FREE
2013
OCTOber
BOO-tastic
Trick-or-Treat alternatives
3
reasons to exercise
after cancer
Happy Halloween! Bully Busters
2 | October 2013
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Table of Contents
pg 16
BOO-tastic g atin Trick-or-Tre s! Alternative mom 2 mom 6 Looking Up After a Down Syndrome Diagnosis 8 Falling for a Fun Fall Festival 10 Stand UP to Bullying
moms R women 2 12 The Many Benefits of Exercise After Breast Cancer Treatment
know 2 grow 16 Boo-tastic Trick-or-Treating Alternatives 17 Stopping the Cycle of Domestic Violence
also in this issue 15 18 20 21 22
business spotlight: Booth Radiology business spotlight: Perfect Day Photography recipe corner things to do resource guide
Dear Readers,
letter from the editor
October 2013
M
y daughter declared that she doesn’t want to trick-or-treat this year. Although Halloween has not been my favorite holiday since my own days of candy scavenging, there’s always an air of anticipation when discussing costume ideas and plans to celebrate the holiday at school and home. I couldn’t help but feel a little sad that the possible end of an era is over. In her new school, students are not supposed to dress up in costumes, and I wondered if that, coupled with her distinct self-awareness that she’s not a little kid anymore, have led to this rejection. Just because the school doesn’t condone costumes doesn’t mean you can’t trick-or-treat, we told her, but still she declined. My latest fear has been realized – my daughter is growing up with or without me. Parenthood is always fraught with fear and second-guessing through each stage, each milestone, even for the most confident, knowledgeable, laidback parents, and even if the only one who knows is you alone. You can read every parenting book and blog, follow every piece of good advice, copy the moms you most envy, and uncertainty about what your child’s future holds remains. For instance, my daughter experienced extraordinary difficulties with potty training. I eagerly began the process when she was 27 months old, the recommended age according to a popular book. She expressed interest and even successfully demonstrated her skills, but after being pinched by her first potty, discovering that her little muscles weren’t strong enough, and possibly the eventual developmental delay diagnosis, all I did for several years was worry she’d never be trained. Then one day it clicked, and my fears dissipated as if they never existed.
OCTOber
A similar thing happened with my son. His energy level is high, and he’s always loved to roughhouse with other kids. Some kids even said they liked when he would “beat them up.” In this era of helicopter parenting and having been raised in a house of girls, I automatically assumed there must be something wrong with him. On occasion, parents, of what my good friend nicknamed “snowflakes”, disapproved of his “wild” behavior. All I could do was fretfully apologize and redirect him to other activities. However, I learned, despite my fear, that his behavior was more typical for boys than current trends imply. Instead of taming my bright, “beastly” boy, I found that enrolling him in more aggressive sports like football, wrestling and lacrosse offered him an outlet for that energy, and I finally stopped worrying. Sometimes, the worry over the next stage is not worth it, but with concern about each fork in the road, each new step toward your child growing up, we grow a little ourselves. This Halloween, savor every step they make in their costumes, toward every doorway where a trick or treat awaits, seeing what fits and what they’ve outgrown. I’ll fondly remember the ladybug and princess costumes my daughter’s worn and look forward to the woman she’s becoming, instead of fearing it.✲ Your friend and fellow MOM, M.B.
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H 4 passes to Coco Key Water Park Visit www.southjerseymom.com to enter to win these prizes October 2013 | 3
Why Is He So Cranky? Sleep apnea, a sleeping disorder where a person stops breathing in short intervals during sleep is not just for adults. In fact, it is estimated that up to 4% percent of children suffer from sleep apnea, many of them being between 2 and 8 years old. If you suspect your child may suffer from sleep apnea or would like to learn more about how to address the issue of mouth breathing, contact us.
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South Jersey October
MOM 2013
CEO/Publisher Christopher Ognibene • (609) 670-1794 chris@superiorgx.com Executive Editor M.B. Sanok mbsanok@comcast.net Marketing & Business Development Specialist Michelle Scianni • (856) 986-9606 michelle@superiorgx.com For General Advertising Inquiries: Marissa Josephick • (856) 537-7089 ocrazyjane@comcast.net Jennifer Kahoun • 856-906-7260 jenniferkahoun@me.com Randi Wall • 609-412-5888 Wall.randi@gmail.com Chris Ognibene • (609) 670-1794 chris@superiorgx.com Production Manager Lisa Celfo lisa@southjerseymom.com
The Candy Bank I
t’s Halloween, and imagine ALL that candy! I just thought of a way to save it, so it’s not eaten in “one gulp!” Make a Candy Bank.
It’s more of a project than I usually suggest, but it’s really simple. Find a nice size carton — perhaps at the food market — and seal up the bottom with tape. Then on the top, cut a slit in it — a wide slit — maybe it’s a hole so it’s big enough to drop the candy in and for a child to slip his hand in and pull the candy out, one piece at a time. The fun part is decorating the Candy Bank together. Paint it or cover it with gift wrap. Make it a collage and paste “stuff” on it. Use some Halloween-themed stickers to stick all over it. And, when it’s all done, write “Jake’s Candy Bank” on the top! Make a rule together — one piece of candy each day. Okay, maybe two — one in the afternoon and one at night. Hopefully, his candy will last longer and be less tempting for everyone in the family to eat it in only a day or two. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Photographer Perfect Day Photography www.perfectdayphotography.com (856) 241-3850 Contributing Writers Booth Radiology, Charlene Counsellor, Alicia DiFabio, Psy.D; Lisa Ann Panzino DiNunzio, Sharla Feldscher, Lisa Figueiredo, Stacy McGuigan, Lisa R. Mele, Dr. Kelly N. Moore, Cheryl Lynne Potter
A real kid-believer, Sharla Feldscher, a proud South Jersey Grandmom (Grammy) and owner of her own public relations business in Philadelphia, is the author of six books on creative ideas to do with young children including two KIDFUN Activity Books. Her blog at www.kidfunandmore.com has more easy-to-do KIDFUN ideas.
