Debate | Issue 8 | Give Me A Sign

DEBATE ISSUE ISSUE07 08| |APRIL MAY 2016 2016

GIVE ME A SIGN - NZ Sign language - Tattoos are Chapters - The Patriarchy of Nursing -

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CREDITS PUBLISHED BY

EDITOR Laurien Barks lbarks@aut.ac.nz SUB - EDITORS Amelia Petrovich Julie Cleaver DESIGNER Ramina Rai rrai@aut.ac.nz CONTRIBUTORS Chantelle Cullen, Conor Leathley, Amelia Petrovich, Hayley Stevenson, Kieran Bennett, Shivan, Tharindu Jayasinghe, Matthew Cattin, Julie Cleaver, Daniel Vernon, Caterina Atkinson, Tyler Hinde ADVERTISING Harriet Smythe hsmythe@aut.ac.nz

Contributions can be sent to lbarks@aut.ac.nz

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CON TENTS Pg 4 Editor’s Letter

Pg 20 NZSL @ AUT

Pg 5 Prez Sez

Pg 22 A True Sign

Pg 6 SRC Sez

Pg 24 Mind Your Language

Pg 7 AUT Sport

Pg 26 In Short

Pg 8 Tattoos Are Like Chapter Titles

Pg 28 Emojis

Pg 10 Cool Shit

Pg 30 Reviews

Pg 12 Babe, At Times Men Are Nostalgic

Pg 32 Recipe

Pg 14 Signs Of Sexism

Pg 33 Comic

Pg 18 Signs You Need to Chill Out

Pg 34 Puzzles

AUSM.ORG.NZ

FA C E B O O K . C O M / A U S M D E B AT E

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pile of red-covered notebooks. Hell, I even introduced my passion to science – pulling off a calligraphy-based study amongst my grade seven science fair peers’ volcanoes, glass prisms, and ‘how much sugar is in your favourite drink’ displays.

But despite the hours I spent on the aesthetic of my cursive-based school work over the years, no amount of time compared to that I spent practicing my signature.

EDITOR’S LETTER Hey All, Back in the old days – when chalkboards were a thing, when internet was a luxury, and when cell phones were too big to carry, I attended primary school. Our days weren’t filled with learning to animate on a computer program, or familiarizing ourselves with the basics of website building like I see happening today. No…we spent an hour a couple times a week learning a little thing called ‘cursive’.

An art that was destined to be defaced with a big red ‘redundant’ stamp only a few years later.

Maybe it’s the romantic in me, but I adored the time spent writing and re-writing curly letters extended from the same, unbroken line of my pen. It reminded me of the letter and journal writing that took place in classic books, and encouraged me to write even more random notes and stories than I already was.

I took my love for cursive out of English class on a regular basis over the years. For the better part of grade six, seven, eight, and nine, my creative projects and posters looked like something out of the renaissance. Cursive leant itself to feathers, tea-stained pages, and blotchy ink, so the cover pages of my Drama, History, and English reports never failed to put on a bit of a show amongst the

I don’t know how old I was, but back in the day, having a beautiful signature was the dream. I would spend hours, notebooks, pens trying to figure out the perfect signature for eventual cheque signings, letter sign offs, and autographs (basic inevitable adult requirements), striving for the perfect balance between loops, curves, and flicks. Should I use my full name? An initial? My middle name? Should it be messy and sophisticated like a Doctor’s, or stunning and creative like a movie star’s?

If I could go back to little Laurien, scribbling away on the floor of her room, I don’t think I’d have the heart to tell her that she’s grows up to not give a shit. That all of her effort was wasted, her loops deflated, her curves grew saggy, and that autographs just aren’t a part of everyday life for the majority of human adults. It’d break her sweet, creative soul.

So this week, for one time only in honour of our Give Me a Sign issue, and lil me, I sign off with the signature all the practice amounted to. The final contestant of countless elimination rounds.

The deserted and forgotten representation of my name because… let’s be honest, it looks stupid.

Have a great week everyone!

PREZ SEZ

Kia ora AuSMers, On behalf of AuSM we would like to acknowledge the importance of New Zealand Sign Language week, as New Zealand Sign Language (NZSL) is recognised as an official language of New Zealand alongside Te reo Maori.

You can get involved by heading along to their weekly catchups in Newsfeed to learn a thing or two. It is a welcoming space for everyone to give it a go and learn. Did you know that AUT is the only place in New Zealand where you can train to become a qualified NZSL Interpreter? You would be trained by a team of lectures who include the most highly regarded people in their field.

URSHULA ANSELL AuSM President

If you are someone who knows a thing or two about NZSL, I’d love for you teach me some, because remember: knowledge is power so why stop learning?

Have a great week, Urshula

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SRC

Atereano Mateariki

Bianca Cox-Hahapata

Kia ora!

Hi Everyone,

My name is Atereano Mateariki. I am the Te Ara Poutama Faculty Representative on the AuSM Student Representative this year.

If there’s one thing that my 19 year old (soon to be two-decadeold) self has learned from one and a third years of paramedic study here at AUT, it’s that no one can make you do anything if you don’t want to (yay for consent). See, you can pay $8000 and not go to a single lecture. You don’t have to go to the free feeds three days a week. You don’t have to swim in the pristine pool

by MD, you don’t have to join a club, sports team or volunteer, and you certainly don’t have to read the library guides or even the rest of my blurb. But you’re missing out on a lot of fun and useful information if you don’t participate in the above, so I suggest you give as much as you can a go!

I am currently studying my final year in a Bachelor of Māori Development with a major in Māori Media. Outside of AuSM I work as a residential assistant at our AUT student hall of residence WSA (Wellesley Student Apartments). Outside university I volunteer at the student radio station 95bFM as a news reporter, news reader and backup radio show host. Post graduation I hope to be a part of the ever so growing Māori media and Māori journalism industry here in Aotearoa New Zealand.

In my spare time I like to admit to being a huge popular music nerd. With being a music nerd comes a love for going to see various musical acts from all over the country and world here in Tāmaki Makaurau. In my role as faculty representative for Te Ara Poutama students I hope to help them with whatever their academic needs may be and also be their voice.

Atereano Mateariki

It’s my honour to represent the South Campus for 2016 on the Student Representative Council. If you have anything you want done/ changed, anything you want clarified or even just want to know more about what’s happening out south, then #hollaforadollar!

You can find me by the pool, at the Monday free feeds or running from the annoyed residents of Meadowcourt Drive because I parked 20cm from their driveway.

Chow for now, Bianca Cox-Hahapata

AUT SPORTS

Athlete Profile – Kayne Conlan Kayne Conlan is currently studying toward a Bachelor of Sport and Recreation, majoring in Sport Management, and is also completing his co-operative placement with AUT Sport. Kayne is a Muay Thai fighter and Kick Boxer, and has been involved in his sport since he was seven.

