Debate | Issue 8 | 2017

DEBATE ISSUE 08 | JUNE 2017

DAVID DALLAS + 13 REASONS WHY + CONCERT GIVEAWAYS 1

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CONTENTS Pg 4 Editor’s Letter

Pg 17 Imperfect, But Not Broken

Pg 27 Bananas About Bananas

Pg 5 Prez sez

Pg 18 Cool Shit

Pg 28 Comedy Fest: Yay or Nay?

Pg 6 13 Reasons Why

Pg 20 David Dallas

Pg 30 No-Bake Oreo Balls

Pg 10 From Refugee to Potential Green MP

Pg 22 Hating Millennials – is This the Way Forward?

Pg 32 Reviews

Pg 12 Broke, But Still Want to Hit the Slopes?

Pg 14 Female Surfers Rip Up Waves and Stereotypes

Pg 34 Puzzles

Pg 24 Is Identity More Important Than Policy in Modern Politics?

C O V E R I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y H O P E M C C O N N E L L

EDITOR Julie Cleaver debate@aut.ac.nz DESIGNER Ramina Rai rrai@aut.ac.nz

CONTRIBUTORS Benjamin Matthews, Bridie ChetwinKelly, Dayna Patel, Ethan Sills, Grace Hood-Edwards, Grace Stratton, Hope McConnell, James Howe, Jodealyn Cadacio, Laine Yeager, Sarah Pollok, Shawn Cleaver, Simran Singh ADVERTISING Harriet Smythe hsmythe@aut.ac.nz

PRINTER Nicholson Printer Solutions DISCLAIMER

Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, Nicholson Printer solutions or its subsidiaries.

Debate is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA)

This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUCKLAND STUDENT MOVEMENT AT AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY INCORPORATED (“AuSM”). Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly.

Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AuSM.

PUBLISHED BY

w w w. a u s m . o r g . n z facebook.com/ausmdebate

3

Editor’s Letter Vandalise my face

Before I had the concentration to read newspapers and magazines, the way I connected with the pages full of interesting, worldly content was by drawing on every person’s face I could find. No one was safe from my coloured pens, and every punter, politician or poor person sharing their personal story would end up with a fuzzy monobrow, coloured teeth, massive boils, and mucus dripping from their nose.

At the time I felt slightly guilty for defiling my parent’s property, but thinking back, perhaps it was this constant flicking through newspapers that inspired my career in journalism. Forget my basic bitch desire to save the world and share people’s stories.

That’s not inspiration. My real motivation must have been subtly instilled in me during those hours of creative outpour.

Name:

And so, in the name of encouraging future journalists, writers, and readers, I propose a competition: draw whatever you can think of on my face (above), rip out this page, and stick it in one of the red boxes on the side of any Debate stand. The person with the best drawing will get an epic prize, and the top few will be featured in the next issue of the magazine. To be in to win, make sure you write your name and email very clearly below.

(You’d be surprised by the number of winners I can’t contact due to messy handwriting.)

However, not everything in this issue deserves defiling. We’ve got some seriously good articles, like an inside look at the controversial Netflix programme 13 Reasons Why, an interview with hip-hop star David Dallas, and a reflective piece about females in the surfing world.

Enjoy reading the mag and destroying my face! I hope both activities relieve some exam stress.

– Julie Cleaver, Debate Editor

Email:

Business, Economics & Law Faculty Representative

Disabilities Affairs Officer

Kia ora all,

Kia ora,

I will be your Business, Economics & Law Faculty Representative on the AuSM Student Representative Council this year. I want to extend a warm welcome to all business, economics and law students and let you know I am here to help. You can contact me any time on bl.faculty.rep@aut. ac.nz and I will to get back to you within 24 hours on week days. You can also find me at Counter Café on Level 1 of the WF building every Thursday from 10.30am to 11.30am, which will be my dedicated casual office hours for the year. Come by and say hi, or stay for coffee and a chat. I’m looking forward to meeting some of you soon and hearing any of your concerns that I can assist with.

University is a fun and exciting time of your life, but the workload means that it isn’t always a walk in the park. That is why there are amazing services to help you get by. AUT is known for its supportive environment, so make the most of it whether it’s help with your assignment referencing, library courses, health and counselling services, the list goes on! Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

My name is Matt and I’m your Disability Affairs Officer for 2017. What does this mean? Well, it means that I represent every student with any form of disability at AUT. So if you’re having any issues, feel free to get in touch, my email is in your AuSM diaries (if you don’t have one, they’re in front of the AuSM offices and they’re really useful to have). If you’re not having any issues, still feel free to flag me down if you see me around and say hi!

Having been a student at AUT with spina bifida for a few years now, I know the struggles of juggling studies with the daily challenges of living with a disability all too well.

Hela Rahman

AUT is a university FILLED with opportunities, so make sure you get involved. Seize any opportunity you get and you will thank yourself later, trust me! AUT is fresh, diverse and always on the lookout for new ideas; this is your place to shine. 2017 is your year!

Wishing you all the very best, Hela

Matthew Greive

My focus this year will be ensuring that the hauora of every student is looked after in all its forms. Whether it be your physical well-being, mental well-being or even your spiritual well-being, AUT and AuSM offer services that can help you.

Lastly, some advice for those of you who are new. Uni can be one of the most crazy rides of your life, you’ll experience many ups and down (hopefully more of the former). This is why we all need the support that AUT and AuSM offer us. Whether it be representation from AuSM or in class support for things like learning how to write an A grade essay, there is a lot of support offered here. Take it from a guy who’s been there and done that, make the most of the support offered.

Best of luck for the year ahead, Matt

5

13

RE AS O N S WHY

By Sarah Pollok | Illustration by Hope McConnell

Trigger warning: The following article contains content referring to self-harm and suicide.

Reader discretion is encouraged.

The moment the credits rolled on 13 Reasons Why’s pilot episode, I was hooked. Yet this seemingly innocent and totally bingeworthy Netflix show is sparking massive controversy, as mental health professionals are alerting audiences to its negative influence. After watching the following 12 episodes and reading a number of emotional and dramatic reviews online, I decided that I had to write about it.

Even though I tried to put my personal mental health history aside to ensure some impartiality, let me tell you, it’s pretty damn impossible to be objective after watching a graphically detailed scene of a girl bleeding out into a bathtub. That’s something that leaves us weaker-stomached people retching over a toilet, and that haunts the minds of the rest. The truth is, I couldn’t watch an explicit performance of a teenager’s suicide without getting emotionally invested. I’m not sure if anyone can. This provokes the question: is 13 Reasons Why using this emotional capital to increase awareness on suicide? Or is it just putting ideas in teenagers’ heads?

If you’ve been living under a rock for the past few months, let me fill you in. On the 31st of March this year, Netflix launched a television adaptation of Jay Asher’s novel 13 Reasons Why. The 13-episode season follows the last days of Hannah Baker’s life before she commits suicide. Baker’s narrative, which is brilliantly played by Katherine Langford, is told through 13 tapes left in the hands of her socially awkward friend Clay Jensen. Each tape is dedicated to a classmate she blames for her death. Without revealing too much, the show is based around these tapes getting passed between the 12 students, who are instructed to listen to all of them (including their own) before passing them along. The narrative cuts between Baker’s recorded memories of bullying, slut shaming, sexual assaults and gossip, and Clay listening to it in real time.

There’s no denying that this show is objectively brilliant. Its combination of love triangle, coming of age, murder mystery and high school drama creates a suspenseful and engaging watch from start to finish. The New York Observer commemorates the way it looks into the intricate parts that others can play in someone’s life, while Time Magazine was quick to praise its impressive cast.

