Debate | Issue 21 | 2016 by Debate Magazine

DEBATE ISSUE 21 | SEPTEMBER 2016

AUSM PRESENTS

C E L E B R AT I O N BA L L

SATURDAY 12 NOVEMBER Eden Park Ballroom TICKETS

$100 (AUT Students) $120 (all other guests) TICKETS INCLUDE 3 Course Dinner 3 Complimentary Drinks A Cash Bar DJ and dancing Goodie bag

AUCKLAND STUDENT MOVEMENT @ AUT

Lumiere Ball is an R18 event Purchase tickets from www.ausm.org.nz

CONTENTS 4

12 Clap Clap Riot

Cheap Entertainment or Smart Change?

5 Prez Sez

Worst Albums Ever Made

Equal Footing

6 Mums On Campus

In Short

Recipe

What Happens When You Travel Sober

2 8 Reviews

Cool Shit

Editor’s Letter

Give Up The Ghost

Average Ways to Deal With Stress

Puzzles

C O V E R I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y T Y L E R H I N D E

EDITOR Laurien Barks lbarks@aut.ac.nz SUB - EDITOR Amelia Petrovich DESIGNER Ramina Rai rrai@aut.ac.nz

CONTRIBUTORS Amelia Petrovich, Benjamin Matthews, Kieran Bennett, Shawn Cleaver, Reegan Hill, Chantelle Cullen, Mitch McFly, Ethan Sills, Caterina Atkinson, Tyler Hinde, Natalie Lim ADVERTISING Harriet Smythe hsmythe@aut.ac.nz

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Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, Soar Print or its subsidiaries.

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This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUCKLAND STUDENT MOVEMENT AT AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY INCORPORATED (“AuSM”). Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly. Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AuSM.

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EDITOR’S LETTER Hey All, A couple weekends ago, some dear friends and I made our way up north for a gorgeous winter bach trip. We lucked out and managed to find an affordable bach with a spa, fireplace, a pet chicken, and a pretty decent beer pong table. I don’t know your recipe for happiness…but that’s mine. We also just happened to be situated very close to one of my favourite places in the world. Ocean Beach was a teeny tiny drive away, and I tell you, even in the rain it was a gorgeous place to be. Running up and down those sand dunes, climbing rocks that jut out into the waves, and just generally feeling like a happy AF, free-spirited dork are all contributing factors to this beach’s pizazz. I’ve never really had a favourite beach before I met this one. Having grown up in a landlocked and very wintery Canadian province, beaches weren’t really a thing. My summers were spent in mountain ranges, waterfalls, lakes, and pine trees, and it was

always a spectacular time, but the ocean was a rare sight for the first decade of my life. My first memorable beach experiences didn’t introduce themselves until I was about 12 years old. My parents started taking my brother and me to the tropics, and I wasn’t too sure what to expect. I was hella excited, but what were we to fill our days with if we were without mountains to climb and bikes to ride? Little did I know, waves are the most beautiful creation on the whole damn planet…I was hooked.

Not in an I-wish-this-had-been-my-life kind of way, because I adored my own slice of nature, but I wouldn’t have turned my nose up at a family camping trip or two on a Northland beach. Those trips and memories sear themselves onto who you are and become these sanctuaries of happiness that are so ridiculously nostalgic and comforting – there’s no other feeling quite like it. I would love to be able to mirror my Kiwi pals, and have that one special New Zealand beach that holds a particularly generous piece of my heart. One that feels like home no matter how long it’s been since I visited.

I boogie boarded, body surfed (tried to… still trying to master it), tumbled, rolled, and swam in those bad boys for hours. Some days my bro and I would be in the water for eight hours a day, only pausing when Mum annoyingly called us in for useless reasons (sunscreen, food, water). I fell for the beach, and soon my heart was split between two great loves – the ruggedness of the mountains, and the grace of the sea. How was a girl to be completely satisfied if she was always forced to choose between the two?

This latest bach trip, it dawned on me that Ocean Beach is slowly but surely becoming that place for me. It’s got the ruggedness and mountains to remind me of summers gone by, along with the joys of sand and waves that took me far too long to discover. I may never be 100% percent Kiwi, but I just might earn myself the right of passage that each one of y’all seems to have. A sandy home away from home that feels like it was made just for you.

Cue New Zealand. I’m jealous of the Kiwis who grew up with New Zealand beaches.

Laurien

Have a great week!

Prez Sez

U R S H U LA A N S E L L AuSM President

ROSE TEI

M a t u r e S t u d e n t Re p r e s e n t a t i ve

Kia ora guys!

Hi Everyone,

The Student Representative Council elections is an important time for us all. These are the people who become our voice within AUT. This year, the role for President isn’t up for grabs as it’s a two year term. But there are four different people going for Vice President, so we are all spoiled for choice. Please remember as you vote the position for Vice President, that this person works 20 hours for AuSM,so it’s very important. You will soon see the campus (if you haven’t already) covered in many different posters! In saying that, every position is important, so please think before you vote! They are students just like you, and will be elected to represent our collective student voice and to stay on top of the big issues facing students here at AUT.

Only weeks to go!

