Debate issue 17

Issue 17 | AUGUST 2013 www.ausm.org.nz

Issue 17 | August 2013 Directory

reception City Campus Level 2, WC Building 921 9805 Mon-Thurs: 9am-5pm Fri: 9am-4pm North Shore Campus Level 2, AS Building 921 9949 Mon-Fri: 11am-1pm

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Cover

Illusration by Meg Cummins p22

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EDITOR

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Matthew Cattin matthew.cattin@aut.ac.nz

sub editor

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Nigel Moffiet

designer/PHOTOGRAPHER

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Ramina Rai

Manukau Campus MB107 921 9999 ext 6672 Mon-Thurs: 9am-3.30pm governance & leadership Kizito Essuman AuSM Student President 921 9999 ext 8571 kizito.essuman@aut.ac.nz management Kathy Anderson General Manager 921 9999 ext 8570 kanderso@aut.ac.nz advocacy Siobhan Daly AuSM Advocate 921 9999 ext 8311 siobhan.daly@aut.ac.nz marketing Kate Lin Sales and Marketing Co-ordinator 921 9999 ext 8909 kate.lin@aut.ac.nz events Carl Ewen Student Life Manager 921 9999 ext 8931 carl.ewen@aut.ac.nz media Matthew Cattin Publications Co-ordinator 921 9999 ext 8774 matthew.cattin@aut.ac.nz vesbar Zane Chase Vesbar Manager 921 9999 ext 8378 zane.chase@aut.ac.nz volunteers & clubs Lauren Howe Volunteers Coordinator 921 9999 ext 8911 lauren.howe@aut.ac.nz

www.ausm.org.nz

contributors

Abigail Johnson | Augustus Bloodsworth | Carl Ewen | Erica McQueen | India Hendrikse|Jordan Reynolds | Mike Ross | Scott Moyes | Scott Yeoman |

Illustration & Photography

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Ramina Rai

advertising contact Kate Lin kate.lin@aut.ac.nz

printer

PMP Print Ltd.

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publisher

AuSM all rights reserved

5 EDITORIAL

19 Social Media Highlights

6 BADBERTISEMENTS

21 Psychotic Serial Killers

8-9 ARTIST OF THE WEEK

22 The Perils of Extreme Fandom

11 Fairy Tales

23 Fangirls? Harden The Fuck Up

12 The Great Kiwi Capping Stunt

24 Words Of Wisdom From A Graduate

14 NIFTY NEWS 15 Prez Sez AuSM Updates 16 Memo Auckland’s Got It Going On 17 COLUMNS 18 Puzzle Time

26 The Big Two-Oh 28 WOODSTOCK 30 MUSIC: Avenged Sevenfold 32 REVIEWS

This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUCKLAND STUDENT MOVEMENT AT AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY INCORPORATED (“AuSM”). Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly.

Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AuSM.

disclaimer Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, PMP Print or its subsidiaries.

debate is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA)

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AUT CHINESE CENTRE 中文中心 Free support services for all Chinese speaking students 為華人學生提供援助的地方 •

Specialist advice and information on studying and living in Auckland - 提供生活和學習方面的專業指導

•

Workshops on Western study skills and ongoing peer tutoring services - 培訓大學學習技能，組織課業輔導

•

Social activities and networking - 組織課餘活動，拓展社交圈子

•

Facilities and resources - 提供專門的學習設施和空間

City Campus: Phone: Email: Web:

WB406 921 9999 x 8397 or 6503

chinese.centre@aut.ac.nz www.aut.ac.nz/chinese_centre

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START THE ADVENTURE

by Matthew Cattin Last night I took an unexpected turn down memory lane. It’s a street I haven’t visited in many years and, I have to say, I felt rather ill-prepared for the hefty nostalgia wave that rolled in – heck, I didn’t even pack a snack…

You see, I spent my first few school years at Clevedon Primary before heading to Opaheke in year three. I was only a little fella, awkward and introverted but, nevertheless, I made a few nice friends and really enjoyed my time there. It was merely a fleeting visit however as my family and I moved up to the glorious Hibiscus Coast half way through year four. I was devastated at the time and give my parents shit for months for severing my friendships. In hind sight of course, it was an excellent move I wouldn’t change for anything and of that brief window at Opaheke Primary, I have very few memories. Since leaving over a decade ago, I’ve kept in contact with absolutely no one from that time and have therefore never had the chance to reminisce about the old days and keep the memories alive – that is until now.

I was casually skimming through Facebook late last night when I noticed a uni friend had posted a picture of himself in college, brimming with adolescent awkwardness and perhaps the worst haircut I’ve ever seen on a man. I can get away with saying that because the years have been more than kind to him and let’s be honest, who even reads

debate? What really caught my attention however – after I got over the bowl cut – was the name of a fellow commenter. I did a bit of a double take, checked out her profile, and had a miniature freakout - this was a girl I hadn’t talked to since year four in my Opaheke days.

We immediately got chatting and I was absolutely tripping out. Names were coming up in conversation that I haven’t thought of – let alone spoken – in years.

I found that my memories of classmates had become nothing more than the year four class photograph hidden somewhere in my drawers, their kid faces frozen and laminated somewhere in my mind. I asked about my old friends; whether they had crazy college years or whether they came out of the closet (not officially, apparently).

I was taken back to afterschool sherbet straws ulcerating my tongue and bendy pencils wiggling unproductively during class, Pokémon figurines captured in pockets and rumours of Teletubbies suffocating on live TV. Like I said, it was trippy.

I imagined how my life would have turned out had I never left Opaheke Primary – where I would be now. Apparently most of my year four class never went to university choosing instead (well, maybe not choosing) to make babies and be unemployed. My friend’s older brother who did nothing but

put me in headlocks and choke slam me when I visited? Prison time. That shy, quiet girl that I had a kiddy crush on because she ruled at the monkey bars? Mother. My new Facebook friend linked me to photos of friends long forgotten and I searched their faces intently, squinting to recognise something from the class photo of 2000.

She also mentioned how sad she was when I left – apparently I was quite the little heartbreaker. Nine-years-old and ignorant however, I was completely unaware of her crush – I probably didn’t even say goodbye when I left. So to you Laura Atiga, I say sorry. Sorry for not realising your undying passions, and sorry for having a crush on your friend who was great on the monkey bars. If only you had shared your feelings and given me a reason to stay, perhaps we could have talked awkwardly at lunch times or teamed up in a game of playground tiggy – hell, we might have even ‘gone out’ for two or three hours before deciding to just stay friends. I’m glad we’ve grown as individuals in this time apart and I hope it’s helped your get over me. I also hope you can forgive me for spilling the beans on your heart’s old desires in my editorial. I’m a journalist – you know how it is. Anything for a story.

Matthew

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BADVERTISEMENTS

By Nigel Moffiet Western society has made some positive social leaps over the last half century. We have improved lives with world-wide civil rights movements, women’s rights, animal rights, LGBT rights, and various other fundamental human rights. Of course, such leaps are only made off the back of some very poor and discriminatory attitudes that creep into mainstream society. These mainstream attitudes or, at least, the attitudes of those in power are often expressed in the advertising that litters our cultural landscape.

marketing campaign can push the envelope of good taste and decency before there is public outcry.

We walk streets where giant billboards hang with exotic faces peering down upon us. Unfamiliar eyes steer at us from the side of a bus; images of summery holidays and white sandy beaches; Daniel Carter in his budgie smugglers and Stephen Fleming in a nice warm heatpumped house. Often these advertisements play into cultural norms – they confirm the attitudes we take for granted and we barely put any thought into what we’re seeing. Advertisements could be seen as a mirror of society in this respect.

But even today, there’s a lot of advertising around which emotionally exploits people by preaching how we should behave, how we should look, how we should dress, how we should feel etc.. There’s a lot of advertising that promotes the ideal body image along with boring female and male stereotypes. But 50 years ago, they took these stereotypes to the extreme – the man of the house was no doubt the boss, the breadwinner, the decision maker. The woman was submissive, subordinate, obedient and sometimes depicted as nothing more than a borderline sex slave. It’s easy to make fun of feminists today or find them irritating, but having a look at a few old advertisements certainly proves their worth and what they were up against. It’s a good reminder in a way.

What happens to be a very eye opening, jaw dropping, and enlightening experience, is to browse advertisements from 50 or 60 years ago. It shows how far we’ve come as a society. It shows how we’ve matured. And it makes you wonder – what sort of shit is out there today that might make our future descendants wince with horror?

Sometimes these norms might be totally unreasonable and discriminatory if viewed with a critical eye. Of course, while a blatant marketing gimmick such as a Tui beer commercial purposefully exploits misogynistic attitudes, it is interesting to ponder just how far a blatant

Now, while I too hate a bad cup of coffee, here’s what an old Chase & Sanborn brand had to say about the issue. The woman had done a day’s shopping, bought the family goods, but is seen to be scolded and abused by her husband for failing to buy the “fresher coffee” and instead she was silly enough to buy the “flat, stale coffee”. It’s an apparent attempt at humour, but given the prevalence of domestic violence today, it’s a little too real.

Meanwhile, a good little wife should look after her husband’s needs; she should be a good little servant. (left image) And this ad (right image) goes beyond the depiction of a good servant. A woman’s lot here is reduced to nothing more than slavery. Its slogan “it’s nice to have a girl around the house” carries the creepiest, criminal undertones that you imagine it was pretty outrageous even for its time – well, you hope so.

This is one of the oldest stereotypes out there – a good woman belongs in the kitchen. Heck even a chef comes home to have his meals made for him.

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Although we no longer see advertising as aggressive as this where women are literally at the mercy of a potentially violent male, it is a precursor to the wildly sexual advertising today. And while I must admit, I have enjoyed a sexy billboard from time to time, often the outcome of this advertising is the same. In an academic article titled Sexism and Sexuality in Advertising, authors Michael Jacobsen and Laurie Mazur argue that a lot of today’s advertising borders on pornography. “Not only do these ubiquitous images encourage us to think of sex as a commodity, but they often reinforce stereotypes of women as sex objects and may contribute to violence against women”.

On a different note, you wouldn’t see an ad like this anymore.

Could you imagine walking through the pork section of the supermarket to find this on display? Although this could be horribly upsetting to some, in a way you could argue it’s a good reminder of what we’re eating – albeit, an unappetising reminder.

