debate ISSUE 19 | AUGUST 2015
CREDITS EDITOR Laurien Barks laurien.barks@aut.ac.nz SUB-EDITORS Matthew Cattin Amelia Petrovich Julie Cleaver DESIGNERS Ramina Rai Logan Gubb
CONTENTS
CONTRIBUTORS Matthew Cattin, Shawn Cleaver, Samira Kakh, Aisha Hall, Anita Tranter, Rachel Barker, Michael Watton, Julie Cleaver, Dylan Codlin, Ethan Sills, Savannah Welsh, Kieran Bennett, Amelia Petrovich, Ali Thair, Māyā, Caterina Atkinson, Logan Gubb, Tyler Hinde ADVERTISING Harriet Smythe hsmythe@aut.ac.nz Contributions can be sent to
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Pg 3 Editor’s Letter
Pg 23 Shaka Brah
Pg 4 Vice Prez Sez
Pg 24 Twitter-fuelled Wonderland
Pg 6 Cool Shit
Pg 26 Stop Hanging Out with the Wicked Kids
Pg 8 Te Mana o Aotearoa
Pg 27 In Short
Pg 10 Why I Gave a Thief my Business Card
Pg 28 Volunteers: The True Zooper Heroes
Pg 12 The Write Way
Pg 31 InterNZ Profile
Pg 13 What’s Stopping You?
Pg 32 Mean-opoly
Pg 14 Being Raised by the System
Pg 34 Reviews
Pg 18 Ultimate Catharsis
Pg 36 Kids with Kiwi
Pg 19 Lukewarm Badass
Pg 37 Recipe
Pg 20 Hike, Float, Drink
Pg 38 Puzzles
Cover illustration by Tyler Hinde CITY CAMPUS
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EVENTS Carl Ewen carl.ewen@aut.ac.nz
With a family that’s just gone in three different directions; with my parents moving overseas, and therefore the ‘family home’ dissolving into non-existence, I’ve quickly come to terms with just how much my ‘stuff’ had an influence in how my everyday life played out. Knowing that I’ll be moving from housesit to housesit over the next several months (I refuse to face the reality of rent paying because I’m a stubborn child), has made me extremely strict when it comes to what goes in the ‘keep’ pile, and what goes out the door. I’m still whittling it down, and even though it stings just a little bit to toss something out in the moment, it’s incredible the kind of tiny benefits of owning very little that I’ve already started to see.
E D I TO R ' S
L E T T E R
Hi All, Since an early age, my parents have made sure I’ve had the opportunity to travel. Despite the fact that I grew up in a neighbourhood full of doctor and lawyer offspring - jetting off to glamourous resorts across the Caribbean - I never felt like I was missing out when it came to summer vacation. My two parental primary school teachers got immensely creative with the spare coin they had, and they would pack my brother and I up, find a cheap house to rent or housesit in a foreign land, and take us to live there for a month or so. Sure, there was no pool, no all-you-can-eat buffet, and no cruise-ship entertainment, but there was the ocean, mango trees, and a deck of cards – simplicity was our best friend, and continues to be. Don’t get me wrong, we splurged on a luxury or two – ‘come home broke’ is my favourite travel motto around – but what really made those trips memorable was the lack of ‘stuff’. It’s been a dream of mine since I was a wee lass to sell my belongings, keep only a backpack full of essentials, and travel in the way my parents taught me. Traveling without the pre-packaged entertainment meant we always had to find our own, whether it was in each other, the locals, or nature. There’s a motivation to discover when you’re stripped of your comforts, and that’s the best part of traveling if you ask me. Funny though, how I get giddy thinking about one day being abroad with naught but a backpack – discovering, meeting, and filling every nook and cranny of my days with experiences – but fail to carry over these ideals into my dayto-day life. Until recently, I haven’t given my belongings a second thought. They were the things that filled my bedroom, my closet, my days; giving me a sense of identity and a source of entertainment when it rained. They were just there, part of my life, without much influence in the grand scheme of things. Or so I thought.
About a month before Mum and Dad left, our house was stripped almost entirely. All of my stuff was packed into a couple of containers and moved out to be stored elsewhere. Each day saw a different stranger knocking on the door and carting away our fridge, our furniture, our television, everything. The last two weeks before their departure, the Barks clan was left with four plastic camping plates, two spoons, four forks, one Queen-sized mattress, and not much else. And spending our weekends together in that empty house is the most fun we’ve had at home in a long time. We moved the mattress to the living room, leaving the bedrooms clean and untouchable because Mum had ‘spent all day cleaning in there’ and didn’t her rowdy bunch getting their fingerprints on the walls (you wouldn’t think this would be a legitimate concern in a house full of adults, but it really is). When your bedroom and, therefore, privacy is suddenly taken away from you, and none of you have any place except a common mattress to retreat to and sit on, bonding and creativity is inevitable. With many a dinner eaten on the floor, many a daytrip taken to just get out of the empty house, and many a giggle when you’re forced to share a spoon or drink wine out of a travel mug, the simplicity that I long for when I travel made an appearance in my home life. And I can’t believe it took me so long to discover that its magic doesn’t discriminate. While I’m far from being authentically ‘bare-bones’ just yet, I can’t help but recommend everyone give the simple life a go in one form or another. Whether you literally get rid of your day-to-day distractions or just ignore them for a bit, find a way to get back to the simple pleasures that life has to offer. Be with people you appreciate, go on a directionless drive just because, share one set of cutlery at the dinner table (I’m kidding, please don’t do this) – you might just find yourself converted. Have a lovely week, Laurien
3
PREZ SEZ
SRC
VICE-PREZ
SEZ
Hey guys, I hope all is well in the wonderful world of being a student. I know you are probably very stressed because something is due, or you are relieved because you just finished something and handed it in. It’s not long to go until it is mid semester break, so hold on. I got to learn about a new issue that students are having, and I wonder how many students are going through this. It was explained that in WG128, when you pull up the desk part of the chair, it has no support for students who are left handed because of the size and the way it is shaped. It made me start to think about how many other lecture theaters and class rooms have this problem. Then I wondered how many people are left handed. So I googled and it said 10 percent. Which means out of the 26 000 students AUT has, 2600 are left handed. Now, I think that is pretty cool! Let’s stick to the theme of the word ‘left’ and say, maybe if you are feeling left out, you can join the AuSM Volunteers. Trust me, they are some amazing people! People volunteer for many reasons, the most common of which is a desire to use their time to give back to their communities. They do so for no financial gain but they usually gain in other ways - for example, developing their skills, building networks of useful contacts, increasing their employability, enhancing their self-esteem and gaining insights into interesting career paths. Volunteering is a valid and important part of your career development and is a great way to gain work experience. It also looks great on your CV! But most importantly, you can meet new people and make new friends so you don’t feel left out. If you would like more information about volunteering with AuSM@AUT email volunteers@aut.ac.nz or join the Facebook Group. Remember guys, if you have any issues or need someone to talk to I am always here to help. You can contact me on Urshula.ansell@aut.ac.nz. “If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, and the right side of your brain controls the left side of your body, then left-handed people must be the only ones in their right minds.” ~ W.C. Fields Urshula Ansell x
SEZ
Being on the Student Representative Council this year has been an extreme privilege. For anyone who is looking to take their student involvement to a new level, to make a difference and meet some fantastic people, I suggest you all look into running for a position! This semester we have had so many great weeks dedicated to celebrating our diverse cultures here at AUT. Coming up this semester, we have the Tongan, Tuvalu, Fijian and Niuean Language Weeks. Now to it! I have always had respect for those who choose to better themselves academically. Even more so, those who choose to work at the same time as studying full time. However, this can lead to a problem that I am very much selfdiagnosed with: over commitment! Now this is something I struggle with quite a lot because, like many of you, either I need to pay more bills, or find it incredibly hard to stay still for a second. This can lead to a number of problems. Here a few thoughts on over commitment: Be realistic: As amazing as we all think (and some of us know) we are, we can only do so much. I like to think of our attention as a spotlight, and we can only shine on one thing at a time, everything else that we are not 100 percent committed to starts to darken around us. The key here is to be realistic and understand there is only so much that we are able to do at one time. Rest: If you are one of these overcommitted busyholic students, such as myself, sometimes we need to have a look at our clocks and remember how important sleep can be. Often times, by ignoring this precious treasure, we seem to turn zombie-like and become far less productive. Charge those batteries! Make sure your timetable is achievable: There is no point in saying yes to so many different things and failing at maintaining some of them. Make sure that what you set out is attainable, and organise your day before it starts! There is a season for everything: Sometimes things can’t change, be it work or uni or other commitments that we all have. I always remind myself that everything has an end, so we might as well enjoy the busy while we can and learn as much as we can from the process. Although in saying all of this, I am currently writing this on break in between one of my many jobs and a lecture… Stay safe, work hard and, better yet, play harder! Bronson Wilson
Anywhere Anytime
library.aut.ac.nz
5
COOL SHIT
THE SWEETEST THING Look no more, we’ve found you the Sugar Mama you’ve been hoping for! Lush has stepped up to the plate, and is ready to spoil you with this week’s sugar-sweet giveaway! “The Sweetest Thing” gift box (RRP $28.50) contains a vanilla-scented Shimmy Shimmy Glitter Bar, a sparkling blackcurrent, cherry, and coconut Sweetie Pie Shower Jelly, and a candyfloss-scented The Godmother Soap! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees! We have one to give away to the first person who can Facebook message Debate their name, campus, and who they’d like their celebrity Sugar Mama to be. (Laurien thinks she’d be pretty happy with Ellen DeGeneres).
