Tea for one on a lonely mountain

Tea for

The view from Brecon Beacons

THE SUMMER OF 2018 gave us unparalleled sunshine, soaring temperatures, a Welshman winning the Tour de France – and a brand-new AUK 1,000km calendar event. The Audax Club Mid-Essex (ACME) Grand offered an epic Essex-Wales-Essex route, unsurpassed mountain scenery and a unique tea party on top of the Black Mountain. The Dulwich Paragon team rose to the challenge, but could they see it through under such extreme conditions?

It was 10.45am on 28 June when Tom Deakins, organiser and ACME route-master, stood on a seat in an Essex pub garden to wish everyone good luck – and invited the riders to attend a tea party on the Black Mountain, the most westerly pinnacle of the Brecon Beacons.

The ACME Grand had caught my eye because it was 2018’s best value AUK calendar event – only £4 for 1,000km. It was also because the organiser was Tom, and the AAA route seemed out of character for someone better known for The Flatlands and Green & Yellow Fields.

There were 10 points and 9.25 AAA points on offer and the ‘x-rated’ status of the ride appeared quite exciting – until I realised that this meant it was completely unsupported. All riders had to collect a minimum of 18 receipts from random shops and ATMs and there were no volunteers to look after you, and in my case, no company for two days of the ride. Tom’s route was accompanied by five pages of explanatory text in which he recalled his DIY of the same route in May in great detail, including the location of significant bus shelters, should you be in need of sleep.

Preparation

There seem to be two types of Audax cyclist – those that plan ahead and those that act on impulse; I aspire to be in the first group but am usually in the latter. The ACME Grand start date of 28 June was set in 2017, however I didn’t sign-up until four weeks before the start.

London-based Adrian Wikeley recalls 2018, a summer of unparalleled sunshine – and an epic ride from Essex to the Brecon Beacons and back. It was an event that defeated three quarters of the Dulwich Paragon team of four. This is Adrian’s tale of a hot and ultimately lonesome ride…

one

By the third week in June it was obvious that the summer of 2018 was going to match the legendary heat wave of 1976. In June the south east of England had less than 10 per cent of average rainfall, and over 150 per cent of the average sunshine levels; indeed the day time temperature in London was consistently over 30 degrees. The whole of the UK was suffering and wild fires were breaking out in the Brecon Beacons with the fire service struggling to control them.

I abandoned all the usual items like mud-guards, over-shoes, waterproofs and arm and leg warmers. I stocked up on sun-screen, and packed two pairs of bib-shorts, three jerseys and socks for every day, as this was clearly going to be a rather sweaty event. In reality if ever there was an event on which to wear sandals without socks – this was it!

My basic plan on how to tackle the route was based on the presence of 24 hour access budget hotels, and my experiences of LEL, plus a desire to avoid night-time cycling where possible. It looked straightforward on paper and was broadly three days of around 300km, followed by a short 100km final day: Day One: Witham, Essex to Tewkesbury (Stages 1-5) – 259km Day Two: Tewkesbury to Bridgend, Wales (roughly Stages 6-12) – 332km Day Three: Bridgend to St Neots,

Cambridgeshire (Stages 13-17) – 317km Day Four: St Neots to Witham, Essex (Stages 18-19) – 100km Total: 1,008km in 75 hours with 11,000m ascent

In reality the 1,008km route was advisory and with some diversions my total distance was 1,055km in just over 74hours, with 9,162m ascent.

The Grand Depart

The ride commenced at 11am on 28 June in Witham, Essex ideal for us Londoners as it is only 40 minutes out of Liverpool Street Station. The start was in the garden of the 16th century Battesford Court, now a Wetherspoons pub in the heart of the town. As I arrived our four-strong Dulwich Paragon team was assembling in the pub garden – Liam Morris, Gary MacGowan and Richard Ireland and me.