We have become so removed from our food and where it comes from these days that people are genuinely shocked to be reminded that their meat products were once living, sentient beings.

Robert N. Proctor, a Stanford University history of medicine professor, wrote a book titled The Golden Holocaust, about the global health costs of tobacco. He says the persistence of cigarette ads with health claims was actually a response to the fact there was widespread public concern about tobacco during the mid-20th century. At the time, people did know smoking was bad for you although there was no definitive scientific proof. Thus, tobacco companies pushed their cynical propaganda to combat such views which, although wide spread, were not of high public concern at this stage.

Other safety concerns were also forgotten in the advertising of old.

These days, it seems we need the constant presence of Occupational Safety and Health to remind us that there are risks in life and we need to proceed carefully. Our ancestors couldn’t care less.

Meanwhile, the advertising of yesterday could also get pretty carried away with naive notions of health, freedom, and the carefree image.

This…

Or this…

Or this.

And forget Fonterra’s baby formula botulism scare. Coca Cola was advising parents to feed their infants with sugary drinks as soon as possible “for a better start in life”.

Here’s the classic cigarette endorsed by doctors – it must be good for you (left image). And the sophisticated, educated smoker. (right image) And the cigarette for the dead sexy playboy.

These advertisements need very little explanation. That said, badvertising.org, a website that pokes fun at idiotic advertising, likes to tweak the images for a dose of reality. For example, here’s smoking Joe Kool.

Before....

and

...after.

In a 2011 study titled Does Advertising Shape or Reflect Popular Culture? from Edinburgh Napier University, Jacqueline Waugh set out to answer this question. It was concluded that advertising does indeed shape popular culture. Examples would be Santa Claus, the perception of diamonds with love or even the Dove ‘campaign for real beauty’. However, it is argued that modern day consumers are more culturally aware of the impact advertising has in normalising certain behaviours and opinions. Advertising which promotes unacceptable behaviour is more likely to face a barrage of critics today. Yet we are still vulnerable to the psychological effects of advertising. We must keep our eyes open and stay alert to the subliminal messages we are being fed. It’s good to remember the influential neo-Marxist take on advertising as espoused by the Frankfurt School of thought in which advertising “shapes the tastes and preferences of the masses, thereby moulding their consciousness by inculcating the desire for false needs. It therefore works to exclude real or true needs, alternative and radical concepts or theories, and politically oppositional ways of thinking and acting. It is so effective in doing this that the people do not realize what is going on.” (Strinati, D. (1995) An introduction to theories of popular culture) www.ausm.org.nz

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Artist of the week: MEG CUMMINS

Meg Cummins is currently completing her Honours in Graphic Design at AUT. She thoroughly enjoys drawing little block houses on hills and tiny people in huge landscapes.

She hopes to be able to one day make a living telling stories with words and pictures – preferably in children’s books or comic illustrations.

You can check out more of her work at megcumminsart.tumblr.com 8

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BE IN TO WIN A SAMSUNG S3 PHONE!

12 NOON // To be held in WC202 AuSM STUDENT LOUNGE. All AuSM members are welcome.

Please bring student ID. Come along and enjoy a slice of pizza, be in to win a Samsung S3 Phone and hear all about the upcoming changes for your student association!

Agenda items include: Constitutional Changes.

Election Changes.

Appointment Of Returning Officer.

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Prize Sponsored by Vodafone

FAIRY TALES

by Augustus Bloodsworth

Fairy tales are often one’s first introductions to storytelling. They are, for the most part, better known as fables from Disney and for many writers (and readers alike) they become lifelong companions. Fairy tales by definition are short stories that involve goblins, fairies, trolls, witches and other folklore fantasy creatures (at least according to the cynics).

Fairy tales have always stood apart from other forms of storytelling and up until the 19th and 20th centuries the target audience was adults as much as it was children. Come this period, the focus shifted almost exclusively to children. Beauty and the Beast, as an example, had its origins in the adult side of the audience but it’s the redacted version that we’ve come to adore since it was first done in 1756.

Hans Christian Andersen began writing fairy tales in 1835. Being Danish there was great difficulty capturing his humour and the quality of his story telling in the translations. Stories that are now favourites, (Little Mermaid, Thumbelina, The Tinderbox) were initially met with poor sales. The stories are now, of course, most well known as being part of the Disney franchise and another generation are currently being raised on them.

It pays to note that Andersen’s fairy tales weren’t born wholly out of love for all things good. There were references to the unattainable women he’d fallen in love with (The Nightingale was an expression of love for one Jenny Lind, as one example) and the trials of a life without sex. He famously wrote in his journal, “Almighty God…Give me a bride! My blood wants love, as my heart does!”

Andersen’s The Little Mermaid ends with our beloved Mermaid being offered a knife in order to murder the prince, the very man she fell in love with and watched marry a princess. Instead of killing him, she falls into the arms of sorrow and commits suicide. In the original Andersen tale she turns to foam and dies, but in his altered version, she becomes a Goddess of the air and awaits heaven. Either way, she’s dead. Not everyone finds the person or the thing they want most in life. Perhaps that’s Andersen’s lesson but nonetheless it’s far from the world of Disney and fairy tale endings, so to speak.

The folkloric tales were originally a spoken tradition that sometimes

moved into the realm of dramatisation. In order to write them down Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm (the Brothers Grimm) had to make large reworkings of the stories.

The brothers are most famous for their stories that, to coin a phrase, have been ‘Disneyfied’. They are responsible for some of our most beloved fables such as Cinderella, Hansel and Gretel and Rapunzel.

Much like Andersen’s The Little Mermaid there is a sinister side to Cinderella that isn’t acknowledged in the more popular Disney version. Cinderella’s two wicked sisters cut parts of their feet off (a big toe for one and a part of the heel for the other) in order to fit them into the slipper. Our lust-driven perfection hunter of a prince is apparently easily deceived as he rides off with both in their turn. He’s stopped only by, what the sisters may consider, overly interested and invested birds that sing of the deception.

The tales of the Grimms (the aptitude of their name never ceases to make me smile) are both twisted and horrific. The beauty of this, despite their flaws with plot, is that they are in some way reflections of real life. It’s easy to turn to Tolstoy or Austen as hallmarks of stories about people and humanity, but the Grimms all too often seem to be forgotten in this. To stick with the Cinderella story, the wicked sisters’ cutting off parts of their feet is a perfect meditation on actions driven by jealousy.

While Hansel and Gretel is an astounding portrayal of manipulation, trust and love. It also shows the fortitude of the bond and love of siblings. The morals of the Grimm’s tales no longer seem to be what brings them to the front of readers minds, and for this reason, we as readers, and the Grimm brothers as writers are missing out.

All fairy tales are just as relevant and important today as they have ever been. One of their beauties, aside from the occasional transgression, is that they’ve remained true to form since first written down. Treated and altered, yes, but so far their fate hasn’t led them too far down the Marvel Superhero trail. These tales, in some ways, have already stood the test of time and as long as publishers exist to continue printing and fans post them on the internet, they’ll continue to be told. www.ausm.org.nz

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by Nigel Moffiet Graduation time – the moment students enter the ‘real world’ and become responsible young adults with a nine to five. But before that, just one last thing: a final dash of immaturity for old times’ sake.

What was once a great Kiwi tradition has now fallen slightly off the radar in recent years – the capping stunt. A time for university graduates around the country to deviously plot a good humoured act of defiance. Sometimes creative, other times blatant, the capping stunt has usually been a prank against authority and has often made national headlines. I poked around a few past pranks (some of which may have fallen to rumour) and found this really is a defining aspect to student culture in New Zealand – a culture that goes back many years.

cross-dressing Victoria uni student named the ‘Queen of Sheba’ in a 1928 Procesh for graduation. His skirt is made from Truth newspapers.

An early story from the Massey University archives is evidence that NZ students have always been keen on a good old prank. It gives details of a club that thrived at Massey Agricultural College in the 1930s – The Kareti Club. The club was set up to investigate the “velocity at which beer can flow over mucous membranes” – somewhat covering up the fact they were a beer drinking club. The club also began its capping ritual, the “Procesh”, in 1935 where students would make their way down Palmerston North’s Fitzherbert Avenue and around the square in ridiculously decorated, satirical floats to the delight of locals.

Letter writing campaigns have been another defining feature of the classic Kiwi capping stunt. In recent years such stunts have drawn in the media, police and general public. Such was the case in 2006 when a Christchurch student sent letters out to around 100 Riccarton residents advising them their homes were to be bulldozed to make way for a new shopping mall. The letters were sent bearing Christchurch City Council and Westfield Riccarton Mall logos. Police were called in to investigate, it made national headlines and one local resident said it was “a terribly, terribly sick joke”.

The Kareti Club was also responsible for some awkward welcoming rituals for distinguished guests.

When Prime Minister Michael Joseph Savage visited the college in 1937, the Kareti Club reminded him it was NZ’s top agricultural institute by carrying him across the cattle-stop in a wheelbarrow, then up to the science building in a hay wagon before being presented with a pig after the final ceremony.

The Procesh (or capping parade) had also taken off in other universities around the country. In picture number one we see a

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And of course, the Procesh was sometimes controversial. One particular graduation ritual by Auckland University engineering students was to perform a piss-take Haka in a public spot dressed in grass skirts whilst making silly faces (picture two). During the 1970s Maori groups criticised the annual fiasco as a mockery of their culture. In 1979 activists stormed a practice session, assaulted the group and tore their skirts off. Although the activists were convicted it put the annual Haka to an end.

Meanwhile, 2005 was nearly the year that killed the capping stunt.

When the Prime Minister’s office received a letter threatening to release the Foot and Mouth virus on Waiheke Island the country went into a spin. This hoax was even picked up by some international media including a Chinese newswire. Of course, it was just another capping stunt, once more from Palmerston North's Massey University. One blogger lamented the days when capping stunts were funny: “What idiot thought up a stunt that could have cost the country billions?”

Often cited as the greatest NZ student hoax, was the 1952 Knox

Image two

Image one

Image three

Image one souce: http://definingnz.com/student-pranks-the-early-days. Image two source: Alexander Turnbull Library.