The show gained a highly sought after rating of 91 percent on Rotten Tomatoes and Forbes claims that it’s Netflix’s “best show in years”. However, the positive critical acclaim seems to end there.

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“Will your show drive insecure teenagers to suicide?” probably isn’t a question most TV producers want to hear. Yet it’s one that mental health experts are asking the 13 Reasons Why team, as some evidence suggests the show could potentially increase suicide rates. This is because some research indicates that increased media coverage of suicides could lead to an increase of reported self-harm and attempts at life.

However, other research shows that if a suicide method is depicted in the media, people are more likely to adopt that specific method, but the overall number of suicides will not increase. Proving this is New Zealand’s National Centre of Mental Health Research, who published a study in 2011 that researched the media influences on suicide behaviour of young people.

The data revealed that the primary way youth learn about self-harm and suicide methods is through television. However, Madelyn Gould’s study ‘Media Contagion and Suicide Among the Youth’ in 2003 found a correlation between fictional and nonfictional depictions of suicide in mass media, and a statistical increase in reported suicide attempts.

In response to these studies and hundreds of others like them, The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention published media guidelines to help prevent suicide. It’s pretty simple, don’t a) divulge the method of suicide or b) refer to any explicit details

left in a suicide note. In other words, don’t write the plot of 13 Reasons Why. While I’m the first to admit it’s an epically produced drama, the show – and especially the climactic suicide scene – looks a hell of a lot like a suicide manual that doesn’t mention correct prevention guidelines. “I have watched the show and was horrified at the graphic, sensational ways in which they depicted Hannah’s life,” Dan Reidenberg, executive director of Suicide Awareness Voices of Education, told The Huffington Post.

“Viewers can understand someone who dies, even by suicide, without having to be so graphic.” And honestly, I’d have to agree.

While the show’s intention of trying to teach compassion and sensitivity is admirable, watching Hannah Baker take a razor to herself in high definition isn’t going to do anything for suicide prevention.

Although a television show where the protagonist commits suicide could be an opportunity to examine the complexities of mental health through a pop culture medium, it seems the producers had other priorities in mind. The terms ‘mental illness’ or ‘depression’ are never mentioned throughout the entire 13 hours of Season One. This ignorance of mental health is a missed opportunity to encourage dialogue and reduce stigmatisation about mental wellbeing. Admittedly, suicide is hard to tackle without being sensationalist, but when your show uses it as a means

of revenge, you’re not giving yourself a good chance. While bullying is no doubt a contributing factor towards suicidal thoughts, it might not always be a direct cause like 13 Reasons Why makes it out to be. So instead of using the chance to discuss mental health, the show attributes Hannah’s fatal actions as being merely a tool for getting back at her peers. But here’s what I think: suicide is a terrible way people end their suffering with mental illness. It’s not about being adored and mourned by your high school, nor is it a twisted way of holding others accountable.

So what’s good about 13 Reasons Why, if anything? Well, sometimes the only way to break through the barriers of society and actually talk about an issue is for something to shock, and hurt a little too. Make no mistake, the ‘R’ rating New Zealand gave the programme is deserved for sure, but the way it illustrates how we offend others – deliberately or otherwise – is a reminder for all ages to be kind. Netflix released a statement to The Telegraph saying: “We’ve heard from our members that 13 Reasons Why has opened up a dialogue among parents, teens, schools and mental health advocates around the intense themes and difficult topics depicted in the show.” They justify the show by saying “entertainment has always been the ultimate connector” and hope that it serves as a catalyst for conversation.

Although a television show where the protagonist commits suicide could be an opportunity to examine the complexities of mental health through a pop culture medium, it seems the producers had other priorities in mind.

So has this been the case? So far some parents have already defended the show.

Dawn Zawadzki, a paralegal from the United States, said she watched part of the series with her 16-year-old daughter. “Everybody is saying ‘it glamorizes suicide,’ but I don’t think it does… It’s making us wake up and look at it.” In the U.S., some high schools have also reacted by ensuring that parents and students have resources to handle mental health struggles, and have sent out letters and links to thousands of middle schoolers, and asked parents to use the topic to start discussions with their teen.

Secondly, 13 Reasons Why is a show that undeniably gives parents and kids alike a reminder of how distressing the high school experience can be. It’s this authentic realism that truly makes Hannah’s silent struggle so haunting, because we’ve seen it. The kid who seems to get all of the shit, the one who gets talked about and shamed – because we’ve either been that kid, or gone along with the bullying because thank God it’s not us. Yet 13 Reasons Why’s brutal high school environment

doesn’t let us hide from the responsibility we have, showing us just how much our words and actions can impact others.

You even start to understand the inclusion of Hannah’s horrific suicide scene after hearing writer Nic Sheff discuss his motivations in Vanity Fair, revealing it was his own failed suicide attempt that made him want to break down misleading stereotypes. He said, “It seemed to me the perfect opportunity to show what an actual suicide really looks like.”

Sheff wanted to “dispel the myth of the quiet drifting off, and to make viewers face the reality of what happens.” Mo Ryan from Variety magazine agreed that 13 Reasons Why gave us the horrific truth, which was admittedly shocking and graphic, but something that touches the soul in a truly convicting way.

Like it or not, whether we watch this show or not, it’s happening – suicide is happening.

Creator of the series Brian Yorkey stated, “I understand it’s hard to watch. It was supposed to be hard to watch because these things are incredibly hard to endure and we wanted to

say, ‘These things are happening in kids’ lives.’”

Also Dr Helen Hsu, a clinical psychologist and the scriptwriter of the show, said ignoring Hannah’s suicide would be almost “coy and avoidant”. Because graphically detailed suicide guides are everywhere online. Dr Hsu added, “If you think your child can’t find this in one second on the internet already in the past 10 years, you are sadly mistaken.” Instead she wanted the script to focus on the ugly, painful and heartbreaking reality, not only for Hannah, but for those she left behind.

I wish this were a debate that could be summed up neatly or given one easily conclusive answer. However, its brilliance lies in its messy complexity – the way it makes us question our own morals and role as an audience. Maybe the influence of 13 Reasons Why ultimately lies in the way we, as audiences, react to it. Do we censor it? Hide it away from society? Or do we take this pop culture phenomenon as an opportunity to start discussions that matter with our friends and family? In my opinion, the show provides 13 reasons to do the latter.

If you or anyone you know is at risk, here is where you can find help.

City Campus: (09) 921 9992, South Campus: (09) 921 999, North Campus: (09) 921 9998, Urgent enquires: (09) 921 9999 ext 8888 Lifeline: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7), Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 (available 24/7), Depression helpline: 0800 111 757 (available 24/7)

9

From Refugee to Potential Green MP

By Grace Hood-Edwards “There is no shame in starting at the bottom.”

Golriz is talking about her law career, where she began as a “lowly” junior barrister and had to work her way up to the point she’s at now. But in some ways, although she may not say so herself, Golriz is fundamental proof of that very adage.

Born in Iran, she aims to be the first refugee to enter Parliament as a Green MP. Her family were forced to flee the Middle East in 1990, when Golriz was around nine-years-old. Since she lived there for nearly a decade, she has a pretty good recollection of what it was like. “I certainly remember the constant fear of things,” Golriz notes, “like phones being tapped, and people being arrested for playing certain music – or dancing at weddings.”

Golriz was born in the decade immediately following the Iranian Revolution, and the installation of Khomeini’s regime and the Islamic Republic of Iran. Khomeini’s leadership established a theocratic, repressive regime in Iran – one of the most repressive in the Islamic world to date. She remembers the war, a bloody and destabilising conflict between Saddam Hussein’s Iraq and Khomeini’s Iran. “We had constant bombing raids, or raid practice runs. It was terrifying.”