TUTU TIME We have three double passes to the Melbourne Ballet to give away this week! You and a friend can take in enough prancing and dancing to keep you satisfied for months. The show takes place at the Bruce Mason Centre in Takapuna on August 20th – opening night! To be in to win just Facebook message us your name, campus, and a brilliant ballet-related pun.
BITE ME Debate is overflowing with vouchers for McDonalds, McCafe, and Burger King these days! A student’s dream, if you ask us. Help us get rid of them by emailing your name, campus, and how hungry you are on a scale of one to starving and be in to win your mixed bag of vouchers! (Though they will not come in an actual bag…we’re sorry.)
Librarian of the Week Fen Su
Hospitality & Tourism Law (1st & 2nd Yr LLB)
Hi, my name is Fen. I am one of the Liaison Librarians at AUT who looks after your information needs, and provides study and research support to help you achieve academic success. I have worked in the AUT Library for 8 years. My subject specialty is in Hospitality and Tourism. I studied my Masters in International and Hospitality Management, and graduated from AUT in 2005. Information literacy was a new concept to me when I started my studies 10 years ago. Now, it is an integral part of my responsibilities as a Liaison Librarian to help you find materials in the Library collections and beyond, and give you the skills to save time and effort in all your study and research. I am also happy to share my study experience and give advice on all aspects of Library services to get you started on the right path for your study.
LIL BROW WOW Big, beautiful, sculpted eyebrows are on trend in a big way. However, not everyone is born with lush face-framing brows, and then there are the repeat offenders that have enjoyed some intense plucking action over the years only to discover that now they want their bold beautiful eyebrows back, but the damage has already been done! RevitaBrow速 Advanced Eyebrow Conditioner delivers a unique patented blend of scientificallyadvanced natural peptides, revitalising plant extracts and nutritive rich vitamins that work with natural eyebrows to help beautify and enhance the look of brows that may appear sparse or damaged. The conditioner retails at $145 for a four month supply, and can be purchased at selected beauty therapy clinics nationwide or online at www.blackorchid.co.nz.
From the beginning of semester 2, I added Law to my Liaison role. I will be responsible for assisting students in the undergraduate Law programmes (LLB Years 1 & 2 and several BBus courses), in addition to my Hospitality and Tourism subjects. The law databases are a little different from many other resources and I would love to share information and knowledge to help you learn about them! If you have a quick question, please send me an email to the address provided on this page and I will get right back to you. Law students can also find me in the AUT Law Facebook groups. Need assistance on a complex research problem or simply trying to figure out where to begin your research? Just email or call me to set up an appointment or research consultation, and I can help you locate and use relevant resources, find and evaluate high quality information, and guide you in developing a research strategy for tackling your assignments. I look forward to meeting and working with you. All the best for your studies. Fen Su Liaison Librarian
fen.su@aut.ac.nz 921 9999 ext 8540 City Campus Library, Room WA301
7
Te Mana o Aotearoa
New Zealand Pride Matthew Cattin | Illustration by Tyler Hinde As an NZ/European/Pakeha, I must admit I feel a little bland every time I fill out a census form. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore being a Kiwi, and I’m proud as proud can be of our teeny wee land at the bottom of the globe… I just feel like a bowl of boiled potatoes at a potluck dinner – bland, unspectacular and loaded with carbs. Think about it, though. We Kiwis speak English with perhaps the least exotic accent around (excluding Australians of course), our flag misrepresents us as Australia’s bitch, and 90 per cent of the world genuinely thinks we are hobbits. And don’t get me started on our cuisine… A typical Kiwi meal is probably spag bol or a fucking burrito, and our most famous dessert (named after a Russian, naturally) consists of eggs, sugar and cream. Stop. I’m salivating. Being one of the newest countries around, we don’t exactly have the history of say, Italy or China, where the average house probably dates back twice as far as our first European settlers. We also missed out on the mythology and ancient religions of the Greeks and Egyptians, unless of course you count the works of Tolkien, as I do. In my veins runs Scottish, Swiss, Tasmanian and English blood – like most Kiwis I’m no pure bred. Yet, apart from opening presents on Christmas day, I celebrate nothing of those cultures. I guess I just don’t feel at all connected to them. I do not own a kilt, I occasionally get Swiss cheese on my
subs, I know nothing of Tasmania, and to be truthful I don’t quite know why the Queen is on our money. Or why our country loses its collective shit when one of the royal gingers reproduces. I do realise I’ve done nothing but shit on my culture for four paragraphs, but here’s the turning point. There is an aspect of our Kiwi culture that makes me stand a little taller with a loving ache in my chest. And no, it’s not the buzzy bee or gumboots, Split Enz or Marmite, as much as I love tar-like yeasty spread. It’s singing the Maori verse of our national anthem. It’s watching the All Blacks perform the haka. It’s eating a hangi at midnight on New Years. It’s sleeping on the floor in a marae. Hell, it’s even hearing John Campbell say “ka kite ano, and a very good evening”. It’s our precious Maori culture. See, as lovable as our Kiwiana culture is, our hokey pokey, jandals and L&P, it’s not exactly deep-rooted now is it? With a culture so young, we’ve had to define ourselves with our ingenuity in yeasty spreads and wire fences, because really, what else do we have? Apart, of course, from our multicultural ancestors. The closest thing to cultural celebrations we Pakeha have are ANZAC day (lest we forget), Waitangi (which some would rather forget) and of course, Queen’s birthday (which I always forget).
As a mixed-race descendent of settlers, I don’t celebrate anything of my heritage, but I do feel very connected to the Maori people. They are what make our country unique, and no matter what runs through your blood, if you’re a New Zealander, Maori is an aspect of your culture you ought to learn, respect and value. I’ve been lucky enough in my life to experience a tangi at a marae in Whangape, way the blazes up North. Although circumstances were upsetting, it was my first genuine (as in, non-tourist) experience of Maori culture, a memory I’ll carry with me forever. Everybody crashed on the marae floor while friends and relatives stayed up the whole night through sharing stories, songs, smiles and tears for the deceased. Nobody was alone in their grief, least of all this vanilla face right here and his family who were treated like whanau. I sincerely wish every Kiwi could have an authentic experience of the culture and see it for the values it represents – family, respect, generosity – rather than for how it is too often portrayed in the media. We have a unique treasure in our indigenous people, and I for one feel far more connected to the Maori culture than I do to the cultures of my heritage. Ka kite ano.
9
W H Y I GAV E A T H I E F MY BUSINESS CARD My neighbour had a strange thing in each hand when I responded to his ferociously loud, ‘shit’s going down’ kind of knock. Shawn Cleaver It’s about midnight on a Wednesday. I open the door and there’s my neighbour, with a plate of food in one hand, and a hoodie in the other. Thing was, the hoodie was currently occupied, by a 17-year-old lad with a guilty look on his face. “Bro, I just caught this guy breaking into your car! What should we do with him!?”
As I came to terms with what was going on, Gerrard mentioned,“We don’t call cops for this kind of thing.” I’ve heard this unwritten rule before. It’s usually when the person calling would rather avoid law enforcement themselves, which in Gerrard’s case is likely due to his recreational “side-business”.
There I was, knee-deep in a FIFA match on my Playstation, now all of a sudden I’m deciding some petty criminal’s fate? First off, we need to commend the badass-ness of my neighbour, Gerrard, who not only caught a criminal and hand-delivered him to my doorstep, but did it all while holding a plate of chicken wings.
Which justifies why he’s got CCTV for his driveway, which explains how he saw this wee punk breaking into my car on his security monitor, which also explains how he didn’t even have time to drop his dinner to bolt outside and nab him. It all makes sense now.
' S I N C E I WA S N I C E T O H I M H E M U S T H AV E F E LT S T I N K A B O U T B U S T I N G M Y C A R W I N D O W. M Y G U I LT M A N I P U L AT I O N WA S O N P O I N T. '
I shook a word out. “Okay, yeah I don’t think cops are what we need here either.” (Lies, they are exactly what we need here.) As I stumbled around for some more sentences to try to smooth over my obvious shock, who pipes up but the kid in the hoodie. “Honestly it wasn’t-“ He didn’t make it very far through his sentence. It was cut short by the most vicious back-hand I’d ever seen, courtesy of Gerrard. “Don’t you fuckin’ talk to him! You should be apologizing! You’re lucky it’s not my car!” Gerrard struck me as the kind of guy who’s car you wouldn’t want to be caught breaking into. Tattoos on both shoulders, snap-back and basketball singlet, accompanied by a face that I know has seen way more intense things than I’ll ever see. Dishing out pimp-slaps seemed routine, while it was the first bit of violence I’d seen in years. As the punk’s lip started to bleed, his getaway car rolled up. His accomplices who were looking for him. Gerrard left me with the boy at my doorstep to go staunch out the new visitors. “Are you his wheels? Pretty shit friends to leave your mate to get caught!” Etc etc… It’s just me and this rather pathetic looking kid. I tried to play good cop.“Look bro I don’t know what’s going on at home for you to feel like you need to do this kind of stuff, but whatever it is, you got to talk about it.” He looked shocked that I didn’t decide to lecture-shout at him about the money to fix my car. “Honestly sir it actually wasn’t me.” He even chucked in a “sir”. Even though he decided to start showing some respect we both knew he was full of it. Since I was nice to him he must have felt stink about busting my car window. My guilt manipulation was on point.
