November 2010 - South Jersey MOM Magazine

November

Has your relationship LOST that

LOVING FEELING? MORE

2010

ADOPTING AN OLDER CHILD Could this be an option for your family?

holidays for

LESS MONEY ways to SAVE on HOLIDAY FUN

10

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Ways to help you and your child SURVIVE

SEPARATION ANXIETY

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Table of Contents pg. 20-22 2010 Holiday Gift Guide mom 2 mom 8 More Holidays for Less Money10 Ways to Save on Holiday Fun 10 Adopting an Older Child...Could This Be an Option for Your Family?

12 Bye Bye, Baby! Ways to Help You and Your Child Survive Separation Anxiety

Dear Readers, sat down to reflect on my life and all I have to be thankful for. And the biggest thing on my mind is my husband. As I shared previously, we have had our marital problems in the past. There have been times when I was positive we weren’t going to make it. I’m thankful that we have.

Relationships are hard.You take two people who have their own ideas about life, love, parenting and marriage and then you mesh them together. Usually, the majority of those items you see eye to eye on, since you did pick this person to spend your life with. But a lot of the time, there are some areas where you each have a different idea of what’s “right.” And this is where the problems start...add in taking care of children and things can get pretty stressful.

As moms, we often put our children first before anyone and anything. But really, we should put our spouses first. Your children live with you for 18-22 years approximately, but if your marriage survives, you could be living with your spouse for 50+ years! That’s a LONG time. If you want your marriage to last that long, and to actually enjoy being married

I

publisher’s note

November 2010

to that person, it’s time to put more time and effort into your marriage. I know that’s hard for moms to do.

But you will be BETTER parents if you have a better marriage.

Now I’m not saying single moms or single dads aren’t good parents.

Please don’t take what I’m saying that way. What I’m saying is for those that are currently married...take a moment to reflect on your relationship. Do you still like the person you are married to? When is the last time you went on a date together? When is the last time you put as much effort into loving them as you put into loving your children?

Don’t underestimate the power and importance a strong relationship plays in your children’s lives. Take some time and tell your spouse why you are thankful for them. ✲ Your Friend and Fellow MOM,

P.S. Happy Birthday Mom

moms R women 2 14 Has Your Relationship Lost That Loving Feeling?

15 Migraines in Women 17 Lightened Up Thanksgiving

know 2 grow 24 Juvenile Diabetes Does Not Define A Child 26 Do Some Organizing Before the Holidays 27 ask the ADDvisor

features

NOVEMBER

Giveaways!

18 Why I Am Thankful 20 2010 Holiday Gift Guide

H Scrooge—The Stingiest Man in Town (Landis Theatre, Vineland)

also in this issue

H Disney on Ice presents Disney/Pixar’s Toy Story 3 (Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia)

3 5 6 19 23 28 29 30

publisher’s note nana’s 2 sense life sentences pop’s culture green mama book review things 2 do resource guide

www.southjerseymom.com

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MOM

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Publisher/Editor: Adrienne Richardson adrienne@southjerseymom.com Editorial Associate: Jeanette Giza jgiza@southjerseymom.com Advertising Inquiries: Orin Jespersen • 856.690.5565 orin@southjerseymom.com Dianne Holland • 856.278.6119 dianne@southjerseymom.com

General Advertising Info: ads@southjerseymom.com Copy Editor: Gaily Von Schlichting Production Manager: Lisa Celfo lisa@southjerseymom.com Communications Manager: Esther Donnelly esther@southjerseymom.com Photographer: Lisa Ward Photography www.lisawardphotography.com Contributing Writers: Barbara Berman, Mary Pat Correro, Brian Fountain, Linda Karanzalis, Blythe Lipman, Fran LoBiondo, Kerry L. Murphy, Renee Taylor Negin, Sharon Nolfi, Kathryn Ross, Shannon L Sadler, Judy M. Schneider, Sheila Taney, Debbie Zimmerman Submit Calendar Listing: calendar@southjerseymom.com Letters to the Editor: editor@southjerseymom.com For Any Other General Information: info@southjerseymom.com

Expectations oday, as I gave my daily thanks, I glanced back a little too long and realized, in general, I had a really bad “year.” Both my cats went to kitty heaven, my new car was vandalized, costing me a very high deductable, and I tried very hard to help someone I love and, it not only went bad, it got ugly. Ugly is when good intentions result in a negative and unexpected outcome. Ugly is what pushes you to the conclusion that you just can’t give any more. I almost forgot, I was very ill most of the year because of a late diagnosis of Lyme’s disease. This year was physically, mentally, emotionally and financially draining.

Everyone whose opinion I value tells me that some good comes out of all bad; maybe not for me, but just maybe something bad happens to me so that something good can happen for someone else. I was reminded that it is not all about me! I was also reminded not to expect anything in return, sometimes not even a thank you. I struggle with this concept. Is it too much to expect a little gratitude? It’s just not fair. I always thought that if I did my best to always do good, bad things would not happen to me. I also thought that, by the time I was a grandmother, I would be all wise and knowing and always make the right decisions.

Ha! To top it off, I was reminded to forgive!

Well, why not? Forgiveness helps you let go of the anger. So in my heart I know that I have

T

nana’s 2 sense

South Jersey

forgiven, but it still hurts. Ok, now forget and BE THANKFUL. Forget?

Be thankful? Be thankful for something big and bad? Maybe I can start being thankful on a smaller scale, focus on the little things and leave the big stuff up to God. I am thankful for the little things, like feeling the sun shine on my face…and breathing; all the simple things I expect every day. I expect to wake up, to work, to play and laugh with my grandchildren. I even give onthe-spot thanks for little things like the light changing when I am running late for work, and the cashier who just comes on shift and calls to “me” as her first customer when the person in front of me has a “price check” that promises to take 20 minutes of research. Oh wait, breathing, that’s a pretty big thing!

The next time someone asks me for help, I will surely hesitate but I will most likely, again, not say no. I will always believe helping is something I am supposed to do. The key is to give gladly with no expectations. Not easy, but no expectations, no disappointment.

Just give and DON’T look back.✲ —Nana Jean Nana Jean is a South Jersey grandmother with two daughters and six grandchildren. Enjoy her stories about her 38+ years as a mom and 20 years as a grandmother as she shares her experiences and lessons learned with lots of laughs and tears along the way.

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[

On the COVER “Cutest Kid in Town” Contest Winner: Kameron Dallas, age 4, is from Glassboro and despite his middle name he is a huge Eagles fan. His favorite pass time is going to FreeFall Adventure Airport on Sunday’s with his Pop Pop. He has a collection of 40+ WWE wrestler figurines and hopes to be a professional wrestler one day. He also loves going to his cousin’s Travis and Chad’s baseball and soccer games. Kameron speaks English and is currently learning Spanish. Photo by Lisa Ward Photography.

] November 2010 | 5

life sentences

The Birthday Plan

very year, on the last day of November, I flip my calendar forward to October of the following year. I take out a big black marker and write a note to myself: “No More Parties!!!”

I do not want to forget how exhausting it is to celebrate our daughter’s birthday. She does not just want a couple of hours with her friends, a bowl of popcorn and a movie in the basement. Well, she does want that, and more—much, much more.

But I am on to her game now. First, she wears down my party resistance.Then, it’s banners, helium balloons, matching party ware, games, favors and, oh, by the way, how about some homemade cream-filled cupcakes with piped icing and sparkly sugar decorations, which she will bring up casually as an afterthought, the night before the party. The plan spins wildly out of control. Cash sprouts wings and flies from our wallets.

Oh, no. We will not fall for that a fourth time. Because when the party and the birthday are done, she will harangue me to celebrate

E

with both sides of the family (another mandatory cake) and, after she has collected gifts from everyone we know, she will campaign for another trip to the mall.

This year, she got a little bored in August, so she opened the birthday negotiations early.

Do not let the baby face fool you, either; the kid comes on like Jimmy Hoffa, confident that she can flatten any resistance the management offers.

“What are we going to do for my birthday?” she asks casually, curling up beside me on the couch. Did I say curling? Coiling, I meant.

I start out with a low-ball offer, “How about skipping the birthday party thing this year. You invite a couple of girls to do something special, like lunch and a movie. Then we can have a cake after dinner with just the family.”

We retreat to opposite sides of the Generation Gap to strategize; she with her rank and file on Instant Message, and me with her father in a closed-door session so no one can eavesdrop on our plan.

A few days later, a counter-offer comes, this time in the car.

“Okay, Mommy. No party. How about if me and five of my friends get driven to the mall in style. We shop for a few By Fran LoBiondo hours, then get driven to the Chinese restaurant for lunch, then to the movies, then Rita’s Water Ice and then home?”

Could it be this easy? Is this the end of the Birthday escalator? Maybe she has learned the value of simplicity.

