feature a local child on the cover!

If you think you have the cutest kid in town, send a 4x6 photo and a $15 entry fee to P.O. Box 2413, Vineland, NJ 08362-2413.

If your child(ren) is/are selected, we will arrange a FREE professional photo shoot and they could be on our next cover for all your friends and family to see! Sorry, photos cannot be returned.

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Giveaways!

SpongeBob’s Last Stand DVD Project Runway for Wii Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel DVD Dutch Wonderland Tickets National Constitution Center Tickets Adventure Aquarium Tickets Camden Riversharks Tickets

Parent Name: __________________________________________________ Address: ______________________________________________________ Phone: ________________________________________________________ Child(ren) Name(s) & Birthdates: __________________________________ ______________________________________________________________

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30 | May 2010

24 HOUR CHRISTIAN MUSIC AND TEACHINGS WWW.WPOVFM.ORG If you would like to spread the word about your business, join our family of sponsors!

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learning 2 learn

Avenues to Learning earning Style is about the preferred sensory channel used to take in information. The most commonly known are Visual learning by what we see, Auditory learning by what we hear, and Tactile Kinesthetic hands-on learning and learning by doing. This latter group is, unfortunately, the one often highlighted as being a behavioral problem or ADHD. Most people teach from their own style of learning, so their teaching style may not match your child’s learning style.

All classrooms should provide multi-sensory input and feedback to make sure all learners’ needs are addressed adequately and appropriately.

Everyone has tendencies to gravitate toward a particular sensory avenue and may rely more on one avenue of input than another, depending on the type of information and how challenging it is. While we may have strengths as an auditory learner, the speed or nature of the information listened to may require us to also use another avenue, as needing to write down what we hear.

There are also cognitive strengths or learning styles referred to as multiple intelligences. These include linguistic, logical, musical and the emotional intelligences, commonly called E intelligences, as interpersonal and intra-personal, to name a few.

All children have strengths and weaknesses. While your child will primarily rely on their strengths, all avenues of receiving and assimilating information need to be strong and well developed so your child can more effectively use all the senses and learn best in all situations.

For example, if your child is a visual learner because they have poor auditory

L

processing skills, that is critical to the learning process. Their auditory processing abilities can be and need to be developed as much as possible through training!

Aside from being visual, auditory or kinesthetic, visual/spatial learners, we need to look at how our children learn in relation to how information or the school material is presented. In other words, is your child a Figural, Symbolic or Semantic learner?

FIGURAL LEARNERS Figural Learning is the primary way babies and young children learn, but children can be Figural Learners throughout their school years. Their world is three dimensional, tangible. They learn the meaning of symbols (which is what reading really is), such as that the golden arches mean McDonald’s and that the red six-sided shape means stop sign. They learn what they say and what they mean. Figural Learners are primarily Right Hemisphere learners, as are many children who have a Dyslexic Learning Style.

In choosing a reading program, your child’s learning style regarding content is especially important to the ease and efficiency of learning. The most popular reading program used in special reading programs in our schools is a Left Hemisphere program for Symbolic Learners and is not appropriate for children who are Figural Learners.

This program contributes to the problem Figural Learners have in learning to read and why these same children take so long to learn to read!

By Mary Pat Correro, Ed.M.

what school is about. If your K-3rd grade child is having a hard time learning letters, their names and sight vocabulary, they may be Figural learners and need to be taught to read using a program that is appropriate to Figural learning, not Symbolic learning. Non-Symbolic learners may also have problems with numbers and Arithmetic. However, that is only one piece of the puzzle of why children are struggling to read and learn arithmetic.

SEMANTIC LEARNER Learning by words, ideas are critical to the learning process, especially in the higher grades, definitely beyond third grade.

Many children who are poor semantic learners are also mislabeled as inattentive, lacking focus, ADD. They may have a Dyslexic or Figural Learning Style but language processing issues as vocabulary, comprehension and auditory sequential memory need to be evaluated to rule out these abilities as being the source of the problem.

Mary Pat Correro is the founder of The Center For Learning Enhancement,LLC. The Center resolves learning disabilities through a comprehensive, developmental approach based on the most current research on the brain and learning. For more info call (856) 234-7337 or visit www.CLEnhancement.com.

