debate issue 11, 2010 by Debate Magazine

issue 11 2010 i

market day photos

issue 11 may 2010

SMOKE FREE DEBATE

YOUTH IN REVOLT

TWENTY-FIRST CULTURE

21-25 Elliott Street www.atriumonelliott.co.nz

JAPANESE • INDIAN • SUSHI • COFFEE SHOPS • BAKERY ITALIAN • TAIWANESE • SHAVED ICE & DESSERT • MIDDLE EASTERN • MALAYSIAN VIETNAMESE • THAI • DIM SUM • PEARL MILK TEA • CHINESE

LLER ART GA

AUT

T EN S QUE ST IOTT ELL

IUM ATR LIOTT L E ON

T TS R E ALB 2

FREE PARKING AT

DR ORAL Y A M

CIVI

ATRIUM CARPARK Spend a minimum of $5 at any outlet at Atrium on Elliott and receive your first hour of parking FREE, valid Monday - Friday until 6pm, or receive your first 2 hours FREE on Saturday, Sunday & public holidays until 6pm ENTRANCE OFF ALBERT STREET

issue 11 2010

on the cover Illustration by Hayley MeGehan

publisher AuSM – Auckland Student Movement @ AUT (Inc)

printer PMP Print Ltd. all rights reserved This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUCKLAND STUDENT MOVEMENT AT AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY INCORPORATED (“AuSM”). Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly. Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AuSM. disclaimer Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, PMP Print or its subsidiaries.

5 6 7 8 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 20 21 22 23 26 27 28 29 30 33 34

Editorial Letters Creative Corner News Market Day Photos Sport Prez Sez Smoke-free Debate How To / Recipe Youth in Revolt Blowing Earth Up 21st Culture Where Are They Now? Life As A Roadie Top 10 Columns Agony Aunt / Website of the Week Suggestions/ Horoscopes Fashion What are you Wearing / Retail Review Reviews Spot the Difference Micro-celebs

DEBATE IS A MEMBER OF:

advertising contact Kate Campbell kate.campbell@aut.ac.nz

issue 11 may 2010

his week, we will tick off 150 days of 2010. It’s gone fast, right? It seems like only a month ago students were dragging themselves from their sun-induced comas into the first lectures of the year, and now everyone’s piling on the layers in an attempt to ward off the winter ills that have made its way onto campus. It is around this time students split into two distinct groups; the frantic and the lethargic. The former will be found hunched over a computer in the library, notes chaotically spread around them as they try to fit a semester’s learning into their brains over the next three weeks. Caffeine is their new Saturday night drink and town clothes take residence in the closest, while fat pants and trackies reign supreme. The latter will struggle to make it to their morning lectures, using the cold, rain or general tiredness as half-arsed justifications for their movie marathon in bed. Their presence on Facebook and Twitter will be more frequent and they’ll send you an inane amount of YouTube links and FarmVille requests. They’ll choose sleeping over assignments and study and they’ll freak out the night before something is due. May is a lethargic month. It’s nestled between two months that are filled with public holidays and university breaks. We struggle to remember the great memories of orientation, but the end we’re hurtling towards is filled with due dates, exams and study. The peak of autumn has passed and now May is flirting with the temperatures of winter. It’s cold enough for jeans and a jersey, but as soon as you throw on that winter coat to walk to university, you start sweating. The crisp, clear mornings disappear and the signature Auckland overcast returns. The dreaded four seasons in one day is starting to hit us hard. It’s far enough into the year that we can’t remember what summer felt like, but we still have to wait another six months until we can experience it again. Shows are wrapping up in the states, and movie timetables are in their yearly “lull” as they wait for the US summer blockbuster season. People are getting sick, student flats are showing its ugly faults (no heating or insulation) and out-of-towners start to ache for home comforts and their families. To sum it all up, May makes people feel like crap. I’ve fallen prey to the evil powers of May. Like clockwork, as soon as May 1 reared its ugly head, my shoulders slumped, my eyelids drooped and my motivation went on a month long vacation. I mentally cringe at the thought of attending an event that goes back 9pm, because it means I won’t be in bed until 10pm. I have developed the stamina of an 80-year-old woman. There is a lack of birthday celebrations to attend (21st season is wrapped up for me now) and the downsides of being an independent “young professional” have started to pop up. My car broke down on the same day its registration and its 10,000km service was due. I’m due for my annual dental check up, my insurance policy is about to expire and I got bitten by a whitetail spider and had to cart myself off to the doctors. Then, to top off a stellar month, our only design computer was taken away on design day, so we were Mac-less and debate-less for several hours. Oh May, you are a horrid month. Try not to let May-itis get you down. You’ve only got a week of May left, three more weeks until study break, and little over a month until you can chill out and do nothing. Power through that sluggishness, and remember, Queen’s birthday is only two weekends away, which means a much deserved Monday off.

Sam

RECEPTION City Campus Level 2, WC Building 921 9805 8am-5 pm Mon-Thurs 8am-3.30pm Fri North Shore Campus Level 2, AS Building 921 9949 8.30am-3pm Mon-Fri Manukau Campus MB107 921 9999 ext 6672 9am-3:30pm Mon-Thurs MANAGEMENT Sue Higgins General Manager 921 9999 ext 5111 sue.higgins@aut.ac.nz REPRESENTATION Veronica Ng Lam AuSM Student President 921 9999 ext 8571 vnglam@aut.ac.nz ADVOCACY Nick Buckby Liaison Manager 921 9999 ext 8379 nick.buckby@aut.ac.nz MARKETING Rebecca Williams Marketing Manager 921 9999 ext 8909 rebecca.williams@aut.ac.nz EVENTS Barry Smith Events Team Leader 921 9999 ext 8931 barry.smith@aut.ac.nz MEDIA Samantha McQueen Publications Co-ordinator 921 9999 ext 8774 samantha.mcqueen@aut.ac.nz SPORTS Melita Martorana Sports Team Leader 921 9999 ext 7259 melita.martorana@aut.ac.nz VESBAR Zane Chase Vesbar Manager 921 9999 ext 8378 zane.chase@aut.ac.nz

For a full list of contact details plus profiles of AuSM staff and student executive visit: www.ausm.org.nz

issue 11 may 2010

Yay, we got mail! But we want more! Send us your thoughts on the magazine. What is grinding your gears at university? What do you want to see more of? tell us your thoughts! Letter of the week will win two movie tickets for SkYcItY Cinemas!

debate letters policy:

Letters longer than 250 words may be subject to editing. Letters are printed as they are received – spelling and grammar will not be corrected. the editor reserves the right to decline letters without explanation. the views contained on the letters page do not necessarily represent the views of AuSM. Send your letters to PO Box 6116, Wellesley St or debate@aut.ac.nz

LETTER OF THE WEEK Dear Editor, Thanks for your article about comediennes Heidi O’Loughlin and Rose Matafeo. After two years reading Debate at AUT, I have to say this is the first time I’ve read an article from or about Pacific people - ever - besides the usual statements from the AUSM president. Looking forward to more! Pasifika student “Yay, a rant. I personally think that the magazine Debate itself, is not needed if people are going to complain about having so much black and white in it. If you’d care to think about the number of trees being chopped down, the amount of oxygen reduced in the atmosphere that’s needed for us to survive in comparison to how much pollution by smokers and vehicles. Global warming and trash increasing, people not

being helpful with recycling but only COMPLAIN about something that’s absolutely luxurious is not needed at all. As long as its clear to read, entertaining, who the *beep* cares about color. I really hate seeing people taking the magazines, flip a few pages when they’re on a walk, and chuck it into a random bin right away because there ain’t any color in them. Like the saying “Don’t judge a book by its cover” has the same theory as “don’t judge an article by its color.” Damnit. I for one appreciate this magazine even if I barely read it. I’ve however managed to make up a time slot before bed to read it, but what’s often popping in my head is why should this be printed out every week if barely anyone appreciates it fully without a speck of negativity in their minds? It ain’t for granted for AuSM to make entertainments for you, they just want our busy lives to be better. So I’d start appreciating and grow more trees than complaining about color. Peace out. Joyce

...when I drag my body up to the University of Auckland where I study, and force myself to read through the Craccum magazine, in the hopes of finding something wholesome to laugh at or make my day. Basically, I love your magazine. My sister studies at AUT, and sometimes I spend Monday mornings in bitter thought, wondering if my sister is turning your pages, and relishing each moment of it, as she thinks of me wandering aimlessly through a Craccum issue. I love that Debate has a fun, carefree and wholesome energy to it. I am so over the filth that I read in Craccum, from the overuse of the f-word, to the images of people’s small balls and vagina’s from their personal photo album collection, to the constant rants about big scary political issues. I know I’ll be skinned alive for this, but Debate kicks Craccum’s ass, hands down. When I visit home in the weekends, I raid through my sister’s room to find this little slice of heaven.

Debate is the best free magazine out, and I love the fun nature of it, because who the hell wants to read a remake of the herald on a Monday morning when attending a frikkin politics lecture. Or attending Uni for that matter. Not me. I snuck over to your campus the other week looking for your Debate stands so I could steal myself a copy, but was unsuccessful, and felt too scared to venture further in case I got lost. My sister has just informed me where I can find some copies, and the usual time of delivery. I love you, Debate. I’m sure there are other AU students who have a secret Debate fetish too. D. F

Like trees? Read debate online at www.ausm.org.nz

Promiscuous Pear: Part Three by Elana Kluner

Pear spent the whole week shopping for the perfect outfit to wear for tonight. Tonight is the night she’s been waiting for. Tonight is the night her favourite singer is coming to her city to perform. Pear and her girlfriends, Veronica and Maven, were the first in line to buy the concert tickets when they went on sale three months ago. Veronica knew one of the managers at the venue so she managed to get the girls backstage passes. They were to meet at the arena two hours prior to the show and the anticipation was driving the girls wild. Pear was wearing hip-hugging dark denim jeans with a backless red halter top and matching red stilettos. Her hair was down and wavy and her makeup turned out perfectly. Her nails were painted and she sprayed on a few extra puffs of her favourite perfume. Tonight, Pear had it ‘going on’ and was about to draw more attention then she expected. The girls pulled up to the venue and were greeted by the manager along with a big bodyguard. They slipped their backstage passes over their heads and were escorted to the entrance. Maven told the girls that she was going to give the singer her number. Pear laughed and called her a groupie and Veronica added that she already claimed him. The three girls walked through the doors and were quick to turn a couple of heads. There was a long hallway with three rooms on one side and a lounge at the end. As they passed each door, the manager told them who each room was designated to. The first door was the musician’s changing room, the next was the backup vocals and the third was the dancers’. As they passed the third one, the door was open so the girls took a peek. There were four male dancers and four female dancers. The girls introduced themselves and had a quick chat about what life on tour is like. One of the guys, who was getting his costume tailored in the corner so he wasn’t involved in the conversation, caught

issue 11 may 2010

Pear’s eye. There was something special about this guy and Pear wanted to know more. Veronica and Maven were eager to meet the singer so they headed over to the lounge where he was getting his makeup and hair done. For some reason, Pear was more interested in this mystery dancer then meeting her favourite singer. She told the girls she would meet them in the lounge. The girls thought she was crazy but were too distracted, by their desire to meet the singer, to further investigate. Pear continued to talk to one of the female dancers, but was secretly hoping that the only one she hadn’t met would come over and introduce himself. Moments later, her wish came true, This mystery man walked over to Pear with the most perfect smile, eyes, hair, body, skin, pretty much everything. No wonder he was dancing for one of the most famous artists in the world. “Hey! Sorry it took me forever to come over. We just got new costumes for this one set and they are all like Godzilla size.” Pear laughed and accepted his perfect, funny apology. “Well hi, I’m Pear.” “Hello. Nice to finally meet you. I’m Spins.” He shook her hand. “Spins?” “Yea, like…” He span around in a circle. “Spins.” Pear giggled. “That’s an interesting name.” “Well, it’s my Bboy name, not my real name. What’s your excuse?” Pear blushed at his adorableness. “Well, Pear is my real name, so no cool excuse for me. Umm... what’s a Bboy?” Spins laughed and thought to himself how cute she was. “You’ll see on stage.” The concert was about to begin and the girls took their seats. Veronica and Maven showed Pear all their autographs and said how much cuter the singer was in person. Pear was more interested in how cute this dancer was. The pyrotechnics exloded, the drums started to roll, and the girls jumped out of their seats. This was the beginning of a night to remember. To be continued…

“Inspirational” fair trade leader visits AUT by Sacha Molloy Releasing thousands of Nepalese women from the grip of poverty is the mission of an inspirational fair trade leader who visited AUT as part of Fair Trade Fortnight 2010. Meera Bhattarai, founder and executive director of the Nepalese Association for Craft Producers, has travelled around New Zealand for two weeks educating people about the impact of fair trade on the lives of women in Nepal. Bhattarai spoke of how out of the world’s 1.3 billion people who live in less than a dollar a day, 70 per cent are women. She says Nepalese women work many more hours than men and often lack a voice within the Meera Bhattarai shares a laugh with Sarah Hillary (left) and family. Diane McKinnon (centre) from the Himalayan Trust at AUT. “Women’s lives are very precarious and are are inhabited by evil spirits. limited within the four walls of the house.” It has also initiated a banking scheme which Fair trade is only a small component of the allows women to save their wages in secret, non-for profit organisation. preventing their husbands from frittering them Bhattarai says it is important to look beyond away on alcohol, gambling and smoking. wages and at the quality of women’s lives. The challenge for fair trade is how to ACP runs health education programmes which mainstream fair trade products in the context of counter traditional superstitions, such as the belief globalization and the free market economy, says that the first drops of milk from a woman’s breast

Bhattari. “We have to act globally and think locally.” Trade aid enthusiast Veronica Shale says the evening reminded her that there were many simple ways to give. “It’s at the tipping point of ‘hey this is actually cool’.” Student Taylor Gray says he now wants to get involved in the Trade Aid Trust at an education level. “It’s not about making people feel guilty, it’s about educating people.” Auckland Trade Aid Trust chair Raewyn Lucich says New Zealand has had an affinity with Nepal ever since Sir Edmund Hillary conquered Everest. The evening had a special significance for the AUT School of Languages and Social Sciences as it introduced a new major in International Studies this semester, the first of its kind in New Zealand. Applied Humanities dean Professor Nigel Hemmington says there are similarities between AUT and Trade Aid. “They are both about giving people the tools and means to better their lives.”