She wants us to know that there were positives of her life in Iran as well. In Western countries we’re presented one image of life in a Middle Eastern country, and often don’t consider the many facets of humanity that exist there, as they do everywhere. Golriz remembers the “warm, rich culture, which values things like poetry and music above almost all else.”

She states that Iranians are very politically

engaged, and that she remembers her parents reading many different news sources and listening to multiple different international radio news stations to stay informed.

Her father was an agricultural engineer and Shia Muslim, while her mother was a child psychologist and Kurdish Sunni Muslim. She says her parent’s decision to leave Iran was motivated by the attack on women’s rights under the Islamic regime in Iran. They were highly opposed to it, and escaped to raise Golriz in a more gender equal society. “Feminism in the Middle East seeks to address different problems and faces different patriarchal pressures than in the West,” Golriz points out. “In the Middle East, the patriarchy may force women to be shapeless, colourless and desexualised, which is the opposite of what women sometimes face in Western culture.”

After jumping from Malaysia to Fiji, her family was then granted political asylum in New Zealand. “I also remember vividly arriving in Auckland airport with my family, and being welcomed here, being accepted and finding safety.” Her parents opened a gift shop and restaurant in Mt. Eden, and were unable to continue the careers they had pursued back in Iran. As is the case for many refugees and immigrants in New Zealand, despite their previous training and ability, they were now poor.

Golriz says her experience as a child asylum seeker instilled in her a deep commitment to defending democratic institutions and the most vulnerable members of our community.

Her history also inspired her focus on child’s rights – a key issue that she would like to base her campaign around. She also hopes to see the United Nations’ Rights of The Child serve as mandatory consideration in all policy making. “This would include their rights to housing or a healthy environment for example, and need to be taken into account when setting the budget or cutting funding from any given policy area.”

If you examine Golriz’s path, it is clear that the pursuit of justice is her passion.

She graduated from Auckland University’s Law School, and went on to work as a human rights lawyer in New Zealand and overseas. She acted as a defence lawyer and prosecutor at the United Nations Criminal Tribunals for Rwanda and the former Yugoslavia. After graduating with a Masters in International Human Rights Law at Oxford University, she worked on the Khmer Rouge Tribunal in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. “We were working to end the culture of impunity and the cycle of violence,” Golriz says, “by laying blame on individual leaders, rather than groups continuing to blame each other based on religion, ethnicity or race.”

One of the most important things she

worked on in the UN, in her opinion, were strategies to increase access to justice for women in those contexts. She and her team ensured that crimes which disproportionately affect women were investigated and prosecuted. “Victims of violence against women and sexual violence were given a voice, and their stories were effectively captured by the historic record.”

This is true for Golriz, as though she’s now one of the leading faces of the ‘Green Team’, before she ran for the election she’s been active in the Green Party for five years – ever since her return from Cambodia in 2012. It has been witnessing the work of the current government first-hand that has inspired her to run for the 2017 elections.

“I would like to bring back substance to

Golriz says her experience as a child asylum seeker instilled in her a deep commitment to defending democratic institutions and the most vulnerable members of our community.

In regards to advice, Golriz clearly believes in real-world application and experience. Her studies at Oxford University in International Human Rights Law were designed for those already practicing in the field. While working on the Rwandan Tribunal, she was surrounded by people from around the world who were already working in “incredible human rights law roles.” Golriz affirms that she “learned just as much from conversations over drinks in those 14th century pubs as [she] did in lectures.”

She similarly believes that her practical experience and “learning how to stand up in court and enforce people’s rights” was “probably more useful” in her United Nations work than her Oxford degree. Golriz says that students aspiring to activism or politics are likely idealistic and have a specific and set way they want to change the world. “My advice would be to focus more on learning to be effective, than being at the very centre of a movement or the face of a campaign straight away.”

politics,” Golriz says. “I would like NZ to stand as a counterpoint to populism, which I see as the movement toward personality politics – the politics of division and fear.” She is also against the government’s trademark trend of “dumbing down and completely obscuring information.” And she’s concerned about the “alarming willingness of the current government to dispense with fundamental rights and democratic processes.”

“Legislation that allows discrimination of family carers of disabled persons was passed under urgency, local democracy was suspended in Canterbury, and our child poverty stats became an issue repeatedly raised by the United Nations.”

She would like to use her decade’s worth of legal experience in human rights and constitutional law to strengthen and secure our democratic processes. In the global political turmoil of the recent months, with Donald Trump, Brexit and the popularity of Le Pen, Golriz believes it is even more important for minority voices to be heard.

“I wanted to show that our diversity is our strength. My running as a candidate would be an affirmation of New Zealand as a place where a nine-year-old refugee escaping persecution and war in the Middle East can one day enter Parliament. That seemed particularly important at this moment in global politics.”

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B R OKE

B U T S T I L L WA NT TO HIT THE SLOPES?

By Laine Yeager | Illustration by Dayna Patel

The chilly season is well and truly upon us. Snowfall has already hit the tip of the mountains, teasing us with an early taste of champagne powder.

Trips to the snow can be expensive, even if it’s only for a weekend. Us uni students can’t afford to rent hotel rooms or book baches on our poor Studylink budgets. Maybe some rich snakes can, and if you can then this article probably isn’t the best read for you, because I’m going to talk about tips and tricks on how to rough it on a budget this snow season.

SAV I N G M O N E Y

SNOW GEAR

When I know that I’ll be visiting the mountain each year, I start saving a few months before the mountain opens. It’s a bit premature maybe, but when your poor broke ass wants a little adventure, you gotta do what you gotta do.

If you don’t have much ski or snow gear – or none at all – don’t hesitate to contact people you know. Ask to borrow their gear, maybe in return for a cheeky box of Double Browns or a future shout of Burger King. This can really save you some dollars. Renting is expensive, especially at the mountain. But if you need to, research rental companies in Auckland or surrounding suburbs – they offer much cheaper prices. Before I owned my own gear, I would visit Snow Centre in Newmarket. They have good deals on boards, skis and boots.

Putting around $20-$30 away each week (which is actually hard as a student, I know) can set you up and leave you with less stress when the opening date nears. Passes to the mountain are hella expensive: a one day pass for over 18-year-olds is $90! When my mum was in her 20s it was only $35! Although that was like, the olden days or something. Anyway, if you’re planning to go to the snow more than a couple of times in the season, your best bet is to buy a three to five day flexi pass. You can use it over various weekends, not over consecutive days.

MA K E I T A G RO U P T RI P

AC C OMMODATI ON

Split costs between you and your mates – the more the merrier, and the cheaper the gas, too. Gather your friends and bundle in with whoever raises their hand to offer their car. Share the costs of food and accommodation too and you will all save money. One way to do this is to organise a group grocery shop before you leave – chances are the shops before and around the mountain have raised their prices for the season.

Again, accommodation around the mountain is expensive. But if you’re not the outdoorsy type and don’t want to rough it outside in the bitter cold (which is totally fair enough) consider putting away more than $30 when you’re saving, that way you can spend a little more and book a hostel. Previous trips I’ve taken to the mountain involved sleeping in my car and sleeping in the back of a van with two others at a campsite on the road up to the mountain. For $2 it was a small price to pay and there was even a toilet! If you’re super brave you can also pitch a tent, but be aware that the outside of the tent will most likely freeze overnight and you may just wake up with a second blanket of ice, so make sure you’re super rugged up!

If you’re with a group of your mates it is totally okay to spoon one another, it is the season for it, after all.

