Debate | Issue 25

debate ISSUE ISSUE 25 19 | OCTOBER | AUGUST2015 2015

Anywhere Anytime

library.aut.ac.nz

CREDITS EDITOR Laurien Barks laurien.barks@aut.ac.nz SUB-EDITORS Matthew Cattin Amelia Petrovich Julie Cleaver DESIGNER Ramina Rai CONTRIBUTORS Amelia Petrovich, Matthew Cattin, Julie Cleaver, Shivani Rajan, Kieran Bennett, Jenevie Ibarra, Shivan, Ethan Sills, Shelley Reive, William Bowman, Logan Gubb, Tyler Hinde ADVERTISING Harriet Smythe hsmythe@aut.ac.nz

Pg 4 Editor’s Letter

Contributions can be sent to

lbarks@aut.ac.nz

Pg 20 Things that Sound Really Bad but are Actually Fine

Pg 6 Insta-Fab

PRINTER Debate is lovingly printed by Soar Print

Pg 22 To Meat or Not to Meat

Pg 8 Working the Streets

Pg 24 Do the Brew

Pg 10 Cool Shit

Pg 26 In Short

Pg 11 3am Thoughts

Debate is a member of

the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA)

Pg 28 Street Style

Pg 12 Decile, Decisions, and Diversity

Pg 30 Reviews

Pg 15 Wales Rider

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Pg 32 Recipe

Pg 16 The Emotional Truth

Pg 33 Puzzles

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3

EDITOR’S LETTER They say a picture is worth a thousand words. In this case, the subjects of these photos are worth about a thousand turds. A day.

I guess I should have expected to get a lot of crap when I signed up for a housesit that included looking after eight cats. Four of which are hairless. I just expected that crap would take the form of good natured “cat lady” sass from my friends. Which, of course I’ve received in copious amounts, and can handle for the most part. What I wasn’t prepared for was the literal crap that the cats (two of which have bowel disorders) would figuratively (thank the lord) drag me through.

But I don’t want to be a party pooper, life with eight cats is most definitely an adventure. Something to write about, photograph, and keep me entertained for the next three weeks. With one of the cats becoming my bestie, and the rest pretty content to just keep to themselves, I feel like I’ve got the whole cat-mum thing under control without feeling stretched thin.

Hairless cats are something I’ve always found intriguing but have never felt the urge to rush and experience first-hand. I must say, at first, these Dobby-esque wee things are a terror to interact with.

How do you touch them? What’s wrong with their face? Is that a tail or a worm? OH DEAR LORD, IS THAT WHAT A CAT VAGINA ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE!?

Naked pussies are a pretty vulnerable thing to get amongst. Every part of them is out there for the world to see, they kinda smell funny, and unless you’ve dealt with a lot of them, you don’t really know how to go about giving them love. But I have to say, my little hairless bestie is one of the most cuddly, affectionate critters I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting (I think because she’s so cold), and that makes it pretty hard to be turned off by her texture and appearance. #innermewty There’s not much more I can say at the time about my latest housesit adventure, we figured the pictures were more interesting than anything I’d have to say anyway. All in all, I feel as though it’s good practice for my inevitable future; it’s taught me some valuable lessons in just a few short days.

1)

A crazy cat lady’s treasures are about quality, not quantity.

More cats = more poop. Invest in one or two cats that give you all the love you desperately crave.

2)

Cat genitalia isn’t as cute as you would have imagined it to be had you ever been in the mood to sit and imagine cat genitalia.

3)

When you put your face on a hairless cat’s back and close your eyes, it almost feels like you have your face on a man’s bare back…something to think about, you lonely minx, you.

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I N S TA - FA B

" I’VE A LWA YS HAD A B EL IEF (FOR NO R EAL R EASON ) T HA T A LL 22 INSTAGR AM FIL TER S AR E GR OUND E D IN REA L-WOR L D PHOTOGR APHIC PR ACTICE, SO I EMBA RKED ON A WEE R ESEAR CH END EAV OR TO FIN D OUT WHAT WAS ACTUAL L Y UP." Amelia Petrovich There are over 300million users worldwide who are mad about it, but for some of us, Instagram hasn’t always been the obvious Mecca to flock to. There are a few people left in this world (just a few) for which the eventual migration to Instagram was slow and fraught with conflicting emotions. We were serious photographers (or seriously anti-trend), and how could we be taken seriously if all of our prized images were showcased somewhere as ridiculously mainstream as Instagram? The photographic filters and tools on offer were pretty but they were shortcuts, weren’t they?

They let lazy people feel talented and creative which meant they were bad. They were an outrage, a total sham… but goddammit they were so pretty.

Somewhat begrudgingly we shuffled our pretentious asses over to the ‘Gram and learned how to peddle our wares in a new way and actually, the whole thing has turned out kind of fun. Every so often the photohipster in me wins out though. I find myself wanting to justify my Insta-addiction and back up my own claims that Instagram can “totally be perceived as real art”. I’ve always had a belief (for no real reason) that all 22 Instagram filters are grounded in real-world photographic practice, so I embarked on a wee research endeavor to find out what was actually up.

As it turns out it’s really damn hard to find information about Insta-filter names and the names that are out there aren’t always to do with photography per say.

T OAST ER- I was delighted to discover that this filter was actually named after Internet entrepreneur Kevin Rose’s pet dog. It has zero to do with real photography but it is awesome.

C REMA- This filter, in suitably hipster fashion, is named ‘crema’ after the smooth, cream-like finish on a wellextracted espresso coffee (because the filter makes pictures look smooth, not just because Instagrammers love coffee).

LU D W I G - When Ludwig is applied to photos it works by taking away most of the colours present and enhancing any light, giving it a minimalist feel. Ludwig Mies van der Rohe was a minimalist architect who apparently coined the mantra “less is more”. The Ludwig filter is all about that.

P ERP ET U A- This greeney-bluey filter is actually named after the Cape Perpetua national forest in Oregon, presumably because it’s greeney-bluey and so is the forest.

RI SE- I was always pretty certain that this name alluded to a sunrise, but as it turns out this filter was the brainchild of and tribute to Cole Rise, one of the first 100 members of Instagram who helped iron out kinks in the app during beta-testing. Rise also designed seven filters for Instagram and collaborated to help create its logo. I reckon it’s pretty fair enough that he has his own filter.

LO - F I - This one’s an abbreviation of ‘low fidelity’, a photography term that basically means ‘looking like bad quality but totally on purpose’.

NASH V I LLE- Unsurprisingly, ‘Nashville’ is named after actual Nashville, a city in Tennessee known for its creative flair.

1 9 7 7 - This is admittedly inspired guesswork, but I am 99.9% certain that this filter is just supposed to look the way nifty photos did in the late 70s.

H EF E- Have you ever heard of hefeweizen beer?

Neither had I, but Instagram CEO Kevin Systrom definitely did, deciding to name the vibrant filter after the beer he binged on whilst designing it. What a baller.

7

WORKING THE STREETS

Matthew Cattin | Illustration by Ramina Rai Busking - or, talented begging - has been a part of my life for as long as I remember. My two older brothers used to be talented sopranos - before their pubes strangled their angelic voices- and every Christmas, they’d hit up the malls and earn a killing. Younger people would often snicker seeing two young lads singing earnestly like little girls, their mouths pouting as they enunciated Italian carols to perfezione. The old ladies though, well they would lose their shit, or perhaps their marbles, and throw their pension at my brothers, which usually stopped the young’uns from laughing pretty bloody quick.

I never went down the soprano road, myself. In fact, if I’m honest, I was one of the ones snickering... I could never understand why anybody would sing like that when they should “just sing normal”. However, inspired by a family friend’s violin performance of My Heart Will Go On, I decided to give the violin a crack.

After months of screeching my way through bowing exercises, I hit the streets to screech my way through Christmas carols. I must have sounded like a rusty door with asthma, but what kind of an old lady can resist a 10-yearold playing The First Noel? None that I came across. I made them gold coins rain from the skies.

When puberty hit, ravaging my face and darkening my top lip, playing Christmas carols on a violin suddenly wasn’t very cute anymore. In fact it was creepy. Downright creepy. Luckily for me, puberty also brought with it a newfound embarrassment of playing the violin, so I taught myself the guitar and - between voice breaks - singing.