Submit Calendar Listing: michelle@superiorgx.com www.southjerseymom.com Created by Markations Adam Nichols • (215) 825-7499 Superior Graphics Print Management LLC publishes South Jersey MOM™ monthly and distributes it throughout the region. The publication is available free of charge at select locations. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part is not permitted without the authorization of the publisher. Superior Graphics Print Management, LLC Publisher of South Jersey MOM P.O. BOX 268 Wenonah, NJ 08090 Main: (609) 670-1794 Fax: (856) 210-1524
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On the Cover Cutest Kid In Town Winner: Daniel is a fun-loving 11 months old. He enjoys playing with his toys, loves to stack and un-stack his cups, and clap his hands. Daniel has the warmest smile and is a very friendly baby. Most important, he loves spending time with his family, especially his big brother Ryan.
October 2013 | 5
mom 2 mom
Looking Up After a
Down Syndrome Diagnosis By Alicia DiFabio, Psy.D.
T
he moment her daughter was placed in her arms, firsttime mother Lori Wells knew.Thanks to her background as a genetic counselor, Wells recognized the physical characteristics exhibited by children with Down Syndrome. “I told the doctor,” she said, and the testing that followed would confirm the diagnosis. New mom Amy Fitzgerald had the same instinctual knowledge shortly after welcoming her baby into the world. Her daughter Emily was diagnosed with Down Syndrome shortly after birth. Down Syndrome, a chromosomal condition that occurs in one out of every 691 live births, results when there’s a full or partial extra copy of chromosome 21. It’s characterized by specific physical traits and risk of a variety of mild to moderate medical and developmental issues. Both Wells and Fitzgerald, now seasoned mothers, shared this advice about the first steps to take following a pre- or postnatal diagnosis of Down Syndrome. Assess Your Baby’s Needs As with any baby, take an active role in health care. Nearly half of all children with Down Syndrome will have a congenital heart defect, hearing or vision problems. Co-occurring respiratory, thyroid, and feeding issues may be present as well as developmental delays. • Immediately assess for any cardiac, gastrointestinal, hearing, metabolic, vision, respiratory or feeding issues. • Select a developmental pediatrician specializing in Down Syndrome. If none exist locally, choose a doctor who’s open to learning about Down Syndrome. • Obtain a copy of the Down Syndrome Healthcare Guidelines for all the recommended screenings, infancy through adulthood, at the National Down Syndrome Society’s website www.ndss.org. Assemble Your Village One week post-partum, Fitzgerald was contacted by Bringing Up Down Syndrome (BUDS), a South Jersey Down Syndrome Support Group. That call, she says, saved her life by providing valuable information and support from seasoned parents. “Meeting other families is the best way to get both information and comfort,” says Wells, co-founder of a South Jersey family support organization called Knowledge and Information about Individuals with Down Syndrome (KIIDS). KIIDS offers fun family nights, parent support and peer playdates. • Build connections with other parents via local or online support groups and/or blogs. ~ BUDS at www.bringingupdownsyndrome.org serves Burlington, Gloucester and Camden Counties. ~ KIIDS www.kiids.info. Representation is primarily from Gloucester and Camden Counties. ~ 21DOWN.org is an awareness group serving Atlantic, Cape May and Southern Ocean Counties.
Invest In Intervention The first year of life is critical in any child’s development but especially for children diagnosed with Down Syndrome. This is why Early Intervention (EI) is so important. “A child with Down Syndrome will do almost everything a typical child will do... it just may take longer,” Fitzgerald says. EI includes any or all of the following therapies: Occupational, Physical, Speech and Feeding. • EI can begin as early as infancy, so initiate an assessment right away. • Visit the NJ Early Intervention System’s website at www.njeis.org for more information. Enjoy Your Baby For Wells and Fitzgerald, motherhood was different than they originally imagined, yet they both learned raising a baby with Down Syndrome is really not so different than raising any baby. “Your baby is a baby first; the disability is second,” Fitzgerald says. • Enjoy your baby and don’t be so hard on yourself. The most important thing is for a baby to feel loved, accepted and secure. • Family and friends take your lead -- you set the tone. • Give yourself a “Down Syndrome Free Day” every once in a while, suggests Wells. A day to hold your baby and not worry about everything else.✲ Alicia DiFabio is a freelance writer with a doctorate in psychology and the mother of four. She can be found writing about motherhood and special needs at her blog, Lost In Holland, http://welcometomyplanet4.blogspot.com/ Facebook: www.facebook.com/LostInHolland
South Jersey Down Syndrome Resources v Bringing Up Down Syndrome of Southern Jersey bringingupdownsyndrome.org v 21 Down www.21down.org v KIIDS www.kiids.info 6 | October 2013
v Jersey Shore Down Syndrome Association for Ocean and Monmouth Counties v JSDSA.org v Early Intervention for NJ www.njeis.org Visit our website and sign up for our e-newsletter
Get Inspired by the Colors of Fall!
