Livingwithothers Livingindependently
The art of
Contents
Living with others
Setting up a foundation
Household tasks - ‘chores’
Bonding
Conflict and resolution
Living Independently
Critical To Dos
Checklists
Finance and budgeting
Making Connections ...and finally
Setting up the Foundation
Communication is key when it comes to living with new people, so it’s best to set this up straight away.
Here are a few helpful hints for setting up a good foundation to make living together a little bit easier.
Group meet in the first week
Agree to set aside some time in the first week to meet up and have a chat. It’s important to learn a bit more about each other and what you are like, and understand what is important to each other.
This can help everyone to set realistic expectations and for you agree some basic ground rules, which will make living with each other easier. TheArtofLivingwithOthers
What are helpful ground rules?
Guests
Letting each other know if someone is coming to stay over can help ease anxiety and ensure everyone feels safe in their own home.
Privacy & Personal Space
Privacy and individual personal space are important, these will differ between each of you so it’s a good idea to find out what everyone feels comfortable with.
You may want your bedroom to be totally private, whereas other’s might be happy for people to come in to their rooms.
There’s no wrong here, so long as you all agree to respect each other’s wishes.
Quiet Times
Are there any particular days and times you want each other to be a bit quieter? Let each other know beforehand. These can change depending on deadlines so be open to adapting when someone needs some extra quiet time.
Sharing
Are you okay with sharing things / not sharing things? Chat through what things do you not want people to touch and what you are happy to share.
Be respectful of each other’s possessions. If it’s not yours and you are not sure if you can use it, then don’t!
Household tasks - ‘chores’
There’s always the bin to be emptied, dishes to be washed and a vacuum now and then is a good idea!
Agreeing to share the responsibilities at the start is helpful, but just remember everyone has different standards so it may take time to reach a reasonable compromise for all.
Some basics can include agreeing to: wipe the kitchen work surface down after use, not to leave anything in the kitchen sink clean up your own spillages
Be patient and check out our top tips and tricks to get those chores done in harmony!
Create a Groupchat?
Whether it’s to say ‘hey it’s games night tonight,’ to remind everyone of friends coming over, or to ask ‘can you grab me some bread from ASDA when you go later?’, group chats can be a helpful tool to communicate with each other.
However, try not to use it for complaints, as a small grumble can become an unnecessarily large problem. If there’s something not going right, think about an in-person chat insteadusing our ‘conflict resolution guide’ to assist.
KEEP THE GROUP CHAT A POSITIVE PLACE
TO VISIT
Create a weekly get together
Connecting in the real world and not just on socials is the best way to keep positive relationships going.
One good way to do this is to agree on a weekly catch up... maybe a Sunday morning kitchen natter, or a Wednesday afternoon catch up on campus. Whatever you decide, try to keep it to a set time when everyone can join in, if they want to.
It doesn’t matter if it’s just for 10 minutes, time spent with each other in person can make all the difference to building the positive foundations for a happy household.
Household Tasks‘chores’
Household tasks, known as ‘chores’ can be the most common cause for conflict, and it makes sense, after all each of you will have different levels of tidiness and perceptions of cleanliness. It can be hard to adapt and this takes time.
The best thing to do is to talk about this and work together, each making a few adjustments to make living together a little easier.
Here are some tips and tricks to get you all on the same page.
Bin Rota
Flat/House Cleans
Cleaning Supplies
Personal Responsibilities
Bin Rota
Create a chart with everyone’s names on. When someone takes out the bin they tick themselves offthen everyone knows the job is done and that everyone is taking their fair turn.
You can do this with kitchen cleaning as well, even vacuuming if you like!
Flat/House Cleans
Set a timer for one hour, turn on some tunes, and get cleaning together, tackling each space as a team. Mix it up by instead of using a timer, put on a load of laundry and see if you can finish cleaning in the time it takes to run its course!
This way you keep the flat in tip top shape whilst having a bit of fun together!
Cleaning Supplies
Cleaning supplies costs add up, so think about sharing these. Commonly used items, the cost of which could be shared, include:
Rubber gloves
Washing up liquid
Tea towels
Non-scratch cleaning pad
Microfibre cloths
Oven cleaner
Oven sponge
Oven gloves
Disinfectant
Bathroom cleaner
Toilet cleaner
All-purpose cleaner
Whether you create a shared pot that you chip into every month or have a rota to make sure everyone pitches in, this can help everyone’s finances.
Personal Responsibilities
Everyone will have their own space, and it will be important to take responsibility for keeping your own spaces clean and tidy as much as possible.
Being messy in your own space is fine, but make sure it doesn’t spill out into shared areas.
Emptying your own bins and ensuring no foodstuffs are left lying around for long periods is importantthis keeps everywhere hygienic and the likelihood of pests low.
Whether you live in AUB Halls and have your own shower rooms, or if you live in private housing/halls with shared bathrooms and toilets, check you leave them clean after each use, especially the toilet.