In year nine, my need for an urgent influx of cash became suddenly dire.

The Rolling Stones were coming, and with no money to my name, I was in a situation.

My folks kindly allowed me to use their Visa to secure tickets, but on the condition I paid them back quick smart.

With no job, and no desire to get one, I collected a few staples under my belt, and re-emerged in the busking scene.

I wasn’t fabulous, and my song list was riddled with clichés (lookin’ at you Oasis), but my voice breaks were rewarded with dollah billz, and in two busking sessions, I had paid for the concert. Even a dim-witted kid would have seen the profitable potential in busking, and for the next four unemployed years of college, I paid for dozens of gigs this way. Though not without a few dramas along the way.

With a regular job, you’re generally paid direct into your bank account. With busking, it’s usually silver, sometimes gold, and occasionally notes, but

really, anything goes. I’ve been paid chocolate, takeaway coffee, fruit, condoms, coupons, eggs, strip club money and compliments.

It’s amazing, though, how some people interact with you while you’re performing. For the most part, any form of engagement is a win (because the alternative is being blanked) and it likely sounds corny, but seeing somebody really enjoy your tunes is often worth so much more than their spare change.

When puberty hit, ravaging my face and darkening my top lip, playing Christmas carols on a violin suddenly wasn’t very cute anymore.

In Queenstown this year, my mate and I played Pink Floyd’s Wish You Were Here by the lakeside one evening. A couple nearby began slow dancing (with a little bit of making out thrown into the mix).

When we finished the tune, the guy came over, and in his saucy French accent said “I fucking love zat song,” and gave us a few coins. It’s those moments - not the money - I’ll always remember.

Other people, however, have absolutely no idea. Some will stand awkwardly close while you’re singing and, mid-song, start talking. “So how long have you played?” Look mate…

I don’t come up to you while you’re accounting and ask how long your life has sucked - get out of my grill. Others specifically tourists - will come and pose next to you while their buddy takes a video or picture - always without paying. Classic.

I used to have this busking spot in the underground carpark of our local plaza, right next to the travellator. It was the perfect bottleneck point for foot traffic, and it always paid well. One day a man walked by with (I’m assuming) his son who was wheelchair-bound. Seeing an opportunity for an easy shop, the guy wheeled his disabled accomplice in front of me, and off he went. Having nearly finished my busk, I felt obliged to keep playing so as not to leave this guy on his own (tempting as it was to teach the other guy a lesson). Half an hour later, he shows up with his shopping, and home they went, without a single look or word in my direction. Would he have done the same had I not been there? I hope not.

With full time employment and an ugly face, my busking days are mostly over. I still take my travel guitar on road trips to earn ice cream and pie money, but contrary to what it may seem, it’s actually quite hard work.

You’re out there in front of the public, battling the sore or cold fingers, the nerves and a tired voice for hours at a time. Sometimes security moves you on, occasionally your coins are stolen, and if people aren’t feeling particularly generous, or you’re not on form, it can be worse than minimum wage. If you’ve got even a scrap of talent though, by all means give it a crack! It’s great for performance experience, you’ll get better work stories, and on a good day, you can earn a dollar a minute. Just don’t play Wonderwall you sell outs...

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COOL SHIT

#DOUBLETHEQUOTA This past week, ethical retailer, LUSH Cosmetics joined forces with the Doing Our Bit, campaigning to permanently double New Zealand’s refugee quota.

New Zealand’s refugee intake has not changed since 1987 and despite recent temporary changes to aid the Syrian crisis, the quota still remains at the low intake of 750 refugees annually. LUSH focussed on supporting Doing Our Bit and educating the public on the issues and lobbying to double the quota. During the campaign, customers were invited to sign a postcard in stores and an online petition. There was also a photo opportunity in store with the hastag #DoubletheQuota to encourage further social conversation and reach. It’s always so inspiring to see our favourite brands and companies working to make a real change in our country.

WIN

KAREN FOR CHRISTMAS Finding a little something for that special someone, friend or even a lil’ pick-me-up treat for yourself during Christmas can often turn out to be expensive and time consuming, as you shell out more time and money struggling to find that perfect gift! Cue Karen Murrell Limited Edition Christmas Gift Set – a chic gift choice packed with gorgeous lippies and a little slice of summertime style, packaged especially to brighten anyone’s day, week or year! Contains two summery lipstick colours, and a set of chic Karen Murrell charm bracelets, and can be found at selected pharmacies and health food stores nationwide for just $59!

HELLO

!

HALLOWEEN Debate has two more double passes to giveaway to the MOTAT Halloween party at the end of the month! To be in to win, simply email lbarks@aut.ac.nz with your name, campus, and favourite song to boogie to.

3 AM THOUGHTS an idiot and that they’re disappointed, but they’re far away and uninteresting.

You probably imagined them anyway.

That’s right, just keep scrolling down that news feed.

Could I possibly blame mid-semester break for screwing up my sleeping patterns? That sounds plausible - when you can sleep in just about every morning, it just makes sense to continue watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show until your fatigue is so strong you can’t see.

3:00am, September 17th “It’s so pathetic that for the last three nights I haven’t even needed to set an alarm for 3am”.

Amelia Petrovich On September 17th I was awake at 3:00am and typing with complete and terrifying lucidity. It was terrifying not only because of how long I’d stayed up, but also because of how comparatively soon I’d need to be up. To get myself bright, sparkly and ready for my gross 8:00am Fridays, I need to be awake by at least 6:00am. It gives me time to stumble around my house like a drunken toddler for a bit and still make it to uni on time, mostly. So when I wrote this particular 3:00am thought, I was a mere three hours away from actually having to get up and be an adult.

Did I care though? Surprisingly, not at all.

I remember a particular scene from Fight Club where the narrator stares lethargically at a flickering TV screen, remote in hand and motionless. He describes having insomnia as when “you’re never really asleep and you’re never really awake”, a pallid zombie in limbo. Now I don’t know if I’d qualify for an official diagnosis of insomnia, but that sleepless purgatory is a place that’s become a little too familiar for me recently.

I mean, it’s a pretty crappy thing I suppose but when you’re right there, actually in that half-asleep, halfawake space, feeling real emotions is not a thing that happens. There’s someone that sounds a lot like you in your head telling you that you’re

It could also be the rapidly approaching summer break.

Summer’s great because we all know it’s a really solid block of time where we’ll have oodles of hours just to spend on ourselves, but maybe my selfish ego wants that time spending to kick off right now at 3:00am. And like, that’s all well and good, but you can’t indulge that way when you’re getting up in three hours to be a uni hero.

You can’t, but I did and I do and now I can’t stop.

The question I want answered is, when you burn the candle at both ends, how long before there’s nothing left? Or does it just rejuvenate? A backwards candle, where sleep starts at 8:00am and stretches until the evening. It wouldn’t necessarily be a terrible thing in theory, but in practice, the world doesn’t tend to orient itself around nocturnal humans.

And so we all yawn on, indigo bags hanging from each eye in sullen acceptance of our fate. I’d like to promise myself that tonight will be an early one, but I’ve got a crappy feeling that 3:00am will see me wide eyed and despondent again.

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Decile, Decisions, and Diversity The truth behind the school decile system.

Julie Cleaver The decile system was originally created to help combat the effects of poverty. But like the term equality, the word decile has become confused in New Zealand. Now that little number dictates where parents choose to send their children, which is having some outrageous consequences in Aotearoa.

According to the Ministry of Education, a school’s decile number represents the proportion of students who are from a low socio-economic background.

The decile score determines how much funding a school receives – the lower the number/poorer the school, the more funding per student it gets.

A report done by the University of Auckland called The Great Decile Debate says the decile number is calculated based on students’ household incomes, the occupation of their parents, household crowding (how many kids per bedroom), the parents’ educational qualifications, and how much income support the parents receive.

The report states, “A school’s decile rating does not indicate the quality of teaching and learning in the school.”

The Ministry of Education also says a school’s decile number does not “reflect the quality of education the school provides.” However, many people believe otherwise. Joy Eaton, the ex-principal of Henderson High

School says, “Media, schools and parents have loaded the term [decile] with meaning that was not intended and does damage to schools with the ‘low decile’ label”.