“Okay,” I say naïvely, “I think that would be lovely.” “Me too,” she said happily. “So, do you know anyone who owns a stretch limo?”

Sap, I am such a sap.

This year, instead of a party, my husband and I are booking a luxury Mediterranean cruise for ourselves. If we are going to get robbed, we want it to be by desperate pirates on the high seas. At least they know the value of money. And they are probably more grateful.✲ Fran LoBiondo of Vineland has children in grade school, high school and college. A Purdue University graduate with a degree in Journalism, she has written about parenting, food and fun for 25 yrs.

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November 2010 | 7

mom 2 mom

More Holidays for Less Money—

10 Ways to Save on Holiday Fun

By Sharon Nolfi, M.A.

T

6.

1.

Avoid Malls. Shopping malls have displays of tantalizing items for a reason – to get you to make impulse purchases. Malls are also time-wasters with prices generally higher than those you can obtain elsewhere. Besides the usual discount stores, try shops not usually associated with gift buying – office supply and hardware stores, nurseries, kitchen supply outlets.

7.

Shop with a plan. Wherever you decide to shop, save time and money by thinking about what to buy before you shop. Use a list and stick to it, unless some amazing bargain presents itself.

8.

Give homemade presents. The most traditional are baked goods and handcrafted items, but consider more creative gifts.

If you have a special skill, like sewing, gardening or cooking, give your services. Promise to alter clothes, plant a flower garden, or prepare meals for a busy family.

he holidays are approaching in a year when many families are strapped for cash. Yet everyone wants a holiday season filled with special food, decorations, parties and gifts. You are bound to spend more than usual, but you can control the amount. Consider these money-saving tips for a fun, but frugal, holiday.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Share Baking Chores and Expenses. If you want to end up with a variety of sweets, holiday baking can require the purchase of many seldom used, expensive ingredients. Avoid purchasing them all by organizing a baking exchange. Each participant agrees to prepare several batches of just one baked treat. Bakers then meet to exchange sweets so that each person goes home with several varieties.

Organize Potlucks. People like to gather to celebrate the holidays, and most gatherings include food and drink. Many people would love to get together but can’t afford the entire bill for a party. Share the expense and the fun by organizing a party where each family is assigned a particular item to bring. Plan the menu ahead and make each contribution roughly equal in cost so you will end up with everything needed for the party.

Exchange Babysitting. Shopping with children in tow is slow, frustrating and potentially expensive if you make purchases just to gain the children’s cooperation. In addition, shopping can only add to your children’s lists of things they want! Offer to babysit for a friend so she can shop more quickly and efficiently, then let her return the favor.

Shop Resale. The world of previously owned items includes both new and used merchandise, all available at a deep discount. Sources range from Goodwill and other thrift shops, to eBay and craigslist online. Even gift cards can be purchased online for less than face value. Choose thrift shops in wealthier neighborhoods because donations are often local.

9.

Decorate and wrap for less. Children of all ages like to make decorations that are usually cheaper than store-bought. Save and reuse wrapping paper and ribbon from year to year – it’s better for the environment, as well as your budget. Try fabric and yarn scraps as gift coverings, or let the wrappings be part of the gifts.

An inexpensive kitchen, bath or personal item becomes a more generous gift when wrapped in a colorful towel or scarf. If you must buy ready-made wrappings, buy them at after-Christmas sales.

10.

Shop and stockpile all year. The best time to purchase gifts and holiday items is between December 26 and November 30. Take advantage of sales as they occur, and avoid spending too much at the last minute.

Consider re-gifting presents you receive that do not suit your style.

One of these items may make a perfect gift for someone else.

Your family can enjoy abundance during the holidays at very little cost.

Try the suggestions above to make it happen. Save money and concentrate on the joy of spending time with loved ones. That is truly the best gift of the season. Happy Holidays!✲

Shop Online. Gasoline is expensive and your time is valuable. Group purchases together so you can take advantage of free shipping offered with minimum purchases.

8 | November 2010

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ADOPTING AN OLDER CHILD...

Could this be an option for your family?

By Kerry L. Murphy, MSW, LSW hen we were children, most of us never had to wonder where we would live or for how long or who our parents would be.

But, for thousands of children in our country, these are the questions that plague their minds.

Today, there are over 420,000 children in the United States foster care system. Over 110,000 are waiting to be placed in permanent, loving homes. These children are in the custody of their state and live in foster homes or residential facilities. They have been removed from the care of their birth family as a result of neglectful or abusive circumstances.

Children in the foster care system often have physical, emotional, behavioral and learning challenges because of the circumstances inflicted upon them. They need a nurturing family who can offer care, protection and opportunity for growth and development.

The Adoption Program of Lutheran Social Ministries of New Jersey (LSM/NJ) works with many out-of-state public adoption agencies to help find families for children who are legally free for adoption. LSM/NJ provides families with extensive training, home study services and assistance in their search for a child or siblings to join their family. After a family is matched and placed with a child or siblings, LSM/NJ provides supervision of the pre-adoptive placement through finalization and assists in gathering the services and support needed for a healthy family.

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IS ADOPTION RIGHT FOR YOU? Have you ever thought about adopting a child? Adopting a child can be demanding and comes with no guarantees, but it does offer endless possibilities and rewards. A loving home is a priceless gift to a child who has never experienced security, respect, dependability or trust.

There is a lot to consider when adopting an older child. Many children in the foster care system have experienced numerous losses, and it’s important to ensure that you and your family are prepared to accept the responsibility of expanding your family through adoption. If you are married or in a committed relationship, look at the stability of your relationship, examine how you balance one another and evaluate the strengths, as well as weaknesses, within your partnership. If you are already parenting, consider your children’s ages, ability to adapt and their current level of needs. Discuss the idea together and ensure that everyone’s feelings are heard and considered.

Pat and Jeff Knott of Berlin recently began parenting their pre-adoptive son and provide this advice to anyone thinking about adopting an older child, “Do your research, talk to others and be very honest with each other. Each of you will have your own ideas on what adopting an older child means. There are many questions each of you will have and they all must be answered. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Your agency is your lifeline and they are there to help and support you through the process. There will be many ups and downs, but stay focused and true to yourselves and, when you finally find that special child you can call your own, you will realize that he or she was well worth every moment.

Everyday we thank God for giving us this chance.�

Kelly and Bob Higgs of Cherry Hill have been parenting their 9-yearold son, Christian, since February. They also have two sons, Justin and Andrew, ages 18 and 21, who were adopted at ages 11 and 12. The Higgs have this to say, based on their experience as a family, “When adopting older children, it’s important to know there are so many experiences these children have had that have helped to form their personalities, their attitudes and their outlook on life, for better or worse.You need to have 10 | November 2010

Bob and Kelly Higgs with their adopted children, Andrew, Justin and Christian

a support system in place, a good therapist, great relationships with the school and realistic expectations. Don’t take things personally. Older child adoption isn’t for everyone, but if you are able to provide a loving and supportive home while setting clear and consistent boundaries, it could be for you! There is a lot of work and effort involved and we have experienced days, weeks and months of struggle and heartache, but the love, pride and joy that comes from seeing your children happy and experiencing success makes all of the difficult times fade away. We feel really blessed by how Christian joining our family has brought us even closer.� Kelly and Bob were prepared for challenging times, but were not prepared for how much joy Christian has brought to their family in such a short amount of time.

Are you ready to experience this joy and give a child something that every child deserves—a loving family? Consider adopting an older child and give them a second chance at life.âœ˛ Kerry Murphy earned her Master’s Degree of Social Work from Rutgers University and is a Licensed Social Worker. She currently works as an Adoption Social Worker with The Adoption Program of Lutheran Social Ministries of New Jersey in Burlington. She resides in Cherry Hill with her husband and two young children.The Adoption Program at Lutheran Social Ministries of New Jersey can be reached at (609) 699-4112 or at www.lsmnjadoption.org.

Free Information Meetings are held the first Tuesday of every month at 6:30 pm at LSM/NJ’s Central Administrative Office, 6 Terri Lane, Suite 300, Burlington.

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November 2010 | 11

Bye-Bye, Baby!

Ways to Help You and Your Child Survive Separation Anxiety t’s the moment every parent of a small child dreads… the good-bye. For parents of young children, it can be a gut-wrenching, heart-aching, guilt-ridden moment full of tears, protests, and quick getaways. Separation anxiety can ruin your workday, put a damper on your (rare!) dinner out and keep you trapped in your house (and chained to your toddler).

But parenting expert Kimberley Clayton Blaine says that does not have to be the case.

“Babies can show signs of separation anxiety as early as six months, and young children can experience it at almost any age,” says Blaine, licensed family and child therapist, mother of two boys and author of the new book The Go-To Mom’s Parents’ Guide to Emotion Coaching Young Children. “The good news is that separation anxiety will pass—and there are some simple solutions to help you get to that point.”