13

Female surfers rip up waves and stereotypes

By Laine Yeager | Illustration by Hope McConnell “If you look at the media coverage and surfing magazines, the one thing that really stands out is how hard it is to find a photo of a girl in a magazine unless it’s an ad. It’s kind of strange, still to this day.” – Lisa Anderson, pro surfer.

Well, Lisa, I could not agree with you more. It’s funny, I am only a very amateur surfer, but what Lisa said sparked a fire in my belly – a fire that has been burning for a long time. For me, it started when I felt too uncomfortable to be out the back with a big group of guys. The ocean is a male-dominated place, and I found it intimidating. So when I was given the opportunity to base an assignment around this issue, I went fullsteam ahead.

I chose to look at women’s surfing magazines, because well, have you ever seen one before? Maybe you have, but I’m yet to discover one. What I do know is when I read surfing magazines, the only women I see are spread across a page half naked. The model may be a surfer as well, but should that be how we portray female surfers? Just in bikinis? With no images of them shredding or paragraphs on their recent travels and experiences? I don’t think so.

If you were to base your understanding of surfing on who you see in the media, you’d get the impression that the sport is reserved for men only. I just want to tell you that those magazines are all lying to you – a lie that the editors, writers and photographers know is false, but continue to perpetuate.

Fourteen-year-old female surfer Soah Franklin admitted while being interviewed that she has noticed a problem with mainstream surfing magazines and doesn’t like the fact that she rarely sees images of female surfers. She expressed that, “It makes me annoyed and frustrated, because although there are more men than women in the surfing world, the magazines make it feel like they are not there at all, or are not worth being featured.”

15

My argument is: why can’t female surfers be seen through the same lens as males? We are just as good, if not better, aren’t we? But firstly, we need to face some facts. Surfing is a heavily male-oriented sport, and as pro-surfer Sally Fitzgibbons puts it, “Everyone sort of knew me as the annoying little sister.” Which is something we need to combat – we are not the ‘little sister’ out in the water, we are damn fine surfers who can rip just as good as you can.

According to Matt Warshaw from The New York Times, a 2008 study estimated that there are about five million people in the world who surf, and of that 10 to 15 percent are women. That’s a hella low percentage, and something we need to change. What is it that we are scared of?

Sharks? Well, in 2015, Stuff.co.nz released an article called ‘Sharks pretty much only bite men’. So good news ladies, we’re probably not going to get bitten by a shark. With respect and the exception of Bethany Hamilton, nearly every single person who has ever been bitten by a shark has been male. This may be because more men go in the water, but still, let’s dip our toes in the cold water: the odds are forever in our favour.

From a young age, pro-surfer Layne Beachley has always been one of my idols. Beachley called male surfer Andy Irons out after he attacked her in the press. He openly expressed his worry that his masculinity would be on the line if she beat him in the 2005 Australian Open. After this comment, the media was in an uproar, leading publications to print headlines reading ‘Is Layne taking the spot of a more deserving male surfer?’ What! Does that not rile you up? So what if Beachley surfed better? To this statement Beachley replied, “The guys don’t like to be threatened by a girl.” Too right my friend, too right you are. Male surfers should focus on being at the top of their game, then maybe they

wouldn’t need to worry about being beaten by anyone, male or female.

But, not all male surfers are at fault. During my research last year, I interviewed seven men about their views on female surfers. Honestly, I expected them to bag on us a little, but to my surprise, they had nothing but good things to say. Some of the answers are as follows: “Girls are out there shredding, with more confidence than ever. I was recently out surfing and Stephanie Gilmore, a six time world champ, was out there surfing better than most guys. It was amazing to see. Women’s surfing in general is improving fast and they are keeping the guys on their toes.” – Dune Kennings, Billabong Grom Series champion “Women surfers are now preforming at an elite level and are pushing the limits that were unheard of five years ago. Women are now winning international titles and getting New Zealand’s name out in the bigger surfing world.” – Matt Lane, photographer Female surfers need to be given more credit. We don’t want to be the little sisters in the water, we don’t want to be told that we threaten men’s masculinity. We deserve to be treated better, and we deserve our own publications, where men are the ones who get a topless one-page advert.

We may never be as physically strong as men, but our power-to-weight ratio can be better, making us nearly on par with the blokes. The further we get away from the ongoing compatisons of men and women, the more we will begin to appreciate the elements of femininity and masculinity within each of their own beings, and that’s when we will really be able to enjoy the value of the sport.

Imperfect, But Not Broken

By Grace Stratton I’m a disabled teenager living in arguably one of the most eroticised generations of all time. And yet despite the prevalence of sexuality in both conversation and society, I almost never hear these topics in relation to people like me.

Sometimes I feel like nobody likes my body and because of that it feels wrong for me to like it myself, which I do. In my 18 years of life, I have been looked at by others as an object of inspiration, a friend, academic successor, business woman and writer, but I have never been looked at as a woman. This might not be purely due to the fact that my legs don’t work, but also that when I growing up, the only conversations I saw about sexuality and disability occurred within the constraints of the disability community or within the plot lines of narrative cinema.

This isn’t good enough anymore – let’s have a conversation.

A couple of years ago, I was out and someone caught my eye. He later came up to me and I thought “Oh this is cool he wants to have a chat”. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t planning our wedding or anything, but I enjoyed the concept of someone coming and chatting to me. Turns out he didn’t want to find out what my favourite colour was. No, he came up to me and asked if he could heal me. At the time I was young and I felt a little trapped, so I said a flustered “y-yes.”

I look back at that time and I am so angry. Not with the guy, because I respect his views, even though I don’t agree with

them. I’m more angry with myself, because in that space and time I validated his mindset that I was broken and needed him to fix me, when in reality, I may be imperfect, but I am not broken.

Our generation has a problem. We’re engrossed in perfect sexualised imagery being sold by movies, television and other industries, and as a result, we forget that this imagery is fabricated with the sheer intent of income.

In my life I have seen the inside of many operating theatres, hospital wards and physiotherapy rooms. It was in these spaces that I learned: every human is imperfect, and every man and woman has an aspect of their physical selves which they dislike.

I learned at a young age that we cannot set perfection as an expectation and instead we all need to remember that no human being is perfect or broken because they imperfect. Your attractiveness as a woman/man does not lessen because of your imperfections.

A friend of mine, Adam Bryce is a fashion photographer. I recently looked at his portfolio and in doing so I saw an array of people photographed they were all beautiful yet all different.

I have realised that it isn’t about believing other people will find me attractive. It is about first believing that I am attractive and as beautiful as I am. Sexuality starts with you. You’re free to define it and act upon it how you choose.

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Win Tickets to RL Grime!

If you didn’t get the chance to catch this guy at Coachella, Lollapalooza or Splendour In The Grass, don’t sweat: we’ve got you covered. This issue Debate is giving away one double pass to RL Grime’s Auckland show, happening Wednesday 19 July at the Logan Campbell Centre. It’s going to be a huge night for the electronic music scene, and something you probably won’t want to miss. To win this epic prize, Facebook message us your name, campus, and one sentence about why you want these tickets.

Debate Magazine (/ausmdebate)

Feel the Aroma Having one of those days where you need to light a couple candles, sit in a bath, and let sweet fragrances lull you into a daze? Us too. That’s why we’re giving away five sets of two Bahoma candles in various smells. To win, Facebook message the Debate page your name, campus, and a memory of yours that was made 100 times better by candles being there.

Want Two Tickets to Stormzy?

This issue Debate is also giving away one double pass to Stormzy! The tickets are for his Auckland show, happening August 1 at the Logan Campbell Centre. Stormzy won the Best Male & Best Grime from the UK MOBO Awards, Best International Artist at the BET Awards, and he’s just an all round badass. So to win this dope prize, Facebook message us your name, campus, and your best attempt at a rap.