Tons of this Fall! Fall is a very busy time at Rastelli’s Sports and More! We offer unique programs and fantastic activities for boys and girls of all ages! Keep your children busy and entertained all fall long! Going on this month at Rastelli’s Sports and More: • Our popular Tumble Times program • Our Trunk or Treat event – October 25th 6-8 pm • Holiday Camp – Columbus Day, October 14th • Former 76er, Tim Perry’s Basketball Program Come in • Peewee Sports r a tour fo • And more! today!
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FOR FALL/WINTER PROGRAMS Visit sportsandmorefun.com for a list of our programs and call us at 856-401-8111 to schedule your free trial class Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook
October 2013 | 7
By Stacy McGuigan
S
ome party themes that are very easily associated with fall are leaves, pumpkins, holidays like Halloween and Thanksgiving, and fall colors, of course. You can very easily develop an entire birthday theme around these things. For example, an invitation could have a pumpkin on it and read, “Our little pumpkin is turning two.” You could then make a pumpkin-flavored cake in a Bundt pan and frost it with orange frosting with autumn foliage decorations in the center. But there’s more to fall than pumpkins for your child’s next celebration. Looking for an alternative to the usual celebration? Host a Fall Festival instead! Fall Festivals work particularly well for children of all ages. However, if you’re new to planning this type of event, it can seem a little daunting.With a little planning and organization, you’ll pull off a Fall Festival Celebration that’s enjoyed by one and all. Make sure that you set your budget. Choose a theme such as your child’s favorite activity, TV show or board game. Determine when and where you’ll host this event.Will it be indoors, outdoors or a combination of both? Make sure you have plenty of hands on deck. This is where inviting parents to attend the party comes in handy -- just make sure they know that they’ll have a role that day.
Plan your activities bases around your theme. Carnival games, sack races, tug-o-war, and crafts are all good choices. Of course, face painting and balloon animals are fun, too. Remember, your volunteers will be manning these activity stations, so be sure to get their input. The size of your event and set budget will play a large role in choosing the types of food that will be served. If your budget allows, a caterer is an easy choice. However, if you’re a bit limited, keep it simple. One idea is to grill burgers or hot dogs and provide drinks and maybe chips. You can ask attendees to bring a side dish and/or a dessert. Who needs a goody bag when you’ll be offering prizes at the games you plan? Now’s the time to stock up individually-wrapped candy, toys and novelties. I’m sure that with Pinterest, Instagram and other various social media outlets, you can certainly find great ideas for your Fun Fall Festival party and your child will thank you for it.✲ Stacy McGuigan is owner and creative engine of South Jersey’s one-stop event-planning service, Everyday Celebrations. For more information, visit www.ecpartyconcierge.com . Every Thursday, she’ll answer your party questions on Facebook https://apps.facebook.com/ neatchat/chatroom?pid=227819697229322.
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For more information, visit virtuafitness.org. 8 | October 2013
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October 2013 | 9
Stand UP to Bullying By Dr. Kelly N. Moore
S
o you get that dreaded call from school one day that your child was part of a circle of kids involved in a bullying ring. Being the good mom that you are, you ask your child about it. Your child’s response? “I’m not the mean one; it’s her (him)!” Now what can you do? Many media stories about bullying tend to focus on the bully or the victim, but it’s remiss to acknowledge the powerful role of bystanders in bullying scenarios. Your child is much more likely to be in a group of bystanders and may not understand how to intervene in a bullying scenario. If your child is friends with someone that you’ve come to realize is the school bully, here are some ways to encourage your child so they can stop standing BY while others are targeted, but rather, stand UP for victims of bullying.
start sentences with “I want…” or “I think…” Also, teach them that they can turn to a friend and say, “I don’t feel comfortable with this situation, and I think you should stop” or “I’m upset that what just happened made that person cry. I think you should leave her/him alone.” Ultimately, it’s up to us as parents to ensure that our kids are engaged with peers that aren’t a bad influence. Though we cannot protect our children from all the evils of the world, by building a strong sense of self in our children, we can be hopeful that they’ll make good choices in friendships and will be the type of child that has no trouble standing UP against bullying.✲
Building Leadership: Kids that are leaders can either become supportive or oppressive classmates. Bullies/mean girls tend to be children that are using their perceived power among peers (be it physical, social or psychological) to prey on those they believe to be weaker. If your child is friends with someone like that, he/she may remain silent for fear of being targeted or socially isolated from the peer group. It’s our job as parents to build leadership qualities in our children. This can be done by teaching them from a young age to be leaders and not followers, encouraging them to make choices and to communicate their opinions when appropriate at home. When children are confident in their ability to make decisions and identify themselves as leaders, they may not hesitate to speak against bullies because they’re likely to be viewed as leaders by peers, decreasing the chance that they would be targeted.Their opinions tend to be respected by their peer group and they’re not concerned with doing what everyone else does. Teaching Empathy: There’s a difference between feeling sorry for someone (sympathy) and being able to identify and relate to someone’s emotions (empathy). Ways to build empathy can start from a very young age by building their emotional vocabulary (e.g., happy, sad, mad, embarrassed, scared, etc.) and also having them learn how to label emotions of others based on facial expressions, body language, etc. This may sound very simple, but the truth is that children with empathy can more easily put themselves in the shoes of the victim which may activate a sense of wanting to “rescue” them from the mean girl/bully. Increasing Assertiveness: If your child expresses concern about speaking up for a victim of bullying because their friend happens to be a bully, then it’s also important to increase your child’s ability to assert themselves. Assertiveness is the method of communicating your needs and wants clearly to others without offending or confusing them about it. Teach your child to 10 | October 2013
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October 2013 | 11
moms R women 2
The Many Benefits of Exercise After Breast Cancer Treatment By Lisa R. Mele
Range of Motion: After surgery, range of motion can be effected and working with a certified health care professional by doing specific exercises can help bring back the movement that was once gone. Stephanie Casey, a 5-year breast cancer survivor, worked closely after surgery with her physical therapist on her left arm. Stephanie explains that “with daily exercises, my left arm regained full range of motion and, in no time, I was able to resume my daily activities and spend quality time with my two children and husband.”
