debate issue 12, 2011

issue 12 2011

motorsport in review

www.ausm.org.nz

The massacre of the Syrian regime

GOING VEGE: GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE?

intellectual pulp fiction

1.

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2.

issue 12 2011

ISSUE 12 2011

5 Editorial 6 Letters/Creative Corner 8 Vesbar Birthday photos 9 News 11 Recipes 12 Sport

Jonathan Camp looks at two of the biggest events in motorsport of late

13 How To

Les Tuilaepa tells you how to use exercise to get better grades (hopefully)

on the cover

Untitled

by Angel Guanlao

editor

all rights reserved.

Samantha McQueen samantha.mcqueen@aut.ac.nz

designers

Deanne Antao Nonavee Dale

sub-editor Alisha Lewis

contributors

Vaughan Alderson | AuSM | Jessica Beresford | Nicole Brown | Jason Burnett | Alicia Mar’ee Burrows | Jonathan Camp | Connor Crawford | Alicia Crocket | Elesha Edmonds | Jess Etheridge | Angel Guanlao | Craig Hoyle | Tasneem Kalbon | Rocky Mak | Ben Matthews | Nicola Monera | Katie Montgomerie | Ashleigh Muir | Veronica Ng Lam | Heather Rutherford | Declan Salmon | Ana Sheehan | Katherine Tetzlaff | Rosie Tuck | Les Tuilaepa | Danielle Whitburn

advertising contact

Kate Campbell kate.campbell@aut.ac.nz

This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUCKLAND STUDENT MOVEMENT AT AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY INCORPORATED (“AuSM”). Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly. Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AuSM.

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Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, PMP Print or its subsidiaries.

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14 Prez Sez/AuSM Update 15 That’s So Gay: A Reader’s Response 15 The ‘Justice’ in Death 16 The Massacre of the Syrian Regime 18 Going Veggie

Alisha Lewis weighs up the pros and cons of vegetarianism

20 Mums vs. Google 20 The Wiggles = Law Degree Katherine Tetzlaff explains how the above sentence is true

21 The Caring Company 22 Anonymous: Digital Hacktivists 22 Big Brother’s Watching You 23 Putting the Pro in Procrastination 24 Intellectual Pulp Fiction 25 Columns 26 Agony Aunt/Word of the Week 27 Suggestions/Horoscopes 28 Fashion 29 What Are You Wearing 30 Reviews

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4.

issue 12 2011

directory

I

sat down to write my editorial this week with not a strong direction on where it should be going. We’re 12 weeks into the academic year – three months – and semester one is just a hair’s breadth away from being over; my brain has given me a big “fuck it, I’m off for the rest of the week” and I’m left with a blank word document wondering how to sell this week’s contents to you.

I have spent all week listening and dissecting Lady Gaga’s new album (p. 30), so I could talk all about that but to be honest, I’m a bit over hearing news about her and her “shocking acts” (isn’t everyone?).

Music shouldn’t be about $10 million music videos, wacky outfits and creating the most controversy possible, it should be about making music from the heart that will one day be someone’s favourite album. Needless to say, Born This Way doesn’t make the cut into my top 10. Maybe next time.

So that one was ticked off the list.

The next topic I had on my “editorial ideas” list was to talk about the new breed of vegetarians, inspired by the feature by Alisha Lewis on page 18. But even though I’m the figurative captain helming this debate ship, I don’t have much of a clue about all the benefits of being a vegetarian. I’ve never parted with my chicken burger or spaghetti Bolognese long enough to notice the benefits – plus, tofu tastes like what I imagine ass would. Instead, my lowly meat-eating brain has always had the idea that vegetarians and vegans were rake thin hippies who wore a lot of plaid, smoked a lot of weed and played some form of alternative musical instruments. Even though I know celebrity vegetarians like Anne Hathaway, Christina Applegate and Olivia Wilde don’t fit the stereotype at all (except maybe the rake thing part), my mind always wanders when I see a Trade Me listing for a flat in Grey Lynn looking only for vegetarian flatmates.

So that’s off the list too.

There are articles on motorsport (p. 12) and the Playstation drama (p. 22) in this issue that I could talk about, but my knowledge of the two is even less than when I was talking about vegetarianism. I don’t know if it’s genetic, but I’m programmed to switch off whenever I see cars racing in circles – either in real life or on a television screen – and my driving skills aren’t anything to rave about it (although I can parallel park a manual like a boss).

Wow, I’m really scraping the barrel now, aren’t I? It’s not that I am unprepared – it’s just that nothing has jumped out at me this week, screaming “form an opinion about me and try and force it on the world”. It has all been Arnold, planking and American Idol (shudder). It’s the end of Mayitis (an illness I coined last year to describe the most lethargic month of the year) and it’s the last week of semester before you all cower over ridiculously heavy with the caffeine shakes. You probably gave up on this uninspired piece of writing three paragraphs ago. I know my brain did.

P.S. Never fret, I have a chance to redeem myself with next week’s issue – which is the last issue for semester one. You can procrastinate till your heart’s content.

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5.

debate letters policy: Letters need to make it into debate’s mailbox before Wednesday, 3pm each week for the following issue.

You must give us your name when submitting letters to be eligible for letter of the week, but you can use a pseudonym for publication if you wish. Any letters longer than 250 words may be subjected to editing. Spelling and grammar will not be corrected. The editor reserves the right to decline without explanation. Most importantly, the views contained on the letters page do not necessarily represent the views of AuSM. Send your letters to debate@aut.ac.nz or if you want to kick it old school, PO Box 6116, Wellesley St, Auckland.

Letter of the week wins two movie tickets for Event Cinemas!

Letter of the week: HOP!

I think the Hop cards are a great idea and will make using public transport easier and more efficient, but when I went to top up my Hop card for the first time I was outraged by the 25c transaction fee I have to pay every time I top up!

I felt ripped off because I don’t remember being told about this fee, and when I looked on the Hop website for more information, it only mentioned the fee in the questions section. I am annoyed because I think that public transport should be available to everyone, and sometimes it can be almost as expensive as driving. Although 25c is not much, we shouldn’t have to pay a fee to access something we should be getting for free.

Nat.

pooling down to the Poe to buy food from Hells, McDonalds and Mobil Service Station.

Students in the city have the hub where they can buy a decent hot meal for 6 bucks and it actually tastes like home cooked meals or they can have a decent cuppa at the Hub, Counter, Beanz, the new outlet inside WH or take a 2 minute stroll down Queen Street to

Starbucks and other outlets. Vending machines are selling so called healthy food at a ridiculous price. Students in the Hub have a choice what they want to buy such as chocolates etc. During the Uni games students from other Unies were disgusted on what we have. Have a look at Massey in Albany and UoA campuses.

Reginals Scheenhagen

Response to Danny Bhoy review:

Well known comedians who do not have to be crass to be ‘funny’ are few and far between, so I would like to take my hat off to Samantha McQueen for writing such an accurate review of Danny Bhoy’s recent NZ shows. I have been an avid DB fan for a few years now, and it always breaks my heart when people do not know who he is. I attended one of his sold out Wellington shows (the small amount of my friends who actually appreciate him study in Wellington) and it was spectacular, we had barely broken the half way point of his show and my mouth was aching horrendously from laughing, and we even met him afterwards!

So, thank you Samantha. You have managed to bring proper recognition, within AUT at least, to a long deserving comedian.

Regards, Leah.

Dear Sincerely,

Your article in the recent Debate made me smile.

How can you expect Mr Robertshaw and kie to provide us with a nice and decent café? We are only fools in this play! All though we pay the same fees as students in the city. He will come again with his arguments that we have much more outlets than the students in the city and we can discuss our issues any time with him.

Do you see any AUT staff having their meals on Campus? Heck no. My mum works here and she and a few other staff have been sick more than once of the greasy, oily, old food and now are car

Alicia Mar’ee Burrows Untitled

This Week (May 30 - June 3) MONDAY

WEDNESDAY

TUESDAY This week @Free Feeds Sausages + falafel + fruit

12pm Free Feed

12pm Free Feed Manukau Campus

North Shore Campus Awataha Plaza

6-8pm Free pool Vesbar

6.