The misunderstanding of the word decile has contributed to the “white flight” trend, where parents (who are predominantly Pakeha) are choosing to send their children to higher decile schools. Evidence of this trend can be seen in a data analysis done by the NZ Herald. It showed that European students made up 13 percent of decile one schools in 1996. However, in 2013 that number more than halved, with European students making up just under five percent of decile one schools. On the other hand, Maori

students have consistently made up 50 percent of decile one schools in both 1996 and 2013. Also, the number of Pacific Island students in decile one schools has increased by 10 percent over the 17-year period.

“White flight” also extends to Maori parents, as they are choosing to send their children to higher decile schools as well. However, this number is still small in comparison, as Maori only make up seven percent of decile 10 schools, whereas Europeans make up 70 percent.

Damon Salesa, the Auckland University associate professor of Pacific Studies, believes “white flight” is caused by racism. She told the NZ Herald, “…

Schools with a lot of Maori and Pacific

Island pupils are being used as a proxy of quality.” She said, “I think race is an element of [the parents] decision, even if they’re not necessarily conscious of it.” On the contrary, Massey University Professor, John O’Neill’s research found that parents make their decisions based on socialisation rather than racism. Socialisation means whether the students will fit in with the other children at the school, or be a minority.

Professor O’Neill also found parents look at the academic results of students in each school before making their decision. This may be a leading cause of “white flight”, as the statistics shows that lower decile schools in New Zealand underperform compared to higher decile ones.

Radio New Zealand wrote in June this year, “Children at low-decile schools are two years behind their peers in highdecile schools in both maths and health and physical education, a study shows.”

If a decile number does not indicate quality of teaching or learning at a school, then why do lower decile schools underperform? Salvatore Gargiulo, the principal of Manurewa High School, believes these results come from a lack of belief in low decile schools. He says, “The concerns I have are; students who believe being at a low decile school means being doomed to low achievement and significantly the community also believes this, thus the prophecy becomes self-fulfilling.”

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Also, the principal of decile one school, Porirua College, says low decile schools aren’t getting enough funding.

Principal Susanne Jungersen told Radio New Zealand, "[The funding] really helps, but it isn't sufficient, because the way that children are impacted on coming from poor households is multi-layered.

It's like a thin rubber band that's stretched to sort of screaming point and every bit of funding does help, but it is insufficient."

So we know “white flight” is definitely happening - the evidence is harder than a concrete slab. And we have a few assumptions as to why it is happening. But what are the consequences of such a colossal trend? Could all this racial segregation create, I don’t know, racial segregation?

Apparently so. Professor O’Neill says New Zealand is becoming a more “polarised, fragmented society” due to “white flight”.

The president of the Secondary Principals’ Association Patrick Walsh also says it’s, “not a good thing for New Zealand society”, as “there is a growing division on ethnic and socio-economic lines.”

I think the segregation

effects are

of this already

seeping through the cracks and surfacing in the attitudes of New Zealand youth. “Casual racism” is a phenomenon so common in New Zealand, it’s barely even noticed. If you have never heard someone mock an Asian for driving poorly, a Maori or Pacific Islander for crime, or an Indian for owning a dairy and eating curry, you probably grew up in Switzerland, not New Zealand.

And although this racism is probably coming from a variety of different factors, I’m sure if children of all ethnicities went to school together, it would lessen.

The misunderstanding of the word decile has contributed to the “white flight” trend, where parents (who are predominantly Pakeha) are choosing to send their children to higher decile schools.

Additionally, in New Zealand the gap between rich and poor is growing fast. A report done by the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development said New Zealand

has one of the quickest growing income gaps among all first world countries. Peter Gall, the principal of Papatoetoe High School, believes socioeconomic segregation may be contributing to this widening gap.

As poor children are growing up and becoming poor, and rich kids are growing up and becoming rich.

The school system is meant to give all students an equal opportunity in life. So although the decile system is better than nothing, I think it could be improved. Perhaps ways of allocating funding that do not harm a school’s image need to be thought of. I also think parents should educate themselves on what decile rankings mean before they send their beloved little Jimmy to a school an hour away.

I hope my children will have the pleasure of attending a school rich in culture and ethnic diversity. And I hope New Zealand society will learn to embrace its growing multiculturalism. But if the system doesn’t change, I fear an unofficial apartheid may occur.

WA L E S R I D E R

Shivani Rajan FIRST FORTNIGHT IN CARDIFF HAS BEEN A SUCCESS!!!

I’ve been throwing myself in the deep end as much as possible and trying to make the most of the many opportunities that Cardiff University has to offer. Earlier this week, I hosted a show on the student radio station, “Xpress”, and went on-air to talk about New Zealand, studying at AUT, the 2011 RWC, and of course The All Blacks. It was nerve wracking but I’ve been invited back to host my very own weekly radio show starting later this month!

Regarding classes, the first week has been pretty similar to AUT with the chilled atmosphere, small numbers per classrooms and helpful students (it’s my turn to be THAT foreign kid with the campus map in her hand wandering around in circles). It seems like it will be a full on 12 week semester, but I’m just hoping time will go by as sloooowly as possible because I know from three semesters at AUT how quickly one semester can pass you by.

I’ve settled into my new home now and adjusted to being responsible for looking after myself (I’ve learned the hard way I can’t actually live off frozen meals and Maccas like I had planned from Auckland...) My flat mates consist of two Americans, four English people, and one Welsh person so when everyone talks at the same time over dinner or during a night out, it can be difficult to understand!

We’ve been making fun of each other’s accents, learning about everyone’s respective homes and we’ve had that “family” vibe among each other since day one. It’s been mind blowing to learn what the Americans and British people knew/didn't know about New Zealand before living with my patriotic-self (the All Blacks were the clear winner unsurprisingly) and I’ve been trying (keyword: TRYING) to teach all of them Kiwi slang but everyone cracks up every time.

Especially with words like mean, nek minnut, chur and the adding of as to the end of every sentence. One of the Americans was like “…. As what?!” and I had to explain that it was just the end of the sentence!

Pretty hyped for my All Blacks vs Georgia game tomorrow at the iconic Millennium stadium. After getting settled into Cardiff and spending 24/7 with such mean as flatmates, I haven’t been feeling as homesick anymore, but I’m excited to be surrounded

by Kiwis again and to cheer the boys on while in a sea of those beloved black jerseys. Since I arrived, Cardiff City has been rugby MAD; massive flags decorating the streets, people donning their country’s shirts as a part of everyday life and I can’t forget the abnormally sized rugby ball casually chilling on the side of Cardiff Castle! It’s already been an experience to remember.

I’ll be sure to write about tomorrow’s game and week two of classes in next weeks issue!

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T he E m o tio nal Tr uth Laurien Barks | Illustration by Tyler Hinde We’re all pretty competently aware when it comes to the concept of an IQ. It’s not uncommon to reference, challenge, brag about, discuss, and find holes in the idea of the standardized intelligence measurement. Most of us don’t pay a whole lot of attention to ours or others’ IQ scores. Heck, I don’t have even a remote inkling as to what mine actually is. Turns out, when it comes to our success in our career, relationships, and life in general, we can only actually give 10ish percent of the credit to our IQ scores. The rest of it is handed over to a number of other factors, with one of the biggies actually being our emotional quotient.

Emotional intelligence (EI or EQ) is a term I’ve thrown around here and there, and I’m always surprised by the fact that a lot of people aren’t actually aware that it’s a thing. I mean, we’re all aware of it, some people just aren’t aware of what they’re aware of…you get me?

When you think about the people in this world that you really like, chances are probably good they all have one or two things in common. Maybe they communicate well (not necessarily extraverted social butterflies, but pleasant in conversation), maybe they’re nurturing, are excellent to

work with, deter conflict (or handle it well, initiate apologies, admit when they’re in the wrong), maybe you simply feel that they “just get” you. Or maybe it’s a random combination of a few of those things. Whatever the specifics of what draws you to your personal favourites, chances are your inclination is a result of their EQ strengths.

Whatever the specifics of what draws you to your personal favourites, chances are your inclination is a result of their EQ strengths.

And I’m willing to bet the people you aren’t a fan of are lacking in the emotional intelligence department in one way or another.

Psychologists break down EQ into five different categories. I guess, to be an optimum human, you’d need to excel in each and every department.

