Debate | Issue 6 | 2017

DEBATE ISSUE 06| MAY 2017

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CONTENTS Pg 4 Editor’s Letter

Pg 24 Addressing the Elephant in the Room

Pg 5 Prez Sez

Pg 25 The Pain of Men-struation

Pg 6 Undercover at the Church of Scientology

Pg 28 No Time To Waste

Pg 10 Polyamory: The Art of Loving More

Pg 30 Reviews

Pg 14 Cool Shit

Pg 32 Recipe

Pg 16 The Story of Tukuraki Village

Pg 34 Puzzles

Pg 20 Heightened Awareness: Jordon Milroy

C O V E R I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y H O P E M C C O N N E L L

EDITOR Julie Cleaver debate@aut.ac.nz SUB - EDITOR Grace Hood-Edwards

CONTRIBUTORS Abigail Johnson, Bridie ChetwinKelly, Dayna Patel, Ethan Sills, Kendall Hutt, Hope McConnell, Rhianna Osborne, Rosie Gordon, Sarah Pollok, Shawn Cleaver

DESIGNER Ramina Rai rrai@aut.ac.nz

ADVERTISING Harriet Smythe hsmythe@aut.ac.nz

PRINTER Nicholson Printer Solutions DISCLAIMER

Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, Nicholson Printer solutions or its subsidiaries.

Debate is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA)

This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUCKLAND STUDENT MOVEMENT AT AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY INCORPORATED (“AuSM”). Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly.

Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AuSM.

PUBLISHED BY

w w w. a u s m . o r g . n z facebook.com/ausmdebate

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Editor’s Letter During the break, AUT’s Pacific Media Centre gave me and one other journalist the incredible opportunity of flying to Fiji to create a documentary about climate change. And holy crap, what an experience it was.

Aside from the heat, my first impression of Fiji was that it’s not too different from New Zealand. In Suva, where we mostly stayed, they drive on the same side of smooth, paved roads, they have McDonald’s and Nandos and coffee shops, and the All Blacks were plastered (not literally, this time) on billboards all over town. But as usual, my first impression was largely incorrect.

As I met more Fijian people and explored other parts of the country, I soon learned that there are some pretty big issues there that we don’t have in New Zealand. Firstly, Fiji is a developing country, and the average adult income is FJD$17,100 a year. And it’s not cheap to live there either: food costs about the same as it does here. The only thing that was noticeably lower in price seemed to be transport, with local buses costing around 70c a ride (the booming reggae music was no additional cost) and taxis about 20c a minute.

In saying that, a few university students my colleague and I met told us that even though the average income may be low, most villagers are rich in resources and therefore don’t need much money to survive. This was definitely the case for Tukuraki, a village we visited in the northern part of the main island. Tukuraki had a huge amount of fruit and vegetable crops, however they weren’t without other major problems. One villager we met, Vilimaina Botitu, told us that the weather had altered drastically in the past few years. She attributed these differences to climate change.

The most interesting thing for me was that I didn’t meet one climate change denier. Even the most right-wing taxi driver I’ve ever met believed in it. I guess when you can see the effects every day, there’s nothing really to deny.

In this issue of Debate, there is more about this Tukuraki on page 16. There are also incredible investigative pieces, including an insight into the polyamory community in Auckland, an enquiry into whether zoos should exist, an undercover look inside the Church of Scientology, and so much more. It’s a hefty mag, but a brilliant one, and we hope you enjoy sinking your teeth into these meaty topics.

Have a great week!

Julie

Te Ara Poutama Faculty Representative

North Campus Representative

Kia Ora koutou, nau mai haere mai ki te AuSM Debate Magazine!

Hi there, My name is Pearl (short for Pearlina). I am your North Campus Rep for 2017 and I’m nervous, yet so very excited. You may have seen me at orientation in one of the blue shirts. If so, hi again!

Rose Tei

Last year I was the Mature Student Rep, this year I am a Faculty Rep for Te Ara Poutama, and I am looking forward to the new experiences, the awesome new faces I will get to meet, those curve ball challenges I will come across, and just being able to support students in the best way that I can, by supporting those who are responsible for providing a more vibrant and exciting experience for you!

My experience at AUT has been a rollercoaster. It started off exciting, I met a lot of chill peeps along the way, got more involved with the university and exploded with many more doors opening, enabling me to be more conscious of, and active in student life on a social, political and personal level. I encourage you to do the same, it’s mean fun!

Last semester I took a Māori language paper as an elective and fell in love with it, so much so, I have come back to AUT to develop this language. To learn another language at my age is psychologically proven to be difficult, however I´ve found when it comes from lecturers who are passionate and motivated by what they love, as a student I can feel their passion in their teachings. Furthermore, it makes the learning experience more fun and easier to pick up.

I could talk forever, but I better not, so instead I will leave you with this: if you see any of us SRC members walking around campus, on the shuttles, in classes, at the gym, in the pool or in any of the student lounges, don´t be afraid to come up and say hi. And if you have an issue you want to discuss, get it off your chest! We can´t help you if you don´t tell us!

Pearl Taliauli

Facts: I’m Tongan, not from Auckland, not a perfect student, but, have been told multiple times I have an approachable face (got to find the positives!).

I have four goals for myself that I think you should try to stick to as well! They are: 1. Go to class (do yourself a favour).

2. Ask questions in class (you have a right to know).

3. Get involved (clubs/ events/ volunteering with AuSM – yes, they’re awesome. Also, use ALL the services offered: most are free! They make university a lot more bearable).

4. Find your passion (turn that passion into motivation. It will get you through those 8am lectures and those very, very late nights).

From my short yet wonderful experience at AUT I may have gone through the challenges you may come across, or if not, I will do my very best to accommodate. So please feel free to email me at northcampusrep@aut.co.nz with anything you want to know or say.

I am more than happy to help, honestly. North Campus also has a FB page. Search for the “AUT Akoranga/Northshore Campus” closed group for all the good stuff.

If you see me around, please don’t be shy. Introduce yourself; that would make my day. Good luck, God bless and I wish you all the best!

Nga mihi nui ki a koutou.

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Undercover at the Church of

SCIENTOLOGY

By Grace Hood-Edwards | Illustration by Ramina Rai

It’s difficult to decide what to wear when infiltrating a secretive sect. This was something I discovered the morning I went to check out the Church of Scientology in Auckland Central.

The Church’s headquarters are closer to home than most might think. Now based in Grafton, Scientology bought the building – which used to house the Whitecliffe Art College – for 10 million dollars in 2007. It is a beautiful heritage site, which they are said to have restored for an additional six million dollars.

Immediately upon entering the foyer, I only had a few seconds to take in the bright polished wood and historic architecture before a lady at the front desk, dressed in a white shirt and black skirt, greeted me with a wide smile. She whipped out what was essentially a sign-up form, asking for my personal details. When I asked if I had to provide everything, I was told I did. They certainly perform their gatekeeping well.

I filled the sheet out, and everything was false – including my age. Considering the fact that I often go through the supermarket without being carded, probably due to my height and general demeanour (or my boobs, as my mother has told me), I felt safe in hedging that I was a few years older. I wasn’t the only one reluctant to provide my information, as a quick glance at an open visitors’ book showed a John Doe had visited just the day before. Below Mr. Doe were a list of people who had arrived the day before, most

with some form of acronym next to their sign-in time as to denote their purpose in being there. Two who had signed in yesterday had “Purif.” as their purpose, which I can only understand to be shorthand for Purification.