ALL DAY Fish & Chips + beer $8 Vesbar

30

6pm Tui Pub Quiz Vesbar

31

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

12pm Free Feed City Campus HIkuwai Plaza

12-1 Pool Competiton FINALS@Vesbar

JUNE1

DJ from 5.30pm at Vesbar + drink specials all day

after 4pm

RTD’s $4.50 Beer $4 @Vesbar on Facebook3 issue 12 2011

2

More AuSM events at www.ausm.org.nz

Join ausm1

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issue 12 2011

a) Fonterra b) Vodafone c) Air New Zealand d) AMI Insurance 2. Novak Djokovic will replace Rafael Nadal as the world number one in tennis if he reaches what stage of Roland Garros? a) b) c) d)

Quarter-finals Semi-finals Finals He has to win the tournament

3. What is the name of Zach Galifianakis’ character in The Hangover Part II? a) Stu b) Phil c) Alan d) Doug 4. Social networking company Twitter bought which company last week for an estimated price of $40-50 million? a) Twitbird b) Tweetdeck c) Hootsuite d) Echofon

5. Which of the following is the Italian translation for exams?

9. Which sport does American athlete Dwyane Wade excel at?

a) Examens b) ExĂĄmenes c) Esami d) Eksamener

a) Basketball b) Baseball c) American Football d) 100m sprints

6. In what year was Casablanca, starring Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman, released in theatres?

10. Which city and state was ravaged with a tornado last week, which killed more than 120 people?

a) b) c) d)

1939 1940 1941 1942

a) b) c) d)

Charlotte, North Carolina Joplin, Missouri Dillon, Texas New Haven, Connecticut

7. Which country banned Marmite last week because of added vitamins? a) b) c) d)

Denmark Norway London Spain

8. How old is actress Kirstie Alley? a) b) c) d)

49 54 58 60

Answers: a, c, c, b, c, d, a, d, a, b

1. Which company donated $1 million towards the fundraising of the recent telethon for Christchurch, held on May 22?

Students biggest losers in 2011’s trimmed Budget

by Jessica Beresford

Students were given the short end of the stick in the recent Budget which will see massive funding cuts to tertiary education.

The government plans to decrease overall funding in tertiary education from $4.6 billion in 2010 to $4.1 billion by 2015.

The New Zealand Universities Student Association (NZUSA) is disappointed and says many students will be shut out of tertiary education with the short-sighted Budget.

NZUSA co-president David Do says the government has failed to tackle the real issues facing students and hasn’t showed any commitment to properly investing in New Zealand education.

“This is something that students really need to be worried about,” he says.

The Budget includes freezing the student loan repayment threshold until April 2015, which means graduates who go into the workplace have to pay back their student loans as soon as they have a salary over $19,084. The Australian repayment threshold is $44,912.

Also included is the removal of course-related costs for part-time full-year students, which students rely on to help pay for text books, uniforms, supplies and materials.

Do says this is unfair to these students because although they are only studying part-time, this doesn’t meant they can afford to pay extra money for the equipment they need to help study.

Students over the age of 55 who want to study can no longer get living or course-related costs either, which NZUSA co-president Max Hardy

Microsoft criticises Playstation freebies

by Vaughan Alderson Microsoft marketing manager Anne Taylor has criticised Sony for giving away free games to its PlayStation3 customers in response to an online service failure, calling it a “weak attempt at damage control”.

After the PlayStation Network (PSN) was attacked by hackers and brought offline last month the service remained unavailable for four weeks until mid-May. PlayStation’s online network lets users play multi-player games via the internet, browse the web and buy and download PlayStation games.

As a consolation Sony is offering its customers a free “welcome back” package containing 30 days free access to the premium online membership PSN Plus, and the ability to download two free games from the PlayStation online store.

Taylor, who markets the Xbox360, Microsoft’s rival gaming console, says this is not enough to compensate PlayStation3 customers.

“It doesn’t feel like enough has been done to resolve the situation.

These people had their personal information, their credit card details potentially exposed. Throwing a free game or two at them will not regain consumer trust,” says Taylor.

Sony previously admitted the security breach risked the personal information of 77 million PlayStation3 owners, over 235,000 of whom were New Zealanders.

10.

However no reports of stolen credit card information have been reported since the breach.

Consumer marketing manager for Sony Matt Smith says PlayStation3 owners have been very understanding and will appreciate the gesture.

“We just want to thank customers for being patient with us and give them something for that patience. I think most people can respect that,” says Smith.

Smith also noted that Microsoft’s Xbox has recently been given away for free with computer purchases to students, likely as an attempt to win over any disgruntled PlayStation3 owners.

Playstation 3 online services have since returned to full functionality with improved security measures in place on the new servers.

Sony estimates the PSN service outage will cost the company more than US$170 million.

Six game choices are available for download from the PlayStation online store: LittleBigPlanet, inFamous, Wipeout HD, Ratchet and Clank: Quest for Booty and Dead Nation.

Users of Sony’s handheld gaming console, the PSP, also have the option to download two free games.

The options include: LittleBigPlanet, ModNation Racers, Pursuit Force and Killzone Liberation.

says is discriminating against age, and makes it harder for older students to retrain and gain new skills.

Green MP Gareth Hughes says students are the big losers in this Budget.

He says instead of cutting course related costs, the government should be raising funding in line with inflation.

Course-related costs allow for students to get $1000, which was set in 1992.

Hughes says due to inflation, students should be getting $1500 to compensate for the higher living costs of today.

Do says this is another example of the government making self-defeating cuts, which isn’t good enough when it comes to the future of this country.

Caffeine and Chocolate Lovers Unite for Fairtrade

by Rosie Tuck Oxfam’s Fairtrade awareness campaign has united coffee and chocolate lovers wanting to arouse their social awareness as well as satisfy their palate.

This year 40,000 New Zealanders participated in Oxfam’s Biggest Coffee Break to date, a collaboration with Fairtrade Fortnight which ran from May 7-22.

Oxfam spokesperson Olivia Lynch says the event aims to raise awareness about Fairtrade, plus money for Oxfam’s work towards eliminating poverty.

Lynch says the money raised from this year’s event is going to a program in East Timor which helps farms become Fairtrade certified.

“Being Fairtrade certified helps farmers to improve their economic and social position and means they can get $1.30 for their beans instead of 15 cents, which is quite an improvement.”

Coffee Break hosts registered with Oxfam and then were sent free Fairtrade Whittaker’s chocolate, Caffe L’affare coffee and Kokako drinking chocolate as well as Fairtrade information.

AUT student Perlina Lau ran a “Coffee Break” with some friends and says now she would choose the Fairtrade option as she knows more.

“Doing the coffee break and enjoying coffee and chocolate in your own home was really appealing.”

Lynch says when companies like Whittaker’s and Cadbury see the demand for Fairtrade products they will introduce more options into their ranges.

Currently Whittaker’s and Cadbury have one option in this category.

“It’s not more expensive and it’s a simple easy decision one person can make, that has a great impact for individuals in the developing world,” Lynch said.

Vector Arena, Kiwibank , AUT University, TVNZ, Vero Insurance , Telstra Clear and numerous city councils around the country were just some of the organisations that took part in Oxfam’s Biggest Coffee Break.

Oxfam New Zealand’s executive director Barry Coates says Fairtrade sales in New Zealand have dramatically increased each year.

“It’s been inspiring and encouraging to see the support that Kiwis have shown Fairtrade.

“We can make change one cup at a time.”

Last year 20,000 New Zealanders participated in Coffee Breaks around the country.

issue 12 2011

by Alicia Crocket

Serves: 5 Dairy free, Gluten free if use GF stock Cost per serve: $2.36

When the weather gets cold, all I want to do is eat casseroles and soups.

Lemon and rosemary is one of my favourite combinations, particularly on roast veges! Rosemary and lemon must be the cheapest flavourings you can get because so many people have them in their gardens. Have a wander around your neighbourhood and you might just find a nice neighbour that will let you take a lemon or two off their tree or some rosemary. This recipe came from the recipe book I got with my slow cooker/crockpot but it can be done just as easily in a casserole dish in the oven or on the stovetop. Feel free to use chicken pieces or boneless chicken. If you’re using boneless chicken it might be best to cook it on the stovetop for about 20 minutes.

Ingredients 1 Tbsp oil 3 cloves OR 3 tsps minced garlic 800g chicken pieces OR 400g boneless meat, skin removed 2 cups of winter veges (mushrooms, leeks, carrots, pumpkin etc) ¾ cup chicken or vege stock 3 Tbsp lemon juice (about 1 lemon) 1 tsp lemon rind 2 Tbsps chopped rosemary (or 1 tsp dried rosemary) ½ cup white wine (optional) ¼ tsp minced chilli or chilli powder (optional) Directions 1. Preheat the oven to 180°C if you are using the oven 2. Heat oil in a fry pan and sauté garlic and vegetables 3. Remove vegetables from pan and put aside to use later 4. Brown chicken in fry pan 5. Place all ingredients into your casserole dish or back into your fry pan 6. Cook for 45 minutes in the oven or covered in the fry pan if you are using pieces with bone, or 15-20 minutes if you are using boneless chicken.