And while reaching ‘perfect person’ status is unforeseeable to most

everyone, the great thing about EQ is that we’re not stuck with what we were born with, we can always work to strengthen and improve. Some are more naturally drawn to excel in this side of being a human, others may have to work harder; either way, it’s not impossible for anyone to achieve a decent EQ. Self-awareness marks the first category of the psychological definition of the Emotional Quotient.

Arguably the most important trait of a high-EQ’d person, self-awareness is an indicator of a person’s ability to recognize their emotions and what they mean for themselves and those around them. It ties heavily into self-confidence, as the more we recognize what we feel, what causes it, and what we can do about it, the less ashamed, confused, and unsure of ourselves we are. While society will often tell us to shove negative emotions out of sight and out of mind (particularly if you’re male), the opposite action should actually be encouraged. I’m not talking bursting into tear-flames at the drop of a hat – ain’t nobody got time for a consistent flow of mild breakdowns - I’m talking admitting when you’re down or angry or anxious about something.

You don’t have to admit it to

17

someone (unless that’s what you want to do), it just needs to be fully admitted to yourself. The moment you can say “I feel upset”, you can then ask “what made me sad?” All you’ve got to do is find the answer to that question, and figure out how to avoid/solve it in the future. The more we learn what we need on an emotional level, the easier it will be to learn what others need. When it comes down to it, the majority of conflict within relationships – friend, family, or otherwise – comes down to our inability to give or receive what is needed on an emotional level. An incredibly laid back bro, and a highly strung organizer can find a great balance if both of them are well-equipped with a decent EQ .

Mov i n g o nto c o nsc i enti ous nes s , let me a sk the ques ti o n , how o ft e n ha s co n f l i ct a n d ne gat ive em o ti o n b e e n pro l o n g e d by p r i de ?

So long as each is willing, and able to understand what the other needs, both should be quite happy and content with the relationship despite living in two completely different worlds.

The second category of emotional intelligence is selfregulation. Emotions, both our own and others, are often unpredictable and can rise up whether we want them to or not. Self-regulation helps us determine how long these emotions will stick around. Things like selfcontrol, trustworthiness, conscientiousness, adaptability, and innovation are all valuable tools to have in the ol’ emotional tool box. If you tend to do a lot of emotional self-harm (not necessarily extreme, could be as much as stalking your ex’s Facebook profile), self-control will help keep a reign on those destructive impulses. Being trustworthy is a trait often seen as being more beneficial to others than to the individual who exhibits it. This isn’t always the case, as a person who is trustworthy is also a person who lives with integrity, and upholds the moral standards they’ve set for themselves. A person with integrity is a person who takes pride in the way they live

their life, and is consequently happier than a person who lacks this trait. Moving onto conscientiousness, let me ask the question, how often has conflict and negative emotion been prolonged by pride? An unwillingness to admit wrongdoing? Conscientiousness, and admitting when you’re wrong; taking responsibility for when you lose it like every normal person does, is one of the best things you can do for yourself, and anyone else you’ve hit in emotional crossfire. Lastly, adaptability and an open mind are pretty self-explanatory means of self-regulation. The more willing we are to be a part of new experiences, the bigger our skill set to deal with curveballs thrown our way in the future. The sooner we all realize life doesn’t go to plan, things aren’t always how we imagined, and the only choice we have at any given time is how we deal with factors we can’t control, the better off we’ll be.

I’m always surprised when I’m reminded that motivation is the basis of category three. I guess, to me, motivation has always been more of a personal attribute, than a social one. But then again, I suppose success in a career and relationships does require a healthy dose of optimism, commitment, and initiative, all of which are handily encompassed under the heading of ‘motivation.’ And refreshingly, unlike those hippy dippy “just believe in yourself” motivational speeches/ techniques/Upworthy stories, a healthy EQ’s motivational requirement does not require a Disney Princess level of optimism. In fact, psychologists acknowledge the fact that there are negatively inclined people, just as there are positively inclined – some things come down to a predisposition, and we don’t get a say. What we do get a say in, is how we reframe our thoughts, and use them to our advantage. That could mean making an effort to find a bit of motivation-inspiring positivity, or it could mean bringing yourself out of dream world and making an effort to find a more down-to-earth, but realistic approach to what you want to achieve. It seems straight forward, but I can’t be the only person who hears excuses like “that’s just the way I am” or “that’s just how I think”, and uses them herself from time to time. It’s less about who we are than many people think, it’s a lot more in how we individually shape and utilize the strengths and inclinations we were born with to our advantage.

Category four is what I believe to be the most important role in friendship maintenance, and that’s empathy.

Contrary to popular belief, empathy is not all about sharing an experience. Empathy is about so much more than “I know what you’re going through because I went through it too.” Sure, that’s part of it, it’s a very valuable part of it, but it’s only a scratch on the surface. Empathy is the interpretation of subtle signals, and the feelings behind them. Empathy is all about intuition, judgment, and anticipation. If you were ever going to convince someone you were psychic, your first go-to mastered skill would be empathy. The thing about empathy, is that it’s a lot like film editing…if a person is good at it, you don’t notice it. If they suck, you’re filled with rage. We don’t tend to notice when another person is recognizing the signals we’re sending out and meeting our needs, because all they are really doing is maintaining our positive norm; they’re keeping us happy. We feel understood, we feel like our strengths are valued, and no attention is brought to our weaknesses. It’s when a person lacks empathy that we tend to get riled up. And no one’s perfect, we’ve all made bad calls when it comes to this aspect of EQ. A bad empathetic call could come in a number of forms – teasing someone about something that hits a sore spot, acting in a way you believe is harmless but affects someone else differently, hell, it could be giving someone socks for Christmas when they hinted at wanting a scarf. Really, empathy is about being aware, and being willing to accept the fact that while you will never be able to understand the reason behind the wants and needs of everyone, you don’t need to in order to do what you can to make sure they get those things. It’s about understanding that there are things you will never understand, and making the effort anyway. We all live on the same planet, but we all spin in vastly different worlds. We humans have got to find a way to make that work if we ever want to get along on a deeper-than-surface level.

Last but not least in the five-part EQ structure is headed by social skills. Influential, communicative, solid leader, catalyst of change, conflict manager, nurturing, cooperative, and a valuable team mate are all traits of someone who has conquered this particular EQ category. These social skills are paramount to a person’s success in life, especially with networking being so

prominent in career developing. It’s no longer what you know, it’s who…and it’s pretty difficult to get to know those ‘who’s’ if you’re an uncooperative dick who thrives on conflict and feeds on the self-loathing of the weak. It’s one of those ‘duh’ traits, which we’re all aware successful people need to have on some level, but I always think it’s interesting to compare and see the role it plays with the other four categories of a high EQ.

It’s ab out underst and ing t hat t here are t hings you will never underst and , and making t he effort any way. We all live on t he same planet , b ut we all spin in vast ly d ifferent worlds.

There we have it, a very wordy, shaky explanation of something that I have come to place a lot of importance on over the years. I guess it fascinates me because as much as IQ makes us what we are, as humans, pushes us toward breakthroughs in every imaginable academic specialty, EQ makes us who we are, pushing us toward breakthroughs with each other. The reason EQ plays such a large role in our success with each other and ourselves is because, ultimately, the planet we live on, and the path we end up taking is reliant completely on each other. Whether that reliance is direct, or incredibly distant, we’re what make the world go round at the moment, and we can either do what we can to make that work, or go our own way and fail miserably. I’m not saying we all have to eat a cake of rainbows and be happy, (she doesn’t even go here! lol) I’m just saying if we make the effort to think, feel, swallow a bit of pride, and make the effort to recognize what each of us needs to be even just a little bit happier, we’ll be wiser, more competent humans. And I think that’s a pretty cool thing.

19

Things That Sound Really Bad B u t A r e A c t u a l ly F i n e

Amelia Petrovich | Illustration by Logan Gubb

Life is full of fear, but it’s more full of people talking about how it’s full of fear. There are some genuinely scary things out there that we should all be wary of- stuff like wasps or angry drunksbut most of the time people dramatize the ordinary (and sometimes even the beneficial) for the sake of… I don’t know, drama?