Gonorrhoea “superbug” no great danger for students

AUT gears up for world smokefree day

by Anna Loren

A recent statement from the World Health Organisation has raised fears about the emergence of a gonorrhoea ‘superbug’ – but a doctor from AUT’s Health, Counselling and Wellbeing says Auckland students have little cause for alarm. The WHO says in many parts of the world, gonorrhoea, a sexually transmitted bacterial infection, is developing resistance to the antibiotics commonly used to treat it. If this continues, it will only be a matter of time before certain strains of gonorrhoea become incurable, the statement warns. But AUT’s Dr David Hay says development of this resistance “is a slow process”. Ceftriaxone, an antibiotic currently used to treat gonorrhoea, is still effective in Auckland in 100 per cent of cases, he says. Ciproflaxacin, the other antibiotic used for this purpose, is effective in Auckland in 68 per cent of cases. “It takes years for those numbers to fall.” Dr Hay says gradual resistance to antibiotics is par for the course with bacterial infections. “There’s always a concern that over many years the particular organism that we’re treating is going to become resistant to the antibiotics that we use. New antibiotics are developed as time goes on – but it does become harder and harder to

find one that does the trick all of the time.” Dr Hay estimates the percentage of AUT students with gonorrhoea “would be low”. “We see more than two people with chlamydia [at Wellesley Health, Counselling and Wellbeing] most weeks, whereas with gonorrhoea we’ll see one new case every year or so,” he says. However, Dr Hay recommends that students have regular sexual health checkups – especially as many STIs, such as gonorrhoea, can often have no symptoms. And Dawn Connor, national communications co-ordinator for the New Zealand AIDS Foundation, says having gonorrhoea also increases the risk of contracting or transmitting HIV, as well as “increasing the amount of HIV in the body of a person living with the virus”. Connor stresses the importance of using condoms and lubricant “every time you have sex”. Gonorrhoea can lead to ectopic pregnancies and pelvic inflammatory disease in women, as well as infertility in both sexes. Symptoms can include discharge and difficulty urinating. The WHO estimates that worldwide, at least 340 million people aged from 15 to 49 contract curable STIs each year.

World Smokefree Day is coming up – and AUT wants to help you quit! On Tuesday, May 25, Health, Counselling and Wellbeing are teaming up with Action on Smoking and Health (ASH) to promote nonsmoking and lend support to those who want to go smoke-free, says Rebecca Williams, communications and marketing manager for AuSM. From 11am until 2pm, information and support material for staff and students thinking of quitting, as well as nicotine-replacement therapies such as nicotine patches and gum, will be available at the stand beside AuSM’s free feed on the North Shore campus. Also on site will be representatives from the Auckland Regional Public Health Service, Waitemata District Health Board and Harbour Health. Tiffany White, director of public relations for AUT, says the university is also considering the

implementation of an organisation-wide group that would focus on health issues, including smoking. “Obviously we have lots of independent promotions around health, but we’re looking at a more organised approach across the whole university.” However, that group would be “a fair way off”. AUT has “no intention” of enacting rules forbidding smoking on campus, such as those in place at the University of Auckland, White says. World Smokefree Day is celebrated on May 31. It is known internationally as ‘World No Tobacco Day’ and was created by the World Health Organisation in 1987. The theme for World Smokefree Day this year is ‘Me mutu – kia kaha’, or ‘Give quitting a go – you can do it!’ In New Zealand, approximately 4,700 people die each year from smoking.

Budding AUT cricketer begins preparation for Auckland Aces

AUT students dance their way to $1200

by Matiu Workman The cricket might have just ended in the Carribean, but the local domestic pre-season training has already started for one AUT student. Roneel Hira, 22, has been a part of the Auckland Aces cricket team since 2002, playing for both their one day and twenty20 sides. Hira, who has played for the New Zealand under-19 team, is one year away from a Bachelor of Social Sciences at AUT University. Hira says he is incredibly proud about his achievement, especially at such a young age. And of course, like most cricketers, Hira wants to play for New Zealand, “but for now I’m pretty happy developing in domestic cricket.” Those sentiments are echoed by former Black Cap batsman and Sky TV commentator Mark Richardson, who says the left arm spinner has always given a “damn good performance” every time he had

by Talia Blewit

seen Hira play. This was seen when Hira was the 12th highest wicket taker in last season’s HRV Twenty20 Cup, with only two spinners featuring in the top 15 – the other being New Zealand captain Daniel Vettori. Richardson believes Hira needs to base himself on current New Zealand spinner Nathan McCullum. “He probably has a similar style to him [Nathan McCullum] now. Not the best player in the team but surprises a few people with his ability. If he takes on Nathan’s example then he should do well,” Richardson said. Hira, who Richardson also labelled as a “pretty screwed on guy,” credits AUT’s environment for helping him make the transition from cricket to study. “I enjoy the atmosphere and the people”, he says. “It’s a pretty good way to spend the winter.”

Rockets blasting off SkyCity Metro for good

during class. Argentine Tango, contemporary and tap were among the forms of dance received with applause from family and friends who attended. Programme leader Lesley Ashley says the night managed to raise almost $1200 to help around 35 students heading to Dunedin from June 30 to July 3. The Tertiary Dance Festival last took place in 2005. Seven fellow dance institutions are Frozen until money was thrown their way, expected to participate this year. these lads danced to welcome the audience. “It’s an opportunity for students “Dancing with a difference” was the to take classes run by well-known motto for a night of performances New Zealand dance educators. put on by AUT Bachelor of Dance There will also be performances students. Held at North Shore and a chance for alumni and campus, travel funds were raised postgraduate students to run their for the Tertiary Dance Festival later own workshops,” says Ashley. this year. ‘Frozen’, busker-style performers The fundraising night showcased broke in to movement when change work from year one to three in was thrown their way, and raffling of the bachelor; varying between prizes were other innovative ways spontaneous and improvised acts, used to raise the kitty amount. to those that had been worked on

by Sarah Knowles

It seems the rockets on the southern facade of Auckland’s SkyCity Metro on Queen St have blasted off for the last time. Removal is part of the Auckland City Council’s revitalisation of Aotea Square which first started in 2008. The “vulgar” metal and glass sculptures were disliked by many creatives, including Auckland City urban designer Ludo CampbellReid. He has expressed his “utter delight” that the “tacky rocket catastrophe,” has been removed from SkyCity Metro, a cinema complex which borders Aotea Square. Auckland City Council spokesperson Melanya Burrows says construction of the square required the rockets to be removed while restoration work was being carried out on the Civic car park roof. General manager of SkyCity Metro Warren Berman says they are planning on renovating their own building. “We approached the council after deciding that the rockets did not need to be reinstated.” Berman had no comment on the fate of the much-loved “rocket lift”

inside the building, but indicated that plans were afoot for a major renovation. Campbell-Reid says the Aotea Square project will transform the culture of Auckland. “The square in the past was a product of poor planning. It was very internalised and inward looking,” he says. “The rockets contributed to a bad design relationship in the space. They did not make people want to come to the heart of the city.” Campbell-Reid says the council needs to create a space where people can “celebrate, commiserate, congregate and procreate”. People will be able to do this in front of a giant $1.6 million television screen, which is being installed in place of the rockets. The screen is specifically for the Rugby World Cup but CampbellReid sees it as Auckland’s version of Melbourne’s “Federation Square”, a place where the city’s residents can “come to converse, play and fall back in love with their city”. It is unclear where the rockets have gone, although Campbell-Reid hopes “they are firmly buried in the sordid history of Auckland planning”.

issue 11 may 2010

Disability Resource Service The Disability Resource Service offers information and a range of services for Deaf and disabled students. Students already registered with the Disability Resource Service who require supports for their exams must contact us as soon as exam dates are known. We require at least two weeks notice for each exam in order to guarantee the supports you require.

(09) 921 9999 extension 8262

North Shore:

(09) 921 9999 extension 7778

disability.office@aut.ac.nz www.aut.ac.nz/student_services/disability

Ex-AUT student plans march to save whales Winning Kiwis

by Linda Campbell In an attempt to stop the slaughter of whales an exAUT student has organised a march on Parliament. Using the social networking site Facebook, 21-year-old Todd Barker has created the Wellingtonbased march This Ends Now (TEN) for June 2. Barker, who is an avid surfer, left AUT partway through his Bachelor of Arts degree last year and moved to Tauranga, where he opened an online art supplies store. He says he thought of the march after hearing John Key’s plan to strengthen economic ties with the Japanese government. He fears this could lead to New Zealand dropping their anti-whaling stance to please Japan. “I want to stop whaling. Not slow it down or monitor it. Stop it for good and make it a distant memory,” Barker says. The keen conservationist stresses that although he is a member of Greenpeace this march is not about giving money; it is about getting involved and doing something to help. He is hoping for a high turnout with 147 followers on his Facebook page planning to attend the march. Greenpeace also contacted him to merge TEN with a march it was organising in June so attendance at the event should be high. “I was acting alone and now I guess you could call

it an activist group, but we still need more people,” he says. This is the first march Todd has organised. He admits he is “not much of a leader” but wants to get a group of passionate people together to help make a difference. The march coincides with the annual meeting of the International Whaling Commission (IWC) which will be held in Morocco from June 21-25. The draft proposed by the IWC would see the number of whales killed decrease over the next 10 years but hunting the endangered fin whale would not be outlawed. This has angered both Barker and New Zealand’s Minister of Foreign Affairs Murray McCully. McCully could not be reached for comment, but in an April statement he said our country’s stance on whaling will not change. “New Zealand is firmly committed to the elimination of whaling in the Southern Ocean and will test any proposal that comes forward against that objective,” he said. Commercial whaling was banned in 1982 but countries including Iceland, Japan and Norway still kill over 2000 whales per year hunting under exemptions.

Google: the easy way to diagnose by Eleanor Barker

The logic seems to follow that if you have an internet connection, you can diagnose yourself and others. Websites such as Answers. com allow everyday people to ask questions about health concerns, from rashes to thyroid problems and it’s causing Auckland doctors a headache. Auckland GP Rachael Pretorius says many people come into her surgery, convinced they know what is wrong with them. “Probably every day, it’s really annoying. Hypochondria is being spread by Google.com,” she says. Most commonly patients have decided that they have thyroid problems, which Dr Pretorius says

is rarely the correct diagnoses. “Patients will demand antibiotics, which we are reluctant to prescribe as there are wider implications for the community [when doctors diagnose antibiotics too freely].” Many people relate colloquially of their own personal experiences with this kind of hypochondria. “I decided I was suffering from an anxiety disorder, but really I’m just [not well adjusted] to [the stress of] everyday life,” said an AUT University student who was unwilling to be named. Website Ask the Bloggess responded to a question concerning a reader, thinking they were possibly suffering from

an anxiety disorder, with, “Katie, if you think you need drugs then you probably do.” Dr Pretorius says this kind of psychological “quick fix” approach is common, especially with those who feel that they are not coping well and want a diagnosis. “Depression is hard to diagnose, but we will usually refer those who think they are depressed to a psychologist.” The implications are not very serious, however, beyond the annoyance factor, says Dr Pretorius, adding doctors are usually “too sensible to be swayed by belligerent patients”. “Some people do leave angry,” she adds.

AUT hosts seminar on the dangers of reporting during war by Andrea Steward

A seminar that focuses on the safety of journalists reporting during times of war will be held today (May 24) at the conference centre on city campus. AUT and Red Cross have put together a panel of journalists, presenters and an ICRC legal expert that will debate war reporting and the safety of journalists. There will also be a screening of Balibo, a film about the deaths of

six Australian journalists who were killed in East Timor in 1975 during the Indonesian military’s terror campaign. TV3’s Mike McRoberts, TVNZ’s Cameron Bennett are among the panel, and Tony Maniaty, ABC journalist and consultant of the film Balibo, is a guest speaker. Balibo will screen at 4.30pm and the seminar will start at 7.15pm. This event is free to attend.

“wing it” in international race by Lydia Jarman

Kiwi winners of an auto-rickshaw race in India are making a documentary of their 300,600km experience. Jeremy Osborn, Fraser Ross and Logan Moody completed The Rickshaw Run – which began on March 24 – in seven and a half days, the fastest time in the history of the competition. Seventy-one teams started in Cochin, in Southern India’s West Coast, and had to map their own route through to Gangtok, 400,000km away in the East of India near the Nepalese border. Teams drove auto-rickshaws, traditionally three-wheeled carts with a small engine that reaches a maximum speed of 55km an hour. Ross, a 29-year-old assistant director, says that despite getting hit by a truck on their first night, he thinks luck won them the race. “We only broke down once and we drove through the night which was really dangerous. But we were definitely really lucky”, he says. Twenty-six-year-old Osborn, a camera operator, says their team (called TukTuk BOOM!) didn’t do any preparation or training before leaving New Zealand in March. “We sort of winged it. We tried to stick to the roads, but they are insane over there”, Osborn says. Osborn and Ross hope to have the documentary completed in a few months. The competition is run by The Adventurists, who organise races around the world and fundraise for charities. All teams have to raise at least $1000, which is donated to foundations supporting projects like disaster relief and clean water supplies. Osborn, Ross and Moody are thinking of doing a similar race called the Mototaxi, also run by The Adventurists, where teams race through South America driving motorbikes with couches attached to the back.

CoLab to shed light on the power of 3D AUT’s CoLab has teamed up with Film Auckland for their second envisage programme of the year, focusing on 3D technology. The event will be held this Thursday from 6-8pm in the conference centre on AUT’s city campus. Three industry professionals will speak about the developments and opportunities in 3D technology; Tim Coddington, Peter Freer and Ronel Schodt. Coddington is a founding board member of Film Auckland and worked on Yogi Bear, which was filmed in 3D in Auckland early this year.