7. Serve with mashed potato, roasted vegetables or rice.

www.ausm.org.nz

by Ashleigh Muir

Serves: 5

Need a simple recipe to wow guests or take to a bring-a-plate event? These are perfect and so delicious! Alternatively fill with caramel and top with milk chocolate.

Ingredients Base 1 cup plain flour 90g butter ¼ cup of sugar Filling 2 cups frozen raspberries ½ cup sugar ½ cup water ¼ tsp gelatine Directions Base 1. Process until mixture comes together 2. Press into a greased mini-muffin tin 3. Bake at 150° for 10 minutes 4. Let cool and remove from tin Filling 1. Purée raspberries 2. Place sugar and water in saucepan and bring to boil 3. Simmer for five minutes 4. Add gelatine and raspberries and simmer for another three minutes 5. Cool to finish 1. Melt down white chocolate 2. Put a small layer on the bottom of the tart base 3. Spoon cold raspberry mixture into tart bases 4. Drizzle with white chocolate and serve

11.

by Jonathan Camp

F1 Spanish Grand Prix

V8 Supercars: Winton Motor Raceway

To recap the 2011 Formula 1 season thus far, it has been absolutely dominated by reigning world champion Sebastian Vettel, who looked all but invincible until the Chinese Grand Prix (GP), where Lewis Hamilton broke his winning streak. However, by the Turkish GP Vettel bounced back to his winning ways again. The Red Bulls were obviously tipped as favourites going into the Spanish GP, where the only threat to their stranglehold coming from McLaren Mercedes. Surprisingly, Ferrari has barely even bothered the top order so far. Alonso was crowd favourite, hoping to turn around his season with a win on home soil.

The practice sessions were predictably dominated by Red Bull and McLaren Mercedes, although Alonso popped up near the top as did Rosberg and Schumacher. In practice three, Nick Heidfield had a scare with his car catching fire while he was putting in some laps, which required a hasty exit from the cockpit. In qualifying, Webber grabbed pole position with the only lap in the 1.20s, beating his lightning-quick German team mate.

The Grand Prix began with Alonso, from the dirty side of the grid, blitzing Webber and Vettel off the start and charging his way to the lead into the first corner. You could literally hear the cheers of his adoring fans over the deafening chorus of Formula 1 engines. On lap 10, Vettel pit for a fresh set of option tyres and came out amongst traffic and through dogged determination overtook his way to the rear wing of Alonso.

Hamilton was in the hunt for the lead as well, sticking to the tail of Vettel.

The majority of the field were on a four-stop strategy much like in the Turkish GP. Pirelli had developed the hard tyre to last longer but this came at the price of slower lap speed. Alonso paid the price for putting on new tyres early in the race - it left him with used tyres that wouldn’t last to the end, thus his pace suffered. Kovalainen, on lap 51, crashed his Lotus into the tyre wall past the sand trap on turn four. Vettel had problems with his KERS as Hamilton took the challenge to him in the last 10 laps of the race.

McLaren looked much better in the late stages of the race compared to Vettel having to ring the neck of his Red Bull to keep ahead of Hamilton.

Massa struggled and by lap 61 overshot a corner and beached his car in the sand. Vettel had better speed through the high speed corners in the second sector which kept him ahead of Hamilton who made up the gap using KERS on the front straight. Hamilton pushed him hard to the end, where Vettel crossed the line a mere 0.6 seconds ahead. Jenson Button rounded out the podium in third place. Overall, it seems that McLaren are the only team that are taking it to the Red Bulls, so it will be intriguing to see whether Red Bull can maintain their relentless grip on the world title towards the end of the season.

Last month (April) Shane van Gisbergen gained his first V8 Supercar race win, which he achieved on home soil much to the jubilation of the home crowd. The Kiwi hero celebrated with the best burnouts you’ll see, being the first Kiwi victorious at Hamilton. He went on to back up his results with three top 10 finishes at Perth, elevating him to fourth in the championship. The series continued to the round at Winton in rural Victoria on May 20-22. The tight and twisty 3km track posed a real challenge for all 28 V8 supercars to put in a flying lap in the short 20 minute qualifying session. Caruso and Reynolds showed good pace in the practice sessions, but were outgunned by Team Vodafone, with Whincup taking pole, and Steven Johnson for DJR taking the next spot on the front row.

Saturday’s 40 lap race began with Lowndes bogged down off the start whilst Johnson snatched the lead into turn one. Van Gisbergen tangled with the back of the pack into the first corner which cost him time in the pits for repairs to the #9 Falcon. Johnson lost the lead to Whincup in the pit stops for tyres and fuel, effectively losing four seconds to Team Vodafone. Van Gisbergen battled his way to 14th position and had an exciting battle with Steve Owen in the closing stages of the race.

Lowndes struggled massively with his tyres towards the end, with a few off track excursions as a result. As Bright and Tander scrapped for sixth place, Alex Davison spectacularly passed both of them into turn three. In the end, Whincup took his 47th race win, just one short of Peter Brock and Garth Tander’s record. Holdsworth and Johnson drag raced each other to the line; Holdsworth claiming second place by a few hundredths of a second.

On Sunday another short, intense 20 minute qualifier ended with Winterbottom on pole. Murphy was exempted for not using the control wheel on his car which had him fired up. The longer, 67 lap race consisted of a clean first lap, where Winterbottom sprinted away from Whincup. On lap three there was hard crunch between a spun Will Davison, Todd Kelly, Russell Ingall and Jason Bargwanna. James Courtney got caught up in the mid-pack shenanigans and came worse off with a broken steering arm that put him into the pits, coming out seven laps down. Whincup was relentless in chasing Winterbottom down, and made the pass on lap 12. Bright and Tander showed a lot of pace, with Tander hounding the back of Whincup and took the lead by the half way point. Whincup went into the pits glued to the back of Tander, but left pit lane with the lead thanks to a speedy pit stop by the Team Vodafone crew. Murph made an incredible effort to pull his way from last on the grid to 11th. The last eight laps were the most thrilling of the whole race. Dark, ominous clouds threatened to pour down and Jason Bright was nearly two seconds faster per lap than the top five cars, as he fought and took each place one by one. He authoritatively grabbed the lead off Whincup in the 65th lap, gaining a second win of the season for himself and BJR.

12.

issue 12 2011

sit up

by Les Tuilaepa You might not believe it, but there is a powerful relationship between physical activity and success in your studies. Physical activity will make you feel better which will make you study harder and think better in your exams. Physical activity is moving your body a bit more vigorously than normal to the point where you break a sweat. You don’t need a lot of money or fancy equipment to be physically active all you need is some space and the motivation to get into it.

A great starting point for those on Wellesley Street campus is Albert Park, you can do sprint work up the hills and steps, go for a walk or a jog, or if you’re really keen you can find a boot camp to participate in. There are also running clubs you can join that will give you a group of people to run with each week to help motivate you. AUT has a running club organised through the city gym, but you don’t have to be a member to join in on the fun!

If you’d rather take a break from your study inside, you can use body weight exercises to take a break from the books.

Possible exercises are: body weight squats, push-ups, sit ups, lunges and skipping. Your routine is only limited by your imagination, but one possibility is to have a 20 minute time limit and do as many rounds as possible. One round is equal to five push-ups, 10 body weight squats and 15 sit ups. Rest only when you need to, otherwise it’s a non-stop workout for the full 20 minutes. Try writing down how many rounds you get through and then try and improve your score.

There are all sorts of options for exercise if you’re a member of a gym. Most gyms offer consults so you can get someone to write you a plan and help you with your technique. If group exercise is your thing you can do an aerobics class to take a break and invigorate you for your next lot of study. If you happen to be a member of the AUT gyms, you can access stadium space on the North Shore as well as some basic equipment like basketballs so you can shoot some hoops for half an hour before getting back to your study.

There are plenty of ways you can structure in some physical activity to help you study. Taking your mind of your books for 30 minutes may seem like a silly idea in the short term when you’re trying to memorise a semesters worth of work.

However, in the long term you’ll focus better on your study and in your exam if you take time out for you and your brain!

push up

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13.