I was led to the “Testing and Registration Room” and a test was placed in front of me. It was called the Oxford Capacity Analysis, was 200 questions long, and was basically a compilation of every single terrible personality quiz you’ve taken online in your life. I’m pretty sure they tacked the word ‘Oxford’ on there to give it some form of legitimacy, e.g. Oxford English Dictionary.

Throughout the experience I clung to my phone like a safety line, partially for comfort and partially because whenever a back was turned I would whip it out and get photos of as much as possible.

I was able to get a photo of every page of that test, so hit me up if you’re looking for a personality test that has been referred to by psychologists as “highly manipulative” and “manifestly unethical”.

Some of the questions were extremely blatant, with major red-flags, which I couldn’t help but mentally snort at when they cropped up. A selection of these would be: “Do you resent the efforts of others to tell you what to do?”

“Would you prefer to be in a position where you did not have the responsibilities of making decisions?”

“Could you agree to strict-discipline?”

Yikes.

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Upon finally finishing the test, I was informed that I had to take an IQ test. I asked to be shown the bathroom. A part of me just wanted to take a few unobserved breaths, but I really just wanted to see if I could get closer access to more of the facility. A board by the bathroom detailed every leading member of the Church of Scientology and their relationship/role in the society. Under the photos was the ever-so-catchy slogan “Valuable fine people who produce valuable fine products who then make up a valuable fine public”. Across from this were framed posters (everything was framed) of Scientology groups around the world. They looked more like photos of fascist rallies and propaganda headquarters. Together, the four posters read out “Unite. Advance. Support. Protect.”

Every room I’d been in so far had been crammed with content created by Scientology’s founder/creator/messiah L. Ron Hubbard (or Elron, as I lovingly refer to him in my mind).

these lecture descriptions in this promotional booklet is vague and confusing at best. The description for “BE SURPRISED AT NOTHING” begins with the exact phrase: “Ridges…slices of energy…mirror mazes – blown away with processes to restore one’s basic beingness as Cause.” Elron’s quotes offer no help, as they are about as lucid and well-thought out as a Trump tweet.

I got to the third lecture series on offer. At this level you can supposedly “CREATE AT WILL”. This series contained the “techniques to restore the ability of theta to break the bonds of the physical universe” allowing the thetan (an assumed man, due to the consistent use of masculine pronouns) to “see, hear, speak, get out electricity, throw out postulates, control bodies other than his own, and do other things which are well within his abilities.”

Luckily I was called over for the review of my tests before I read that page fully, otherwise I might have burst out laughing then and there.

My opinion had never been lower of Tom Cruise.

Every room I’d been in so far had been crammed with content created by Scientology’s founder/creator/messiah L. Ron Hubbard (or Elron, as I lovingly refer to him in my mind). As I was left to wait after my IQ test, I ended up reading a purchase guide for Elron’s lectures.

It seems that even those teaching Scientology have to show the colour of their wallets. Considering that Scientology was invented by the man who said, “You don’t get rich writing science fiction. If you want to get rich, you start a religion,” I’m not exactly surprised.

I was told my IQ score was above average. She then proceeded to explain the line graph underneath, whilst systematically tearing apart every aspect of my personality. This was not her estimation of me, I was reminded, but simply what the test said. She made a big deal of a certain symbol on my depressed/happy point which indicated that I fluctuated between being happy and sad. I thought that experiencing both happiness and sadness seemed like a normal way to live, but bit my tongue. Apparently, scientology can improve that. This is what I was told after we moved through every alphabetised section of my personality. Unstable? Scientology can improve that. Nervous? Scientology can improve that. I was told eleven times in under three minutes that Scientology could improve any aspect of my personality. I learnt in my research later that this had all been part of a rote script.

The first lecture series the guide describes is called “BE SURPRISED AT NOTHING”. I clearly am already a step ahead. The format for

When I asked how Scientology would help me fix all of these problems, she introduced Dianetics. I was lead into the museum,

where I was placed uncomfortably close to a large TV screen and played an informational film. The short and long of Dianetics is that your mind stores every painful experience you’ve ever suffered, physically and emotionally, as ‘engrams’. Your irrational behaviour and personal issues are all due to ‘aberrations’ caused by these ‘engrams’.

Dianetics will erase these ‘engrams’ to unlock a state of perfect happiness. With the look of a 90’s infomercial, it was at this point that I really began to lose it. Luckily, her attention was not on me as I giggled at one point, before turning it into an unsubtle cough. I nearly wet myself at the woman who ‘accidentally’ threw boiling water over herself in true infomercial fashion.

out more. She told me that after I had gone through the basics, there would be more advanced sessions which, of course, would cost a lot more money.

I don’t understand exactly how the Church of Scientology can call itself a religion, as I’m not aware of any religion that requires you to pay money to attend services or seek counsel. Neither does any other religion require personality nor IQ tests to determine your worthiness. At best, it is a basic counselling service that takes your money, just like any psychologist or psychiatrist would. The legitimacy of said counselling is questionable.

To me, Scientology uses its religious status as a way to exist tax-exempt from all the money it swindles its followers out of. It’s rather sad actually, to think of all the money that people commit to this establishment, which could be used to boost public mental and physical healthcare systems.

To me, Scientology uses its religious status as a way to exist tax-exempt from all the money it swindles its followers out of.

The second part of the movie was essentially the part of the infomercial where they bring in ‘real’ people to convince you to buy the product. These bright-eyed and not at all creepily smiling citizens were all too enthusiastic for me to take them seriously.

Being unsure of whether the participants were hired or were actually volunteers, I oscillated between pity and disbelief. One young man tries to convince the watcher on Dianetics by saying that after reading Elron’s book on Dianetics for twenty minutes, he discovered the cause of his depression, and was cured forever. Because that’s simply how depression works.

I was able to halt the lady before she showed me the next section of the video, and inquired about the red sci-fi looking machines I had seen on display. Supposedly, using this machine they could pinpoint memories that were causing stress – helping the auditors to find and eliminate them. I imagine she couldn’t get a very accurate reading off of me, because I was extremely stressed the whole time I was there.

I was then handed off to this new lady. I talked to her, trying to figure

It’s fortunate that this experience happened now, instead of a few years ago. I was not in a good place and was far more insecure than I am now. I can confidently laugh at every criticism that was thrown at me in an attempt to get me to pay Scientology money.

Previously I might have agonised for months about my degenerating IQ, supposed lack of empathy and self-centred nature. When I was told that, it brought to mind one of the IQ test questions, where the answer was, ironically, the word hypocritical. I was accused of being self-centred by an organisation that is solely revolved around the self and the improvement of the self. I found it all rather entertaining, but imagined what it would do to other vulnerable and impressionable souls. I’m not easily led, and am not the target market for any persuasive material; from advertisements to Scientology. But many are, and they are the people whose money and trust is exploited.

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P O LYA M O RY The Art of Loving More Rhianna Osborne spoke with members of Auckland’s polyamorous community to discuss open relationships, jealousy, and the fulfilment that comes from loving multiple people. Illustration by Dayna Patel.