Image three source: Auckland War Memorial Museum Tamaki Paenga Hira

College UFO prank which aimed to make a mockery of the Otago Daily Times for having done a bunch of serious and ridiculous alien reporting in the past. Known as the ‘Great Inter-Planetary Hoax’ it was said to have taken weeks of planning and perpetration. A map was created showing precise flight details of two UFOs from the far north to Invercargill and a specific description of the UFOs. When the students went back to their home towns for the holidays they were able to carry out a nationwide blitz – reported sightings up and down NZ. For over 20 years, this became one of the strongest documented sightings of UFOs in the country. Newspapers went crazy – including the ODT. Then, in 1978, the mystery was solved – A former Knox College student revealed the details of NZ’s longest running capping stunt. Well done boys!

Other great capping stunts through the years:

What is regarded as the classic student stunt of recent years was a Victoria University hoax. Wikipedia references this stunt as a classic as it “encompasses all key elements” i.e. the students, local authorities, and an unsuspecting population. It was simple but ingenious: local workmen were told that students were going to dress as police and attempt to arrest them, while police were told students would be dressed as workmen and were planning to dig up the road. The idea alone is a crack up. It would have been great to see this one in action.

-- Auckland students put dry ice into 44 gallon drums which were spray painted with hazard symbols. The drums then fell off a truck in the CBD.

The great Kiwi Capping Stunt has been a defining feature of student life in New Zealand – but where has it gone in recent years? Is its diminishing popularity a reflection of a more conservative and careful attitude in today’s society? Are the carefree and naïve days behind us? Have authorities come down too heavily on what should be seen as just a bit of fun? Then again, perhaps the capping stunt does have the potential to spiral out of control – it only takes a few munters to take an idea too far. Maybe we’ve lost the art of a safe, good humored prank. The boys at Massey’s 1930s Kareti Club knew how to do it – even ceremonies in the assembly hall set the scene for a good hoax.

During a 1938 gathering, a professor’s dog appeared on stage during his principal’s report. It’s stated “these activities were tolerated, even enjoyed, by the staff”.

-- A Massey student stole a bus which was full of Japanese tourists and drove it to a lost and found contest in which he entered.

-- Auckland University engineering students diverted traffic through Albert Park. Even buses were seen trying to squeeze tightly around the corners.

-- Dunedin students stuck notices on parked cars warning the drivers that recent chemical sprays on the street meant their tyres needed to be checked and they should take their cars to the Council -- Auckland students gave out fake leaflets saying McDonald’s in Queen St would give everyone who said they were on a pub crawl a free cheeseburger.

-- Students dressed in white coats and carrying clip boards took to the streets and asked the public if they help fill up a sperm bank which was running dangerously low on deposits. www.ausm.org.nz

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Nifty NEWS

Bragging Rights Claimed At Interfaculty Basketball Comp

by Jordan Reynolds On Monday August 12, faculties all across AUT University competed amongst themselves to decide who gets the bragging rights of being the interfaculty basketball champions for 2013. Faculties represented were Sport & Rec, Art & Design, Health Sciences, Business, Te Ara Poutama, Engineering and Applied Sciences with some faculties even contributing multiple teams.

Before getting into results, highlights of the tournament included: • A tight in-house match between the two engineering faculty teams in attendance. After two hard fought halves by both sides Engineering #2 would progress with just a two point lead which was furiously contested right until the fulltime buzzer.

• Te Ara Poutama came into the tournament with reduced players meaning there were no benching opportunities for the team throughout the tournament. They compensated for their lack of fresh reserves with both exemplary team work and their players’ technical prowess on the court.

• Health Sciences team blasting through their pool, often playing from behind in each match until deep in the second half.

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Both Sport & Rec and Health Science players demonstrated a high calibre of athleticism and ball skills throughout the day.

In addition to these tournament highlights, the teams involved in the tournament were a real credit to their respective faculties showing high levels of sportsmanship, clean play and awesome team spirit across the entire day despite playing up to five matches each at 30 minutes a match.

Not oblivious to the gruelling conditions on the courts the team from AUT Sport managed to put on a BBQ despite the stormy conditions. The team from Red Bull also popped in to supply some much needed energy to the players with their stocks being exhausted within minutes.

Results wise it was Sport & Rec who met Health Sciences in the final for the coveted interfaculty trophy. It was a back and forth affair inside the AUT Akoranga Fitness Centre but Health Sciences managed to etch out a small lead over the course of the game and tenaciously hung onto their advantage as the clock ticked towards full time. The final score was 59-53 to Health Science.

For more pictures, results and to sign up for the upcoming Interfaculty Volleyball head on over to AUT Sport on www.Facebook.com/AUTSport

PREZ SEZ Hello everyone, I hope you are all having fun with studies and other commitments this semester. AuSM is making some big changes in the governance and representation structure of the student association and I would like to engage with all students about this. Accordingly, I would like to invite you to meet with me and members of the Executive Council to discuss the organisation-wide results and the impacts of the changes. I will be making myself available to you during free feed times throughout this week, I will be wearing a big blue sombrero so you won’t miss me and this is your opportunity to ask about the upcoming changes!

Just a reminder, the free feed times where I will hopefully be seeing you are: - Monday 19th August from 11am – 2pm at Manukau Campus - Tuesday 20th August from 11am – 2pm at Akoranga Campus - Thursday 22nd August from 11am – 2pm at City Campus For those interested in having further information or conversation about the changes, please contact me on kessuman@aut.ac.nz or 09 921 9999 ext 8571 Please also put in your diaries, the Special General Meeting which is on Monday 26th August where decisions on these changes will be made and a free Samsung Galaxy 3 Android Phone is up for grabs! Check out our Facebook and debate mag for details.

Thank you for your time and I look forward to meeting you all at your various campuses.

AuSM Prez Kizito Essuman

Updates

CAPTION CONTEST

SPCA Cupcake Day AuSM is once again proud to support the SPCA Cupcake Day fundraiser on Monday 26 August from 9.30am in the Hikuwai Plaza.

We will be selling cupcakes for $2 each and all proceeds go to the SPCA. If you want to get involved and help by baking some cupcakes to sell, please email lauren.howe@aut.ac.nz for more information or check out the Facebook event listing: http://tinyurl.com/AuSM-SPCA Ideal Gift: Entertainment Book Time to get your loved ones an Entertainment Book and he/she will be able to enjoy valuable offers at hundreds of local restaurants, activities and hotels.

It is available at all AuSM offices for $65 only.

Great deals await!

AuSM Pool Competition Register now for the AuSM Pool competition at Vesbar. Heat two will be this Wednesday at 12pm with amazing prizes up for grabs!

Register your interest with kyle.richmond@aut.ac.nz

Caption:

Name: Email: Campus: Drop your entry into your nearest AuSM office, or the box on the side of the red debate stands, or email debate before 12pm Thursday. What’s up for grabs?

Two “squawk burgers” vouchers for Velvet Burger on Fort St, Auckland CBD. Issue 16 Congratulations to...

Stuart Timmins City Campus who scored two Squawk Burger vouchers!

Bear with me, I can get back up!

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By Scott Yeoman

@scott_yeoman

A memorandum

Memorandum [mem-uh-ran-duh m] -noun, pl. –dums, -da 1. A short note designating something to be remembered, especially something to be done or acted upon in the future; reminder.

Don’t forget why lots of people immigrate to NZ – it’s safe – some people say safer than anywhere else...some people I avoided the GCSB debate for as long as I could. Not because it’s not important - it most definitely is - but because I’m very aware that a lot of people are over it. I’m also cautious of talking about something I don’t know enough about – there’s nothing worse than some big shot talking about a very complex topic in a naive and simplistic way. But two things in the last week have spurred me to throw a few points on the page, bare with me.

Number one - Some of you (he says hoping) may have noticed that me and my Memo were missing last week. It was during this week, in the mighty Whakatane, that something became very clear to me.

Before leaving I was reminded countless times of the high level of gang activity there and this only increased when I got down there.

Not the gang activity – I didn’t see any of that – just the talk of it. Now I don’t dispute the strong Mongrel Mob and Black Power presence in the Eastern Bay of Plenty and I’m not blind to the crime and violence that comes with it, but at no point during my stay did I feel unsafe. Whakatane is a friendly and vibrant little town that has a strong sense of community and with that, a strong sense of security.

It made me re-think a lot of the safety ‘statuses’ people place on certain towns and cities in New Zealand. A lot of which I think are grossly exaggerated.

Number two – The John C. vs. John K. debate last Wednesday night sparked a bit of a discussion in my household, as I’m sure it did for many around the country. Of the various clashing opinions, the strongest disagreement centred on the ‘safety’ argument. This argues the surveillance law change is needed in order to keep New Zealand safe from terrorists and other ‘bad guys’. I’m not going to tell you this argument is a stupid one. I’m not even going to try poke holes in it. But what I am going to do is re-assure you that you are not

under any major or immediate threat, at least no more so than you ever were. The latest crime rates released by Statistics New Zealand and the New Zealand Police show that total crime in New Zealand is continuing on a downward trend from 1995-2012.

• In 1995 there were 475,154 recorded offences of total crime in New Zealand.

• In 2001 the deadly 9/11 attacks started the “war on terror” - there were 436,315 recorded offences of total crime in New Zealand.

• In 2005 the horrific London Bombings confirmed the modern threat of terrorism had reached Europe - there were 426,469 recorded offences of total crime in New Zealand.

• In 2011 Osama Bin Laden was killed and the West was said to be winning its war on terrorism - there were 416,324 recorded offences of total crime in New Zealand.

• Last year there were 394,522 recorded offences of total crime in New Zealand.

However, even when looking at statistic’s like that, it is hard to argue against any law change that is said to increase the level of safety in New Zealand.

But you have to look past that and focus on what you will be giving up in return.

That’s a whole other argument I’ll leave the ‘experts’ to explain.

AUCKLAND'S GOT IT GOING ON

By Mike Ross We're now in that weird point between the nippy stiff-nipple temperatures of July, and the ice-melting flaccid-nipple temperatures of October. These are the days when you're not too sure whether to bring the washing in - or even hang it out at all - for fear of experiencing the wrath of Auckland's famous four-seasons-in-one-day phenomenon.

The dust has settled from the first R&V announcement, gyms are full, supplements are flying off the shelves, and the smell of soon-to-beshredded bodies is in the air.

Ah, spring.