Toddlers, she says, understand about people leaving before they learn about people returning, and they can tell from your actions that you are about to leave. So for most children (and their parents), anxiety begins to build even before you’ve stepped one foot out the door.

I

Bring out the “blankie.” Transitional objects, such as a favorite blanket or stuffed toy can be reassuring to small children. “In fact,” says Blaine, “to your child, these items are a symbol of you. They represent comfort, safety and joy. When you have to separate from your child, be sure that those special 12 | November 2010

objects are close at hand to provide comfort while you are away.”

Practice makes perfect. It may seem silly for you to practice being apart from your child, but Blaine says that it can really make a big difference in the long run. If you know you are going to be away for a longer than normal period, help your child work up to that separation by taking a series of short breaks, such as running next door for a minute or going out on a brief errand.

Ask your sitter to come early. Whether you are leaving your baby for a dinner date, or you have hired an in-home sitter to watch your little one while you are at work, leaving him or her in the hands of someone else can be stressful for both you and your baby. And even though you may not realize it, your child picks up on the anxiety you are feeling, and it will affect his or her reaction as well. To give you both peace of mind, be sure to spend some time with the sitter and your child together.

Leave on a happy note. Every parent has done the sneaky “slip out the door” in hopes of making a tearless getaway. But Blaine says this is actually doing more harm to your baby than good. Just because your child doesn’t see you leave doesn’t mean he or she won’t eventually notice your absence. And, in order to alleviate separation anxiety, you want to make sure your child is associating happy thoughts with your coming and going. Let your child see you leave, even if it triggers the waterworks—

and make sure there is a fun activity scheduled immediately following your departure.

“It’s hard to see your child cry when you leave,” sympathizes Blaine. “But if you continue to sneak off, [your child will] become even more worried that you might disappear at any random time.”

Ditch the guilt. There aren’t many things that pull at your heartstrings more than having to leave a crying child who is reaching out for you. Situations of separation anxiety can create a sense of overwhelming guilt for parents.

You want to be there for your child, but there are times when you just can’t. And it’s not healthy for either of you if you constantly feel trapped in the situation. Remind yourself that this is a stage and you both will get through it.

You aren’t a bad parent for leaving your child in tears. In fact, your efforts are working to raise a healthy, independent adult!

“Don’t minimize your child’s experience by getting resentful or angry if he [or she] goes into a tirade when you leave,” reminds Blaine. “It’s quite normal to feel at peace with your child’s neediness at one moment and then to feel agitated and overwhelmed the next. Try to find ways to balance your need for his [or her] independence with his [or her] needs to expand [your child’s] world and feel safe. You’ll both be the better for it.”✲ Kimberley Clayton Blaine, MA, MFT, is the executive producer of the online parenting show www.TheGoToMom. TV and author of The Go-To Mom’s Parents’ Guide to Emotion Coaching Young Children and The Internet Mommy.

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November 2010 | 13

moms R women 2

Has Your Relationship Lost That LOVING FEELING?

ouples come together because of shared interests, common goals, playfulness and passion. As time goes by, life can get in the way and couples may start to drift apart. Partners often stop seeing each other as equals, forming more of a parent/child type relationship. Children come along and people may slip from role of partner, lover and friend to that of mom or dad. The reasons that couples lose their spark vary widely, and it’s important to examine why, says Ginean Crawford, licensed professional counselor at Connections Counseling, LLC, in Woodbury. Once couples realize why their relationship has changed, they can start to rebuild it.

In order to get back the spark, Crawford says couples must reconnect on three levels. She refers to them as boxes, because each aspect is its own important element.

The first is friendship. “Couples need to have fun together. Go out and do something playful,” Crawford says. She suggests activities such as taking a class together or partaking in a fun activity you might normally do with your kids. She also advises couples to become each other’s best friend. She voices concern about sites like Facebook, where it’s easy to relate and connect to others, which can draw the connection away from your partner.

Alice Meeks, sixth grade science teacher from Cumberland County and mother of three boys, agrees that one of the keys to her strong marriage is friendship. “Kevin and I are best friends,” she says of herself and her husband. “No matter how small, Kevin is the first to know anything.”

With three boys, ages 16, 6, and 2, they do not always have time for date nights. But, says Alice, they make time for each other every day, whether it’s talking in the kitchen while preparing dinner or at the end of the day.

The second box, according to Crawford, is intimacy. Physical contact and closeness of a non-sexual nature helps recreate a bond between two people. Holding hands, snuggling or even a back or foot rub can go a long way in achieving that goal.

Alice and Kevin, who are celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary this month, still snuggle when they go to sleep at night. Says Alice, “That lets us know how important we are to each other.” Crawford says these are forms of contact that feel good in and of themselves. She stresses the importance of non-sexual touch and urges couples not to skip over this or allow the contact to become sexual. She suggests setting up boundaries ahead of time if necessary.

Of course, sex is an important part of a relationship, and is the third box in rekindling the spark. Crawford reminds couples that this aspect of a relationship is important to ensure that both partners’ needs are being met. Sex in a relationship helps partners feel wanted, connected, trusted and loved. Though the three boxes are separate, here is where they fall

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14 | November 2010

By Renee Taylor Negin into line. Couples who succeed in reconnecting on a friendship level and one of physical closeness and communication are more likely to find their way back to a sexual reconnection.

Whether your relationship has lost that loving feeling or not, it’s important to remember the three elements Crawford refers to as equally important in maintaining a loving and healthy relationship. Take time to rekindle the flame that sparked your relationship. See a counselor who specializes in relationship and marriage if necessary. Enjoy each other and remember your relationship is the one your children will model their own relationships on, so make it the best it can be.✲

Connections Counseling, LLC “Renewing Relationships, Rebuilding Lives, Restoring Hope” Counseling Services Offered for: COUPLES • Drifting relationships • Wounded relationships due to affairs, pornography & sexual behavior problems • Grieving couples due to the loss of a child/infertility • Relationships in conflict & communication breakdown • Couples struggling with work-life balance

CHILDREN, TEENS & ADULTS • Coping with the stress of divorce, single parenting, blended families & other unexpected life transitions • Struggling with depression, anxiety & disordered eating • Burdened by grief & loss • Overwhelmed by school problems & bullying • Haunted by emotional, physical & sexual abuse

All of our services offer a Faith-based option Call us today to begin reclaiming life for you and your loved ones!

856.845.4447 Connections Counseling, LLC • Woodbury, NJ • www.connectionsnj.com Day, evening and weekend appointments Visit our website and sign up for our e-newsletter

MIGRAINES in women

By Judy M. Schneider, IBCLC umberland County resident Jill McClennen began having headaches at about age ten. Now, more than two decades later, expecting her first baby in December, the migraines continue. All too familiar is the pain in her neck and the back of her head that starts as a mild, normal headache, warning that the “beast” is about to raise its ugly pain.

“Usually, it begins one sided in the back of my neck, moving across my head, stopping just behind my eye. It feels as if my eyes are bulging and going to pop out of my head. My husband and I have learned that stress is a significant trigger, aggravated by bright lights, noise and strong smells. I see halos around lights so I cannot drive with a migraine attack.

Pregnancy has not changed my headaches’ intensity or frequency, except there is less medication that I can take. I depend on simple measures, like avoiding my trigger, ice and rest. For me, acupuncture has worked well,” says McClennen.

Migraines are a medical condition that needs to be evaluated and taken seriously. It’s thought that migraines are caused by abnormal levels of a naturally produced brain substance.These elevated levels cause inflammation, which causes blood vessels to swell and press on nerves. The compressed nerves respond with pain. Migraines have a genetic component so families can pass down the pain. Triggers are different for each sufferer.

“A comprehensive medical history and harmonious doctor/patient collaboration are vital to identifying individual headache triggers,” explains Dr. Charles Mintz of Millville. A headache diary can detect triggers.

There are differences between a tension headache, sinus headache and a migraine. A migraine can have sinus symptoms, but it’s still a migraine. A migraine is moderate to severe, often intense, throbbing or pounding, causing debilitating pain on either one or both sides. There are migraines with and without aura.The aura or sensory symptoms precede the attack

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up to 30 minutes before the pain. These sensory warnings include seeing spots, halos, flashes or zigzag lines, tingling on the head or a foggy feeling, sensitivity to light, noise, nausea and vomiting, as well as sensory symptoms that accompany the familiar pain. The frequency and duration varies for each sufferer. Most women who are plagued with migraines are between the ages of 20 and 45. As women approach menopause, the intensity and frequency seems to diminish or completely stop.

Dr. R.Todd Kirstein, a Vineland chiropractor, reports, “75 percent of my migraine suffer[ers] are women, mostly busy moms, seeking alternatives to pharmaceuticals for pain relief. Besides chiropractic care, many find life style changes, acupuncture, massage, physical therapy, biofeedback, exercise, relaxation and stress busting strategies helpful to avoid or diminish migraines.”