Kayne currently holds the World Muay Thai Council (WMC) New Zealand Welterweight title, the World Kick Boxing Federation (WKBF) New Zealand Welterweight title, the WKBF South Pacific Welterweight title. This year will see Kayne compete for the WLF Intercontinental Light Welterweight Title.

How did you get involved in your sport?

I was introduced to Muay Thai around the age of seven by my uncle who was a wellknown and widely respected ring announcer (MC) at the time. It was around the age of 11 that I became officially affiliated with my first Muay Thai gym – Elite Thai Kickboxing.

I made the move to Strikeforce gym in order to continue pursuing my passion in Muay Thai. 13 years later, at 24 years of age, I’m competing nationally and internationally at top level under the Strikeforce banner.

How do you fit your sporting commitments/ travel around your uni life?

The day starts with a 5:30-6:00 am run or strength and conditioning training. I will then commute to university for my classes and study for the majority of the day. After uni, I make my way to my 6:00 pm training.

This is repeated for every day of the working week as well as Saturdays. I allow Sundays as my rest day and try to do as little as possible.

What are your sporting goals and where do you see yourself in five years?

My current goal is to work my way towards obtaining a world title as well as to make my way to various countries to compete against the best fighters in the world. Nearing the end of five years I will be heading towards retirement from fighting as I am well aware that the sport takes a heavy physical toll.

After this I would look into opening my own gym.

What is your favourite post training meal?

In my sport, due to weight requirements for fights I often do not have the luxury of indulging in tasty meals. However, the weigh

in for a fight is the night before and a meal I often crave after shedding 7-14 kg over the duration of my training camp (6-8 weeks) is some good Nando’s chicken with peri-peri chips.

What’s the best piece of advice you have been given?

I’ve been given numerous pieces of advice but the one that has stuck with me throughout my fighting career is, “don’t let your mind beat you” or “strong mind, strong fight.”

What gets you in the zone before a big match/race?

Before a fight I simply listen to some good music, relax and visualise the win.

You will be able to see Kayne in action at the annual China VS New Zealand on May 14 at the ASB Stadium and the King of the Ring on June 24 on Sky Sport.

Coming up next with AUT Sport -Interfaculty Basketball – starts May 5 -Interfaculty Volleyball – Tuesday May 10 -UTSNZ Table Tennis – Saturday May 21 -UTSNZ Badminton – Sunday May 22

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Tattoos are like chapter titles

Chantelle Cullen “My body is my journal in a way. It’s like what sailors used to do, where every tattoo meant something, a specific time in your life when you make a mark on yourself, whether you do it yourself with a knife, or with a professional tattoo artist” – Johnny Depp.

Recently I acquired a tattoo whilst I was down in Christchurch.

I always loved the thought of having a tattoo, just never really got brave enough to get one. It only took my sister deciding we were going to get one. Rung up one day, got it done the next.

Now, I’m not the type of person to be spontaneous on a regular basis. Getting a tattoo gave quite a few of my friends and family a bit of a scare, but I was happy with my spine-bodied moth and moon tattoo.

Personally, when I first see a moth, I think it’s ugly and stupid. Why would a small, brown bug keep flying at lights in a panicked fashion, just to manage to kill itself? The moon as well - it doesn’t look like a moon at first, just a large, dark circle.

But my favourite part of it, is that the more you look, the more you notice.

Tattoos are the best conversation starter.

I could talk to someone for hours about tattoo meanings, it’s always fascinating to see what other people’s personalities are like. The tattoo will not change their personality. The life experiences that the person has faced, the changes that have affected them greatly, and the new beginnings that have sparked a whole new meaning in their lives, is what has changed their personality. The tattoos are simply there because said person has decided that it is a significant enough story that it needs to be there to remind them every day.

I thought about why else, other than for

cultural reasons, somebody would tattoo themselves. One of the first answers that came up was ‘To Identify Themselves’, which sounds as though they couldn’t remember who they were and needed a permanent name tag. Turns out, it’s for zodiac tattoos, specific book series logos, etc. As I found, Google is very watertight with legitimate answers, so I continued reading. Other answers included; for style, gang/prison tattoos, and for profit. Little did I know, a woman got paid $15,000 to get a casino’s logo tattooed onto her forehead. Must be true, Google said so. The reasons are extremely varied, but in the end it comes down to the tattoo having a meaning in their lives.

I dont want to cover my old scars as such, but more concentrate on the new imprints on my skin that has a new, more positive meaning on my life.

For me, I wanted a reminder that the dark days are behind me and that I will keep going for the bright light ahead of me.

It will be difficult, but keeping my trusty friends by my side, and the entire universe in my view, I will be able to conquer it. I don’t want to cover my old scars as such, but more concentrate on the new imprints on my skin that has a new, more positive meaning on my life.

I have never met a person who got offended when I ask them what their tattoos mean. Their skin can be like a fairy tale book; full of stories and adventure, or their skin can be a simple poem; a small reminder to keep them going.

I like to think of the new addition to my body as a piece of art. It’s not insanely meaningful, but I have had a few changes in my life in the last year that have had such huge impacts that the tattoo is more of a reminder of what I went through. No, they weren’t huge changes like moving overseas, losing my entire family to a house fire, or getting married. But I did learn what was unhealthy for me mentally, and learn how to sort out my life and time so I can do things that I enjoy, like small trips around New Zealand and visiting friends on a regular basis.

I like to think that tattoos don’t really have a language. With the exceptions of actual quotes, which to fully understand them, you need to know the language. But imagery and colours are something that we can all interpret in our own ways. It can have the main meaning, which is the reason why it was first permanently inked into your skin in the first place. The second main meaning can be a million variations of that. We all see symbols and colours and have different emotional reactions depending on our backgrounds, ethnicity and religion. That is such a beautiful thought.

One of my biggest issues with tattoos, are the people who openly oppose it. I do understand where they are coming from, but I don’t agree with it wholeheartedly.

It has taken me until this past year to realise that we all live entirely different lives, things are all different for everybody.

We can’t all be the same person with our decisions.

In the end, tattoos are just pictures. But they are tattoos that the wearer can hold onto forever. They hold meanings that they want to share with the world, or hold close to their heart. Tattoos are an art form that can be carried around with them forever, for everyone to interpret in their own languages. I like that tattoos can bring people together like that.

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SAVE RAVE We have two Student Cards to give away this week! Save on everything from movies to food to travel to books and beyond with these bad boys. If you haven’t got one yet, email lbarks@aut.ac.nz with your name, campus, and one thing this year has taught you so far. These cards are also up for purchase – just 20 bucks can end up saving you a tonne!