There are seven positions that nobody went for, which shocks me, as this is an amazing way to get involved around University where it really matters. If you have a change of mind or weren’t able to sign up in time, come along to our Special General meeting on the 20th of October where we will elect people into those positions. Make sure to bring your friends, as you will need those votes! Up for grabs is:

Yes, we’re almost at the end....the last few weeks of uni are here! Find the will within yourself to get things done, dusted, and out of the way! For me, this will be my final push.... graduation is in sight, and that´s all the motivation I need. For these last few weeks, I encourage those who are campaigning to be a part of the AuSM family tree to go hard. Let´s get amongst it all, and vote for the up-and-coming members. Keep an eye out for their posters, social media pages and vote, vote, vote for your student voices of 2017. Also, if you haven´t already, get your tickets to the AuSM ball, it´s going to be grand and luminous! Get your pretty frocks sorted, that handsome attire looking beautiful, and come celebrate the end of the year with friends from uni! Hope to see you all there. Enjoy the rest of the year, work smarter not harder, and always do it with a smile! Peace, Rose

• Māori Affairs Officer • Pacifika Affairs Officer • International Affairs Officer • Health & Environment Sciences Faculty Representative • Te Ara Poutama Faculty Representative • South Campus Representative • City Campus Representative If you have any questions please feel free to contact me at Urshula.ansell@aut.ac.nz

Mums on Campus Benjamin Matthews Most students have it easy. Yes, they have to deal with writing essays (hopefully not just before the deadline), have to wake up at ungodly hours just to go to lectures, and try to suss out the latest fashion trends. But add the responsibility of looking after children into the mix, and juggling university life with family life becomes a struggle. A group of AUT mums hope to ease the burden by creating a Facebook support group. First-year student and founder of Mums On Campus, Jessica Brown, started the Facebook group as a way for fellow student mums to meet up and socialise. Because studying while bringing up kids can become hectic, Jessica explains - no one has time to catch up. “We found this Facebook group as a way of still being able to be in touch with other mums that are going through the same kinds of things,” Jessica says. “It’s hard for us mums to have that connection.” Since the group has only recently been formed, there aren’t any plans to organise events and meetups. Jessica says it isn’t possible or feasible at the moment to hold activities. However, she is

currently trying to get a grant to provide activity kits for the kids during the school holidays “Hopefully, we can support the mums that way because they don’t line up with the university holidays,” Jessica explains. “So all of us are going to have our kids with us for two weeks during the school holidays.” Jessica is currently trying to find a space that is kid-friendly on campus. Although there is a room in the library that has a computer and toys for kids, it can only be used by one or two people at a time. Jessica hopes to find a bigger area for kids to go, especially during holidays when there are more children on campus. Jessica says this room will allow kids to make more noise than they would in the library. Jessica says there’s no limit on how old the mums’ children can be. The kids’ ages range from about four months to 17. The group is currently associated with the AUT crèche, which Jessica’s son goes to. They are also affiliated with the Mature Student Club, which Jessica says crosses a bit with what the group does. Jessica currently studies spatial design, which is a cross between architecture and interior design.

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Give up the Ghost Amelia Petrovich | Illustration by Tyler Hinde

Ah shit, there’s no way to begin this delicately- last week I got ripped into for becoming a ghost. It wasn’t something I’d intended to happen; actually it wasn’t even something I knew could happen. To be honest, even as what happened was still happening, I had neither a notion nor inkling how much of a supernatural prick I was being. It started with a busy week. I’d been chatting on and off over Facebook to a friend overseas. They were a relaxed kind of person, the sort of friend who you could hit up at any time of night with an irritating question without wondering if they’d un-friend you. That kind. As it happened, I was starting an internship that week and on Monday morning, day one of crazy pseudo-work madness, I got a reply from the mate in question. “I’ll respond when I’ve got time today, they’ll understand,” I told myself. A week went by.

Last week marked a month since I’d seen that fateful message, and my god was I abruptly jolted out of my tunnel hiding. “Hey, fuck you, I can’t do this anymore.” My super chilled friend had reached boiling point while I was away, and the worst part was I hadn’t given a second thought to what I was neglecting to do.

It’s incredibly easy to put people off online, but for that reason it’s paramount we make that effort every so often. ‘Ghosting’ is a term I’ve found since, normally used to describe the sudden cease in communication (Facebook, Snapchat, texts, whatever) that happens when one person no longer wants to date the person they’re attached to. My foreign buddy and me weren’t dating, but what we had was certainly a relationship and I had faded well and truly out of it.

Another followed. That friend of mine never chased me up with a second message and the few Snapchats I’d sent their way were opened but unreciprocated, so I assumed they were busy too and went on my marginally merry way. I dove head first into a new university semester and every stress under the sun, tunnel vision.

I feel like social media users of today cop a lot of flak for using the internet to sustain superficial connections, but there are real, dizzyingly complex people behind the series of screens that punctuate our lives. I had thrown myself at the “real” world with such fervor that everything else I was up to eclipsed the little red notification telling me that a friend was seeking companionship.

It’s incredibly easy to put people off online, but for that reason it’s paramount we make that effort every so often. If a person walks up to you at the bus stop and says, “Hey man,” you aren’t likely to blank them, but on Facebook you can just turn into Casper and float away. If we want to avoid becoming a pack of frantic ghosters, the best way to become whole again is probably just to make peacereal, verbal peace- with the people haunted by our radio silence. In an ideal world we’d all take the time and spend the money to spend quality time with loved ones every day and everything would be brilliant. But actually, if I’d have taken the smallest amount of time to check in with my friend on day 7 or so, I might not now be looking like a gutless cretin. Bit by bit I’m trying to lay this particular ghost of mine to rest, though. I’ve apologised, I’ve taken some time, I’ve asked how my friend is, and tried to be punctual. It’s a start, but only that. This isn’t a guilt trip or a barked order to reply every minute, but as often as you can, consider stepping out of your own whirlwind world and showing that you care about someone else’s. Believe what you like about witches, warlocks and werewolves, but ghosts are real. Stay human, folks.