Freer is the art director at Sidhe, New Zealand’s largest game production company. He is responsible for the visual quality of Sidhe’s games. Schodt is one of New Zealand’s leading hologram specialists and the co-founder of 3DLive. She produced J Williams’ 3D music video and is in post-production of the first 3D short film, TV4. Tickets are $5 for students. If you would like to attend, email dawn.hutchesson@aut.ac.nz by Wednesday (May 26).

issue 11 may 2010

Team Roger vs Team Rafa

by Scott Moyes

As an avid sports fan, living in New Zealand

can be a right pain in the arse. Whoever thought of claiming these islands as their own should take back their muskets and settle for the land of ‘sports coverage at acceptable times of the day’. Special as I feel to see the sun rise before anyone else in the world, try waking before the postie to get a glimpse of the World Cup T20 tournament. Influential tournaments such as the English Premier League run uninterrupted and un-censored through the wee hours of the morning like x-rated films. Should I have the endurance to watch them live, I might resemble something of a zombie come Monday morning lectures. Praise the beauty of MySky all you like; sport just isn’t the same when it’s not live. It’s like eating steak with no fat on it. The French Open, or Roland Garros in fancy terms, is one of the few tournaments I’ll endure a sports hangover for. It’s about the only time during the year I can give mum a legitimate reason for being tired and lazy. Roland Garros is the only Grand Slam tennis tournament to be played on clay, resulting in a slower, more precise tennis match. Champions in the past are generally those who do not belt the ball into another dimension, but have endurance and a tidy array of shots. This is why players such as Rafael Nadal and Justine Henin have had enormous success in recent years and big hitting Americans such as Andy Roddick and Serena Williams tend to struggle. As is the case with men’s professional tennis of the past five years, Roland Garros is about two men alone; Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal. I could hype up the chances of the steadily improving Andy Murray, just as I could hype up Telecom’s XT network. In tennis, you are either Team Roger or Team Rafa (excuse the Twilight reference). There’s no middle ground, unless you’re one of those outdated Australian Lleyton Hewitt fanatics. “Come on,” he screams to his wife on court. “Come on!” What can I say? He mustn’t get much at home. Choosing between Team Roger and Team Rafa is perhaps the most difficult and daunting decision you will make in your life. Among other implications, you must comprehend looks, ability and the chance they will declare their love for you by sucking your blood. I’m loud and proud Team Roger. If I could meet any sporting personality in the world, it would be Roger Federer. Much like your Team Edward, Roger is the pasty, lanky, mysterious type. He’s not afraid to show some emotion and

definitely sparkles with the racquet in hand. In fact, such is the calibre of his game, he appears apologetic in victory. When he raises his racquet to the crowd, it’s almost as if to say “sorry I won again, I can’t help it”. Last year he finally claimed the Roland Garros title, after being beaten in the final the three previous years. Of his other achievements, I could run off statistics such as 16 Grand Slam titles (the best in history), 22 finals and the longest occupation of the No.1 world ranking (237 consecutive weeks). In reality, I would only be touching the tip of the iceberg. In my mind, he is the greatest to have ever played the game. He is the only player I know to have mastered the ‘between the legs’ shot (YouTube it). Words cannot describe his precise shot play and sportsmanship and I think the reason I make the extra effort to watch this tournament is to see the master in action. Or you could opt for Team Rafa. Similar to your Team Jacob, Rafael is the bronzed, muscled, superhuman. To your advantage, the only time he turns into a werewolf is when you hear him grunting on KIA advertisements. But honestly, Anna Kournikova is the only real beast to have played the game. Prior to Federer’s 2009 Roland Garros triumph, Nadal claimed the title the four previous years. One thing is certain with this guy; he’ll give it everything on court. His style of play is more aggressive and physical, which has had negative impacts on his wobbly old knees. When he’s on his game however, you would have a fair case to claim he is even better than Federer. Of the six grand slam titles he has won, five of the finals have been against Federer; not many players on the circuit can boast a winning record against Roger. He is the undisputed king of clay, and heads into the Paris tournament as the warm favourite. However, much more important than the individual feats of both men, is the intense rivalry they share. Not since Dancing with the Stars have we seen such a passionate duo battling it out so regularly. Their 2008 Wimbledon final is one of the best sporting spectacles you will ever see, culminating in an epic five hour, five set battle for supremacy. You may be Team Roger, or Team Rafa, or perhaps Team F**k Off Twilight (excuse my French). Either way you should have a go at trying to follow a tennis ball being exchanged on the terracotta clay courts in Paris and appreciate that you are watching sporting royalty. And although Tiger has questioned the title of sporting royalty, rest assured, these guys are playing with balls, not birdies.

Prez sez Greetings my fellow AUT Titans!

Another week down and only a few left to go. Do not fear my fellow students; the last stretch to the finish line is now within reach. Keep going, keep striving and keep pushing on! I write this blurb while I am on the plane travelling down to Wellington. I am heading down to parliament to sit in on the oral submissions that will be presented to the Education and Science Select Committee...the committee that makes the big decision for the Voluntary Student Membership (VSM) Bill. The opportunity to appear before the committee and orally present allows many of us that are in opposition to the Bill to further voice and elaborate on how this affects our student voice and student services. AuSM will be giving their oral presentation in the next coming weeks and I will update you all on how it goes for us. For now though, I urge you to make sure you continue to use us as we are here solely for YOU! AuSM has been a very busy bee working extremely hard in every area to try and bring the best service that we possibly can for you all. Activities and events ranging from the free movie screening we had last week at SKYCITY cinemas, to the continuous free feeds and their ever-changing and improved menus, all the way to the busy clubs that are meeting and engaging with each other. As your student association we want you to feel like AuSM is an integral part of your time here at AUT, and the only way to know how we’re doing is through feedback. We need to hear what it is that you like, don’t like, love or hate. Feedback, whether it is good or bad, is always helpful for us. Remember we can only improve for you if you guide us with what it is that you need during your time here at AUT! So watch out for the different surveys that are on our website www.ausm.org.nz or on our ever-growing Facebook page! As many of you use virtual social websites to communicate we have followed suit and have had great success in disseminating information out to you all. Not forgetting the great giveaways, prizes and competitions we have where everybody is always a winner. Lastly, I would like to remind you of the advocacy services AuSM offers freely for all students here at AUT. Exam time can be a real stressful time for many of us, with the pressures of personal life, work life and uni life all becoming increasingly hectic. Sometimes the decisions we make are not the best and are usually a result of poor judgement due to these pressures. I can sympathise with you, as a student I know how heavy the load can become. But aren’t you glad that you’re not alone? AuSM is always here to support you through the (sometimes) confusing systems the university has. We provide advice, support and representation to those who feel they have not been fairly treated by the university. We also provide free legal advice on issues that are not uni related. Yes, that’s right! We can help with anything; tenancy agreements, contracts or legal issues that our students might have. You can always trust AuSM to be there for you! Remember these services are free and are there for you to use. I wish you all another fantastic week ahead; I look forward to seeing you all here next week – same time, same place. Go well with your studies and do not forget that my office is always open for you to come and visit, chat and a place to vent and get away from the troubles of uni life. I am here to represent you, do what’s best for the student body and uphold your interests in all that I do. I assure you I am doing my utmost best! Ia Manuia Your fellow president singing off for this week

Veronica Ng Lam AuSM President

Get to know your exec

Hey peeps and welcome to week 11!

There has been so much busy and exciting stuff happening around that I forgot to breathe and realise that the finish line is just around the corner! Woohoo! Just quietly, I’ve been checking out the AuSM ski lodge reservations on the website and I’ve heard it’s as low as $6.50 per head if you fill out the room. As I’m typing this my toes are covered in construction site safety socks and a John Deere hoodie (with string pulled). That’s a bargain! I’m not the first to say it, but I think colder temperatures have struck and it’s time to dig out last year’s warm clothing to protect yourself from Jack Frost in the morning. Winter is definitely on its way. On May 19 I attended the AuSM exe meeting. We have all been elected in one way or another to be on the student council, which is designed to handle as many needs and matters that concerns the student body (either individually, in a group or as a whole) in the best possible way. It’s a tradition we have been doing since 1960. And from the latest meeting on May 19th we are receiving communication that we are doing a good job because more people are discovering AUSM and interacting with us. You are automatically a member of AuSM when you enrol as a part of your fee structure. Through us, you are taken care of and if you think your needs are not being met please come see us. One of the recent events I attend with you was the free movie screening of The Losers at SKYCITY cinemas. AUT students were given the opportunity to see this movie a week before it was released. We received free popcorn, coke and some Whittaker’s dark chocolate. It was so great to sit back in a comfy chair and have a giggle with friends before the movie began. It was an excellent way to relax after working out your brain with textbooks, poor lighting and uncomfortable chairs. I am attending AUSM free feeds handing out food (and my ketchup squirting skills are getting better, so your clothes are safer than before) and constantly introducing myself to people, welcoming them on campus and directing them to AuSM. For the rest of the 26,000 students I don’t speak to at free feeds, you can visit our AuSM website, read debate or pop into our exec office in WC202. Ciao!

Malcolm Turner

Applied Humanities Representative

issue 11 may 2010

should aut become smoke-free?

We’ve all been brought up

with the facts about smoking. Smoking is responsible for one in four of all cancer deaths in New Zealand. Smoking gives you tar in your lungs, fatty deposits in your arteries and makes your teeth, skin and nails yellow. Smoking kills around 4700 New Zealanders every year. Everyone knows it’s bad for you and as a nonsmoker myself, I’m not going to convince you otherwise. However, in New Zealand, a person legally has the right to light up a cigarette. Why should a university – a place where students go to exercise their freedom – restrict students even more? In 2004, all indoor public workplaces, restaurants and bars became smoke free. Smokers kicked up a fuss because they were being sent out in the cold to light up, but after a few months of grumblings, it felt like the norm. It was fair enough too, imagine going to a restaurant nowadays and sitting inside next to a chain smoker while you’re trying to savour your steak? It’s not appetising. New Zealand also has outdoor smokefree laws (all school grounds, most hospitals and some stadiums) but again, these are completely justifiable. You wouldn’t want young children or sick people constantly inhaling second hand smoke. However, the University of Auckland implemented a smoke-free campus this year, which meant all staff and students would have to leave the premises if they wanted to light up. Smokers were forced out on Symonds St like trash, and while all the non-smokers may applaud this decision, it may have a more negative impact on you. If you walk down Symonds St in the city, you will see a long line of smokers sitting on the campus outskirts, frantically puffing away, while thousands of people walk past. Everyone was so worried about second hand smoke inside campus, yet in a concentrated area like the sidewalk, smokers can blow smoke in the face of thousands of students, staff and the general public. It’s not a good look and it’s not doing anything for the second hand smoke statistics we have in New Zealand. The same situation would happen if AUT was to implement a similar ban; we wouldn’t be getting rid of the problem – we’d be shifting it to another area. It’s also hard to define AUT’s city campus. The North Shore and Manukau have a set block of land that all the buildings are on, but the city campus is sprawled out over a few streets in the city. Can you really put a smoke-free ban outside the WT tower, when people who aren’t students walk past there every day? The simple answer is you can’t. More than 99 per cent of AUT student’s are over 18 and can legally buy cigarettes if they please. Having a rule that says you can’t smoke on campus is reminiscent of the high school law and didn’t we come to university to grow up, not to be treated like children? The solution is not to make AUT smoke-free but to designate smoke-free areas and to properly enforce it. The area above the crèche is supposed to be already smoke-free but AUT doesn’t seem to be enforcing it very strictly, which is disgusting, seeing as small children are directly below. Everyone harps on about being smoke-free because it will improve our image, but they never stop to think about where the smokers will go? You think they’ll give up because they can’t smoke outside their lecture or in the quad? No, they’ll go somewhere else. It’s not just AUT either. The Auckland Regional Health Service wants to make big public areas like beaches to be smoke-free. In a country as coastal as New Zealand, that’s a decent portion of our country. Even that ridiculous plan has been quashed by PM John Key, who called it extreme and said he didn’t want New Zealand to become a country that told people how to run every aspect of their lives. At the end of the day it comes down to choice. Smokers have the right to light up if they want, and the solution to a cleaner university is not to ban them entirely, but to work on a less extreme policy.

The

leading

cause

environmental death in New Zealand is second hand smoke. More than 350 people die in our country each year because of the decisions of others. We have already made smoking illegal indoors. It is already illegal in some public parks and outdoor areas. It is illegal to smoke across the road at the University of Auckland. AUT is the “University for the Changing World”; I think it’s about time we made a change where it counts. The University of Auckland amended its smoke-free policy six months ago, and it replaces the policy that was set in 2004 (when smoking was banned indoors). We still have that outdated policy, which states that faculty, students and visitors can smoke whenever they want as long as it’s outside. Is it just me that finds it ridiculous that someone can blow poison into the air in one of the most populous areas of Auckland? I understand that since the proliferation of smoking during the 50s, 60s and 70s; it became a way of life for those people and the following generations. Despite this, it’s 2010. We’re a pretty smart bunch. Why are we still allowing 350 people a year to die needlessly? It should be banned everywhere outside of homes – but even then smokers’ kids are in the line of fire. It will always be the prerogative of the smoker to smoke, which is fine by me. If someone can’t quit or doesn’t want to then we can’t make them criminals – but they don’t have the right to kill the rest of us. I don’t think AUT is far off banning it outdoors to be honest. It would be an archaic institution not to, and the entire AUT brand is built primarily on NOT being archaic. I don’t think that’s the issue – the issue is enforcing it and actually punishing people for breaking rules. Essentially, with an amendment to the smoke-free clause, smoking in a smoke-free area becomes illegal. The onus is then on the institution to enforce some sort of punishment or deterrent. Across the road it’s a letter, advising that person not to smoke again. At the most extreme, you may receive a personal verbal warning, reinforcing the illegality. How bullshit is that? If I was a smoker I definitely wouldn’t be shaking in my boots. A letter? There needs to be something more concrete than that, surely. While the police aren’t really an option (just because there are not enough of them to do the jobs they already have to do) the university should be able to ban the person from the premises (after a couple of warnings) for a set period of time. This would become a logistical nightmare if the culprit was a staff member or student, but you’d need to do something. We’ve already got some outdoor smoke-free areas at AUT, but this doesn’t seem to be much of a deterrent. You may know that the benches by the quad that run parallel to Wellesley St are smoke-free areas because they’re above a crèche. People still smoke there which I find disgusting. It’s one thing to blow smoke in the face of a fellow adult, but a kid? And that’s what I mean by the importance of enforcing the law. It worries me that we already struggle to stop people smoking in a small area – what would we do if the whole of all three campuses were added to that list? The US has an equivalent to our ‘Smoke-free NZ’ called ‘No-Smoke’. They have a list of colleges and universities who have gone smoke-free, and they honour those universities while strongly emphasising that those not on the list to change their laws. There are, so far, 394 universities and colleges on that list. In New Zealand we only have eight universities, and only one has done the deed. It’s a hard argument to say that people should able to smoke in the faces of our university students, and it’s easy to imagine what the university population would say if the question was put to them. We don’t want smoking at our university, and we shouldn’t have to put up with it.

o Spot a healthier takeaway option t w o H at 100 paces by Alicia Crocket

t never ceases to fascinate me how fast food places market their healthier choices. I’m a cynic at heart so I never believe what they’re telling me until I see the proof in front of me! In saying that, I also believe that you can find healthier choices in most places. The trick is to knowing how to spot them. So today I’m sharing with you the four golden rules for choosing healthier choices at fast food places. Golden rule # 1: Minimise the amount of fried ingredients There are several ways you can do this: • Order just a burger rather than a combo (depending on how hungry you are this might be enough). • Go somewhere that sells straight edge chunky chips (French fries and crinkle cut chips suck up more fat when they’re deep fried compared to chunkier straight cut chips). • Burgers and kebabs are a better option than battered fish and chips – there will be less fat in the burger and kebab Golden rule No. 2: Watch out for those hidden extras Often it’s the things you add that can have a HUGE impact on how healthy a product is. For example, a cheese crust pizza adds an extra 250kJ and 3.5g fat PER SLICE compared to a thin and crispy base. So four pieces of cheese crust pizza rather than a thin crust, means running for 30 minutes to stop that crust going straight to your butt. I’d rather have a thin base myself! Adding sauces can also decrease the healthiness of food. For every tablespoon of full fat dressing you add that’s another 15 minutes running. Likewise, if you get an extra cheese you’re eating more than a teaspoon of fat and adding another 10 minutes running.