SYMBOLIC LEARNING The Symbolic Learner is strong in the use of letters and numbers, which is actually

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May 2010 | 31

summer camp guide

Sending Kids to Summer Camp?

You may need insurance Y

ou’ve selected the perfect summer camp for your child and thought of everything they need to enjoy their weeks of enrichment and activity. But what if something unforeseen happens?

While no mom wants to dwell on the “what ifs” (like a natural disaster, pandemics… remember H1N1 closing camps last summer?... or even a broken leg), these unfortunate situations are often unavoidable. Everyone knows summer camp is a pricey investment and now it’s one that parents can insure.

“Summer camp insurance provides a safety net should plans change, something unforeseen happens or goes awry,” says Mark Ceslowitz, president of TravMark, a specialty insurance company based in

Hoboken and a provider of summer camp insurance.

When researching insurance, parents should look for policies that specifically mention “summer camp.” Traditional travel insurance policies exclude coverage for amateur sports and psychological conditions, which means a sports injury or homesickness won’t be covered. Add-itionally, many of the exclusions and purchase deadlines in usual travel insurance policies are not appropriate for young people or summer camp.

Ceslowitz says it’s important to read the fine print and look for policies that are clearly de-signed with kids in mind.

TravMark’s comprehensive plan provides coverage for amateur sports and psychological condi-

Sending Your Kids to Camp?

What If Your Child Gets Homesick?

Let our A+ Protection Plan Protect Your Summer Investment TravMark’s A+ Protection Plan provides coverage for: • Program cancellation/ interruption • Optional “cancel for any reason” • Program medical expenses • 24 hours emergency assistance • Baggage

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tions and is specifically geared toward campers. The average cost of a summer camp insurance policy falls between four and six percent of the total program price.

TravMark developed the A+ Protection Plan, which includes coverage for program cancellation, program interruption, medical expenses, emergency evacuation and baggage/personal effects.

Cancel For Any Reason coverage is also available. TravMark’s plans will cover day camps, sports camps and overnight camps.

“Families now purchase travel insurance for hotel rooms, airline tickets and cruises. Purchasing insurance for camp tuition is no different,” says Ceslowitz.

“Purchasing an insurance policy may save families hundreds or more dollars in the event plans change or their child’s camp session is interrupted.”

For more information on summer camp insurance, contact TravMark at 800358-0779 ext. 221 or www.travmark.com

P.O. Box 248 • Hoboken, NJ 07030

1-800-358-0779 x221 Travmark.com, Inc. is affiliated with Global Coverage, Inc.

32 | May 2010

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May 2010 | 33

PARENTS What are your kids doing this summer?

Serving children ages 18 months to 15 years.

Celebrating 125 years of YMCA Camping!

Send them to college!

Monday through Friday June 28 through August 27 9 AM-noon and 1 PM-4 PM • Programs for children ages 5-16 • Before and After Care available • Professional instructors • Many enrollment options available New This Year Programs for teens 14-16!

Weekly Sessions • Swimming • Sports • Healthy U Program Specialty Camps • Arts & Crafts • And More!

Our day camps are held at: YMCA of Vineland and Camp Merrywood 9:00am-4:00pm Before and after care available 7:30am-5:30pm For information please contact Cindi Gant at 856-691-8600 ext. 345

New experiences. New skills.

New friendships.

Summer Academy for Kids at Cumberland County College 3322 College Drive Vineland, NJ 08362-1500 www.cccnj.edu/safk

Cumberland Cape Atlantic YMCA 1159 E. Landis Avenue • Vineland, NJ

856.691.0030 www.ccaymca.org camp@ccaymca.org

Register and pay in full for 9 weeks by Healthy Kids Day on April 17, 2010 and receive Before and After Care. $180 Value!

Licensed Facility and Certified Staff

SUMMER DANCE PROGRAMS Summer Dance Intensive-July 12-16 Sign up for the day or for the week!