101 Average – Terrible Ways to Deal with Stress Amelia Petrovich The entire world is slowly losing its mind. 1 in 5 New Zealanders say they suffer from workplace-related stress and 1 in 10 are unhappy with their own life-work balance, so for some reason I’ve taken it upon myself to try out all 101 ways to deal with stress suggested to me by a somewhat dubious online pdf. There are better resources for the strung out and lots of them are easily accessible, but hey, where’s the fun in that? Welcome back to: ‘101 Average – Terrible Ways To Deal With Stress’.

16) Repair anything that doesn’t work properly Assuming the list wasn’t actually suggesting that I, myself, somehow obtain the expertise to fix everything under the sun, I actually had a little something planned for #16. We had a flat inspection coming up where we were told to let the fancy real estate lady know what was useless in our flat so the landlord could un-useless it. Our drier has been doing a thing where it dries nothing, and having to share two clotheshorses between four people has been mildly stressful, so I was pretty excited to tick this one off the list. Upon hearing our woes, the fancy lady suggested we clean the unused filter and asked if we were planning to vacuum the stairs. Let it be known that every other inch of the house was spotless and in perfect working order,

stairs are just too awkward to get a vacuum down quickly. They’re still un-vacuumed and our clotheshorses are still cramped. 17) Ask for help with jobs you don’t like If I did this all the time, I would have scores of people trudging to uni for me to complete every group assignment and learning activity that I’d otherwise have to drag myself through. I’d have a slave aligning bus and train timetables for me, counting forwards from when my head hits my pillow to see how late I can afford to set my alarm the next morning. I’d have one person doing all the cloying small talk at the start of a date so I could skip ahead to the part where we talk about existentialism and make out. But none of these are practical; sometimes you just need to put up with shit to get to good places. That being said, I did ask an awesome friend to chuck an assignment in the box for me this week while I caught a bus, so that was a helpful thing.

18) Break tasks into bite sized portions This makes me hungry every time, and weirdly is actually pretty good advice. I have had five deadlines to deal with in two weeks as well as work and non-negotiable weekend piss ups. I ended up drawing a two-week timetable grid and simplifying every task down into small sections (“Monday- transcribe interview, Tuesday- write the story about that interview”) and, for the most part, it worked. I am now sitting here writing this particular thing a day late though, but what’s life without a bit of adrenalin?* *(NB: it’s fine. Life is entirely fine without adrenalin, don’t be a scatterbrained floozy like I am.)

WIN A VODAFONE SMART TURBO 7 PHONE Vodafone Mates is Vodafones new youth offering that’s been launched as an innovative suite of products, rewards, and experiences designed for young New Zealanders, giving them even greater control and flexibility over how they use their smartphones. As part of the launch, Vodafone has gone on the search for New Zealand’s “Best Best Mate”. This means finding a Kiwi prepared to maroon themselves on a barge in the Auckland Harbour for a week in August! We want you to artistically portray the three necessities you would need to take with you in order to survive being marooned on the barge.

They can be real, made up, or a combination of the two – the more creative the better! Draw your pictures in the space below, paint them digitally, or sculpt them with clay…whatever you make, we want to see! Email entries (or pictures of entries) to rrai@aut.ac.nz to be in to win. First prize is a Vodafone Smart Turbo 7 phone, with runners up taking away $50 simcards! Competition closes September 20th at noon. Get amongst kids!

Name: Email: 11

CLAP CLAP RIOT

The first exhibit from their colourful new LP, produced, engineered and mixed by audio wunderkind Tom Healy, Help Me is about the burden of keeping up with the pace of modern life, exploring the feelings of isolation that can come from feeling helpless and the longing to be somewhere else. Built with a palpitating rhythm guitar, shiny keys, a taut rhythm section, possessed vocals, and all that we love from Clap Clap Riot, the single is the band’s first release since their Silver Scroll long-listed collab with Buzz Moller. The track will have its live debut this September when the band hit the road with local pals Racing, bringing their frenetic stage presence to five of the country’s centres, including two hometown shows to cater to both all ages, and R18 audiences. Tickets are on sale now through undertheradar.co.nz. Laurien had a quick chat to Dave

Rowlands, the lead guitarist, vocalist, and songwriter for Clap Clap Riot about the new single and tour. Your new single, Help Me, is written to be ‘about the burden of keeping up with the pace of modern life.’ Did the inspiration simply come from life in general, or was there a specific event that inspired it? No there wasn’t one specific event as such. It’s more a case of seeing people around you take on too much in their lives and end up losing sight of the bigger picture. You have a New Zealand tour coming up in September, what’s the thing you look forward to most about touring? We love playing live – it’s always exciting. Touring for us is also like a food tour in itself. We love stopping by some of the rad places around the country we wouldn’t normally get to. Some great spots down south in particular.

What’s your most memorable encounter with a fan? I signed a boob once. It was not cool like the teenage version of me had imagined. It was gross. I regretted it immediately. What should people be doing when they listen to Help Me? Learning the words in preparation for a sing-along on tour. If you could have dinner with one musician dead or alive, who would it be, and what would you most like to ask them? John Lennon. Why’d you have to go and get shot? Your third album is set to release in 2017…can you summarise that album in 1-3 words so we know what to look forward to? Colourful fuzz pop.

Mitch McFlyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Booze Reviewz A few reviews to help you on your way to boozy delight.

Lagavulin 16 Year Old Whiskey Quite possibly the single greatest Islay single malt to ever exist. A strong peaty flavour interwoven with the classic sweetness you expect from a single malt of this calibre. Well worth the price. Goes down smooth and I give you my expert guarantee that it will stay down, regardless of the amount consumed. Goes great with; the end of a night on the town with your work mates, the end of your savings account, and a brutal facial scar for a chaser. A solid 7/7. Would get so hammered I fall down and cut my face open again.