“Can I please get some ice for my lip?” It was bleeding a bit, Gerrard wasn’t playing tiddlywinks before, more like connect four. Connecting four knuckles to his jaw. I retreated to the kitchen and grabbed some ice. I also pulled out a business card and handed them both to him. “Bro if you’ve got no one to talk to about whatever’s going on, the reasons for all this, you can always email me and we can just chat about it.” His face lit up. Where he expected a hiding, a tiny bit of interest was shown in the decent man he could possibly become. Two reasons for handling it this way. First, he knows where I live. If I rough him up, guess who’s going to have the favour returned to him via his older brothers? And I prefer my cheekbones whole. Second, yes everybody is a bit insecure, but combine that with no positive role models, plus mates that bond over this sort of thing, and you’re gonna get sucked in. Call me a lofty leftwing-tree-hugger, but what he needs is positivity and belief. Whilst I was busy being Coach Carter, Gerrard was chasing the getaway car off our road. As the station wagon turned around to head for the way out, he threw his plate right into the path of the windscreen. Little bits of chicken and glass littered the street. Gerrards flatmate was also waiting at the end of the road for the car with a bigass rock, which he tossed into the path of the speeding car. A huge thud marked the end of their failed thieving mission in our hood. He didn’t email me. Hell, he might have thought I was a massive pushover. But at least he knows someone mildly gives a shit.
11
THE
WRITE WAY A How-to Guide for writing abstracts. Samira Kakh, AUT Doctoral Candidate, School of Language and Culture Generally, an abstract serves the function of “making your potential readers read” what you have written. If you are done writing a piece of “abstract-less” text (e.g., an assignment, a novel, an article for a magazine, a research article, a thesis, a dissertation, etc.), then maybe it’s a good idea to take a look at this article before beginning to write an abstract for it. Be reminded that, depending on what your text is, the type of abstract you should write may vary. But, here we are not going to teach you how to write different types of abstracts! Instead, we are going to provide you with some little hints to help you write any types of abstracts you may need to write at some time in the future. The first step to producing a good abstract involves writing it after you have finished writing your main text*! You should write it last, although, there is a high probability that your readers read it first! Why? It’s a valid question! This is because abstract is a kind of summary that represents the major ideas of your writing. To understand the structure of an abstract text, find an abstract written by another (preferably high-profile) author of a similar type of text that you intend to write an abstract for. As a rule of thumb, consider that an abstract just like many other types of paragraphs, has three main parts: 1) introduction, 2) body, and 3) conclusion (check the figure below). So, look at your selected abstract and try to spot these three parts.
The next step would be reading and rereading the abstract. Try to 1) figure out the type of content that is presented in each of the sentences of that particular abstract, and 2) keep asking yourself (as a reader of that abstract) what is the purpose of the author of writing particular sentences or including specific content. And then try to answer the following basic, but tricky questions. Answering these questions will help you to analyze your selected abstract, understand its purpose, and eventually come up with your very own checklist for writing an abstract. o How many main sections does this abstract have?
o What is the role of each specific section? o What tenses did the author use? o Did (s)he drag any particular sentences from the main text to the abstract? Why is that? (to answer this question, you may need to scan through the main text) o How long is it? o How detailed/technical is it? Final note, abstract is about highlighting that worthwhile idea of your text! *Apparently, some people write it first. They think it assists them with planning their main text.
WHAT’S STOPPING YOU? Aisha Hall When was the last time you did something for the first time? If you had to think about that for more than thirty seconds it could mean one of two things. 1) You, just like me, have a pretty poor memory, or 2) One could claim that you haven’t been truly “living” life.
So here I am, writing this article, and that is something new for me. Yes, it caused another moment of thinking academia was driving me to completely lose my mind. Yet again. (Last year’s insanity resulted in cutting off all my hair and dying it bright red, which in hindsight could have just been me rebelling against being an adult).
THE
POINT
IS,
TRYING
SOME-
Now you might not be the spontaneous type, or find great joy in straying from routine, and this is not a bad thing - but it does mean you could be missing out.
THING NEW DOESN’T HAVE TO
This weekend I spent fifty dollars on a memory foam pillow. Fifty dollars. On a pillow. I have never done that before, and as I was handing my card over, I felt shaky and ever so slightly guilty. What was I doing? Was I completely insane? Turns out it was one of the best decisions I’ve made thus far in my life.
ICOPTER FROM A GREAT HEIGHT,
The point is, trying something new doesn’t have to require jumping out of a helicopter from a great height, nor does it mean conquering your worst fears. It could simply be having toast for breakfast instead of cornflakes, because if it all turns out completely wrong, at least you tried, right? You’ll laugh about it later, after the trauma eventually wears off. What’s stopping you? Failure? Judgment? Fear? All perfectly reasonable excuses for bailing on something you’re unsure about. When you think about it, being embarrassed is probably one of the worst human emotions we’re burdened with. But we can’t live our very short lives being so concerned about effing up can we? Perfection is not everything. In a Forbes article I came across, they talked about getting stuck in a routine; we’re on a hamster wheel, and get locked on what has worked for us so far, therefore opting not to try anything new. Of course I immediately rolled my eyes at this, and deemed it wildly untrue, but as it turns out, upon further thought about why I do most of the things I do, it’s because I know they work, and the result will be what I want. There is no expecting the unexpected in sight, which is kind of a brain rattling thought that led to a whole lot of criticism on my life choices. I don’t want to be boring.
REQUIRE JUMPING OUT OF A HELNOR DOES IT MEAN CONQUERING YOUR WORST FEARS. As I started writing, I couldn’t stop thinking “I’m terrified. What have I done?! I do not have enough money to keep funding retail therapy for all these mistakes.” Yet the more I thought about what I was so scared of, the more it seemed insignificant. I reminded myself that I was a perfectly capable human being and that it was all in my head. And sometimes that’s true, that’s all it is, and you simply need to get out of your head and have a little belief in the fact that you’re you and you can do it. It’s our default setting to think that we can’t do things, but why is that? Really… why do we always say “I can’t”? We don’t want to be judged or made fun of, or worst of all, we don’t want to fail. If you stop thinking about what other people might think, and you try something new simply because you want to do it, it all seems a little more possible. You never know what could change your life. So if there’s something that’s on your mind that you’ve been wanting to do for a while now, but you think you’re lacking the courage to try it, don’t take my advice, take Nike’s. Just. Do. It.
13
RAISED
BY THE SYSTEM Anita Tranter | Illustration by Tyler Hinde
At about the age of five, I entered the Social Welfare system in New Zealand; I became a Ward of State. Thankfully a lot of their policies have changed since then, including their name which changed to Children and Young Persons Services (CYPS), and then to Child, Youth and Family Services (CYFS). My earliest memories of foster homes were usually positive. For example, I was allowed to stay up until 8pm on a Friday night which, for me, was really special! And I always knew what I’d be getting for lunch, exactly one sandwich, one apple and one Frisbee-sized chocolate-chip cookie. After the instability of my early home life, I really appreciated knowing and being prepared for things ahead of time. Common themes of foster homes were “(foster) kids” areas and “adults” areas. It became quite dehumanising though. If the caregivers had children of their own, their kids were permitted to enter these “adult” areas whenever they wished. Despite this, their kids were also free to enter the designated “kids” areas at any time as well. Other areas that were likewise segregated included bathrooms, fridges, lounges, doorways (yes, even doorways), and yards. I spent several months with a family on the North Shore who had two of their own children and many other foster kids and adoptees. They also had a fat ginger cat named C-fer Cat. This is the one home I can remember that had kids of their own without any segregation. The first thing they did when we got there was take us out and buy us a toy, anything we liked. At six years old I chose the amazing bathtime-fun Barbie, who came with cans of coloured foam to design dresses on her water-proof foam base skirt. Although this may seem an unusual memory to cherish, this particular toy was extra special because at no other foster home in my life did I ever receive my very own toy. My brothers and I contracted the chicken pox while there, but we were tended to with love, as children should be. They cared for us and acknowledged our feelings whether we were sick or scared. Most foster homes didn’t provide such luxuries as love and care to children.