Golden rule No. 3: Never upsize Never agree to supersizing your meal unless you want to get supersized yourself. What do you get for your 50c? Some soggy fries and liquid sugar? Upsizing from a medium to a large meal gives you four extra teaspoons of sugar (would you even add that to one coffee?) and means another 20 minutes of running to burn off the extra energy! Good value for 50c, huh? Golden rule No. 4: Always read the small print Marketers love to manipulate you into thinking their product is fantastic when in reality it’s not. I’m sure you’ve all come across this before on infomercials and it’s exactly the same with food! Take Subway for example. Sure, they have some great healthier options, plenty of vegetables, wholemeal bread available, but there is a MASSIVE range between the different types of subs and the nutritional info they provide DOESN’T include dressing or cheese. Likewise, the 6g fat or less subs don’t include dressings or cheese and some of the 12-inch subs (without cheese or dressings remember) are like eating two Big Macs and equals ½ the food you should be eating in a day! Subway can be a healthier option, but be a bit savvy and don’t presume everything is healthier. Look online for the nutritional info, read the small print and know exactly what you’re ordering and eating. There will be healthier choices available, but remember they might not be the ones that are advertised! So for me, when I can, I opt for takeaway options with plenty of vegetables and ones that aren’t deep fried – my favourite is a kebab or a thin crust pizza! So next time you’re grabbing a quick bite think carefully about what you order and save yourself some time at the gym!

Kiwi Red Curry

Note: This dish is also nice with chicken. Brown the chicken with the onions and spices before adding other ingredients

Serves 6 - 8. Dairy free, Gluten free Cost: $1.46 per serve, $1.99 with rice

This recipe was served as a Thai red curry at the hostel I lived in when I was in first year. We decided it wasn’t particularly Thai so renamed it Kiwi red curry. It’s simple, quick and tasty and you can make use of loads of seasonal vegetables. At the moment we’re on the last of the pumpkins but the broccoli, brussel sprouts and cauliflower are in full swing. Carrots are easily available, as are swedes and turnips. Feel free to add whichever seasonal vegetables you can get cheaply to this dish and as always, add chilli to suit your palate. INGREDIENTS

1 tablespoon oil 1 medium onion, chopped ½ teaspoon minced chilli 2 teaspoons OR 2 cloves garlic 1 teaspoon fresh ginger, grated 1 heaped teaspoon EACH of cumin, turmeric and coriander 2- 3 medium potatoes 2 cups of chopped vegetables (carrots, peas, pumpkin, swede, broccoli, beans, cauliflower) 2 cans of kidney beans (I prefer the smaller ones rather than the large ones) 1 x 400g can crushed tomatoes 1 tablespoon lemon juice 1 tablespoon brown sugar 1 x 400ml can coconut cream or milk 1 teaspoon vegetarian stock powder issue 11 may 2010

INstructions

1. 2. 3.

Chop vegetables Drain and rinse kidney beans

Sauté onion, chilli, garlic and ginger until onion is starting to soften

4. 5.

Add spices and cook for about a minute.

6. 7.

Add more water if necessary.

Add remaining ingredients and simmer for about 20 minutes or until the vegetables are cooked. Serve on rice, bread or by itself

Backstage pass: A glimpse into life as a roadie

by Georgina O’Connor

Big Tone has been a roadie in the New Zealand music industry for 16 years now, working as a backline manager, stage manager and production assistant. He has worked on shows both small and large, ranging from a showcase of 200 people to an international production of up to 60,000 people. Big Tone has an impressive collection of AAA passes, including Big Day Out, The Rolling Stones, AC/DC, Black Eyed Peas and Pearl Jam (just to name a few). As we’re nearing the end of New Zealand Music Month, I decided to catch up with Big Tone for a chat about what happens on the other side of the barriers.

What does your job involve? Pre-production and production of live shows. Also, managing backline too. What is backline? Musical instruments – drums, keyboards, amps etc. What’s the most memorable show you have ever worked on? Production managing Wilco’s Auckland and Wellington shows. What’s the biggest production you’ve ever worked on? The Big Day Out. I do backline sourcing for all the acts and stage manage the green and essential stages. How long have you been working on Big Day Outs? 13 years now. How did you get into the music industry? Through a friend of a friend. They don’t advertise for these jobs publicly. It was a matter of being in the right place at the right time. How did you get to where you are now? I started off loading trucks – up to 90 tonnes a day. I loaded trucks for a couple of years before moving into [sound]. After three or four years of working in sound, I spent a couple of years in lighting. After that, I was asked to move onto the stage. I’ve been stage managing for eight or so years now. Doing all the previous experience has helped me to understand the ins and outs of the stage. What do you find most rewarding about your job? The team work involved. I enjoy seeing the people who’ve paid money having a good time and being safe. Not having to stand in the crowd is also a bonus. What do you find most challenging about your job? Making sure everything runs well, starts on time and finishes on time. Do you do a lot of travelling? Yes – to just about every fucking town in the country that’s got a town hall or a room big enough to fit a few people. What’s your advice for people wanting to get into the industry? Whilst tertiary level qualifications may help, it’s often the person who starts from the ground level and works their way through the different practical parts of event management who will make a better career out

of it. It is more of a common sense nature than working off a blue print. What do you find the most annoying about your job? Having to deal with idiots that don’t know what they are doing. What’s been your career highlight? Assistant production manager to AC/DC. Do you get sick of people asking you for free tickets? All the time. What’s an average day of being a roadie like? The average day is 18 hours long, [starting] at 7.30am. Straight off to the venue. Wait for first trucks to arrive at 8.00am. Lighting usually goes in first, followed by sound. Two and a half hours later it’s stage and backline. Another two and a half hours after that is first sound check at around 4pm. Then we set up the support act – line check them, which is usually just before doors. At 6.30pm till 7.00pm the doors open. Show starts at 8.00pm generally with the first support act and goes until 8.30pm. [There’s a] 30 minute changeover to main act. They play for one and a half to two hours, including encore. Then we do everything in reverse order. Take out stage and backline, lighting and P.A. trucks get loaded. By that stage it’s usually about 2.00am. Then it’s time to go to the workshop and unload the gear. Then home to bed. If it’s a multi-show tour we’re up at 6am the next day to catch a flight and do it all again. What’s your favourite New Zealand band? Supergroove. What’s your favourite super groove song? Don’t look down. Do you have any funny tour stories? What goes on tour stays on tour. I have been lucky enough to experience the roadie life with Big Tone on a few of their Raggamuffin and Homegrown shows. I’ve found that even though the days are long and strenuous, with stress levels high, the roadies are all one big whanau and the jokes keep flowing until the end. On behalf of the fans, thanks to all the humble roadies who make the shows spectacular, safe and a great experience for us gig junkies. From the security men in black to the catering ladies, we salute you!

New Zealand Music Mysteries – where are they now? by Melissa Low For 10 years, we’ve been celebrating New Zealand music every May. It comes, we wear the shirts and we feel good that by knowing its New Zealand Music Month, we’re being supportive. Then it’s June and we move on. With that, so does our attention to Kiwi bands. Ever wondered what happened to some of those home grown bands or musicians we used to hear on the radio? I give you a list of bands that were hitting the New Zealand top 40 charts, but now seem missing from the art. Blindspott

Last big hit: Drown in 2006 (peaked 4th on charts) After years of fallouts over their 10 years together, Blindspott officially called it quits in 2007, saying they wanted to focus on their solo projects. Then said they were reuniting for Homegrown 09. Now this month, they’ve announced they’re going to write more material again. Some people just don’t quit; and maybe, it’s not a bad thing.

48 May

Last big hit: Big Shock in 2006 (peaked 14th on the charts) They made their first appearance on the charts with Leather and Tattoos in 2005, a song which may have been about his future love for a cast member on Outrageous Fortune. Then in 2006, they cleaned themselves up and released their sophomore album, Streetlights and Shadows, with Warner Music NZ. Bigger record label means bigger success? Well not necessarily. They broke up without a word goodbye in 2008.

Goodnight Nurse

Last big hit: The Night in 2008 (peaked 24th on the charts) They were a consistent band for most of the mid 2000s, every year having a hit appearing on the top 40, making the preteens fall in love with them over and over again. Then in 2007, they lost their bassist, became a four-piece, and then released their sophomore album, Keep Me on Your Side Tonight. On their MySpace this February, they said after nine years they were taking a “well deserved break”. Who knows for sure if they’d be back, but you’ll still see drummer Jaden with Like You Crazy, guitarist Sam with Kids of 88, and bassist Rowan with Jury and The Saints.

Evermore

Last big hit: Hey Boys and Girls (Truth of the World pt. 2) in 2009 (peaked 5th on charts) The Hume brothers are the best things to come out of Feilding since… well what else comes out of Feilding? Evermore first stole our hearts with their song It’s Too Late released back in 2004. Since then, they’ve changed their image (now one brother is blonde, and another looks like a creepy Ron Burgundy), and have moved themselves to Melbourne. They’ve grown to be good buds with pop music’s Pink, becoming her supporting act for her Australian tour last year, and now her current European tour. You’ll find their greatest hits album in stores too.

Brooke Fraser

Last big hit: Shadowfeet in 2007 (peaked 13th on charts) Wellington’s songstress has been the sweetheart of NZ music since she released her debut album What to do with Daylight at the age of 20. Now 26, she’s a married woman (becoming Brooke Ligertwood), writing for Christian worship band Hillsong, and living in both Australia and Los Angeles as she tries to break into the American market. She’s said to be releasing her next album sometime this year.

Tiki Taane

Last big hit: You’re Always on My Mind in 2008 (peaked 1st on charts) Yes, for most of 2008, Tiki Tanne was on our minds, breaking records by setting up camp at NZ’s number one spot for 19 consecutive weeks (and 55 weeks in total). Well until a drum playing gorilla from a certain chocolate company took the spot from him. Since then, he’s been hiding away, mainly in Australia trying to break into their charts. But alas, we are still reminded that we’re on his mind too, for as long as cute BNZ piggies fly jet planes.

Elemeno P

Last big hit: Baby Come On in 2007 (peaked 13th on charts) We loved them for their catchy tongue-twisting name, and reminding us about Verona, making Urban Getaways, and that at 11:57, “we’re running out of time”. Last hit had their song Baby Come On making happy Telecom co-workers dancing up and down their office with their video cell phones (blissfully unaware of the XT network). As great a feelgood-song it was, the next few songs of Elemeno P’s third album didn’t follow suit. They’re still around, with one less guitarist, writing music for their next album...still.

Steriogram

Last big hit: Walkie Talkie Man in 2004 (peaked 14th on charts) Other than Walkie Talkie Man (which everyone attempts to know the words to, but fails to sing right), no one else could probably name another Steriogram hit. But they are still around. They’ve announced the title for their third album (Taping the Radio), and released a new single called Ready For Action. But to be honest, they’ll probably stay known as “Steriogram, the band that plays Walkie Talkie Man”.

issue 11 may 2010

For a lot of students in New Zealand, they will celebrate their 21st birthdays while they are at university. The way which they celebrate will differ, from the low-key to the extravagant, but the theme remains the same – a celebration of your life on earth. But has its symbolic significance been lost in favour of booze and bling? Samantha McQueen looks at New Zealand’s 21st culture. It plays out like something in Hollywood. High end bars covered from floor to ceiling in sheets of twinkling fairy lights, intertwined with heliumfilled balloons and flickering candles. Projectors are set up dedicated to memories gone by; first smiles, steps, holidays and heartache. Ladies are dressed in hip-hugging dresses, with lashings of mascara and bronzer, while men uncomfortably hover in the corner cradling icy beers. There is free food, booze, music and a chance to mingle with a lifetime of friends. It costs thousands but no one cares. It is the biggest night of their lives; their 21st birthday. Twenty-one is known as the coming-of-age birthday in many countries around the world. In America, 21 means you can legally drink, go clubbing or have a wild night in Vegas. There is no legal significance to turning 21 in New Zealand. People can drive at 15, have sex at 16, drink, smoke and vote at 18 and end one’s teenage years by gambling at 20. The only legal victory 21-year-old New Zealanders face is cheaper car insurance. However, most of New Zealand’s young adults still see 21 as the final leap into adulthood. But has the meaning of responsibility and independence been replaced with a desire to host a blow-out party to say goodbye to forgotten youth? Aucklander and ex-AUT student Will Seal seems to think so. The university student celebrated his 21st last September with a party that reached $15,000 in expenses. Everything down to the last cocktail was planned. Seal has been brought up with the idea that 21st parties were a New Zealand custom and began planning his 21st before he had blown the candles off his 20th birthday cake. “I always thought you had to have a huge party for your 21st. While it doesn’t legally designate anything in New Zealand...it’s really your age of signifying your adulthood. You’re no longer a teenager,” says Seal. He had high standards to exceed. His 18th was celebrated by hiring out a bar in Ponsonby, and he partied in a hotel room with friends on his 19th. His 20th was relatively low-key by comparison; drinks at home before catching limos to a dance party. “I really enjoy my birthday. I like celebrating my birthday. I don’t understand people who are like ‘I hate my birthday’. I fucking love it.” Seal started scouting venues four months before the event, looking at The Northern Club and Hotel De Brett before securing a spot at vodka company 42 Below’s bar Nineteen42, after a chance encounter with the brand manager. This was lucky, according to Seal, because the bar is not open to the public and the only way in is if you know someone that works for the company. The venue cost $2000 to hire out, which included bar staff and bouncers, but this was only the beginning of Seal’s spending. A case of champagne was ordered for the celebrations, which set him, or more accurately his father – a director at Walker Wayland – back $1000. The bar tab reached $4500, which was $2000 more than originally budgeted. However, Seal guessed his father would have a few drinks and get generous, which he did, much to the delight of the 200 guests. They also got to enjoy canapés and nibbles in what was the biggest expense of the night, costing $7500. The room was reminiscent of a casino meets fairytale wonderland,