La La Land Malbec from Victoria

Drumguish Single Highland Malt Scotch

This cheeky Australian wine can be picked up for a modest $15.99 on special. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be fooled by the initial nose of ethanol and vinegar, this beautiful red goes down smooth and tastes almost as good the second time around.

A refreshing drop from Inverness-shire seeming to consist entirely of peanut butter and lighter fluid with just a hint of the fiery depths of hell. Will give you a hell of a headache the next morning and you will gag when you taste that ethanol tinted perfume on your own breath.

Overall, a solid 7.5/10. A bit pricey for what you get, and the picture of Orlando Bloom doing magic tricks on the bottle is somewhat disconcerting.

Overall, a solid 2/5.

But seriously, go drink this. Do it. For real.

WORST ALBUMS EVER MADE Benjamin Matthews

The Shaggs - Philosophy of the World Where do I begin? No one can truly describe the awfulness of the Shaggs. Imagine a group of toddlers playing instruments – drums wildly out of time, guitars strumming manically towards the song’s end, and a bassist who hasn’t a clue how to play a bass. Now imagine that, but with full grown adults. As strange as it sounds, this was a real band. Even weirder, they helped inspire futures bands such as Nirvana. Consisting of sisters, the band was formed at their father’s insistence. Legend states their grandmother predicted the girls would rise to musical stardom, and their father was determined to make the prophecy come true. They did become famous, but not for the right reasons. Only listen to their music if you want a laugh.

Pink Floyd - Ummagumma Still recovering from their original frontman’s descent into madness, Pink Floyd recorded their first double album. As much as I dislike their second double album, The Wall, it does have a few good tracks. However, Ummagumma is barely listenable. The first disc contains live recordings. Although the most diehard fans will be interested, there are far better live albums done at this time, such as Live/Dead. The second disc features experimental avant-garde pieces, each recorded by different band members. This is essentially five solo songs that somehow found themselves on the same album. Ranging from crude animal sounds, to minimalistic drumming and aimless hammering on a piano, nothing on this disc is even redeemable. As a whole, the album is disowned by the band, calling it a failed experiment. Sadly some people didn’t get

the memo. It was still popular enough to be reissued.

Lou Reed and Metallica – Lulu Ever watched a train crash in slow motion? Me neither. But if I ever did have to witness such an event, the soundtrack would highly likely be Lulu, a collaboration between Lou Reed and Metallica. While their album St Anger gets a lot of slack for being too far removed from their thrash roots – the drums sound like a third guitarist and the guitars themselves don’t play anything particularly interesting – nothing is as bad as Lulu. Instead of awesome metal, it’s replaced with generic riffs. Lou Reed rants in a monotone voice, some old guy we don’t care about. James Hetfield screams like some demented puppy, yelling random stuff like “I am the table”. Make matters worse, this goes on for an hour and a half. While the quality of Lou Reed’s back catalogue

is questionable, Metallica should’ve known better. It’s hard to believe this is the same band that did Enter Sandman and Master of Puppets. Surprisingly, this is Lou Reed’s last album before his death. What a sucky way to end a career.

Dee Dee King - Standing in the Spotlight Let’s imagine an alternative reality where Paul McCartney left the Beatles just after the release of Sgt Peppers and decided in his great crazy wisdom to start a reggae band. Although this never happened, something very similar happened with the Ramones. At the height of their career, bassist Dee Dee left the band and decided to do a rap album. Embarrassment ensued. Featuring lyrics “I’m as cool as they come / you other rappers better run”, “I was sittin’ there thinkin’ of a caper / but no new rhymes appeared on the paper”, and “I am a surf nut and the surf is up / I am heading for sunset

beach / it’s not far not hard to reach”. These raps put Kanye to shame…

The Clash – Cut the Crap The clash only recorded five albums. Anyone that says otherwise is lying.

Sonic Youth - Silver Session for Jason Knuth Although Sonic Youth is known for some of the greatest albums ever recorded, including their magnum opus Daydream Nation, the Silver Session doesn’t even come close. Dedicated to a fan who committed suicide, this album is the worst tribute to anyone ever, if you can even call it music. Recorded during the mixing of A Thousand Leaves, the band becomes irritated as another band played heavy funk metal in the studio next door. In revenge for their annoyance, Sonic Youth got all their guitars together while turning all the amps on at full blast.

Guitarist Thurston Moore described this experiment as fighting fire with molten lava. I know you guys were angry but did you have to record the chaotic mess. Thirty minutes of loud distortion and feedback doesn’t count as music.

Lou Reed – Heavy Machine Music Probably breaking the rule here by including two albums by the same artist, but Lou Reed’s Heavy Machine Music is universally considered the worst album ever recorded. It’s difficult to know why Lou Reed released an album of unlistenable garbage – whether it was a joke or fulfilling a contractual obligation is still up for debate. I think I’ll let the Rolling Stone sum the album up. They said it sounded like “the tubular groaning of a galactic refrigerator.” This album cost Lou Reed his career, and an hour of my life that cannot be taken back.