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Babe, At Times Men Are Nostalgic SIGNS I NEEDED TO STOP Conor Leathley | Illustration by Tyler Hinde I’m not sure if I will ever forget what year it was when I first saw you. I don’t remember what I was wearing, or even where I happened to first see you. But it was in 2005, and I would be lying if I said that I hadn’t heard of you prior. You were dressed in all black, something that I would come to recognise you in. You were still so young back then, still finding yourself. I really didn’t expect you to have found greatness by the next time I would see you. Little did I know…

It was actually a long time until I saw you again, though much like the first time, I still remember it. 2008, at the World Youth Day in Sydney. I hadn’t gone there expecting to see you. It’s funny how the majority of the trip has ended up fading into the recesses of my memory, except for that night. All people could talk about was how amazing you had become. You had changed, that’s for sure. Your clothing choice had remained somewhat similar, but your voice had grown darker. I’m not sure about that friend of yours either, that guy that was so into face painting.

I don’t know what happened to him, but he sure was memorable. Much like that night.

I will never forget being there. Especially considering it was on a total whim that it even happened. But what you have to understand is that I just simply wasn’t ready that night. I have looked back on that since and wondered why I didn’t see it then. All the signs were pointing to it, but I was still so young. I still had so much more learning to do.

But by 2012, when I finally saw you again, I realised how wrong I had been. That it was you, it had always been you. It took that fateful encounter on Queen St with a bunch of friends for me to see it. Maybe it was because suddenly you weren’t so

perfect. People laughed at your voice, about how you walked funny after you hurt your back. Or maybe it was another character of a friend that you had, the one that no one could understand. But it was in your ‘inferior’ state that you became everything that I ever wanted.

that I decided to stay in and see you, instead of going out with my friends, that I knew I had a problem. I woke up the next morning, beside a full glass of vodka and coke at 7am, hungover and on the floor.

You? You were gone.

After that you finally began to feature heavily in my life. I would think about you constantly. You were such a source of inspiration for me. I saw what you went through, and it made me feel as though I could overcome any obstacle. I’d think about some of the words that you would say if things were getting tough, to get me through. Oh and the music that you would play. Unforgettable.

years I would go without seeing you.

Three years, one for 2005, one for 2008 and one for 2012. I’ve had the odd hiccup sure, but mostly I have stayed resolute. I guess it is about time that I mention that I did try and move on recently. In March actually, on the 24th. I went with a group of friends, who convinced me that this would somehow be better, an upgrade over you.

Afterwards, I even tried to convince myself that they were right. There were definitely things that you didn’t bring to the table.

But when I went back for a second time, at St. Lukes, I knew that I wasn’t even close.

It was never about you, it was all to do with me. I was the one who changed, not you.

Unfortunately, as it usually goes, all good things must come to an end. It was never about you, it was all to do with me. I was the one who changed, not you.

You were what I needed, but not what I deserved. You would often ask me why I was so serious. It was because I became obsessed. That’s when the problems started, if I’m honest. All I began to see was flaws, something that I would have never thought possible. It was the night

That’s when I made the decision. Three

There are times that I worry that I will see you, and I won’t know what do to. It could be at uni, or at a friend’s place, maybe even with a significant other. I suppose it is fitting that the day I decided to call it quits was on Valentine’s Day, 2015. Do I think about you much? In truth, no. I will occasionally sit back and reminisce, and look forward to that day in 2018. But there is just so much going on in my life right now, and I wonder if you would even be a part of it anyways. In saying that, I still know exactly what I will do when that day does finally come. First, I will start with Batman Begins, in your youthful glory. Then to 2008, The Dark Knight, in your absolute perfection. Naturally, I’ll finish it with The Dark Knight Rises, to some of your major failing, but to me it is an encapsulation of a near perfect trilogy. Then, and only then, shall I rejoice (now look back at the first letters of the title).

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Warning: This Article Contains Signs of Sexism Patriarchy: a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it.

You would think in 2016 we would have achieved equality by now. Ignoring the gender pay gap and the fact that positions of power are usually held by men, and aside from the occasional uneducated arse-hole, the working class plebs of the country would generally view their colleagues as fairly equal.

Though this is entirely untrue for those of us in the nursing world. Luckily for us caring, good-natured, hardworking, students in AUT’s nursing programme, AUT has had the foresight to give us the real-world experience of patriarchal institutions, so we are well prepared for what is to come once we get into the the

workforce. Nursing is plagued by low pay, understaffing and mounting work-loads as the DHB’s perpetually pinch their pennies. AUT students are also subjected to full-time, unpaid work, along with the usual University workloads (usually four papers, though some are subjected to five papers at a time).

Before I go on, it pretty important that we understand the history of nursing and how it has (or hasn’t) developed over time.

As early as circa AD500-900, nursing as a care profession was initially delivered by nuns and monks in a religious setting – the earliest hospitals attached to monasteries and convents. The general idea was to provide for the sick or demoralised of the community, the

unwanted and down-trodden, such as lepers or orphans and the poor. Even in the sixteenth century in Europe, nursing still had very religious connotations, with nuns working alongside modern medical scientists (doctors) in hospitals.

Although the nursing role in these days had no scientific background, the care delivered by nun-nurses was tolerated by professionals, as they were able to advocate for the patients and reduce the workload of the doctors. Being the middle-(wo)man also contributed to alleviating the fears of the poor/ peasants and raised their trust in medical doctors. This was invaluable not only for influencing the choice healthcare accessed by peasants, but also was beneficial to the growth of medical science.

You may have heard of a scary, yet ass-kicking old lady called Florence Nightingale. She is important to add to this history as she was basically the mother of the entire nursing profession as it is now. Although knowledge back then of germs, like bacteria or viruses, was not what it is now, smart ol’ Flo theorised that dirty air and living conditions were the cause of infection and subsequent death. This was particularly important during war time, where the filth and overcrowding of war-hospitals dramatically influenced a soldier’s chance of survival. Flo may not have known about the existence of bacteria, but her theory decreased the death rate by thousands, from almost half the soldiers wounded in war to less than five percent of soldiers wounded. She went on to open a school for training nurses, where she taught the importance of sanitary conditions.

Funnily enough, little old New Zealand was the first country to regulate nurses through registration in 1901. Nurses received three years training before sitting a state examination required for registration. At this time in New Zealand, if a nurse became pregnant or got married, she would have to leave the profession forever (as she had a husband to take care of, duh!), the only other option being to nurse for the Red Cross, which was unpaid. Although nurses were initially trained in hospitals, in the 1970s, training began to be carried out at tertiary institutions. This meant that nurses would complete a three year degree, including clinical training in hospitals, and state examination, similar how nurses had been originally trained in

hospitals. Like so many other workforces that consist mostly of women, nurses pay remains largely debated. Although newgraduate nurses receive higher pay when compared with new-graduates in other professions, nurses pay increments are small, and over time their incomes flatline at a much lower rate than those in other professions, who receive adequate increments and have higher earning potential. One could argue that nurses volunteer for low income when accepting the vocation, however as degree-holding professionals, one could also argue that this pay discrepancy is actually indicative of the gender-related pay gap experienced by those in women’s work, in line with other women’s work, such as teaching and childcare.

Nursing is plagued by low pay, understaffing and mounting workloads as the DHB’s perpetually pinch their pennies.