And what gigs doth the newly blossomed daffodils bring with them?

Thursday

Ryan Hemsworth at Rakinos Now here's an interesting wee story. Ryan Hemsworth, Novascotian beat maker extraordinaire was originally booked to play at Cassette as part of his Aussie/NZ tour by R&V subsidiary, Rhythm Group Entertainment. Shelved because of poor ticket sales, he's been picked up by other wily promoters, Madcap Touring (the dudes that spearheaded the Nightcap tour) and is now playing at Rakinos. Hemsworth makes

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absolute chewns. Hip-hop inspired but unable to be placed in any definitive genre, check out his remix of Frank Ocean to get you in the mood. $10 presales I believe - this will be a great, great night out.

Saturday

Upstate at The Roxy Hot new venue on the block The Roxy hosts a hot new club night this Saturday. Located on Fort Lane, The Roxy boasts the accomplished title of having the tightest dress code in Auckland town.

So make sure you don't wear your pseudo-indie drop collared tee.

Black chucks are the only Converse's that'll fly too. If you're lucky enough to make it inside, you're in for a real treat. The open air rooftop bar offers a rare opportunity to smoke inside-ish for all you durry lovers, and the decadent booths offer many a nook and cranny for whispering sweet nothings. Sam Hill, The Beat Mafia, The Lost Boys, DPTRCLB DJs and myself will be providing audio refreshments for the evening. $10 on the door. Love it.

The Big Questions: Death, Dying and the Afterlife

A NICE DAY

By India Hendrikse

Humans have grappled with the inevitability and yet mysteries surrounding death in an extraordinary variety of ways throughout history and from culture to culture. At our last multi-faith forum, AUT chaplains shared their views on death, dying, and the afterlife.

Speaking from a Christian, Zen Buddhist, and Islamic perspective, respectively, the chaplains agreed that the death rate is ‘one per person’ – meaning that death is a reality, a part of life, and each one of us will have to face death (our own or death of a loved one).

Other people have acknowledged the intrinsic nature of death.

Jean Cocteau said that ‘since the day of my birth, my death began its walk. It is walking toward me is, without hurrying.’ Samuel Becket also stated that ‘we are born astride the grave’. According to Sheikh Rafat, Islamic Chaplain, ‘we don’t get a warning – all could be well today and tomorrow you are gone!’ Some of us respond to this reality by welcoming the peaceful existence which death offers; some joyfully experience each breath filled moment up until the very end; and others are fearful of death for a variety of reasons. These are all very natural human responses to death.

Although death is a big part of life, we do not really know much about it. If knowledge is limited to what we have experienced, rather than including what we believe for various reasons, then some would say that nothing really is known about what it’s like to be dead. Yet, even though it involves things about which we know nothing about, we find ourselves having to deal with questions about death, dying and idea about the afterlife. Some of the questions that preoccupy many include: Where do we go after we die? What happens to the body?

Sensei Amala shared some ‘death verses’ from the Zen Buddhist tradition. Masters on their death are expected to speak a verse of poetry. It is expected that they are fully present with life, fully present with death until they take their last breath. These verses illustrate how we can face death with great dignity - if we fully accept its reality. … The four elements essentially have no master, the five shadows are fundamentally empty the naked sword will savour my head, as though cutting through a spring breeze…

Although the moon sets, it never leaves the universe…

I shan’t die, I shan’t go anywhere. I will be here but don’t ask me anything, I shan’t answer…

When/if we are faced with the death of a loved one (a friend or a family member), we struggle to grasp and adjust to the entire situation. How do we deal with the grief and loss? In the next 3 weeks, our chaplains will be writing on ‘Dealing with Grief’.

Watch this space.

I am literally perched on a tree, As inconspicuous as can be.

Yet, I still feel as if the whole world can see me; Is self-consciousness a trait of human kind?

Or are we taught to feel as if the whole world is watching us?

The branch bends under my weight, The weight of the world is on my shoulders, So I’m sorry, dear branch.

The birds are chirping.

Maybe I am invisible…

No wait, the man smoking can see me.

My hair glistens in the sun that warms my back, My dress billows around my ripped stockings.

Today is summer, but yesterday was winter and tomorrow will probably be spring.

I almost laughed when the church bells just rang─ A real-life cliché of romanticism just tipped me back into reality.

It’s a nice day today.

Remember you can always ASK the chaplains. Check AUT website and our Facebook page for contact info and office hours.

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WORD J UMBLER

GA R P E How many words of three letters or more can you find without cheating? Probably not that many‌

BRAIN TEASERS 1. Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days; how many have 28?

2. The more you have of it, the less you see.

What is it?

6-12 Go back to school 13-25 Average Joe 25+ You did good kid.

OTSQ1

2.

Idea an

3.

nil nil nil nil

Good

4.

pa per

5.

YOU THE PAST DINGBATS ANSWERS: 1. Back to square one. 2. An afterthought. 3. Good for nothing. 4. paper cut. 5. Putting the past behind you.

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BRAIN TEASERS ANSWERS: 1.All months have at least 28 days. 2. Darkness.

1.

#social #media #highlights

Gehad El-Haddad @gelhaddad snipers shooting on speakers on stage, lookouts pointing 2 crowds while sniper shoots. targeted assassination attempts ?? ‫@ ةرمتسم ةروثلا‬FJparty "@EgyAntiCoup: Photo shows snipers firing live ammunition from an Intelligence Agency building at #Rabaa

by Nigel Moffiet By now, most of us are aware of the power of social media. How digital platforms such as Facebook, Twitter and YouTube, when used earnestly, have the power to reach out to a large audience and provide us with valuable information. Such tools were effective during the Arab Spring. As put by an Egyptian Arab Spring activist: “We use Facebook to schedule the protests and [we use] Twitter to coordinate, and YouTube to tell the world.”

Reports came in late last week of the violent crackdown on supporters of Mohammed Morsi, Egypt’s first freely elected president, who was ousted on July 3. Interim Prime Minister Hazem Beblawi defended the violence by saying authorities had to break up the protests in Cairo to restore security. The US, the UK, Turkey and other nations have all condemned the crackdown as well as the EU. Hundreds have been killed (including journalists) and there are reports of attacks on Christian churches and businesses.

Many of the valuable updates and reports have, of course, come from Twitter.

Mohamed Soltan @soltanlife 2 cameramen shot on stage right in front of me, more volunteers risk their lives so the world can watch us get killed 8:58 PM - 14 Aug 2013 Backup camera man’s helmet pic.twitter.com/z4cv9Y5Q28

The Egyptian Initiative for Personal Rights reported that a number of churches had been attacked and burnt.

EIPR @EIPR Confirmed sectarian attacks: 2 churches still on fire are the Virgin and Bishop Abram Church of Dilga, Menya and the Bishopric of Sohag” 10:25 PM - 14 Aug 2013 Fires have been put out after damages at the Mar Mina Church of Beni Hilal, Minya and Friends of the Holy Book Society in Fayoum 10:27 PM - 14 Aug 2013 Suez Bishopric denied reports of fire at Good Shepherd Church but confirmed stone throwing broke windows 10:29 PM - 14 Aug 2013

And a further crackdown on journalists. The following tweet is from a Washington Post reporter.

Abigail Hauslohner@ahauslohner Police officer who told me earlier I was "provoking" him by writing in my notebook now says: "if I see u again I will shoot you in the leg" Even children are being caught up in the violence…

Mohamed Soltan @soltanlife Tear gas at kids! MoI are Thugs. Shots still being fired pic.

On the ground photojournalist Haleem Elsharani used Twitter to document the violence. His Tweets have been followed by international media.

Halim @HaleemElsharani Photo : Prince Tadres's church in ElMenyia on fire

And there are various other Twitter reports of violence from those at the scene.

Tawakkol Karman @TawakkolKarman #Egyptian security forces are committing a massacre against the peaceful protesters in #Rabaa square #Egypt #RabaaMassacre 7:32 PM - 14 Aug 2013

So at the time of print, this is how reporting on the streets of Cairo went down. This is testimony to power of social media and how Twitter is used as an effective and immediate tool of communication during such a crisis. As Saleem Kassim writes in Policymic, social networks “have broken the psychological barrier of fear by helping many to connect and share information. It has given most people in the Arab world the knowledge that they are not alone, that there are others experiencing just as much brutality, just as much hardships, just as much lack of justice”.

And Hussein Amin, professor of mass communications at the American University in Cairo, says social networks have “for the first time provided activists with an opportunity to quickly disseminate information while bypassing government restrictions". www.ausm.org.nz

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Psychotic Serial Killers Matthew Cattin dredges through his nightmares to bring you five of the most horrific serial killers to ever roam the earth. Enjoy.

John Wayne Gacy – The Killer Clown Coulrophobia – the fear of clowns. Until I heard the name John Wayne Gacy, I thought the phobia to be wholly unjustified. I have never been so wrong in my life. From the outside looking in, Gacy looked like a regular bloke – definitely not the outcast loner persona usually associated with killers. He successfully managed a few KFC restaurants, was married with children, and spent a lot of his time doing volunteer fundraising dressed as Pogo the Clown at parades and birthday parties. In his downtime however, Gacy was a serial rapist and murderer, specifically targeting young boys around the neighbourhood. He buried most of the bodies in the crawl space beneath his house but really, who knows how many more bodies there could be around the place. When investigators asked if Gacy had killed anymore victims than what was known he said “that’s for you guys to find out”. At his trial Gacy was convicted of 33 first-degree murders and sentenced to death. Despite making a full confession to his lawyer just before his arrest, he denied his crimes right up until his execution in 1994 and his final words were allegedly “kiss my ass."

Ed Gein – The Butcher of Plainfield Making the list more for his popular culture domination than number of victims (in fact he’s not even technically a serial killer as his victim count is probably just two), Wisconsin murderer and body-snatcher Ed Gein captured the imaginations of the world – and Hollywood. You mightn’t have heard of Ed himself, but I have no doubt you’ll know his adapted portrayals: Psycho’s Norman Bates, Silence of the Lambs’ Buffalo Bill and Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s Leatherface. Although he only killed two known victims, Gein was quite the, uh, collector. In 1957, a hardware store owner mysteriously disappeared and local police suspected Gein. They went around to his farmhouse to have a look around, quickly finding the victim decapitated in his shed, hung upside down by her wrists and “dressed out like a deer”. But that was not all they found. Inside Gein’s house were nine human skin masks, skull bowls, 10 heads, four noses, skin chair covers, a belt made of nipples and an assortment of other house and fashion accessories made of women body parts. Gein wanted to be a female, you see, and decided exhuming graves and killing locals was his best chance. He did not however have sex with the bodies because “they smelled too bad”. Gein was deemed insane and died of cancer in an asylum aged 77.