Veronica Ng Lam AuSM President 921 9999 ext 8571

veronica.nglam@aut.ac.nz Greetings my fellow AUT Titans, As crappy and yucky as the weather is, I greet you in high spirits and in pure stress for the week has surely become extremely intense with all the assignments, the deadlines, the group projects and presentations coming at us from every corner. Life as a student is really difficult; we are the only group in society made to borrow to live by the government and then many of us hold part time/full time jobs and have other extracurricular activities and commitments that we are involved in. Many of us have family responsibilities as well as just trying to live! Sometimes these factors in life can seem a little too much and with the added pressure of uni life it is normal to feel overwhelmed, stressed and anxious. YOU ARE NOT ALONE - you only need to visit the library to know we all are in the same boat, all

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struggling to reach that goal and all doing it the best way we know how. Don’t forget that the university offers a lot of help for students whose lives might not be so easy. Student services provide a range of services that can support just about any insecurity or need you might have. Here at AuSM we offer advocacy and welfare so if any of you feel that you have been mistreated by any AUT staff, or there has been any unfair marking of your assessments then our doors are always open for you...it is what we are here for. :) As campus life morphs into the dull hustle and bustle of students studying form exams, students running to assignment boxes to hand things in before the haunting box closes and the constant chain smoking to ease the stress, I would like for you to consider that the end is near. We are three weeks away from getting our semester break and a well deserved break I must add, so keep you head up, keep your eye on the prize and persevere. The AuSM free feeds are still going so don’t miss out!

Lastly, the AUT strategic plan is now on its way to becoming a draft and some of you have been heavily involved in sharing your thoughts and views and taking time out to enlighten AUT with your ideas and opinions - thank you to those of you who have. We will be calling for your final thoughts when the draft does come out so make sure you get involved and remember that this is your opportunity to affect change and ensure that AUT becomes the university that WE want it to be and a place that we are all proud to be associated with!

I will see you here next week, same time, same place. Good luck with all the studying and remember “paralyse resistance with PERSISTENCE”.

Signing off, your fellow president in solidarity and peace - ia manuia

Veronica

AuSM exists to enhance your experience at AUT with support services, events, representation and information.

Keep in touch with us through our media and communication channels. You may be missing out on crucial information, opportunities and, most importantly, free stuff if you don’t.

E-Newsletter: Unless you have unsubscribed, you will automatically receive an AuSM newsletter every month. Check your junk mail if you have never seen one. The newsletter is a key communication tool for us in promoting our AuSM movie screenings, exclusive competitions, free lunches and other VIP invitations.

Hopefully at least one of these methods appeals to you. Please check them out if you haven’t already and make the most of the FREE AuSM services available to you.

Student diary and wallplanner: If you haven’t picked one up they are available at any AuSM office. Our diary consistently ranks as the service students are most satisfied with so check it out.

Our annual exam de-stress week is coming up. This year we are focussing on refuelling you with food Social media: Join our @ausm1 community and refreshments during the busy study period. So on Facebook and Twitter to find out the make sure you check notice boards on your campus latest happenings around AuSM plus photos, for dates, times and places. competitions, breaking news and other cool stuff.

Entertainment Books are flying out the door now WE are almost at 1,000 followers on Twitter and that the 10/11 version has expired. Purchase your will be throwing out some great prizes once we hit 11/12 book from any AuSM office. The money we the milestone. raise will be used towards funding student sports, events and services.

Website: The AuSM website is updated DAILY with the latest information, news, events, Calling all students who use WT Building: competitions, classifieds, student discounts We need your feedback on WT. What do you think and more. You will also find contact info for all of it? Tell us what you like and what you don’t like.

AuSM staff and exec as well as electronic version of We want to hear from you so that we can help get debate. Our site also has a booking engine for the facilities improved for you. Email rebecca.little@aut.

AuSM lodge. ac.nz with your compliments and complaints.

In other AuSM news...

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I’ve been meaning to write in to debate for a while. When I say a while, I mean since the beginning of semester one. The fact that I am here several months later is a tribute to that wonderful thing we call procrastination – but that’s another subject.

Something has been bothering me lately. It’s one of those insidious little frustrations that starts somewhere deep in your subconscious, then slowly worms its way through all the mental reminders about assignments and text books. Finally it sits at the front of your mind and is annoying you so much that you have to share it with the world. My frustration was summarised nicely in debate by Jess Etheridge a couple of weeks ago and I’d like to add my two cents worth to what she had to say.

I’m talking about the way some of my (dearly beloved) fellow students misuse the word “gay”.

Ok, so being straight up here, I’m gay, meaning that whatever I write will come from a biased point of view. But I’m sure I’m not the only one who is frustrated by the frequency with which the phrase “that’s so gay” is used around campus.

I’ve raised this with several people who I’ve heard saying it. They often make the argument that the definition of “gay” as a negative adjective has an entirely separate meaning to the one with which I identify (i.e. “homosexual”). They claim I shouldn’t take it personally, as no offence is intended. I disagree.

Imagine if we were to replace the word “gay” in the phrase with that of another minority. Imagine if people were to exclaim in frustration “that’s so Asian” or “that’s so disabled”. It wouldn’t be cool. Because no matter how much we claim that we’re using the word in a different context, the fact remains we are using a reference that is part of someone’s identity to describe something in a negative context. And identity is what it’s about.

Let’s take this to a more personal level. Imagine your name is Darren. Now let’s imagine that you hear your name every time something negative is being described.

Say it starts raining and you overhear this conversation while waiting outside your lecture room.

Student one: “It’s raining.”

Student two: “That’s so Darren!”

Darren: “Did someone say my name?”

Student one: “Nah, we were just talking about the rain.”

Student two: “No offence.”

Darren: “Oh…” Yeah, that’s kind of hurtful to Darren. But why? It’s not like they were actually referring to him, so why would he be upset?

by Craig Hoyle

by Nicole Brown

It is a bit of an opposing statement to say that the death penalty is carried out in the name of ‘justice’. This action violates the right to life as stated in the Declaration of Human Rights – which applies world wide. Despite this, many people aren’t aware how committed some countries are to this cold-blooded practice.

Just as recently as last year, 23 countries carried out the death penalty, most of them being recognised superpowers of the world. China was in the thousands.

Needless to say, there are many different takes on this controversial subject and everyone is entitled to their opinion, but who stops to think about the real issues here? Without definite evidence to condemn an offender, how can we ever be sure that they are guilty? An Amnesty International study found that in 2009 in the USA, nine inmates of death row were exonerated and freed due to evidence that secured their innocence. Between them they had served 121 years on death row and in high security prisons. This shows that despite apparent judicial unbiased ruling and multiple analysis www.ausm.org.nz

of evidence, even the most prestigious courts of law can get it wrong. Life is a big price to pay and had these people been executed and then found innocent, their lives would be on the hands of those court members responsible.

Another major flaw of the death penalty is in the form of rehabilitation. It would be pretty tricky for someone to change ways and reform their life if they are dead. When the victim is already deceased, they can not be revived and therefore what use is killing another person to try and ‘fix’ it? Various studies have found that the majority of murders are committed when the killer is not thinking rationally so shouldn’t they be given the chance to think about what they have done and be given an opportunity to ameliorate their thinking?

Who are we to decide the fate of another human being? Despite having a somewhat religious background, I wouldn’t take religion into consideration for this one. No one is of any authority to decide who dies in this world. And as for those who do feel like playing God, what is an offence so great that the only necessary

solution is death? There are countries out there where these crimes range from drug-related offences to economic crime and in some cases, blasphemy. By executing these offenders based on these charges, the countries in question are directly violating Human Rights Law. Then there is the minimum age requirement.

Not that we’re dealing with theme park rides here, but surely despite your view on this matter, you wouldn’t say it’s alright for someone under 18 years to be executed? In 2010, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Pakistan and the United Arab Emirates all seemed to disagree with this and imposed death sentences on offenders less than 18 years at the time of their offence.

I could go on to detail all the horrible and inhumane methods of execution but let’s be honest, this stuff isn’t exactly light-hearted and uni is depressing enough. If you’re still on the other side of the fence though, hopefully this has planted a seed. Awareness is the best solution and the UN is consistently striving to do this every year. Maybe in the future we’ll see the day when the only decider of fate is the universe.

15.

The massacre of the Syrian regime

by Tasneem Kalbon

Have you ever heard of a president that receives 99.9 per cent of the nation’s votes? Have you heard of a person unable to set foot in their own country due to false accusations? I hereby introduce you to the reality of thousands of Syrians that fled their country in the 80s after the failed Hama revolution which ended the lives hen I asked some of my friends if of over 42,000 people, and who until February they know where Syria is they told 4 could not dream of returning for fear of losing me it is a city in Europe, because isn’t their lives. I also want to introduce you to Bashar that where all unknown countries are? Some of Al-assad and his brutal regime that ended the you might be wondering where the hell Syria lives of 2300 freedom protestors in the past 10 is, if it’s not neighbouring London or Spain? weeks, murdering innocent women, children Well, Syria is located next to Turkey and Iraq and persecuting innocent civilians and political and is as ancient as Egypt. It’s smaller than New protestors who dare ask for freedom from this Zealand geographically but Syria’s population in oppression. Syrians have been tortured and killed 2009 was more than 21 million. Of course that’s by the vicious regime for the crime of demanding before the Syrian revolution began this year; that back the basic rights they lost 48 years ago. population has decreased by at least 2300 and The Syrian revolution officially began on that only includes reported deaths. Hundreds, February 4 after innocent 12-year-old kids were if not thousands, more have died since February captured for writing “the people want to bring and the death toll is still rising. Let me get to the down the regime” on their school boards. They point of this article: the Syrian Revolution. Some were persecuted by security forces and taken of you might not have heard anything about to jail where they received the most inhumane what’s happening in Syria for the past 10 weeks torturing methods, fingernails being pulled and those who know a little, only know what is off, severally beaten, burnt with cigarettes, shown for two seconds on TV.