Read any articles on polyamory and they will simply define it by breaking down the word itself: poly meaning ‘many’ and amory meaning ‘love’ – but there is so much more to it than that simple definition.

Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships where individuals may have more than one partner, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It has been described as consensual, ethical, and responsible nonmonogamy. It is important to note that polyamory is not an orientation, but a practice involving multiple partners.

For Smith, polyamory involves much more than going out for dinner with someone and getting to know them over a few drinks – he often sleeps with other women as well. “To me cheating is being dishonest, that’s what I define as cheating, when someone betrays you.”

Polyamory is sometimes used as an umbrella term for various forms of multiple relationships that are not emotionally or sexually exclusive. People who identify as polyamorous typically reject the view that exclusivity is necessary for deep, committed or successful partnerships.

James said communication is vital for making numerous relationships work, as is time management. “My girlfriend is happy to talk about it with me and acknowledges that I do spend time with other women, but she really just wants our time spent together to be about me and her.”

After coming out of an intense monogamous relationship, Allistair Smith*, 27, decided he would only be interested in open relationships from then on. He first became introduced to the idea of dating multiple people when scrolling through Facebook. “Two of my friends are in a polyamorous relationship that I know from high school and one of them was just a friend who is really interested in different kinds of relationships. So if it wasn’t for the internet or social media, I probably wouldn’t have found out about it.”

Despite common perception, polyamory is not limited to the dating scene, it can also branch out to include married couples and families. Katie and Luke Jones have practiced polyamory for over three years now. They are married and have three kids between them. They said it all started with both of them becoming interested in swinging. “We weren’t really thinking too much about polyamory in those early stages, but the whole swinging thing lasted about a month before we ended up in a polyamorous situation. We went to a party

Another polyamorous person, James, has been with his current girlfriend for just under a year. His girlfriend is monogamous.

“I made it clear from the fourth date that I am definitely going to be polyamorous. It’s non-negotiable for me, I’m going to want to be with other people.”

and met another couple and it happened withous us really realising it.”

Katie Jones, 28, was first introduced to the concept of polyamory while studing sociology at university. “There’s a difference between understanding polyamory in an academic sense and understanding polyamory in practice. Because what we found was that we were fumbling our way through it without knowing what we were doing or where we were going.”

Mr and Mrs Jones were in a quad relationship with the other couple for six months until they moved house and found that it made sense financially to try out a living arrangement with them. “Overall, it worked out well, but the fundamental problem with that situation and why it didn’t continue was the fact that the connection that Luke and the other women had was quite strong, but the connection that I had with the other man was not very strong at all.”

The Jones’ found that they really enjoyed the community feel of the arrangement and said it really worked well with having kids in the house. “It’s one thing to have two adults and kids in a house, but it’s a totally different scenario when you have another two adults. It changed the whole dynamic of the household and it had a nice vibe to it. It was like having friends that live with you and it works.”

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Since their initial encounter with polyamory, they have become much more open and comfortable with the concept, and are now each dating multiple people.

“The way our relationship works now is that Luke has met his girlfriend who is longdistance, and I’m dating two men at the moment. For me, I constantly like to meet new people so I’m looking more regularly, and I like the freedom of being able to do that,” she said.

Both Katie and Luke believe jealousy is something that is learned and drilled into us from a young age. “Jealousy all comes from the fact that we are bred to look for this one perfect person, and this one perfect person is supposed to satisfy all of our needs, all of our desires, all of our fantasies, and they are supposed to be this one magical person who will do everything and be everything for you. For some people that may be the case, but more often than not, one person won’t satisfy all your needs. Jealousy is just basically a fear of loss,” they said.

The couple said the hardest part about polyamory is that it feels like a dirty little secret when it shouldn’t be. “When you’re at work on a Monday and people ask how your weekend was, you want to say that I went to this place with my boyfriend, but you can’t and that’s really hard sometimes because what people assume when they look at polyamory is that the relationships you have outside of a marriage are less important or very sex-focused, which is not the case.

“I think polyamory is in the place in New Zealand where being gay was 15 or 20 years ago: it was very much a dirty little secret back then, but now society is more accepting,” said Katie.

The couple initially struggled because they had no connection at all with the polyamory community in Auckland and had no idea it even existed. But they eventually came across the Polyamory NZ group on Facebook, which provided support and information

from like-minded individuals. The group has over 300 members and provides a safe haven for all kinds of people to join and to discuss and engage in polyamorous activities.

Speaking with a member of the group, Harrison Fraser, 26, he said he feels passionate about the polyamory community.

“I first practiced [polyamory] when I met my girlfriend Sophie, which was at the end of 2013, and that’s because that year I was just doing my own thing. I was being open and honest with people and I was newly single, having come out of a monogamous relationship.”

“We are bred to look for this one perfect person, and this one perfect person is supposed to satisfy all of our needs. For some people, that may be the case, but more often than not, one person won’t satisfy all your needs.”

At present, Fraser has two partners, but also other casual partners that he sees every now and then. Labels can become quite complicated with polyamory because a lot of people like to use labels to make things easier to understand. The main labels that are used are ‘primary’, which refers to the person that you have the closest bond with or that you have been involved with for the longest, and ‘secondary’ who is the person you have the next closest bond with. “Sophie I would identify as my primary and that’s because we have been together for so long and our connection stems so far from the past, and we have been through a lot, but the definition of ‘primary’ is different for

*Some names have been changed to protect the identity of individuals.

everyone,” said Fraser.

Michael Lovell, 28, is fairly new to polyamory, but has found that he prefers the lifestyle to what he had before. “It’s been about a year, mainly because I came here from the UK and I got into a relationship with a girl, and she kind of wanted to open up the relationship but only to things that worked for her. So I was toying around with that and that’s how I met my current girlfriend.”

At the moment Lovell has three partners and often goes on group dates with his primary partner and his two other girlfriends. “I am actually in a relationship with one of Harrison Fraser’s partners who I know you’ve interviewed, so Harrison’s primary is dating another girl who is my primary, but I also have a casual realtionship with Sophie, his primary.”

Monogamy has been a concept that Lovell has struggled to relate with since a young age: “Polyamory for me is not so much about having multiple partners, it’s just about acknowledging the fluidity of life at a young age, and when I get to the age of 40 maybe I won’t be into polyamory anymore and I’ll want to lock things in a little bit more.”

Although it is small and largely unheard of at present, the polyamory community is growing and they are determined to have a voice. It took New Zealand many years to acknowledge gay marriage as a legal practice, and hopefully it will not take nearly as long for polyamory to become normalised and integrated into society. These people have chosen to fall in love with multiple people instead of just one, but because society is scared to break from traditional practices such as monogamy, polyamory is viewed of as if it is a crime. Essayist and author Anais Nin said, “I reserve the right to love many different people at once, and to change my prince often,” and that is all polyamorists wish to do: have the freedom to live and love without facing judgement or criticism.

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Free Chocolate!

Bohemein Fresh Chocolates is giving away 10 vouchers to its cute little artisan store. The coupons get you three different goodies (that must be redeemed at different times). These are a single scoop of gelato, a regular hot chocolate and two filled chocolates. This super cute, cocoa-filled joint is located in Auckland’s CBD, and trust us, its creations are divine. To win, Facebook message us your name, campus, and why you deserve to win this delectable prize.