IN SHORT Havelock Gastro Due To Consumption of Water

Kieran Bennett After a wide-spread outbreak of gastroenteritis in the Havelock North region and a series of infected water tanks, a Commission of Inquiry has concluded that the leading cause of the disease was in fact the consumption of water. The Inquiry was launched late last week as part of an effort to quickly shuffle blame around, and began investigating the source of the outbreak. The Inquiry began interviewing those suffering from the disease and started to draw a common thread. 100 percent of those affected were carbon-based life that required water to function and had recently drunk some amount of water. The Inquiry then published its findings saying that it was glad to have concluded the investigation so quickly and decisively. The Inquiry formally concluded that if those affected by the outbreak had simply not drunk water, the ordeal would have been avoided, saying “water has been recognised as a luxury by The Inquiry and if the people of Havelock North had refrained from it, the disease would not have spread”. Local Council have agreed with the findings of The Inquiry, pledging to the people of Havelock North to cut the water off to as many homes as possible by Friday. Council Spokesperson Peter Keller said that the council was glad The Inquiry had come to the right conclusion, and The Council had always pushed for Havelock North to be a water-free zone.

Latest Trump Firmware Patched

Kieran Bennett After a series of controversial statements, ill-planned policy, and the consumption of six puppies, Trump campaign managers are assuring the public that the latest firmware the candidate is running has been patched. Over the last few weeks, the highly advanced android fronting the republican presidential candidate has been observed engaging in more reckless behaviour. Some experts have wondered if the campaign is losing traction with the nuclear powered human substitute even calling for racial profiling during immigration, a statement that the republican party is calling “a grievous programming error”. After a particularly noticeable gaff, in which the carefully crafted replica called for its opponents to be shot, the Republican Party IT department recalled the android. The party is now assuring the public that its statements were caused by an error that set bigotry to 1000, as opposed to the desired value of 100. The party is refusing to comment on rumours that the skin covered construct was in fact made in China.

University Challenge team quizzed by VC AUT’s University Challenge team of five general knowledge gurus were tested by our Vice Chancellor Derek McCormack, at a special event attended by AUT and AUSM staff in the Council Room. The small event was both a celebration and showcase of this year’s team, ahead of their departure to the filming in Wellington over the break. The Vice Chancellor is actually a quiz champion himself, having once won a car in the 1980s TV quiz show, Supersale. He came prepared with a range of hard questions for the team which he asked of them personally, in the University Challenge show format. The students performed extremely well and were fast on the buzzers, answering most questions correctly with the exception of “what was Justin Biebers second album?” (Answer: Under The Mistletoe. You are forgiven for not knowing).

They are: · · · · ·

Neil Porten, Law Matt Funaki, Conservation Nuala Lavin, Midwifery Hayley Wadmore, Communications Michael Bunn, Engineering.

Director of Special Initiatives, Robert Bruce, heads up the University Challenge project. “To find this team has involved a university wide search including emails to nearly 25 000 students, full page ads in Debate Magazine, social media promotion, an AUT Online quiz, and a series of live competitions at Vesbar. This special initiative is a great collaboration between AUT Brand and Marketing, Student Services, AUSM, AUT Library, and CfLat” says Bruce. The final five have now received significant coaching thanks to a superb support team made up of Katharine Hoskyn (head coach), Jason Ashton (AUT Library) and Leonie Rawson (Corporate), on topics as diverse as pop culture, classical music, science and politics. Students have also received performance training from Maggie Eyre.

This year’s team is made up of a diverse group of students, ranging in age, gender and program of study.

What Happens When You Travel Sober Shawn Cleaver

“You were so funny last night!” my travel buddy explains. “You spilt Hector’s drink, and instead of buying him a new one, you ran down the road and bought him a KitKat!”

I arrive at the point where I know I’m awake, but don’t want to open my eyes. If anything, it’s curiosity that persuades me because I don’t remember where I fell asleep. First glimpses reveal I made it back to my bed somehow. Good start.

Now that is something I would do. As my buddy cackles, a feeling of relief slowly creeps in. “If that’s the worst to report, looks like I got away with it…”

I try to check the time on my phone to orientate myself further, but it’s not working. There’s a big scratch down the middle of the screen, turning the few surviving pixels into multi-coloured uselessness. My skull aches way too much to worry about that now. “He’s awake!” My travel buddy notices my frail movements. “Hmmuuurrr,” I let out a zombie-like noise which signifies the official start of my hangover. “How ya feeling?” her chirpy nature makes me want to punch a kitten. Square in the whiskers. “How am I feeling!? Like I just went 12 rounds with David Tua. Who had cinder blocks as gloves. Aaaaand just smoked a cone of meth.” Of course I’m in no mental state to come up with such similes, and just reply with another groan. Before I can even ask, I get the rundown.

“You threw up all over the road as well,” she continues. “Matt and Hector carried you into bed.” Damn. Looks like there were bodily functions on display after all. My ankle begins to burn. This one I remember; I fell over while we were playing ninja. My drunken confidence threw me across the concrete in what was supposed to be a majestic dive. Ninja is an awful game to play during happy hour. Along with my pride, it also explains what destroyed my phone. The culprit: my own fat ass. I spend the next 24 hours whimpering, watching Youtube videos, and attempting to sleep off the worst (and most expensive, if you add up the broken phone, doctor’s bills for the infected ankle, and KitKat prices) hangover I’ve ever had. Funny thing is, I conjured up the idea of an alcohol-free month of travel before all this went down.

I love to challenge myself while on the road. It makes me feel like I’m achieving more than just looking at temples and eating Snickers ice-cream bars. After three months of casual (and not so casual) drinking, I was ready for a break. In true all-or-nothing Cleaver style, I committed to the idea of a whole month without a sip of alcohol. April was the month in question. Predominantly to be spent in Japan, with a week of London on the end. It would save me money, save my voice for the music I wanted to record in London, but mainly I wanted to see if it could be done, and how much my travel experience would change.