Later, after I had become a wayward teen, I was again shoved through a number of short-term homes. One of these families, in the Hawkes Bay region, would eat McDonalds at the dinner table while the foster kids sat around watching them hungrily, choking down our boiled mince and dry mashed potatoes. At this home, foster kids were made to feel especially unwanted and unloved. We could not enter the caregiver’s lounge, bathroom or bedrooms. We had two kids to a room, but whether we were sharing with another kid or an empty bed, we were not permitted to enter our rooms during the day. This may seem unimportant, however most people (children not withstanding) taken away from the only people they know would feel like crying. These kids’ worlds had been suddenly turned upside-down and sometimes crying it out is all it takes for a kid to realise that things could actually be worse. In the gated lounge that was the foster kids day area, there were literally no books or toys. There was a 14 inch TV which only had one channel, and even then had only awful reception. There were three or four hard chairs if we felt like getting “comfortable” – no such luxuries as sofas or even bean bags. There was not a poster or picture to be seen on the wall. Our lives were full of grey areas, and this “kids lounge” was no exception. I never watched much TV; never liked it. I loved to read. As they had no concept of keeping kids entertained, I usually sat daydreaming about how I would exact my revenge on this horrible family. However, one afternoon I decided to paint my nails instead. As I was doing so, the male caregiver started growling at me through the gate about cutting my nails at night. I held up the paint and said I wasn’t cutting, and that the sun was still out and therefore his cultural taboos were probably still safe. At this point, he swiftly opened the gated, stormed his entire 160kg body over to me and struck my face! It was so fast for such a large man, so unexpected. I put my things away and quietly went to bed. The female caregiver came down and told me I had better get my ass up and back to the lounge to wait for my dinner, but I assured her I wasn’t hungry, and as it was now “night” time, I was content to go to bed. When she finally left me alone, I cried and cried and cried. Then I prayed for God to please take me home, or just let me die rather than live in this shitty, unjust, cruel world where nobody loved me, and nobody wanted me.
Thankfully,
my prayers were answered. One way or another. After school the following day, I marched down to the CYPS office and told them what had happened. I don’t think they believed me, however they moved me immediately to another home, probably to avoid any media leakage. When I was able to settle in a longer-term home where I spent the majority of my mid-teens (age 14-17), I found myself being cared for by an amazing Maori woman who could never have any children of her own. She and her husband moved into the massive thirteen bedroom home in Ranui and began caring for both girls and boys, but after a few conflicts between the husband and a few angry boys, they decided to just run a girls home. This was the highlight of my life (until I became a mother). The rules were fair and not made up as we went along, she had realistic expectations, and just because you had dropped out of school did not mean you could stay in bed all day, you would still be getting out of bed for the school-run. Aunty Lynda was wise and caring, she always knew just what to say to cheer you up and she was never short of hugs. She treated you as her own whether you liked it or not. We had two fridges, but this time it was different – One was filled with everything imaginable to eat, which we could help ourselves to when we were hungry, the other was filled with stuff for making dinner, and unless we wanted to cook, we stayed out of that one. The kitchen was massive and free to all. My sisters and I spent endless hours baking. We had a computer room with about three computers, so we could do homework, research stuff, keep in contact with our families, play games, whatevs. She was kind enough to put a 14 inch TV in each bedroom, so if you were sick or menstrual or gloomy, you could just go and have some alone time and she didn’t mind. Aunty Lynda would happily take us down to the DVD store to bicker over the DVDs we wanted to hire, then we’d have sleep-overs in the lounge where we all got out mattresses and sleeping bags and would watch movie after movie, and piss ourselves laughing each time someone cracked out a fart. But most importantly,
Aunty Lynda would be there snoring on the couch, sleepingover right along with us, though she always disapproved of our farting competitions. She took us out bowling and to karaoke, we had fast-food for dinner, and all kinds of other normal things you do with kids, but most of all, she treated us with the utter love and respect that any human being should be entitled to. Although a lot of my experience under the custody and guardianship of the State was unpleasant, it made me the person I am today. I appreciated the homes where I was able to just be a normal kid, and living with Aunty Lynda renewed my interest in life. Her wisdom gave me something to aspire to. I have had so many “parents” in my life that hopefully I know what to do and what not to do in any given situation, and although I still occasionally mourn for the happy childhood I should have had, I always bear in mind that it could have been worse. I am using my parenting experience to change the cycle and turn things around. Kids still get fostered in New Zealand, and homes are often cold, lonely places lacking in love and other essentials. Kids may arrive in the middle of the night with nothing but the clothes on their backs and a heart full of sadness. Foster Hope is a charity that puts together bags for kids arriving in foster care. They contain things like toothbrushes, pyjamas and toy. If you would like to donate anything you can check out their website www.fosterhope.co.nz or their Facebook page www.facebook.com/fosterhopenz.
17
Ultimate Catharsis Rachel Barker
There are often moments in life where I find myself inevitably crashing. I have a lot of feelings, you see. Like the girl in Mean Girls who just wants everybody to make a cake of rainbows and smiles and eat and be happy, etc. I feel that. I understand. Everything nowadays can be overwhelming (and fun fact for anyone interested in 10 Things I Hate About You trivia, I recently learned that you can, in fact, just be whelmed!), university schedules seem to hold a complete disregard to anyone wanting mental stability, and living with various amounts of other dirty teens/ twenty-somethings mean that waking up drenched in vomit, alcohol and KFC wrappers isn’t as rare as you’d hope. Then there’s organising student loans, paying rent, weekly food shops, and all the other ‘real adult’ parts of life. Things can get pretty chaotic pretty easily.
You will not look beautiful for sure, but you will probably feel fantastic afterwards. Crying has been proven to lower stress, improve your mood, flush out toxins, and increase creativity. Does this not sound amazing???
Crying has
b e e n p rove n to
So where is the release, the escape from the chaos? In what may seem like the lamest life advice ever, I present to you the secret to survival in these tough times. Tears. This may strike you as an odd way to feel better, but trust me, there is nothing like a bloody good cry. Soak your skin in the goodness of all that potassium, sodium and lactoferrin. Be loud, be embarrassing, by ugly (but probably in private).
l owe r s t re s s , i m p r o v e yo u r mood, flush out toxins, and increase c r e a t i v i t y. I used to be one of those people that was all “crying is for losers, wtf I never cry, ew”, until one day all the pent up emotion became too much and I had a massive breakdown (hahahaha such fun) over what an awful place the world is. I will never forget my mum telling me I am an ugly crier, which is totally true, but didn’t totally help in the moment.
But here’s the thing: no matter how you think it’s going to make you look physically or emotionally, don’t be afraid to give in. Don’t fear your feelings, or you’ll just end up damaged in a different way. A study performed at the University of Florida found that crying is more effective than any antidepressant on the market. A good cry improved the mood of 88.8 percent of weepers with only 8.4 percent reporting that crying made them feel worse. I have found crying, along with a good cuppa green tea and a pen in hand to be the ultimate catharsis, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to be sad before or during the actual process of tearing up. I have been at work serving an old man and felt my eyes brimming with a tear or two when he dropped 50 cents on the ground, I have released more than a few tears seeing my friends succeeding in their own lives, and I one hundred percent wept on my laptop alone in my room at 1am when (spoilers) Jon Snow lay in a pool of his own mysteriously wolf shaped blood. The point of all this, though, is there is no shame in a good cry, no matter how sentimental or seemingly irrational the reason for it is. I encourage you, men, women, children to pour yourself some tea, run a bath, or walk up some solitary land mass and weep till your heart’s content.
L U K E WA R M B A D A S S Michael Watton
Welcome to Auckland! A city in which you will find quadruple-shot-flat-white hipsters, people with more tattoo than bare skin, and some 60 000 tertiary students experiencing real life tradeoffs between finishing their socioeconomics reports, and having another beersie. 59 999 other students like yourself that thought they had found their place in the world, until they finished high school, left home in pursuit of a way to become an overnight sensation, to find out their only real friends are noodles and instant coffee. You were sussed, until your dreams to become something were delayed by a four year stopover in the limbo also known as tertiary education. Secretly, I think we are all looking for a way to achieve the Kiwi dream. The one that Big Wednesday offered us every week, the boat, the Toyota Hilux, a bach in Whangamata. We spend so much of our time looking at how we fit into the future, and how the future fits around us that we miss out on the reality of our circumstances. In a monochrome society, we strive to stand out so that we are noticed, and then maybe we will get picked first for the metaphorical football team that is the 0.1 percent of people living on Victoria Avenue, Remuera. We have, and will always have a battle with being who we are, and being accepted. We get so caught up in trying to be our own individuals that the context is missed. -With context, the library is a place to go to study. We want our degrees. Without context, it’s a place that losers go to read books because they have no friends.