I felt apprehensive about this event, however I had the support of the Paragon team – what could go wrong? None of us was looking to break any records; we were all experienced riders and just saw the event as a challenge with an interesting route. We didn’t envisage cycling the entire distance together, however there would be support when needed. However in the sun-drenched pub garden there was already tension in the air. Gary, who had successfully completed the midgeinfested West Highland 1,000km only a month earlier, was having problems with his tubeless tyres and Richard was concerned about a large nick in his rear tyre. Of around a hundred riders who had registered, there were about forty who set off from Witham.

Day One: Witham, Essex to Tewkesbury, Gloucestershire. Actual distance 270km and 1,620m of ascent

From Witham we set off across Essex to control number one in Buntingford, Hertfordshire, which luckily is also the home of Trax, an independent cycle shop,

ON A LONELY MOUNTAIN Adrian at Buntingford 60km from the finish W O RDS & PICTURES ADRIAN WIKELEY which resolved all the Paragon team’s tyre issues. We continued with a gentle tailwind via controls at St Neots (Cambridgeshire), Towcester (Northamptonshire) and Banbury (Oxfordshire), passing through picturesque villages on the way. The pace was good, and after Broadway we were heading down off the Cotswolds escarpment at sunset, arriving at the Tewkesbury Travelodge at midnight. There were now three of us as Gary had decided to head home at Banbury.

Day Two: Tewkesbury to Bridgend, Glamorgan. Actual distance 344km and 3,512m of ascent

After four hours’ sleep, the remaining Paragon team of three left Tewkesbury at 4.30am. Tom’s description of the lumpy route through the Forest of Dean – “The hills of the Dean are unforgiving” – was enough to put us off the advisory route and Liam had done an excellent GPS route to Gloucester on the A38 and then along the A48 to Chepstow. These are wide A-roads and in the early morning virtually traffic-free. That said, the Highways Agency offer many reminders of the 48 casualties on this road during the past year.

Just like that… Caerphilly Castle with the statue of Tommy Cooper Heat haze… Essex at 34ºC feeling more like Italy

Chepstow to Newport was smooth and unremarkable, the highlights included the former site of the Llanwern Steel Works, and we stopped to admire the Newport Transporter Bridge. Beyond Caerphilly Tom’s route takes a “scenic hilly route” over Egwysilian Common dropping down into Pontypridd. This involved a very steep climb on a narrow track, followed by a twisty corkscrew 20 per cent descent. With all the pot-holes this descent would be pretty lethal at night.

From Pontypridd it was something of a slog into Barry and then north to Tonypandy in the Rhondda Valley. It was 30 degrees, the sunlight was blinding and the narrow roads were congested and without shade. From here the road gradually climbs to the Rhigos viewpoint and a stunning mountain loop, from where it was still another 55km to Llandovery.

We stopped in a lay-by beside an ice-cream van. It was very quiet. The owner told me that the weather was now too hot for business – the locals were not going out of doors. Next was a narrow road up Sarn Helen, and then The Devil’s Elbow with beautiful views north, and a fantastic descent.

At the Llandovery Co-op car park that I realised I was going to be the only member of the Paragon team going forward, as both Gary and Liam had now packed. The incessant heat and relentless climbing had put paid to our attempt as Team Paragon. My legs were still feeling pretty good, and with the light now fading I pushed on. From Llangadog the A4069 offers a beautiful ascent through a lush valley landscape, opening up to the moorland of the Black Mountain.

At sunset I was climbing this mountain, feeling rather lonely and assuming that the ACME crew’s tea party would have long since finished. But I’d underestimated these hardy folk as Tom Deakins and his crew were still set up in a roadside carpark with stunning views of the setting sun. I was offered a seat and served with a freshly brewed cuppa and handmade Welsh cakes, imported from Essex, so this wasn’t an entirely x-rated event.

This was also my opportunity to discuss whether I could get back to Witham within the 75 hour time limit. When I asked Tom he wisely said: “it all depends on how much sleep you’ve had”. You can’t argue with that. Huge thanks are due to the ACME team for travelling the 550 mile round trip to offer this unusual bonus.