For many mild sufferers, an over the counter NSAID like aspirin or ibuprofen are effective, but daily use can lead to rebound headaches. Migraines are the most common debilitating headache pain that prompts patients to seek prescription medication from doctors. There are two types of drugs used, triptans (Imitrex, Zomig Maxalt) and ergot derivatives (Ergodryl, Cafergot, Wigraine).

These drugs can be given as a tablet, sublingual, nasal spray or as an injection. They are contraindicated for anyone with heart disease or elevated blood pressure.

Seek medical care for any severe or new type of headache that lasts longer than a few days. If your pattern of headaches changes with new triggers, a consultation with your primary care provider or a neurologist is appropriate. A headache with paralysis, confusion, fever, stiff neck or sudden unimaginable pain requires emergency medical care.

Judy M. Schneider has endured migraines in her younger years, but no longer suffers from them. Judy and John, her husband of 41 years, live in Pittsgrove, NJ. They have four married daughters and are expecting their 8th grandchild in February 2011.

TRIGGERS • Hunger • Sleep imbalance • Stress and anxiety • Weather changes • Poor posture • Dehydration • Motion sickness • Exercise (including sex) • Cyclic menstrual hormone changes • Environmental – strong smells, second hand smoke, noise, bright or flashing lights • Food allergies – including wine, nuts Monosodium glutamate (MSG)*, nitrates, tyramine foods** and artificial sweeteners • Caffeine excess or withdrawal • Hereditary factors (80% have a migraine family member) • Ponytail or constricting hairstyle or hat * a flavor enhancer in fast food, broths, seasonings and spices **such as aged cheese, soy products, fava beans, hard sausages smoked fish, and Chianti wine

KEEPING A HEADACHE DIARY • Write down each day you have a headache • Time it begins and ends • Where and what you were doing at the beginning of an episode • Activities, food and drink during prior 24 hours • Stressors • Menstrual cycle data • Any other patterns or observations

November 2010 | 15

The Center for Autism Research at The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia is looking for participants for a research study focusing on early brain development.

Who are we looking for?

• Infant siblings of typically developing children • Infant siblings of children with autism

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ith Thanksgiving Day rapidly approaching, it’s appropriate to step back and consider the true meaning of the holiday. Now is a great time to give thanks to family, friends, life, our home, our environment, all that is good‌and, of course, food! Yes, the Thanksgiving meal has taken on a mind of its own. We are bombarded with advertisements of high-calorie casseroles, breads and pie a la mode.

However, you can still have a great meal while keeping it low fat and simple. All it takes is some careful planning.

Here are a few tips on how to put a healthy twist on familiar favorites and lighten up your Thanksgiving feast.

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Turkey is a must. Do not mess with the favorite family recipe. Instead, chose the white meat over the dark to save some fat and calories.

Potatoes are a tradition on the Thanksgiving table. To lighten up any sweet potato recipe, cut out the butter and excess sugar and use orange juice and a little brown sugar instead. For regular mashed potatoes, use low-fat sour cream or fat-free Greek yogurt for a creamy consistency.

Vegetables can be roasted or steamed instead of pouring on the butter and cheese sauce. Roasting brings out the deep, sweet flavors of root vegetables that will satisfy the strongest sweet tooth at the table.

Pumpkin pie is a classic Thanksgiving dessert that everyone looks forward to. Lighten up your pie with fat-free ingredients and a low-fat graham cracker crust instead of pastry.

Enjoy preparing these delicious, lightened up versions of traditional fare. Then invite your family and friends over to give thanks and acknowledge everything for which you are grateful.

By Debbie Zimmerman LAYERED NO-BAKE PUMPKIN PIE Ingredients: 4 oz. low-fat cream cheese, softened 1 tbsp. sugar 1 tbsp. milk or half and half 1 low fat graham cracker pie crust 1 c. fat free cold milk 2 pkgs. vanilla pudding and pie filling (4 serving size) 1 (16 oz.) can pumpkin 1 tsp. ground cinnamon 1/2 tsp. ground ginger 1/4 tsp. ground cloves 1/2 tsp. nutmeg whipped cream

Directions: Mix cream cheese, 1 tablespoon milk and sugar in large bowl with wire whisk until smooth.

Spread on bottom of crust. Pour 1 cup milk into bowl. Add pudding mix. Beat with wire whisk until well blended, 1 to 2 minutes.

(Mixture will be thick). Stir in pumpkin and spices with wire whisk. Put on top of layer of cream cheese in pie shell. Let this set for at least 4 hours, preferably overnight. Serve with whipped cream on top.

MAPLE ROASTED ROOT VEGETABLES Ingredients: 3 carrots, peeled and cut into 1-in. chunks 2 parsnips, peeled and cut into 1-in. chunks 1 large sweet potato, peeled and cut into 2-in. chunks 1 butternut squash, peeled and cut into 2-in. chunks 2 turnips, peeled and cut into 1-in. chunks 2 tbsp. melted butter 1/4 c. pure maple syrup

Directions: Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Combine vegetables with butter and maple syrup in large baking dish. Cover with foil. Bake 30 minutes.

Uncover baking dish. Turn down oven to 350 degrees and bake an additional 10 minutes.

LIGHTER SWEET POTATO PIE Ingredients: 1 pound sweet potatoes, cooked and peeled 4 tbsp. butter, softened 1 (14 oz.) can non-fat sweetened condensed milk 1 tbsp. grated orange peel 1 tsp. vanilla extract 1 tsp. ground cinnamon 1 tsp. ground nutmeg 1/4 tsp. salt 2 large eggs 1 prepared low-fat graham cracker crust Directions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix sweet potatoes and butter in large bowl until smooth. Add remaining ingredients and mix well. Pour into graham cracker crust. Bake 35-40 minutes or until golden brown.

Debbie Zimmerman is a Certified Health Coach and Founder of Turning Leaf Nutrition and Wellness, LLC. She leads community and corporate workshops on nutrition and healthy eating and also offers supportive coaching for individuals to inspire them to achieve optimum wellness. For more info, visit www.turningleaf-wellness.com. For more easy, fresh recipes visit www.whatscookingwithdebbie.blogspot.com.

www.southjerseymom.com

November 2010 | 17

Why I Am Thankful

By Blythe Lipman

I

n our fast paced world, it’s sometimes difficult to take time to stop and smell the roses. Our shaky economy, oil spills, home foreclosures and many other ills that affect our world make it much easier to complain and find the negatives than to be thankful for the positives.

If you are a parent, most days you are probably so tired that you just go through the paces one activity at a time, forgetting to enjoy any of it.

Children grow up so quickly; you do not want to miss a minute. They give us so many things to marvel at as they blossom and grow. Stop, take a deep breath, relax and enjoy each day. Look around and you will see there are so many reasons to give thanks.

Here is a list of things to be grateful for. See if you can come up with your own list. v I am thankful that I can tuck my children into their beds each night, knowing they are safe. v I am thankful that my spouse is employed, even if they don’t like their job. v Nothing makes me more thankful than to wake up in the morning and be greeted by the biggest of smiles from my children! v I am thankful when my toddler says, “Look mommy, I all dressed!”— even though she has her heavy sweater on with shorts and flip flops! v I am thankful that my child wants to help me beat the eggs for breakfast, even though we might be a few minutes late for school.

v I am thankful that I can watch my toddler run excitedly into her preschool classroom with a quick wave, even though she forgot to kiss me good-bye. v I am thankful for my extended family, even though we might not always get along. v I am thankful when I find a handwritten invitation from my husband inviting me out on a date! v I am tickled to hear my hubby’s excitement when he nonchalantly calls just to say “hi.” v I am thankful that I get to sleep all night because Daddy takes the 2 a.m. feeding. v I am thankful and overflowing with and gratitude when I look at my wonderful family. And grateful that we are all healthy, happy and filled with love.

Remember, as the great philosopher, Winnie the Pooh, says, “Sometimes the smallest things can take up the most room in your heart.”✲

Blythe Lipman is the president of Baby Instructions. She is passionate about babies, toddlers and their parents. After working in the field for over twenty-five years, she wrote her third award-winning book, HELP! MY BABY CAME WITHOUT INSTRUCTIONS which is available at www.babyinstructions.com.You can hear Blythe’s weekly radio show on Mondays, 11am EST @ www.toginet.com. Blythe is available for in-home, video and telephone consultations.

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18 | November 2010

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Game On!

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pop’s culture

ELECTROLYSIS

ast night, at the Fountain house, there were gumdrop mountains to scale, chutes to slide down and ice to be broken. There were winners, losers and some questionable sportsmanship. That is how it goes on family game night!