Debate Magazine

Bloody soft toys

Bee Yourself

To celebrate the blood drive, which is happening on Wednesday and Thursday May 24 and 25 in the City Campus, NZ Blood is giving away six little soft toys shaped like blood drops. These dudes are pretty cute and are raising awareness for a good cause. To win, Facebook message us your name, campus and why you want one of these sweet, cuddly toys.

Manuka Doctor has hooked Debate readers up yet again, this time with its new Hydrating Facial Cleanser. This is an awesome product made from real purified bee venom, and is valued at $39.95. There’s also a cute little facial towel that goes along with it. To win, Facebook message us your name, campus and your best, cheesy bee-related pun.

Pucker up

Highlight the way

Winter can be abusive to your lips. The cold often leaves them cracked, rank and unkissable. To alleviate this problem, Debate is giving away a Welda Tinted Lip Balm pack. Inside are three colours: nude, rose and berry red, as well as a sweet little flower headband thing. To win, Facebook message us your name, campus (you know the drill) and your best make-out tip.

Indomie (the noodle people) have hooked Debate up with 10 awesome, multi-coloured highlighter pens. These little lifesavers are perfect for exams and for all those crazy people who love to highlight the crap out of every piece of paper they touch. To win one, Facebook message us your name, campus and the highlight of your week.

Re-use me, baby Sick of feeling guilty every time you use plastic bags? If yes, this pack will solve your woes. It comes with a beautiful canvas shopping bag, two re-usable bread carriers (one for loaves, the other for baguettes), an organic fruit and veg sack, as well as re-usable snack packs: valued at $55. To get your grubby hands on this incredible gift, Facebook message Debate your name, campus and top earth-saving tip.

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Destruction and Construction The Story of Tukuraki Village

The Pacific Media Centre flew Julie Cleaver and Kendall Hutt to Fiji to bear witness to the impacts of climate change. What they discovered was disturbing and emotional.

Vilimaina Botitu was fast asleep when the earth from a nearby hill tumbled down, burying her uncle’s house in mud, trees, and rock.

Her small village of just ten houses, located in the mountainous highlands of Ba, Fiji, had been pummelled by rain for a week prior to the landslide in January 2012. The people of Tukuraki are no strangers to heavy downpours. Even as we sit cross-legged on a flax-weaved mat in Botitu’s new temporary home, located just 10km away from the old village, the rain moves in quickly and heavily, seemingly out of nowhere. But on the day of the landslide, Botitu knew something was wrong.

“I begged Uncle Anare to bring his family to stay with me, because where I live it is safe,” she tells us through tears, “but he didn’t listen. He just said, ‘If God thinks it is my time to go, then I am okay with that.’”

Botitu tells us the ridge behind her uncle’s house was unstable, as it had unknowingly been destabilised by the removal of pine trees from a nearby timber farm above. She says the hill near her place was made of rock and therefore less likely to slip. Despite this, Uncle Anare was reluctant to move his family to sleep at her house, and that night he, his wife, and two daughters, aged just only six months old and a year-and-a-half, were buried alive in their sleep.

Access to the village via the road was wiped out in the fatal landslide, as was the community’s path to fresh water. The villagers of Tukuraki were subsequently cut-off from the outside world for three days and left to recover the bodies of Anare Taligo and his family themselves.

“It was very hard because there was no machine to help us…so they were struggling to take out the bodies.”

In a grief-filled daze, and to keep her two daughters safe, Botitu walked her girls to a nearby cave to take shelter, half-an-hour away from the village. She then rushed back to the village to help the elders who were left behind. Once the bodies of the Taligo family had been recovered, it was Botitu who volunteered to wash them and prepare them for burial.

“The first body out of the mud was their mother. I washed the mother, but we couldn’t see her face. It was black and the tongue was popping out. The two daughters – the eldest one, she was smashed on the head, and the small one, it’s just like she’s sleeping.

“Then at 1.30pm, they took out the father’s body. The father, there were not even any clothes on the body. His hands were covering his ears, I thought maybe for the thunder storm, but his body was good.

So I washed them properly, then lay them down in the hall.”

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The landslide not only destroyed 50 percent of the village, but also left the community traumatised. Botitu tells us, as we struggle to hold in our own tears, that after the burial ceremony the small village of ten houses was in shock. It was a sleepless and fearful night for the people of Tukuraki.

“It took me three months for the smell of their bodies to go away, ‘cause during that time I bathed them, I didn’t have any gloves, I didn’t use any protection.”

Today, the pain of losing her Uncle, Aunty-inlaw and nieces is still fresh.

“When I go to Tukuraki [the old village] I can’t stay there for very long. Every time I go there, as soon as I reach the village, it’s too hard. It brings back too many memories.”

Due to such damage and loss, the Fijian government decided to relocate the Tukuraki community to a safer location soon after the landslide. This was a unique move, as the past three village relocations in Fiji have all occurred due to rising sea levels caused by climate change, making Tukuraki the first inland relocation.

In early 2014, the site for the new Tukuraki village was gifted to the community by a neighbouring clan. But for the villagers, who were living in makeshift shelters made out of what the landslide left behind, tragedy would strike again only 11 months later, when Cyclone Evan, a category four tropical cyclone, descended upon them. Cyclone Evan

wiped out what homes and belongings had been salvaged from the landslide at their temporary site, a few kilometres down the road, and also destroyed more of Tukuraki’s livelihood: its crops.

“We had a very hard time after the cyclone because everything we owned was lost.”

“This place, there’s no working, we just do the farming and sell in the market,” says Botitu.

But despite being in the midst of relocating to a new site, climate change was not quite done with Tukuraki just yet. In 2016 severe Tropical Cyclone Winston destroyed what remained of the small mountainous village.

The caves, which had kept Botitu’s daughters safe following the landslide, were the residents of Tukuraki’s only shelter from the wrath of Winston.

“We had a very hard time after the cyclone because everything we owned was lost,” Botitu explains.

What belongings she managed to salvage now sit in boxes in her temporary home. The villagers’ crops, consisting of vegetables and fruit trees, were once again ruined. “We used to sit under the mango trees and drink grog,” Botitu reflects, “we led a simple life, but we were rich.”

Six years on from the fatal landslide, and a few broken buildings are all that remain of the old Tukuraki. But as the buildings of the relocated village near completion, there is hope: the displaced community will have the chance to come together again, something Botitu is looking forward to.

“It gets very lonely up here, with just your family and construction workers around.”

For George Dregaso, project manager of the relocation, seeing the villagers return to a normal way of life is what motivates him.

“I just want to see them become a community again. That’s what really drives me.”

However, the relocation and adapting to climate change has not been an easy journey.

Although the people of Tukuraki are grateful for the relocation, the process has been long and gruelling.

“It happened in 2012 and now it’s 2017. For that long period of time we have had to struggle.

“It’s been very challenging for us. It’s taken a very long time,” says Botitu.

The relocation project was meant to be completed in November 2016, but has faced significant setbacks due to a shortage of building supplies following Cyclone Winston.

Dregaso says the lack of materials is not unique to the project, but “endemic to Fiji as a whole”.