Photos to Die For The World Press Exhibition showcases some the most moving photos of our generation. There you will have your heart broken repeatedly by intimate snapshots of refugees in crisis, terror situations, and other moments that sum up human nature and the human experience.

Debate is giving away two double passes to this enlightening show, which will be held at Smith and Caughey’s in the city from the 1st to the 30th of July (but these passes will only get you in on weekdays).

To win, Facebook message us your name, campus, and attach a moving photo you have taken.

Francis Pérez, ‘Caretta Caretta Trapped’

Uptown Bounce You Up! Do you love to bounce? Even more so in public, surrounded by talented little kids doing flips around you? Same here, which is why Debate is giving away two two-for-one passes to Uptown Bounce. These vouchers are valid Monday to Thursday from 3pm, and not during school holidays, kiddies!

To win, Facebook message us your name, campus, and your favourite bounce-related pun.

Aotea Ice Rink Do you love ice skating outside in the middle of a nonsnowy city? Or wrapping yourself up in scarves and gloves and pretending you’re Canadian? Well this June/July all your winter wonderland fantasies can come true, as the Aotea Square Ice Rink is giving us one double pass to handout. To win, Facebook message Debate your name, campus, and your most desired winter wonderland fantasy.

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D AV I D D

Shawn Cleaver yarns with David Dallas about his passion to help young Kiwis, dislike for dollar $igns in names, and what it was like to cruise with Eminem’s squad in his beat-up Mazda.

DALLAS As I sat in the reception of my office waiting for David Dallas to call, I was thinking of ways to make sure the interview wouldn’t be boring. After being put through to him via his people 20 minutes late, I apologised on behalf of all involved for the lateness.

“It was supposed to earlier?” he said. His chillness was on show from the beginning.

However, after I fired my first question he responded with the dreaded: “Well I get asked that a lot...” That was it. He knew, I knew, that a stale and predictable chat was about to take place.

The question in question was actually about his success. “Now that you’re successful, would you say it’s harder than you thought to get anywhere in music?” In a few more words he said, “Make sure you love it, or you’re wasting everybody’s time.” So my attempt to harvest some inspirational quotes from him for our budding musician readers was met with tough love.

I reverted to plan B, which was just to talk about hip-hop from rap fan to rap fan. This is where he really surprised me.

“Chance the Rapper? Not a big fan.”

“Really?”

“I mean, I understand it’s good, but just not what I’d bump.”

This is part of why David Dallas is one of New Zealand’s top hip-hop artists: you’ll never catch him faking anything. His words, both in the interview and on the album,

are bluntly him. Since he is both down to earth and relatable, you almost assume he will also be agreeable, but he’s far from it.

Everything thrown at him he takes at face value, and he responds without any BS. In his own words, when talking about his new album Hood Country Club, he mentions he “didn’t say stuff for the sake of it. It’s very dense; lots of thought went into it. I really laboured over the lyrics.” Once again he differed from the cliché, and instead of the whole “I hope people like it” spiel, he said, “I just want people to listen to it, and draw their own conclusions. If you don’t agree, all good you don’t have to.”

Proudly from Papatoetoe, David has extended his reach to up-and-coming Kiwi artists with his project 64 Bars. Hosted by Red Bull Studios, this internet video series was designed “to create a platform within New Zealand. It started with just some guys we knew, to showcase their talent. Now I get DMs – everybody wanting to get on it.”

hop artists] but I know how hard it is to have a career in this industry.”

It’s quite a career David has already had, including a performance at the biggest rap show New Zealand has ever seen: 2014’s Rapture, headlined by Eminem at a capacity Western Springs. “It was a trip…” When I asked for a summary of the experience, he said, “You never imagine anything on that scale. I mean, I was fucking with the Marshall Mathers’ LP in our old Mazda.”

But the really juicy part was the backstage experience: “We were really well looked after – the catering, security, everything. But 15 minutes before Em came on, backstage was in total lockdown. He had like, secret police, like the FBI you know, all blocking off everything.”

“No way? You didn’t meet him?”

“Including that guy who spells his name with a dollar sign?” I asked.

“Nah man. They even had blacked out fencing for where he was going to walk from the car to the stage, it was crazy. Everything was mapped out. And same again about 15 before his set finished, locked off again.”

(In my pre-interview research I saw a new rapper called KID$EB have a go at 64 bars, but I forgot his name during the interview…)

David mentioned, “Yeah – that ‘$’ spelling is cool now, it’s going to go out of fashion real quick though.” His desire to give to young

Yarning to David about this buzzy experience was so effortless, I had totally forgotten about whatever interview anxieties I had during the first two questions. It all came out in the wash: David Dallas is like that old mate you went to

hip-hop artists in New Zealand is so strong, he even extends fatherly advice on choosing a stage-name with longevity.

school with years ago, except he can spit 64 bars like nobody’s business.

His album ‘Hood Country Club’ is out now.

“There is definitely room for more [NZ hip-

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HATING MILLENNIALS I S T H I S T H E WAY F O R WA R D ?

By Jodealyn Cadacio We’ve been told that we spend more time hooked to our digital devices than we spend sleeping. We don’t know what university life is like without the help of Mr Google, or what it truly means to sacrifice our resources for our loved ones. Demographically, we tend to dominate today’s job market and are constantly reshaping the workplace, but in terms of economic and financial security, we are worse than other previous generations.

Unappreciative, lazy, narcissistic and cry-babies – yes, we’ve all heard them before – all the revolting words Baby Boomers use to describe this selfietaking generation.

But is lambasting a whole generation the best way forward? And why do Baby Boomers hate us Millennials?

First of all, the word ‘millennial’ is widely debated. It is such a broad term that it can actually refer to someone as young as 18 and as old as 34, both of whom are indisputably living at different life stages. Secondly, the world is forever changing, especially with the advent of technology and new media: it is simply different compared to ten, twenty years ago. To better understand this intergenerational debate, it is important to consider the settings these two generations were raised in and the influences that helped shape the current world.

Baby Boomers, people born between 1946 till the late ‘70s, swallowed in great abundance the benefits of a booming economy and a job market that was sustainable for all. They lived in the shadows of the Second World War and thus, with a new economic system in place, people held a sense of prerogative about how beautiful the new systems in society were. They lived on the dream that through hard work, anything is achievable. They graduated from school, found their dream jobs, bought grand houses with white-picket fences, and began to live the lives they’d always wanted to lead.

Fast forward 40-50 years later and the picture has changed drastically; individual entitlement is still present, but a university degree is no longer synonymous to a one-way ticket to paradise (though with an insane amount of luck, you could still land your dream job straight away). But for most, this is the reality. Oftentimes, people postpone work to remain in universities in order to make themselves more marketable in the future. And yes, people are wired to their devices and face-to-face communication is becoming scarce; men with man buns and girls with ripped jeans and Nike Roshe shoes instagramming their Pumpkin Spice Latte.

Job markets are increasingly becoming competitive and employers are now constantly seeking candidates with the ability to speak five different languages, 30 years of experience on war reporting, the ability to swallow solid objects in their path at super-speed – the list never ends. One recent university graduate blames it all on technology. Although an active social media user, she said that the easy access of information is what makes it tough for someone to stand out in an enlarged and economically active job market. “It’s easy to find a job and easily connect with the companies you’d like to work for but it’s harder to actually get it because it’s accessible to anyone who has internet, thereby increasing competition,” said Eleah Ramos, 22, who graduated from AUT’s Bachelor of Communications Studies, majoring in Creative Industries.