It’s nice to think that you return home from work or uni each day a courageous conqueror, having battled through a flood of terror and first-world hardship to arrive safe and sound at your own door. But, in reality, even things that sound terrifying at first end up being nothing more than a quiet “meh” on the freaky scale.

There are a few specific things that I, as a fearless and wonderful human, have conquered over the years only to realize in retrospect that I’d been a dick to fear at all. These things I’ll now share so you can trudge through the world with a little bit less fear than before. Because honestly, it’s not all that bad.

HOLDING BABIES Anyone who has ever held someone else’s baby for the first time will understand the unavoidable ‘That’s So Raven’-esque visions of cracking wee skulls, and angered new parents.

Babies feel so small, delicate and vulnerable and you’re just standing there dumbfounded like a huge klutz ready to fumble and make this kid cry at any moment. But you know what? Babies are small. How can they contribute to any potentially huge blunders if they’re just so damn small?

Rather than leaping from your arms and swan diving onto the hard ground below, most babies will just curl up into your chest and maybe vomit a bit. I mean, it’s sort of startling, but it’s not the worst.

GETTING A TATTOO

BIG AIRPORTS

Cutting to the chase, these aren’t exactly pain free. I mean if you think about it, essentially its needles piercing your skin over and over, so it’s pretty unlikely that getting a tattoo is something you won’t feel at all. That being said, there are parts of your body that aren’t excruciating to get done, like the back of your neck or your ass apparently. To me, a tattoo felt roughly akin to being a human etching pad- a sensation that I feel isn’t all too unfamiliar if you own unfriendly cats. Like, it wasn’t the best fun ever, but considering the fact that you end up with gorgeous art all over you forever, it’s a very small price to pray for something you’ll be (hopefully) eternally proud of. Plus think of all the wussy, basic people you went to high school with who have dinky little hip tatts or whatever- if they can withstand it, you can too!

Notoriously hated for containing masses of people and oodles of confusion, big airports somehow seem daunting even if you’ve never been to one. But I reckon think about it this way, bigger airports mean more people right? And more people mean more signs in more languages, right?

Then surely, with so many signs and notices, that would minimize confusion levels throughout, yeah? It kind of seems to. Big airports become a lot less terrifying if, instead of gawking at all the other tourists around you, you keep your eyes above their heads and on all the signposting plastered everywhere. Arrows and icons will guide you the entire way around Heathrow, or Changi, or wherever you are, siphoning you off to the correct gate so quickly you won’t even notice that you did the whole thing without one awkward airport staff encounter, go you!

CALLING AN AMBULANCE The circumstances surrounding this kind of thing aren’t always the most relaxing, but the simple act of calling the ambulance and talking to people on the other line is actually completely okay. My biggest worries were always that either people wouldn’t believe me and would tell me to harden up or that I’d panic so much I would be totally garbled and indecipherable. Neither of these are things that happen. You see, emergency services people are professionals who are used to dealing with everyone ringing in and being hot messes. They’re good at it! They’re hot mess capable, it’s amazing! Also no emergency team is going to tell you that they’re not coming to sort you out, they’ll ask you a bunch of questions to assess the situation, but all of this is done to help paramedics once they get there rather than to determine if your emergency is worth following up.

So just chill, don’t stress about being a crazy phone mess because these guys have your back.

COOKING CHICKEN If it’s stringy and white looking in the middle, you won’t get salmonella.

Break every piece in half and turn it all into mincemeat if you have to, just have faith that as soon as it looks white and stringy in the center, you will have a happy time. Life is too short to be spooked by your casserole.

TINDER DATES Just do it! Just do the thing and meet the good-looking stranger! Of course, stay safe and everything, but remember the cutie on the other side of that swipe-right doesn’t know you either and is probably just as anxious.

How adorable is that anyway? Two slightly anxious strangers conquering their slight anxiety to work out just what makes the other so cute, it’s practically a teen novel. Everybody starts out as a stranger and at least you know this one thinks you’re lovely already… imagine how besotted they might be once they actually meet you. Get it tiger!

21

Debate: To Meat, or Not To Meat?

MEAT Julie Cleaver

molars to grind it. So eating meat is as natural and inherent as storytelling and dancing around fires.

Since meat has been a part of our diet for so long, our bodies definitely need it to function well. This is because meat is packed with vitamins and minerals that are fundamental to our survival.

Many vegetarians get deprived of these vitamins, which can result in fatigue and sickness. Meat also contains essential amino acids that help balance our neurotransmitters (signals that get sent from our brain to our bodies). These amino acids are so crucial, research done by the University of Graz showed vegetarians are two to three times more likely to develop depression, anxiety, eating disorders and other syndromes.

Meat is a great source of low fat protein, which is good for putting on muscle and staying full for a long period of time. It also helps keep our blood sugar levels steady. This reduces unhealthy food cravings and prevents diabetes and other chronic diseases.

I think quite a few vegetarians and vegans would agree with some of the points I have raised. Perhaps some of them even think that in an ideal world, everyone would enjoy meat.

However, these days many people chose to go veggie due to the environmental implications of farming. Although this is such a valid point, collapsing the farming industry is probably not the best idea. Millions of people all over the world would be out of work if we all stopped eating meat. Think of how much New Zealand alone relies on farming?

Let me begin my spiel by quoting one of the greatest movies of all times: “It’s the circle, the circle of life” (Lion King, 1996).

That’s right my friends, eating meat is a part of the natural cycle of life. Big fish eat small fish, and big (and little) humans eat animals. Do you think a lioness ponders the ethical and emotional implications of hunting a gazelle? No way, she just kills to feed her cubs.

But of course us humans are so much more complex than animals, right? We have emotions, spirituality, cities, and even, dare I say, morals. That’s why most people act on impulse and only really think about sex, food and sleep. And that’s why we kill our own species by the millions for… actually I don’t really know what for. Just cos we’re so much more intelligent than animals.

Anyway, some of my vegan friends have told me “humans weren’t designed to eat meat. We’re so sick, we just eat it anyway.” However I feel that argument does not properly understand the theory of evolution. Whether God created the earth in the beginning or not, every living thing on the planet has gone through a process of adapting to its environment and evolving over the course of many years to suit it. So it doesn’t matter if humans were ‘designed’ to eat meat or not, we have evolved to depend on it. And anyone who says otherwise should stop guzzling back iron pills.

Also, humans have actually been surviving on meat since the beginning. That’s why we have incisors to tear meat and

Basically everyone outside the major cities would go broke.

Also, Mad Butcher stores across the country would close down, leaving the Warriors with absolutely zero funding. In third world countries, losing a farm may result in people losing their lives.

So even though I recognise the current farming practices are harming our beloved mother nature, instead of going cold turkey (excuse the pun) I think we should work to enforce more ethical farming methods.

Which brings me to my next point. Animals and the environment do not need saving: humans do. The earth was functioning fine before humans became so powerful our selfish nature actually started to do serious harm. So instead of fixing the surface of the problem, we should target the core, which is greed. If it weren’t for selfishness and capitalism, people would probably practice more sustainable farming rather than only thinking about dollar bills.

Lastly, I know I started this article off insulting humans, but secretly I actually think we are beautiful beings capable of greatness.

Which is why we should focus on helping our own species, not animals. Right now all over the earth people are dying. Children are dying. A few children have probably died of starvation since you started reading this article. So as much as “cows are nice” and “chickens are nice” humans can be really nice too, and I think we should try to save them before we think about cows that literally stand around and eat grass all day until they die.

People are all entitled to make their own ethical decisions and I respect the discipline and passion of vegetarians and vegans, but I have bigger fish to fry than people who fry fish.

VEGAN Amelia Petrovich

Therefore, if you sit there one day and think “holy shit, consuming animal products means that I’m contributing to a lucrative industry founded on the imprisonment and exploitation of other creatures and I’m actually not okay with that,” the most natural thing is probably going to be veganism. Yes despite having incisor teeth, yes despite being able to digest lactose, it’s natural because self-evaluation is something we’re also designed to do.

So perhaps veganism as a concept isn’t as philosophically unnatural as it’d first appear, and that’s great. But if I’m going to practice what I preach and actually build an argument based on the merits of the lifestyle (rather than how exploitative and crappy the farming of animal products arguably is), I should probably kick off a bit of a list right about now.

The way I see it, veganism is largely a response to a problem.