Pedro Alonso Lopez – The Monster of the Andes Pedro Alonso Lopez was never bound for a peaceful existence. At eight-years-old, his prostitute mother kicked him out of his Columbia home for touching his sister’s breast. Homeless and vulnerable, Lopez lived as a beggar on the rough streets. A paedophile, on the pretense of looking after Lopez, took him to an isolated spot and repeatedly sodomised him. He swore revenge. At age 12, an American couple tried to help, sending Lopez to a school. Unfortunately, a teacher took advantage and raped him once more – once again he fled to the streets. Car theft became a way of life for Lopez but he was arrested at 18, gang raped in prison, and released in 1978 after murdering three of his rapists inside. In the two years that followed, Lopez went on a rampage, killing at least 110 young girls (the actual number however is suspected to be 300+). Lopez only murdered during the day when he could see his victim’s eyes as he strangled them – he would also rape and mutilate the girls, having tea parties afterwards with their bodies. Apprehended in 1980, Lopez confessed his heinous crimes but police did not believe him – not until he led them to the graves of 53 victims. He was sentenced to life imprisonment but amazingly released in 1998. Why? For – I shit you not - good behaviour.

Ted Bundy Like Gacy, Ted Bundy was one of those killers who just seemed to fit in. Born in 1946 to a single mother, Bundy grew up believing his mother to be his sister and his grandparents to be his parents – a fact he only discovered in his teen years. Other than that however, early life was relatively normal for Bundy. He had girlfriends, a university degree in psychology and even a foot in the door with politics. In 1974 however, young women started vanishing without a trace. As it turns out, Bundy was quite the likeable fella, able to coerce ladies into his VW despite the fact stranger danger precautions were at an all-time high. It was around this time that bodies started to turn up around the place and police suspected a serial killer due to similarities in the victims. In 1975, Bundy tried to escape police for a traffic violation – a move that resulted in his arrest and later charges of kidnapping, rape and murder, after weapons were discovered in his car.

Despite this, he escaped custody twice, killing several more in his emancipation. After an infamously public trial, in which Bundy often acted as his own attorney, he was sentenced to death by electrocution and executed in 1989. He definitely killed and mutilated between 30 and 36 people but the number, as always, could be higher.

Albert Fish – The Werewolf of Wysteria An absolutely foul creature, Albert Fish was an old school killer with a taste for inflicting pain, whether it be on himself or on others. Despite his boasting of having a child in every state, only four deaths have been conclusively linked to Fish – perhaps with today’s forensics, things would be much different. Active during the late 1800s and early 1900s, Fish made a name for himself raping, mutilating and eating children. And to top it off, he even bragged about it to his victim’s parents. In one letter addressed to a mother, Fish described in full detail how he killed, cooked and ate her 10-year-old daughter. The letter is on Wikipedia in its entirety but I don’t have the heart to reproduce it. However, a small and relatively non-gory excerpt reads, “On Sunday June the 3, 1928 I called on you at 406 W 15 St. Brought you pot cheese— strawberries. We had lunch. Grace sat in my lap and kissed me. I made up my mind to eat her.” Fish was also a huge fan of hurting himself and upon x-raying him in police custody, doctors found dozens of needles embedded in his groin area. Fish was executed by electric chair in 1936 after one of his braggart letters was linked to him – his final words were, “I don't even know why I'm here". Yes you do Fish. Surely.

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The Perils of extreme fandom

by Abigail Johnson We all know what it’s like to be a fan. In fact, I don’t think there would be many people alive who aren’t a fan of ANYONE, be it Gwyneth Paltrow, or the local punk band - we’re all fans of someone or something.

Whether it’s their product, their songs, their movies or just the way they look, we are genetically pre-disposed to admire those who lead, and we especially like those who are living the way we wish to – that or we especially envy them. And thanks to the internet we can fawn over these ‘leaders’ more than we ever could before.

But is this celebrity obsession healthy? Loving people from afar? To quote punk goddess Amanda Palmer, “for most of human history, musicians, artists, they’ve been part of the community; connectors and openers, not untouchable stars. ‘Celebrity’ is about a lot of people loving you from a distance.”

We live in an age which allows us more access to our favourite celebrities than ever before. Through Twitter, Facebook, the paparazzi and the media we can learn things that were previously utterly unknowable. We can know their shoe size, their net worth, their idiosyncrasies and their humour, without them knowing a single thing about us. I personally believe that the relationship between an untouchable celebrity and a fan can be one of the loneliest relationships possible. It goes a step further than un-requited love; when the object of your affection does not, and cannot, know who you are.

When we see one small pop star being led through a swarm of cameramen, or being chased by screaming fans we often think, “that poor fellow, I bet s/he yearns for a bit of privacy.” But what about the poor person so obsessed with this relative stranger, they are compelled to run after them like an animal? What is going on in their mind? Surely it can’t be healthy to so thoroughly covet someone we can never have?

Scientists agree, coining the phrase ‘Celebrity Worship Syndrome’. It’s an easy trap to fall into, in an age that feverishly encourages the masses to obsess over the few.

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See, before Marilyn Monroe, the lives of stars were a mystery; they retained their privacy almost as much as any other professional. What happened with Marilyn, however, signalled a change in the celebrity dynamic forever. She was the unattainable woman; she embodied perfection, however she was also a private mess. The media tried their hardest to wear her down, and they succeeded.

While we admire those who live the lives we wish to lead, we, at the same time, very much despise them for achieving what we wish we could. There is a guilty pleasure in watching the mighty fall, and we all partake on it on some level. So what we’ve created is a system that builds people up into heroes, before tearing them down, turning them into vulnerable messes. What it leaves us with is heroism of drug abuse, a glamorization of rehab, and an idolisation of stupidity and vanity.

I worry about the kids who are spending their youth as Directioners or Beliebers and not just for their terrible taste in music. They can worship unattainable enigmas in a way I couldn’t, even five years ago. I had no Twitter, I had no Instagram. The Beebs can tweet what he is doing at that very moment, but they cannot reply (or rather he will not see their reply). It is a strangely skewed relationship.

There is an upside to all this, though. Experts say that as long as there have been leaders, there has always been an intrigued crowd following.

It is possible to be a healthy fan, simply by enjoying what a musician, actor or celebrity brings to our lives, without it becoming our lives.

Indeed the right celebrity can be like an ally, and it’s good to know there are people out there who are similar to you, or who inspire you, or who introduce you to new things, so long as you see them in the capacity of a favourite celebrity, as opposed to the love of your life.

I guess what I’m trying to say is take a step back, change your twitter handle from @MrsDepp123, and focus on your own world!

Fangirls? Harden The Fuck Up

By Matthew Cattin The same way I physically shudder reading of the horrors of World War II, learning of tweeny fans and their leprous, parasitic ways makes me want to lobotomise myself and cry “God is dead,” until my lungs bleed. Maybe I’m intolerant or maybe I’m just getting old but I can’t help but feel the level of tweeny-bopper hysteria has breached ‘safe’ levels and is verging into unchartered territory. Young girls, hormones buzzing over the scent of man flesh are turning into teary eyed, wailing harpies, snarling and sinking their bloody talons into anything that stands in the way of their vile fantasies. I just don’t understand it… Was this what Beatlemania was like? Were young women of the 60’s so repulsive in their unveiled and violent lust?

I sure hope not. But even if they were, at least their desires were entirely justifiable; it was the god damn Beatles, a band that laid the foundations of modern music. The likes of Bieber and One Direction (or whichever trendy puddle of soggy hormones is pumping out generic three-chord wonders these days) were blessed with pretty voices and stunning jawlines sure, but underneath their productionline plastic visage is an understanding for music as microscopic as their modesty. Despite this however, hordes of brainless chooks cluck after them like starving kittens nuzzling for a teat. There obsession is deep enough to be a danger to themselves and others and it makes me feel slightly ill – here’s why.

Recently in London, a wax museum unveiled its latest set of famous figures, the lickable lads from 1D. What happened next however had me reaching for the Panadol to settle my uneasy stomach; teen girls flocked in from right around the world to have their moment with the candlewax quintet. The queues have been phenomenal with girls lining up for hours at a time just to glimpse their (fake) idols and snare a pic for the Facebook. What’s most disturbing however is that the girls have been reacting to the models hysterically, sobbing and wailing when they get up and close with the glassy-eyed creations.

That’s seriously messed up right?! I’m talking serial killer level psychotic. If these girls are losing their shit over wax models, imagine what they would do to the real deal in a room with no windows?

Maybe eat their livers with some fava beans and a nice chianti?

In January this year, images surfaced of Bieber smoking pot, an event so devastating that the world actually stopped turning. Oh, sorry, that was a factual error; the majority of the world didn’t raise an eyebrow - they had been expecting his downfall for years. Bieber fans however – a psychotic breed of females – were driven half mad with grief and disillusionment. A few cheeky sods from humour website 4chan decided to take advantage of the Beliebers sorry state and started the twitter hashtag #CutForBieber in an attempt to blackmail him out of his drug use. Most likely to the surprise of the pranksters, the hashtag took off and young girls took up the challenge. Within hours, #CutForBieber was trending worldwide and the pictures soon followed. Bleeding wrists were posted proudly, shit was quickly getting out of hand. A second hashtag appeared; #SelfHarmIsNotAJoke and teens started doing sneaky cuts, omitting their original hashtag to keep their devotion more on the downlow. Remember, these Beliebers are lurking in our everyday society and could be anywhere… #shiver. Apparently a similar campaign took off after fake twitter accounts claimed Biebs had cancer and fans should go #BaldForBieber. Sharpen up guys.