The Nursing Council of New Zealand regulates how nurses should be trained.

They have decided that a nursing degree should be full time for three years, and that this degree must be completed within five years. This just highlights how institutions (or the presence of the patriarchy) have dictated how and when women should live their lives. Although we can now be mothers and wives and

students all at once, there is no part-time option for those wishing to dedicate themselves to nursing as best they can while also nurturing their own children, or potentially adding to the family income (which reduces stress for all involved). Although it is acknowledged that families with two working parents will have more of an equal share in house-hold responsibilities (ie: cooking, cleaning, child-rearing), the research shows that women still take the majority of responsibility for these household responsibilities.

Women are more likely to report suffering exhaustion and having fewer moments of leisure. If one parent is earning an income while the other is studying, particularly if it is a female that is studying, she will be expected to take on even more household responsibility because she is not earning an income and the other party is “supporting” her.

Often students, from any discipline, can come under stress from the weight of academic study, particularly among other stressors, such as managing a family, or financial responsibility. Some of these students will be genetically predisposed to mental illness which may result from said stress, others may have already have ongoing mental illness. Mental health and well-being is essential for the academic student, without which we may turn into shaking, crying wrecks, experiencing palpitations and high blood pressure, spewing all over the place from the sheer stress of it all! Others may turn to drugs, alcohol or even suicide when they consider themselves as failures, all because they couldn’t make their workload more manageable.

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++++ At AUT, the nursing curriculum looks at the way environmental, social, economic, genetic, spiritual, etc etc, factors can influence a person’s overall wellbeing, however there are no allowances, such as part-time study, to practice what is preached.

A student last year was diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder and was going through a stressful court process to do with rape 15 years earlier. She approached me after reaching out to a person with the power to alleviate some of the stress. She’d

to light, with several students reporting vomiting, palpitations and fainting due to stress.

The amount of time spent in placements is significant as well. For example, students will spend more than 50 percent of the semester working in hospitals – unpaid.

Although this is considered a learning experience, a lot of the learning involves work typical of the average healthcare assistant’s job description, a job that is paid a living wage.

At AUT, the nursing curriculum looks at the way environmental, social, economic, genetic, spiritual, etc etc, factors can influence a person’s overall wellbeing, however there are no allowances, such as part-time study, to practice what is preached. asked them to allow her to complete some papers during summer school, instead of doing five papers at once (and with a seven week hospital placement in amongst it!)

She was asked if nursing was really what she wanted? Maybe she should consider dropping out? She felt she was being punished for having poor mental health at that time. She spoke of the irony that AUT Integrated Mental Health (NURS603) taught the theory of recovery and person-centred care, yet instead of being encouraged to persevere or having the issue tactfully dealt with, she was discouraged and made to feel like a cog in the wheel of the AUT nursing conveyer belt. I am proud to say she chose to stick it out, although the repercussions of surviving one semester meant further damage to her mental wellbeing. Similar incidents of students not coping came

Hospitals also staff wards based on how many students they will have, so they are relying on students to make up staff short-falls. Those students who are in paid healthcare assistant roles are in a position to learn from them, and the Nursing Council states that these positions can be included in the hours needed for registration, but it is up to the tertiary provider to negotiate how these will be monitored or negotiated.

Despite this information and a claim by Steven Neville (Head of Nursing) that, the number of student placement hours on offer at AUT are decreasing, AUT has refused to negotiate with healthcare providers to provide clinical educators to monitor these learning experiences simply for the fact that they are paid. Placement monitoring is usually done by way of a weekly log, which

includes hours, reflections and clinical skills that were practiced. There is no reason these logs could not be extended to paid healthcare work.

In response to the growing number of student nurses in Auckland, and subsequently higher demand for nursing placements, a member of the senior staff threatened that only students maintaining B grade averages would progress through the nursing programme. When clarified, he went back on this stating that only those in the first year core papers would be subjected to B grade averages. The concern is that those who come from lower socio-economic backgrounds are shown to have poorer health-literacy and lower academic achievement. What we know about low socio-economic populations is that they are predominantly Maori and Pacific Island populations who have a shorter lifeexpectancy than their Western peers. We also know that these ethnic cultures are more receptive to healthcare and lifestyle improvements when the information comes from fellow Maori or Pacific Islanders.

Ultimately, the only way to increase the health outcomes and life expectancy of Maori and Pacific Islanders is to encourage and enable Maori and Pacific Island students to branch into Health Science. Imposing B grade averages may not only deter these students from attempting in the first place, but may actually amplify the shortfall in Maori and Pacific Island nurses.

When students were advised earlier this semester that the number of placements in hospitals was being reduced due to the fact that AUT has growing competition from other tertiary providers, students were advised that if they did not show up for mandatory classes, then those students would lose priority for the limited number

++++ of placements. However the ongoing blackboard and timetabling issues that plague the nursing school means that students are often unclear as to which classes are mandatory, or miss classes if they are rescheduled at short notice. In response to the number of issues brought forward to the nursing school, another member of senior staff set up a board of student representatives -though it appears that this was a way to have a middle man to inundate the students with lame excuses for the shortfalls of the nursing faculty. Some of the issues raised include extremely poor quality lecture slides and class handouts which have not been spell-checked or checked for grammar (I suppose this is to teach the students how to read doctors writing?), lecture slides available online not being the same as the slides shown in class, lecturers not showing up for class either due to “forgetting”, not checking their diaries, or due to timetable changes at short notice (this affects lecturers as well as students). A member of staff expressed that he takes these concerns very seriously, however it seems that others may not be communicating these issues effectively.

image of someone who holds your hand to give you courage, wipes the heat from your forehead with a cold cloth and knows exactly what to do to relieve symptoms and make you feel better. ‘Nurse’, coming from the Latin word ‘nutrire’ (nurture, nutrition, to suckle) certainly doesn’t conjure up images of a stand-offish observer making judgments every second and who doesn’t want to get their hands dirty. Just the fact that nurses are still required to wear uniforms (but doctors aren’t) shows how patriarchal society influences women in their caring work; put them into a military category and tell them to prove themselves again and again, undermining those who just have a ‘gift’.

It seems to me AUT’s faculty of nursing could learn a lot from the faculty of culture and society, among other bachelor of artsbased faculties. Those arts faculties really seem to have their shit together! And why is nursing a science and not an art? When I think about it, it makes much more sense to learn how to be able to understand people from all walks of life and how societies work. Sure, assessment is the major part of nursing, but in a scientific way? We are dealing with people, are we not? Not numbers! Surely the “good” nurses are ones who are non-judgemental, caring and kind. The image of a nurse conjures up an

bachelor of artsbased faculties.