“But we’ve researched and found more building materials.”

The project is now due to be completed in July this year, ending six years of limbo for the Tukuraki community. Sadly, the new village is not without its drawbacks. The relocated village site is mostly bare and Botitu says this is the hardest part about leaving Tukuraki behind.

“The old Tukuraki, it was a nice village. The relocated site just gives us a place to sleep.

There is no place to do the farming.”

This means the villagers have to walk approximately 10km across hilly ground to get to their old crops. As we stand on a hill overlooking the site with Dregaso, it is easy to understand Botitu’s disappointment. All of the houses bar one have been completed and the Methodist church is yet to be built, and there are no trees in sight. Strands of grass are barely visible against the red-brown clay, and the only way to traverse the village easily is in

gumboots, which were kindly donated to us by a couple of the contractors.

For Fiji, a giant

question mark still looms over the

future of climate

change relocations.

The only consolation seems to be that the villagers now have access to clean, running water, flushable toilets, showers, and shelter from future storms. The community hall, which doubles as an evacuation centre, can withstand a category five cyclone, meaning the villagers will no longer be forced to take shelter in the caves. If the reinforcement of the evacuation centre is anything to go by, it is certain the people of Tukuraki, and indeed people across the Pacific, will continue to face head-on the effects of a warming planet.

Fiji’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs states that approximately 800 communities within the country have been affected by climate change.

In the Pacific alone, the London School of Economics estimates 1.7 million people could be displaced by 2050. For Fiji’s main island,

Viti Levu, home to the village of Tukuraki, the impacts of climate change are expected to cause economic damages of up to FJD$52 million (around NZD$36 million) per year. That is four percent of the country’s total Gross Domestic Product.

For Fiji, a giant question mark still looms over the future of climate change relocations.

Forty-five villages have been earmarked for potential relocation, although Fiji’s Climate Change Unit says this number is not final.

These relocations are also not expected to occur within the next five to ten years.

“I doubt it,” says Teresia Powell, project coordinator for climate change integrated vulnerability and adaptation assessments with the Ministry of Economy’s Climate Change Unit, “relocation is a long process and quite expensive.”

She says the Fijian government therefore cannot realistically afford to complete all of these relocations. “It can only be possible with the help of donor funds, financial institutions, and co-finance with the community itself.”

In Fiji, climate change is not coming, it is already there. For Vilimaina Botitu and the community of Tukuraki, global warming is not an idea: it is a lived and daily experience.

When asked if she was mad at industrialised countries for changing her way of life, Botitu had no anger, only sadness: “I pray to God that climate change will stop.”

19

Heightened awareness

An AUT graduate’s mission to destroy stereotypes has scored him thousands of fans.

By Shawn Cleaver

If someone told you what Jordon Milroy has already achieved, you wouldn’t imagine him as someone who spends 80 percent of his time in a wheelchair.

The full-time social worker, charity initiator, AUT graduate, (who is contemplating his masters, which he is accepted into) and climber of some of the world’s tallest buildings is also a bit of a shit talker.

“That was the first thing my friends said,” Jordon tells me, as we catch up between the WG and WF buildings, “that I was full of shit.”

Jordon recalls his mate’s hesitancy to believe him when he said he would climb the Sky Tower. That was five years ago, and 10 other dramatically tall towers earlier.

Jordon’s idea stemmed from a want to destroy stereotypes about disabled people, while raising money for disabled people in Samoa.

“You wouldn’t think I’m half Samoan – I’m the wrong colour,” he jokes through a cheeky grin.

Jordon’s disorder, cerebral palsy “doesn’t get better and doesn’t get worse” as he bluntly puts it. CP affects muscle tone and motor skills, so Jordon uses a wheelchair and a walking frame most of the time. Although his speech is slightly slurred from CP, he has no mental issues from it. You work that out pretty quickly after chatting for about a minute.

Not everyone gets that minute though. “People see the wheelchair before they see me,” Jordon mentions. He says it without an ounce of pity-digging, but as a strong motivational statement to justify the work he does.

He told me about how he travelled to far away countries on his own to climb towers and how he would constantly get stopped at the airport. “They would ask where my mum was… I mean, I’m 27 years old! Where’s your mum?!”

Jordon’s mum is actually in Samoa, where all his thousands of fundraised dollars end up. The cash he raises goes toward rugged off-road wheelchairs for disabled Samoans. “There’s no sidewalk, no health system. They’re basically abandoned. Giving a wheelchair is like giving someone a new set of legs.”

Jordan helped gather the thousands of dollars needed for these chairs through some very savvy marketing. I asked him how he got his 20,000 Facebook followers, and he made sure to correct me.

“21,000. And I mean, I have a degree in PR.” He’s right, it didn’t happen by chance. One thing made clear

by Jordon when you talk to him is his unwavering focus on his missions. It’s refreshing to talk with someone so hell-bent on making positive change, that their adverse circumstances actually fuel their drive. I was sure he wasn’t satisfied yet, as we talked about what was next for him.

I mentioned the Burj Khalifa. “That’s the ultimate goal,” he said, his eyes lighting up. He went on to explain that they actually don’t let people climb their stairs, pretty much ever. So in a weird paradox, physically climbing the world’s tallest tower would be easier than simply getting the necessary permission.

It’s a work in progress for now. I predict the people in Dubai will eventually come around to his wit and charisma. They won’t be in the first 21,000 to do so, and certainly won’t be the last.

21

Addressing the elephant in the room

By Rosie Gordon Wrinkles frame wise, amber eyes. Dust covers crinkled skin, stretching and sagging with each lumbered step. Wise and tranquil – their inner calm magnetic, their majestic size captivating. Elephants.

An undeniable, untamed beauty.

Nearby cheetahs blink back – blasé.

Orangutans slowly loop from one branch to the next. And a giraffe cranes its neck before turning away. Artificial grass-top huts, concrete paths, high wire fences, padlocks, rubbish bins, discarded paddle pop sticks, and glossy signs to the gift shop. It’s mid-afternoon at Auckland Zoo. The school holidays are coming to an end, and parents shepherd kids from one enclosure to the next.

“Animals in zoos are almost like a shell of the animal – you see the flesh and blood of the animal, but you don’t see the behaviours and the beauty of it,” said Holly O’Connor, aged 12, who first visited Wellington Zoo two years ago.

“My parents took me to the zoo so that I could make up my mind up for myself. I knew that even though the animals were cute and stuff it just didn’t seem right,” said Holly.

elephants in New Zealand, Burma and Anjalee. Burma has lived at Auckland Zoo for 25 years, while Anjalee arrived in Auckland last year as a gift from the Sri Lankan Government. Soon there will be three elephants, with another named Nandi set to travel from Sri Lanka to New Zealand soon. However, various activist groups in Sri Lanka have held up her move, as part of a bigger fight against Sri Lanka’s animal gifting tradition. Nandi certainly is the elephant in the room, sparking debates around the purpose of having exotic animals live miles from their homes in the zoo of a small country at the bottom of the world.

So why bring these animals to New Zealand? And who really benefits? Are we saving these creatures from a life of hardship? Or are we subjecting them to well-decorated enclosures to simply give kids and tourists something to gawk at while they lick their jelly-tips and snap their selfies? A New Zealand animal rights group believe it is the latter, and say exotic animals are forced to live in zoos for the wrong reason: public amusement.