We started the evening

By Brian Fountain with Don’t Break the Ice. But let’s face it, any game that gives a kid a hammer and requires them to be gentle isn’t going to be around for very long. Molly started off well and used a steady hand, up until Sadie abruptly ended the contest by making “crushed ice.” The skateshod polar bear atop the ice never had a chance! After the hollering subsided, we moved on to Chutes and Ladders.

“I want to go to the chocolate swamp,” Jack said, as he knocked the spinner completely off the table. After explaining to him that we were not playing Candy Land, he laughed, retrieved the spinner and announced that he no longer wanted to play. “Can you tell me when it’s my turn to play Candy Land?”

The game was afoot. Sadie started off with an early lead, as would any player who takes three consecutive turns. Molly was right on her tail. (I mean that literally – Sadie was wearing a monkey costume and her big sister was a little too close!) As we approached the final turn, it was anyone’s game. Molly needed to spin a four, while I needed a two.

After spinning the two that would propel me to victory, I quickly created a diversion and moved my piece a single space, allowing my oldest another crack at a win. Molly slid her piece across the finish line and claimed Chutes and Ladders supremacy, as any sweet six-year-old should. She smiled wryly, looked up at her dear old dad and shouted her familiar refrain when beating us at board games, “I smoked you!”

In an attempt to regain my dignity, I quickly pulled out Candy Land and called Jack in as my reinforcement. My son galloped into the room, deftly avoiding Sadie who had suddenly announced, “Me tired!” and promptly fell asleep on the floor with her monkey tail in the air.

The game started out fast and furious as the three of us took turns in the lead. It was not long before Jack chose to linger in the Peppermint Forest, making it a two-person race. Molly touched my arm and I turned to see her wiggling her nose in the air.

“Do you smell that?” she asked with concern on her face. I looked at her curiously. “Is that smoke?” she joked.

She started laughing maniacally as she took her next turn. I chuckled to myself as she lost a turn and wound up languishing in the chocolate swamp. I won and gloated (just a bit). Jack, by this time hypnotized by all the treats on the game board, requested some candy and we wound up game night by searching the pantry before tooth brushing time. There’s nothing like a handful of M&M’s to take the sting out of a crushing defeat! Win or lose, game night in our house is always extra “sweet!”✲ Brian Fountain lives in Winslow Township with his wife and their three young children. He is an Atlantic City restaurant manager and writes about the joys and struggles of raising a family from a father’s perspective.

www.southjerseymom.com

November 2010 | 19

Books

(available anywhere books are sold)

The World Almanac for Kids 2011

Good, Better, Best Wines, A No-Nonsense Guide to Popular Wines

What will kids remember most about the year 2010? Just ask them about singing to their favorite Justin Bieber song, watching Drew Brees take the Saints to Super Bowl XLIV victory, or seeing the world come together during the Winter Olympics.

The World Almanac for Kids has been designed with hundreds of new photos and tons of excitement on every page. Ages 8 – 13. $13.99

While wine connoisseurs are swirling and sniffing expensive wines that are tediously hard to find, the rest of America is just drinking wine. Popular wine. Big Brands can spell terrific value but you need to know which bottles to buy. This is where Good, Better, Best Wines comes in. It’s small enough to pop in your pocket and take with you to shop. And it’s user-friendly enough to flip through on the fly. $12.95

The Games Bible: Over 300 Games – The Rules, The Gear, The Strategies This book has 349 games for big or small groups, indoors or outdoors, walking down a street, waiting in a drive-thru, or standing in line for the movies. The book’s index is Zagat-like and games are listed by type, occasion, number of players, mood, etc. Learn how to host a game night, add some energy to a casual dinner or engage and keep children entertained. $15.95

Dora & Diego Let’s Cook These easy-to-make dishes emphasize ingredients that are part of a balanced diet like fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and low-fat dairy. It includes a range of Latinthemed dishes, like Benny’s Breakfast Burritos and Incan Quinoa Pudding. This book turns getting kids involved in the kitchen into an exciting and educational adventure. $16.95

The Wubbulous World of Dr. Seuss Go beyond Whoville, past the green eggs and ham, and fans will discover the new side of Dr. Seuss, with the release of There is Nothing to Fear in Here. In addition will be two re-release classics. $9.98 and up.

Clothing Dora’s Christmas Carol Adventure This DVD is filled with original songs and exclusive extra scenes, this Christmas special will become a holiday favorite for the whole family. When Swiper tries to swipe the Christmas Star from Dora’s Nochebuena Party, he lands on Santa’s naughty list. To get back to the nice list, Dora must help Swiper travel to the past, the present, and the future to discover the true spirit of Christmas. $19.99

20 | November 2010

For Two fitness This will be your favorite tank, and will draw compliments everywhere you go – the gym, the studio, or just out to lunch! Silky performance fabrics and special design details feel great, look great, hug your bump and grow with you. $39.99, www.fortwofitness.com

Friendship Book In a world where people are continually plugged in and online, it’s nice to know there is a safe and educational networking tool that gets kids away from the computer and connecting with their friends. A delightful book with lively illustrations and written prompts that encourage kids to collect the special moments.

Once the book’s owner has filled in their likes, dislikes, birthday, etc, the book is passed on to a friend gathering their information as well. And always, the Friendship Book is returned to the owner and he or she will decide where the book goes next. $18

DVDs

(available where DVDs are sold)

Little Angels Video Through images and music, this collection is the perfect way to expose young children to Christianity and the importance of faith and love as they also grow and expand their minds.

Little Angels product line is the only early childhood CD and DVD collection of its kind, one that sparks a child’s imagination and promotes core Christian values. The collection consists of two DVDs, a CD of hymns and three iPhone applications. $3.99 and up, www.littleangelsvideo.com

Garanimals Easy to pair and fun to wear. Staying true to its heritage as well as up to speed style, Garanimals dedicates itself to providing quality, affordable and adorable apparel that’s easy for moms to match for newborns through 5T. The new Garanimals line of athletic and casual shoes completes the look with quality, stylish options great for playtime or going out. $3 and up, Sold exclusively at Wal-Mart.

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In The Mood Nail Polish

For Her

What is your mood? These playful nail polishes change color based on your body temperature, your mood, the heat of your latte or the chill in your iced coffee. And they will continue changing back and forth as long as you wear them.

Amuse yourself by guessing what shade your nail polish will be at any given moment. $32 for six piece set, www.qvc.com

Wendell August The new Upcycled Jewelry collection is a versatile and unique gift for your loved ones. Layered or worn alone, dressed down or dressed up, modern or traditional, this jewelry will suit any woman’s tastes. Prices vary, www.wendellaugust.com

Games & Video Games

(available where video games are sold)

Grease Based on the original high school musical, the family-friendly, dancing/singing game delivers an active and exciting interactive experience that will ignite Grease fever among both new and lifelong fans. Loaded with fun mini-games, players can sing songs from the film, dance the hand jive and much more. For Wii and Nintendo DS. $29.99 and up.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid Cheese Touch Game

Nest Fragrances Give your holiday décor the perfect finishing touch with the limited-edition Nest Holiday Candle.

Embellished with gold vessel and festive red box, the aroma of a sparkling holiday season is created by blending pomegranate, mandarin orange, pine, cloves and cinnamon with a hint of vanilla and amber. The perfect addition for the holidays. $14 and up, www.neimanmarcus.com

Scooby-Doo and The Spooky Swamp Join the gang in an all-new adventure to uncover the mystery behind a strange swamp girl and her peculiar cauldron of brew. For the first time, kids can jump in as any of the Mystery, Inc. characters (including Scooby-Doo) at any time to travel beyond the swamp and into other haunted locales.

For Wii, Nintendo DS and PlayStation 2. $19.99 and up.

Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore A hilarious action-platformer game that draws upon the hightech gadgetry and high-stakes espionage that takes place in the secret war between cats and dogs. Players will have to fight Kitty Galore’s agents using their animalistic acrobatics to make their way through various levels and obstacles. Run, jump and fly to the rescue. For Nintendo DS. $29.99

Family Fun

Kids will face creative, social and intellectual challenges as they move around the game board. But beware – wrong answers could get them stuck with the moldy cheese that was found on the basketball court. $19.99, available at Toys R Us, Barnes & Noble and Borders.

Start your own family game night tradition with Hasbro games. From updated classics to innovative new games, these favorites make wonderful gifts for children, teens or adults in your life. Prices vary, available at Wal-Mart, Target, Toys R Us and other retailers.