Ages 7-24, Divided by age group 9am-3pm Ages 4-6, 9am-1pm Zumba Classes-Adult & Kid Classes Tuesday evenings starting July 20th Tiny Dancer Classes-Ages 21⁄2-4 Ballet • Tap • Jazz • Gym-Ages 4-6, 7 & up Hip-Hop Camp-Ages 7-12 July 19-23, 10am-2pm

Register online at www.mulforddance.com before June 19th and get a FREE Registration!

MULFORD DANCE STUDIO 245 S. Black Horse Pike • Mt. Ephraim, NJ 34 | May 2010

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SUMMER CAMP!

Send Your Kids to Notre Dame Regional School Summer Camp #1 in Catholic Education

July 7th - August 20th 8-4 M-F • Ages 3-7

• Weekly Theme Activities • 7:30 a.m. thru 5:30 p.m. • Loving and safe environment • Open to children 2 yrs- 8th grade

At the Landisville Campus

Contact Melissa Knapp at (856) 697-3456 ext.112 for more information

• Air Conditioned Facilities • 2 Large Outdoor Playgrounds • Theme Based Weeks • Arts & Crafts • Computer Time Little Lamb Preschool • 1005 East Wheat Rd. • Vineland, NJ • 856-692-5390

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For more information call 856.696.0506 • 1655 Magnolia Road • Vineland

May 2010 | 35

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May 2010 | 37

LIBERTY LAKE DAY CAMP Conveniently located off Routes 295, 206, and 130, Liberty Lake Camp is a high quality, elective-based program for ages 4-14.

Tuition includes transportation, lunch, and the most dynamic program in camping! (609) 499-7820, www.libertylakedaycamp.com.

SEND YOUR CHILD TO COLLEGE THIS SUMMER! Cumberland County College offers a 9-week summer camp for kids ages 5-16 yrs.

Featuring: Theatre, Cooking, Robotics and much more! June 28 to August 27. Call (856) 691-8600 ext. 345 or visit www.cccnj.edu/safk.

PERKINS CENTER FOR THE ARTS! Day Camp for children ages 5-11. Visual & Performing Arts Classes based on the theme of Heroes, Myths, and Legends! Voted Best Summer Camp in SJ Magazine’s Reader Poll, 2009! Extended camp day available through partnership with the YMCA. Call (856) 235-6488 or visit www.perkinscenter.org.

SIGN UP FOR SUMMER CLASSES AT THE LEADING DANCE SCHOOL IN THE AREA! Core Academy of Movement has got you covered...a renowned early childhood dance program, award winning contemporary dance company and hard hitting adult fitness classes! Winners of Best of Burlington 2009!

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GREAT TIMES DAY CAMP Two in-ground pools, a 25 acre lake, tennis and swim lessons, arts & crafts, full Great Times sports program. Over 10,000 sq. ft. of air-conditioned Day Camp space. All State Certified teachers as counselors. Hot lunch, transportation and weekly trips are included no extra charge. www.greattimesdaycamp.com.

ABRAKA-who?

With MANY THEMES to choose from, KIDS LOVE ABRAKADOODLE where Art Camp is all about MESSY FUN and CREATIVITY! A GREAT VALUE at only $99 for 4 half-days, includes ALL materials & supplies!

Visit www.abrakdoodle. com/NJ01 for info or call (856) 914-0521.

NOW HIRING! South Jersey MOM is looking for advertising sales reps who have: · Passion, commitment and energy to be the best · The ability to prospect, network and canvas on a daily basis · Exceptional verbal communication and written skills · A home office, dependable vehicle and willing to make cold calls · Knowledge of businesses and services in South Jersey that cater to families and children.

SPORTS & MORE DAY CAMPS: CAMP SAM AND CAMP GLAM Camp SAM, sports-oriented fitness & team spirit. Camp GLAM lets girly girls revel in manicures & fashion shows. 11 wks, 9a-4p, before & after care available. Ages 5-14. Flexible Scheduling: 3/5 day camps. Weekly themes, Waterslide & Rockwall and more. (856) 401-8111, www.sportsandmorefun.com INTERACTIVE KIDS SUMMER CLASSES For All Kids: Drama/Theater Camp and Let’s Get Ready for School. For Special Needs: Weekly Groups: Play, Social Skills, ADD/HD Specific, Teenage Young Adult & Adult Groups. Intensive Social Skills Group & Peer Buddie Pairings.