“It’s about looking at what they deserve not just what we want to get out of them,” explained SAFE campaign manager, Mandy Carter.

And she isn’t alone in those thoughts.

Auckland Zoo is home to the only two

Carter also said Nandi will serve little purpose for education and conservation.

Instead, she said the decision to accept Sri Lankan elephants aims to attract people and tourists to the city’s zoo by “adding another string to Auckland’s bow”.

“We don’t think that Nandi should come.

There are groups in Sri Lanka who also don’t want Nandi to come either.

“Elephants usually die younger in zoos than they do in the wild. This is often due to having to walk on concrete or hard ground that they wouldn’t in the wild, which gives them arthritis,” said Carter.

However, the director of Auckland Zoo, Jonathan Wilcken, argues that bringing wild animals to New Zealand zoos benefits the animal’s quality of life, animal education and conservation.

He speaks with speed, confidence and conviction when he says, “We are solely and specifically focused on the sorts of roles that zoos can play with conserving species in the wild.”

Wilcken reiterated the fact that Auckland Zoo is a not-for-profit organisation. He said revenue from visitors, investors and grants all goes towards looking after animals in the zoo and helping to fund the preservation of species in the wild.

“Everything we do is prioritised through the metric of whether it will help to conserve species in the wild or not.”

23

Wilcken said a major part of Auckland Zoo’s conservation plan is a breeding programme.

This involves coordinating with zoos overseas to move animals around the world in order to create family groups where reproduction will occur.

When debating the matter of whether or not elephants should be held in captivity, it would be unscrupulous to overlook those who work closely with the elephants every day: the zookeepers, who, unlike the rest of the public, touch their leathery skin, look deep into their eyes and bond with these creatures on another level.

Sporting a walkie-talkie in his pocket, dusty work boots, rustled hair and the signature khaki Auckland Zoo uniform, Joel Milicichi strides around the zoo with purpose. “It’s been hectic,” he sighs, smiling, and after 11 years at Auckland Zoo, it’s clear he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Milicichi said what motivates him is getting to work closely with animals as intelligent as elephants. “Every day is so incredibly special and even though you work with these guys for many, many years, they still

come up with ways to amaze you.”

When asked about the role of zoos, Milicichi said it is one that is changing. “The zoo’s moving away from being an entertainment or recreational facility and becoming a conservation organisation that puts its money, effort and time into what’s actually going on out there, and what we can actually do to stop it.

“A big part of our role is educating people about why we’re doing what we’re doing, why these animals are here, and why we are actually advocating for them.”

In terms of finding a solution to this dilemma, Michelle Harrod, the founder of The Animal Connection Charitable Trust, said animal sanctuaries are the way to go.

“People say zoos should be closed but where would you put those animals? You can’t put them in the wild because there is no wild. We’ve taken all of it away,” said Harrod.

Harrod has been working to open her own sanctuary in New Zealand for a number of

years in the site where Franklin Zoo used to be. (The zoo was shut down after an elephant killed the owner in 2012.) But Harrod could not raise enough money to secure the land so her project did not go ahead.

“Obviously sanctuaries are the ideal [option] these days and a lot of zoos are closing down and putting animals in sanctuaries.”

Ultimately, Harrod said the way to protect animals will be to change human behaviour and minimise greed.

It’s closing time at Auckland Zoo. The car park empties, the sound of children fades, and keepers dust off enclosures before shutting the gates after a long day. The elephants remain – day in day out. The question of having exotic animals in New Zealand zoos is a convoluted one with no concrete answer. As the arguments around zoos continue, one thing remains clear: whether you are for or against them, all those concerned care deeply about preserving the elephant.

The pain of men-struation

By Grace Hood-Edwards “Only a very brave man or a fool would dare give women advice on how to manage their menstrual cycle. I am not sure which one I am, but, I’m going to do it anyway.”

How often have women experienced this particular type of discourse from a man in their lives?

I am a man who has never actually experienced something, but feel qualified – as a man – to talk about it, and even to claim that I have experienced it by proxy.

I have never experienced a period in my life, but because I know women and have a wife that I live with I too know the pain of a period. I have never given birth in my life, but because I was in the room when my wife gave birth I too know exactly what it is like to carry a child for 9 months and then shove it out of my vagina. You know, I feel the discomfort of breastfeeding because I too was once breastfed. I also have drunk milk from a cow, so I know exactly what the cow is experiencing as well.

A recent article published in the Waikato Times by columnist Tom O’Connor has been making the rounds recently. The piece entitled “Period pain not a female only gig” has been

condemned and criticised by media outlets and social media warriors. Although Madeleine Chapman of The Spinoff has had the best response so far with her three-word ‘comprehensive rebuttal’, I’ve always been one to belabour a point.

In his article, Tom genuinely claims that any man that lives with a woman has suffered from the pains of a period, because they have to live with a woman whilst they’re experiencing said period. His article doesn’t use his argument as a way to discuss intersex or trans individuals, and the gender dysphoria that can accompany periods. His article is really some roundabout, misguided and misogynistic way for him to support Pharmac’s recent decision to not subsidise female sanitary products (surprise-surprise!). Yet he doesn’t ever actually substantiate his position. He instead gets mired down in thoughts of the good old days where we sent children to work in coal mines and women were just baby-making factories designed to churn out these tiny-handed miners.

Apparently Tom’s thoughts just “need” to be said and he is unafraid of “possible female retribution and scorn” (because of course all men will agree with him, right?). And according to his article, he’s been receiving female scorn since he was 15-yearsold. I would be interested in asking why, but if these are truly the beliefs that Mr. O’Connor holds towards women then I don’t really think there’s any need to.

25

Tom believes that all men suffer periods like women because they have to put up with us when we are on our periods.

Initially, Tom O’Connor seems to be making a valid point in saying that the subject of menstruation has long been considered taboo and alien by men. This is undeniably true. It happens from the youngest age where, when taught sex education, boys go off into their room whilst the girls stay in their room and watch as a teacher dips a tampon in a glass of water to show you how much they really can absorb.

Every girl who has ever had a period will have experienced that worry that their tampons or pads might spill out of their bag in front of other boys. Some will have been ridiculed for it. When I was getting painkillers for my last period, I told my brother I had a pain in my stomach. He asked why, and I said because I was on my period. He then proceeded to say “Ew! TMI. You don’t need to tell me about that.” I told him that he had asked, and he repeated that I shouldn’t tell him about that and that he doesn’t tell me about his poo.

Now my brother actually is 15-years-old, so I can somewhat excuse him for this behaviour.

What I cannot excuse are the men and the

society around him that has taught him to think this way. It seems like Tom might be moving towards a criticism of the toxic masculinity that pervades our society and creates this thinking.

The shame that is put upon women for our periods is not of our own making. Yet Tom refers to our “martyr-like” attitude and female knowledge of menstruation as some sort of secret club to which men are excluded.

“The matter of menstruation has been out of bounds for discussion by men since time immemorial.” We didn’t make these rules, Tom. Men seem perfectly keen to police every other aspect of our reproductive system. What could have been a reasonably insightful criticism of the separation of classical genders and the harm it does to both sides completely loses the plot from here on in.