W

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frightened to death. Their parents had no knowledge of their whereabouts or why they received such severe punishment. A child from the small city of Daraa was abducted from school and taken to jail where he was tormented only to be brought back to his parents, taunting them with the state he was left in. What could be worse than this you may be wondering? Children in New Zealand play in play grounds, while children in Syria tremble in jails.

If you’re wondering why you haven’t heard about this before, it’s because the Syrian government is not allowing foreign media inside of Syria. This is because they want the outside world to believe nothing is happening and that all this chaos is caused by “armed gangs”. Let me clarify something: all protestors are freedom seekers and peaceful protestors; there is no such thing as ‘armed gangs’. The government also wants to keep people in the dark because that’s the kind of regime carried out by Bashar Al-Assad. British journalist Martin Fletcher was able to enter Syria after he posed as a tourist, however he was captured and taken to a secret detention centre where he was interrogated. After convincing security forces he was just a history teacher he was released. He spoke about the people who were brought in for interrogation while he was there. “I was held for about six hours and all during this time young men were being brought in. Some were literally whimpering with fear, others were defiant”. He also talked about the signs of torture that were evident on these young men and explained that the Syrian regime is unlike the regime in Libya or Egypt, as in Syria the government and the military are united, which only makes it worse on the anti-government protestors.

Syrian mothers are just like other mothers; they have dreams for their children, they want them to be happy, they want them to be free, they want to see them succeed, but most importantly, they want to see them grow old. How different is that to every other mother in the world? But instead some mothers don’t even know where their children are, or even if they’re dead or alive. Imagine sitting peacefully in your home when suddenly a group of armed policemen enter your house, steal your gold and money, arrest your children, destroy your house and leave? That is the reality of Syria right now. Mothers in New Zealand can take their kids to school, whereas mothers in Syria are afraid their kids will be abducted without their knowledge. Mothers in New Zealand wake up and pour milk for their kids in the morning. Mothers in Syria are having sleepless nights, worrying to death how they’re going to feed their toddlers. Bashar has banned selling baby milk in the markets to pressure anti-government protestors by starving their kids. Wheat, water and rice are also some of the highly illegalised items in Syria, overpowering cocaine, weed or marijuana.

The number of murders on Bashar’s hands is increasing on a daily basis, not to mention the number of injured protestors who are left to bleed to death. The regime has found a way to deal with these bodies since hospitals have strict orders not to help the wounded.

Instead they are taken by security forces and dumped in mass graves, dead or alive. I heard about the mass graves two weeks ago and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! I always knew that the Al-Assad regime was the worst there could be, but dumping people in graves alive sickened me to death! But it only proves how inhumane his regime is. Does this sound like a government ruled by humankind? Soldiers are meant to honour and protect the Syrian nation, but instead they are given permission to persecute fathers, rape mothers and tear families apart.

Daraa, the city I mentioned earlier, has been sealed off for over five weeks, meaning no one is allowed to enter or leave, because they are demanding the basic right of freedom!

They are starving and yet no food is given to them. Last week their water containers were contaminated by high dosages of chlorine to poison protestors and their families so they would be pressured to stop fighting for their rights.

The last thing I would like to discuss is the issues of cell phones in Syria. They are considered the most dangerous weapon. Yes, cell phones. If a person is seen holding their

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cell phone on the street, security forces have received strict orders to shoot them. This is because the people of Syria have been using their cell phones to communicate with the outside world by sending videos, photos and updates to Facebook pages dedicated to the Syrian revolution so that people would see what is really happening inside. I have seen some of these videos and shocking wouldn’t begin to describe them*. Peaceful protestors are attacked and severely beaten, and some of course are shot. People buried in mass graves, children tortured and killed, young children and men persecuted, water containers shot at so the people are left to die of thirst, food being banned from markets to starve antigovernment protestors, people being run over by tanks. You name it, they’ve done it!

My friend went to Syria late last year and for the past three weeks hasn’t been receiving ANY messages or calls from any country outside of Syria. Bashar has ordered all networks to disable any sort of communication from the outside world since people have been ruining his diabolical plan by sending videos and pictures. Of course the same goes to internet service providers; they have disabled people’s connections to ensure that no one can upload these through their computers as well. The only way people have been uploading videos and pictures is through 3G – amen to technology!

Some take freedom for granted here in New Zealand, choosing not to vote during elections just because they can, while Syrian people are sacrificing their lives for the dream that one day they will be able to have these simple rights. The right for their freedom of speech, the right to elect the president they wish to lead them, the right for their votes to be counted (not changed), the right to humanity and the right to dream. It is our responsibility to stand up against this appalling government and help spread the truth by joining the Facebook page ‘The Syrian days of rage – English’ which is where all the truth is projected, and also by informing everyone who believes in freedom about what’s really been happening to those innocent protestors in Syria. *Warning: some of these videos are disturbing, brutal and bloody.

17.

by Alisha Lewis

F

or many people, imagining a world without meat is like imagining a world without music or beer or sunshine. There would be no $2 sausage sizzles outside The Warehouse, no Sunday roasts and worst of all (or possibly best of all) no KFC double down.

For meat lovers, facing a world void of meat would be equivalent to encountering some kind of apocalyptic event. It would signal the end of the world, the second coming of Christ and everything else that Harold Camping guy has been raving about.

Yes, for many, a world without meat would be a scary thing. But for some people, it’s a way of life.

Vegans and vegetarians choose – for personal or religious reasons – not to eat meat and, in some cases, animal products of any kind (such as cheese, eggs etc). For a long time, people looked at vegetarians and vegans as being weird or crazy for avoiding meat.

Why nibble away at that salad when you could sink your teeth into a juicy steak or take a bite of that Big Mac? The carnivores amongst us roar in disapproval.

But it’s not as simple as that.

Vegans and vegetarians aren’t all carrot nibbling, grass eating, health-food-obsessed nuts like they’re made out to be. This is just one of the many stereotypes that have developed over the years and as a result, many vegans/vegetarians have felt stigmatised because of their food and lifestyle choices.

People tend to think that vegetarians are self-righteous and enjoy preaching about their decision to avoid meat. This definitely isn’t true – with vegetarianism growing in popularity, many of us will know people who follow a vegetarian or vegan diet. Some of us may not even realise they are vegetarian. Either way, it’s rare for a vegetarian or vegan to try and ‘convert’ someone. Just like you wouldn’t expect your Muslim or Christian friend to try and make you feel bad about your own religious stance (or lack thereof). It’s just not done – people know that. And while there may be some exceptions to the rule, it’s generally more common for non-vegetarians to make flippant comments about how they ‘could never live without meat’.

Another myth that’s built up around the whole vegan/vegetarian lifestyle is that they’re all radicals – they march in protests against slaughterhouses and throw red paint at people wearing fur coats.

Granted, there are always going to be radical people out there, but vegetarians aren’t all spawns of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). In fact, for many people, the choice to avoid meat may have nothing to do with taking a stance against animal cruelty. For some it may be a general lifestyle choice while for others it is religion based. And some people just don’t like meat.

The most common assumption, that vegetarians and vegans are all health freaks, is also untrue.

Sure some of them might be health conscious, but the same stands for people who eat meat. Many non-vegetarians choose the option of eating only lean meat and avoid fatty meat. Many also love fruits and vegetables as much as any vegetarian.

More so, vegetarians aren’t condemned to a life of celery sticks and ‘tofurkey’ (Tofu turkey -

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Sir Paul McCartney and Russell Brand. In fact, Natalie Portman and Sir Paul McCartney even lent their names to PETA to help promote vegetarianism in the United States.

“I am a very strict vegetarian…I just really, really love animals, and I act on my values. I am really against cruelty [to] animals,” said Portman.

Meanwhile, Sir Paul McCartney has an even more extreme take on the benefits of going vegetarian, saying, “If anyone wants to save the planet, all they have to do is stop eating meat”.

With endorsements from Grammy and Oscar winners, it’s no surprise that vegetarian lifestyles have been becoming an increasingly Vegetarian popular option.