(856) 810-7599, www.interactivekidsllc.com.

YMCA OF GLOUCESTER COUNTY SUMMER DAY CAMP Summer Day Camp for grades K-10. Enjoy field trips, swim lessons, creative arts, sports and special events! Our expert staff is caring and creative. June 21 – September 3. Incredible value starting at $135/wk. Extended Day is available.

Visit www.ymcagloco.org for info.

MALVERN SCHOOL SUMMER PROGRAM Join the Malvern School summer program that includes arts and crafts, science & nature, special visitors, water play, music, athletic activities and much more! Ages 6 wks to 8 yrs. Locations in Voorhees, Washington Township and Erial.

1-877-Malvern or www.MalvernSchool.com

Saint ST. ISIDORE'S DAYCARE CENTER Isidore’s SUMMER CAMP For children 2 1/2-6yrs. Featuring weekly themes Daycare including daily science, reading, arts & crafts and Center outdoor fun. June 28-August 23. Full and Part time sessions - small classes. Call for more information (856) 696-0506.

Position pays generous commission and bonuses and offers flexible schedule.

Interested applicants send cover letter and resume to adrienne@southjerseymom.com 38 | May 2010

Visit our website and sign up for our e-newsletter

All Kids First Summer Camp Gets All E's for

EXCELLENT!

An Exciting and Enriching program full of Enjoyable Exploration..

NOW Enrolling: Ages 8 wks - 5 yrs

1385 Magnolia Road Vineland, NJ 856.405.0711 www.allkidsfirstnj.com

Our program is Energizing and Encouraging!

Children Engage in various activites.

Different theme each week.

An Enthusiastic Environment at All Kids First!

CÂ’mon, LetÂ’s Go...

Expedition: Earth

Where kids have summer

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t get wild, fun as they dig dive dig deep, deep, d ive iin, n, blast off o

GO O Green!

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Each camp learns two routines!

Tumbling! Arts & Crafts everyday!

Design and decorate your own t-shirt with sequins, rhinestones and puffy paint! Create a jazzy hat! Informal performance on the final camp day!

FFor or A S Summer ummer P Program rogram Close Too H Home Visit C lose T o me V isit MalvernSchool.com MalvernSchool.com

Choose your best dates: Monday-Thursday July 12-13-14-15 or August 2-3-4-5 Call for brochure or register online today!

856-227-9414 or DANCEbyDiNote.com

Summer Fun Begins Here...

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Private P rivate Early Early Childhood Childhood Education Education For For 6 Weeks Weeks T Too 8 Y Years ears 5360 Route 42 • Whitman Plaza • Turnersville www.southjerseymom.com

Locations L ocations IN I N PA PA & NJ N J Call Call 1-877-MALVERN 1- 87 7- MA LV E R N for for NAEYC N A E YC accredited accre dite d sschools chools May 2010 | 39

book review

Tale Spin Stories Read-to-Me Book Reviews

By Kathryn Ross, a.k.a. “Miss Kathy”

y mom loved to read to me when I was a kid.

She did all sorts of musical things with her voice when she read aloud that I would anticipate with glee, often sending me into gales of laughter when knowing a repeated verse was just a word or two away.

Her brother, my Uncle Paul, often visited in my early years.

He was the wild and crazy single twenty-something uncle who also had the power to elicit a flood of giggles, along with shrieks and roars from this toddler/preschooler. However, he did not do it with read-aloud books and clever voices – he did it with tickles and nose tweaks.

Oh! How I hated those nose tweaks! And, oh! How I delighted in the play and anticipation of the tickles and laughter that accompanied them!

Celebrity mom, Josie Bissett, must have understood the power of the tickle and tantalizing words with her interactive gem, Tickle Monster, now packaged with companion “tickle mitts” in a clever, easy open/close box set and re-christened, Tickle Monster Laughter Kit. Bissett, busy actress, mother of two, and the 2008 Celebrity Mom of the Year, is the author of two top selling parenting books: Making Memories: Creating Memories for Your Family that Last a Lifetime, and her compilation, Little Bits of Wisdom: A Collection of Tips and Advice from Real Parents.