Twilight. One word that gives 40-year-old women shivery cold sweats down their desperate, saggy backs. The fangirl buzz that surrounded that entire franchise was nothing short of nauseating. Stars were chased and mobbed my hormonal girls hungry for blood, even to the point of danger. Taylor Lautner’s hotel was once over ridden by so many screechers that the National Guard was called in. On another occasion, Robert Pattinson was so eager to get away from a mob that he got hit by a car. It sounds intense but can you even imagine the injuries he would have sustained had the girls caught up with him? His eyes, lips and penis would no doubt be ripped off by thousands of ravenous talons and his body would be trampled to the pavement. I think he made an excellent choice.

In one last example, 30 Seconds to Mars frontman Jared Leto once received a human ear in the mail with a note that read “are you listening?” Turns out he was. He pierced it through the middle and made a necklace. Class.

by Scott Moyes Kia ora, I’m Scott. I’m 22 years old, I live with my parents and I fucking dig that new Miley song. What else? I love Coronation Street more than my cat loves inconvenient places to sit, I hadn’t watched Lord of the Rings until 2010 and the main reason I’m writing this article is because I owe Matt a favour.

You see, this article is all about the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Why? Because truth be told, I’m not actually a student.

But I used to be. I graduated from AUT at the end of last year and

Give a shit about studying

If you’re going to adopt that whole ‘C’s degrees’ mentality, you should probably go back to Year 10 and keep smoking pot behind the bike sheds. I mean, I get it; nobody wants to be the one that sacrifices a weekend of partying to hang out with textbooks. You don’t have to. Just make sure your tutors know you’re keen and dedicated. Ask them questions.

Show an interest. They have more time for a B-grade student who gives a damn than an A-grade student who never turns up. If you think entry into majors is purely down academic success, then I’m afraid you’re a tad naïve.

Get laid

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket

Have a back up plan! Seriously, even if you’re 99% sure you want to be the next Dominic Bowden, make sure you minor in something completely different. At least you know if everything doesn’t go according to plan, you have something to fall back on without going and doing a whole new degree. A good friend of mine did a bit of web development on the side last year. She’s now in charge of social media for one of New Zealand’s most listened to radio stations.

Or at least make an effort to talk to more guys/girls. Every day at University you are surrounded by attractive young people your age that are keen to work hard and play hard. Never again in your life will you be so spoilt for choice. You’ll have to try a lot harder when you’re working in an office nine till five, Monday to Friday.

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now I’m fending for myself in the exciting but slightly more depressing real world. So in theory, I can say whatever I like without fear of being expelled, suspended or banned from Vesbar foam parties.

I want to share a few words of wisdom about University life. These are things I would have done differently if I had my time over again and also things that worked really well and helped me through. But most importantly, these are the things your tutors don’t necessarily tell you amongst the hundreds of essays on media ethics they have to mark.

Here goes…

Use social media to your advantage

Don’t underestimate the value of being a digital native. It can be a real asset for you. You grew up using computers and sharing the love on Bebo. Technology is second nature to you. Use it to your advantage. Many major organizations still don’t use their social media pages effectively and your knowledge can add a whole new dimension to their business. And if you haven’t already, make sure you set up a group on Facebook for the students in your year. It’s a great way of solving problems, finding answers to your questions and hearing about job opportunities after graduating.

Do something you love

There is absolutely no point being at University studying something you can’t stand doing. You’re far more likely to be successful at something you enjoy doing. You’ll have more dedication, more drive and you’re far more likely to succeed. It will also make studying much easier. I can’t stress this one enough.

Be someone’s coffee bitch

Always ask yourself, what am I doing to make sure I end up in the job I want after University? Everyone has to start somewhere, and the best time to get experience is at University when you can fall back on the support of your parents and the trusty student allowance. If you want to be on Shortland Street, go and be their coffee bitch until they let you hold the camera cables, until they let you hold the camera, until they put you in front of the camera.

Go and get your foot in the door.

Get up before 11am

In my second year of University I had both Thursdays and Fridays off, along with the two-week mid-semester breaks, month-long semester break and fourmonth end of year break. That’s a bloody long time to just sit around and be doing nothing. Set aside your study days. Get everything done. Then go out and make the most of your free time. Get to the beach. Do a roadie up to Matakana. Just don’t lie in bed till 11am because you’ll seriously regret it later on when you only have four weeks a year of holidays.

Even then your boss will be reluctant to give you the time off.

Do something there are actually jobs in

Doing what you love doesn’t mean you should drop out of your course to pursue a career in video game testing.

Be realistic. When deciding what papers you’re going to do and which major is the one for you, think about where it’s going to take you in terms of job opportunities. But don’t write off your dreams just because there can only be one Prime Minister of New Zealand. Just realise that you’re going to have to earn a living until you reach those lofty peaks.

Write for this magazine

Network, network, network

AUT cops a lot of crap from its older brother, Auckland University. But the thing it does really well is put you in touch with industry experts. Just about every week you have access to the country’s professionals in their given field. Make the most of it. Ask questions at the end of the lecture. E-mail them to thank them for coming and speaking to you. You will stick out in their minds and are a point of contact when you graduate and are looking for a job.

Basically, just get out there and get amongst it. At University you’re part of this amazing community of young, talented people who are keen to make their mark on the world. Don’t wait for opportunities to present themselves. Make your own luck happen and don’t hold back.

If you get a thrill out of posting a status update to your 300 Facebook friends, try having your opinion read by 3000 people. You don’t even have to be a writer. Draw a picture. Share a joke.

This magazine is always looking for great content and getting involved is something handy to have on your CV. You don’t even have to be politically correct. The only other magazine you can say tittybumslappercockface is Penthouse or Hustler. Even then you’re probably pushing it.

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The big two-oh.

Why 20 (really) scares me

by India Hendrikse

So in the holidays it was my birthday. Thank you, thank you, happy birthday to me.

I had a really lovely day, but the thing is, I wasn’t ready for it. I’m still not ready for it. I’ve just said goodbye to my teens, and grudgingly approached my twenties. I feel like yesterday I was 16, wishing away my teenage years, and fantasising about the incredible things I would be doing, and the endless goals I would have achieved by this oh-soscary age.

I didn’t realise it would be this daunting. I’ve talked to lots of my friends, and not that many people I’ve talked to share the same fear.

Many of you who are reading this are probably a lot older than 20 and think I’m an unappreciative child, too immature to face adulthood. But that’s just really not the case. The case is more that I’m a typical young adult just a tad confused about why we’re all here.

As the clock ticked over and hit the 12, marking the day of my birthday, I didn’t change a bit. I’m still no different, but a little cloud looms over me, following me everywhere I walk. It is the cloud of confusion, and I feel like I’m in a safe cocoon; I’ve transitioned safely from high school into being a full-time ‘big’ student, and am now halfway through my university degree. The only problem is, the cloud is a light grey, and I’m scared if the grey darkens at all, it will burst over my head and all the worries of life after university will come crashing down. But also, if a strong wind picks up, the cloud may be pushed away, and hopefully the sky will be clear behind it and show the prospect of a job.

What I’m getting at really is uncertainty. It is a word that scares me, and is a word that has its own little universe that we are all thrust into at some point. I see my Facebook slowly changing… some people I know from high school are engaged, have children, have full-time jobs, are travelling the world… while I feel like I’m in an incubator that is giving me a false warmth of a world that will cool as soon as

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I’m released from university life. But the thing is, the world might be warm out there─ who really knows! Life’s changing all the time and has suddenly sped up, so I appreciate the clichéd saying now more than ever; “always live each day as if it’s your last.” We really, really should. Because life is scary and wonderful all at the same time.

So anyway, I’m 20, and I feel like I really didn’t ‘party it up’ in my teen years. Society has so many expectations, but I chose to only half-heartedly attempt that one. Yes, I went to quite a few parties, but definitely not the roaring ones I saw many of my friends attend on a twice-weekly basis. I keep waiting for the party urge to come on… but it just hasn’t. Is it still the social norm to ‘party it up’ in your thirties?

What if it only hits me in 15 years’ time… then will I be considered a cougar out on the prowl? Or just a 35-year-old woman considered a loser because she is dissatisfied with how she embraced her youth? I really hope people aren’t mean.

Also, I planned to save the world in some way by 20. I am still deciding whether I want to embrace being a full vegetarian, what my opinion is on climate change, whom my favourite political party is, and what charities I support. I want to help the world and serve a purpose in life, but my goodness there’s so many things to think about. I’m old enough to make a change, but feel too young to make my mind up about anything. The only good thing I’m doing for the country at the moment is recycling and buying free-range eggs. Woop-dee-doo-dah.

There are endless options for us growing up in a country brimming with opportunities, and I’m overwhelmed by what life has to offer.

I often think to myself that we have too many choices here in New Zealand, that maybe people would appreciate the simple things in life more if they had less to focus on. I then remind myself not to question too much, because the ‘over’ is a part to ‘overthinking’ because one can really think too much sometimes.

But my point: 20, it’s one confusing time.

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With the DeLorean in my garage, I would get up to a world of mischief. With 1.21 gigawatts in the back and the missus in the front, I’d travel the world over, experiencing a front row seat of history.

I’d travel back to January 30, 1969 to witness the Beatles’ final performance together on the Apple rooftop, to November 22, 1963 to discover the truth behind the Kennedy assassination, to May 8, 1945 to celebrate with the allies the end of the war. As much as I’d love to insist Hitler’s father sheath his beast, prevent September 11 and keep the Beatles together, well, any one of those changes would most likely alter the world enough to prevent my own conception, perhaps even my parent’s conception, not to mention that of millions of brilliant individuals the world over. So I got thinking… What point in history would I visit first? Keeping in mind I could only be a passive observer. I have to say, after careful consideration, the date would probably be August 15-18, 1969 – Woodstock.

No matter what anybody says about hippies, you have to admit their music was fricken top notch. Breaking free of the 50’s constraints of jazz and blues, the 60’s were a whirlwind of mind-blowing sitars, wailing solos, folk harmonies, searing rock organs and hallucinogenic narcotics. Bands like The Beatles and The Jimi Hendrix Experience broke through walls and redefined popular music, much to the bitterness of older generations. The post WWII baby boomers had all grown up, revelling in the relatively easier times. Although the 60s were tarnished by the Vietnam War, Kennedy’s assassination and nuclear fears, the era will always be remembered for its barefoot love, rainbow mentality and Woodstock.