All That Glitters Customized clothing shows off your child’s unique sense of style and fashion. Customize sparkling clothing for babies, toddlers, girls, tweens, teens and women. This savvy online boutique has hundreds of designs to choose from. Plus they are a step above the rest with their heat-set crystals that won’t fall off in the wash or dryer. Prices vary, www.justjen.com

Chalet Knit Slipper Sock Take the nip out of cold winter nights with these cozy chalet slipper socks. Knit of warm, breathable wool in classic Nordic patterns, these slipper socks are a comfy, essential accessory for the winter season. $40, www.thecompanystore.com

RedSnapper Whimsical embroidered bibs Perfect for a gift for grandma’s cutie, a visit to a new mom or a baby shower. These adorable gifts stand out from the rest and spark conversation. They add a whimsical touch to popular baby themes and no gift wrap required. $18, www.aladyandherbaby.com www.southjerseymom.com

Have you ever missed snapping a button on your child‘s onesie?

Here is the answer. RedSnapper has created a patented red snap on all of their products for you to be able to get it right the first time, every time. Baby clothes should be as trendy and unique as yours are. They strive for all of their designs to be modern and stand out with style so that you and your baby do too! $16.99 and up, www.redsnapperbaby.com November 2010 | 21

Buzz Lightyear Ultra Blast Gauntlet

Toys

This forearm gauntlet will help your favorite space commander save the universe with lights, sound effects and laser mode; an ultra blast mode even activates a pop-up scope to help target villains. $29.99, available at major retailers.

Shox Scooter

My American Girl Doll

Prepare to be “shocked!“ The first-ever active shock absorber scooter that allows riders to perform higher, faster, more awesome tricks! Unlike traditional scooters, the Shox Scooter’s supreme shocks increase a rider’s speed and air-time, making stunts bigger and better. $59.99, www.shredsled.com

Create the doll that’s just right for you. Each doll can be personalized to be as uniquely special as the girl she belongs to and comes with a fashionable outfit, a charm-keeper necklace and a code to unlock innerstaru.com, a fascinating world of online play just for girls and their dolls. $95, www.americangirl.com

Baby Bowling Tots love all the wiggling, wobbling, tumbling action…as they bowl squeezably soft balls into these adorable dinos!

6 soft-stuffed dinos and 2 big, 4” balls are covered in rugged vinyl, so they’re a cinch to wipe clean. Set comes in a handy, zip-shut tote for easy storage. Ages 1 – 3 yrs. $12.95, available at Lakeshore Learning Materials in Cherry Hill or at www.lakeshorelearning.com.

My Mini Golf Mini Golf is fun. Golf anywhere, even in the living room.

The My Mini Golf system may be fun for kids, but everyone loves mini golf, and all ages will enjoy it. Whether an outdoor group activity or a bit of fun at home with the kids, My Mini Golf is always loads of fun anytime or anywhere. $169.95 and up, www.startingtimegolf.com

The Allowance Game This fun, fast-paced game teaches kids to handle money, make change and more…as they save and spend their allowance! For 2-4 players. Ages 5 – 11 yrs. $16.95, available at Lakeshore Learning Materials in Cherry Hill or at www.lakeshorelearning.com

For Him Every Man Jack Guys are creatures of habit and when it comes to grooming, even more so. Give your man a kit that supports his daily routine. Holiday kits allow you to truly do it yourself and build a custom kit that you know he will love. $25 and up, www.everymanjack.com

Barbie Quad Skates Colorful, comfortable quad skates are great for kids as they are easy to balance on 4 wheels. Barbie Quad is adjustable to four sizes, so girls can use their skates for a longer time- the skates “grow” as the child grows! Comfortable padded uppers and stable quad design. $39.99, available at Wal-Mart, Target, Toys R Us and other retailers.

Ionic Clean

Autoglym Cold and wet wintery conditions can take their toll on any car, and the added presence of road salt can accelerate the corrosion of exterior surfaces. This holiday season give him the gift he can actually use and benefit from. From High Definition Wax to Super resin polish Autoglym has all you need. $9.99 and up, www.autoglym.com

Attach a garden hose, and as water flows through the Ionic Clean chamber, ionic exchange occurs, removing minerals and impurities from the water. As the newly purified, de-ionized water sprays over the surface you are cleaning, dirt and grime attach to the de-ionized water and rinse away, leaving an ultra-clean, spot-free surface. The de-ionized water even leaves an ionic charge that actually repels dirt and keeps the surface cleaner longer – and all this with no need for drying! $249, www.homeright.com

Shark 2 In 1 Vac-Then-Steam

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ach American generates about four pounds of trash per day according to the EPA. The good news is that we are recycling more of that trash than ever before. But we are still filling up the landfills. The biggest culprits are convenience products, such as fast-food packaging, disposable diapers, plastic bags and supermarket product packaging. All of these things make our lives easier, but are hard on the planet. Can we decrease those four pounds or even eliminate them? It would be tough, but I challenge all of you to try it for at least a day. Here are some suggestions on how to lower that number:

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4. Package leftovers and lunches/snacks in reusable containers instead of using foil, plastic wrap and plastic baggies.

5. Use only reusable bags. Avoid plastic bags.

6. Eat whole foods rather than packaged goods.

7. Buy products that you can reuse.

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Start small with one item and gradually add another. It will be difficult in the beginning, but the changes will become part of your daily routine like brushing your teeth. I would love to know how you did and what you did. Email me at simigirl1@gmail.com.✲ Sheila Taney has two children and resides in Cherry Hill. She is passionate about teaching her children and others how they can participate in saving the environment.

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November 2010 | 23

know 2 grow

Juvenile Diabetes Does Not Define A Child

By Shannon L. Sadler

D

octors are still puzzled over exactly what causes Type 1 diabetes, most commonly referred to as “juvenile diabetes.”

Insulin is a hormone produced by beta-cells made from the body’s pancreas, which is responsible for moving glucose from food to other parts of the body for energy. However, in those with Type 1 diabetes, the immune system attacks the beta-cells, therefore keeping insulin from being released into the body. Without insulin, glucose stays in the bloodstream and, if left untreated, can cause serious damage to the organs. Complications from Type 1 diabetes can cause blindness, kidney disease, heart disease and stroke.

The Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF) raises money for researchers who work with the Foundation and other researchers who work specifically with juvenile diabetes. According to the Foundation, approximately 30,000 Americans are diagnosed with diabetes every year. Over half those diagnosed are children. That means 35 children are diagnosed every day, a little more than one child per hour.

“The mission [of JDRF] is to find a cure for juvenile diabetes and its complications,” says Robin Berger, Developmental Director of the South Jersey chapter of JDRF. One of the biggest fundraisers is Walk to Cure, which raised over a million dollars last year.

24 | November 2010

Berger has recently seen a surge in participation from those living in South Jersey.

“With over 5,000 walkers [this past year], we’ve outgrown Cooper River Park and moved to Campbell’s Field on the Waterfront in Camden,” says Berger. The annual Walk to Cure takes place on October 24, 2010.

RAISING A CHILD WITH DIABETES Karen Buccolo of Pittsgrove has a son with juvenile diabetes. In December 2008, she started noticing signs that something was not right with Joey, who was 6 years old at the time.

She first became concerned when Joey started having mood swings and was making frequent trips to the bathroom. He was also excessively thirsty. On one occasion, Joey came to her and said, “Mommy, I went to the bathroom six times today.”

Initially, Buccolo did not think much of it.

“I actually thought he was using the bathroom as an excuse to get out of class.”

However, Joey continued to tell her similar stories. She really became concerned when she watched him drink an entire 64 oz. bottle of apple juice in one sitting. In addition to excessive thirst and frequent bathroom visits, symptoms of juvenile diabetes can include drowsiness, changes in vision, increased appetite, weight loss and labored breathing.

Buccolo expressed concern to her mother-in-law who is a nurse. Her mother-in-law used a kit to test Joey’s blood sugar. While it was not incredibly high, Buccolo’s mother-inlaw told her to monitor Joey’s blood sugar to see if it lowered by the next day. After seeing no change in Joey’s blood sugar, Buccolo brought Joey to see his doctor who referred them to DuPont Children’s Hospital in Delaware. After several tests and witnessing Joey’s blood sugar spike after drinking a bottle

of Gatorade, the doctors at DuPont placed him on insulin therapy. Joey was given an injection five to six times a day while in the hospital, which he fought vigorously.

“To see his face was heartbreaking,” Buccolo says. At 6 years old, Joey had a hard time understanding what was happening.

Buccolo told Joey he had a condition called diabetes and that his body was no longer healthy. She explained that he needed the injections to stay healthy and that he would need to be strong. Little by little, his resistance to the injections lessened as Joey became accustomed to the routine.

Now 8 years old, Joey has an insulin pump, which delivers rapid-acting insulin through a catheter into his body. The insulin pump functions similarly to a normal working pancreas by releasing insulin into the body slowly throughout the day. Joey is not on any diet restrictions; however, his carbohydrate intake must be tracked.

MEDICAL ADVANCEMENTS Many treatment options are now available and pumps, like the one Joey uses, have become smaller and more accessible. Advancements, such as the artificial pancreas, are much anticipated and will provide a more comfortable life to those with juvenile diabetes.