Tickle Monster is, literally, her “hands on” approach to creating just one of those lifetime lasting memories for mother and child.

Open the box and put on the fuzzy mitts with holes for your fingers. Then, crack open the book with your little one on your lap. Read the text, with eye-popping illustrations by Kevan Atteberry, about a lovable monster alien from outer space who comes to Earth from the Planet Tickle for the purpose of bringing joy and laughter to one and all. How will he do it? As you playfully read the rhyming verse, with all sorts of musical things in your voice, the anticipation builds until – it’s tickle time!!!

M

Follow-up Activity: Reading the book and following through on the tickle challenges IS the activity! What fun to play with your child! And what a fun book to lead you through the play! Toss the dust rag and leave the vacuum in the closet. The dishes in the sink will keep. Turn off the computer and leave the phone on its answering machine. The rest of the world will take care of itself.

Take the time to simply play and laugh and tickle your way –

40 | May 2010

THEME: Tickle MOM-ster!

BOOK: Tickle Monster Laughter Kit AUTHOR: Josie Bissett ILLUSTRATOR: Kevan Atteberry EAN: 9781932319835

mother and child – into joyful memory making and bonding moments that will reap returns for a lifetime!

Kathryn Ross is a professional storyteller celebrating the love of learning and literacy with children of all ages. She hosts Tale Spin Stories every Tuesday for preschoolers at the Cumberland Mall in Vineland. To learn more about Miss Kathy programs from Pageant Wagon Productions, visit www.pwpstorytellers.com.

Now Open in Swedesboro...

Open House-May 1st 3:30p-5:30p

Call today to enroll or to schedule a FREE introductory class.

The Little Gym of Swedesboro tlgofswedesboronj@thelittlegym.com

www.TLGofSwedesboroNJ.com • 856.467.9467

Visit our website and sign up for our e-newsletter

For a complete list of events, log onto www.southjerseymom.com

To submit your event, send an email to calendar@southjerseymom.com.

Entries are due six weeks prior to the event and are filled on a first come first serve basis. Space is limited.

ATLANTIC COUNTY Happy Cinco de Mayo (Bilingual Storytime) May 5 at 6 p.m.

Presented in Spanish and English.

Stories, songs and crafts. Ages 5–9.

Registration required by 5/3.

Atlantic County Library System, 6500 Atlantic Ave, Ventnor.

(609) 823-4614 Family Movie Night May 24 from 6 to 8 p.m.

Enjoy a G/PG movie and refreshments. For ages 8 & older. Younger ages may attend if accompanied by an adult. Registration required.

Atlantic County Library System, 451 Egg Harbor Rd, Hammonton.

(609) 561-2264.

BURLINGTON COUNTY Dove Real Beauty Workshop May 1 at 10 a.m.

Every day, we are bombarded by hundreds of airbrushed images of “beauty.” How can we encourage young girls and women to embrace a more positive image of themselves, both inside and out?

Participate in the Dove Workshop for girls. An educational and interactive sessions for girls 4–18 and their adult female mentors.

Kennedy Center, 429 JFK Way, Willingboro. RSVP (609) 871-5700.

YMCA Camp Ockanickon Open House May 23 from 1 to 4 p.m.

Camp makes more than just the memories, it gives kids a chance to connect, to grow and build bonds of lifelong friends. Join us for our open house to see what camp can do for your child. Our variety of fun, positive camp experiences will impact your child for a lifetime.

1303 Stokes Rd, Medford.

(800) 442-2267 or www.ycamp.org.

Beach Party May 8 from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Rancocas Friends School annual Mayfair event. Enjoy a day with Mom the day before Mother’s Day. Wonderful for children of all ages.

www.southjerseymom.com

Crafts, games, interactive rescue petting zoo, moon bounce, hayrides, face painting and much more. Bake sale, silent auction and Chinese auction. All proceeds benefit rebuilding the community playground. Rain or shine. 201 Main St, Rancocas. events@rancocasnj.org.