The breast cancer survivor needs to start at a low intensity level and gradually build up with strength, cardio and flexibility.
O
ver the years, breast cancer has been a battle bravely fought by many women across America. In the past, breast cancer survivors were told to rest and take it easy after treatment. The American Cancer Society states, “This is good advice if movement causes pain, rapid heart rate or shortness of breath.” More research and studies have shown that exercise after breast cancer treatment has many benefits. Below are some of the many benefits of exercise after breast cancer treatment. The guidelines, according to the American Cancer Society, recommend, “Aim to exercise at least 150 minutes per week.” Prior to beginning any exercise program, consult your physician or, in some cases, obtain medical clearance.
Strength: The American Cancer Society recommends to “Includ[ing] strength training at least 2 days per week.” The breast cancer survivor should make sure the physician has given permission to do any type of weight training. Both Sue and Stephanie waited several months after their treatment to lift small weights. Sue said, “My oncologist told me that I would be OK lifting weights but would probably never be able to train my chest track like I used to. So far, this seems accurate; if I lift heavy weights for chest, I feel pain.” Jami Woods, Fitness Manager and Cancer Exercise Specialist explains, “The breast cancer survivor needs to start at a low intensity level and gradually build up with strength, cardio and flexibility.” Ms. Woods also adds, “There is a special program available for the breast cancer survivor that meets once a week for a month. The breast cancer survivor looks forward to this program because it also provides a support group setting with a trained professional staff.” Lisa R. Mele holds current fitness certifications with AAAI/ISMA and is a Licensed Zumba® Instructor in South Jersey. Lisa is also a PhillyFIT Workout-a-thon Instructor and won the “Easiest to Follow Instructor” award for 2011 and 2012.✲
Fatigue: It’s very common for the breast cancer survivor to feel fatigue during and after treatment. Sue DeSiver, an almost 3-year breast cancer survivor, explains, “I was on pain medication after surgery, and I felt fatigue from that, then I found radiation treatment caused a lot of fatigue as well. Exercise did help reduce my fatigue and, within six weeks, I was back to the gym teaching some of my group exercise classes on a weekly basis.”
12 | October 2013
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The Blessed Edmund Preschool is committed to providing a stimulating learning experience for young children in a sound, invigorating environment. Emphasis is placed on forming Christian character and values to help young children explore their relationship with God and to share their experiences in an atmosphere of joy, peace and goodness, flowing from love. • Preschool Class for age 3 • Pre-Kindergarten Class for age 4 • Mon-Fri from 7:30-6pm Flexible Customized Schedules • Computer Program • Modern Playground • Security System • Certified Teachers 1000 Cropwell Rd • Cherry Hill, NJ 08043
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October 2013 | 13
14 | October 2013
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Women Turning to Tomosynthesis for Clearer Results on Annual Mammograms By Booth Radiology
“
T
here are more choices than ever in the healthcare arena, and it can get confusing for patients,” says Sherrill Little, MD, a radiologist at Booth Radiology who is fellowship-trained in breast imaging. Previously, mammograms were done the traditional way with films that were read by radiologists. Over the years, this technology has shifted to digital images which make it easier to compare previous studies to the current exam. Dr. Sherrill Little, MD Computer-assisted “reviews” of the images, called an R2 checker, look for any anomalies in the images. However, these images produce only a 2D or flat image of breast tissue. The newest innovation in this rapidly changing field is 3D breast imaging called tomosynthesis. Tomosynthesis is a supplemental screening tool very similar to a standard mammogram. The patient is positioned and compressed in much the same way, but a tube moves in an arc around the breast to capture low-dose x-ray images that can be computerized into a 3D view. This is especially useful for women with dense breasts, and the 3D reconstructed image allows the radiologist to view the breast as sequential slices, increasing the ability to identify any abnormalities. According to the website, www.AreYouDense.org, 40% of women have dense breasts. Through this group’s advocacy program, many states are now enacting legislation called the Breast Density Notification Law. Cancer is four to six times more likely in women with extremely dense breasts, and 95% of women ages 40+ don’t know their breast density number, a number on the American Cancer Society (ACR) scale of one to four called Breast Imaging Reporting and Data System (BIRADS). In addition to better detection, tomosynthesis has also decreased the recall rate for patients with suspicious findings since it can provide the clarity needed to determine with more specificity whether additional evaluation is required. “Lowering the recall rate is a huge benefit for our patients,” says Dr. Little. Reducing the anxiety associated with getting a mammogram is a cornerstone of Booth Radiology’s philosophy. “When a woman can get a more definitive result with a less intrusive study, it provides a more positive experience.” Dr. Little encourages women to follow the ACR guidelines. Women with no high-risk factors should get annual mammograms beginning at age 40. “With the new technology available through tomosynthesis, there is less stress since questionable findings can be reduced through the precision of the 3D images, thereby encouraging women to continue with their annual schedule.” Should the radiologist identify a need for a follow-up exam, there are several options available. Ultrasound or MRI-guided biopsies have been used successfully for years, but the technology is now available to do biopsies directed by tomosynthesis. “What differentiates our tomosynthesis from other providers is that we have the ability to do breast biopsies guided by the 3D images,” explains Dr. Little. “Booth Radiology is among the first imaging practices to make this biopsy technology available to Visit our website and sign up for our e-newsletter
business spotlight
Are You Dense?