I noticed I was still able to socialise without any difference. I had tea. They had beer. It seemed so simple, but to realize this was pivotal in the battle: nothing had to change, as long as I still provided good vibes.

morning until about 4pm, then head back to the hostel to relax until sleep. No parties or clubs or outings. I was in Nana mode, and I liked it. To my surprise it was all going really well, until my last week in Tokyo. Unfortunately I made a whole group of new friends. Amazing, hilarious people who were also staying for about a week. One of them had a birthday on Friday night, and was taking everyone to Tokyo Pub Crawl; one of those multi-hostel booze nights where they pour shots down your throat as you leave each bar. Challenge accepted. It felt silly handing over $30NZD for “free shots + entry” when I was to remain sober. Some clubs were $30 cover charge, which is how I justified it. Other crawlers didn’t see it that way. “See? You’re not even saving money,” he said smugly. “Yeah but for the whole month I’ve saved money,” I responded, “and I’ve gone too far to start now.” He continued with a hint of hostility, “But you’ve paid for it now, might as well enjoy it.” It was clear my sobriety was offending him.

I arrived in Japan on the 29th of March, so I did have a few days to have an Asahi on home soil, along with some sake. Which was pretty damn smooth to be fair. However, April Fool’s Day loomed, and I looked forward to the cheaper, drier road ahead.

“I’ve actually enjoyed it, and I’m not in a hurry to start drinking again.”

So it begins. The first two weeks, it barely bothered me at all. I was busy trying to get my money’s worth from the two-week Japan rail pass, which cost more than the plane ticket from Hanoi. I wasn’t staying in particularly social hostels, which were all booked because of the busy cherry blossom season. So really, it was over a week before I had to refuse a drinking situation.

I had gone from phone-breaking hangovers, to defending my orange juice on a pub crawl. I felt like Jon Snow who just burnt his black cloak, or Theon Greyjoy who just invaded Winterfell (Man there is a lot of betrayal on that show…is it obvious I just started watching?). Iron thrones aside, I was a convert. I was having the same amount of fun, only for a lot cheaper, and without feeling like shit the next day.

London proved to be tempting as well. I felt like I had already achieved something by leaving Japan alcohol free, so found it tough to cut down any plans for the pub. Unluckily for my music, but luckily for my challenge, I picked up a cold, so I had an excuse.

The other thing I quickly noticed was how much earlier I was getting up. 11am was common after a night out, but I started beating my alarm, and was getting up full of energy at around 8:30am. It suited the new nature of my days: sight-see from the

In the end I did it, without a sip. However, I found I was in no hurry to run to the liquor store. I’ve learned good vibes are more important than good beer. Good people are more important than good spirits, and falling over in Vietnam is the most expensive thing you’ll do there.

Mic drop. Had to end the chat, I could feel my good vibes evaporating, and I needed all of them if I was to survive the night.

COOL SHIT DEALZ FOR REALZ We have three Student Cards to give away this week! These cards have a value of $20 and are worth a whole lot more with the discounts they grant! The first three people to email lbarks@aut. ac.nz with their name and campus win!

PASTURE TO PAPER CUPPA? We’ve got two Cuppacoffeecups to give away this week, and they’re gorgeous! To be in to win one of these reusable coffee cups, Facebook message us your name, campus, and favourite hot beverage!

Parnell Gallery is pleased to be hosting Ed and Tiffany’s talk on Saturday, 8th October at 11am. The event is free to attend and all are welcome. The topic covers their collaboration of food and art, with Ed’s vision of seasonal menus and fresh local ingredients and Tiffany’s special creation of a series of paintings using Pasture elements. Please register your interest by emailing art@parnellgallery.co.nz

THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE Available in stores now, Lonely Planet’s The Best Things in Life are Free is packed full of money-saving tips, tricks and recommendations for the best-value sights and experiences around the world. From parks, museums and exercise classes that are free, to insider ideas on food and experiences offered at great value, The Best Things in Life are Free features more than 60 major cities around the world and promises to help any traveller on a budget to make the most of their trip. RRP $32.99.

FLY MY PRETTIES After 12 years of incredible collaborative performances, Kiwi icons Fly My Pretties are hitting the road this summer with a brand new album, playing in some of New Zealand’s most stunning outdoor venues. Marking the first nationwide tour for Fly My Pretties since the 2013s Homeland Tour, this run of shows will see a 14-strong cast take to the stage, with a number of special guests. The String Theory tour runs from January 7 to January 29 with six stops across the country – closest to Auckland is the opening show at Coroglen Tavern and the closing show on Waiheke Island, perfect for students on summer holiday!

Cheap Entertainment or Smart Change?

Reegan Hill | Illustration by Caterina Atkinson Have you ever visited a zoo and thought the animals’ enclosures were too small? Or were you delighted by the antics of the monkeys, wowed by the meerkats, and awestruck by the giant grace of the elephants?

energy, they don’t move much each day, exploring only as far as a few hundred metres on any given day. So it is sort of conceivable why the young male red panda I saw wasn’t in a large enclosure.