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Ironically, despite Woodstock’s timeless reputation of peace and love, the idea was born out of greed. When John Roberts inherited a pharmaceutical fortune, he and three other young men decided they would invest the money in a get-rich-quick idea. The original scheme was to build a recording studio retreat for musicians in Woodstock, New York, but this idea was put on hold when the fellas came up with the three day festival. The goal was simple: a 50,000 person capacity festival to hopefully raise enough funds for the studio retreat. They locked in a location for the event and the ball started rolling – bands were booked, security organised and tickets printed ($7 for one day, $13 for two days, and $18 for three days).

Just over a month before the date however, the small township near the planned location passed a law which made Woodstock a legal impossibility – apparently they weren’t too keen on being overrun with dirty, promiscuous hippies. The organisers had a few sleepless weeks before local farmer Max Yasgur offered up his 600 acre dairy farm as an alternative. Of the occasion, Yasgur is famously quoted as saying, “if the generation gap is to be closed, we older people have to do more than we have done.” What a guy right?

Two days before the festival began, the floodgates opened.

Apparently word spreads like hives amongst hippies and by Wednesday August 13 (two days before show time), there was an estimated 50,000 eager punters camping near the stage. These opportunistic hippies had walked through the gaps in the fence where gates were yet to be installed, likely ticketless and without a dollar to their names. Without the means to remove thousands

of hippies (without causing a peaceful and harmless retaliation), the organisers were forced to scrap their dreams of wealth and success and make the festival a free-for –all. Now, as we have already deduced, hippies are pretty bloody good at the old Chinese whispers and word of a free concert sent shock waves around the country.

Around one million people started their pilgrimage to Woodstock causing traffic jams miles long. Cars and vans were ditched roadside and many continued on foot – police turned away as many as half a million people. Unfortunately, nobody planned for half a million people and the venue couldn’t have been less prepared. With three toilets for every 10,000 people, it was a logistical nightmare and had it been any other time but the 60s, I’m sure the whole shebang would have been called off.

Despite the mud, the traffic, the heat and the hippies, Woodstock went ahead almost according to schedule and on the Friday evening, performer Richie Havens kicked things off in style followed in order of appearance by… Sweetwater, Bert Sommer, Tim Hardin, Ravi Shankar, Melanie, Arlo Guthrie, Joan Baez, Quill, Country Joe McDonald, John B. Sebastian, Keef Hartley Band, Santana, Incredible String Band, Canned Heat, Grateful Dead, Leslie West & Mountain, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Janis Joplin, Sly & The Family Stone, The Who, Jefferson Airplane, Joe Cocker, Country Joe & The Fish, Ten Years After, The Band, Johnny Winter, Blood Sweat And Tears, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Paul Butterfield Blues Band, Sha Na Na and of course the now legendary performance by Jimi Hendrix.

Woodstock ’69 is renowned for its music lineup sure, but perhaps

more for its nudity, drug use and copious amounts of sex. Yes, it seems if you put half a million randy hippies on a field with some Mary Jane rolled up between their fingers, there is only one conceivable outcome. Speaking of conceivable, I imagine there are many folks roaming around today who can trace their lineage back to a saucy, drug-addled one-nighter at the festival. In fact there were even two babies reportedly born right there – kinda gives new meaning to the term Woodstock baby. While new life was being brought into the world (or pumped into a hippie’s love canal) however, there was also death.

One man burst his appendix and could not escape the throngs of people in time for an op, another overdosed on heroin and another was run over by a tractor while dozing in his sleeping bag. Sad times!

A little known and hard to believe fact about Woodstock is that it put the organisers into more than one million dollars debt, as well as leaving them with 70 lawsuits to deal with post-festival. Isn’t that amazing? The greatest and most famous music festival of all was an abysmal financial failure. Thankfully, filmmakers created and released the documentary Woodstock in 1970, helping to reduce the massive debt to around $100,000. It’s a brilliant chronicle of the once-in-alifetime event and I thoroughly recommend you checking it out. My favourite music teacher loaned me the DVD in seventh form and I’m almost embarrassed to admit that after several spins in the player, I got quite heavily into tie-dye. Yeah – I’m awesome, I know.

Peace.

HAIL TO THE KINGS AVENGED SEVENFOLD

by Carl Ewen When talking with M. Shadows it is obvious that Avenged Sevenfold are not afraid to go where their instincts lead them. Not even if it means a complete change in the band’s sound, regardless of the outcome.

Hailing from Huntington Beach, California, Avenged Sevenfold’s journey has not been an easy one. Since forming in high school in 1999, A7X have evolved in sound, reached the heights of musical success, been marred by tragedy and have risen from the ashes to reclaim their crowns as one of metal’s true legends.

Hail to the King, due to be released on the August 23, will be the band’s sixth full length album, and by the sounds of it, one of their most diverse offerings yet.

After their rise to main stream metal in 2005 with the album City of Evil, Avenged Sevenfold were ready to take on the world with tours and write ups in the likes of Metal Hammer, Revolver and Kerrang magazines - things were on the up and up. Their follow-up self-titled album, released in 2007, debuted at number four on the billboard charts, and although it was met by a mixed critical response it sold 90,000 in its first week in the US alone.

The band’s success and rise to the top of the metal world was later marred by the loss of the band’s founding member, drummer Jimmy ‘The Rev’ Sullivan, who died from a drug and alcohol overdose at the end of the album’s touring cycle on December 28 2009, aged only 28-years-old. The band members admitted in a number of interviews that they considered disbanding A7X, but soon re-entered the studio

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after enlisting the now former drummer of Dream Theater Mike Portnoy in February 2010.

The following album Nightmare debuted at number 1 on the Billboard 200 charts and sold 163,000 units in the US in its first week, bringing the band back to higher heights than they had reached with their previous offerings. And as you can imagine, Nightmare was a much darker album than previous releases, due to the band’s grieving for their fallen brother.

And now we are in 2013, with the release of the Hail to the King imminent, a new animated web series of the same name created by the band in collaboration with Metalocalypse creator John Schnepp, and a huge amount of tours and shows planned. 2013 is definitely the year of the Death Bat. Speaking to Matt aka. M Shadows, he sounds excited and positive about the new album, a new drummer and the future of the band.

Debate: How has the dynamic changed within Avenged Sevenfold having added Arin Ilejay on the drums?

M. Shadows: Personally, it’s obviously changed. We lost our best friend and more than a friend, a family member. So things change.

You have a guy in there that we don’t know that well at all. We know he’s a good person and that he wrecks at the drums, but it’s a feeling it out process. With going out on the road, shooting music videos, doing interviews and photo shoots, we are doing these things with him for the first time. We are really incorporating him into our world on this record whereas on Nightmare, he was more of a touring drummer.

With the dynamics musically, you are dealing with a different player,

a different style, and dealing with Jimmy, you know, we grew up with him, so we didn’t know anything else. I’d never played with another drummer. So now you’re seeing what he’s really good at, what his strengths are, and it’s fun to play off those things. It sure will be great.

It’s the kind of record that he’s going to sound great on.

Debate: What was the song writing process like for Hail to the King, how did it differ from your previous albums?

M. Shadows: With the first two records, we were listening to a lot of punk rock and hard-core, and the bigger bands we were into were Pantera and Metallica, but the hardcore sound came out in our song writing. When City of Evil came out, we were really into a lot of European metal. We got introduced to the Children of Bodoms and Helloweens of the world. And I think that really showed in the song writing.

Debate: You must be excited to get back on the road touring, because I know it has been a while since you have played live. How do you prepare yourself to go out on tour?

M. Shadows: Preparing for touring, we all hit the gym, lots of cardio.

You don’t want to go out there and have a bad first night, especially since you can really blow out your voice, especially for me.

So when we go to rehearsals, I start singing like five songs the first night, then I’ll sing seven the next time and 10 the next time, then I’m ready to get back on stage and sing, because, everything depends on how you start the tour.

If you start a tour, and blow your voice on night one, you’re just gunna be on that downward slope for the whole two year cycle trying to recover to get yourself back in a good spot. Just trying to get prepared as much as possible, by getting in shape and being aware that your first night on tour is gunna be tough, because you’re doing something that you haven’t done in over a year.

Debate: What are some of your ambitions and the bands ambitions for 2013 and beyond?

M. Shadows: We have some massive tours lined up - we just want to start where we left off. Then we want to take it to that next level. When we started the touring cycle with Nightmare, we were in one spot, and then we ended in quite a different spot. And it was a good spot that we ended in. I think with this record, we want to continue to take ourselves from being the band before the headliner, to being the headliner.

In major festival settings, when we played before System of a Down at Download last year, this year we want to headline, and we want to get to that spot throughout the rest of the world. You know, we are going to be playing before Iron Maiden in Brazil. It’s a good place to be in, but we want that headlining spot. So by the end of the cycle we want to have proven ourselves as a live band consistently, and we want to put out a record that everyone loves and that has a lot of weight behind it and depth. We want to go out there and work.

Debate: It’s been five years since you last played in New Zealand, do you have any plans to head back to play any time soon?

With the white album, a lot of different things were brought into that record, and I think with Nightmare, we refined a lot of that. I think we took what we were trying to get at, and what worked on other records, and we made what I thought was a really cool, cohesive record, and then obviously layered with the loss of Jimmy which added a real human element to it.

But on this new record, we went in a new direction. We really wanted to study songs, study classic bands, study the blues, classical music and we started really getting influenced by things like The Rolling Stones and things like AC/DC and Zeppelin and other bands that are really riff orientated and we had a conscious decision, that if a riff wasn’t strong enough then we pretty much threw it away on this record.

We wanted everything to be really slick and groove orientated, really singular, we didn’t want to just add a bunch of things to make it sound better - we wanted things to just stand on their own. So this record is a really intricate record in the way that it’s put together, but on first listen, it made me feel that it was really stripped down, in a very powerful way I think.

M. Shadows: I don’t think we have a date, but it’s right on our list of things we need to do, and things we want to do. We love playing internationally; it’s really where we are the most excited. Because it’s really happening for us in Europe and South America and South East Asia, so to get over to New Zealand is definitely on the list.

You know, it’s such a great town, we’ve been there twice, and I went sky diving with Jimmy there, and you know I have such fond memories of New Zealand, it’s a beautiful place. Even if we have to work hard to get back there, it’s totally worth it because I think it’s such a great place to be. We will definitely be back in New Zealand on this cycle, hopefully twice.