The term vegetarian is a blanket term used to Perhaps as a result of these celebrity describe a person who doesn’t eat meat, poultry, influences, or as a result of growing fish or seafood. environmental awareness or merely due to However, the term also covers a number of evolving personal preferences, more young sub categories, including vegans and people people choosing to become vegetarian. who have varying dietary restrictions.

A 2005 poll showed that three per cent of Americans aged 8-18 were vegetarians. The Vegan figure was one per cent up from a previous poll.

Vegans make up the strictest sub-category Auckland student Lucy Aukafolau decided to of vegetarians. Vegans don’t eat any animal become a vegetarian at age 14, simply because products or by-products. This means they she didn’t enjoy eating meat. don’t consume cheese, milk, eggs etc. Some “I didn’t like meat a whole lot and I just even go as far as avoiding things like honey wanted a change, so I went cold turkey with and yeast. Many also don’t wear clothing made it. It wasn’t hard. It was more difficult finding from animal products such as leather, fur, silk meals to eat with everyone else, especially when and wool.

I went out.”

Many people in the world are vegetarian on Semi-vegetarian other grounds however – a key reason being Semi-vegetarians eat all dairy products, eggs, religion. chicken and fish but never eat any other animal Religions that practise or endorse meat (such as pork, beef, mutton etc.). vegetarianism include Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism. In India, a county of 1.21 billion Ovo-lacto-vegetarian Ovo-lacto-vegetarians are people who don’t eat people, over 40 per cent of the population is vegetarian, most likely due to its large portion red meat, white meat or meat of any kind but of Hindu citizens. And in other nations, do consume eggs and milk. This is the most vegetarianism is also on the rise. common type of vegetarian.

A 2006 survey conducted by Roy Morgan Research showed that 9.1 per cent of Australians Ovo-vegetarian surveyed said “the food I eat is all, or almost, This person would be a vegan if they didn’t vegetarian”. This is a huge increase from a eat eggs.

1995 poll which showed only 3.5 per cent of Australians claiming to be vegetarian.

Lacto-vegetarian Many nutrition experts say they’ve seen This person would be a vegan if they didn’t changes in the dietary landscape over the past consume milk. five to 10 years that indicates vegetarianism is becoming more popular. This may be due to the The differences between the sub categories fact that there are now more dietary options may not seem to be major – but to the people out there for vegetarians. It’s become a lot easier belonging to each category, they are a big deal. to find vegetarian staples like soy milk, meatEach distinction represents a dietary or ethical free broths and veggie burgers in mainstream decision. supermarkets.

Not many people know that there are so While vegetarians enjoy many benefits of their many variations of vegetarianism – in fact, lifestyle, such as lower risk to certain cancers most people don’t know much about it at all. and lower cholesterol levels, there are also This is pretty understandable, seeing as for the downsides. Vegetarians can suffer from lack of majority of the western world meat eating is iron and zinc, and some become anaemic. Of not only the norm but is often even culturally course, nowadays there’s the option of taking encouraged. supplements to make up for this.

Lately however, some famous names have Generally, vegetarianism is based on a wellbeen bringing vegetarianism and veganism thought out, personal choice - for ethical into the world spotlight. Celebrities have reasons or otherwise. been taking on the cause by speaking out for As a self-professed carnivore though, I don’t vegetarianism and against animal exploitation. think I’m going to be switching my chicken sub Prominent celebrity vegetarians and vegans for a tofurkey sandwich anytime soon. include Leona Lewis, Natalie Portman, Ellen DeGeneres, Alec Baldwin, Milo Ventimiglia, sounds appetising right?) A vegetarian diet can include french fries, cheese pizzas and deep fried vegetables or mozzarella balls. There are plenty of not-so-healthy options out there for vegetarians and as a result, they can be unhealthy and overweight, just like everyone else.

They’re not all fitness fanatics either.

Vegetarians are just as prone to despising the treadmill or having a gym membership they never use. The only fundamental difference that rings true is that they don’t eat any meat.

Actually, even that isn’t entirely true – because there are different types of vegetarians:

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Positives of vegetarianism

- Vegetarian diets are high in: Vitamin C, fibre and folate.

- With proper dietary planning, you can obtain all essential nutrients through a completely plan-based diet.

- Vegetarian diets are typically lower in normal fats, saturated fat and cholesterol.

- Vegetarians tend to have less risk of cancer, obesity, high cholesterol, clogged arteries and hypertension.

Negatives of vegetarianism

- Lacking in vitamin B12 and vitamin D. - Lacking in iron and zinc – can result in anaemia.

- Lacking in calcium.

- People believe that by following vegetarian diets they are being healthy, but vegetarians can also be unhealthy and overweight/ obese.

Vegetarianism doesn’t appeal?

Here’s another option (from the film Notting Hill): Keziah: No thanks, I’m a fruitarian.

Max: I didn’t realise that.

William: And, um - what exactly is a fruitarian?

Keziah: We believe that fruits and vegetables have feelings so we think cooking is cruel.

We only eat things that have actually fallen off a tree or bush - that are, in fact, dead already.

William: Right. Right.

Interesting stuff. So, these carrots...

Keziah: Have been murdered, yes.

William: Murdered? Poor carrots. How beastly!

19.

by Elesha Edmonds It’s that time of the year when the sun sets and winter takes its place on the weather mantel.

Along with the cold nights, soaring electricity bills and spooning comes the inevitable winter cold. Sniffles, man flus, coughs and sore throats will be a definite fashion for this winter.

There was a time when our mum could come running to us loaded with tissues, soup, hot water bottles and the remote. Mothers seemed to be immune to every type of flu the world could throw at them. But times have changed and now, for many of us, the gleaming façades of our mothers have been dissolved into the stoney hard faces of our flatmates. They hand you a tissue and tell you to harden up because it’s your turn to make dinner.

Sickness is the last thing we need in our eventful student lives. It also the last thing we need for our empty wallets. Doctor visits these days are costing between $40-70 (unless, of course, you check out AUT’S medical services).

It is money and time that we don’t have or would rather prioritise for other ‘necessities’.

I owe my degree to

by Katherine Tetzlaff

20.

With the obvious advancement of the web it is becoming increasingly popular to use the internet to diagnose everything from a simple headache to heart failure. This idea of a quick fix is a miracle indeed. People seem to think that they have an honorary medical degree just because they can search for symptoms on the internet. Who needs eight years at university when you can just use Google? The consequence of this is that self-diagnosis can be dangerous to your health.

For one thing, most symptoms are associated with more than one health issue. For example, if you have a headache, sore throat or even physical pains, you could be dealing with a number of viruses or bacterial infections. The reliability of a website to then diagnose your condition is therefore limited because it will only spit out the most common reason for your symptoms.

Another problem that you might encounter with using the internet for self-diagnosis is panic. Many people look up their symptoms on

the internet and discover that they could have a number of terminal or serious illnesses. I am guilty of this. I guess it just seemed so simple.

I randomly googled “foot pain” and up came a picture that instructed me to “click where it hurts”. I clicked a random part of the foot and it said the pain was probably from a bunion or gout. Gout? What came to mind was Henry VIII, hugely fat and revolting. Onward I clicked. One site mentioned leprosy, which was dramatic to say the least. Now I realise the pain was likely from walking 45 minutes in heels the previous night.

A good point to remember is that the administrators of health websites have an agenda. They use their websites to make money in addition to ‘advising’ the public, and while they might have the best intentions they are also going to do what they can to push products that aren’t necessarily beneficial.

If you’re going to try for self-diagnosis, your best bet is to use the internet to find a good chicken soup recipe or new sympathetic flatmates.

Dye my greys, do the dishes, clean the house (god forbid visitors think I am messy), do my accounting assignment, study for law exams in two weeks... oh, and make sure the little miss has something to do. It’s 7.00am and it’s just another day in the life of an overworked Mum who has deluded herself into doing an LLB. Thank God for The Wiggles.

I never thought I would be sitting in front of a laptop writing an assignment, hair wet with stinky hair dye, crumpets toasting in the oven (the toaster’s broken and there isn’t enough cash for the basics, let alone a new one) and a cover of The Bee Gee’s You Should Be Dancing sung by four middle-aged Australians playing in the background. Multitasking is the key, without it nothing would get done. Assignment for an hour, cleaning/cooking/mothering for an hour, back to assignment. The cycle goes on; at least today I don’t have to make the two hour round trip on the bus into uni for lectures and workshops. Whose bright idea was it to have the LLB first year papers spread out so much?

Currently I am doing two one hour lecture/ workshops a day over three days. At least if we did a whole day at uni, three hours and three hours, all papers would be done and dusted and my day-care bill would be $25 a week as opposed to $75!

It’s all worth it in the end, that’s what they keep telling me. People are so complimentary, I tell them what I do and they always say, “Wow, I admire the fact you are doing so much at once, I don’t know how you manage”. My response?