Midway through last year, my view of zoos changed. You see, I had a once-in-a-lifetime experience of going behind the scenes. I stepped foot in the enclosure of a red panda at the Auckland Zoo. He was alone in his enclosure, which was a little bigger than my bedroom. My friend and I were both blown away by the experience; we saw this beautiful animal, so peaceful and endearing. The wonder absolutely surpassed expectations. Yet after thinking about the experience, I was torn between being appalled and being amazed by the work zoos do to keep these endangered animals alive. Auckland Zoo supports a non-profit organisation call the Red Panda Network. Every paying customer of the zoo contributes just a little to keep it running, and experiences like the one I paid extra to have help as well. The Red Panda Network develops conservation projects, and helps educate local communities of China, India and Nepal about red pandas and their issues in the wild. They have a breeding programme to help re-establish the wild population of red pandas, and conduct vital research to help the red panda to survive. Their goal is to create a wildlife corridor between the Singalila National Park and Kanchenjunga Conservation Area that crosses the borders of China, India and Nepal. Without zoos like the one in Auckland, charities and conservation funds like the Red Panda Network wouldn’t be able to survive, but yet, the animals in zoos have little space and are in a very unnatural environment. Can you imagine being stuck in a box, a glass cage of sorts with people walking past you every day? Wouldn’t it be a little disconcerting? For a Red Panda, their home range or territory covers about three km squared on average. Because of their need to conserve

But think of the elephant, an animal which is nomadic. An African elephant can walk up to 60 km a day, an Asian elephant can cover up to 30 km a day. The elephants at the Auckland Zoo aren’t able to cover a distance even close to either of those, unless they were to walk in circles - which in captive animals is usually taken as sign of a weakening mind. There have been plenty of people argue zoos are a cruel form of entertainment for human consumption and revenue gathering, which could be feasible if not for the work done by volunteers and non-profit organisations. The true question is, are they ethical? Keeping an animal confined and unable to roam, unable to be wild, unable to live the life it is supposed to, is harmful and could cause irrevocable damage to the wild animal populations. There are animals that, when kept in captivity, cannot be reintroduced into the wild due to human dependency. So the question is posed, for you to make your mind up, are zoos actually a product of entertainment trying to do some good, or a form of good trying to stay afloat by using animals as entertainment? Either way, I’ve made my mind up about zoos. I hate that I love them.

Chantelle Cullen

Terribly patterned clothing, homemade outdoor huts, and a small range of sports to get me to make friends; this was my childhood. I grew up on a small farm, I had a cat, a horse I shared with my sister, and many sports were at my disposal. Some of my fondest memories include not quite nailing the header in soccer and getting a face full of mud, trying to catch a netball with frostbitten fingers, and running around a field three times for a cross country race. I grew up not worrying about my size, not worrying too much about what I wore, and my biggest concern was how long I could do a handstand for. I kept trying new things and enjoying what life had to offer me because I didn’t have society telling me I couldn’t. As I grew up, I had little things start to niggle at me. Things like the teasing that took place because I wanted to start shaving my legs early, or being last to be picked on the team because I was a girl and wasn’t as fast as the boys. From there, it only went downhill. I got a job as a waitress and had some guys tell me how hot it was that I wore an apron. The days I came into class with a massive hoodie and jeans instead of dresses and cardigans, I had comments saying I had ‘obviously given up on looking nice for the day’. I get pushed out of conversations with professional men because I ‘wouldn’t understand (their) humour’.

I didn’t have gender stereotypes shoved upon me. I tried all the sports and was encouraged to do things I love. The sexism that we face today, between the lower pay checks and having the stereotypes that women are the weaker gender, is getting ridiculous. If we start off by giving men and women an equal footing in life, then we could bring more women into power. I told that to somebody once before, and he said: ‘That’s just so women can overthrow men with authority and take over’. But no, it’s just so women can have their equal share in higher matters.

As I grew up, I had little things start to niggle at me. Things like the teasing that took place because I wanted to start shaving my legs early, or being last to be picked on the team because I was a girl and wasn’t as fast as the boys. I’m sick of getting into arguments with people about women’s rights. I don’t want to argue over the fact that I’m not allowed to wear something I’m comfortable with just because it shows a bra strap. I don’t want to be told that I’m only a waitress because I have boobs.

As a woman with big dreams and an ability to introduce myself to strangers at a party, I find these moments really horrible. I don’t want to be pushed aside and told that, because I am a feminist, I hate all men. I don’t hate all men, I just have an automatic dislike to a man that has the audacity to tell me ‘only Emma Watson can get away with being a feminist because she’s hot’.

When I was younger, I fell over at the start of a running race. That didn’t stop me, I got up and kept going. If something makes you fall, it’s only logical to get up and keep going, even if that thing does slow you down. The men I have come across in some of my jobs have knocked me aside, but I have to get back up to fight for respect. I would love to live in a world where men and women treat each other equally. I would love if we were all supportive of each other.

Growing up without sexism would make a large proportion of women very different to who they are now. Some of the comments and actions that women get, largely change how they dress, act and present themselves. As a child, I never got told that my dress is too short, nor was I worried about walking home alone at night. I got brought up with the same opportunities as my brother.

We all want equality, we all want to be running on the same track with the same conditions. Unfortunately some people have flatter and more solid ground. We can teach each other skills to help bring us all to the same level. The possibilities are sky high - we can learn from everybody’s personal skill sets and work our way up as one.

Gluten, Dairy, Soy free Chocolate Cake Reegan Hill • • • • •

125g margarine 250g dark chocolate 230g caster sugar 250g ground almond meal 5 eggs, separated

Add your almond meal and the chocolate mix to the egg; gently mix together by hand with a wooden spoon.

Melt the margarine and chocolate in a water bath, then leave to cool.

Whisk the egg whites until soft peaks form, and add both mixtures together gently by hand. Line or grease your cake tin, even if it is silicone, this cake tends to stick so be gentle when removing from the tin.

While the mix cools, in a separate bowl, whisk the yolks and sugar until thick a creamy.

Bake at 180 degrees for 35 to 40 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean.

CALLING ALL AUT STUDENTS – WE NEED YOUR VOICE!

How could we improve STUDENT LIFE? How can AUT ORGANISE and operate to better meet your needs? “For once I felt I was in a safe environment where my voice was heard and I believe real change will occur.” Third Year Engineering Student

“It was a great opportunity to express my views. Desna and her team really want to understand students.” Second Year Colab Student

“I want to share my experiences and help improve AUT ...particularly for my younger brother.”