Justifications I’ve heard include obviously veganism as a response to ethical concerns, but also as a response to environmental issues, sustainability, or even a solution to total immersion in capitalist culture.

These points are all valid and for a lot of people they’re super compelling, prompting so many previous meat eaters to make the switch. My favourite justification though, is veganism as beneficial and positive in a stand-alone sense, kinda like how a person might love the colour blue just because it’s gorgeous rather than because all the other colours suck.

Arguing a minority perspective is always a delicate thing.

On one hand you want people to come around willingly to your perspective, and on the other hand it’s hard to fight a majority without attacking it. People don’t like to listen to you if they’re being attacked, self-defense comes first, and so often you’re stuck criticizing and berating intentionally deaf ears.

Bearing that in mind then, let it be said that I’m not arguing for veganism because consuming animal products is inherently bad (though this is an angle I could take), but rather because it is good and justified in its own right without juxtaposing against meat eating at all.

One argument I hear fairly frequently against veganism is that eating nothing but plants is ‘not natural’ for humans.

Bringing words like “nature” and “natural” into a debate like this is something I really love because as much as they seem to justify the consumption of animal products (because we’ve all hunted meat for centuries and blah blah blah), the concept of what is human nature can definitely be used to champion veganism just as well.

Sure humans naturally consume and process animal products like many other critters, but one thing that we are able to do that no other animal can is evaluate our own ethics and personal decisions. If you’re prepared to argue that consuming animal products is natural and therefore should be done, you need to also accept that personal evaluations of ethics are equally natural and should be acted upon if we are to retain humanity.

Being vegan is a whole lifestyle shift, but one very important part of it is an adjustment of diet. This is a really, really cool thing especially for people who transition into veganism (rather than those raised in accordance with the lifestyle) because it prompts you to evaluate and learn more about your own nutritional needs. A lot of the time, people who don’t eat meat live longer and suffer less health afflictions than those who do, not because meat is bad for you necessarily but because those who have switched are the kind of people who take an active interest in their own health and well being.

Have you ever heard the snide, snippy little questions about opinionated vegans? My meat-advocate father once hit me with a cheeky “you know how you tell if someone is vegan?

They tell you within five minutes of meeting you”. I think it was intended to be snarky, but I actually think that’s a pretty cool thing! Veganism is a minority lifestyle currently but being part of a minority teaches you a hecktonne about being brave and justifying yourself in a short space of time. I mean, I’ve had about 800 words to chat about veganism with you, but if you’re actually living that life and someone asks you why you’ve got about two minutes to explain before they lose interest (probably). That’s a lot of pressure and it takes a lot of self-assurance to face that kind of thing every day, but if you can pull it off, you actually have a really decent chance to educate and inform people.

So all in all, deciding to go vegan is both a natural part of being human and super cute and beneficial for a bunch of reasons!

If none of that convinces you though, Lindt dark chocolate is vegan. I see nothing wrong with a Lindt chocolate based lifestyle.

23

DO THE BREW Matthew Cattin I bought my first homebrew kit off a likely liver-damaged old man in Kohimarama. Such was his sadness at giving up his beloved brew setup, I felt I was robbing him of his first born. Considering he was probably primed on pilsner when he dipped his wick, I suppose - in a way - I was.

What should have been an awkward five minute TradeMe exchange became a two hour tutorial on how to get the best results, complete with amusing stories of his drunken hay days. He explained he was simply too old to keep brewing, and as we emptied his garage of crates, fermenters and bottling instruments, he visibly deflated. He was happy to see his life’s work go to somebody young and eager to get fucked up for cheap, but for him, it was the end of an era of average beer, disorientated afternoons, and being too horsed to give his missus any sugar.

Thus began my homebrew journey, a ceremonious handing down of knowledge and equipment, washed up alcoholic to eager amateur. Since that fateful day, I have made many a brew, some good, some bad, but always cheap and able to do the job.

Before I go into the method, I’ll fill you in with the benefits of homebrew.

1. It’s cheap as chups. Depending on the brand of your ingredients, a standard brew of 23L (or 70 330mL bottles) will set you back between $30 and $50. If you break that down, that’s $5 a dozen for a cheaper brand, or about $8.60 a dozen for a fancy one. Now, maths was never my strong suit in school, but that’s farkin’ cheap. Sure there is a little bit more effort involved, but it’s an exciting process and there is nothing more satisfying than hearing that classic ‘PISHH’ sound when the cap pops off of your own product.

1. First thing’s first - equipment. You will need one fermenting container of around 30L, plenty of bottles and caps, a bottle-capper, sterilizer and an airlock. It sounds like a mission, but you can generally find a homebrew starter kit with all of the above for around one hundy.

Ingredients is the next thing you’ll need, and depending on your budget, you can spend anywhere between $2580, depending on the brand and the level of fancy you want to bring to your brew. I have personally never spent more than $50 on a beer and had some absolute pearlers, and likewise, I can vouch for the $30 kits, which are equally delicious, but a touch less fancy. You will need one tin of malt extract, brewing sugar, sugar drops, and good old fashioned tap water.

2. Cleanliness is absolutely key when it comes to brewing.

Everything you use in the process has to be clean and sterile to avoid contamination.

Design by Nicole Koch 2. Although I can’t personally vouch for this - because I rarely drink enough to get hung - many people who homebrew will tell you it’s hangover free. It sounds like an old wive’s tale, but apparently, homebrew is free of preservatives and other additives which worsen the hangover. I imagine hangover-free is probably a stretch (homebrew is alcohol so you will get sick if you overdo it), from what I’ve heard, the hangovers aren’t as severe after a sloppy night on the brew.

3. My favourite thing about homebrew is that it leaves room for creativity - your Heineken becomes Meineken.

If you want to boil up some chocolate with your stout, go wild. If you fancy some citrus in your lager, make it happen.

If you’re using store-bought kits, you have the opportunity to follow the method to a T, or you can throw caution to the wind and go your own way.

And then there are the labels - such fun. If you’re design savvy (or have friends that are) you can make your brew look the part, even if it tastes like shit. Hoorah.

4. It’s better on the environment. Once you get your hands on enough bottles, you’re all set, and can recycle them as many times as you wish.

I have found older people are rather skeptical about homebrew, and probably with good reason. Back in the day, it was very much a DIY exercise, and the ingredients available were nothing like what is currently on the market.

But what I really want to hammer home in this article is just how easy it is to make delicious beer at home. Here’s how.

You’re dealing with a warm fermentation process, and if you let your beer get bugs in it, you’ll have fungus bigger than saucers in your fermenter - I know this because I’ve been there and it took all I had not to throw up from the smell. Not ideal.

3. Once your fermenter is sterile, you’re going to want to heat up your sugar and malt extract. Easy peasy. Get yourself a large clean pot, bring 3L of water to the boil, add your malt and your sugar, give it a mix, and boom.

You’re almost done. Add it to the fermenter, top it up to 23L from the tap and sprinkle your yeast on top. Put the lid on, put a dash of water in the airlock, and that’s it!

4. For the next week or so, depending on the recipe and temperature, your brew will bubble away happily. This is called primary fermentation. The bubbles in the airlock are from excess carbon dioxide, produced by the yeast as they “eat” the sugars. Alcohol is another byproduct of this process. For me, waiting for a brew to ferment is the most difficult part of brewing, and I often take many taste samples over the 7-10 day fermentation process. If you have self-restraint issues like I do, I’d suggest topping your brew up to a little over 23L when you start to account for your greediness and curiosity.

5. When your brew has stopped bubbling, this means the yeast has process all of the sugars, and it’s time to bottle.

With everything needing to be sterilized, including the caps, bottling is the most time consuming, hands on part of brewing, so I would recommend getting a gang together to help.

6. Once it’s all bottled, all you have to do is wait for a summer’s day, find a bottle opener, and get hazy.

Convinced? I am too. My brew is currently bubbling away in the garage. Roll on summer.

25

IN SHORT

proposals, the government moved on to other projects such as the flag referendum and new ways to shift blame around.

NEW BILL TO RESTRICT POOR PEOPLES' OXYGEN Kieran Bennett In what is being called a bold and uncompromising move, the government is set to introduce a bill that would place limits on the amount of oxygen beneficiaries could breathe in. Tabled

by Minister for Social Development, Ann Tolley, the bill is seen as the next step in managing the problem that is poor people.