Ask me in four years when I am done because

seriously, right now, I have no idea how I am managing and if I stop to think about it I will probably curl up in the foetal position and hide under my bed.

With the first round of exams looming it is really starting to take its toll. Being a parent means feeling guilty. No matter what you do it feels like you are not giving them enough of something; attention, time, fun, toys, stuff they want, the list goes on. At the moment it is a combination of all of that. Also too much TV time. I am always feeling guilty about the fact that if I need to get something done my first impulse is to switch on TV. Now we have a donated trampoline (thank you family!) this has all changed. The little miss can spend hours on the damn thing without a complaint which has made my life just that much better and left me feeling slightly less guilty. She is five next year, off to ‘big girl school’. Where has the time gone and how much have I missed because I have had my nose in a book? When will I get time to teach her to read and write? What will the teachers think of my parenting if I send her to school and she can’t read or write aside from her own name? Bugger that, what will the visitors I am expecting this afternoon think if they see her living in a messy house?

Bugger that, my assignment is due at midday…

Oh God and I think I left the hair dye in a little long – its starting to burn my head… Crap The Wiggles just finished and she is looking at me expectedly for her next activity….

Bugger me, time to prioritise.

issue 12 2011

by Danielle Whitburn As a customer service representative of many years, one realises very quickly into the profession that the job title is perhaps not as accurate as it should be. Looking through the window telepathically-shooing the customers away or waiting on the end of the line hoping it’s not that so-and-so Smith that oozed seediness over the phone last week, it all changes when the customer walks through the door. Happiness and rainbows abound when you see their face. Whether that face is joined to a pair of bare feet or Armani’s, you’re jollier than a sleighing Santa for one reason: customer lovin’.

Customer loyalty love is not something I always remember having been around. I would argue that, as the money increases, so does the degree of your Oscar-winning portrayal of The Person that Most Loves Customers in the World. I can see the point of good customer service: people making sure things are easy for the customer, that they have all the required information and they get good value and efficiency for what they want.

The difference is that now it all has to be done with a smile. But not only a smile: an “it’s all my/the company’s fault, you’re the best, can I help you more after you’re done screaming, Batman’s Joker-esque cheesy-grin” smile. In amidst our circus act of listening and trying to solve the most unreasonable complaint, we are supposed to care.

I remember the days before customer service became a part of the parttime student working week. Cafes, shops, bars were teeming with who would be my future compatriots. Some held their head high, shunning the world in a defiant glare; they were the unbeatables: no amount of complaining could bear them down. The oblivious ones were always safe, thinking about some lover or other that had whisked them away the night before; these were much the same as the hung-over ones, who were simply struggling to get through the day. Yet the ones that always stuck in your mind were the ones that were beaten down: the ones who received “I-want-a-new-coffee/refund/person serving me”, that were in fact the ones that went out of their way for customers who only greeted them with a superior, the-customer-is-always-right glare. These were the ones that wanted to help and they own a special place in any customer services representative’s heart.

Don’t get me wrong: there are always those customers that you do shed a little, semi-caring, retail tear for. The ones that (actually) got ripped off or lost a dog, family member, or some other heart-wrenching affair. Your

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heart does go out to the ones that got shunted around. But it is not those ones that you remember. The ones that lied to you about being ripped off, or losing their dogs or family members are. After a while, you look back on your customer services career and reflect that you have become a sort of turtle: a soft, squelchy sentimentality that used to be the whole of you is now covered with a thick, retail shell. You now very seldom care. It is a beautiful thing to care about the plight of a stranger. The question is: do we have to care for them all?

The last 10 years have seen the technological availability of everything, the call-centre-ization of even the most frivolous businesses, and the recognition of customer service as an exquisite art of cunning and emotional trickery. These have all required customer-service suckers to become more loving. The reason: because we have become so much more visible, and the visibility of corporations has shown what many believed to be some kind of fair, honest working organisation to be a Medusahead of snakes. Customer services people are expected to rectify this ‘misconception’. No, this product is not bad for you. Yes, this product is good value. How will we show you that this is true? By always presenting a wonderful image to you. And what is your first port of call through to this wonderful image? Customer service.

Being a customer-service representative changes your personality.

Retail kills your soul (unless you are a particularly high-minded individual, with a touch of bitchy), but customer service mellows you down. ‘Oh, how ARE you?’ you purr to a customer only introducing himself as ‘John’ (as if you are supposed to know who they are).

Complaints are responded to with a soft, Grace-Kelly voice that is ever so gracious and ever so poised – you do tend to wish you could inject a bit of this relational beauty into your real life. Voices screech and shout like the products they claim are malfunctioning. They are extremely bothered about the slightest thing, but not enough to hang up the phone on you when another slightest thing comes their way. If this was a boyfriend or mate, they would’ve been out of your phonebook long ago. But for some screeching fogey called Audrey? You could never give enough.

The time when you really start to think about your situation is when the fantasies start rolling in. You remember Audrey and the way she treated you. You want revenge. She kicked when you were down. You were working in retail at the time and you couldn’t fight back. It was so unfair. You bleated to all your friends, and they all laughed at her pathetic ways, but it wasn’t enough. The time for pity is over. A torrent of violent attacks and insults hurtle into your brain, bringing out the worst in your usually-so-lovely nature. The scale of violence increases as another Audrey sound-alike disrespects your intelligence. It is all too much. Is this reality the result of the buyer-BFF relationship we are expected to have every time we pick up the phone? The words ‘ironic’ and ‘paradox’ spring to mind.

The complaint about complaints, to finish, is this: why are we the ones that are supposed to care? Sure, we’re paid to – but no amount is ever really enough to butter up some foolish Joe that came off the street with no shoes on. Is it really too much to ask, on both sides of the retail counter, for customers and corporations themselves to be a little bit nicer? If the systems within companies worked better, we wouldn’t get so many complaints. And if the Audrey’s of this world could forget about their impending divorce, bad hair day, and general lack of happiness before they picked up the phone, perhaps the whole of society would love them that little bit more. Hate breeds hate. I am a person. That customer service person over there is a person. And all people, not just haters, deserve civility from civilians.

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21.

by Ana Sheehan So after a gruelling 23 days, the PlayStation network was finally back up and running a few weeks ago. I’m not sure how many people reading this were actually affected by the outage but I for one was craving like an addict without online access.

So when this outage started and the PlayStation network was down for more than a few days people started to query what the hell was going on with access. Gaming blogs and forums started buzzing with angst and fingers started pointing at ‘Anonymous’ who are a group of hackitivist’s originating from image posting forums that take down websites across the world for the ‘greater good’.

Anonymous, which began as a movement in 2003, has gone from targeting small time hypocrites to large multinational corporations bringing it from the background of hacker culture to the forefront of global politics.

Anonymous is considered a “hacktivist” movement that became globally recognised in 2010 after shutting down MasterCard, Visa, and PayPal during what they called Operation Payback. These major corporations stopped providing their services to Wikileaks, which had been using them to accept donations into the

Wikileaks defence fund. This action on the part of Visa, MasterCard and PayPal offended the Anonymous community as an affront to freedom and justice.

Anonymous stated on Al Jazeera that they could have taken down the infrastructure of all three websites but didn’t because they wanted people to still be able to use them. Anonymous stands for “freedom of speech, freedom of information and freedom of information taken to a logical extreme”.

During the uprisings in Tunisia and Egypt, Anonymous took down the government websites and continue to this day to help both movements. In Egypt, Tunsian hackers helped take down government websites because of the censorship which Mubarak’s regime was notoriously known for. Their work has helped to take down security barriers of websites so that people can enter sites and post their message to the Egyptian government.

Since their explosion onto the scene, Anonymous has continued to play a significant role, albeit largely though morale increasing actions, in the day to day affairs of global politics. Recently, they shut down the website of Americans for Prosperity, the political PAC

funded by the infamous Koch Brothers in support of striking workers in Wisconsin during what they called Operation KochBlock (yes, pronounced like cock).

Operating on a series of different websites, the Anonymous network is nearly impossible to stop, much less slow down. Anonymous operates as a sort of hive mind, but not a unified one. There are some clear camps inside the community, but it operates almost completely on a horizontal playing field, without hierarchical structures that dictate or even decide goals of the community.

The attacks Anonymous have carried out rely on having large numbers of people involved in the operation in order to work, further limiting the possibilities of certain hacktivists from falling into de facto leadership roles At this stage no one really knows if Anonymous were behind the PSN outage but learning about their goals and endeavours in society is interesting and somewhat inspiring, always nice to know someone out there attends to the cries of the underdog and inhibits the programming skills to take them down, in the words of John Lennon more Power to the People.

chases her and she eventually gives in. After a few rocky patches here and there, they get married, and depending on the mood of the audience, they either live happily ever after, or it ends in a messy divorce. Either path is pretty predictable.