“Researchers are working on a device that pairs a continuous blood sugar monitor with an insulin pump, called an artificial pancreas, which, at least in theory, would function similar to a person’s own pancreas in regulating blood sugar,” says Berger.

Through advances in stem cell research, researchers are very close to finding a cure to juvenile diabetes. In addition to fundraising, the foundation offers various outreach programs.

JDRF has a youth ambassador program for children with juvenile diabetes who want to get more involved with the Foundation and helping to find a cure. The program has no age cut off and children can enjoy activities with kids like themselves and also learn a lot about volunteering and raising awareness.

Buccolo’s experience with juvenile diabetes has raised her and her husband’s awareness and they are more active among the diabetic community and the JDRF. “I think it’s important that Joey engage with other children with juvenile diabetes, so he can see that there are other children like him,” Buccolo says. “This is not a disease that defines him; [juvenile diabetes] is not the end of a kid’s childhood.”✲ Visit our website and sign up for our e-newsletter

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November 2010 | 25

Do Some Organizing Before the Holidays!

By Barbara Berman

The holidays are fast approaching and, you guessed it, your children will soon be receiving more stuff. Now is the time to do some weeding out so you are not overwhelmed by the onslaught of new stuff. I like to think of the following four steps as early spring cleaning.

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As you go through toys and books, determine what your child is no longer playing with or reading. As you look through clothes, figure out what your child has outgrown or never wears because he or she does not like it. If you are not sure whether something fits, have them try it on.

Remember, whatever you decide to keep, put like with like.

You will then see exactly what you have left. Do you really need or want any more Play-Doh, crayons or pajamas?

STEP 2—PURGE Make sure you have plenty of bags and/or boxes for all the items you have decided not to keep. You have several choices for getting rid of the items – sell, donate or discard.

Selling could mean getting ready for a yard sale or putting the items on eBay or craigslist.

Are you realistically going to have time to have a yard sale or to sell the items on eBay or craigslist at this time of the year? Do you have room in your home to store these items until you decide you may want to have a yard sale? If you are keeping these items for a later date, label the box or bag (e.g., “yard sale”). If you decide to donate these items, this is the perfect time to explain to your child that you are giving the items away to less fortunate children and making room for new toys, books and clothes. Items that can

be discarded include broken toys or games with missing pieces.

STEP 3—CONTAINERIZE Now that you know what you are keeping, put the items, keeping like with like, in plastic containers, on hangers, etc. Since you’ve just weeded out, you probably have empty containers that can be reused or containers you bought but never used. Remember to label containers, so that when putting things away, both you and your child know where the items are.

STEP 4—ASSIGN A HOME Finally, you know what you are keeping; you have the things in containers, so now you need to find a home for them. Closets, drawers, shelves, hooks, cubbyholes and stackable crates are always good options.

By the end of this project, you will have room for new toys, books and clothes that your child will receive. Not only will you have the extra room, but you will also have containers and homes ready to put everything away.

Remember what Ben Franklin said – “A place for everything, everything in its place.”

Have a happy and stress-free holiday season!✲ Barbara Berman is the owner of South Jersey-based BB’s Clutter Solutions. She understands people’s needs to create order out of chaos and works with them one-on-one to help them develop strategies to stay organized. For more info, call (856)912-0077 or visit www.bb-clutter-solutions.com.

Visit our website and sign up for our e-newsletter

Addvisor

I am an adult with AD/HD Q. and am dreading the holidays. I struggle with organization and managing my time on a daily basis. My kids also suffer due to my AD/HD and Christmas was a disaster last year for the entire family. I had a major melt-down and already can’t wait until this Christmas is over! Do you have any suggestions to help me get through this time of year?

Having AD/HD and coping with it on a daily basis is difficult enough, let alone dealing with the stress of the holidays. These suggestions should help you to actually enjoy your holiday this year instead of suffering:

A.

• Don’t stress out over finding the right gift for adults. Make it easy on yourself and give everyone gift certificates. Gifts for children can be ordered online. This will save time driving, shopping and standing in lines.

• Prepare meals for the holiday ahead of time and freeze.

• Yes, homemade cookies are nice, but you can get by with slice and bake.

• Reduce your Christmas list and send out cards only to those you receive from. As they come in, rip off the return address label and place in an envelope so you’ll know whom to send cards to. Sign and prepare

By Linda Karanzalis, M.S. Learning Specialist/ ADD Coach

your cards in advance with your return address label and stamp. Then all you have to do is write the address on the envelope and pop it in the mail.

• Send thank you cards via e-mail. Yes, handwritten is better, but only if you can follow through. At least you will know everyone has actually received a thank you and you won’t offend or hurt anyone’s feelings.

• Select your outfits from head to toe ahead of time for holiday get-togethers. Knowing what you will wear will relieve stress and allow you to arrive on time.

• Use gift bags instead of wrapping. Go to the dollar store and buy all your gifts bags at once in various sizes.

• Remember… no one can do everything; there is only so much time with kids, jobs, spouses, etc. Choose what is realistic and tell yourself what a good job you are doing!

would be the effect Q. What of taking ‘medication holidays’ on weekends and afterschool? news. Depending on the age of the A. Bad child, learning does not stop at the end of the school day; nor does the need for improving social skills. Social skills require attention, reflection and awareness. Medication allows your child to become self-aware and learn how his or her behavior impacts how others respond to them. Starting around 13, children really begin to practice the skills they have

acquired, carrying them into their adolescent and young adult relationships. It may take an AD/HD kid hundreds of repetitions to internalize new behaviors. Medication provides improved ability of executive brain functions.

ask the ADDvisor

Ask the

How does AD/HD affect my Q. child’s ability to perform in school? adequate treatment, children A. Without with AD/HD have a greater chance of being kept back a grade, dropping out, academic underachievement and social and emotional difficulties. The two most important areas in school are academics and social skills. Their difficulty with attention, organization, impulse control and distractibility are not conducive to the learning environment. Some children with AD/HD also have learning disabilities that can cause problems with learning in reading, writing, spelling, math, speech and language. Those with AD/HD are entitled, by law, to receive a free and appropriate education. AD/HD occurs across all levels of intelligence, including the gifted. These children may even experience failure despite their high IQ due to their AD/HD symptoms.✲ Linda Karanzalis, M.S., founder and owner of ADDvantages Learning Center in Cherry Hill is the coordinator of CHADD of South Jersey, a non-profit organization serving children and adults with attention deficit disorder. Listen to her “Ask the ADDvisor‚” radio show on 92.1 FM. For more info contact Linda Karanzalis at (856) 482-0756 or at www.addvantageslearningcenter.com.

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November 2010 | 27

book review

Tale Spin Stories Read-to-Me Book Reviews

By Kathryn Ross, a.k.a. “Miss Kathy”

N

ovember kitchens smell marvelous! Apple pies, pumpkin pies, butternut squash swirled with brown sugar and cinnamon, turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce and all manner of corn concoctions to drape a Thanksgiving table with memorable meals and seasoned conversation to include the whole family!

Thanksgiving at my Italian grandmother’s house involved the bounty from her garden, so carefully planned and tended the previous spring and summer.

As a child, I remember trying to grow things with grandma’s success – but, alas, weeds, clumps, and stringy shriveled vines were all the magic I could coax from the ground.

I thought of this when I came across Tomie dePaola’s popular Strega Nona series, for which he was awarded the Caldecott Honor for its debut in 1979. The picture books feature an Old Italian woman who works her wisdom and magic to make all things right in a little Old World village. Strega Nona’s no-nonsense ways, coupled with a warm and generous heart, has made her a beloved children’s literary character for over thirty years.

DePaola’s newest title in the series, Strega Nona Harvest, debuts this season with trademark illustrations featuring an autumn palette of orange, gold, brown, green, red, and pink, filling the page with an eyeful of activity. Big Anthony thinks he can grow a garden like Strega Nona if he uses magic, and pays no attention to her wise advice in how to order the garden and properly tend it. Children compare birds-eye views of the two gardens as they grow, and cheer Strega Nona when she comes to the rescue with plenty of food for a great Harvest Party – and a lesson well learned for Big Anthony!

My own grandmother is gone now, and what was her garden for decades lies fallow. However, this story brings to life so many special memories of my own “strega nona.” Perhaps you may have a “strega nona” in your family who works Harvest Party magic for you, too!

!!

THEME: Harvest Party!

BOOK: Strega Nona Harvest AUTHOR/ILLUSTRATOR: Tomie dePaola EAN: 9780399252914

Follow-up Activity: There are lots of farm markets dotting the autumn landscape! Take a trip and visit them with the kids and try to find all the fruits and vegetables Strega Nona grew in her garden at the farm stands.