Since taking power, the government has found itself increasingly under pressure to present some kind of solution to the increasing numbers of beneficiaries and people living below the poverty line. While their initial solution of doing everything they could to make the problem worse was met with great success, the public did not respond well. In addition, it was felt by the Taxpayers Association that even a cut in beneficiary spending was too much spending. After a number of rejected

Now however, the government has agreed that this close to an election year, it’s time to do something outrageous to distract from past mistakes. Her black carapace glittering under the lights, Miss Tolley outlined to media her plan to restrict the amount of oxygen that beneficiaries would be entitled to receive. "Really what we’re trying to do is make sure that no one is breathing more than they rightly deserve" she said to media as her pincers clicked together. She then went on to explain that instead of using tax payers’ money to lift people out of poverty, it would instead to be used to ensure that no one was being lifted out too quickly. She then unveiled a new machine that would be strapped to all beneficiaries, measuring their oxygen intake and shutting it off after a certain, completely arbitrary, level was reached. As a myriad of toxins dripped from her swollen abdomen, she was quick to point out however that should beneficiaries attend WINZ seminars, WINZ workshops, check in with WINZ each week or simply bash their heads against a block of concrete, their allowance of air would possibly be increased after a four to five month review. When questioned as to whether the government would be better suited to treating the symptomatic causes of poverty and making the country a fairer place in general, she cleaned her second set of eyes with her tongue, eventually admitted she couldn't understand the question and then consumed the heads of the male reporters.

The proposed bill is expected to be rushed through under urgency sometime next week with oxygen restrictions to begin immediately. While not all beneficiaries will receive the proper equipment, the ones who don’t will be expected to do their own monitoring and hold their breath if they go over the limit.

The event will be held on 1st November 2015, located in Four Seasons/Piko Restaurant at AUT University City Campus starting at 5pm.

Auckland is renowned for its outstanding food, wine, seafood, meat and fresh produce; and not just for its culinary delights, but its amazing hospitality services from back of house to front of house. Auckland is where we work, study and live. It’s our playground and we love it! So why not share and promote the amazing opportunities and talent we have right here at our doorstep.

The event will consist of eight small courses along with canapes and a cocktail on arrival. You will also get the chance to meet and greet some of Auckland’s top chefs in addition to industry professionals and well-known brands.

Come along and join us, taste a bite of Auckland.

OUR CITY, OUR STORY Jenevie Ibarra

For more information and prices please visit our website. www.ourcityourstory.co.nz"

Libraries and bookstores will now receive a fine of up to $10,000 for supplying Into the River by Ted Dawe - an award winning novel about a young Maori teenager and his struggles with moving to Auckland.

“Us conservative white people need to stand together and enforce our own morals on everyone else,” says Bob McCoskrie, the director of Family First.

Parents who live in the Remuera district have spoken out in favor of the books banning. One concerned mother told Debate, “Parents are excellent at monitoring what our children watch online, and the same needs to be done for our kids’ books.”

BOOK BANNED FOR SAYING THE WORD “DIDDLE”

All across the country Family First has been throwing R14 parties to celebrate the novels banishment. Life FM mentioned in a media release that their business is looking optimistic, as their listeners double during these events. Other companies such as Tip Top are also happy, as these get togethers have increased their white bread sales by 14 percent.

Julie Cleaver Colin Craig, the former Conservative Party Leader, is in favor of The government has banned a novel for saying the word “diddle” after ultra-conservative group, Family First, complained.

Other offensive phrases such as “do do” and “wee wee” were also written in the R14 Kiwi book aimed at young adults.

the government’s decision. “This is democracy in action. We, as a government, must actively prohibit books that may differ from our beliefs of right and wrong. This is how to foster a healthy, democratic society.”

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27

New York | London | Milan | Paris Shivan Model: Olivia Round @ Vanity Models H & M: A Young Kim Photographer: Shivan from www.gathum.co.nz Clothes from: Paper Bag Princess This week will be the end of Fashion Week from around the world. I can just feel the relief from all the models, designers and editors. The four main fashion weeks that everybody looks forward to starts in New York, moves its way through London, then to Milan, and ends in Paris. The juggernaut of fashion editors, models and industry people move in groups to follow this fashion pilgrimage.

Apart from all the action that goes on inside the fashion event on the runway, I always enjoy seeing the hustle and bustle of the pedestrians and their style to and from the shows. Every year I reckon the street style keeps getting better, and I find designers and editors are looking closer to the street to find inspiration again. However if you look closer, each of these cities has a distinctive style. These fashionable pedestrians owe their distinctive style to the culture, tastes and inspirations that their city has to offer. There are always little things that distinguish street style and its people between New York, London, Milan and Paris.

NEW YORK Street style in New York is described to be brave and bold. New Yorkers hold their personalities very close to themselves when dressing. They are not afraid to show who they are and have their clothes represent that. Because of the summer, most New Yorkers tried to take into considerations the heat when dressing, however some New Yorkers, no matter how hot the weather got, still came in street couture to the shows.

LONDON London street style to me is known for pushing boundaries, but in a way only the British know how. With a touch of British modesty and humour, and the idea of bringing back classics with a twist, these elements contributed to an amazing London Fashion Week. During London Fashion Week, the streets saw pedestrians bring back the classic denim and embrace new silhouettes and materials to bring a new perspective to staple classics.

MILAN Now Milan, it’s hard to put Milan Fashion Week into any box because Milan is so well known for its un-predictableness. With impeccable tailoring and craftsmanship, Milan brought to the streets classic clean looks, while also incorporating a bit of the Italian summer into the looks. A tailored bohemian vibe was prominent around pedestrians during the Milan Fashion Week, and it made for a colourful one.

PARIS There is no better city to end Fashion Week than in the city of Paris. Usually Paris is known for its romance, embodied by the iconic conservative French women in red; however this year we saw strong looks in the streets of Paris for Fashion Week. Pants galore, this year. Women were practical and masculine in the way they dressed for the shows. Taking to the streets in strong colours and masculine tailoring, women steered clear from the predictable feminine prints and dresses. Overall, it brought an interesting end to Fashion Week, seeing distinctive styles from around the world.

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WA SS GOOD? MISS YOU ALREADY

Miss You Already focusses on two best friends: outrageous, former party girl, Millie, and the straighter Jess who’s trying to get pregnant. Their lives are thrown into disarray when Millie is diagnosed with breast cancer, forcing Jess to put her IVF plans on hold to care for her friend.

The leading performances are fantastic. Toni Collette is always amazing, and shines once again as Millie, showing multiple layers as she struggles with her diagnosis and treatment. Drew Barrymore proves a perfect foil in Jess, and the two have some real chemistry together. The supporting cast doesn’t really add much, the husbands largely just there while the chance of providing a different perspective through Millie’s mother Miranda is missed.

Directed by Catherine Hardwicke Starring Toni Collette, Drew Barrymore, Dominic Cooper

Reviewed by Ethan Sills I don’t usually watch films about cancer. While I’m not a big crier at the movies, watching someone die, whether real or fictional, can be a fairly emotional and draining experience, and isn’t my first choice when it comes to light entertainment. The trailers for Miss You Already suggested something different, hinting at a quirkier take on the usual cancer movie tropes. Yet while definitely entertaining at times, the film ends up just trying to make you cry.

THE MARTIAN

The film definitely tries to be funnier, and largely succeeds.

There are plenty of good insults and comic scenes, and the chemistry does make for some entertaining moments.

Unfortunately, the film doesn’t follow through with being funny, at the halfway point throwing in more drama and playing up the emotion. I would have preferred it play up the edgier, comedic side rather than try really hard to be a tearjerker.

Despite being conventional and fairly predictable, I enjoyed this based solely on the lead performances. It wouldn’t be the first thing I’d recommend, but would make a worthwhile watch for fans of the actresses. Just make sure you have some tissues handy.

presumed dead; his team take off without him, unaware he is still alive. Alone and with a small supply of food, Watney must work out how to survive long enough to contact NASA and get them to rescue him.

First off, The Martian isn’t perfect. The ensemble cast is made up of very talented people playing very bland characters doing very little. The film rushes between scenes so nothing is focussed on for long and problems are quickly resolved so we can move onto the next. It also goes basically exactly as you’d expect and follows the same path that other movies about stranded people have gone.