Similarly, a group of AUT third year law students said there is simply too much competition among their fellow classmates. “It’s hard to find a career-related job especially when you consider how many other students are doing the same degree as you,” one student said. “We really don’t need one thousand lawyers; the demand doesn’t work like that for a specific job.” Indeed, around 43,000 university students graduate each year in New Zealand and this figure is likely to increase in the coming future. In short, today’s world is an economic jungle with an ever-burgeoning population and scarce resources.

Should we blame technology and the expansion of university education for making us a cohort of unappreciative cry-babies? Or do Baby Boomers just hate lazy people in general and the idea of change?

Maybe it’s a mixture of all factors. But let’s not forget about the innumerable benefits technology brings to our society – I wouldn’t have been able to write this piece without the help of my laptop. Let’s also not forget about the diligent bunch of people who really work their fingers to the bone. But in my opinion, it isn’t right to start pointing fingers, as it will only expand this ever-widening gap between the two generations. However, what Baby Boomers often overlook is the fact that we are the generation that shoulders the heaviest encumbrance of current economic changes, refugee crises, world poverty and climate change – not to mention recent terrorist attacks. Boomers also forget the fact that they were the generation before Generation X, Y and us, Millennials. We look up to them so, ultimately, they are the ones who taught us the things we are doing today – at least that’s what I’ve come to believe.

All I can say is that Millennials are the future of this world and we will never be here again. So everyone ought to stop hating on this most discussed age group.

The best way forward is to unite, and not let this generational war hinder us from achieving our dreams.

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Is Identity More Important

Than Policy in Modern Politics?

By James Howe When Labour candidate Rohan Lord announced that he was withdrawing from the 2017 race because he is a “white, middle-class man” who in his view had no future in the party, the issue of identity politics rose again in New Zealand.

In May, the Labour Party released its candidate list for the 2017 General Election, with party president Nigel Haworth stating, “I am excited that Labour will take into the General Election a strong caucus supported by a fresh team of candidates who reflect New Zealand’s diversity.” However, Lord, a first time candidate, was placed low on the list at 72, which he believes is because Labour wants to focus on a fairer representation of women, Māori and minorities. So is Lord’s view misguided? Was he simply a less qualified candidate, or does his argument have any merit?

as it was Lord’s first run for Parliament, a low placing on the list in a unwinnable seat was to be expected, and dismissed Lord’s comment about his position on the list being related to his white middle-class male status.

While some argue a candidate’s identity is central to their perspectives and the forming of their world view, others believe that candidates and parties play up identity as a means of influencing voters and gathering support from their community.

These questions are a lot harder to answer than they appear.

A major issue created by this is the overemphasis of an individual’s cultural background, which can take away from their policies and competency. When the NZ Green Party announced its list for the 2017 election, Golriz Ghahraman, a human rights lawyer, former United Nations prosecutor, and Oxford graduate was ranked highly at number 10 on the list. However, she has been promoted in many media reports as simply an ‘Iranian Refugee’ with several headlines highlighting that she would be New Zealand’s first refugee Member of Parliament.

In an interview with Radio New Zealand, Labour leader Andrew Little stated that: “We [Labour] had to increase our representation of women. We had to increase our representation of ethnic communities, because we pretty much had none and we’ve increased our representation of Māori.” Little’s words have led people to question whether Labour values competency and experience, or uses the candidates to play ‘identity politics’ – a term used to describe a style of politics that puts focus and importance on a candidate’s race, religion, sexuality or gender. Addressing Lord’s statements, Little stated that

Ghahraman, in an interview with the New Zealand Herald, stated that electing her would send a strong message, particularly after the election of Donald Trump and the Brexit result. “To say that someone fleeing that part of the world could actually be so accepted, that she could take part in a democratic society, would be really meaningful.” Yet despite her impressive list of accomplishments, the focus was turned onto who she was, not on what she had achieved, and why that made her a good or bad candidate for the Greens. That focus, I believe, is misguided.

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This fixation with labelling people even extends to Donald Trump, who has been satirically called ‘the first orange president’.

The use of identity politics in campaigns is not a new phenomenon, but has come to the forefront worldwide in recent years, particularly with major events in the United States, such as Barack Obama’s election as the first African-American president and Hillary Clinton’s attempt to be the first woman president. In the United Kingdom, Sadiq Khan became the first Muslim mayor of London in 2016, with many international headlines highlighting his faith and the fact that he is the first Muslim to be mayor of a major Western capital. While some of these candidates did not seek to make their individual identity a key factor of their campaign, the media’s obsession made it a major talking point. This fixation with labelling people even extends to Donald Trump, who has been satirically called ‘the first orange president’.

Although people’s diverse identities may seem important when voting, once these officials are inaugurated they must be capable of governing well, a skill that has little or nothing to do with skin colour, gender, sexuality or religion.

The 2016 election commentators in the United States have frequently discussed the

reason as to why Hillary Clinton lost what many called an ‘unlosable election’. Some cite the fact that her campaign unashamedly used identity politics throughout, from the campaign slogan ‘I’m With Her’ to Clinton’s claim that America had to break the so called ‘glass ceiling’ by electing a woman (her) as president. After losing, Clinton blamed misogyny as the reason for her failure, which critics have derided as a way of deflecting blame from her and her policies onto the people who voted against her.

While some interpret Clinton’s and Ghahraman’s statements as being progressive and leading the way to a more representative style of governing, the subtexts of these statements can also imply that if a person of a certain identity is not elected, that means society has rejected them because of it, rather than simply voting for a preferred policy or candidate.

Media personalities, on both the left and right, have stated that Democrats must move away from identity politics in 2020 if they want to win the election. Comedian and political commentator Bill Maher, who himself is a Democrat, commented in an interview with CNN that Democrats need to “ease up on

the identity politics” if they want to appeal to more voters.

The use of identity politics is not exclusive to the left, though. Many conservative politicians talk at length about their religion and its importance in their life. This is an obvious play to the religious base, who make up a large voter demographic, particularly in the United States. In the 2016 election, Donald Trump and Mike Pence expressed how much their faith meant to them, with Pence often stating that he is “a Christian, a conservative and a Republican – in that order”. Trump even started saying that his own book The Art of the Deal is his second favourite book, only after the Bible. Conservatives are often guilty of fearmongering by framing their argument in a way that says if they are not elected, liberal policies will attack their religious beliefs.

In New Zealand we have not yet reached the level of these examples overseas, but with the election season rapidly approaching, it will be interesting to see how each party values their candidates and presents their arguments. Will they field an experienced team of qualified people who focus on the issues facing our country? Or will the party lists become platforms for identity politics?

Editors note: read Grace Hood-Edwards’ intervew with Golriz Ghahranam on page 10 for a different perspective. This is Debate magazine after all!

BANANAS ABOUT BANANAS

By Bridie Chetwin-Kelly New Zealanders loves bananas. No, we really love bananas.

According to Fairtrade New Zealand, in a year we eat up to 90,000 tonnes of them! That’s over 20kgs per person. Also according to Fairtrade, 40 percent of worldwide banana

struggling farms, helps improve the poor work conditions, and gives workers a fair income. At present only one out of 14 New Zealand bananas are fair trade, even though we are currently getting nearly all our bananas produced from small farms.

production is made through large plantations owned by huge global fruit companies. The other 60 percent is grown by small independent producers who are currently struggling to meet costs. It’s getting harder to keep their farms running, and even more so to look after their workers and the conditions they work in.