with sheets of fairy lights surrounding a roulette table Seal had hired. He looked the part of the high-roller host, decked out in a three-piece black suit from Frank Casey. Two photographers played paparazzi for the night, snapping shots of the guests in action. While the cost equates to the price of a small wedding, Seal says he was encouraged by his father to make the most of it. “He said, ‘this is probably the last big amount of money you are going to get from me ever’, so I’m pretty sure his words were ‘go nuts’.” But surely in times of economic crisis 21sts have become less important? Pakuranga Country Club bar manager Jo Beals says she has seen a decrease in the number of bookings from previous years because of the economic climate. More people are having parties at home and she has seen a huge increase in 22nd or 23rd birthdays because people did not have the money when they turned 21. Despite this bleak outlook, there is still a 21st on at the club at least every second weekend and people are still booking at least six months in advance. “The ones that are doing [21st parties] are putting the money in,” Beals says. It doesn’t take long for costs to add up. To hire the small function room at the club costs $375, plus $67.50 for a licence that allows all non-members in and $140 for compulsory security. There is also a $500 deposit, meaning $1000 is spent before anything else is organised. In addition to this, most people are still putting on bar tabs, which average between $1000 and $2000. She has seen cases of tabs reaching up to $5000. It depends on who’s paying, Beals says, and she has seen an increasing number of people fronting up the money for their own 21st this year. “It’s very mixed. You can generally tell who’s paying for it with the bar tabs,” she jokes. People are also cutting costs when it comes to music, with people choosing iPods and speakers over DJs and bands. A lot of venues have minimum spends which you have to hit before the end of the night. This can range from a few hundred dollars, if you only section out a small portion of a bar, to several thousand for exclusive use of a place. Popular 21st venue Honey has a $1500 minimum spend, while Cassette 9 has a $2000 minimum spend if you want the bar all to yourself. People are cost-cutting where they can but it seems they all want it to be a night to remember. Seal says even if he hadn’t been given money from his father he would have gone as big as he could. “I see no problem whatsoever in anyone having a small 21st. You just do whatever is in your means,” he says. However he believes people should embrace the tradition of a 21st instead of refusing to celebrate at all. “I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to have a big party for your 21st. It’s celebrating you. I like me, I want to have a party for me. If nobody else came I’d just get drunk by myself. It’d be great.” Not all share Seal’s views.

Photo source: http://mattwisdom.files.wordpress.com

Trish Drummond turned 21 five months after moving to Auckland from Kerikeri. She did not know many people and so chose not to have a 21st. She comes from a split family and she did not want awkwardness and tension just for a party. “I would rather save something like that for my wedding day,” Drummond says. She doesn’t regret her decision to forgo the big party in favour of dinner with some family and flatmates. “I’ve gone to so many [21sts] it’s got to a point where it’s all the same.” The same maybe, but she has definitely noticed a difference in the way Aucklanders and people back home celebrate their entry into maturity. “Down here you dress up like you’re going to town. Up north they’d be totally happy to get a couple of kegs and have people rock up in their jandals and boardies for a barbecue. “In Auckland it’s so busy and their upbringing [generally] reflects a lot of their 21st,” says Drummond, who attended a joint 21st last year at a cruising club. The girls – twins – had gotten spray tans, hair-ups and bought $400 dresses for the occasion. “It’s like a wedding, it’s extreme.” Despite the non-significance a 21st has in New Zealand, it seems it has been already embedded in tradition; the same way people wear white wedding dresses even if they are not “pure”, as Drummond puts it. This tradition seems to be dying out in smaller towns, but she doubts it will be replaced by 18ths. “Eighteen’s a big deal but not everyone’s 18 when you’re 18 so you can’t celebrate with them. When you’re 21 almost everyone you know is 21.” Are 21st traditions being pushed by parents? Born in Hawaii, Tenani French should have been excited about the idea of having a 21st last year, as the age means he can finally drink in his home country, but the 21-year-old student initially refused to celebrate. “I didn’t really want to have one. I didn’t see the point in it,” says French, who caved after pressure from his mother. Preparations were last minute. French did not spend months looking for the perfect venue. In fact, his venue – Vanilla bar – was only secured just over a month out from the date. Everything out was picked out in the last week. In spite of this, French estimates he spent around $4000 for the night, including a $2500 subsidised bar, taxis for people after the night ended, and a hotel room for him and a few friends to stay at. Unlike Seal, who spent thousands on food, French’s mother convinced the family to make most of the food so extra catering only set him back a couple of hundred dollars. It was family that made his mother intent of having a big 21st in the first place. “I think she just kind of got caught up in 21st being a big deal in New Zealand, but really it was just an excuse to get all the family together. It’s an easy sell.” It wasn’t an easy sell for the American contingent of his family, whose views on 21sts contrasts with what most people think about where big 21st parties came from. “It’s not a big thing in America. [My family] didn’t get why it was a big deal. They said they’d come for graduation but not for my 21st,” says French. According to him and family in the States, 16 is the new 21. “It’s issue 11 may 2010

when the kids start to make their own decisions. You can drive. It’s the independence,” says French. It seems the traditions of what 21 used to mean is lost on today’s young adults. Twenty-one represents the door to your future, yet neither French or Seal received the symbolic key which opens the door. French also chose not to partake in the infamous tradition of doing a yardie or 21 shots. He says the concept is an outdated tradition – albeit a fun one – but only staying alive because of parents pushing to keep it alive. Not everyone is willing to be pushed into tradition. Canterbury engineering student Alan Wightman doesn’t like to be the centre of attention. In fact, he hates it. His 21st last month seemed to reflect that. It was held in his backyard of his Christchurch flat. There were no balloons or streamers adorned around the deck. Food consisted of chips, both hot and cold. The bar tab was two kegs, next to battered couches and a game of beer pong; Wightman’s version of roulette. Music was played through speakers on an iPod and there was a hand-made strobe for lighting effects. There were no speeches from family because they were at home in Tauranga. He had visited them the week before. The only hint of tradition was when he did a yardie in the backyard with his flatmate. “I don’t really like cheesy family things,” he says. His parents gave him $500 to cover his 21st preparations and his flights home. The kegs cost him $357 and his flights were $180. The total cost from his pocket was $67, which included $40 fish and chips. Wightman says his parents didn’t encourage him to have an elaborate birthday, particularly his father, who had a bad experience. “He had a sweet toga party [for his 21st] which was also on St Patricks Day so that was pretty cool, but when he went home his mum had thrown him a surprise party with friends and family. He hated it.” Wightman believes, like French, 21st culture has been adopted from previous generations rather than American tradition, because back then it had more significance. What it comes down to, he says, is New Zealanders have a reputation for being a drinking culture, so they will use any excuse to throw a party, no matter what size. He also used the irresponsible connotations that come with drinking culture when explaining why some people choose to do a yardie or 21 shots. “Turning 21 is when you become an adult and you’re supposed to be more responsible. Doing a yardie is a good irresponsible thing to do. On your birthday you’re allowed to do dumb things.” Wightman thinks these “dumb things” are also what will keep 18ths from becoming the new milestone birthdays. Most teenagers still live at home when they turn 18, meaning the freedom to have a night dedicated to getting drunk and partying is limited. Plus, the metaphorical meaning of growing up is not the same as when you turn 21. “Twenty-firsts are symbolic. You can do what you want. Traditions do die out but I don’t see a particular reason for it to die out. It’s a fun tradition so it will probably stay.” It seems the party nature of New Zealand has overridden any old connotations of what 21 used to mean. No longer are people walking through the doors to their future, or relishing in the legal rights that come with reaching official adulthood. No, most are dressing themselves up, dancing with friends, drinking copious amounts of booze, blushing at embarrassing memories and flaunting the fact they made it. And isn’t that what birthdays are all about?

Youth in Revolt Courtney Jarrett ponders on the “grown-up” kids of today.

When I was younger, McDonalds toys were in their prime. Disney hadn’t backed away from their ‘fat’ connotations, and they released them one by one. You had to make four trips to McDonalds in one month to collect the entire set of Barbie collectables, each piece of the McDonald’s train set, or the cast of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. My favourite was the plastic Lion King figurine of Nala I got from my chicken mcnugget happy meal. Nala, although with Ken and Barbie spent many hours exploring the vast savannahs of my bedroom in their pink Barbie car before settling into their pink Barbie dollhouse, which was so disproportionate to the dolls themselves. The point is, life was good and the toys us ‘young folk’ got out of our $3.95 happy meals were the bees’ knees. Life doesn’t seem to be so fanciful now. Recently, a young girl around five walked into my workplace, dressed in pink Barbie clothing. After conjuring up feelings of nostalgia, I directed her to the plastic container filled with happy meal toys we keep for the latest generation of youngsters to play with. Barbie girl ignored the toys and commenced playing ‘Hearts’ on her mother’s Blackberry, while I ponder when I’ll get my first grey hair and wondering what happened to the youth of today. I remember when my father bought his first cell phone. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. Weighing in at almost a kilo, you could call anyone you liked, wherever you liked – as long as the aerial was fully extended, the area you were using it in was vast, open and silent and you stood on something tall. My first cell phone was acquired at the far-too-tender age of 10. It was the first Nokia to include the text function and had to have the date of time reprogrammed every time the phone was switched off for more than an hour. In all fairness though, should I be surprised? If girls can get abortions without their parents ever finding out then what is so shocking about a five-year-old with a fancy gizmo? Take the story of the 13-year-old from England who thought he had impregnated his 15-year-old girlfriend. Yes, you read correctly – 1.3. For weeks, this child (yes, he is a child) thought he was going to have to use his pocket money to buy baby clothes and diapers instead of a skateboard or the latest PlayStation game. Fortunately, the child was cleared as the baby’s daddy, but unfortunately the father was still under 16. So what has changed since I was his age - all those six years ago that is making the youth of today grow older, younger? Well to begin with, studies are showing that, on the whole, our youth are maturing and hitting puberty at a younger average age than ever before with an alarming number of girls getting their first period between the age of seven and

nine. But what is causing it? Yes, I’m sure all those growth hormones they pump into our Frankenchicken must be a contributing factor, but apart from the physical changes, what is affecting our children in terms of their newfound understanding of the ‘secret world’ of adulthood. Noone is EVER going to convince me that Mr 13 didn’t know what he was doing behind the bike sheds at recess. Perhaps he’d listened to one too many hip-hop songs or watched one too many music videos in which ‘blinged-out’ rappers brag about their sexual exploits while 20 of their girlfriends dance around them wearing half a pair of underwear each. Or maybe mummy went back to work when he was one month old and left him in care. This ever-increasing ‘fend-for-yourself’ attitude is a worrying thought. Children are being left to grow up by themselves in a family where both parents are living fast-paced busy lifestyles. This concept of “you have thumbs, pour your own juice – mummy has to take this call” is sickening to say the least. Too many adults are buying their children’s love in today’s society. Left on their own to grow up, children are forced to learn how to take care of themselves, use the internet because no one is home to help them with their homework. They learn how to use expensive and technically-advanced gifts their parents are buying them to prove their love. It’s no wonder kids these days are having sex younger – what else is there to do when your phone and iPod are charging, the maid’s cleaned your room and dinner’s in the microwave? And what about the story of the 11-year-old who took his mother’s car on a 100km joyride before bursting into tears at a petrol station and asking the pump attendant to ring his mum. While some children are forced to grow up quickly, others feel pressured into following the same concentric path of their friends. As usual the media glorified the situation, filming the boy being interviewed while in the driver’s seat of the car, grinning ear to ear. This in turn sparked uproar over the mother’s parenting capabilities. But what was she to do? She’s not allowed to smack her child and it’s not as if she can ground the boy or send him to his room – the kid can drive for fucks sake – I’m sure he can find a way to sneak out if he can manage to steal his mother’s car unnoticed. It’s pretty clear to me that there’s no stopping the youth of today. And so once more, I glance towards pink Barbie girl and say a silent prayer for the generation below me whose youth will be over before it has even begun. It won’t be long before McDonalds will start putting hitech products into children’s overpriced happy meals, but Nala will stay perched on top of my dresser, watching over me as I dream of the good old days. After all, it isn’t a Barbie world anymore.

Badass ways to destroy Earth

Let’s be honest, we’ve all had a moment where we’ve looked at a cool picture of Earth from space and wondered “Man that would be hard to destroy”. Correct, friends, it would be hard. But just how hard? After a large amount of research I can conclude - very hard. I didn’t stop there, however. My research led me to specific ways to destroy our fine planet, and I have found the most badass of these methods. Here are the findings of said research.

Let us begin by defining badass. Urban dictionary tells us that badass is “awesome to an extreme level, thereby leveraging unquestionable authority”. I am already in a fair state of awe regarding the universe, and as we all know – some awe = awe some. There is no doubt that destroying stuff is cool, but destroying the Earth? Is that cool? Theoretically: kind of. In practice: not really. For that reason, I must include a disclaimer before you take in the knowledge to follow. Under no circumstances should you attempt to destroy Earth using any of the following methods or any other methods. Cool, let’s get started. Bear in mind that a large portion of my research wasn’t actually research; I read it on this website www.qntm.org. I’ve assorted a few of the best methods of Earth destruction, including a variety of natural, not-so-natural ways and bullshit ways.

Antimatter

For the uninitiated, antimatter is the opposite of normal matter. On a really basic level, an antimatter atom forms from antiprotons and antielectrons combine. When these anti-atoms mix with real matter, shit goes down. Like they destroy each other. What you need: A lump of antimatter the same size as Earth. Method: Fling your anti-earth at real Earth. Run away. Result: Big flash of energy. Big black space where Earth used to be. Possible? Not at the moment. With our current technology, it would cost around NZ$200 quadrillion to produce one gram of antimatter. It would also take 100 billion years.

Badassness: 8/10.

Black Hole

Everyone has heard the term “black hole” thrown around in intermediate science class. It is everyone’s favourite bit of spacey stuff, and when it comes to eating planets, nothing quite entices our imagination like a giant, trippy black mess gobbling up space. What you need: A massive pile of neutrons. Method: Fling the neutrons at each other until they stick. Put your black hole on Earth. Result: Earth gets eaten by black hole. Possible? Based on the fact that it’s impossible for us to create black holes, not really.

Badassness: 9/10.

