My Experiences on Queer Dating By Anonymous
misogynistic men who shame men for
them out. Although not illegal, these large
imbalances. I saw a TikTok recently explaining this type of situation. The user explained how it’s completely natural for younger people to find older people attractive – such as being 14 and finding Hugh Jackman attractive (at least in my case anyway), as older people represent a sense of maturity and independence that a lot of younger people idolise but are yet to obtain. This is romanticised by the younger person through a sense of attraction. If a partner is significantly older, however, what can they obtain? They can obtain a sense of power over the younger person, be it economically, with maturity, or even physical stature; they overpower us, and this power dynamic
age gaps allow for problematic power
isn’t healthy in a romantic situation.
being feminine, to the predators who prey When I talk to my mum about wanting a
on younger guys, to the constant body
boyfriend, she always responds with the
shaming and racism, Grindr has been a
same phrase.
headache to use from the beginning.
“There are plenty of fish in the sea,”
Grindr is the perfect breeding ground
– Mum, circa all the time.
for predators to prey on younger gay
But what she doesn’t realise for me, is that most of those fish are straight. And of those fish that aren’t straight, they have extremely high standards about what other non-straight fish they are looking for. Queer dating is like being a snapper in a school of goldfish. It’s already difficult being gay when being queer is still stigmatised in today’s society, but queer dating isn’t making it easier. In addition to there being significantly
guys. I can’t speak on behalf of every gay guy who has used the app, but I have definitely had my fair share of older men who have wanted to hook up with me, the oldest being 72 (I’m 19 for some perspective on how large the age gap is). Some of these men are so desperate as to try to bargain for these boys with money through ‘rewards,’ as a way to prostitute
fewer of us compared to our heterosexual counterparts, gay men just love to make it even harder for themselves. As soon as I turned 18 I started using dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble and Hinge. For the most part, these experiences haven’t been too bad. But Grindr, the most well-known app amongst queer men and trans women, has been a horrible experience. From the overtly
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A lot of gay men only fully express their sexuality through online places such as Grindr. The sense of freedom online platforms give, allows these men to say whatever they want without facing the consequences of their actions.