AUT’s environmental group, Sustainable Aotearoa, is trying to educate people about where our bananas come from. At clubs day on campus they played a true or false game which asked people to really think about what they consumed. Each correct answer got them an entry to win a free Fairtrade banana breakfast at Scarecrow.

So what is the real cost of a banana? If we break it down, 40 percent of the cost goes straight back into the hands of the supermarket retailer. All the way down the other end of the spectrum are the producers’ and workers’ wages, equating to just 18 percent of the cost of the banana.

Currently there are over 2,700 events taking place across the world in support of this fruity movement. AUT is doing its bit and currently only buys Fairtrade coffee on campus.

Gabrielle Message of the Sustainable Aotearoa group said, “It’s about convincing students to spend that little extra time at the supermarket when buying produce.” So next time you go bananas for bananas at the supermarket, have a look for the Fairtrade approved sticker.

Trade Aid is currently trying to educate people about what they are buying and are encouraging us to buy fair trade bananas. By buying fair trade, it supports the small

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COMEDY F E S T YAY OR NAY?

With the comedy festival over for another year, Ethan Sills reflects on what this year had to offer.

We get a lot of festivals in Auckland. Every week it feels like there are at least two fighting each other for the spotlight: food, theatre, movies, music, books, film, dance, busking, boats, cars, weddings, technology, weed killer – you name it. And there’s probably a three day spectacular for it at the ASB Showgrounds next week.

shows cover similar themes, whether it is gay sex or feminism, no two comedians are ever the same.

Yet with 52 weeks of the year loaded with things to do, the highlight for me is always the comedy festival. There is something magically unique about comedy shows. You enter a room, and for the next hour you and your fellow audience members are at the mercy of the performer putting their talent on the line for you. It’s intimate, it’s entertaining, and it’s a one-off experience only those few dozen of you will get to experience. Jokes going wrong, new ones being born in the moment, hecklers butting in; anything can happen across those sixty minutes, and you don’t get that anywhere else.

While I have always been a stand-up fan and been to a variety of shows over the years, last year was the first comedy fest where I went to more than one show, and it was an eye-opening experience to say the least. So much of our perception of New Zealand comedy comes from the small pool of talent that is allowed to make it on TV. 7 Days last year was Three’s most watched local show, thereby making it the country’s biggest comedy show. Watching Paul Ego and Dai Henwood facing off each week is regularly enjoyable, but the type of comedy that makes that show work is a poor reflection of the diversity of talent and skills out in the industry. Not to say anything bad about the regulars there, but when most people’s idea of ‘far out’ comedy is Dai going on a confused, drawn-out rant, it leaves a lot to be desired.

Last month saw the 2017 International Comedy Festival hit Auckland. For three weeks, the major theatres in the CBD played host to all manner of comedians from here and around the world. Much like the many other festivals fighting for attention, the highlight of the festival is the variety on display. Even when

For this year’s festival, it seemed the organisers clearly tried harder than ever for a varied, unique line up. The ratios between gender and race may not be equal yet, but it certainly was a better reflection than most 7 Day’s panels, and the diversity in performers and content made these three weeks fly by.

The ratios between gender and race may not be

equal yet, but it certainly was a better reflection than most 7 Day’s panels.

A trend I noticed last year, particularly among younger local comedians, was the prominence of sketch comedy in their sets. It was the thing that all the cool kids seemed to be doing: quirky, high concept shows that relied on intricate sets, surprise cameos, and innumerable visual aids.

While it worked for many of them, after seeing show after show with every doing things differently, it became tiresome and repetitive.

This year, the majority were traditional stand-up routines, and I loved every minute of it. The sketch stuff can be good, but the majority of these comedians excel when they are letting their charisma and their jokes do the talking, rather than throwing their energy into epic productions. I wasn’t sure what to make of Eli Matthewson’s internet-themed show last year, with the skits a bit hit-and-miss, but was blown away by his highly topical and poignant set this year, The Year of Magical Fucking, tackling all manner of LGBT themes and personal stories.

That is not to say that there is something wrong with sketch comedy. I deeply regret not being able to make it to the Laura Daniel/Joseph Moore double act Two Hearts, a musical parody extravaganza that sounds amazing. Yet some of the best shows I saw this year worked by fully embracing the theatrical side of their comedy.

There was no better example of this than Brynley Stent’s one-woman show, Escape from Gloriavale. I stepped into the cellar at Q Theatre – a slightly stylish basement jutting off from a car park – with

trepidation. On paper, the concept seemed like a one-note idea that wouldn’t fill a whole hour. Yet she put her character, Providence Gratitude, through a lot, and never once did the show lose steam. It was definitely more theatre than stand-up, but a great example of how open the parameters are at this festival.

One topic that always shows its head whenever the comedy fest comes to town is female comedians. Every year, some promoters or publicists or generally unfunny media types obsess over the fact that women can be funny as well, as though decades of Joan Rivers stand up and innumerable sitcoms like Absolutely Fabulous just passed New Zealand by. If there was anything this festival managed to achieve, it was surely putting the shock angle of that story to rest once and for all and fully embracing the hilarity of our female comedians.

Rose Matafeo returned from overseas with Sassy Best Friend, a relatable and hilarious story for any Millennial out there that worked in some untraditional gags, which made for a relentlessly funny hour.

She went on to win the Fred Award for Best Show, one of four top comedy awards claimed by women this year. Angella Dravid, best known for her awkward live crosses on Jono and Ben, won the Billy T Award for her show, another one I sadly missed out on, but she is a talent that definitely deserves her burgeoning attention.

One comedienne who I think doesn’t get the credit she deserves is Alice Brine. She was frankly robbed of the Billy T last year

for Brinestorm, easily the funniest, sidesplittingest hour of comedy I experienced last year, and she took her slightly edgy style to new heights this year in Nobody Puts Briney in a Corner. My jaw hurt from laughing so much at her feminism-themed set, and I hope that she is able to win all the awards in the future, though her comedy is doing pretty well without them.

Now that the ‘funny women’ angle is done and dusted, maybe next year we can see a spotlight shine on the many talented gay performers who made their mark.

Joel Creasey and Rhys Nicholson from Australia returned this year and both had their audiences in the palms of their hands. Creasey, for one, has ensured I will never think of Terri Irwin again without laughing, while Nicholson worked the room like no one else: a sharp wit destined for great things. Playwright duo Parker and Sainsbury returned to the Basement with Docing, the latest in their comedy plays that takes outrageous characters and throws them into even more outrageous situations.

The two are comedy gold on their own and make magic every time they work together, and are well worth seeing if you haven’t had the luxury.

It can be tiring spending every night attending multiple shows (first world problems, I know), but the comedy fest is probably the only festival in Auckland where you are absolutely always guaranteed a good time. This year had a spectacular line up fill of truly talented, genuinely hilarious people, and my only disappointment is that it’s not May again already.

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No-Bake Oreo Balls Too lazy to figure out the ‘bake’ function on your oven? Or are you an Aucklander without a house, so you don’t actually own an oven? Unlike your last lecture, pay attention and you’ll turn Oreos into classy bliss-balls of gooey yumness.

Shawn Cleaver walks us through the process.

Ingredients • • • •

2 Packs of Oreo cookies (1 if you’re a bitch) 113 grams of cream cheese Baking paper 1 big block of white chocolate

Method 1. Break all the Oreos into crumbs. I suggest putting them in a bag and grinding them up with something like a brick, or you could just run it straight. (Maybe even a food processor too.)

2. No idea why it’s so specific but 113 grams is what the guy said, so 113 grams of cream cheese is to be added to the Oreo crumbs. Make sure it’s at room temp so it’s easier to work with. (Beware – it goes off quickly once out of the fridge, so don’t leave it like overnight or anything.)