Dear AuSM, Hi, I am Monica, a postgraduate student in AUT. In doing one of the subjects, I felt really unsatisfied about the teaching, but thanks to Helen Munro from AUSM, our class was able to appeal. Many people’s grades increased by five marks. We leave our country to come here, and we felt really bad, but Helen helped us like family when we were in this situation.

Third Year Creative Technologies Student

You’re invited to afternoon tea with Professor Desna Jury, Pro Vice-Chancellor of Student Success. AUT is committed to providing a rewarding learning experience for you. So how can we do better? Come along for a casual chat and enjoy some nibbles and drinks in a safe environment. Bring a friend – the more the merrier!

As we are from postgraduate level so learning is not an issue but there were some teaching problems we had with this particular subject. Thanks to Helen it was all solved.

Select from three dates at each AUT Campus: -

We feel that we are not alone thanks to the great student advocate, Helen Munro.

Tues 13 Sep 3.00pm – 4.30pm. City Campus Tues 11 Oct 3.00pm – 4.30pm. South Campus Tues 18 Oct 3.00pm – 4.30pm. North Campus

WA6 MB317 AF316

Thanks and Regards, Monica

If you need advice and don’t know where to start, CONTACT US on advocacy@aut.ac.nz with your details and concerns.

Confirm your attendance and preferred date to lisa.warner@aut.ac.nz

Reviews

VENU S IN FUR Directed by Colin McColl | Starring: Craig Hall, Morgana O’Reilly On at the Herald Theatre until September 24 Reviewed by Ethan Sills

The roles women play in fiction and the men who write them are at the forefront of this witty, fast moving play by American playwright David Ives, brought to New Zealand for the first time by the Auckland Theatre Company. Inspired by the 1890 novel, this is a truly engrossing piece that sparkles with energy and never lets up for more than a second in this modern, electric battle of the sexes. The play revolves around writer Thomas Novacheck as he struggles to cast the female lead for his adaptation of the novel. In storms Vanda, a seemingly ditzy actress who insists on an audition, having come with her own props and costumes. Sceptical at first, Thomas finds himself engrossed by the actress as they read through the play, but quickly wonders if he is being played by the loud but distant Vanda. A play like this lives and dies on the shoulders of its stars, and thankfully, Morgana O’Reilly and Craig Hall are utterly flawless as Vanda and Thomas. Right from their opening lines they

embody the characters, from the pitch-perfect New York accents to the clashing temperaments that shift and deepen as their intellectual battle unfolds. O’Reilly, in particular, gives it her all, selling all sides of Vanda in a way that keeps you guessing right until the final minutes. However, this is a play about discussing ideas in text and the role between director and star, the writer and their creation. Those looking for a showy piece of staging will be disappointed, as the single room setting leaves little with the production staff to play with. Yet there is so much to focus on, with the rapid-fire dissention from simple audition into dangerous mind games, that you only have eyes for the stars anyway. While the ending rather surprises itself on you, the combination of the original play, the magnetic leads and the saucy but not exploitative direction makes this version of Venus in Fur one not to miss.

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? e u e v i o lliv y e uu o o r y e rree y h wwhhee e v Lo LLoove T HE SH A L LOWS Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra Starring Blake Lively and a seagull Reviewed by Ethan Sills

On paper, a movie about Blake Lively fighting a shark sounds awful, the sort of straight-to-DVD, B-grade rubbish that would be forgotten a week after it was released. However, in execution, a terrible idea managed to become an enjoyable, occasionally entertaining if not particularly good low-end blockbuster, a sun-bleached gem elevated by the fairly choppy waters this blockbuster season has produced. Lively stars as Nancy, a medical student who has exchanged her problems back home for a trip to a mystical, unnamed beach in Mexico. While surfing alone, Nancy suddenly finds herself the target of a particularly focused shark that becomes dead set on making her his meal. Stranded suddenly on a rock, Nancy must use her medical knowledge to stay alive and find help. For a silly shark movie, there is a lot to love here. Beautiful cinematography helps elevate it above what it could be, and the shark is pretty terrifying when it is finally revealed. The plot is rather nonsensical at times (why is the shark so set on eating her when it has a whole whale nearby?), but it moves quickly enough with required suspense to keep it enjoyable. Lively has little to do but scream and try not to die, but she gives it her all and does well with what she was given.

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From 16 September voting documents arrive in the post. Keep an eye out. Find out more at

It may not be the best movie of the year, but it certainly is one of the more enjoyable, if utterly ridiculous in moments. Short, to the point, and ticking all the required boxes, The Shallows works for what it is and is perfect, silly, cinema-going fun.

Puzzles

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Circle all the words in the wordfind, tear this page out & pop it into the box on the side of the red Debate stands, and you could win a motherflippinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; sweet prize!

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Fun, relaxation and escape from the ordinary. Time for a winter get-away at the AuSM Lodge! Winter fun-lovers and savvy skiers... book your affordable get-away at AuSM Lodge, and it could be the best bargain you’ve had in a long time. AuSM Lodge is well equipped and offers cheap and comfortable accommodation for up to 12 people– from as little as $300 per night, (that’s only $25 per person) during the peak winter season. Situated right in the heart of Tongariro National Park Village and 35 minutes drive from Mt Ruapehu, the Lodge is the perfect choice for planning a budget winter blast. There are a few weekends still available during the ski season, so book today. For further information about the Lodge, its availability, and to book online:

ausm.org.nz/About/AuSM+Lodge.html