- With context the five dollar ‘nice dumplings’ are the best food around. Our student allowance doesn't allow us to afford anything else! Without context, the five dollar ‘nice dumplings’ are a quick way to end up in the ER. We get so caught up thinking that we want to be accepted, that we don’t realise it isn't what we want at all. The thing that we miss is, there is a large difference between being accepted and approved of. For example, we accept that Len Brown is the Mayor, but approving of what he does is borderline ludicrous. We accept that, yes, double brown is 20 dollars for 18, but we only approve of the taste when it suits us. You can accept your D grade, but you will never approve of it. Approval is conditional. In our search to be approved of, we isolate ourselves, and get frustrated that society doesn't accept you for who you are. Yeah we accept you, but we don't approve of what you do, because what you do is stupid. If you are looking for approval, stop trying to play hard ball and complain when society isn’t catching up to your ideals quick enough. We are so worried about what people think about us, that we don't stop to realise that the majority of people are in the same boat as us. Worrying about themselves so much that they don't have time to give us a second thought. Someone once told me, “you can’t go for a swim and not want to get wet”. You want to be different? Balls up and realize that you can’t want to be away from the status quo and expect people to approve of what you do. Don’t be a lukewarm badass. 19
Hike, Float, Drink Julie Cleaver
After hiking the Tongariro Crossing, what better way to relax your body than floating down a river getting absolutely hammered? That was my Easter weekend, and I’ll give you detailed instructions on to have the same adventure. First of all, you’re going to need to find accommodation, preferably in Taupo. I’m lucky I had a friend to stay with, but if you’re not as privileged, there are always hostels or cozy covered slides in the local playgrounds. Next, book a shuttle, which will take you to the beginning of the Tongariro Crossing and pick you up at the end. It costs 50 dollars and comes pretty early in the morning at around 6am, so try not to have a late one the night before. Get a cool, spontaneous group of people together and some closed shoes and do the Tongariro Crossing! It’s got beautiful views, unbelievably bright cyan lakes, and you can even walk up Mt Doom from the Lord of the Rings (but it’s an absolute nightmare of a climb, I wouldn’t recommend it). After ten hours of hiking, you’ll probably come home and collapse. Eat some junk food or get on the piss, just so your body finds its equilibrium and doesn’t become too healthy or Zen. The next day is the fun part. You and your posse will need an air mattress each (or one between two, if you want to get cozy). They’re only about 20 dollars from the Red Shed, so it’s a pretty cheap day out. Split the costs for some rope, a plastic container, a pump, and a shit load of booze, and you’re good to go! Drive to the entrance of the Waikato River in Taupo (off Tongariro Street, near Riverside Park) blow up your mattresses and tie them all together into a circle using the rope. Whilst you are trying to remember those knots you learned in Scouts, get two of your more organised friends to drive to the other side of the river (157 Huka Falls Road, at the freedom camp ground), where you will be ending the journey. Get them to take two cars, leave one there and drive back in the other. Easy.
When everyone is together, and the mattresses are securely tied, place the booze in the plastic container and the container in the middle of the mattresses. Jump aboard your beds and let the crystal clear river take you down stream! Float the box between your beds and get drunk on the water, pirate style. Warning: be careful of rocks. There are a few poking out and we’ve all seen the Titanic. Luckily we had a resident mermaid who steered us to safety every time. I suggest finding one as well. Also, try your best to avoid getting hit by a flying human attached to a bungee cord. This is a real hazard (bloody New Zealand) but the workers at the Taupo Bungee will most likely see your fleet coming and make that nervous sucker wait at the top for even longer. The coolest thing about this whole mission is that near the end of the river, you will arrive at a natural thermal springs. The steamy water picturesquely cascades down the rocks and mixes into the Waikato River. This gives you a perfect place to warm up after freezing your ass off floating down the river. Plus, the hot water makes you get way drunker, which is a bonus if you were strapped for cash and could only afford to share half a Scrumpy with your mate. After soaking for as long as your frost bitten toes desire, jump back on your inflatable vessel and sail for a few more minutes until you reach a riverbank with a rope swing. Jump off there and let the non-drunk people organise the car situation. In the meantime, Tarzan around on the swing, sing very loudly, have group hugs and splash around in the river. Fun times! Added bonus: if the stars align, you may also get to meet the local red necks who float down the river on a motorized picnic table. They’re much friendlier than they look. Do you have a crazy adventure you would like to share? Email it on through to laurien.barks@ aut.ac.nz 21
20 & 21 AUG Bruce Mason Centre, Takapuna Book at ticketmaster.co.nz
Service fees apply*
SHAKA BRAH Dylan Codlin
Shaka brah, my name is Dylan and I am the President of the AUT Shaka Club. For those of you who are not privy to the old surfer’s lingo, “Shaka” or “Hang loose” is a term closely related to, and used by those engaged in surf culture. Hence the name of our club. However, the surf life is not all that is engaged with under AUT Shaka’s activities. Surfing, snowboarding and skateboarding are also covered under us, as we enjoy the Shaka life year round. AUT Shaka is all about having fun, and we have a lot to offer students at AUT. The AUT Shaka executive committee are a rad group of people and are dedicated to making the most of nature’s best year round, whether it be ripping the pipe, shredding the gnar or pulling off a Barley grind. The AUT Shaka executive committee and myself have been busy over the past month, firstly preparing for the Bali surf trip, then building the club’s half-pipe, and lastly planning the club’s weekend in the snow getaway which is happening in semester two. So if you are keen to join, let us know! This club is not restricted to those who already know how to surf, skate and snowboard. We are more than happy to help you learn how to do all three, and can organise to do so by request. So if your keen, let us know, and we will get something sorted for you. If you are interested in getting involved with us in either learning how to Surf, snowboard or skate, or you just wanna hang with other Shaka’s, then please contact us on the club email address autshaka@gmail.com
President:
VicePrez Skateboarding:
VicePrez Snowboarding:
Dylan Codlin
Luke Campbell
Mitch Prout
Left Club Secretary:
Right Club Treasurer:
VicePrez Surfing:
Ellie Harwood
Paige Harwood
Leish Cheong
Club Operations Co-Ordinator:
Taila Johnston
23
T W I T T E R FUELED
WONDERLAND Ethan Sills
It has been a weird few weeks in the world of social media. In the last month alone, I have seen Taylor Swift misread a tweet by Nicki Minaj. I’ve seen Dom Harvey, Chrystal Cherney, and a photo divide the country, and I’ve seen an American dentist have his life ruined about as quickly as it took for him to slay Cecil the lion. That’s just the tip of the ever-growing iceberg that is Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and all that comes with it. It has become an almost hourly occurrence that something on social media will be instantly translated, cross the internet, and turn up as a news article somewhere around the globe. Why am I bringing this up? Well, as this all happened, I started reading a very interesting book. So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed by English writer, Jon Ronson, is an examination of, funnily enough, people that have been publicly shamed, and the effects of it. It isn’t exclusively about the online world, but Ronson looks at several cases where Twitter and 4Chan were used to tear people apart. In these online-based chapters, Ronson raises some philosophical questions about our increasing cyberbased habits. In one particular chapter, he dissects the events leading to the fall of Justine Sacco, an American PR practitioner who, in December 2013 tweeted: “Going to Africa. Hope I don’t get AIDS. Just kidding. I’m white!” She turned off her phone and got on the plane, not realising what had happened. When she turned it back on several hours later in South Africa, she quickly realised her life was over. The joke had been retweeted thousands of
times and she was trending on Twitter, but everyone was tearing her apart in a collective rage at what she had said, and her entire online profile was being attacked - its bloody corpse on display for everyone to see. Most disturbingly, many people were livetweeting the progress of her flight, commenting on how excited they were for when she landed, and learned what was happening.
I have an issue with this new form of journalism and social discussion that Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, whatever have created. Reading it (while I think her joke was in poor taste, even if she intended it to be satirical), I couldn’t help but be horrified at what had happened. Not necessarily the public reaction (people are cruel, that’s nothing new), but the way the media reacted. Ronson includes several quotes and references to articles that popped up on Buzzfeed and Vogue, using Sacco as a case study in what became a stream of opinion pieces that followed in the days after the incident erupted. As I read what happened to Sacco, I couldn’t help but draw comparisons to everything unfolding around me.
It is now commonplace for these social media events to become a source for news fodder, whether it be one musician misreading another’s tweet, or some random woman sending an off-colour joke. The likes of Twitter and Facebook have seemingly becoming less about social expression and interaction and more places for publications to mine for material, manufacturing controversies and churning out opeds in a desperate attempt to stay relevant. I suppose the part that bothers me is how quickly news outlets, and therefore us, move on from these stories. Taylor and Nicki were big at the time, but there will probably be some other ‘celebrity feud’ drumming up dozens of dissections via opinion pieces by the time this is printed. A number of valid points about the representation of black artists in the music industry were raised during that whole incident, but will anything be done with it? Justine Sacco said something fairly stupid, but her story simply became an anecdote rather than inspiring any change in online behaviour. People will likely just read one opinion piece, possibly debate it for a few hours, and then move on to the next ‘scandal’ whenever that erupts. And the media is letting it happen. I have an issue with this new form of journalism and social discussion that Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, whatever have created. We seem to be spiralling further and further into a Twitter-fuelled Wonderland where every tweet or status released into the world is a source for some gossipy story or used to fuel a news article. The deeper we go down this rabbit hole, the harder I think it will be for us to come out.