Bonding
Sometimes your flatmates can be your first friend at uni and sometimes they can be a best friend for life. Here are our top ideas to bond:
Go for a walk together - round the block, down the beach, to the shops...get to know each other whilst exploring your new home town together.
Organise a group meal time - even if you don’t share the food (we all like different things), taking time to sit and eat together can provide valuable opportunities to build positive relationships.
Movie Nights - take it in turns to introduce your flat/housemates to your favourite films and find new ones together!
Game Nights - online or board games are a brilliant way to come together as friends.
Study Sessions - all trying to meet deadlines? Share the pain over a group study session in your kitchen/lounge.
(and never ever underestimate a simple cup of tea and chat)
Conflict Resolution
Living with people is hard especially when you don’t know them and sometimes conflicts come up. Don’t worry, this is totally normal and most of the time an issue can be resolved by following a few simple rules: Always be respectful. Treat others how you want to be treated.
Remember no one is a mind-reader. If there is an issue, say something. Raising the issue respectfully can sometimes resolve the issue straightaway.
Give everyone space - including yourself! Avoid tackling an issue when you or someone else is upset, high emotions can result in arguments which can make the situation worse.
Be open-minded. Sometimes something happens accidently, the other person is not deliberately trying to cause offense. Talk it through and remember everyone makes mistakes sometimes.
Tackling the issue
Some prompts to get conversation started:
“Can I have a chat with you about... ?”
“I’ve been finding the .... a bit difficult lately, could we talk about it ?”
“Would it be possible to have a chat about the ground rules, to check if they are still meeting all our needs?”
What Next?
Sometimes, despite best efforts the issue doesn’t get resolved and some extra help is needed.
The AUB Accommodation Team are trained in conflict resolution and mediation. You can book an appointment with them via Bookings AUB or attend one of their drop-in sessions as advertised on @aubreslife
Critical To Dos
When you first move in...
Complete your moving in inventory - take pictures to evidence any damage already there and store safely.
Make sure you have the correct bank account set up to pay your rent from.
Make sure all important mail is redirected to your new address.
Find out how the washing machine / laundry works..if its a laundry in halls, make sure to get the APP!
Register with your GP.
Daily Tasks
Make your bed in the morning - it makes your room feel less cluttered and it can be your first win for the day!
Wash up your dishes after each meal - if you have time remember to dry them and put them away too!
Wipe down kitchen surfaces after each use - leave the kitchen how you would like to find it.
Clear your dirty laundry into your laundry basket and hang your towel up.
At the end of the day, make sure you’ve tidied your belongings away in the shared spaces.
Weekly Tasks
Do some laundry - clean your sheets and towels. If you can, try to put a load of clothes on as well, keeping on top of this means you’ll always have something clean to wear.
Clean the Bathroom - if it’s a shared facility, we recommend at least twice a week.
Give your room a tidy up - clear away the clutter, empty your bin and grab your feather duster for a quick once over.
Sweep/vacuum/mop all the shared areas ...especially the kitchen.
All of them like a nice chat and it will enhance your sense of calm as well...trust us! Bonus Tip!
Check in on your plants - some might need a water, some a wipe down of their leaves.
Monthly Tasks
Clear out and clean the fridge
Check your cupboards and give them a clean - throw away anything out of date.
Do the ‘BIG’ shop! Buying fresh should be done weekly but for other items think about shopping once a month, it helps to keep within budget.
Wipe down the skirting boards and other awkward areas...use that feather duster to get into the high places that are hard to reach!
Declutter - For those items that are still in good condition but you don’t need any more - think about selling on Vinted or Etsy for some extra £!
Finance & Budgeting
Check out online resources Save the Student and MoneySavingExpert for information, advice and guidance on all money matters
Check if you are eligible for any financial support from AUB. Not sure? Have a chat with AUB Student Advice.
Complete your budget planner - Money Saving Expert recommends free apps such as HypeJar and MoneyLover to help make this easier.
Visit AUB Futures on CANVAS for all your careers and enterprise needss. To find out about job opportunities in the local area go to AUB Futures HUB
Making Connections
Part of living independently is learning to make positive connections.
Connect with others who have similar interests:
Living in AUB Halls? Attend a ResLife event and meet new friends in your very own home.
Try AUBSU Societies - they have over 40 different choices, something for everyone!
Like fitness and working out? Head over to SportBU (student discounts available)
Volunteer or get involved in some Student Collaborative opportunities - there’s always something happening at AUB!
Making Connections
Adjusting to life away from home can be challenging, with many things to consider.
It's normal not to click with everyone, to feel lonely, or to be overwhelmed. Sometimes, you might need professional support to navigate these emotions and build the necessary skills to succeed.
Don't hesitate to reach out to AUB Wellbeing for assistance.
You can attend daily drop-ins on campus MondayFriday 10.00 - 14.00, no appointment needed. Or you can book an online appointment by going to AUB Bookings
...and finally
Don’t forget to download the UniBus APP and get your bus pass
Start learning to cook with the Amazing AUBSU CookBook
Register for your NUS Student Discounts
Practice
self-care every day in some small way