our patients.” While tomosynthesis is becoming widely available, using the images during a biopsy is cutting edge. Whether you have a standard mammogram or choose to also have the tomosynthesis done in conjunctions with your mammogram, the preparation for the patient is still the same. Follow these guidelines for a stress-free experience: • Wear a two-piece outfit, so you only need to undress from the waist up. • Don’t apply deodorant or lotions on the day of the exam. • Try to schedule your appointment for the week or two after your period when breasts are less tender. • If you had a previous mammogram at a different facility bring copies of your prior exams for comparison. • Be sure to inform your technologist is you have breast implants. For more information about tomosynthesis or to schedule an appointment, you can call Booth Radiology at (856) 848-4998. ✲
October 2013 | 15
know 2 grow
Boo-tastic
By Cheryl Lynne Potter
Trick-or-Treating Alternatives
K
ids go door to door, getting candy from strangers, can be frightening for parents. Now, there’s an alternative to trick-or-treating that can be less scary for parents and more rewarding for kids. For some children, Halloween is all about going green. Having a Green Halloween is a community-wide initiative that’s focused on creating holiday traditions that are earth-friendly and also help to raise money for non-profit organizations. For some kids, having a green Halloween, is forgoing the sweets and raising money for such worthwhile organizations like UNICEF or Philabundance, the Delaware Valley’s largest hunger relief organization. This works out just great for parents, since there’s an obesity crisis today among kids. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, obesity has more than doubled in children and tripled in adolescents over the past 30 years. Yet some communities, schools and local organizations have come up with a unique approach for handing out sweets to kids.Trunk-or-Treat is a safe alternative to door-to-door, trick-or-treating. It also allows parents to act like kids and dress up the trunks of their cars, so they can hand out treats to children, dressed in their favorite Halloween costumes.
16 | October 2013
“The Trunk-or-Treat program exemplifies the notion of community at its finest,” said Dr. Piera Gravenor, Superintendent of both Elk Township and Delsea Regional Public Schools. This annual event brings together a variety of community members who provide, said Gravenor, a “safe, fun event for the children.” Safety is also the reason why some police and fire departments plan Halloween events at their firehouse or police station. Firefighters and police officers usually hand out candy at these events and kids are often allowed a peek inside the police station or firehouse. At some places, children may even get a personal tour and a up-close look at a police car or fire truck. Another unique place to spend Halloween is at church. Instead of calling it a Halloween celebration, some churches have what they call, reformation parties or harvest festivals. Churches often ask that youngsters not wear scary costumes or masks to these events. Usually, anyone is invited to attend, and you don’t have to be a church member to bring your family. Activities are usually provided for kids and candy is often handed out, so children can also trick-or- treat at these events. Your local community may have other events where kids can go trick -or- treating. Check your local community calendar, your local newspaper or online to see what activities are being planned for your community.✲
FOR MORE INFORMATION: s
Green Halloween - www.greenhalloween.org
s
Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF www.trickortreatforunicef.org
s
Scare Hunger! - Philabundance www.philabundance.org
s
Sight Night - Sponsored by Lions Clubs International and OneSight, North America www.onesight.org/na/ and www.lionsclubs.org
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Stopping the Cycle of Domestic Violence:
Local Author Shares Her Story By Lisa Figueiredo
One in four women, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, has experienced domestic violence in her lifetime. Local author Gina Holmes has turned an often taboo topic that she experienced firsthand into a fictional bestseller. Ms. Holmes, in your recent novel, Wings of Glass, domestic violence is the catalyst. Can you tell me a little bit about your experience with domestic violence? I grew up as a little girl watching my mother get brutally beaten, and I swore it would never be me. She had witnessed her fair share as well as a child. Later, I watched two of my sisters fall into the same pattern, and I swore that would never be me until my boyfriend hit me for the first time. I made all sorts of excuses for him and took the blame on myself. It took me years of self-discovery, mostly through reading wonderful books like Boundaries and Codependent No More, among others, to start realizing how very flawed my thinking was. I discovered that the problem was me. A healthy person doesn’t get into or stay in these types of relationships, and subconsciously, some, maybe most of us, who’ve lived through childhood abuse or witnessed it done to others, are attracted to it. We don’t think we are. We would never say we are, but now that I’m much healthier, I can look back at all the red flags I missed. Besides reading, I believe my faith in God and my specific prayers to give me wisdom were key to the change that began and continues in me. As a child what impact did domestic violence have on you? As young children, my sisters and I were beaten by our stepfather; we went hungry; there was neglect, mental illness, substance abuse, etc. It affected all of our self-esteems and continues to this day. It helps for me to remember that I’m not a throwaway child. My mother had a lot of problems, and I was told at the age of six that she had abandoned me. It was devastating. I became withdrawn, depressed and self-destructive. My sisters went through similar experiences. One has passed away; the other is trying to heal and move on, and I think I’ve probably fared the best. Do you have children? I have two sons, Jacob who is 16 and Levi, 11. As I watch them grow into