It seems to me AUT’s faculty of nursing could learn a lot from the faculty of culture and society, among other

Students I spoke to suggested having placements throughout summer, as there are no classes during this time, they would have the rest of the year to focus on their academic work. One student said “We are doing five papers, one of those is pharmacology. I barely have enough time to write my log after a full week of work, let alone reading a chapter a week for each

paper! I’m worried because this paper is the one that could make or break my career – If I do something wrong, my registration will be on the line!” Others suggested having summer school as an option for placements so that the semester workload could be reduced to allow them to properly study academically throughout the year, or implementing summer school as an option to complete a three year degree in two full years instead. I wonder, what was so wrong about having training in hospitals to begin with? Since nursing students are spending so much learning time in hospitals anyway, what would it matter? At least then, regardless of the uniform, they would get paid an apprenticeship wage like military training (Or men’s work). Given the fact that new graduate nurses must do extra training in order to put in IV luers or catheters, etc, what does an unpaid work-based degree have to do with the actual training? The two parts to becoming a nurse, the work experience and the higher education, seem horrendously outdated the way we are being taught. If placements in hospitals are so limited, then why shouldn’t nursing students be able to interview for “student nurse” positions, take the roles of healthcare assistants and work their way up while in paid employment?

Yes, patriarchy is alive and well in New Zealand. We are all at the mercy of ‘the Man’.

Nursing students, as you go forth with your studies, gritting your teeth until your head hurts, nod and smile all the way. We are a new generation of nurses and as such we will be able to put our best political foot forward to create a positive change that enables us to do the job we signed up for: our call to “care”.

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SIGNS YOU NEED TO CHILL OUT

Amelia Petrovich Being keyed up can be a great thing. When you’re alert and passionate there is a lot of shit you can get done in a day, and that’s powerful. However, sometimes, just sometimes, a person needs to know where to stop. In my experience there are a few telltale signs that you need to chill out, like really quickly, and I’m going to share them with you now before so you can learn to be the calm, well-balanced person I never have been.

Your lower eyelid is twitching This is a physical symptom that you’re flipping the fuck out. It’s actually so weird to observe because it’s absolutely outside of your control, you can be gazing at yourself in the mirror after your third consecutive sleepless night and watch your lower eyelid squirm around of its own accord.

I’ve asked people, and that’s not normal. It usually means you’re over-stressed or lacking sleep, both things that can

be cured really easily by chilling out. It also makes you look really unhinged, so I’d say that as far as signs go, this is a pretty good one.

You have playlists. Playlists to run to, playlists to get up to, just playlists everywhere Just chill out dude. Who are you to tell you how getting up in the morning is supposed to feel? Maybe you’d feel different on different mornings if you just let yourself. If you think that the same set of songs can fit a specific scenario every time then you are probably not okay and definitely wrong. Just search up songs one at a time as the mood strikes you and try not to have that same ‘Feeling Sad’ playlist on loop every time your mate doesn’t text you back.

Hozier doesn’t deserve to only be pulled out when you feel like junk.

“NOBODY ELSE IS EVEN AWAKE THAT EARLY TO SEE YOU AND EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT IF IT ISN’T WITNESSED, EXERCISE IS COMPLETELY INVALID AND POSSIBLY DIDN’T EVEN HAPPEN AT ALL.”

You exercise in the morning I’m the most geared-up person I know and not even I jump straight out of bed and into running shoes at 7:00am. If you’re a morning exercise person, you really need to chill out. Nobody else is even awake that early to see you and everybody knows that if it isn’t witnessed, exercise is completely invalid and possibly didn’t even happen at all. I mean, at worst, if you have to go for runs that early in the morning I hope you’re posting about it on Instagram quick smart. People need to know about that shit.

You have, at one stage, made a list of future baby names Unless you’re actually trying to have a baby sometime very soon, this one is going to worry virtually everyone around you.

Why do you need to be that prepared so far in advance? It’s not like when you’re finally required to name a child a ticker timer starts and everyone’s all like “three… two… ONE! Oh shit, too slow, sorry I guess your baby is named Maude now.” You’ll have time to think, and odds are you’ll be obliged to discuss it with a second party anyway. Chill.

Your coffee order is more than a few words long They don’t list a ‘Half-strength Mocha Soy Coffee With Sugar-Free Caramel Shot and

With White Marshmallows Only’ up on the menu for a reason.

You post controversial opinions as Facebook statuses and then ask people to ‘discuss’ I wish this was the way social media worked but it seems that it really isn’t, this is one recipe that can only end in tears (and if the topic in question is something you care a bit about, those tears will probably be yours). People are really mean and bigoted sometimes when they’re safe behind a monitor, and you’ll probably save yourself a whole lot of angst and un-chill feelings later on by just chilling early on instead and not doing that stuff.

You predict outcomes of your own decisions so ferociously you simply decide nothing instead You know how it is. You’re sitting at your desk and you kinda want to go for a walk.

You nearly get up to go for said walk when suddenly you’re frozen at your seat thinking, “hold on, is I go for a walk I’m probably going to go past Countdown because the only other way I can walk is towards the train station and there’s nothing good to see there, and if I pass Countdown I’ll probably go in and panic because I sort of want an ice block and they have to ones I like but I can’t have them right now because I’m doing that

sugar-free thing, but then again walking is good for you so actually I don’t know.”

Yeah… chill out with stuff like that.

You’ve sent the last three texts in a row I mean, they also need to get with the program and not be rude but maybe chilling out is an avenue you should consider too because I bet you feel pretty dumb right now don’t you?

You refuse to talk to certain people about certain things because you’ve already decided they can’t handle it There’s a lot to be said for holding your secrets close and building trust, but sometimes I think it really pays to give the people around you a bit of a trial go with some stuff that’s being weighing you down. Maybe it won’t work and then you don’t have to do it ever again, but don’t decide what people can and can’t deal with for them. Maybe things will be awesome.

You’re worried that like 9/10 items in your list article were sort of funny but then #9 suddenly got a lil’ too real Shhhh, just chill out.

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NEW ZEALAND SIGN LANGUAGE @ AUT New Zealand Sign Language Week takes place May 9 to 15, and this year marks the tenth anniversary as NZSL being recognized as an official language. So Laurien had a chat to NZSL Lecturer Lynette Pivac (interview interpreted by George Major), about sign language at AUT, common misconceptions, and the things AUT has planned for NZSL Week.

Having worked at AUT for over 25 years, and lecturing since 2000, Lynette is a walking, talking information pamphlet on what AUT offers in terms of NZSL. She was a joy to chat to, one of the most lively interviewees I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with, and her passion for AUT’s Deaf culture was beyond apparent.

Lynette explained that AUT offers two options when it comes to a BA in NZSL. One is in interpreting, which unsurprisingly can lead to a career as a

sign language interpreter. Interpretation takes place in health care, the courts, interviews/meetings, or theatre – opportunities are endless, she assured me. And this rang true for the alternative, BA in NZSL and Deaf Studies, as well.

“Deaf studies is often something you can add to another profession. So for example, if you work in education, you can work with Deaf children,” says Lynette. “You can do anything, absolutely anything!”

