When Late Night Thoughts are Bourne

WHEN LATE NIGHT THOUGHTS ARE BOURNE with Freddie Bourne

IS IT ME, OR DO WE JUST MAKE UP STEREOTYPES?

When I was in graduate school, I remember walking out of the building to catch the train when a student asked me if I had a cigarette or a lighter. To their disappointment, I told them I didn’t smoke - to which they replied, “Oh, really? You looked like you did.”

What in the world is that supposed to mean? And this wasn’t the first time, by the way.

Three years prior, I’m sitting in the lunchroom during undergrad and a bunch of high school students were coming in for an open house. An attractive young man beelines to my table, full of 18 fraternity guys, shakes my hand, and introduces himself. Let’s call him Jason, because that was his name.

Before I am able to reject his offer to ask me out on a date I made up in my head (nothing against him, I just wasn’t single and women are more my vibe most days), he proceeds to tell me that I looked like the type of guy that knew where to get some marijuana on campus. Once I shook his hand and told him I worked for the university, Jason ran out and I never saw him again. Worst ghosting ever. But seriously, what is this look people are talking about?

I’ve seen a reflection of myself, quite a few times. I don’t get it. Is it because I look like a Seth Rogen stunt double? Is it my fondness of flannels? Maybe I was part of a prank where I had a sign on my back that read “SAY HIGH” - those pesky college kids.

I find that I stereotype way more often than I'd like to admit. When I moved to the Midwest and had to make friends from scratch, I immediately took a disliking to every person I have since become friends with, based on nothing. Without fail, I took one gander at them, found one small, insignificant physical trait, and burst with “No way.”

Cowboy hat? I’m not fond of saloons. Gold chains? Fashion and wealth are not my strong suits. Terribly dyed purple hair? I don’t want to be the next salon experiment gone wrong.

I created scenarios for each of these people without getting to know their name. I’m basically doing the same thing as a hiring manager - judging people based on what I see on paper and not giving them a chance because a lower than 3.0 GPA was a deal-breaker.

We all do this. So let's stop making up stereotypes and make a valiant attempt to build relationships that we will cherish for a lifetime.