CAMDEN COUNTY Swan Lake May 7 at 7:30 p.m., May 8 at 2:30 and 7:30 p.m., May 9 at 2:30 p.m.

South Jersey Ballet Theatre will present Swan Lake. The production features Alex Eggie, 17, in the lead role, along with dozens of local dancers and several professional guest artists. Voorhees Schools Theatre, Holly Oak Dr, Voorhees.

Must reserve seat. $15. (856) 3098282 or www.sjballet@gmail.com.

Camden Riversharks May 8 at 5:35 p.m.

Ballgame fundraiser for Food Allergies. Enter a group code “foodallergy” and choose your seats in section 203 or 204. Each ticket sold will benefit the FAAN Walk for Food Allergy at Cooper River Park, N. Park Dr & McClellan Blvd, Pennsauken. Tickets $11 and $15. www.riversharks.com.

Summer Stage Open House May 5 at 6:30 p.m.

Summer Stage provides exciting programs for youth entering second grade through age 25. Catch a sneak peak of the exciting performances offered in this year’s Children’s Theatre summer season. Dennis Flyer Theatre, Lincoln Hall, Camden County College, 200 College Dr, Blackwood. (856) 227-3091 or stacy.napolitano@gmail.com.

Coffee Talk May 4 from 6:30 to 8 p.m.

Open Arms Adoption Network Presents this supportive forum for adoptive parents. A relaxed setting to discuss topical issues that may arise through the adoption journey. Treehouse Coffee Shop, Audubon. Michele LeMasney,

(609) 694-2626 or mlemasney@ openarmsadoption.net.

CAPE MAY COUNTY Game On! May 8 from 2 to 4 p.m.

Kids age 6-12 are invited to come and “Get Your Game On at the Library!” Parents are also invited to join in the fun. Video games on Wii, XBOX 360, PS3, various board games, chess and cards available.

Something for all ages to enjoy.

Cape May County Library, 30 Mechanic St, Cape May Court House. (609) 463-6354 or www.cmclibrary.org.

Teen Open Mic Night May 27 at 6 p.m.

The Library is excited to invite teens ages 12-18 for a “Teen Open Mic Night.” Mic Night is a great way to try out new material. Teens are welcome to share their music, writing and acting at the library.

First come, first served basis. Cape May County Library, 30 Mechanic S, Cape May Court House. (609)4636350 or justinh@cmclibrary.org.

CUMBERLAND COUNTY Mother’s Day Teas May 8 at 11:30 and 2:30 p.m., May 9 at 2:30 p.m.

This annual event includes a five course afternoon tea with soup, salad, tea sandwiches, desserts and teas. A special menu will be provided for children upon request.

A gift for each mother. Vintage Rose Tea Room, 132 N. High St, Millville.

Reservations required. $35. (856) 293-0500.

Blankets for Children in Haiti April 10—9:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.

The public is invited to attend this event and help to make blankets to be sent to orphanages and other locations in Haiti. Adults and children of all ages can participate.

Each person is asked to bring 1½ yards of a child friendly print in new washable fleece fabric for every blanket you would like to make. It will take between 30-45

things 2 do

May Calendar

minutes to construct each blanket. 4-H Center, 291 Morton Avenue, Rosenhayn.

(856) 451-2800 or www.co.cumberland.nj.us.

GLOUCESTER COUNTY Mother’s Day Craft May 5 from 4 to 5 p.m.

Join the fun and make a great gift for Mom. Open to children of all ages. Glassboro County Library, 2 Center St, Glassboro. (856) 881-0001 or gloucester@gcls.org.

Build Your Own Kite May 8 from 11 a.m. to 12 p.m.

Members from the South Jersey Kite Flyers will help you make your own kite. Open to children grades 1–6.

Gloucester County Library, 498 Beckett Rd, Swedesboro. (856) 241–0202 or gloucester@gcls.org.

Powerful You! Women's Network presents Grow Your Business With Free Press with Adrienne Richardson, Publisher of South Jersey MOM May 13 from 7 to 9:30 p.m.

Learn the Do’s and Don’ts of writing press releases and how to get a story about your business in the newspaper. Powerful You! Open to all women with interest networking & connecting with other women on a business level. Adelphia's, 1750 Clements Bridge Rd, Deptford. $25/members & new attendees. $35 non-members.