fine young men, loving, confident and happy, I know that the cycle of abuse has stopped and it’s my proudest accomplishment. If someone is reading this, and they don’t think they have anything to heal from, that they’re “over” it, consider reading everything you can, talking to a counselor, whatever you have to do so that you don’t inadvertently pass on twisted thinking to your children. What advice do you have for women who are experiencing domestic violence in their own lives? This is tough because if someone would have come at me head-on, (and they did), I wouldn’t have listened. My belly had to get full of it for me to say enough’s enough. My best advice is that darkness loves to stay hidden. Bring it out to the light.Tell a friend, your family. It’s not normal. It’s not okay. You’re not crazy. Trust your perceptions. Every journey begins with a step. You don’t have to leave if you’re not ready, just take that first step. What type of reactions have you had from others? I get a lot of women that will approach me and whisper, “Wings of Glass--that’s my story. You nailed it.” Sometimes, they don’t realize I nailed it because I’ve been there. Not exactly the same way [main character] Penny experienced it, but abuse takes many forms. It’s not always broken arms left in its wake. Sometimes, it’s just a broken spirit.
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October 2013 | 17
business spotlight
Crystal Clear Vision Shapes Photography Studio:
T
Perfect Day Photography
hese days, there’s a lot of buzz about blurred lines. For Perfect Day Photography co-owner Kate Bennett, the only blurred lines in her photographs are purely intentional and artistic. But her company’s vision — to develop lifetime relationships by becoming a household name — is crystal clear. With the help of master photographer and husband Eric, Bennett’s Swedesboro studio has flourished in the 12 years since it opened. The husband-wife team works well because they “try to remember to say ‘great job’ or ‘I love what you did’ and ‘thanks for helping out,’” Bennett said. Their customer-oriented philosophy to “provide clients with the best possible photography at the price they can afford” has allowed Perfect Day Photography to expand from mainly wedding packages to include its current array of family photography services. Odds are that if you’re reading this magazine, you probably know someone who chose Perfect Day Photography to capture treasured memories of their wedding day. The Bennetts specialize in “differentiation” which means coming up with unique looks for wedding photos while adhering to all styles ranging from traditional to fun. No matter what style or background, Bennett says, “Our clients stand out in their photographs.” When a bride and groom look back on their wedding photos many years later, the look in their eyes has become timeless, thanks to their skilled photographers and
18 | October 2013
By Charlene Counsellor
high-end equipment. The same can be said of the “For His Eyes Only” portraits which make stunning gifts for that special someone. As a mother of two daughters, Bennett knows how valuable maternity and infant photography can be as well as portraits throughout the many holidays and milestones of the growing years. Perfect Day Photography is different than other studios, Bennett says, because they know the best and worst times of the day for children and can work with a wide assortment of personalities and ages. “I’ve come in at 8 a.m. to shoot photos of a baby after a busy mom tried to fit in a session during her daughter’s normal nap time,” Bennett said. “It’s all about flexibility and sensitivity. The first session was poorly timed, and it didn’t work out. The early morning session was a breeze.” Infant photography, Bennett said, “puts everything in life back in check. There is nothing more grounding than holding a newborn. They are so innocent and dependent, and, of course, that smell is intoxicating!” Bennett understands how challenging these years can be for parents because, although being a business owner does allow for lots of presence in their daughters’ lives, she and Eric always try to accommodate their clients as well. Experienced parents know that photos with Santa at the mall can be hit or miss, both on the wallet and quality. But if parents choose Perfect Day Photography for this fun time of
year, they can be sure that their experience will be more personal and less stressful, not to mention more affordable. It was during one of these photo sessions when Bennett said she had one of her most impressionable moments. “A little boy came to visit Santa in our studio, and he told Santa that he had been really good, and if he could take away his dad’s cancer, he would continue being good forever.” Swedesboro-Woolwich is a blossoming area and school district which keeps Bennett busy. Perfect Day Photography manages to juggle portrait sessions with the area’s Little League, Little Theater, Drama Club, cheerleading and lacrosse. Bennett believes in the importance of community involvement. This is evident in the fact that Bennett volunteers for the Greater Swedesboro Business Association and also frequently runs portrait specials to help those in need, such as the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation and Mario Carpino’s Alex’s Lemonade Stand fundraisers. Bennett, a former law office manager, can be found proposing partnerships and programs among businesses, and she isn’t afraid to ask for change when she believes it’s necessary. Check out this award-winning friendly team and see for yourself the samples of their work by visiting www.perfectdayphotography. com, “like” them on Facebook or call them at (856) 241-3850.You will not be disappointed.✲
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October 2013 | 19
recipe corner
Autumn Spice…
Very Nice! By Lisa Ann Panzino DiNunzio
It’s that time, ya’ll -- time for scrumptious pumpkin recipes sure to please any pumpkin lover! What could be more Autumn-like, then serving up Autumn Spice Pancakes or warm Pumpkin Streusel Muffins to your family on a chilly Fall day? I just know that it will warm them up just by smelling the aroma of warm spices in these two recipes as they waft through the air!