This issue may just annoy me as a journalism student, as I know that soon I will be expected to mine social media for possible stories and quotes just to keep whatever publication I land at happy and relevant. But mostly I dread what this is doing to our society. There is something quite wrong with a world that is shaped solely by what’s trending on social media. Whether it’s a dead lion, a crotch shot or a photo of a dress, every issue is now only as relevant as the hashtag attached to it. Yes, social media can change the world: we saw it with Arab Spring, we saw it with #BlackLivesMatter. Yet it seems that we only let social-media-driven discussions last more than a few hours when there’s a war or riot involved. The smaller issues, the ones that end up playing out solely online, just get washed aside with no one really achieving anything. Of course, much of that has to be blamed on us for moving so quickly ourselves. But that doesn’t mean journalism has to do the same: if media outlets paused and took more time out of their days to fully hash out the issues, rather than merely reacting and moving on, then some of these issues might actually go somewhere other than the top of what’s trending. Because at the end of the day, when everyone simply fights to stay relevant, no one actually wins. If people tried to set the conversation rather than get shaped by it, then maybe we would see some progress. If not, then there are plenty of incoherent tweets out there just waiting to be over analysed and forgotten.
25
STOP
Savannah Welsh Mainstream music is dramatically falling down an almost completely vertical slope. Basically, it’s being pushed over a cliff. What happened to the days where music was sweet and innocent? Where music was about love, but in a cheesy and sappy kind of way. Those songs that made you smile and reminisce about happy memories. Instead, the 21st century has discovered the oh-such-joy of objectifying women. And now it’s all “Women do the cooking, women do the cleaning” and “Let me see that booty work”. Listening to the radio or turning the TV onto a music channel is now a repetitive trash talk about females. It’s awful that the next generation is growing up with the perception that women have to cook, clean, and believe that males run the world. Worst thing is, not only is it male artists singing these bad influence infused lyrics, but female artists are doing it too. It’s hard when such hugely admired artists are writing songs that are going against feminism and contradicting other things they’ve previously said. People like Beyoncé go from saying, “Who run the world, girls” to “When you’re thirsty and need love, I’ll give it up”. Feminism has become a huge thing in today’s society but I’m shocked that the music industry is making money off songs that are promoting the opposite. We need more artists like Lorde to come out and disrupt the so called norm and make people listen to lyrics that show us how the luxe life doesn’t need to be all gold chains, diamonds and following men, and her life is a leading example of this. We don’t need to be proud of our address but you don’t want to be sucked into the love club where you think you need to be in with the rich cool kids either. Her brutally honest to sarcastic lyrics will forever inspire me. People need to get back to listening to music that matters or at least that makes sense and doesn’t portray negative ideas. They need to help encourage the right things and destroy how the world we live in is male dominated.
I don’t want 10 year olds dancing around their house singing “My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns hun”. Yes, I understand that there will always be negative music out there with songs that have sneaky hidden metaphors, but I think the industry has become slack and needs to sharpen up and produce decent music again.
I DON’T WANT 10 YEAR OLDS DANCING AROUND THEIR HOUSE SINGING “MY ANACONDA DON’T WANT NONE UNLESS YOU GOT BUNS HUN”. The new Apple music currently has 11 million listeners only five weeks after launching. Yes, it’s still in its 3 month free trial so it is likely the number will decrease once listeners have to pay monthly. However this is still a huge amount of people worldwide. I do commend Apple for this new exciting way to find music. It shows you what’s new, it provides you with all genre radio stations, and learns what you like to listen to. But with this easy access to music anywhere at anytime, it is also supplying these 11 million people with as many careless songs as they wish to listen too. All I can ask is do you really like the songs you’re listening too and the messages they portray? If not try something new. Hop in your DeLorean and set that flux capacitor back in time, or try a genre or radio station you’ve never listened to before. Stop hanging out with the wicked kids. Perhaps I’ll see you in the 80’s.
IN SHORT
FINAL DRAFT OF TPP 'TOTALLY AMAZING'
SERCO INVESTIGATES SERCO, FINDS NOTHING AMISS
Kieran Bennett
Kieran Bennett
Prime Minister John Key has come forward in the last stages of the Trans Pacific Partnership negotiations to assure critics and supporters alike that the agreement was nothing short of 'fucking mind-blowing'.
Amid continuing allegations of prisoner abuse, illegal fight rings and serving pork on the Sabbath, prison management company, SERCO, has come under heavy investigation by prison inspection company, SERCO.
For the past five years, leaders from over 11 different economically significant countries have been negotiating what would become the largest trade deal of its kind in history. New Zealand was also invited for some reason. The trade deal would involve hundreds of different clauses, from copyright law, to relaxing tariffs around dairy exports. However, there has been some strong opposition to the deal, namely due the full text not being released for any kind of scrutiny. Critics of the deal have conceded that while the word of various political leaders was a great guarantee, they would prefer to have a closer look at the text, just so they could confirm how honest most political figures were.
Several months ago, cell phone footage was released from within Mt Eden prison, showing prisoners taking part in illegal fight rings. In addition to the fights, guards employed by SERCO were seen placing bets on the fights. The fights have been described by inmates as “brutal” and “sick”, while the betting has been described as “fucking rigged” and “frankly a little bit soft cock”. No one guard or prisoner has been pinpointed as the ring leader, however emerging accounts lead to the conclusion that this is not the first fighting ring that has been established in Mt Eden prison.
A closer look at the deal, however, has not been forthcoming, with many leaders not wanting to spoil the ending and feeling that looking at the deal as it was negotiated would ruin the narrative “oomph” of the whole deal. Following talks in Maui however, the final draft of the TPP has been released for exclusive reading by world leaders. Prime Minister John Key almost immediately came forward to describe his “heart pounding” reading of the deal, saying that it was “quite the page turner” and that he was impressed with “the giant-ass twist” at the end. He then went on to predict that a movie of it would be made soon and that he hoped that Hong Kong actor, Chow Yun Fat would play his character. A literary expert has obtained a leaked copy of the agreement and agreed with Mr Key’s assessment, however they felt the ending where the proletariat became victim to a pseudo-feudal class once again was more than a little depressing.
Following these allegations and wide spread protest, SERCO has welcomed SERCO to inspect the prison in what it describes as a “show of good faith and a demonstration of overall ethicallityness”. SERCO has patted SERCO on the back for being so welcoming of inspection and says that preliminary inspections are positive with no sign of SERCO having committed any wrongdoing or having broken any of the SERCO guidelines that SERCO follows in order to comply with SERCO. Minister of Corrections Sam Lotu-Iiga is welcoming the inspection, having just been cleared by himself of any wrongdoing on his part.
27
VOLUNTEERS THE TRUE ZOOPER HEROES Matthew Cattin
As a cub, I dreamed of one day being a courageous palaeontologist like Dr Alan Grant. Heck, I could even spell palaeontology – a word I struggle with today. When I grew a little wiser, I realised that despite Spielberg’s fantasies, dinosaurs simply aren’t coming back, so I shifted my focus to the more tangible of wild creatures - animals. With the help of Microsoft’s Dangerous Creatures, Rod Campbell’s lift-the-flap classic Dear Zoo and a mini library of animal books bought with birthday money, I became quite the encyclopaedia on all things furry, feathered and scaled. It’s a passion that has stayed with me, and although I never made it as a zookeeper or crocodile hunter, I still love a day spent at Auckland Zoo, pondering my childhood dreams. When the opportunity arose to spend a day with the zoo’s volunteers, eight-year-old Matthew looked up from his animal books in a nostalgic corner of my brain, and I responded eagerly, “YES”. And so it was that on an exceptionally typical Auckland winter’s day, I paid a visit to the zoo.
help deliver gifts across the world. Aged between 18 and 86, the diverse bunch work one day a week from ten til three – an astounding commitment considering there is no money changing hands. They are there to be involved, to learn, to give back, and to educate the zoo’s many visitors about wildlife, conservation, and sustainability.
I
Q U I C K LY
HOWEVER, ZOO’S
200+
LEARNED, THAT
THE
REGULAR
VOLUNTEERS ARE A HUGE FAC TO R I N I T S S U C C E S S . I spent my day wandering around the beautiful grounds (between rain squalls of course), speaking with the volunteers, and learning a whole lot about how they spend their days.
To be honest, before my visit, I had no idea volunteering at the zoo was even a possibility. I quickly learned, however, that the zoo’s 200+ regular volunteers are a huge factor in its success.
I won’t lie to you, I may have imagined zoo volunteering would mean cuddling red pandas to sleep and giving giraffes neck rubs, but the light of hindsight has proven me a fool. Most of the work involves visitor engagement, and a large part of that is education.
Dressed in a festive red jumper, the volunteers can be found around the zoo every day of the year but Christmas, when I imagine they take the day off to
One of the highlights of my day was an exchange I overheard at the zoo’s newest enclosure, Te Wao Nui - a precinct that contains six different native
New Zealand habitats. We were checking out the endangered takahe when a young school group came through – can’t have been older than six or seven years old. “The takahe is the second rarest bird in New Zealand. Do you know what our most endangered bird is?” asked a volunteer. “The kiwi?” suggested one youngster. “No, it’s the kakapo,” responded his mate. Needless to say, I was pretty impressed. As Whitney Houston once sang, “I believe the children are our future”, and to see the kids’ wide eyes as they check out a volunteer’s kiwi egg, their smiles as they hide vegetables in cardboard boxes to feed the Kunekune pigs, their jaws drop as they touch the nylon-like hair from an elephant’s tail… It’s all pretty special stuff, and in those instances, I can see exactly what appeals so much about volunteering.