Purchase fresh from the farm and have your youngsters help in an age appropriate Harvest Party meal preparation. Think about how you might plan and order a garden for next year – and start now to prepare for a Strega Nona Harvest of your own in 2011!✲ Kathryn Ross is a professional storyteller celebrating the love of learning and literacy with children of all ages. She hosts Tale Spin Stories every Tuesday for preschoolers at the Cumberland Mall in Vineland. To learn more about Miss Kathy programs from Pageant Wagon Productions, visit www.pwpstorytellers.com.

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Visit our website and sign up for our e-newsletter

For a complete list of events, log onto www.southjerseymom.com

To submit your event, send an email to calendar@southjerseymom.com.

Entries are due six weeks prior to the event and are filled on a first come first serve basis. Space is limited. required. Evesham Library, 984 Tuckerton Rd, Marlton.

(856) 983-1444

ATLANTIC COUNTY Tree Lighting November 20 at 6 p.m.

The lighting of park lights and one of the oldest trees in town. Singing of Christmas songs with hot chocolate and cookies. 6000 Main St, Mays Landing. (609) 625-5529

CAMDEN COUNTY

Juried Artisan Event Nov. 20 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Enjoy beautiful items & fascinating demonstrations. Holiday shop with a percentage of the proceeds going to the Atlantic County Library Foundation. Come see how their local artisans “do that.”

Atlantic County Library System/Mays Landing Branch, 40 Farragut Ave, Mays Landing. (609) 625-2776 x 6304

Turkey Day 5K November 25 at 10 a.m.

Benefits the Shirley Mae Breast Cancer Assistance Fund. Cooper River Park, N. Park Dr & McClellan Blvd.

Pennsauken. (609) 561-4441 or http://shirleymaefund.com

CAPE MAY COUNTY

Holiday Bazaar and Craft Fair Nov. 13 from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Enjoy a food court, Santa Shop and many vendors. Mater Ecclesiae Roman Catholic Church, 261 Cross Keys Rd, Berlin. (856) 343-7065 or www.maternews.com

Cape May Holiday Crafts Fair Nov. 28 & 29 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Hand-made gifts and seasonal decorations at Our Lady Star of the Sea Parish Hall, Ocean St, Cape May. Adults $1. (609) 884-1011

Indian Corn Craft November 4 at 3:45 p.m.

This is a fun easy craft everyone will enjoy making. They cleverly use bright colored paper and paper bags to create one to three INDIAN CORN STALKS. Ages 5-14, Children 5-6 years old should be accompanied by a caregiver. Maple Shade Library, 200 Stiles Ave, Maple Shade. (856) 779-9767

4th Annual Wine Tasting and Auction Event Nov. 13 from 7:30 to 11:30 p.m.

YMCA Camp Ockanickon will hold its 4th Annual wine tasting event. Enjoy featured wines, a buffet dinner and both live and silent auction items.

Proceeds to benefit the Y’s mission of serving children, teens and families. $85/person. The Mansion, Plaza Way, Voorhees. (609) 654-8225 or www.ycamp.org

Self Defense for Women & Girls November 13 from 10:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.

Adult women and girls 12 years and older are invited to learn techniques for personal self-defense and building strength. Defense methods are taught against common street attacks and personal assaults.

Class taught by renowned Black Belt instructor Walter Miller. Registration

Collingswood Junior Women’s Club Open House November 2 at 7 p.m.

Have the desire to get more involved in your local community? New in town, looking to meet other women around town? Here is the perfect opportunity to volunteer for some excellent causes and make some good friends. Come out, stop by and find out more about this organiza-

BURLINGTON COUNTY

tion. The Pour House, 124 Haddon Ave, Haddon Twp. Contact Alyce Taylor at (856) 854-0482 or alycetaylor@hotmail.com for info.

Music on the Walk November 6 from 1 to 3 p.m.

Don’t miss the local aspiring musicians playing live on the Washington Street Mall, Cape May. (609) 884-5508 or info@washingtonstreetmall.com

Christmas in the Downtown: Our Miracle on Asbury Avenue November 26 from 1 to 5 p.m.

Join the merchants & Chamber in kicking off an old-fashioned downtown Christmas. Asbury Ave, Ocean City.

(609) 399-1412.

CUMBERLAND COUNTY Main Street Vineland Annual Holiday Parade November 27 from 7 to 9 p.m.

The theme is “Days of Holidays Past.”

Float and fire truck contests will be held. Rain date November 28, 5 to 7 p.m. (856) 794-8653 or www.mainstreetvineland.org The Man Who Came to Dinner November 19 & 20 at 8 p.m. and November 21 at 3 p.m.

In one of Broadway’s most celebrated comedies, an unsuspecting, socially upward Ohio family is humorously terrorized by a famous New York radio

things 2 do

November Calendar

personality, who is fool enough to slip on a patch of ice in their front yard. He commandeers their home, their telephone, their staff, their liquor, their food and their friends during a protracted and outrageous convalescence. Cumberland County College Theatre Arts, 3322 College Dr, Vineland. $10 all ages. (856) 691-8600

GLOUCESTER COUNTY Theatre & Dance: OUR TOWN November 4 at 8 p.m.

The Department of Theatre & Dance presents Thornton Wilder’s classic American drama, directed by Lane Savadove in a radical reenvisioning set in a World War I MASH unit. $10 or $5 for seniors/non-Rowan students/ Rowan staff & alumni. Rowan students are FREE with valid ID. Tohill Theatre, Bunce Hall. (856) 256-4545 or visit www.rowan.edu/theatredance.

SALEM COUNTY Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother November 20 at 2 p.m.

Sing, dance, hide from the Giant and interact with many other exciting fairy tale characters. The program combines theatre, dance, music and improvisation where audience members are cast right into the show! Ages 5 and up. $8. Come as your favorite fairytale character! You’ll take part in a costume parade to a reception where you can meet the Fairy Godmother. Appel Farm Arts & Music Center, 457 Shirley Rd, Elmer. 1-800-394-8478.

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November 2010 | 29

resource guide

FOR THE HOME GIVE THE GIFT OF ORGANIZATION THIS HOLIDAY! Do you know someone who can’t get the toys, laundry and other kid stuff under control? Let BB’s Clutter Solutions reduce stress, create order and help find a place for everything...for good. Gift Certificates available now. Contact Barbara Berman at (856) 912-0077 or www.bb-clutter-solutions.com today!

CUSTOMIZE YOUR HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS Lori’s Stitching Studio can help you prepare for a stress-free holiday. Enjoy in-home consultation and fabric selection for beautiful custom window treatments, slipcovers, bedding, and light upholstery projects. Call now for an appointment. (856) 358-8553.

Lorizstudio@aol.com, www.LorisStitchingStudio.com. WCAA Member.

GIFT IDEAS GREAT PERSONALIZED GIFTS FOR ALL AGES At JUST FOR LITTLE PEOPLE (and others, too!) we specialize in new baby gifts both hand-painted or embroidered. Beautifully wrapped and available for pick-up at our new Gibbsboro location, or we can ship it for you.

Call (856) 627-8901 or check out www.justforlittlepeople.com.

HEALTH & WELLNESS ARE YOU READY TO TURN OVER A NEW LEAF? Want to improve your eating habits, increase your energy and understand your food cravings? Turning Leaf Nutrition and Wellness will develop a personalized program that will radically improve your health and happiness. One conversation can change your life.

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30 | November 2010

SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS WITH ENZYME THERAPY! Our dietary supplements (100% non-drug related) help with bedwetting, CHIGGERS, colic, constipation, gerd and preventing the need for ear tubes. Call today to learn how enzyme therapy can change your life, naturally. Linda Keeper RN, CNC, Enzyme Therapist, (609) 476-2496.

PARTIES ABRAKADOODLE ARTY PARTIES! Celebrate CREATIVITY! Abrakadoodle CUSTOMIZED Arty Parties are perfect for BIRTHDAYS, HOLIDAY CELEBRATIONS, SCHOOL OR SCOUT EVENTS. All artwork FRAMED – the best PARTY GIFT ever! Hosted at your location; we provide ARTFULLY FUN teacher, materials & frames. Visit www.abrakadoodle.com/nj01 or call (856) 914-0521.

PEDIATRIC OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY NEED HELP GUIDING YOUR CHILD’S DEVELOPMENTAL JOURNEY? At The Schlinic, happy childhoods are our specialty. Kids come for awesome motor equipment, fun sensory experiences and developmental play. Parents come for answers, professionals who listen, assessments and research-supported intervention. Learn more at www.schlinic.com or call Dr. Jodi at (856) 692-9292.

DOES YOUR CHILD NEED SPECIAL ATTENTION? Professional Therapy Services, LLC is dedicated to providing support, resources and education to families who have children with Pediatric Developmental disabilities, Sensory Integration, and Autistic Spectrum Disorders. Individual and group services available. Call Gerry at (856) 678-4701 or learn more at www.professionaltherapynj.com.

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