“Any man who claims he has not suffered from the effects of the female menstrual cycle is either genuinely celibate or has not been married long enough.” If your argument

had any reality to it whatsoever, I would bring up the counterpoint that the men could be gay, Tom. Regardless, Tom believes that all men suffer periods like women because they have to put up with us when we are on our periods. From all women, we apologise for being such an inconvenience. We’re sorry our periods interrupt your otherwise blissful and bloodless existence. We’re sorry that our “most natural and fundamental of processes” is actually necessary for your existence. I wondered if I was being too mean for a moment. Unfortunately I can’t assign my feelings of anger and frustration to my hormonal imbalances, because my period finished a few days ago. I have recovered my sanity and have regained the ability to function. Thank goodness for that.

Tom’s picture of a woman is “the sweet and gentle creature who promised to be a loving, lifelong companion [that] has a personality crisis every 28 days or so.” I am clearly not a woman, as I am neither sweet nor gentle, and I don’t have the “excuse” of a period. It’s

almost like this “creature” he calls woman is actually a human? Who has feelings, and mood fluctuations? Who would have guessed? Not Tom, as he goes on to refer to women as “playful kitten[s]” that devolve into “dangerous tigress[es]” whenever they get their period. It’s a shame really, for Tom, that women aren’t animals. He would like us to be treated as such, simply because that’s how it was done back in the day.

Because periods are not an illness, despite causing severe cramping pain, tenderness, headaches, fevers, nausea, hormone changes, fatigue, bleeding from the vagina and sometimes actual vomit, apparently our sanitary items are not essential. Tom would also like to literally take the nappy from the baby, as he argues that sanitary items and disposable nappies aren’t essentials, simply because they used to use rags when he was growing up. Tom is now bemoaning our societal reliance on commercial goods, claiming we should all return to beating out stains with stones and washing our clothes in

a river and wearing the pelts of the animals we kill for food. Unless Tom has reverted to a caveman-lifestyle, wherein he has sacrificed every amenity of modern day life – from shoes to electricity – he needs to put up or shut up.

This entire article of Tom’s was basically to say he supports Pharmac’s choice to not subsidise female sanitary products, because he doesn’t want to pay any taxes that would assist half the world’s population. He already suffers enough you see, because when his wife gets her period she ceases to be an angelic force and might, instead, react like a human being in pain.

Jyoti Sanghera, chief of the UN Human Rights Office on Economic and Social Issues, spoke of the stigma around menstruation and menstrual hygiene as “a violation of several human rights, most importantly the right to human dignity.” But Tom would like us to carry around bags of bloody rags that we incinerate simply because he doesn’t want to contribute to helping lessen the financial strain on

families that already have to resort to rags, newspaper and towels.

The price of these necessary sanitary products, that women consistently rely on, is not controlled. The price is actually preventing young girls across the country from being able to attend school, especially in rural areas where people cannot afford sanitary products.

There are those with chronic problems, and sufferers of conditions like endometriosis who must pay more to manage their periods.

The government has not removed GST, and probably doesn’t plan to. I would bet your gumboots, rugby ball and DIY tools that if men experienced monthly bleeding from their penis, as Michele A’Court so accurately envisioned, sanitary products or “penis-wraps” would be free. Sanitary products are taxed as luxury items, throughout the world. Anyone who has had a period would know that menstruation is the furthest from luxury you can get. Do you need a second opinion on that? Perhaps you should ask Tom. He’ll be happy to tell you all about it.

27

No time to waste Single-use plastic is destroying the planet, and this 29-year-old Auckland business owner is doing something about it.

Bridie Chetwin-Kelly | Photography by Julie Cleaver

We all know that the environment is in a delicate state.

Many governments worldwide have ignored the science surrounding climate change (dare I say his name?), and so, we as consumers and people of this planet must be the ones taking charge. A change as simple as using renewable shopping bags can reduce your carbon footprint annually by literally tonnes. But of course, even small changes like this can be challenging to implement. That is why a new store in Ponsonby, GoodFor, which opened in March this year, has tried to make renewable choices easier for consumers by completely scrapping single-use plastic packaging.

GoodFor is a small health food supermarket filled with bulk bins and large liquid dispensers. It’s basically like pick-andmix on steroids. It has a huge range of everything from grains, seeds, teas, oil and flour, legumes and more. People can buy glass jars or paper bags, but the store encourages people to bring their own renewable packaging. The staff weigh your packaging at the beginning and then take this weight off the price at the end. It’s easy, and just like that, you have reduced your carbon footprint and said no to single-use plastic.

Owner and creator James Denton, 29, is all about encouraging people to make small changes that benefit the environment. When I spoke with him, he seemed as ambitious as he is humble. He created the business after he became aware of the environmental issues caused by single-use plastic, which include the pollution of waterways, creation of masses of landfill, and the death of animals who choke on the bags in the wild.

The biggest change that Denton said people can make to help the planet is avoiding single-use plastic. “Single-use water bottles are ridiculous – do not buy a single-use water bottle ever again.”

Denton is not only passionate about reducing pollution, but also giving back. GoodFor supports the charity Trees For The Future, whose goal is to combat deforestation and support small communities across the world. They do this by providing impoverished communities with seeds to help them survive. “They provide seeds, equipment and on-going support to small communities, which in turn means the soil becomes regenerated and ends up allowing these communities to feed themselves and become selfsustaining,” said Denton.

Renali Narayan, a devote environmentalist who studies sustainable business at AUT, agrees with Denton’s mission and offers this advice to students: “For an individual making a change today, it can be as simple as saying no to the plastic water bottle, the one-wear t-shirt, and the suspiciously cheap novelty phone case. It’s a matter of knowing the true full cost not printed on the label.”

Additionally, Gabrielle Message, who heads the Sustainable Aotearoa group at AUT, said people can help the planet by making intelligent and informed decisions. “We can say no to consumerist rituals which support corporations that sidestep responsibility thanks to their economic power,” she said.

According to EcoWatch.com, a well-trusted enviro news site, single-use plastic, if not recycled properly, takes between 500-1000 years to bio-degrade. Furthermore, the plastic that isn’t recycled correctly is dumped in the ocean and kills one million sea birds and 100,000 marine mammals annually. By saying no to plastic and yes to a good quality water bottle or reusable shopping bags, you are reducing your carbon footprint. There’s no time like the present and there is certainly no time to waste.

29

Reviews

G U Y WIL LIAMS

TH E SA L ES M A N

C ome dy

D i re ct e d by A sgha r Fa r ha d i

Reviewed by Julie Cleaver

Reviewed by Abigail Johnson

In terms of comedy, Guy Williams is a relatively big name in New Zealand. When scrolling through the Comedy Fest’s line-up, his name stood out among pages of unknown newcomers. It is this familiarity that filled up his show, and also this familiarity that arguably made him complacent.

This Iranian drama/thriller is notable for a few reasons, the foremost being filmmaker Asghar Farhadi’s forced absence from the 89th Academy Awards. Nothing could sum up the division in the U.S. more distinctly than a man being nominated for the most prestigious of Hollywood awards, and then promptly barred from the country.