Avenged Sevenfold’s new album Hail to The King is available in store on Friday 23rd August.

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Breaking Bad - Season Premiere Created by Vince Gilligan Starring Bryan Cranston, Aaron Paul and Anna Gunn Rating: Reviewed by Matthew Cattin

THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SOME SERIOUS SPOLIERS – READ ON ONLY IF YOU ARE UP TO DATE OR FEELING MASOCHISTIC In typical Breaking Bad fashion, the premiere began not where the last episode left off, but rather with a glimpse into the bleak, chilling future of Walter White. Pulling up outside his Albuquerque home, Walt steps out of a beat up car sporting a beard and (what’s this?) a head of hair. He pops the boot to reveal some pretty intense artillery before sneaking through a chainlink fence surrounding his old and apparently deserted home. Once inside, we are confronted with the chilling interior of the familiar White residence, abandoned and stripped. It’s obviously been searched extensively and left for the neighbourhood youths – a breathtakingly ominous ‘HEISENBERG’ has been tagged across a wall. Walter heads straight to the power socket as we already knew he would, removing the poison before exiting the house.

His neighbour Kathy catches sight of him and drops her grocery bag in horror. The truth is out then – Walter White is known to the world. But what of his family? And who is he retrieving the risin for? Is Hank still in the game? And poor, lovable Jesse?

Questions, questions, questions… And by the look of things, we’re going to have to wait for any definite answers.

After a 10 second breather through the now legendary credits, the intensity comes back instantly as Hank emerges from the bathroom, thinly veiled anger and confusion in his eyes.

Complaining of a bad stomach, he and Marie ditch the White’s family gathering and drive furiously home – stopping only for an intense panic attack and a hospital visit. His world has turned upside down in seconds and a review of the evidence confirms his fear – his brother-in-law is a mass-murdering drug distributor.

Shit is about to get real.

As usual the acting is simply sublime – total next level stuff.

Cranston is his usual two-faced best (displaying it perfectly in a run-in with an ex-business associate) but I have to say this episode belonged to Dean Norris (Hank). The fury in his face once that garage door closes (y’all know what I mean) was nothing short of frightening. He’s always been fantastic in his role as Walt’s boisterous DEA agent brother-in-law but I get the feeling the finale episodes are going to see him pick up some serious recognition for his substantial acting chops (cough-Emmy-cough).

Incredibly, with only seven episodes remaining ever in Breaking Bad, I’m still absolutely clueless as to how things are going to end. There have been theories of course – ie Marie’s days are numbered due to her obsession with purple – but I just don’t know what to believe anymore. I wouldn’t be too surprised to see Vince Gilligan take down any one of the characters but so help me God, if he so much as harms a hair on Walt Jr or Jesse’s head, I will absolutely lose it. Until that final roll of the credits however, I am nought but putty in his bloody hands.

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Luke Thompson/Mali Mali/Patrick James Portland Public House Rating: Reviewed by Erica McQueen

I was expecting great things from this night. As much as I love a good gig in a bar, two of my favourite gigs of all time were played by Luke Thompson and Mail Mali. One at GAPS (think rafters, a stage built out of fire wood and pallets, bookcases and candles) and the other at a beautiful old church (think fairy lights, couches, rugs, wine, muffins and M&Ms). There's something quite marvellous about a room full of people solely there for the music.

Attentive, silent, awestruck and simply soaking in the marvellous melodies, haunting vocals and masterful lyrics.

So anyway, after reminiscing possibly a tad too much about the lad’s previous gigs, I was looking forward to what they had in store for us and despite my high expectations Luke, Ben and Patrick definitely delivered. Patrick kicked off the evening with a stunning set of musical magic. His sound could be described as indie/folk inspired by the likes of James Taylor. I knew it was gonna be good when he was joined on stage by a banjo player!

Switching between his guitar and PPH's resident piano, Patrick played a set full of musical depth, intricacies and vulnerability.

Ben Tolich (Mali Mali) then graced the stage with his unassuming presence, beanie and hoodie. It always catches me by surprise when Ben opens not only his mouth, but his soul and produces raw, powerful, entrancing ballads. Ben played a few songs on piano, a few on guitar and produced a full band experience when he whipped out a little korg keyboardy thing.

Luke was incredible as always. Accompanied by Phil van der Wel who fleshed out the songs on banjo and lap steel, there was a good amount of foot stomping, powerful vocals and pure musical goodness. There was no harmonica or trumpet (like there often is) but there was however a good dose of Lydia Cole who joined Luke for his famed song Water.

I thought it couldn't get much better until Luke got everyone back on, or near, the (tiny) stage for a Ryan Adams cover. Heard for the first time and learnt the day previously road tripping back from The Mount it speaks a lot to the calibre of musicians when they can pull something like that off. Sure there may have been some sheets of paper laden with lyrics floating about but it’s the almostspontaneous collaborations that make live music so great.

I'm sure it sounds like I'm speaking far too highly of this gig, but it truly was like no other. If you ever get the chance to see any one of these honest and humble songwriters I truly hope you don't let the opportunity pass. Luke's album is available for free download on his website - definitely get your ears on that. And Ben's always up to something, last I checked he was hinting at some exciting plans on Facebook.

Washed Out

Paracosm Rating: Reviewed by Nigel Moffiet

Now You See Me

Directed by Louis Leterrier Starring Mark Ruffalo, Woody Harrelson and Jesse Eisenberg Rating: Reviewed by Matthew Cattin

Washed Out is an electronic, dreamy pop band created by Ernest Greene out of Georgia, US. Paracosm is a follow up to his debut, Within and Without. If his first effort was minimalistic and dark, Paracosm - while employing the same electronic synth formula - is an expansive and optimistic turn in a different direction. The album is a sonic breeze of over 50 different instruments including retro keyboards like the mellotron, chamberlin, novatron, and optigan.

It’s Ocean’s Eleven meets The Prestige meets Harry Potter; an all star cast whodunit with precious egos, showy tricks and apparently some pretty real magic… Unfortunately however, Louis Leterrier’s smart-ass magician film Now You See Me took the excretions of all the above and created something quite unextraordinary; proving quite conclusively that even Hollywood’s brightest can’t save a feather from flying in a dark brown shit storm.

Breaking away stylistically from the debut album was a conscious decision says Greene. "I've grown as a songwriter to the point where I want to have more involved arrangements, and that's really hard to do with sampling," he says. "These machines were kind of a happy medium: The sounds have a very worn, distressed quality about them, much like an old sample. But they also offer much more flexibility because they're playable. Pretty much all the keyboard sounds, and strings and harps and vibraphones—all of that comes from these old machines."

Yes Hollywood pulled out all the big stops in this one. Buzzword actor Mark Ruffalo takes the lead role as an FBI agent, fresh from his work in the dizzying Marvel franchise. You see, a bunch of stage magicians known as the Four Horsemen have been Robin Hooding the rich as part of their stage shows, dispersing their cash to their more deserving audience (who apparently were so poor they were at a classy magic show??). In one particularly poor sequence, a crooked businessman is brought onstage, only to discover his wealth redistributed into the audience’s bank accounts before his very eyes. Oh yes, very clever. Wow! Such magic. So generous. So fair. Unfortunately, in real life, a police investigation would commence immediately and the money wouldn’t last more than 24 hours in the needy bank accounts before being transferred straight back. Don’t treat your audience like they’re stupid Deferrier – cinema rule number one.

The album marks a carefree, naturalistic and chirpy vibe with an intro tilted Entrance – it’s simply more than a minute’s worth of whistling birds, rustling leaves, and atmospheric chimes of a warm summery day. It’s like an aural presentation of the visually striking flowers on the album’s cover. Perhaps a little cheesy.

The first song, It All Feels Right, breaks the bush-walk ambience like a ray of sunshine shooting through the canopy. It was the first track I’d ever heard from Washed Out and it struck me like a warm greeting from a familiar stranger. There are stylistic hints of other poppy electronic artists like British duo Lemon Jelly, or indie rock elements like The Go! Team. It’s a carefree, captivating tune.

“Call your friends, I’ll call mine. We’ll head out for a long ride.

Sun is coming out now. It all feels right.”

All I know, while made up of electronic textures, has a rhythmic drive that makes songs on this album very pop orientated. This stands out due to the fact many sections of the album were recorded live – drums, bass, and guitars. The album also needs to be listened to as a whole. Although there are songs that can be enjoyed on their own, the listener would miss out on the seamless merging of one track to the next. It’s clear the album has being created for someone to escape into – the title of the album is the name given to imaginary worlds of fantasy.

What the album does fall prey to at times is its own flustered drowsiness – the type of inconsequential sound that put some off this kind of genre. Often labeled as ‘elevator music’ or the kind of music that might be suitable at low volume in a department store, a harsh critic might dismiss the album on such grounds. While there is nothing edgy or provocative about this sound, and while it could, at times, put you to sleep, there is still enough creativity and plenty of dynamics keeping this album afloat.

Anyway. Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine provide some senior prestige – no sign of Bruce Wayne though unfortunately.

I half expected him to swoop in and break the Four Horsemen’s arrogant faces and cut out their innards… Fast-talking Jesse Eisenberg was his bitchy, smart-arse self and it fell upon Woody Harrelson’s charm to carry the humour, which he did fairly sufficiently – in an asshole sort of way I guess. Hmm what else…

Oh yes, the magic. Most of it was explained away by Freeman’s character, a man who made his living exposing magic tricks.

Stupidly, as outrageous as these tricks were (and they were quite outrageous), Freeman knew to a tee how every one was pulled off. Ridiculous. Oh, and then there were the magic tricks that weren’t explained because they were, well, real magic.

Things like teleportation, defying the laws of gravity, jumping off of a building and turning into money – no big deal AVADA KEDAVRA! If you want an audience to buy into your magic tricks, don’t use CGI – it’s embarrassing.

Add to that some severely bad chemistry between Mark Ruffalo and Melanie Laurent, horrid acting by Isla Fisher and a face palm plot twist (so stupid you won’t see it coming) and you’ve got a thoroughly poor film. It was frustrating to watch because it could have been halfway decent. Instead it tried too hard for ‘gasp’ moments and settled for sloppy scripting and lame twists. Avoid.

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