Directed by Ridley Scott Starring Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain, Chiwetel Ejiofor

Reviewed by Ethan Sills People getting stranded in space is a big movie trend at the moment. First we had Sandra Bullock in Gravity; then there was Matthew McConaughey and Anne Hathaway in Interstellar; now, we’ve got Matt Damon stuck on Mars. While its predecessors boasted ground-breaking visual effects and award nominated performances, The Martian, surprisingly, turns out to be the most enjoyable of the three.

If you’ve seen the trailer, you know the plot. Storm hits Mars; NASA team evacuates; astronaut Mark Watney is hit,

Despite its faults, Martian is ultimately a very entertaining blockbuster. While Interstellar got bogged down in a complicated plot, and Gravity was let down by stupid dialogue, Martian is a light, breezy but engaging thrill ride.

It’s all held together by Matt Damon’s humorous and moving performance as Watney; he has enough personality to detract from the underdeveloped supporting cast, and he keeps you invested as the movie barrels towards an unexpectedly tense conclusion.

The Martian is straightforward, overcrowded, and easy to nitpick, but at the same time is hilarious, thrilling and makes you truly care about what happens to Watney. It’s designed to entertain, and on that level, it more than succeeds.

Librarian of the Week

HAVE YOUR SAY !

Anna Matich Engineering Computer & Mathematical Sciences

At AUT your opinion counts!

Go to AUTonline homepage from WEEK 11 to participate in our surveys See www.aut.ac.nz/surveys for more information

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Be in the draw to win one of two iPad Airs and many gift vouchers – check your survey for more details!

Hi, my name is Anna. I am Liaison Librarian for lots of interesting areas - Engineering, Computer Sciences, Mathematics, Astronomy and Physics. My role is to meet, network and collaborate with the Schools and students. I have worked in research organisations, government and law libraries. I am also a graduate of AUT having studied Multimedia.

Advances in technology have made it possible for libraries to provide an increasing number of services online. At AUT we provide help to get the most out of these services by holding workshops, visiting classes and providing online guides and ‘Ask a Librarian’. In the future, you will see more and better ways to access the academic publications essential for your studies.

There is a trend towards more interdisciplinary studies. This is particularly true for the Engineering and Computer Science Schools.

It is an exciting time for the Schools as they merge to create a STEM hub. The aim is to improve competitiveness in engineering and technology research, and the Library supports this by providing access to the best information available for these disciplines.

There is a demand in the workforce for architectural and construction engineers and the Engineering School has responded with a new Built Environment Engineering Department. The Library is supporting BEE with new resources including a new subject guide: http://aut.ac.nz.libguides.com/BEE. We have guides available to help with other subjects too. Have a look at: http://aut.ac.nz.libguides.com.

We are always looking for new information sources, better ways to make them available, and providing instruction in getting the best out of them. I am focused on helping with access to the best resources so that students achieve the best results!

Email me if you would like to discuss access to information for your area of study or need help with other Library services.

Anna Matich Liaison Librarian

amatich@aut.ac.nz 921 9999 ext 8511 31

City Campus Library

Fast forward nine years, and I got possibly one of the best messages of my year. My beautiful friend had secured tickets for me to go see the man whose films, novels and comics had shaped my world, and indeed my personality. I literally jumped at the chance.

Smith walked out onto the stage like an average Joe, and began by reading some aggressive tweets the audience had sent him during the extended wait before the show. "Hurry up you ass-clown, parking is $15 an hour here". The greatest part was that he was genuinely stoked his fans were such a diverse bunch of cynical smart asses.

For the next three hours, my idol spoke lyrically on life, love, comics and movies, which if you are like me are one in the same. People stood up to ask him questions, and he answered each in turn, and invited every questioner up on stage for a generous hug and for a signing, he took the piss out of every single person who stepped up, and most importantly, of himself. Sadly I was next in line when his tour manager signaled for him to finish.

AN EVENING WITH KEVIN SMITH Shelley Reive At the tender age of 14, I submitted my first media studies assignment. The subject of my report was Dogma; a work of religious satire genius directed by a man who would become my favourite director, Kevin Smith. He has birthed some of the most hilarious films I have seen. I thought Dogma was fantastic. Starring Ben Affleck and Matt Damon as jilted angels cast down from heaven, hell bent on getting home, it challenged every aspect of Catholic Dogma, and every aspect of religion in general. It stared me in the face and said "you really believe in this shit?". I wrote about it with a passion that I had not encountered in any class previously.

I was so proud of my indie film prowess that I forgot to take into account that I attended a heavily Christian school. Cue the meeting with my parents and sit downs regarding my disturbed taste in film. Worth it.

When an avid Smith-onian asked for one piece of advice to carry with him through life, Smith advised to "Play the game, or get the fuck off the ice", a message his wife, Jen, reminds him of with every project. None of which she has enjoyed until his most recent masterpiece, "Tusk". Think "Human Centipede" with a walrus. He was willing to mortgage his house to fund this movie, until a father of his daughter, Harley Quinn's, school friend offered to appear in it. That man was Johnny Depp.

He was almost delirious as he told the story of meeting Depp for the first time, while Depp was having a prosthetic nose applied. It took him almost fifteen minutes to realize that Depp had a subtle penis nose attached to his face, something Smith thought was absolute genius and allowed Depp to wear the entire film. As he said, "it's fucking Johnny Depp, you don't direct Johnny Depp. You thank him for every minute he is on your set".

There were so many stunningly hilarious anecdotes I wish I could write down, but it would take more pages than this magazine has. When he finally said goodnight, I went outside and realised the busses had stopped running two hours earlier. I sat in the pouring rain at one in the morning, a three hour wait stretched ahead of me, and tweeted Kevin Smith, my hero, about my ordeal. He immediately favourited my tweet. Worth every cold and miserable second.

THE SIMPLE OPEN OMELETTE. William Bowman

Serves 2 An omelette is easily the best way to transform an egg; as few ingredients as you want or as many. This is the most basic recipe to create the best vehicle to deliver the remnants from a fridge clean out. A blank culinary canvas!

INGREDIENTS • 4 eggs • 2 egg shells of cream • 1 knob of butter • 1 glug of olive oil • Salt and pepper

METHOD Beat eggs, cream, salt and pepper.

Melt butter and oil in medium-sized frying pan on a medium heat. Add the egg mixture. At this point you can let your creative juices flow and add your desired toppings – I have added Swiss chard, Parmesan and smoky onions – but you can add anything you feel like (I have suggested a few combos below, to get you started). Gently stir until the mixture becomes firm on the bottom then finish under a hot grill.

Caramelised onions and feta, tomatoes and parsley, roast veggies, or fresh chili and a grate of cheddar. The options are literally limited to your imagination!

Good luck.

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S

PUZ ZLE

M OV I E S T H AT A R E 2 5 Y E A R S O L D

Goodfellas

Misery

Thefreshprinceofbelair

Dreamon

Edwardscissorhands

Jacobsladder

Wings

Ducktalesmovie

Prettywoman

Theflash

Inlivingcolour

Shipwrecked

Homealone

Twinpeaks

Mrbean

Therescuersdownunder

Ghost

Lawandorder

Houseofcards

Blossom

Circle all the words in the wordfind, tear this page out & pop it into the box on the side of the red debate stands, and you could win this motherflippin’ sweet prize:

Name:

Email:

TWO free Burger King cheeseburger vouchers [222 Queen Street] Yipee!

TECH CENTRAL OPEN 24/7 12th OCTOBER TO 12TH NOVEMBER 2015

In response to student feedback following a successful trial in Semester One, ICT Services will be opening WA4 Tech Central 24/7 from: Monday 12th October to Thursday 12th November 2015 For current AUT students only (AUT ID card required) • 110 PCs available, book in advance or walk-in • 4 printers available for print, copy and scan • Collaborative study spaces available for use

Please note access to WA4 is via Hikuwai Plaza only We would appreciate your assistance in keeping the area tidy by taking all of your rubbish with you.

Please respect other students by keeping the noise level to a minimum.

Your feedback is valuable to us, please complete the feedback forms (available from security staff during the extended hours).

For more information go to: ithelp.aut.ac.nz/techcentral247

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