Pumpkin Streusel Muffins • 1/4 cup butter, softened • 1/2 cup raw sugar or natural sugar substitute • 1/4 cup packed brown sugar or natural sugar substitute • 2/3 cup canned pumpkin • 1/2 cup buttermilk • 2 eggs, lightly beaten • 2 tbs. unsulphured black strap molasses • 2 cups unbleached all-purpose or white whole wheat flour • 1 tsp. baking soda • 2 tsp. non-aluminum baking powder • 1 tsp. ground cinnamon • 1/4 tsp. ground ginger • 1/8 tsp. ground nutmeg • 1/4 tsp. sea salt Streusel Topping • 1/3 cup unbleached all-purpose or white whole wheat flour • 3 tbs. brown sugar or natural sugar substitute • 2 tbs. cold butter Preheat oven to 375°. In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugars until light and fluffy. Beat in the pumpkin, buttermilk, eggs and molasses. In a separate bowl; combine the flour, baking soda, baking powder, spices and salt. Add dry ingredients to the pumpkin mixture, and stir just until blended. Fill greased or paper-lined muffin cups two-thirds full. For topping: Combine flour and brown sugar; cut in butter until mixture is crumbly. Sprinkle over batter. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the muffin comes out clean. Cool in the pan for 5 minutes before removing muffins to a wire rack. Autumn Spice Pancakes • 2 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour • 1/4 cup raw sugar or natural sugar substitute • 1 tbs. non-aluminum baking powder • 1 tsp. ground cinnamon • 1/4 tsp. ground ginger • 1/8 tsp. ground nutmeg • 1/2 tsp. sea salt • 2 cups milk, almond or rice milk • 3/4 cup canned pumpkin puree • 1/4 cup melted butter • 2 eggs Whisk flour, sugar, baking powder, spices and salt in a bowl. In a separate bowl whisk together milk, pumpkin, melted butter, and eggs. Fold wet mixture into dry ingredients, stir just until combined. Pour batter by 1/4 cupfuls onto a hot greased griddle. Turn when bubbles form on top of pancakes. Cook until second side is golden brown. Serve with warm maple syrup and chopped pecans if desired. Note: You can add 1/4 cup of either chopped nuts, cranberries, mini chocolate chips or peeled, diced apple to pancake batter if desired. As always, Bon Appetit!
Lisa Ann Panzino DiNunzio is the author of “Seasoned With Love,Treasured Recipes” & “Lisa Ann’s Seasoned With Love II”, and the children’s book, “Snicker Learns An Important Lesson.” Visit her blog http://lisaanndinunzio.blogspot.com/ or Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001935347501 20 | October 2013
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For a complete list of events, log onto www.southjerseymom.com
To submit your event, send an e-mail to michelle@superiorgx.com. Entries are due six weeks prior to the event and are filled on a first-come first-served basis. Space is limited. ATLANTIC COUNTY The 3rd Annual Atlantic City Boardwalk Rodeo Saturday, October 5, 7:30pm Sunday, October 6, 1:00 pm Boardwalk Hall - Atlantic City Tickets can be purchased at the Boardwalk Hall Box Office, all Ticketmaster locations by calling 800736-1420 or at www.ticketmaster.com. For Group Sales, call (609) 348-7023. Parade in Downtown Hammonton Wednesday, October 30, 7:00 pm This is the Largest Parade of its Kind in NJ. Enjoy floats, costumes and some good hometown fun. For information, write to P.O. Box 1086, Hammonton, NJ 08037 CAMDEN COUNTY Expectant Parents 101 Session Begin Thursday, October 3 thru Thursday, November 7 Temple Emanuel 1101 Springdale Road, Cherry Hill Interactive, Informational, fun workshops to learn everything you ever wanted to know about having a baby! $75 per couple for the whole session and $15 per session. Call (856) 489-0034 for more info and to register. Blackwood Pumpkin Festival Sunday, October 6, 11am-4pm All Around Mainstage Center for the Arts. Located at Academy Hall 29 S. Black Horse Pike, Blackwood. The rain date is Sunday, October 13. This festival offers food, games, live music and crafts with more than 200 vendors, plus four stages featuring entertainment throughout the day. Activities include hayrides, moon bounce, amusement rides, pumpkin carving contest, face painting, pumpkin painting, costume contest and more. For more information, call 855-93-MAINSTAGE or (855) 936-2467. YMCA of Burlington and Camden Counties presents the 4th Annual Wine & Food Classic Saturday, October 19 Tavistock Country Club 100 Tavistock Lane Haddonfield