Contact Shaun Stephenson @ (609) 560-8370 or shaun6@comcast.net or www.powerfulyou.com for more info.

SALEM COUNTY 20th Annual Pittsgrove Day May 15 from 10 a.m. to 9 p.m.

Come enjoy a parade on Centerton road to Green Branch Park with fire trucks. The day will include fun games, pony rides, historical tour sites, food, crafters and concludes with fireworks. Green Branch Park, Upper Neck Rd, Pittsgrove. Rain date May 16. (856) 981-6101 or lnddbs@gmail.com

May 2010 | 41

resource guide

BUSINESS SERVICES

CONSIGNMENT SERVICES

PARTIES – ADULT

OWN A SMALL BUSINESS AND FEELING OVERWHELMED? Let C&C Consultants take one hat off your head! We offer bookkeeping services and financial record clean up. As QuickBooks Certified Proadvisors we also offer Set up, Training and Consulting. Free initial phone consultation. Call (856) 616-1875 or email candccnslt@aol.com; www.qkbkadvisors.com.

BRING DOWN THE COST OF GROWING UP AT KIDSTUFF! KIDSTUFF consignment shop specializes in superior pre-owned clothes for kids. Vast selection of high quality & designer brands, all in excellent condition at fraction of original cost. Recycle your child’s “still like-new� clothing back into cash! www.kidstuff.vpweb.com, (856) 589-7171.

NOOKIE PARTIES Host a Nookie Party & earn FREE romance products! Cash-n-carry available! Free 2- night vacation for party hostesses! Book your party today! (856) 397-2234 or www.NookieParties. com. Check out our New Boutique on Wheels. We bring the store to you!

CATERING SWEET SISTERS CATERING Custom catering in your home. Baby and bridal showers, birthday parties, graduations, religious celebrations. Hand decorated cookies, special occasion cakes and personalized party favors. Vegan and Allergen Free menus available. Email for your custom menu, sweetsisterscatering@gmail.com.

See our work at www.sweetsistersbaking. blogspot.com.

CLASSES SAVE MONEY—LEARN TO SEW! Does your idea of hemming involve safety pins?

Learn to sew and solve your mending dilemma.

Classes start at age 5 for hand sewing and age 8adult for machine sewing. Mother-daughter classes available. Machines provided. Contact Lori at (856) 358-8553 or Lorizstudio@aol.com. www.LorisStitchingStudio.com.

TUMBLIN’ TOTS – ADVENTURES IN EXERCISE FOR BOYS AND GIRLS Classes include movement, music, sports activities, games, listening and cooperation. For children 18 months-5 years. Visit www.tumblintots.net for class locations. Questions, contact Jenn @ (856) 912-3079. Reasonable rates to fit in your budget. Register now for summer classes!

FOR THE HOME BRIGHTEN UP YOUR HOME FOR SPRING! Let Lori's Stitching Studio help you prepare your home for spring after a dull winter, with new window treatments, bedding, slipcovers and light upholstery. For in-home consultation and fabric selection, contact Lori at (856) 358-8553, Lorizstudio@aol.com or wwwLorisStitching Studio.com. Also offering clothing alterations.

CAN'T GET THE TOYS, LAUNDRY AND OTHER KID STUFF UNDER CONTROL? If you're feeling overwhelmed by all the "stuff" consuming your house, let BB’s Clutter Solutions reduce your stress, create order and help you find a place for everything...for good. Contact Barbara Berman at (856) 912-0077 or www.bb-cluttersolutions.com and get your house back today!

TAKE A REST, WE CLEAN THE BEST! Let us customize a cleaning service for your needs.

Experienced, thorough, bonded and insured.

Free in-home estimates. Covering Cumberland, Gloucester and Camden counties. Call Maid 2 Clean at (609) 553-0431 or (856) 507-9411, www.maid2cleannj.com.