Having a knowledge of NZSL in any field of work has benefits that are incredibly appreciated by the Deaf community.

Lynette went on to tell me that even the smallest interactions make a big difference, using a third year NZSL student as an example. “Over Easter there was a rugby tournament and some paramedics didn’t know NZSL, but

the one who does could talk with Deaf people who needed first aid directly. It was fantastic!”

While many of us may not be in the same boat, and require an interpreter to communicate with members of the Deaf community, there are still some steps we can take to be more welcoming and respectful of their culture and language.

When I asked Lynette about common misconceptions, or things people said that might be unintentionally offensive, she initially answered that there were many. However, the main issue she listed was that of assuming Deaf people needed “help.”

“A lot of people say ‘I’d like to learn SL so I can help deaf people’, and that’s not an image Deaf people are comfortable with.

The important thing is to empower Deaf people, because they can do things for

“Lynette then went on to explain that within the community, being Deaf is seen as positive.

They have their own language, culture, and are very rich in their sense of community” themselves,” she expresses. “That’s from a very medical point of view, that deafness means you’re missing something.”

Lynette then went on to explain that within the community, being Deaf is seen as positive. They have their own language, culture, and are very rich in their sense of community. They can do everything, they do not need a lot of help, as they don’t see themselves as lacking anything. They strive for empowerment, not help, and that’s what a large part of the courses focus on – hearing people working alongside Deaf people for this purpose.

What struck me most about the “not missing anything” comment was how music was pieced into Deaf peoples’ lives. It’s always been an aspect of Deaf culture that peaked my curiosity, and with the recent appearance of Nyle (Deaf contestant on Dancing With The Stars) taking over media, I asked how dance, music, and film affected life in the Deaf community.

Lynette said whilst not everyone is interested, there are some individuals who enjoy dance and song (though other Deaf people would probably lean more toward creative storytelling and comedy).

“With people who do sign singing, you can see a beautiful rhythm. It isn’t based on English, so it’s a really creative way of using SL – setting it to song,” Lynette says. “It’s a pleasure to see beautiful sign singing, like listening to someone singing a beautiful song.”

“That’s from a very medical point of view, that deafness means you’re missing something.”

Though she looped back to Nyle on Dancing With the Stars and stated that while it was lovely to see a man with passion explore dancing on television, she did not enjoy watching because the program was not subtitled. This has proven to be more of an issue in New Zealand than overseas in places like America or the UK, because there is no legislation saying television programs or films must be subtitled. In fact, Lynette states Deaf people often love going to the movies, but only when they are

subtitled – which can be an issue of access here in New Zealand. There is a worry that subtitles will make it more distracting for hearing people, but are necessary if we hope to achieve an equal viewing experience with those in the Deaf community.

As our chat drew to a close, Lynette exclaimed “there are going to be so many events at NZSL week that it’ll be hard to choose what to go to!” Elaborating by saying AUT will be hosting a number of activities this week in the WG building of City campus, as well as on North and South campuses. Everything from learning how to sign your name, the alphabet, general information about NZSL will be taking place, and everyone is welcome.

Always looking to educate and welcome new interested students, Lynette and the NZSL community here at AUT meets every Monday at Newsfeed at 11am to practice sign language.

“Even if you just know a few signs but want to practice,” Lynette says, “you are welcome to come and join us.”

If you would like more information about how to get involved with NZSL at AUT, just contact Cynthia D’Souza at cdsouza@aut.ac.nz.

21

A True Sign Julie Cleaver It was 8am. I was actually at my lecture. It was going to be a good day.

“Big Brother has a varying level of verisimilitude,” said the professor, whilst shifting her glasses closer to her eyes.

The audience didn’t make a sound.

Aware of the silent confusion in our heavily bagged eyes, the tutor elaborated. “Verisimilitude means how truthful something appears. It comes from the Latin word veritas, which you know, means truth. Use it in your essays kids it’ll make you seem smarter,” she said with a chuckle.

Don’t tell anyone, but during the day I went shopping and bought a new dress to wear. I then walked to his Ponsonby pad after uni, found his big shabby villa, and nervously knocked on the door.

It was nine in the morning by the time it finished, and the only thing I retained from the entire lecture was that one word: verisimilitude.

Again, silence.

She smiled at herself then continued to explain the significance of reality TV in today’s day and age. Welcome to a communications degree. She continued on for a while, eventually coming to the conclusion that there is indeed no verisimilitude in reality TV. Shocking.

It was nine in the morning by the time it finished, and the only thing I retained from the entire lecture was that one word: verisimilitude. I scribbled the definition in my diary and shuffled out of class.

I was distracted in that lecture for several reasons. 1) Because I’m a night-bloomer, 2) Because reality TV is barely interesting to watch, let alone talk about, and 3) Because someone was on my mind.

A week earlier I met a guy in a bar at my sister’s birthday.

He was nice, tall-dark-and-handsome, and we clicked like lego. However, we hadn’t caught up since the party, as there had been a slight mishap with our numbers (I accidentally gave him the wrong one…). But that evening, I was finally going to see him.

“Hey!” I was greeted with a hug.

“Hey, glad I found it!” I replied, smiling.

He lived in an old house, like seriously old – now it’s classified as a historic building. But it was nice and cosy and I felt like I had seen it before (and if you’ve seen Hunt for the Wilder People, you’ve seen it too! It’s the house at the end - fun fact). Anyway, I hung out with him and some of his flatmates that night. We talked about technology and life and language and all sorts of fascinating topics. Eventually, Mr. tall-dark-and-handsome said something I found rather interesting.

“I learnt a new word today!”

And I kid you not, he said what you think he said. This actually happened, and unlike Big Brother, you can trust that my story is completely full of verisimilitude.

And for the record, I’m still with Mr. tall-dark-andhandsome two years later.

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Mind Your Language Amelia Petrovich Illustration by Tyler Hinde It’s just gone midnight and I’m slowly falling asleep but I just have to try and articulate this really quickly before I go.

I think motivational words and quotes are a goddamn waste of your sweet, sweet time.

I know this because I went to school with a lot of girls who ran Pinterest accounts, and because I’ve been to cognitive coping therapy.

These girls who I grew up with have always been highly effective people. They bake, they have wall planners, they’re immaculate and they’re lovely, lovely people to talk to.

My only qualm with any of them is those Pinterest boards full of ‘inspiring’ quotes designed to motivate you through your working week. It’s an onslaught of “you were born an original, don’t die a copy”, a flood of “wake up, kick ass, repeat”.

They’re all good sentiments, but I’ll be damned if any of those punchy fonts and that confident language actually broke through and resonated with me. I thought maybe those girls just had more faith than I did, maybe “anything worth doing is worth doing well” should be the kind of thing that could drag me out of bed in the morning.

Maybe, like most things, this was just another area where I was defective.

It took a GP visit and an incredibly patient counselor before I understood why all those well-meaning self-help phrases were as good as gibberish to me.