Join the YMCA of Burlington and Camden Counties, in partnership with Canal’s Bottlestop, Route 70, Marlton, for the 4th Annual Wine & Food Classic. This year’s event benefits the Y’s Community Support Campaign that provides services to children and families in Burlington and Camden counties regardless of their ability to pay. VIP Reception & Admission | 5–9:30pm. Regular Admission | 6:30–9:30pm. VIP Reception & Admission tickets: $175 ea/$150 ea Y Members. Regular Admission tickets: $100 ea/$75 ea Y members. Tickets are available at www.ymca-bc.org, click “Programs”, then “Events Calendar.” For more info and for sponsorship information, contact Jen Segelken, Development Director, at (856) 234-6200 x243 or jens@ymca-bc.org . Guests will enjoy more than 700 of South Jersey’s finest selection of wines and dishes prepared by premium chefs. A limited number of tickets will be sold for a V.I.P. reception featuring premium wine and menu selections. The Haddonfield Farmers Market Open every Saturday through October 26, rain or shine 8:30-1pm Join us in the heart of beautiful, historic Haddonfield on pedestrianonly Kings Court on famous Kings Highway (between Haddon Avenue and Tanner Street). Our 7th terrific season as a community nonprofit features Jersey Fresh fruits and vegetables, artisan breads, organic flowers, sausages, hot coffee and other foods-to-go. Come each week to see what’s new, seasonal and fun including our “Little Sprouts” kids’ activities. Get updates at www.haddonfieldfarmersmarket. org or www.facebook.com/ pages/Haddonfield-FarmersMarket/109209384107 CAPE MAY COUNTY John R. Elliott HERO Walk Sunday, October 6 Join the John R. Elliott HERO campaign for Designated Drivers
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for our 3rd Annual HERO walk. Registration 9am at the Sports & Civic Center, 6th & Boardwalk, walk begins at 11am. The 5K Walk helps to raise funds and awareness so we can continue our mission to prevent drunken driving tragedies by promoting the use of safe and sober designated drivers. For more information, call (609) 626-3880 or visit www.theherowalk.org . Halloween Parade, Ocean City Thursday, October 24 7:15pm on Asbury Ave From 6th–11th Street. Sponsored by the Ocean City Exchange Club. Halloween Parade Info Hotline: 1-800-813-5580 Website & Registration: www.ochp.blogspot.com Come enjoy the fun with the whole family! CUMBERLAND COUNTY THE ELLISON SCHOOL PARENT TEACHER ORGANIZATION Presents Coach Bag Bingo Friday, October 18 The Ellison-Parent Teacher Organization (EPTO) will host Coach Bag Bingo for ages 18 and older. Come out to the Millville Elks Lodge No. 580, 1815 East Broad Street. Doors will open at 6pm. Games will start at 7pm. Prizes are Coach Bags with original tags. Additional cards, 50/50 and raffle tickets will be available for purchase. Refreshments will be available for purchase. Tickets are $25 in advance. No tickets will be sold at the door. Card and ticket purchases are final. For tickets or information, e-mail eptobingo@ellisonschool.org or call Jennifer Klotz at (856) 696-8141. Cohanzick Zoo’s - “Boo at the Zoo” by Katheryn Angel Scottollio Saturday, October 19 11am until 2pm Catalina Angelina’s, LLC, will be face painting at the Cohanzick Zoo’s “Boo at the Zoo” for the third year in a row. Proceeds will assist the Cohanzick Zoological Society in providing diets along with medical attention for the exotic residents of the city zoo. The event is held at 45 Mayor-Aitken Drive
things 2 do
October Calendar
in Bridgeton. Admission is free. At this event, Trick-orTreaters in costume will visit each establishment’s booth set up around the zoo and collect treats. For those interested in volunteering, Catalina Angelina’s is seeking volunteers who are outgoing, child-friendly and have artistic talent to face paint and manage large crowds. Catalina Angelina’s, LLC, is also looking for volunteers to help with a military child-based nonprofit organization called Operation Hug-a-Hero. Please visit www.Catalinangelinas.com for instructions on how to apply. This is a great volunteer project for military mothers and for high school seniors who are looking to complete their volunteer hours before graduation. GLOUCESTER COUNTY Gloucester County Animal Shelter Open House Saturday, October 5, 11am-4pm Please join us for our Annual Open House! Free refreshments, pets for adoption and a Pet Costume Parade at 3pm. Come join the fun! SALEM COUNTY Gas Engine Show Saturday & Sunday, October 5-6 Salem County Fair Grounds For Information, call (609) 617-1638. SJ Pumpkin Show Friday, Saturday & Sunday, October 11, 12 & 13 Salem County Fair Grounds For Information, call (856) 765-0118 or visit www.sjpumpkinshow.com Tri-State Dog Show and Pull Saturday & Sunday, October 19-20 Salem County Fair Grounds For Information, call (646) 316-1376 Me 2 You Consignments for Children Friday, Saturday & Sunday, October 25, 26 &27 Salem County Fair Grounds Information: info@ me2youconsignment.com
October 2013 | 21
resource guide
Home Owners Free Offer Accurate pricing is the first and most important step towards successfully marketing your home. To receive your Free Comparative Market Analysis from The Ron Bruce Team at Prudential Fox and Roach. Call 609-670-1794. There is no obligation,The team will promptly provide you with a comprehensive report on the value of your home. Begin your free, no-obligation market value analysis today! www. smartmovenow.com
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$50 SPECIAL FOR FIRST 25 CALLERS 5 digital images, indoor/outdoor session at the studio, 30 minute session
22 | October 2013
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October 2013 | 23