Fortified by the tea party it was virtually downhill all the way to the Burger King in Neath which was still open, and then onwards to Bridgend. Personally I was not in the mood for the climb out of Neath through Cimla, so I took the scenic “hill-dodgers” route through Port Talbot. At night with no traffic it has a certain charm. Finally I arrived at the Premier Inn in Bridgend for some well-earned sleep.

Hot wire… The Newport Transporter Bridge

Day Three: Bridgend to St Neots, Cambridgeshire. Actual distance 330k and 3,155m of ascent

I left Bridgend at 5am for the final trip to Barry, then along the coast to Cardiff, and back via Newport and Chepstow. When I hit the coast at Barry a very unwelcome head wind appeared and this was present throughout the day. In Chepstow I had a full English breakfast at the railway station buffet and the staff told me that regrettably there was no train service that day to Gloucester due to engineering works. Well, there was one temptation out of the way. Then avoiding the Forest of Dean again I repeated the A48 route north. However I was relieved to divert on to the advisory route near Westbury-upon-Severn and head to Pershore.

It was now mid-day and well over 32 degrees – the heat was intense and sapping my energy. I stopped and got my water bottle filled with water and ice, then minutes later while back on a rural road I stopped again and poured the contents over my head. The effect was brilliant. I was making slow progress, though, and the previous night I’d had much more energy, so I slept behind a hedge for an hour in the heat of the day, and resumed when the temperature dropped. In my experience it’s always wise to hide for such a snooze…otherwise some passing driver will stop and either wake you or worse still, dial 999.

In Pershore I was revitalised by iced coffee. I was following Nick Wilkinson’s excellent GPS route on my Wahoo and pushing on at a steady pace. The Stratfordupon-Avon spires among the trees looked beautiful on the approach, and then beyond was Wellesbourne and I surprised myself by cycling up the 17 per cent Edge Hill.

I arrived at McDonalds in Towcester at 10.30pm and the place was busy with families. I hadn’t seen another rider for hours and frankly I felt like a complete idiot. It was one of those moments when I ask myself “what am I doing here?” – looking wrecked in bib-shorts, jersey and a helmet. For once the McDonalds habit of filling your bidon with iced water paid off, and I left refreshed. I headed through the cool of the night to St Neots and got four hours sleep at The Premier Inn.

Day Four: St Neots to Witham, Essex. Actual distance 111k and 875m of ascent

The final day was again glorious and sun-drenched. I left St Neots at 7am and had seven hours to get back to Witham for the 2pm deadline. I arrived in Buntingford at 10am to find a group of riders in the shade outside Sainsburys, the perfect breakfast spot, and a huge relief to speak to others about our experiences of this epic ride. Phil Whitehurst and Alex Brown were there taking photographs and initially in my rather dazed state I thought they were riders, however they were just recording the event. Beyond Buntingford the heat was really intense – it was 34 degrees and the Essex countryside was bleached yellow by weeks of intense sunlight, looking more like Italy than south-east England.

I arrived at the Wetherspoons pub garden in Witham at 1.10pm, with 50 minutes in hand, to be met by the ACME team, Richard from the Paragon team and rapturous applause, plus the added bonus of the Wetherspoons bar and extensive lunch menu.

Many Audax routes are forgettable, but this one will live in my memory for a long time. It has epic qualities and seems quite straightforward on paper, but in reality challenges even the most experienced riders. Indeed of the 39 starters only 19 riders successfully completed this first edition of the ACME Grand. Sadly the dream of Team Paragon crossing the finish line together was not to be – but we will be back with renewed energy another day.

Cooling down… icecream on the Breacons Organised… Tom Deakins briefs the riders at the start of the ride

Arrivée magazine reported on this event in edition 141 (summer/autumn 2018) – from the perspective of those who set up the “café” on top of the Black Mountain in the Brecon Beacons. Enormous thanks are due to the Audax Club Mid-Essex (ACME) team for their huge efforts and encouragement, and especially to Tom Deakins for all his work on planning, organising and documenting this epic ride.