I think that when you reblog or pin every motivational, inspiring phrase under the sun you’re speaking someone else’s happy language and not your own.

Motivational quotes don’t work for you because they’re meant to work for everyone. Telling any human to “believe in themselves” is objectively pretty good advice, like if a person can actually do that it’ll most likely render positive results. The thing is though, people are specific rather than general and incredibly complex- one person’s magic language doesn’t work for everybody else and nor should it.

I was asked to pay close attention to the way I spoke to myself when I was at my absolute lowest. I found there wasn’t a whole lot of “I don’t believe in myself” or “nothing I’m doing is worth doing well”, but I was quite prone to scolding myself with

words like “stupid” and “lazy”. That was the de-motivational stuff I did, so it became the stuff I worked with to feel better.

I’m not the kind of person who can be cured by a wall hanging that tells me to ‘EVERY DAY BE A LITTLE BIT BETTER’, that’s the kind of thing that would make me dissolve.

But if instead of being “lazy” I’m “doing all that I can right now” I start to pat myself on the back a little more. Just a little, not a total revolution… but it’s there.

I think that when you reblog or pin every motivational, inspiring phrase under the sun you’re speaking someone else’s happy language and not your own. That’s why you don’t feel much, the words are not meant for you. It’s got a pretty ring to it, but there’s just nothing personal about Winston Churchill telling you from beyond the grave “if you’re going through hell, you should keep going.”

Having you tell yourself that things will be okay in your language though… that’s a whole different deal.

“I’m doing all that I can right now” and “I have a lot of people interested in the things that I know and contribute”, but maybe you “are exactly where you need to be” and “are a badass bitch”.

I don’t speak your language, but I think that maybe you could, and that’s pretty cool. Just stay off Pinterest.

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IN SHORT

Paula Bennett Announces Ambitious Target of 100 percent Looking Busy However, the day after celebrations ended, many world leaders realised that the historic accord would in fact require countries to make genuine changes. Former Climate Change Minister Tim Grosser quit soon after, and Paula Bennett slithered her way into the role.

Kieran Bennett After joining over 150 countries in the signing of the Paris Climate Agreement, Climate Change Minister Paula Bennett has announced a target of, by 2020, to appear as though she is actually doing some form of work.

The Paris Climate Agreement is the result of months of climate related pontification and hand wringing. Over 150 countries came together over the course of several days to come to the conclusion that the environment is mildly important and that perhaps something should be done about it. After the agreement was reached, many world leaders celebrated the occasion, taking the opportunity to congratulate themselves on a job well done.

With mucous dripping from several of her appendages, she was quick to not only sign the agreement and begin the ratification process, but to also assure the public that she would be working hard at appearing to do something about the problem of climate change. Speaking to Jack Tame on TVNZ’s Q&A, Bennett assured Tame that climate change was a “high priority” for her and that as soon as something could be done about it without putting too much work in, she would do it. With several bulbous growths set to burst she then went on to say that she felt it was important that things not change too much in New Zealand. “While this is the greatest environmental threat if our time, I’m committed to not actually changing anything if it makes people a bit uncomfortable”. She then went on to say that one of her first moves in the ratification process would be to meet with a variety of experts, ignore them, and then claim to be “processing the information”.

This has all culminated in Paula Bennett declaring that by 2020 no actual work on climate change would have been done, however at least 26 000 pages of reports and consultations would have been produced. The target has been blasted by industry insiders as “unrealistic”, with many experts questioning whether anyone could be that fucking hopeless at their job.

Government Could End Housing Crisis Any Day Now

in fact have the power to end the housing crisis. Speaking to press, Prime Minister John Key said that there were “multiple initiatives” that they were considering. He then went on to say that most of them were useless as they in fact had the ability to snap their fingers and make the entire crisis go away. “Look, we’ve found he whole ‘entire generation of people locked into renting’ real funny, but we could make it all go away tomorrow if we wanted to” said Mr Key to assembled press.

Kieran Bennett

When asked exactly what the government would be doing to cool the volatile market, Mr Key chuckled wryly, tapped his nose and said that it was all a matter of “supply and demand” and that “interest rates are involved somehow”. After being pressed as to what exactly those statements said, Mr Key said that the OCR would be cut, inflation would jump around and that capital gains would increase.

However upon being informed that none of what he said made any sense whatsoever from an economic point of view, Mr Key said that he was confident that he understood the years long process, societal, global and economic conditions that led to the housing crisis and that fixing it would be “child’s play”.

After the average Auckland house price rose yet again, the Government, in an uncommon show of actual action has stepped forward to say that they have the power to end the housing crisis whenever they like.

Auckland house prices have been rising at a steady, but uncontrollable rate over the past few years with many becoming concerned that the market is now completely inaccessible. When the average price in Auckland passed over 800 000 dollars, the pressure mounted on the government to step in.

So now, bucking a month long trend of sticking their fingers in their ears and screaming; the government has announced that it does

The OCR is expected to be set at two percent on Friday, and will be changed to a small picture of a cat on Monday. The cat is expected to lower mortage repayments.

All Signs Lead To...?

Hayley Stevenson I guess it must be a really bad year to be awesome - Lemmy, Bowie, Glen Fry and now the man who never called himself King, Prince!

What a mystery his death was to the music world and the fact he did not leave a will.

an emergency landing: “Wait a few days before you say your prayers”.

unfounded reports that six months ago, Prince was diagnosed with AIDS.

Save your prayers till when, was it a clue?

Does this point to the fact his death was accidental, that he did not tie up loose ends before he died? A sign that someone has decided to kill themselves is often them getting their affairs in order.

Does this point to the fact his death was accidental, that he did not tie up loose ends before he died?

What about the impromptu dance party on the Saturday night before he died that he threw for fans with a 10 dollar cover charge? Was that a sign that he was checking out?

What about the recent discovery from Prince’s ex - attorney claiming that for 20 years Prince was addicted to Percocet the same pain killer Michael Jackson was addicted to.

Then there was the strange comment he made after his hospital admission after

Some closest to him claim he never took hard drugs and now we are dealing with

He never stopped giving and his recent tour was actually all given to charity to raise money for the under privileged and the homeless, something which Prince was so humble about, never making public.

But who was looking after Prince at home hours after he was discharged after he supposedly was given a ‘safe shot’ to counteract a drug overdose six days before he died?

Why was he found in the elevator, was he in an elevated state? All these questions will be revealed over the coming weeks after a thorough autopsy and an investigation, leaving no stone unturned.

27

Emoji Shivan We are slowly moving away from communicating in words to communication in emojis, a symbol that encompasses our feelings right in the moment; which we are too lazy to type. From laughing so much we are crying to the dancing lady, these symbols have made life so much easier to communicate. In my opinion most conversations no longer require words, we can spell out a whole conversation, hell even the lyrics to particular songs which just a sequence of emojis.