Throughout the whole set Williams felt like he was permanently on the back foot. He stated, “You can’t win them all, they can’t all be funny,” to a silent audience far too many times. There were a few comical moments though, like when he analyses Kanye lyrics and discusses his own failed basketball dreams. There were also some spontaneous and funny one-liners, like, “You can’t spell housing crisis without ISIS.” However, his prepared jokes were scarcely scattered in amongst what felt like an hour of rambling.

Anousheh Ansari, a prominent Iranian-American engineer, and the first self-funded woman in space, accepted the Academy Award on Farhadi’s behalf, reading from a written statement: “Dividing the world into the ‘us’ and ‘our enemies’ categories creates fear… Filmmakers can turn their cameras to capture shared human qualities and break stereotypes of various nationalities and religions. They create empathy between us and others.”

Like so many young idealistic people, Williams mentions his deep desire to do good for the world. He calls himself a “social justice warrior” upwards of four times. He also talks about the self-hatred he harbours due to his hypocrisy and lack of action, aside from a few Tweets here and there. To soften his guilt, I believe Williams used his show to educate the audience about various issues happening around the world, including the refugee crisis, feminism, bigotry, and how being overly politically correct is actually good. These are all important topics, but they are not necessarily funny. At the end of the night I felt like I had just patiently listened to an angry friend rant about their opinions of the world and was not amused in the slightest.

The real MVP of the show was Williams’ mum. Every time it felt like the audience was slipping away, he would pull out his phone and read out a hilarious txt or email from her, who re-wrote her will while travelling in Europe just in case “those ISIS bastards got her”.

In saying all that, Williams is still a likeable guy who is easy to relate to on stage. He made sure to high five the audience on the way out, which was a nice touch. We all have our off nights, I just hope next time he will rely more on his content to sell tickets – not his name.

The Salesman does just that. It’s a deeply psychological slow burn. It’s a study of characters, of what happens to them and how they react.

Suspenseful: yes. Darkly funny: at times. But most of all, this film is human.

It’s the story of a married couple, both thespians performing an Iranian translation of Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman. Circumstance forces them into a new apartment, which they take quickly, without paying any mind to the lifestyle of the previous tenant. It is in their new home that the wife is horrifically assaulted. From here on out it’s a patient and foreboding ride to the finish. The tension, like a flickering candle, never threatens to burn the house down, but never goes out either.

When re-watching the film’s Oscar win on Youtube, I abandoned all logic and took a dive into the cesspool of ignorance known as the comments section below. Unsurprisingly, it was brimming with delightful racism, but one comment in particular stood out to me. “We give this guy an award,” it read, “and he repays us by not even showing up.”

Untrue, of course. Awards like this are not freely given – they are (most times) painstakingly earned. The Salesman is no exception.

CO LOSSA L Di rect e d by N ac ho V ig al o n do

DIVIDE E d She e ra n

S t a r r i ng : Anne Hat ha wa y, J as o n S udei ki s , Aus t i n S t owe ll

Reviewed by Sarah Pollok Reviewed by Ethan Sills Monster movies are back in fashion right now, with plenty of blockbusters over the past few years and even more on the way. The one area where many of these movies fail though is their lack of humanity. They seem to be more focused on the big set pieces then they are on the people we are supposed to care about.

Colossal is the exact opposite of that; it’s a movie with a giant monster at the centre of it, but this one is all about the people.

Specifically, the person who is accidentally controlling it. Annie, a journalist brought down by her alcoholism, retreats to her hometown after being dumped, where she reconnects with old friends and makes an unsettling discovery: she is somehow psychically linked with a giant monster terrorising South Korea.

On paper, this is a concept that should not work at all, but surprisingly, Colossal excels, even with its ridiculous plot. It starts off as a slow burner, and by the halfway point you wonder just what they can do with the story once the initial humour is dispensed with.

Thankfully, a twist in the middle changes the movie and gives it a sudden edge that leaves you tensely captivated for the rest of the run time.

No matter what your feelings are of her as person, you can’t deny that Anne Hathaway is a talented actress. She excels as Annie, her performance the most consistent thing throughout the movie that gives the impossible story the perfect human centre. Her character’s journey is one of the more unique ones in recent cinema, and adds to the film’s novelty.

It may not have the action or special effects you want from a monster epic, but the minds behind Godzilla and King Kong could learn a lot from the quiet, challenging humanity that powers Colossal.

After a three-year hiatus, the lovable Sheeran is back – however not everyone is impressed. Garnering a lot of criticism, his new album Divide has been described as ‘overly sentimental’ and ‘calculatedly modest’, as his unassuming ‘everyman’ façade grows tired. It seems like Sheeran really wants to remind us that he’s just an average guy who didn’t go to university, yet managed by luck to become a superstar. So much so, that he mentions it in two different songs… just in case you missed the three references he has made in previous albums.

Starting with ‘Eraser’ seems like an odd way to open, as even Ed admits his strength doesn’t lie in rapping: the following radio banger ‘Castle on the Hill’ is much more his pace. This song is a typical Sheeranesuqe, light-hearted celebratory ballad about his hometown, and it will likely be a staple for your next road trip. The tempo then slows back down with ‘Dive’, arguably his best song vocally on Divide, before he launches into ‘Shape of You’. This song is so stylistically different, you’ll momentarily question whether this is the same Ed Sheeran we knew and loved.

Lets be real, ‘Perfect’ could be better titled as ‘Thinking Out Loud 2.0’.

He then follows with ‘How Would You Feel’ – a soppy tune that is sure to become the new number one wedding song. Then comes ‘Galway Girl’, something people would drunkenly slur along to at the reception, despite its focus being more on sounding charmingly Irish than cohesive.

Admittedly, it’s going to be impossible to keep your feet from tapping along to the beat of ‘Barcelona’, a summer tune inspired by his European travels. But criticism aside, Ed impresses with a slick album that is rich in nostalgia, cheeky antics and summer vibes. The album’s catchy tunes and classic sentimental ballads will surely earn it a place at the top of the charts for weeks to come.

31

Cheap-as-chips veggie pizza This quick, budget take on classic spinach and egg ‘Florentine’ pizza uses flatbreads instead of traditional dough. It takes 15 minutes to prepare and 25 minutes to cook. Recipe makes five pizzas.

Ingredients •

200g carton passata

•

Pack of 5 large Middle Eastern flatbreads

•

½ x 750g bag of frozen spinach, defrosted

•

1 garlic clove, chopped

•

3 balls mozzarella, patter dry and torn

•

5 medium eggs

•

Freshly grated nutmeg

•

Small bunch basil

•

Shaved parmesan to serve

Method 1. Heat the oven to as high as it will go. Spread 1-2 tbsp of passata over each flatbread. Squeeze as much water as you can from the spinach (this will prevent your pizzas from being soggy), then scatter on top, leaving a gap in the centre. Divide the garlic and mozzarella between the pizzas, seasoning generously as you go.

2. You will probably only be able to bake 2 pizzas at a time.

So put 2 on a baking tray, carefully crack an egg into the middle of each, and season with nutmeg and some of the basil. Bake for 7 mins until the cheese has melted and the egg is cooked to your liking.

3. Repeat with the remaining pizzas and ingredients. Serve, garnished with a little more basil and some parmesan. Cut into slices and share.

Check out more recipes at www.bbcgoodfood.com

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