The Bristol-Glasgow-Bristol 1,600km (BGB), earned the soubriquet “Beautiful-Grim-Bananas” from Bristol-based rider, Mike Warren when he tackled the inaugural ride this year. Here’s his account of a punishingly long and bumpy expedition which tested his mental and physical stamina to the limits
SOMETHING WICKED BENEATH YOUR WHEELS
Arrivée154Winter2021
WORDS & PICTURES MIKE WARREN
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MIDNIGHT CAME clear and still. The moon shone brightly enough to wash out the Lakeland stars and condense my view to a pair of silhouettes – a lenticular cloud hanging over Harter Fell, and below it, the jagged droop of Hardknott Pass which ripped my world in two. My grotty chain was silent for the first time in days… because I was pushing my bike. Everything else was silent too. Lights off, road empty, air warm, wind absent. As I tiptoed up a ribbon of funhouse tarmac, an odd thought came. Here I am, staggering at a snail’s pace, in the dark, way behind schedule, with no accommodation to welcome me, and everything is working out just fine. Earlier and some way to the west, I’d persuaded a fully-booked tavern to park
me in a corner and fill me with pudding. As I was leaving, a group of young cycle tourists struck up a conversation. They had rooms above the bar that night. When I told them what I was doing, they ushered me upstairs to use their shower. So I was clean and fed, if a little drowsy. And with the weather so calm, I needn’t worry about the dangers of a dozy descent. At the col, I rolled out my mat by the roadside, put on a few layers and sank into a devouring ocean of sleep. How did five days of fine-weather, summer riding turn me into this creature? By now I was feral. I’d given up on sleeping indoors. At mealtimes I sat in shop doorways and drank whole pots of cream to keep my legs turning. I dreamed of sleep while waking; I woke like a startled animal. My plan had
splintered into a mess of odd timings and wild variations. My mood oscillated between triumph and despair. My pace mutated just as freely. In truth, I didn’t know I had a finish in me until the final 100km. Bristol-Glasgow-Bristol emerged from the mind of local organiser Will Pomeroy, whose Great Western Randonnées have invented scores of new Audax routes, and challenged plenty of seasoned veterans. The concept takes obvious inspiration from LEL, but the similarities end rather abruptly. Forget long pelotons, lively controls and stately Alpine climbs – BGB offers solitude, till receipts and stemchewing sickeners. Great Western regulars will note the organiser’s knack for hilly mischief and roads-less-ridden. BGB is what happens