Emojis have played a big role in fashion especially in the past few years. It’s taken its place as a symbol in pop culture for this generation; designers like Moschino have made their brand by incorporating these pop culture symbols into fashion. We find that more designers are trying to bridge fashion by taking from the past and incorporating elements from the current pop culture and rise in technology.

I recently came across this talented designer whose work does exactly this, incorporate elements of the past with current pop culture and technology into fashion. Nicola’s designs are known for its silhouettes and eye pop patch work. She has an interesting take on fashion, somehow incorporating the melting pot that was the 90s into her clothing. Taking elements like high-waisted skirts, baggy pants and dramatizing them. As well as incorporating patchwork and textures to incorporate current pop culture elements. We decided to pair an Asos denim bomber to tie this look in together.

Emojis have replaced a big part of our method of communication especially in the past few years and I see them becoming a bigger part of our lives in the near future. We are slowing moving away from written forms of communication and prefer visuals. There is a fast paced convenience in communication in visuals; however it does leave a big room for interpretation. Yet the direction we are headed amazing visuals are required for everything. In the spirit of this week’s magazine we give you this final image, showcasing Nicola’s amazing patch work skirt.

Model: Vanessa from Unique Model Management H&M: @Madeupbyruth Emoji Skirt by: Nicola Luey @notnicola Photographed & styled by: Yours truly @gathum (www.gathum.co.nz)

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REVIEWS If I was forced to pick my favourite movie from the year so far, Zootopia would win easily. I went in with high expectations and every one of them was met: gorgeous animation, brilliant, well rounded characters, a decent story all topped up with an inspiring message that puts Inside Out to shame.

The movie is set in the world of Zootopia where all animals have evolved to live alongside one another in peace. Judy Hopps becomes the city’s first ever bunny-cop, but is discounted by her colleagues because of her size. When a number of predator animals go missing, Judy teams up with a sly, con artist fox, Nick Wilde, to crack the case before she gets fired.

ZOOTOPIA Directed by Byron Howard and Rich Moore Starring Ginnifer Goodwin, Jason Bateman, Idris Elba Reviewed by Ethan Sills

The best part of the movie is that there is a lovely moral message about tolerance and acceptance weaved throughout the film, but unlike some kids movies they don’t make a huge song and dance about it. The morals are simply there and up for interpretation, which is the best thing a movie like this could do. You could possibly accuse the writers of being too subtle: I saw it with my relatively intelligent eight and 10 year old cousins, and both of them were more interested in the plot than the morals, though that could be a good thing.

Ultimately, the movie is about two fantastic characters in Judy and Nick who are bound to become as iconic as any of the princesses from Disney’s past. It was simply a beautiful movie in terms of story and animation, one that deserves every bit of praise and recognition it’s earnt so far.

A depressing mix of Arthur Miller’s The Crucible and YouTube’s screaming goats, The Witch is about as grim as films get. Set in that god-awful hellfire and brimstone era, where Christianity was about as fun as crucifixion, we follow a family in exile, forced from their plantation into the wilderness.

They decide to settle on a clearing on the edge of what may have been Fangorn Forest. Now, I’m no expert on witches, but if witches were ever to live in a forest, it would be this one. Like those stubborn hairs on a shaved knee, the forest is the real MVP, creating a sense of claustrophobia throughout.

Scares are rather infrequent, but an oppressing sense of dread is not, hanging over the film until its finale. Several moments of utterly disturbing imagery will no doubt far outlast any jump scares, however.

THE WITC H Directed by Robert Eggers Starring Anya Taylor-Joy, Ralph Ineson, Kate Dickie Reviewed by Matthew Cattin

Authenticity was very much strived for, from the handmade costumes to the dialogue pulled from journals and documents of the time.

The efforts do not go unnoticed, particularly with the sometimes confusing ‘thee, thy, thou’ heavy dialogue.

Performances were strong, the atmosphere was crushing, and scares were original, but I definitely felt the run time. Still, great to see a horror film relying on more than titties and cheap scares.

MATT CORBY

SHIHAD

Telluric Tour | Town Hall Reviewed by Laurien Barks

Three Gigs. One Day | Powerstation Reviewed by Tharindu Jayasinghe

Having missed Matt Corby’s last Auckland appearance, I was giddy with excitement to get to know this dream boat’s live gig style.

Though his latest Telluric album wasn’t my favourite, I can safely say my excited expectations were met, and his thoroughly chilled performance was money, time, and fandom well spent.

Has there ever been a more apt way to kick off New Zealand Music Month than to have the premier rock band of the country play three free concerts in the three major cities of the land within a single day? Perhaps even more outrageous feats will be accomplished in the future but this was fun either way.

I was thrilled to hear old favs like Revolution and Brother grace the stage at moments that perfectly complimented his scattered Telluric set list– and the sing-along that consequently occurred was a welcome break from the teeny-boppers screaming their hormone-fueled hearts out (though who can blame them?).

Shihad played Christchurch at midday, Wellington at 5pm and then Auckland at 9pm. They were late for the last leg (all was forgiven, no qualms) but Mikey Havoc from Radio Hauraki held the fort by being the house DJ until about 9:45pm when the cavalry came and took the stage to open with Home Again (our alternative national anthem?). Heavier tracks followed which carried the sentiments of their last studio album FVEY [Five Eyes] that dispelled any feeling of the band going soft. Front-man Jon

A satisfyingly relaxed night, sound-tracked by the voice of an angel, I have absolutely nothing to complain about. His flute solos were probably the most pleasant surprise of the evening, adding a ridiculously cool dynamic to both the audio and visual of the performance that I can’t help but hope catches on with other artists.

Toogood expressed his sadness in missing the Iron Maiden show at Vector Arena but quickly turned his displeasure around and set the place alight with incredible energy and endurance. An encore of The General Electric and You Again ended the show and ushered in another month long celebration of New Zealand music.

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KALE CHIPS •

½ bunch kale leaves

Directions

•

½ tablespoon extra virgin olive oil or melted

1) Preheat oven to 175C. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper

coconut oil •

1 ½ tablespoons nutritional yeast

•

1 teaspoon garlic powder

•

¾ teaspoon chili powder

•

½ teaspoon onion powder

•

½ teaspoon smoked paprika

•

¼ teaspoon fine grain sea salt

•

1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper (optional)

2) Remove leaves from stems and roughly tear into large pieces. You can use the stems in smoothies if you want to save them.

3) Wash and spin leaves until thoroughly dry.

4) Add kale leaves to large bowl, massage in oil until fully coated. Sprinkle in the spices and toss to combine.

5) Spread kale onto baking sheet in a single layer.

6) Bake 10 minutes, rotate the pan, and bake for another 12-15 minutes until kale begins to firm.

7) Cool the kale on the sheet for 3 minutes before digging in. Enjoy immediately or they lose their crispness. www.ohsheglows.com

Whoops! Our bad! Turns out we skipped ahead and printed the wrong comic last week! If you’re confused by the huge gap in this cartooned saga, hopefully this sorts it all out for you.

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