Blow it up

Nothing quite tends to my needs as a male than seeing or hearing the words “blow it up”. Blowing anything up is fun, and imagine the mess it would make if you blew up a planet. My only advice for this one is stand pretty far away because you might get hit by something. What you need: antimatter again. About 25,000,000,000,000 tonnes. That’s trillions. issue 11 may 2010

Method: Send your antimatter straight at Earth. Result: A huge amount of stuff goes everywhere. Massive chunk of Earth

disappears and the rest of it flies off in all directions. Possible? What do you think?

Badassness: 11/10.

Smash it with something

Theoretically, anything can be destroyed if you hit hard enough with something else. The idea is that the sheer amount of energy of a mass moving fast enough will knock the other object into little bits. What you need: Mars. A huge cannon to fit Mars in. Method: Put Mars in the cannon. Aim cannon at Earth. Fire. Result: Mars and Earth are both destroyed and bits of both planets fly everywhere. Possible? With the correct technology, yes.

Badassness: 15/10.

Note: For something more emphatic, build a bigger cannon and put Earth in it. Fire it at the sun.

Wait

If you’re talking about blowing up celestial objects, patience needs to be your thing. Even the most extravagant methods above things above would take ages to perfect, so waiting may be the best (synonymous with cheapest and easiest) way to destroy the Earth. If you wait long enough, the universe will expand to a point when all the stars burn out and everything just gets cold. After a while the Earth will decay. What you need: A fair whack of patience. Method: sit around for 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 ,000 years. That’s one undecillion. Result: The Earth gets really cold and progressively smaller until there’s nothing left Possible? Not only possible, inevitable.

Badassness: 2/10.

Those are my favourite methods of Earth ending – what’s yours? Do you even have one? There are countless other methods of destroying Earth including (but not limiting to): freezing the whole planet and then smashing something into it so it falls apart, becoming God and doing what you please, making 1=0 (if 1 Earth = 0 Earth, there would be no Earth), travelling back in time and preventing Earth from ever existing… the list goes on and on. While you may not think these methods are entirely possible, maybe next time the heavens open and you get soaked on your way to the train (like you did last Friday), you’ll get started on your evil genius antimatter plan instead of just complaining about how your socks are all wet.

It’s approaching the six month mark in the year and I bet you still haven’t seen all there is to see on campus. With exams approaching and procrastinating reaching fever pitch, why not grab some mates and go exploring around AUT’s city campus, and find out the strange and wonderful things about our little educational hub.

building, past the ANZ ATM. It’s small in comparison to other university gyms, but it has brand new equipment and not a lot of people know about it, so there’s generally little or no waiting times for machines, particularly during mid-morning. They also have casual rates and group classes so get your sweats on and head down to get your sweat on.

Broadcasting on the airwaves 10. Girls toilets in the Engineering building 5. Did you know that AUT has its own radio station? You first years might not A lot of student magazines around the country have rated their toilets over the past year. I haven’t done the same (although AUT has some shockers around campus) but I have recently stumbled across an unknown treasure in WD building; the female toilets. They are clean, fully stocked and quiet, but do you know the best part? No queues! I’ve never seen another female in those toilets at the same time as myself. If you want a quiet moment to yourself or somewhere to eat your lunch without being disturbed by the stinky creep who wants your number, head to WD building.

9. The student lounge

This room is hidden around the corner from the AuSM office (WC building) and is designed for students to go to relax, hang out with friends or play a game of table tennis. Yup, they have table tennis tables in there, but be quick! There is usually a line of engineers wanting to play (I’m not picking on anyone, I’m stating personal experience).

8. The dismembered statue

90 per cent of AUT city students will have seen the statue at the top of Lorne St on their massive trek down to the tower. I don’t know what it is or who made it, however it has had a bottle stuck on its finger for ages. Actually, come to think of it, I’m not even sure it’s still there. Anyway, the poor bugger lost his genitals and had them replaced with what seems like plasticine. It’s a sight to see.

7. High school-style lockers

For those of you who travel to university from Mordor (or Torbay) every day, you don’t want to be lugging around all your textbooks and laptop all day. Luckily, hidden in a crevice by the fitness centre, is a corridor filled with lockers just for students. With a new semester just around the corner, and plenty of new students entering university in July, make sure you snap up one quick.

6. AUT City campus gym

If you’re new to this campus, you can be forgiven for not knowing where the AUT fitness centre is. It’s tucked at the end of the first floor of the WC

know but Static FM is pretty damn cool (and not just because I know the dudes who are working on it this year). They have a whole studio up in the WE building where they blast music, news, shows and other fantastic things to the Auckland CBD. The frequency is 88.1fm, but if you don’t have a radio, you can stream it online. Sweet!

4. Books

So yeah, there’s this thing called the library. Go use it. Read the signs though – the top two floors are for silent study.

3. Lift off

There are many convenient lifts around the Wellesley campus, for when you’re too lazy to climb the stairs. In WA there are lifts that operate within the library, as well as a lift between the two building levels, which is located down a sneaky passageway on the bottom floor. WB has lifts at the Health Counselling and Wellbeing end if you don’t feel like tackling the outdoor gothic-inspired stairwell. Also, the voiceover in the WT building evaluators says more than “level 15, going down” or “ground floor, going up”. She actually tells you to step away from the doors. It was a total mindfuck when I first heard it.

2. Catch some shuteye

On level five in the WT tower is the student lounge where people use microwaves to heat up lunches and have a break from the hustle and bustle of uni life. Apparently, it’s also a good place for naps (so I’ve been told). Actually, it’s not good – it’s great. And I haven’t been told this, I’ve tried it myself. It was fantastic.

1. Our own top chefs on campus

AUT has a hospitality faculty filled with student culinary geniuses who produce food for our very own restaurant, the Four Seasons. You can get an awesome dinner at a student price, all made by fellow AUT students. There is also Beanz café, where you can get your caffeine intake before your 8am class.

“I hate to be the one to tell you this, but half your arse is hanging out from under that belt you’re wearing as a skirt.” There are some ‘fashion’ (I use this word lightly) trends/statements that should never be ok and it is these that really grind my gears. I have a closet full of clothing regrets. These embarrassing items, I’m glad to say, are only ever passing and most of them existed back in my primary school days. There were the pants with skirts attached, the shiny puffer jackets, clogs (which are once again making a comeback) and numerous other fashion disasters that started the day I was allowed to pick out my own clothes. Yet, I can say with certain confidence that there are some lines I’ve never crossed. When Supre clothing stores first hit our shores I was enticed by the “purse-friendly” prices. However, I learnt quickly and unfortunately the hard way. I walked into the store in need of a plain singlet to wear at the gym. I knew my size and so believed it unnecessary to try it on. I walked out of the store having only spent $7 and proceeded to the gym. It was only at the gym in front of the weights room mirrors that I noticed that a top I thought was normal enough was actually very low cut and had a slight midriff factor. Needless to say I wasn’t too enthusiastic to visit Supre anytime soon. It was from this shop that took girls down a new fashion road: the belt skirt. “Hey ladies! Check out this multi functioning strip of fabric that doubles as a belt and a skirt.” If your butt cheeks are hanging out from under your ‘clothes’ then sorry but you’ve left the house in underwear. I’m not complaining about this style of fashion because I am unable to wear it, I just believe that I should be able to walk up the stairs in the AUT Tower without copping and eyeful

of the girl who forgot half her clothes. It’s not only female fashion that’s bearing the brunt, because the lads can be just as bad. I never truly understood the concept of low-riding, perhaps they want to show off the underwear their mums have obviously bought for them. I was told the other week that low-riding originated in American prisons to demonstrate to other prisoners your willingness or “readiness” for sex. However after my own investigation into the topic it would seem that the true origin, while still in American prisons, was due to the inmates being given pants that were too big and the banned use of belts because of prisoners hanging themselves. Even US president Barack Obama has objections to this trend. In 2008 he appeared on MTV and said that creating laws to ban the practice was “a waste of time... Having said that, brothers should pull up their pants. You are walking by your mother, your grandmother, your underwear is showing. What’s wrong with that? Come on... Some people might not want to see your underwear. I’m one of them”. There will always be fashion trends that we’ll regret participating in. We have costume parties dedicated to remembering our terrible fashion history. I understand that clothes can be a way we communicate something about our personality but what are you trying to communicate when you walk around with your derriere on display? Nothing noteworthy I’m sure.

AuSM is looking for a reliable student to help out with weekly free feeds. Duties will include set-up and pack down of BBQ, dishing out food, some heavy lifting and other general event duties. Hours are 9:30 to 2pm every Tuesday and every second Wednesday during semester. You must have a clean driver’s licence and be able to drive a manual vehicle. Hourly rate is $13. If you are interested in the position please email your CV to carol.wilder@aut.ac.nz

issue 11 may 2010

Regular readers (or those that just happened to read my column at this time last year) would remember that I’m not really a fan of New Zealand Music Month. For all of you first years I’ll recap why it’s not as awesome as everyone seems to think. Basically, in order to benefit from New Zealand Music Month you need to be in a band that is already signed to a record label and be getting significant airplay. If you’re in a NZ band and not signed to a record label, it’s just another month of the year. My highly scientific survey of NZ musicians found they consider NZ music month to be “quite shit”.* The main problem with New Zealand Music Month is that it doesn’t help those who actually need the help. If you’re already signed to a record label, then they’re going to pay for you to record an album, pay for a music video or two and get you publicity. But what do you do if you’re just an independent New Zealand band or signed to a small label? You have to fund it all yourself. Shouldn’t these be the bands that New Zealand Music Month should be helping to promote? The people that actually need some free promotion. For example, what advantages did Opshop gain from their 10 gigs in 10 towns in one day? They’re already a well known New Zealand band, they already have a recording contract, and they already have someone to pay for publicity in other means. Yes it’s a pretty neat idea, but also a pretty expensive one. Couldn’t that money have been invested elsewhere? What about a concert at a large venue for some of the smaller NZ bands that could never afford to play there on their own? Or funding for some of these bands to release an album or make a music video? Because of this focus on what is already popular, many genres miss out on getting any coverage with New Zealand Music Month, especially the more underground ones, such as metal. This seems to go against the idea of bringing NZ music to the masses. So perhaps instead of spending $40 on a Music Month t-shirt, maybe it would be a good idea to spend that money on going to four $10 gigs for bands you have never heard of, buying four EPs from those same bands (maybe even more than four!), or splurge on an album or two. Take a browse through MySpace and see what New Zealand bands you come across that you’ve probably never heard of. There are a lot of them out there, and just because they’re not played on the radio once every hour doesn’t mean they’re a bad band. In fact, it probably means the opposite. *By ‘highly scientific survey of NZ musicians’ I mean about four people I know who are in NZ bands.

Writing around 740 B.C., the prophet Isaiah paints a picture of a time when:

“Peoples shall beat their swords into ploughshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation shall not lift up sword against nation; neither shall they learn war any more” (Isaiah 2:4), (Micah 4:1-3). As I wonder at the diversity of both the student body and academic and administrative staff here at AUT, I find it exciting in its potential both now and for the future. In our halls of residence as an example, at Wellesley Student Accommodation and Akoranga Student Village we have students from more than 30 countries alone. It is wonderful to observe the interaction that takes place as those from different cultures, languages, backgrounds and faith perspectives join together in sport, an evening out, or in someone’s apartment to party, and in study and encouragement and support of each other. In the library and computer labs and group study rooms, students from all corners of the globe and all backgrounds study privately side-by-side and work together to complete group assignments and presentations. In our turbulent world, from an international perspective, with intra-national and international conflicts continuing as we each study here, we do so conscious of those in Bangkok right now. Here is an example of one group of people determined that what they want is best for Thailand, and the government determined that their way is best. Some of the students and staff with whom we share our time at AUT are from this region and have concerns for loved ones in their home country. We have in our midst those from other troubled and unstable regions and we need to be sensitive to them at all times. The environment at AUT provides for significant opportunity to develop understanding and tolerance and a genuine desire to do our bit to making that part of the world we interact in a better place. As an “older student” I am excited to realise that among the very group I am presently here with, are those who will be significant leaders within their own countries and internationally in a range of disciplines. Yours is the future to embrace and claim and this will include allowing your interaction with those from so many countries to always be part of who you are as a holistic person. Continue to play and party together; to laugh together and to support each other when we need a shoulder to lean on. Take every opportunity to support one another in challenges of assignment and group presentation. Already the signs of autumn are around us and then will follow our southern hemisphere winter. We think of those things such as additional warm clothing and ensuring our work space is warm. We marvel in the joy of a warm smile and embrace on the coldest of days. So let us consider afresh the significance of our part in the community that is AUT. Let us embrace every opportunity for international, interracial and interfaith interaction and learn from each other in ways that go deep within our being new understanding and tolerance that will make up who we are in the days ahead!