THE
ANIMALS
AMBASSADORS
IN FOR
ZOOS
ARE
THE
IN
THE
THOSE
WILD, THERE TO INSPIRE AND EDUC ATE THE
WORLD’S
PREDATOR,
MOST
HUMANS,
NOTORIOUS AND
MOST
I M P O R TA N T LY, TO M A K E U S C A R E . As well as visitor engagement, the volunteers also help prepare the food for the zoo’s many creatures. Each animal has its own behaviour enrichment programme – usually involving food and some kind of challenge
(i.e. tying shelled peanuts in rope for the orang-utans to unravel) and it’s a constant job to develop new ideas to keep the animals on their toes, hooves, talons or claws. So, more or less parenting before the invention of television. With the majority of the world’s animals in decline, zoos are so much more than sanctuaries. While they used to be cages for human entertainment, they have evolved to become habitats, vital for the very existence of our endangered species. The animals in zoos are the ambassadors for those in the wild, there to inspire and educate the world’s most notorious predator, humans, and most importantly, to make us care. After spending a day with the volunteers, I could never look at our zoo the same way. I had no idea just how many folks of all ages and backgrounds dedicate a part of every week to making the zoo what it is. There is so much passion, and so much pride in all that they do, and it will be impossible not to notice the sea of red jerseys spread all the way around the grounds in future visits. To see so many people sacrificing their time to volunteer really does make me melt inside. To see them teaching the kids about the dangers of deforestation, of palm oil and of poaching, and to see the kids take it all in with eager expressions, it gives me hope for the future. Zoo volunteers, I take my hat off to you. Note: if any of y’all students are interested in volunteering, check the Auckland Zoo website for details.
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A Lust for MUSIC and a SCHOLARSHIP for HOLLYWOOD AUTinterNZ Meet Bekah, singer-songwriter, AUT alumni and recipient of the first AUT InterNZ scholarship to intern at the world renowned Paramount Recording Studios in Hollywood during 2014. Set to release her first EP next month, she recently touched down in Auckland after a year living in the City of Angels and working with legends of the recording industry. “AUT flew me out to LA in February 2014 with a one year working visa, two suitcases and a lust for the music industry,” she says. Bekah – also known as Rebekah Smith – made herself so useful during her internship that she was offered a job when it ended. By day, she was setting up equipment, getting the studio ready for sessions. “I got to see behind the scenes of the recording industry and learned about the roles of different people within the industry and what they do,” she says. Outside of hours, Bekah was deliberate about the way she spent her spare time: connecting with a variety of producers she met at the studio, developing her personal style as an artist and laying down tracks with the some big names of the music business including Grammy nominated producer Rich Reitz. “It was honestly the most amazing experience. I learnt so much about the music and recording industry and met some pretty incredible people.”
Back in Auckland since March, Bekah has big plans for her future. Right now she is putting the final touches on the EP she recorded before leaving LA for an October release. And she is putting the skills she developed as a video production major in her communication studies degree to work: “I’ll be posting some exciting video content through my Facebook and Youtube page every Wednesday as a little appetizer,” she says. You can track Bekah down on the promotion circuit at venues around Auckland this spring: her soulful, urban pop melodies will be heard at open mics and singer songwriter nights. Then, she plans to head back to LA to record a full album in 2016 where she hopes to cross paths with the 2016 recipient of the same scholarship. To anyone thinking of applying for an AUT interNZ scholarship, Bekah says: “Do it! It is honestly the most amazing and crazy experience. If you are lucky enough to get the opportunity to take part, embrace it with wide open arms and expand your horizons. Jump right in and immerse yourself in American culture. I met some wonderful people who I know I will be friends with for life.” Sample BEKAH’s sweet sounds on social media: Soundcloud/bekah_xyz facebook.com/bekahmusicnz Instagram/bekah_xzy
AUT interNZ is your first destination for the best internship opportunities in New Zealand and overseas, exclusive to AUT students. Applications for 18 scholarships to intern across a variety of industries in the US are open through August to AUT students completing their degree during 2015. Visit internz.aut.ac.nz to find out if you are eligible 31
Amelia Petrovich I am fortunate enough to come from a basically chill family background. For the most part, the five of us get on well, we’ve never had any major rifts or awkward situations, nobody (so far) has come home with a black market drug lord as a fiancée, and we all take turns unloading the dishwasher. Most of the time, family life is sublime and serene.
Basically, Piff proved that more financial security comes hand in hand with fewer manners when it comes to Monopoly, decreasing our tendency to cooperate and empathize with others during the game. Doing well in Monopoly may be fun, but it literally morphs you into a loud, greedy ball of lame- crazy right?
However, my seemingly idyllic clan is soiled by one addiction and one addiction only… fierce, relentless games of Monopoly.
WH Y I S I T TH EN , TH AT A
It doesn’t matter how sweet and loving we all are during the week, if a game of Monopoly is suggested, come Friday or Saturday our pack mentality turns to shit and we go absolutely feral on each other. I know it’s widely accepted that Monopoly is a ruthless game, but I’ve often wondered if my family in particular takes things a little too far. None of us are above distracting another player to prevent them from noticing the money we owe, and I’ve taken part in games where people deal in literal real-world blackmail rather than property cards and railway lines. Why is it then, that a mere board game can turn my loving family into evil dickheads? Social psychologist and TED Talk-er, Paul Piff, reckons he knows, and the explanation is one I feel like I should have deduced myself a long time ago. Simply put, feeling wealthy (even if just for the duration of a Monopoly game) changes our behavior. Piff studied the effects of Monopoly by rigging a bunch of games and giving some players a priori advantages (like more money for passing go or a greater number of dice to play with). What he found was advantaged players displayed “dramatic” behavioral changes after just fifteen minutes of game play. These were the people who were more likely to bend the rules and moved their pieces around the board more forcefully. They were also generally louder and less considerate of other players, even taking more pretzels in between turns than anybody else.
M ERE BOA RD GA M E C A N TU RN M Y LOV I N G FA M I LY I N TO EV I L D I C KH EA D S ? Despite what it does to our capacity for empathy and all that other good stuff though, the truth remains that most people do still want to be Monopoly masters. There’s also been a bit of research and calculation surrounding the most effective way to tackle a round of Monopoly, particularly pertaining to which colour squares are the best to spend your cash on. Monopoly is always partly chance, but it seems that whatever way you slice it, orange and red properties are a pretty safe bet. Sure, they aren’t the most expensive in the game but because people end up in Jail so damn much their pieces are often perfectly aligned to land on these colours specifically. I guess then, as long as you’re fine with temporarily morphing into a bit of a meanie (and are armed with multiple orange and red properties), the sheer body of research surrounding Monopoly makes it a pretty legitimate pastime. It tears happy families apart, but for some reason, collecting little green houses and clunking counters around a board is worth all the tension and heartache. So go forth and play on my friends… just make sure you pay me if you land on Vine Street, you scumbag.
33
Masala Whangaparaoa – the go to for any coast dates, birthdays, anniversaries or sad Valentines. Renowned for their $10 mains, fairy lights and occasional employment scandal, there really is never a dull moment. I went along on a Monday night to a fairly empty restaurant. The wall heaters were blaring, the lights were low (romantically so), and the television on the wall was (as usual) screening saucy Bollywood music videos of older men with pristine stubble seducing young women. Excellent. Needless to say, the atmosphere was excellent.
MASALA WHANGAPARAOA 195 Brightside Road, Whangaparaoa
Reviewed by Matthew Cattin If I ever eat authentic Indian food, I’ll probably die of heat exhaustion, but throw a mild butter chicken my way and I’ll lap it up like a kitten on a teat. I’m no expert on Indian cuisine, and I sure don’t claim to be, so please, before you read on, excuse my gora review - I like my curries Nicole Kidman white and I am not ashamed.
A $10 main is not to be sniffed at, especially in a restaurant environment, and being so cheap, one doesn’t feel bad about splurging out on that drink and naan bread. I went for the classic chicken saagwala (because I get butter chicken er’ other time), a garlic and cheese naan (because there’s naan better), and a mango lassi (because I had a salted lassi once and nearly threw up). With bottomless rice, a romantic candle, and a determined waiter bringing water every few minutes (“more water, please?”) the service was decent, if a little too frequent for my liking. The meals came out together, and tasted rather fantastic too, which is always a bonus. Being able to walk out of a restaurant with a disgustingly bloated belly and a relatively undamaged bank account is quite a rare thing, so cheers Masala for making the dream possible.
Instead, I went along with my fingers crossed but prepared for the worse. So imagine my surprise when I left the cinema, not quite as awe-inspired as past MCU ventures, but at the very least entertained and pleased I hadn’t wasted two hours of my life.
ANT-MAN Directed by Peyton Reed Starring Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Michael Douglas
Reviewed by Ethan Sills I’ll be the first to say I thought this was going to be shit. After its dodgy road to production (the original director, Edgar Wright, left under a dark cloud after developing it for nearly a decade) and a series of funny but unenticing trailers, I didn’t think anything would save Ant-Man. If it wasn’t part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I’d have skipped it entirely.