3. Mix it together until you get a semi-smooth sandy mixture. An electric mixer will work after it has been combined with a wooden spoon for a little bit.

4. Once mixed, grab a heaping teaspoon full and roll it into a ball with your hands. Repeat for how ever many balls you want.

5. Whack them all onto a baking tray lined with baking paper, and send them to the freezer for 15 minutes to set.

6. While those little plops of scrumptiousness are setting, prepare the chocolate. Break the chocolate up, and slowly melt it over some boiling water steam. Microwave it if you’re lazy, just watch so it doesn’t splat everywhere.

7. Eventually your balls will be frozen-ish and now you put a toothpick in them, and dip them into the melted chocolate. Shit’s getting real at this point.

8. Put them back on the baking paper. Sprinkle them with Oreo crumbs like you’re Salt Bae to get a higher mark for presentation from the judges. Then just wait for them to set, and you have these impressive little truffle cakes that have literally three ingredients. How’s that for 80/20-ing your life eh?

Image from www.savormania.com/oreo-white-chocolate-truffles/

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Reviews

SWAB HOOM I: BO R ROW ED E ART H

K I N G A RTH U R: L EGEN D OF TH E SWO RD

The atre

Film

Reviewed by Simran Singh

Reviewed by Ethan Sills

Swabhoomi: Borrowed Earth beautifully condensed twenty decades of Indian-Kiwi civilization into two captivating hours. The play opened with a classic Indian melancholy song, which instantly eased me into the atmosphere. Then the main character, played by Ram Manthry, was shown on a New Zealand-bound ‘boat’ in the Pacific Ocean in 1810.

The boat was portrayed using nothing but sounds of splashing water, preparing you for the extent of simplicity to expect.

There are a few classics that Hollywood loves to turn back to in times of hardship. In a time when sequels, reboots and remakes are utterly unavoidable, the big studios are now starting to mine the back catalogues of public domain stories to find movies that people loved decades ago, hoping that love is still there.

The play’s sounds were very prominent without being a cacophony.

The chirp of an anonymous native bird was a major motif throughout the play, linking one act to the next. The use of symbolism was evident without too many props and fuss – merely some piles of soil and wooden chairs. The soil was representative of the various areas mentioned throughout, such as Otago, Pukekohe, Wellington, and Auckland, and how each person ‘contributed’ to these lands.

This contribution was shown through some literal symbolism when Kanji, the first Indian to arrive in New Zealand, walks on stage with a suitcase, kneels to the ground and opens his suitcase to reveal some soil he had brought, presumably from India. He devotedly pours this soil onto the existing pile on stage. This scene was extremely touching and also my personal favorite. Kanji, played by Mustafa Missouri, had a spark in his eyes that bore right through my soul, captivating me so that I refused to blink in fear of missing out on the magic.

A passion for acting shone through every character’s eyes. The crew was also well cast age-wise, as there were both young and middle-aged actors, giving it a broader spectrum and making it more engaging. Among serious topics, like the Indian men New Zealand lost in World War II and the apprehension of the existing settlers towards the early Indian settlers, there were also streaks of humor blended throughout.

Swabhoomi and its super talented crew won the entire audience’s heart, which was evident from the resonance of applaud that rung through the theatre as the proud team took a bow.

King Arthur is one such story; a man turned into legend, with so many parts of his story familiar to pretty much anyone: the wizard tutor, the sword, the lady in the lake. It is so well known it is a surprise it took so long for a modern, CGI-infested remake to hit the screens – unfortunately, they probably should have taken longer to put it together properly.

The disappointing part of this is that the pieces are all there for a fairly decent blockbuster. Charlie Hunnam and Jude Law turn in fine performances as Arthur and the villainous Vortigern respectively, with the two providing some great chemistry as they chase each other throughout medieval England. The special effects are entrancing and there are some great set pieces that make it nearly worthwhile.

Yet then the leads are bogged down with an army of supporting characters who all talk like each other with stupid, forgettable names to hide their real identities for a predictable ending, while the more questionable directorial choices from Guy Ritchie may distract from the entertainment of the chases and battles.

If anything, the biggest crime here is the strange, meandering editing.

Scenes are so wonkily put together to create a false sense of tension and horror that it feels at times like you are sitting an exam, trying to remember everything that’s happened and why it’s all important. It’s a format that worked for Ritchie in his take on Sherlock Holmes, because that’s the nature of Holmes, but here it is simply confusing and tiring.

This had the potential to be entertaining, but an over reliance on nonlinear storytelling mixed with blokey humour and characters simply makes this latest King Arthur utterly tiresome. Hopefully whichever studio decides to tackle it next learns from this one’s obvious mistakes.

A DOG ’S PURPOSE Film

P I RATES O F TH E C A RI B B EAN : D EA D M EN TEL L N O TA L ES Film

Reviewed by Ethan Sills It is very rare in Hollywood to have a movie about animals that isn’t made to be as depressing as possible. When you think of dogs in movies, you will probably think of something like Marley and Me: heartwarming, humorous, but with an ending you won’t forget any time soon.

It’s a formula that A Dog’s Purpose repeats and doubles down on. The central dog dies at least four times on screen, being reincarnated for a new life experience each time. It is designed to make you cry as much as possible, but somehow it gets away with it.

The central premise is a dog, eventually known as Bailey amongst other names, wonders what the meaning of life is as he goes through various bodies and owners. His strongest connection is with a young boy, Ethan, but after years of memories both happy and sad, Bailey’s death and third reincarnation leaves him wondering what it all means.

There were plenty of sniffles heard throughout the cinema as this played; you’d have to have a heart of stone not to be moved by what’s on screen. The downside of that is how emotionally manipulative it is, with each story seemingly constructed to be as upsetting as possible. It can be a bit heavy handed at times, but the movie earns the right to have so many tearjerking moments by showing believable characters in complicated, realistic situations.

Sure, they are all meant to be incredibly sad, but you can forgive it for that.

While neither the plot nor the acting will be award-winning any time soon, this is a more grown up version of the many sad dog movies that have haunted cinemas over the decades, and A Dog’s Purpose ultimately serves as a reminder for the importance of pets in helping people through tough times.

Reviewed by Benjamin Matthews While this swashbuckling pirate franchise may have seen its heyday, the fifth Pirates of the Caribbean film still carries enough punch to keep even a landlubber satisfied. After the lacklustre On Stranger Tides, a movie which felt like it’d been tagged on at the end, Dead Men Tell No Tale is a fitting conclusion to Captain Jack Sparrow’s story.

Centred on Henry Turner (Brenton Thwaites), son of the original film’s protagonist Will Turner, the young wannabe pirate joins up with Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) and astronomer Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario). Together they search for Neptune’s legendary trident, an object said to uplift all curses. Hot on their tail is Captain Armando Salazar (Javier Bardem), an undead pirate hunter who blames Jack Sparrow for his downfall. Unlike the previous film, the chemistry between the three main actors is superb. The way each character is able to bounce off each other reminded me of the original cast. And the villain, Salazar, is possibly the best so far: his creepy yet amusing behaviour steals every scene he’s in.

There are plenty of adrenaline-inducing actions scenes, something the franchise has been known for. Whether it’s a bank heist, or simply trying to thwart an execution, there’s a lot to keep the film interesting. Sadly it lacks a decent sword fighting scene, usually a highlight in a Pirates film While the movie isn’t as good as The Curse of the Black Pearl, it’s a massive improvement compared to some of the other sequels, especially the fourth instalment. Not only does it explain the backstory to our favourite drunk pirate, it resolves many of the storylines established in previous films. It does however leave one question: where has all the rum gone?

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