So I was gonna write a column about how

almost half of our plums are contaminated with lead, but then I realised: I’ve already told you to steer clear of most chocolate, fish and meat... am I really going to throw fruit in the mix as well? No, no I’m not. If you’re interested, have a look on the Green Party website or Google it. It is an important issue, but I think the onslaught of final assignments and the looming worry of exams is probably enough to stress about just now. Besides, with all the negative press lately I don’t want people thinking “ahh well, we’re fucked anyway” and chucking environmental issues in the ‘too hard’ basket. This year has been full of ice-caps melting, orangutans dying and big floating piles of trash in the ocean, and amongst all this doom and gloom what gets lost are the stories of all those hippies around the world that are actually doing some really cool shit. So I dedicate this column to them. In the midst of deep-sea trawling and over-fishing scandals, the creation of the world’s largest marine reserve in March this year is some of the best news I’ve heard in a while. The protected area, in the midst of the Indian Ocean, is larger than the entire state of California and home to hundreds of endangered species of fish, coral, seabirds and sea turtles. A pretty sweet move if you ask me. Next up on my list is the decision to clean up Mount Everest. Seriously. I feel like I’ve done pretty well for myself if I manage to cruise down to a beach clean-up for a few hours on the weekend. These guys are picking up junk from 8,000ft that’s been there since Hillary and his mate Norway were gallivanting around the summit. Apparently all those oxygen bottles and tent ropes have been hanging out under the snow until recently, but that pesky global warming has put a stop to that and the garbage is seriously starting get in the way. So now a bunch of real-life-MacGuyver sherpas are going to clear it all up. Good on them. All you petrol heads out there are going to love this one: a Formula 3 racing car… made from potatoes, steered by carrots and run on chocolate. Now I thought this was rather nifty. Chemicals and fibers from raw vegetables and soy beans have been broken down and used to create different components of the car, with the engine being converted to run on waste chocolate and vegetable oils. It’s not just a gimmicky media-ploy either, with a top-speed of 215km/h; it just goes to show you don’t have to give up fun stuff to save the planet. And from weird to weirder, a school in Taiwan has this year made a recycled newspaper schoolhouse. Students and locals donated over 1,000kgs of newspapers which were then run through a homemade blender to create the 75sq m building which can accommodate 16 students. Plans are underway to build a restaurant using the same process. Now it took a bit of hunting, but once I got rolling I found a tone of upbeat stories about the environment, in fact enough to fill another five or six of these columns – and that’s just with stuff that’s happened this year! So next time you feel like you may as well buy an SUV, eat cheeseburgers and invest in coalpower for all the difference it will make – just remember you’re not the only one who gives a shit. issue 11 may 2010

The Human Centipede. Heard of it? If no,

turn back now. I repeat, turn back. It’s best you don’t know. Still reading? Still want to know what I’m talking about? Well don’t say I didn’t warn you. The Human Centipede is a torture porn film (think Saw) that revolves around a crazed doctor who creates er... a human centipede. By fusing a man and two women ass to mouth. Take a second to imagine it. No, it’s actually much worse. The film caught my attention late last year when the trailer started making it rounds on the internet. I’ve thus far only managed to watch the trailer twice and both times I’ve felt like it ate away a little part of my soul. My best description of the trailer to friends has been, “what the.. I don’t even... Just...” Initially it seemed like it was just going to be one of those freaky indie films doing the festival circuit, but now I keep seeing press about it. Interviews, more trailers, news of a general release, news of a sequel. I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY THE GENERAL PUBLIC WOULD WANT TO SEE THIS. I don’t understand the draw of torture porn in general. I get the attraction to something gory, with blood and guts and horror and thrills and twenty-somethings doing a bad job of playing teens. I can appreciate the horror genre. But the likes of Saw and The Human Centipede are on this whole other level of depravity I just don’t get. At some point does it not make you consider what sort of person you are if you enjoy it? Some might say I just need to harden up, but truth be told, I don’t want to. I’d rather say sensitised and keep my humanity, thanks. Plus I’ve already had my fill of horrific films seen misguidedly. I made the mistake a few years back of dragging two friends to an international film festival film called Taxidermia (no, stop fucking thinking of googling it). My friends and I are now somehow bonded by what we saw on that day. No one who wasn’t there can understand what we saw. It’s just... It’s a Hungarian film that ends with a guy LITERALLY taxidermy-ing himself. No, it was much worse than you imagine. How much worse, you ask? A man in the row in front of us started having a fucking seizure during the film’s climax. Yes, I am going on the record to claim it was so shocking it brings on epilepsy. From then on, a great way to crap all over my friend’s brains has been to utter the word “taxidermia”. But it was also a lesson for me. There are limits to what I can see on film without it staining my psyche. Taxidermia is a stain, and I know The Human Centipede would be a stain if I chose to see it. Which I won’t. But you probably will, wont you? You’ll pirate it and watch it with friends and you will all die a little and they will never let you pick a film again. I’ve been there, I know. Maybe if we all stay away from films that involved ass to mouse centipedes or bear traps on jaws or cutting one’s own foot off or whatever, the world will be a better place. You know, one full of ponies and rainbows.

Dear Agony Aunt, I started smoking when I was about 15. I’m 19 now and really into sport. I always thought I would be able to stop when I wanted to and am really freaked out because I can’t. Where can I go for help? Freaked Out

Dear Freaked Out, Congratulations. You have made the first step to a healthier life. Stopping smoking is the best thing you can do for your health. Smoking is the leading preventable cause of death in developing countries and smoking related diseases account for one in 10 adult deaths worldwide. You might be interested to know (or not) some of the chemicals found in cigarette smoke. These include cyanide, butane (lighter fuel), acetone (polish remover) and methanol (rocket fuel). Now that’s scary! It is not surprising that you are finding it difficult to stop smoking. Many people who smoke think they will be able to give up when they want to and believe they are not addicted. It can come as a shock to find out they can’t. Nicotine is a powerful drug and should not be underestimated. Nicotine works by binding to nicotine receptors in the brain that are linked to reward centres. Activation of these reward centres (which occurs every time you light up) leads to a strong sub-conscious urge to smoke. Not being able to give up smoking does not mean you are a weak person – it means you are addicted to the drug nicotine. A very small minority of people will be able to give up smoking by going “cold turkey”. In other words, they give up on their own with no nicotinereplacement therapy. These people are lucky and unusual. Most people need to use Nicotine Replacement Therapy (NRT). All the evidence suggests that people who use NRT when quitting smoking are twice as likely to succeed in stopping smoking and staying stopped. This is great news. Using NRT will not cause you any harm and is by far less harmful than smoking. At the moment your body is demanding nicotine. You are supplying your brain with nicotine in the form of cigarette smoking along with all the other dangerous chemicals mentioned above. This is what we refer to as a “dirty delivery system”. NRT allows you to satisfy your bodies demand for nicotine without the other harmful ingredients contained in tobacco and deliver it in a clean way (a clean delivery system). NRT is available as patches, gum, inhalator, lozenges, and micro tabs. They all release small amounts of nicotine (considerably smaller than the amount in a cigarette) and if used correctly prevent the onset of withdrawal symptoms. Withdrawal symptoms can be very unpleasant and sometimes include symptoms of irritability, restlessness, loss of concentration, sleep problems, depression and constipation. Unfortunately NRT is not a magic cure and a certain amount of effort and commitment is needed to succeed. If you have decided you really want to stop smoking you can book an appointment to see a nurse or doctor at Health Counselling and Wellbeing. Phone 9219992 for city campus or 9219998 for North Shore campus. If you prefer online help then your nurse can enrol you onto a smoke stop programme www. smokestop.co.nz. Other smoking cessation programmes:

Quit line 0800778778 www.quit.org.nz Come along to World Smoke Free Day at North Shore campus on May 25 from 11am until 2pm. You will be able to try some NRT and speak to a smoke stop coach who will be able to give you the support you need.

Horoscopes with Tenani French Sketchysmiley illustrations by David Kerkhoff www.dafont.com

Like it! Mitchell Kinney

Mr. Kinney has been complaining to me for weeks about how I mention other people in this column and not him. So for no other reason other than to get him off my case I present to you a suggestion of preposterous proportions: Mitchell Kinney. Not much is known about this mysterious figure other than his compulsive need to laugh at everything and his strange obsession with Celine Dion. Google him, if you dare...

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

You finally decide to get your dreadlocks removed only to uncover a family of spiders who are displeased with the fact that their home has just been attacked. They will attempt to harm you. Wear goggles.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) There is no need to hate your mother for forgetting your allergy to cucumber. Your eyes may be swollen but that can be easily fixed. Wear goggles.

GEMINI (May 21-June 21)

It is true, you are a mermaid. Take your mer-self down to the ocean this week and frolic in the balmy waters. Wear goggles.

CANCER (June 22-July 22)

Snob it! Dame Kiri shoots down Susan Boyle

Your local bowling alley is hiring and you dream of making a memorable impression at the interview. Wear goggles.

Dame Kiri’s being a bit of a grumpy bitch lately. In a UK interview she got hot and heavy when asked to comment on Susan Boyle’s success, saying that Boyle was whizz-bang, and that she felt sorry for the contestants on shows like The X Factor. Oh, did I mention she’s doing the interview to promote her own competition where she’s looking for the next big opera singer? Yeah... Someone’s a little jealous of SuBo’s spotlight. Hypocrite.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Slut it!

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23)

Miss USA also Miss Stripper

So the recently crowned Miss USA previously competed in a stripper contest, so what? Does that make her any less hot? No, I don’t think so. Isn’t Miss USA a beauty pageant? Most hot girls I know like to flaunt it, so you’d be pretty hard pressed to find a Miss USA that doesn’t have a dirty past. Or at least a few dirty pictures floating around the internet. Leave her alone. She’s cool.

Download it! Studios continue attack on The Pirate Bay

It seems it’s another day, another downloaded dollar in the ongoing struggle between the Hollywood studios and the movie downloading site The Pirate Bay. After last year’s high profile court case which ended in the site’s founders sentenced to jail time and a fine, many thought the site would join Napster in internet heaven, but alas, torrents survive and the studios are mad. Columbia Pictures, Walt Disney Pictures, Paramount Pictures, Twentieth Century Fox, Universal, and Warner Bros. have all applied to have the site’s access to the internet cut. Aw, poor pirates...

If there’s something you think the student masses of AUT need to know about, send us an email to debate@aut.ac.nz with Suggestions in the subject line.

You shall pitch the proverbial tent in a lecture this week. Be inconspicuous. Wear goggles.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

You finally decide to read the invitation you were given last week only to realise that it is not even addressed to you. Attack the fool who attempted to make a mockery of your social prowess. Wear goggles. You are a free spirit and do not bow down to current trends. You will not wear goggles.

SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) A bird will hold a grudge against you all week and attempt at all costs to shit in your eye. Wear goggles.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) There will be a point in time where you shall feel an incontrollable desire to submerge yourself in a bathtub of vinegar. Wear goggles.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Why is the sky blue? Why is the grass green? I don’t know but asking strangers at random on Queen St may help you with your queries. If you’re concerned about them taking you seriously, I suggest you avoid following sudden trends. Do not wear goggles.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Feeling adventurous? Attempt to scale the entire flight of stairs in the WT building in flippers. Wear goggles.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

This Thursday it shall be your turn to cook. You wish to prepare an onion-filled dinner and your eyes will not be happy. Wear goggles.

issue 11 may 2010

The Cult of the Celebrity Fashion Designer by Heather Rutherford

ecently I have noticed there seems to be more and more celebrities having a go at cracking into the fashion industry. Some of these creative career changes have been good. Some, not so good. Here is looking at the good, the bad and the downright ugly: Gwen Stefani is probably the biggest success story when it comes to the celebrity-cum-fashion designer career path. Her label L.A.M.B (love angel music baby) had its runway debut in 2004 to general success. It annually turns over around $90 million. Stefani comes from a long line of seamstresses and used to make all her onstage clothing. With such distinct style and interest in fashion, it seems only natural that she launched her own label. Heavily influenced by her own music, Gwen’s label combines elements of Ska, Punk and Japanese style. Keen to expand on Japanese style even more, Stefani launched a sister line called Harajuku Lovers in 2005 which is heavily inspired by ‘Kawai’ Japanese fashion and street style. Gwen Stefani has no doubt (excuse the pun) paved the way for future pop-lets to create their own labels After a few hits and misses, former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham has finally found herself a new career niche (at least for the time being). After failing to establish a successful solo music career, Victoria turned to her true calling, fashion. She has released a range of jeans with Rock and Republic, signature perfumes, starred in a Marc Jacobs ad campaign, and finally her own self-titled line of woman’s evening wear. When I first heard Victoria Beckham was releasing her own line of clothing I cringed in anticipation. However, I must admit Victoria Beckham’s fashion line is in fact, not too shabby. Her first collection was spring 2009 ready to wear and was dubbed “one of the hottest things in New York” by style.com. Her line started out fairly modestly with a 15-piece collection and by appointment only showings and is very slowly expanding. It is as if Victoria herself is aware and weary of over exposing her label due to her celebrity status and wants to earn her fashion design stripes the good old fashioned way. Since the more modest beginning of her label, she has moved on to small fashion presentations but still only 500 dresses of each style are made. The dresses from her latest fall 2010 ready to wear collection would make even the fugliest M.F look amazing. I’m not sure if I could afford the price tag, but if I could, I would most definitely like to get my hands on one. I would like to see Victoria Beckham do well at this fashion design business. Hopefully she

will do well in the next few seasons and graduate to become a key player in the fashion industry. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are another success story. Their high end label called The Row (named after the famous Saville Row in London) uses top quality luxurious fabrics and simple but edgy cuts. They once described their label is being “high end basics”. This is not their only foray into the fashion world. It started when they were young, fresh out of Full House, they had a fashion and make-up line called Mary-Kate and Ashley: Real fashion for real girls, which was marketed towards girls aged four to 14. Nowadays, along with The Row, they also have a slightly less expensive label called Elizabeth and James, named after their brother and sister, which has a more vintage, quirky feel. Now it is with great sadness that I discuss the fashion disaster that was the collaboration of the French fashion house Emanuel Ungaro, and actress Lindsay Lohan. In order to create some easy publicity for their label, the directors of Emanuel Ungaro appointed Lindsay Lohan to the position of artistic director. Her first season (and subsequently last) spring 2010 ready to wear, was a bit of an eyesore. The collection didn’t start out too bad, but things quickly declined, and it hit an all time low at outfit number nine. It was as if fashion from the 1980s and fashion from Supre had a love child. And that love child threw up all over the models on the catwalk. There was a love-heart theme throughout the collection. The sequined heart shaped pasties were obviously a Lohan influence (pasties are sticky things than porn stars and the like use to cover their nipples) as was the sequined heart placed in the centre of some models heads. Thankfully LiLo has not returned for round two at Emanuel Ungaro. Hopefully in the future she will stick to acting, or whatever it is that she does. The fashion world is littered with celebrities trying their luck. Apart from those mentioned above, there are other big names such as Sienna Miller with her label Twenty8Twelve, Kim Kardashian with her fashion boutique D-A-S-H, Kate Moss for Topshop, among others. More recently Lily Allen has been talking about getting a piece of the action as well. I am not against this fashion phenomenon – I think it adds a lot of colour and excitement to the industry. Some of these celebrities actually come across as being quite good. Hopefully the (mostly) high calibre of work continues. I am already excited about what they will put out for next season.

Parisindhell

1st YrFashion Design Dress-Vintage Shoes-Karen Walker

Rebecca Casey

Margaux Zajac

Jacket-Vintage Pants-Area 51 Top-Nevada Necklaces-Presents Shoes-Wildpair

Jacket-Mango Shoes-Wild Pair Jumper-Jigsaw Development Shirt-From Hong Kong Earrings-Karen Walker Necklace-Pandora

1st Yr Communications

Munns: The Man’s Store

191 Queens Street, Auckland City Mon – Fri 9am-5.25pm Saturday 9.30am – 5pm Sunday 10am-4pm

o if you haven’t guessed, your mystery shopper is a girl. But this week I really wanted to check out Munns on Queen St, so I enlisted the help of my mate to give me a guy’s point of view. I’ve walked past the escalator to Munns too many times, but I didn’t have the guts to go up it. But when I finally plucked up the courage to travel up that escalator, I realise it’s an automatic stairway to heaven. The billboard at the door showed some fancy-looking men’s suits, so I expected to be confronted by expensive men’s clothing at the top of the stairs. To my surprise, I found designers shirts such as Pierre Cardin, Paul Alan, R.M Williams, Cambridge and Levis were selling at half price. It reminded me of Briscoes. It made me want to buy them immediately. I resisted though. Just. At the top, the place has a cosy but classy feeling; a man’s domain but friendly for the ladies. It’s squeezed between Cue and Valley Girl. Maybe it’s a man’s idea of the perfect store; clean, uncluttered, and complete with mirrors on the ceiling. They have all the normal stuff: ties, jackets,

designer casual and business Price Range: $20 - $1500 shirts, as well as suits. You Size Range: S - XXL can hire stuff too. I got the Wear to uni? For the savvy gentleman impression that successful Wear to town? Yes!! men shopped at this store. Guys or girls? Guys But the prices mean people on their way to being successful can also shop there. Straight ahead of the entrance is a separate section for Pierre Cardin displaying the most exquisite suits costing up to $1000. There’s also a corner display with a Parisian tailored bow tie made of pure silk for only $26. My mate was pretty chuffed with the place. He says he needs some new business shirts and this is the place to get them. I reckon it’s a pretty good alternative to the old Hallensteins suit everyone else owns. You can get suits and jackets for as low as $150 each, great for that job interview, graduation ceremony, or awkward dinner where you have to meet “the family” for the first time.