The origin story focuses on Scott Lang (Paul Rudd), an ex-con cut off from his young daughter and trying desperately to get back in her life. Through a prolonged test, Lang is eventually brought in by Dr Hank Pym (Michael Douglas), a former SHIELD agent from the sixties, who needs his help to steal a version of his shrinking suit from a dangerous businessman. The movie really goes for the humour more than past Marvel movies (even Guardians), but it works better than past movies as the plot is appropriately lighter. As the trailers suggests, the story is on the unremarkable side, which takes a lot of the threat out of the climax (you can tell no one’s going to die in this movie within the first ten minutes). However, there is a lot to enjoy. From the leading performances, the humour-filled final battle and some nice references to the MCU, Ant-Man is all the fun of a rollercoaster with none of the drama. If you hate Marvel movies or Paul Rudd, this really isn’t for you. But for two hours, it is an entertaining action movie with a touch of heart to carry the humour, topped off with some impressively animated action sequences.
REVIEWS a typical John Green romance. Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, however, is quite the opposite, and that is where it succeeds. For starters, the leading lad, Greg, a self-loathing senior at high school, is a bit of an asshole. He’s quirky, sure, but not in a cute way. When his meddling mother finds out a girl in his year has cancer, she organises something of a sympathy play date for the two. After breaking the ice with masturbation jokes, he develops an uneasy friendship with the lovely, but deteriorating, Rachel.
ME AND EARL AND THE DYING GIRL Directed by Alfonso Gomez-Rejon Starring Thomas Mann, RJ Cyler, Olivia Cooke
Reviewed by Matthew Cattin I was never huge on the tween-cancer-heartbreak The Fault In Our Stars… To me, it all felt a bit too neat. The characters, I found too quirky, too cool, too tragically beautiful. It was a candy-coated story of two exceptionally hip people sharing
As the fickle relationship grows, so too does a sense of unease. As Rachel gets sicker, cracks begin to appear in the friendship as Greg awkwardly deals with the illness. He mightn’t be the most likable lead around, but fortunately, the support cast delivers the film’s likable characters, including Greg’s best friend and filmmaking partner Earl. When the pair gets roped into making a feel-better film for Rachel, well that’s when shit starts to really hit the fan. As I mentioned, this film focuses on imperfections, and is hugely refreshing as a result. It is not a love story, the characters aren’t heroic, and in my opinion, it has a realism about it you don’t see in many teen films. The young actors do a superb job in their roles, and the soundtrack supports it beautifully. If you’re not put off by the Debbie downers title, see this film – it will stick with you
that you can scroll and zoom around with markers per major international city. If you click on one of these markers a link pops up to a Spotify playlist for each city full of tracks that are “distinctive” to that particular region.
SOUNDS OF CITIES (New Spotify feature) https://insights.spotify.com /us/2015/07/13/musical-map-of-the-world/
Reviewed by Amelia Petrovich Having been a devotee to iTunes and all things Apple since buying my first Macbook in 2010, up until now I haven’t seen much point for Spotify. I kind of figured that one place to store and collect music in was enough, which sounds positively blasphemous now that I’m happily converted, but it’s how I felt. Things changed when I discovered the nifty interactive map launched on the Spotify ‘Insights’ blog. This is a world map
By “distinctive”, Spotify is talking about those songs that loads of people in that city really love, but are relatively unpopular or unheard of everywhere else. Apparently Aucklanders still jam Fat Freddy’s “Wandering Eye” fairly regularly (too much free time at 4:20pm on a Friday afternoon maybe?) and Sydneysiders are actually really passionate about one specific Gin Wigmore tune. Each playlist is updated twice a month as well, so supposedly none of the city-specific tunes will become too dated. To my mind, it really is an inspired and infallible system. Who even needs global travel when you can satisfy all your musical wanderlust from the comfort of your own chilly flat? I mean, probably a lot of us, but my point is that if it’s not happening for you any time soon, Spotify has you covered right now. It’s a great way to find out what the rest of the world is listening to, and offers a look at the tastes of your own city - work out where you fit in! I highly recommend giving it a look.
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KIDS WITH KIWI
RECIPE
currently headed up by Enrico Rufini and his wife Gina whose philosophy is to cook and serve organic food in abundance. A Nouvelle Cuisine no-go zone, this is a place to find food that’s conducive to good conversation and good company; food that sees you leave the table feeling satisfied but not weigheddown. Celebrating regional, traditional cuisine, the agriturismo’s restaurant, La Cucinaccia, also gives special consideration to dietary requirements – diabetic, high cholesterol, vegetarian – all of which are catered to with this dish. But that’s not to say it can’t be enriched. Enrico serves a variant, with pancetta and a ham bone that brings a rich umami kick to this soup of tender little lentils.
Instructions : Zuppa Di Lenticchie Lentil Soup Serves: 6 Preparation and cooking time: 1hr 15min
Zuppa Di Lenticchie Lentil Soup A ‘poor man’s meat’, lentils are an ancient staple that date back to the Bible and beyond, but those that grow in the high plains of Castelluccio di Norcia, some 1372m above sea level, stand more than head and shoulders above the rest.
Chef: Enrico Rufini Location: Palazzo Rufini, Corciano The heights of Monti Sibillini, where Umbria meets Le Marche, are home to a combination of climate and soil that form the perfect fertile environment for IGP Castelluccio lentils, a unique variety with a thin skin and soft consistency that means they can be cooked without soaking. Ranging in colour from golden brown, to yellow and even speckled green, these coinlike legumes have been eaten for luck since the Roman times, consumed on 31 December (stewed with sausage or pork) to bring prosperity to the coming year. Precious and delicate they may be, but grown at such heights, they weather some pretty adverse conditions, which makes them ‘naturally’ organic; such altitudes are no home for parasites or the crop spraying that often goes with them. High in nutrients – Vitamins B and C, iron and protein – and very low in fat, these are the most ancient of superfoods. Soup – a classic way to serve this quick-cook lentil – is an exemplary dish of Palazzi Rufini, an organic agriturismo overlooked by the Piano Grande (high plain) that nurtures the Castelluccio lentils. Handed down through the generations, Rufini is a place that’s passionate about hearty, healthy eating,
1 onion 2 carrots 1 stick celery 1 garlic clove pinch of red chilli flakes extra virgin olive oil 500g Castelluccio lentils 1 sprig rosemary 2–3 bay leaves 4–5 fresh peeled tomatoes (or tinned) 1L cold water salt & pepper to taste 4 slices ciabatta/sourdough to serve
1. Sauté the chopped onion, carrots, celery, garlic and pinch chilli flakes gently in a little olive oil without browning.
2.
Add lentils and stir over a low heat. Add the whole sprig of rosemary, bay leaves and chopped, peeled tomatoes and some seasoning and stir.
3. Add about 1L cold water. Bring to the boil then turn down to a gentle simmer.
4.
Cover the pan and let the soup cook for 45 mins. By the end, the lentils should be absorbed into the soup to make a thick-ish broth. Add more water if too thick.
5. Serve very hot, with four thick slices ciabatta or sourdough bread, toasted and rubbed with cut garlic and best extra virgin olive oil.
This is an extract from From the Source: Italy, written by Sarah Barrell and photographed by Susan Wright © Lonely Planet 2015. In stores now, RRP: $34.99.
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PUZ Z L E S
THE CIRCULAR RUINS A CRYPTIC CROSSWORD by Māyā ACROSS 1 Smoke is confusing Northerners (7) 7 To be full-bore, regularly; that's what I'm after (4) 8 In these transports, you might rule the World! (6) 11 World realised in one of 18’s best longer works (4) 12 Wraps each island amazingly (10) 15 King's directions to royal subjects, originally novices (8) 16 Against Pauline Réage's protagonist: so might Harry Flashman or Don Quixote be described (8) 18 “2nd rate revels? I’m outta here!” – a realist (Harry Potter’s type, perhaps?) (6) 19 Master Simpson’s all right as a composer (6) 23 Small idea? Emery edges away – may be experienced, in the main (3,2,3)
25 How to get “PETS” in the other type of clue – resign (4-4) 27 Knight breezed in, careless of speed (10) 29 Lover of Chopin and 18's interminable book (4) 30 14 structure found in Brabant-le-Roi (6) 31 A 14 one might appear in 18's garden (4) 32 The Cosmic Balance is on the lines of 18’s imagined Paradise (7)
DOWN 2 Fearful feature of a cat (one that needs to be put out?) (8) 3 Fashionable dictator to bring about... (6) 4 ...dutiful order? I tend to rebel (8) 5 Relative receding, and abruptly waving (10)
6 /28 18’s avenger, Elmo Mead, united with Zhuangzi – what are the odds of that? (4,4) 9 In place of worship, I star (6) 10 I take in the “Edges of the Alphabet” puzzle (4) 13 State of a Medical Association under a research centre (7) 14 Eating patriotically? (7) 17 Exercising pet on piano is unsuitable (10) 20 God sitting on Big Apple is problematic (6) 21 When I led fashion capital (3,5) 22 One who tries, timelessly, to mitigate (8) 24 Ogle King, reportedly (4) 26 18’s “abominable multiplier”, which “the Giftie gie us” (6) 28 See 6
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