GIFT IDEAS GREAT PERSONALIZED GIFTS FOR ALL AGES At JUST FOR LITTLE PEOPLE (and others, too!) we specialize in new baby gifts both hand-painted or embroidered. Beautifully wrapped and available for pick-up at our new Gibbsboro location, or we can ship it for you. Call (856) 627-8901 or check out www.justforlittlepeople.com.

Have your Birthday Party in a CANDY STORE! Make edible creations at the and take them home!

Birthday child receives an apron & everyone signs it!

Ages: 7–12 $22/child Candy Birthday Cake Included

Aunt Selma's Chocolate & Candy Company 451 Larchmont Blvd., Mt. Laurel www.auntselmascandy.com

42 | May 2010

BOOK YOUR DATE NOW!

856.642.6363

COME H.O.M.E. TO TUPPERWARE! Get Healthier, Organized, Make & Save Money, while saving our Environment! Save Time, Space and Waste! In home Parties, Catalog Sales or join our winning team! No experience necessary, FUN Guaranteed! Ed Maher at (856) 616-1515, http://my.tupperware.com/ed or tupperwareboy@aol.com.

PARTIES – CHILDREN CELEBRATE YOUR SPECIAL DAY WITH CARVEL Order your party cakes today. Custom flavors and designs. Gluten & egg free available. Made fresh daily. Open year round. Mention this ad and receive a 15% discount for May. Have your next Party at Carvel! (856) 478-4599.

PEDIATRIC OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY NEED HELP GUIDING YOUR CHILD’S DEVELOPMENTAL JOURNEY? At The Schlinic, happy childhoods are our specialty.

Kids come for awesome motor equipment, fun sensory experiences and developmental play.

Parents come for answers, professionals who listen, assessments and research-supported intervention.

Learn more at www.schlinic.com or call Dr. Jodi at (856) 692-9292.

WILLS & INSURANCE WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN? Appointing Guardians for your minor children is one of the most important aspects of Estate Planning. Complimentary initial consultation.

Mention this ad and receive 15% discount for May. Contact James F Fahy, Esq., LLC to learn more. Call (856) 287-3107 or email JFahylaw@verizon.net.

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Visit our website and sign up for our e-newsletter

Looking for Child Care?

Promote children, families and quality learning in Gloucester and Cape May Counties

Southern Regional Child Care Resource Center, EIRC

• Parent Referrals • Child Care Subsidy Assistance • Child Adult Care Food Program • Infant/Toddler Programming • Strengthening Families • Technical Assistance on Early Care Issues • Professional Development • SAC Resources • Child Care Health Consultation • Family Child Care Registration

Monday-Friday 8:30am to 5:00pm www.eirc.org/srccrc

Now is the time for longer, thicker, darker lashes Neova Essential Lash is here!!!

No prescription needed and is clinically proven to promote longer, thicker, darker lashes.

Purchase Neova Essential Lash and receive a complimentary Eyelash Tinting (A $25.00 value) Get your Essential Lash today!!!

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1-800-MAKEOVER Lyle M. Back, M.D. Cosmetic Skin Care Specialists Of Cherry Hill www.lylemback.md www.southjerseymom.com

May 2010 | 43

Are you looking for the right mix of services for your child with special needs? Want a school that provides a whole array of special services, not just a few arbitrary accommodations?

Do you want your child to fit in, participate and be part of a family? Then you want private special education.

With individualized attention, on-site therapies, vocational training and inclusive social events, our schools deliver unparalleled services for students with special needs. New Jersey Department of Education certified special education teachers, licensed therapists and counselors provide expert, advanced instruction and support, and adhere to the New Jersey Core Curriculum Content Standards.

These unique services are provided at NO COST for families. Find out if private special education is the right fit for your child.

Our Executive Directors can help answer your questions. To find out more about what programs may be right for your child, call us at 1-800-697-8555 or visit our website at www.privatespecialedsnj.com

Brookfield Schools • HollyDELL, Inc. • Garfield Park Academy Kingsway Learning Center • Larc School • St. John of God Community Services Copyright © 2010 The Coalition of Southern New Jersey Private Special Education Schools

Finding the appropriate educational option for your child can sometimes be a complicated process. We have access to education and legal experts who can help you navigate through the process. For more information or for help in understanding your rights, call us at 1-800-697-8555.