This review was written by a graduate in Retailing. If you are interested in retail and why people buy, take a look at papers in the Retail major in the Business School. You don’t have to be a business student to take the papers, so check out the website today!

issue 11 may 2010

Sea of Cowards

The Dead Weather CD Review by Mike Atkins

Avenue Q

Live at the Civic Theatre, May 13-May 30 Theatre Review by Katie Montgomerie

In the old, old days of pop-music, it meant the death of a musician’s career to go more than about a year without releasing new material (the Beatles’ 12 albums in seven years is an often cited statistic). But in these days of greater touring and publicity commitments, a new album every two years is considered prolific, and any artist who tries to buck the trend with a quicker turn around, especially between their first and second albums, inevitably suffers from the notorious “sophomore slump”; and they spend an extended period of time in the purgatory of the never-beens, and the almost weres. You’d think that being a new band in name only, a super group would be immune to this sort of thing. The four members of The Dead Weather (Alison Mosshart, Dean Fertita, Jack Lawrence and Jack White) have roughly a decade of experience each, and are among the few bona fide rock stars that the new millennium has produced. If anyone could be trusted with a quick turn-around, it’s these guys. But no, it turns out that the rule of the sophomore slump operates with depressing regularity. Not that Sea of Cowards is a bad album (I don’t think that that would be possible from these four), it’s just the same album as Horehound. Or maybe they’re separate discs in a double album, because there are differences, just not a whole new album’s worth of them. Sea of Cowards has more of a classic-rock vibe, whereas Horehound was punkier. This is sort of like a mutant post-modern version of Hendrix or Led Zeppelin, where the last was the same approach taken to the music of a decade later (which was already pretty post-modern, giving this album the edge in novelty at least). But given Horehound’s lack of reliance on the established sounds of the members’ other bands, the fact that this is a bit samey is a little disappointing. It’s not a good sign that a few of the songs on this album could be mistaken for songs on the last. But enough with the negativity. With the qualifying statement that “everything positive that could be said of this album is equally true of the last”, there’s a lot of positive things that could be said of it. It’s satisfyingly heavy, and mean. It’s also impressively coherent. Another rule (or cliché) of rock criticism is that super groups get formed for no other reason than because sometimes rock stars make friends with each other, and friends like to hang out. But the fun that these guys have with each other actually makes it onto the album. Sure they get a little silly sometimes with reverbed vocals, and washes of progressive proto-gothic synthesizers, but that’s still as much fun for us, as it was for them. These guys are consummate professionals, and when they just jam, it’s an utter pleasure to listen too. Jack White has, between his many many projects, maintained a 60s like level of prolificacy without a major misstep. They’re not exactly treading water here, but it is less than essential. BTW: Jack Lawrence looks good with a beard. he’s now less conspicuous as the least good looking member of the band.

“Everyone’s a little bit racist...sometimes.

Doesn’t mean we go around committing hate crimes! Look around and you will find... No one’s really colour blind. Maybe it’s a fact we all should face... Everyone makes judgments based on race!” Yes, this and so much more! Avenue Q had an awesome lack of political correctness but even though it hit on subjects like race and sexuality, they somehow did it in a way that wasn’t actually offensive... Partly because the people we were laughing at were puppets! The show was described by my sister as “a f***ed up version Sesame Street crossed with South Park”, so as you would expect it was a night of cackling away at jokes that you would usually only laugh at in your head. The whole cast of Avenue Q were fantastic and Natalie Alexopoulos, who played (puppeteered) Kate Monster and Lucy T Slut, had a particularly amazing singing voice and she switched from the sweet and quiet Kate Monster into the sexy husky-voiced Lucy T Slut in seconds, thanks to seamless transitions and a helping hand from another actor. Now one thing I might have to warn you about is Gary Coleman. Who the hell is Gary Coleman? There were a lot of jokes centred on this “has been” actor that I just didn’t get! Maybe I’m a little too young and unAmerican to get the recurring joke, but as this is a student magazine and a lot of people reading this will be around the same age as me, I’m guessing that you guys might not get it either. He, according to Wikipedia, was best known for his role on Different Strokes from 1978-86... Yeah... it didn’t ring any bells for me either! So unless you watch re-runs of old school television, don’t expect to get that joke. Aside from the Gary Coleman “in-jokes” Avenue Q was ridiculously funny and the character Trekkie Monster was my absolute favourite. Every time he came on the stage he stole the show, especially in The Internet Is For Porn. He sounds just like Cookie Monster on Sesame Street, only dirtier and consequently funnier. It will sound really weird but his fingers were awesome, who knew you could get so much character into a puppet that doesn’t even have any legs!? The puppet wielding cast in general were absolutely amazing, especially as they only had around five weeks rehearsal with the puppets and the Australian cast sang as well (if not better!) than the original cast on Broadway. So if you want an assured laugh this comedy festival that isn’t the result of an obnoxious comedian heckling some poor sod who had the misfortune to sit in the front row, go to see Avenue Q, the best thing about it is the dark theatre... This means no one can see you when you laugh unashamedly at the lengthy and sordid puppet sex scene!

Be Honourable

Josie Long Live at The Basement, May 12-15 Comedy Review by Amy Donohue

The very premise of Josie Long’s show had

me hooked. How exactly, I ask, can anyone resist a show that describes itself as “a ramshackle call to arms about belonging, eating breakfast and doing good”. She used the word ramshackle. I love the word ramshackle. I also loved and adored Josie before this show and now love her even more passionately. Major, all-consuming girl-crush status. We rolled up on a cold, rainy night and Josie, in all her adorable glory, was handing out handwritten, photocopied ‘zines about her show at the door. She had shiny sneakers on. And a fun spotty dress. Swoon. Then she had computer problems and her show started twenty minutes late. I didn’t care. She filled the time with nonsensical, delightful tales of her recent diet. As she couldn’t eat food, she developed an obsession with looking at pictures of greasy, fatty food on the internet. Just as other people looked at pornography, she said, so she looked at food. This segued into a dissection of a blog by Walter Ezell, a man who took a photo of his OTT breakfasts every day for a year. Her sweet yet fanatical analysis of Walter’s meals, photos and subsequent user comments was brilliant - I didn’t realise a photo of an omelette could make me chortle. But chortle I did, an awful lot. Breakfast fascination aside, the intention of Be Honourable! was to stir the audience into conscientious action. Using a giant notepad, skilled sketches of Billy Bragg and some British politicians, and her infectious smile, Josie hurtled through her political beliefs, disappointment in apathetic hipsters, outrage at David Cameron’s Prime Ministerial election and more in a very accessible, very funny style. Did I mention I have a major girl-crush on her? I do and I think you would too if you’d gone. Josie is a rare beast - immensely intelligent but not a complete arse about it. Friendly but challenging. Knowledgeable but self-deprecating. Basically, she is like a magical unicorn full of happiness and strength and delight. Highly recommended.

issue 11 may 2010

Four Heads

Live at Elliot Stables, May 12-15 Comedy Review by Catherine Selfe They say that two heads are better than one,

so should four heads be better than two? While you would think that this is a simple equation ending in an affirmative, Four Heads comedic group just don’t add up. The group consists of Ferg (UK), Sanjay Patel (NZ), Chris Cook (NZ) and Stella Graham (UK) but this quartet should really consider becoming a trio. New Zealand born Indian, Sanjay Patel, really brought down the overall quality of the group. I understand that stand up comedy often consists of taking the mickey out of people and being as politically incorrect as possible but to make humour of a group of people that can’t stand up for themselves is wrong. Patel incorporated a joke about a mentally handicapped person into his act and not only was it not funny, I had heard it before (it wasn’t funny then either). The rest of his jokes were humourless and he kept telling the audience they should be laughing. Thankfully, the act wasn’t ruined as the rest of the Heads had something humorous to say. Highlight of the evening for me was definitely Ferg who was funny from head to toe...literally. His outfit was outrageous and his act was equally funny. Fellow Brit Stella Graham had numerous amusing quips and although her act felt slightly more rehearsed than Ferg’s it didn’t stop what she was saying from being funny. I had actually seen her perform before and so some of her material was familiar to me and yet just like re-runs of Friends or Malcolm in the Middle they remained funny in the repeats. To get the Kiwis back in the good graces, Chris Cook provided enough laughs to compensate for the losses created by Patel’s earlier performance. Although I didn’t find all his material amusing he kept the audience entertained for a good majority. Based on a laugh-o-meter of the audience I’d have to say, and agree, that Ferg provided the nights best laughs. Four Heads are overall a good laugh. Not the side-splitting- tears rolling performance you always hope to get from a comedy show but they are worth the watch. Three out of four is a majority but to be on the safe side I’d suggest one of the heads needs to go on the block to heighten the possibility for future success.

Social Sports This Week City

Box Fit Wednesdays 7:45-8:45am Football Tuesdays and Thursdays 4-6pm Auckland Domain

North Shore

Handball Tuesdays 11:30-1pm Turbo Touch Wednesdays 12-1pm Pilates Thursdays 12:30-1:30pm (Thanks to the School of Sport)

Manukau

Touch Mondays 12-2pm Netball Tuesdays 2-4pm Tennis Thursdays 2-4pm

Friday, August 6 Sports include: basketball, netball, soccer, touch, ultimate frisbee, volleyball, rowing, lacrosse contact Kate Lowden: klowden@aut.ac.nz or 0212882586

BOXFIT eNtrieS CloSe

July 27 every wednesday morning

7:45 - 8: 45 AM student lounge

Melita Martorana AuSM Sport Team Leader melita.martorana@aut.ac.nz 021 813 428 32

Aut City campus

WEBSITE: www.ausm.org.nz/recreation FACEBOOK: join our group “AuSM Sport”

AUT Sport & Fitness Centre North Shore Campus

August 10 2010 fiNalS October 14 2010 max 16 teamS

kiCk off

Kate Lowden AuSM Sport Co-ordinator kate.lowden@aut.ac.nz 021 288 2586

ts e k ic 5*

t $2 t t n de Us

stUFROM

Rldwide!

winneR OF 20 MAjOR AwARds wO

seAsOn

issue 11 may 2010

Recommended for people 15 years

*service fees apply

“the funniest puppet sex scene since team AmerHeraiclda” sun

FROM 13 MAY - stRictlY liMited the civic, tHe edGe BOOk nOw 0800 BUYtickets or www.BUYtickets.cO.nz and over.

Sarah Almeshal

Bachelor of Medical Laboratory Do you think AUT should be smokefree? I don’t know What is your favourite form of procrastination? Sleep Lady Gaga or Christina Aguilera? Christina What song do you wish they’d stop playing on the radio? I like all kinds of songs, I don’t mind Who would play you in a movie about your life? Penelope Cruz

Nabila Marzouk

Bachelor of Business (Marketing) Do you think AUT should be smokefree? No! What is your favourite form of procrastination? Facebook Lady Gaga or Christina Aguilera? Beyonce What song do you wish they’d stop playing on the radio? Blackbox – Stan Walker Who would play you in a movie about your life? Jessica Alba

Sam Henwood

Conjoint Bachelor of Business and IT Do you think AUT should be smokefree? Yes What is your favourite form of procrastination? Playing rugby 08 on the computer and scoping chicks in the library Lady Gaga or Christina Aguilera? Gaga What song do you wish they’d stop playing on the radio? Justin Bieber Who would play you in a movie about your life? Cliff Curtis

Jessie Faingataa Bachelor of Applied Science (Environmental Science)

Do you think AUT should be smokefree? Yes What is your favourite form of procrastination? Scoping chicks in the quad Lady Gaga or Christina Aguilera? Gaga What song do you wish they’d stop playing on the radio? Young Sid Who would play you in a movie about your life? Denzel Washington

Michael Emile

Bachelor of Maori Media Do you think AUT should be smokefree? Yes What is your favourite form of procrastination? Scoping chicks in the computer lab Lady Gaga or Christina Aguilera? Gaga What song do you wish they’d stop playing on the radio? Bieber Who would play you in a movie about your life? Chris Tucker

This could be YOU!

Watch out for debate around campus --you could be the next micro-celeb!

There will be five

Finals: Thursday, 27th May

World Smokefree Day Information Stalls at Free feeds North Shore on Tuesday 25th May.

Finals: May 25th at

Vegetable Lasagne & Fruit (Moccona double shot for first 50 served)

tuesday

thursday

(outside library)

north shore

25th May 12 pm

city campus

12 pm

27th May

Want to study smarter not harder? Research has found studying to slow, sixty-beat per minute, baroque music to be invaluable in improving study and work efficiency, memory recall and concentration.

* Only

$25

A range of studies have found that when studying to slow baroque: • blood pressure lowers • heartbeat slows to a healthy rhythm • fast, beta brainwaves decrease by 6% while alpha waves of relaxation increase by an average 6% • the right and left hemispheres of the brain become synchronised • the body goes into a powerful state of alert relaxation in which it functions more efficiently on less energy, making more energy available for the brain Study 4 Success is a compilation study CD of 60 beat-per-minute baroque pieces by acclaimed composers, including Vivaldi, Bach and Albinoni. NETT price - no further discounts apply.

AUT Akoranga Campus AUT City Campus 90 Akoranga Drive, Northcote 55 Wellesley Street East, Auckland City Tel: 489 6105 Fax: 489 7453 Tel: 366 4550 Fax: 366 4570 Email: aut.akoranga@ubsbooks.co.nz Email: aut.city@ubsbooks.co.nz Web: www.ubsbooks.co.nz 36 Open Monday to Friday or shop securely online 24/7