Although the normal average Joe is not aware of any of this, most of the government knows perfectly well about what is going on. And there is a reason why: they are paid actors. They are the best actors the galaxy can offer; they are masters in deception and knows how to stir and control things. They make important decisions not for the benefit of the people, but for entertainment reasons. Most policies they come up with are there to create a negative response, and negativity creates good ratings.

In fact ratings are the only thing that matters.

As Prince William and his lovely bride Kate were about to kiss, they spoke a few words together. Shockingly, according lip readers, William said to Kate, “I wonder if this will blow the ratings through the roof?”. Although one would say this could do with the earthly ratings, it goes further than that.

Despite the programs popularity, it has been criticised by freedom fighters. An organisation named the Grand Order of Defiance believes that it’s against life-form rights. Their belief is

that because the human race has been used against their own free will to entertain other people, it is ethically wrong. Despite attempts at alerting the human race, like planting some of their own people on earth without the knowledge of the producers, it hasn’t worked to plan. And now they have been accused of being a terrorist organisation.

Regardless of this, Earth has been the biggest rating program, boasting popularity and support across the galaxy. With people coming home each night to watch their favourite person - may it be a greedy businessman, a desperate student trying to cheat in their exam, or a group of preteen girls screaming about Justin Bieber - there is one thing for certain, there are watching you. Take care in your every step. They see everything. *If you actually believe in any of what was written above, I think you should consult a doctor – and stay away from the television for a while.

by Ben Matthews They are watching us. No, I don’t mean CCTV cameras – I am talking about something more sinister. It doesn’t matter where you are, doesn’t matter what you are doing and it doesn’t matter how well you hide; they can see you. Try your best, I dare you to, but you won’t escape their gazes. They watch every single move you do and they analyse to the deepest detail. It’s the greatest phenomena and we have no idea at all that it exists. Our lives are a reality TV program.

Cameras are so small and hidden that no one can see them, even with the most powerful telescope. Everything is so set up that it becomes predictable (it was so obvious that Tiger Woods is a mega sex addict). Every war America has been involved with is so formulated that you can guess their every move: Country enforces an undemocratic system, America disapproves of it, sets up a dictatorship in a rival country, removes dictatorship and uses it to invade the other country. It’s pretty clever, considering no one has noticed this before.

People’s lives are also planned down to the minute, such as their first walk, their first day at school, first job, second job, wedding day, another series of jobs, and then eventual death.

And look at an ordinary relationship. He meets hers, he likes her but she’s not interested. He

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issue 12 2011

by Alisha Lewis

Are you a chronic procrastinator?

Twenty per cent of people identify themselves as chronic or hardcore procrastinators. For this 20 per cent, procrastination isn’t just spending some time on Facebook the day before an exam – it’s a lifestyle, and not a good one.

Chronic procrastinators don’t pay bills on time (often resulting in late fees/fines) and they miss out on opportunities such as buying concert tickets or going away with friends. They don’t cash cheques or gift certificates on time and they’re the ones frantically shopping for presents on Christmas Eve because they left it so late.

According to Timothy Pychyl, associate professor of psychology at Carleton University, procrastinators are made not born. Pychyl says that procrastination is demonstrated and picked up indirectly through one’s family. If you have a strict, controlling parent, you’re more likely to be less self-regulated. Procrastination could also be a way of rebelling against the control.

Procrastinators drink more alcohol than other people. They generally drink more than they intend to, signifying a manifestation of problems with self-regulation.

Procrastinators lie to themselves a lot. “I’ll be more on to it tomorrow” or “I work best under pressure”. In reality, most procrastinators do not get the urge to work the next day and generally don’t work best under pressure either. Procrastinators also tend to tell themselves that the time pressure makes them more creative when, in reality, they end up simply making poorer use of their resources.

Procrastinators are constantly on the lookout for distractions. Checking emails (or Facebook notifications!) is the most commonly used method of distraction. They distract themselves as a way of regulating emotions – such as fear of failure.

Procrastination can affect your health. Studies show that over a single academic term, university students who procrastinate had compromised immune systems leading to more colds, flus and gastrointestinal problems, as well as insomnia.

Have a ‘P’ for procrastination party!

Make everyone dress up as something beginning with the letter P. It’s amazing how much time you can waste discussing who to invite, what food/ drinks to get, what the music playlist for the night’s going to be and what you’re going to wear.

Be Harry Potter happy!

To celebrate the end of the Harry Potter films invite all your mates over to watch the first six movies in a row and play the Harry Potter drinking game (look it up on Facebook). Dress up as the characters, talk in a British accent, keep the drinks flowing and see who can come up with the best wand/ broomstick jokes.

Other interesting ways to waste time without Facebook:

1 Make in instrument out of a tissue box, elastic bands and a toilet paper roll and attempt to play Stairway to Heaven to your family/friends/flatmates.

2 Become a busker: by reciting Shakespeare really badly or holding up an interesting sign and see how much people are willing to pay you out of pity.

3 Create your own cult.

4 Name all the cats in your neighbourhood.

5 Make a nature documentary about living in your house.

6 Put on a one woman play – if you aren’t a woman, use your imagination.

7 Draw a giant picture in your backyard using whipped cream.

8 Wrestle an invisible bear.

9 Organise a party and only invite your imaginary friends.

10 Try and convince someone stupid that the Lord of the Rings is based on a true story.

There are three types of procrastinators: Thrill seekers

They wait till the very last minute for the euphoric rush.

Avoiders

They may be avoiding fear of failure or fear of success. Either way, they are generally very concerned about what people think of them – they generally prefer that people think they lack motivation rather than ability.

Indecisive procrastinators

They can’t make clear decisions. Not making a decision frees them from responsibility.

Top five unusual ways to procrastinate: Get cooking!

Cook up a procrastination storm – make your family/flatmates an impressive four course dinner, make everyone you know chocolate brownies or bake a big batch of cupcakes and cookies and spend all day decorating them.

Turn the music up!

Rock out to some Guitar Hero/Singstar/rent a room at a karaoke bar, write a song, muck around on GarageBand, dance around your room singing into a hairbrush or call all your musically inept friends over and have a really terrible jam session.

Get organised!

You may not be organised about your assignments/exams but who says you can’t be on to it with all those other things you’ve been meaning to do for ages? Alphabetise your entire CD and DVD collection, do some spring cleaning (so what if it’s the beginning of winter?) or have a wardrobe clearout and make some money by listing everything on Trade Me. www.ausm.org.nz

23.

Intellectual Pulp Fiction

by Ashleigh Muir

W

ith the long break fast approaching the idea of reading isn’t always overly appealing. Semesters are full of deciphering long passages of waffle, not holidays.

Holidays are for reading that novel everyone has been talking about; nothing too difficult, just something light. A relaxing read is the perfect choice for holidays.

Really? I have to completely disagree with you there.

Reading something easy-breezy-lemon-squeezy is achieving nothing at all. What exactly does Twilight teach anybody?

The forces of good and evil are not always what you expect them to be? You can’t even say that. Beautiful people are always good – Chris Hemsworth in Thor, Ryan Reynolds in The Green Lantern, Shia Le Beouf in Transformers. The only example of ugly good people is Seth Rogen in The Green Hornet. It just doesn’t happen. Who would want to be seduced by Seth Rogen? If he wasn’t famous?

My point is that sometimes it pays to read something that actually means something; even if it takes a little longer and a little concentration. With that I present to you: eight novels worth your time.

Persuasion Jane Austen

Best known for Pride and Prejudice, Austen is a beautiful author of satire fiction. Persuasion was published after her death and as such is a little less polished, but it is hardly noticeable. Persuasion is also significantly shorter than P&P, so if you never managed to finish it, Persuasion is the novel for you.

It is Austen at her funniest. In no other novel have I laughed as hard as I did at her description of Mary Musgrove. Girls, if you fell for Darcy, wait until you meet Captain Wentworth.

Tale of Two Cities Charles Dickens

I struggled through Dickens’ Great Expectations, but ToTC kept me turning every page, begging to know what would happen next.

While Dickens usually writes about the down-and-out, orphans and the poor, ToTC is slightly different.

Dickens focuses on a family wealthier than his usual taste, however they still battle society to be happy. This novel still has the dark undertones that form a true Dickens novel, but it seems to work far better in this case.

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Mister Pip Lloyd Jones

Another Kiwi author, this novel is set among a civil war on a small island where the school’s only textbook is Dickens Great Expectations. Seen through the eyes Human Traces of the young and naïve Matilda, you Sebastian Faulks will find yourself so attached to this This was one of the hardest novels young girl, but unable to help her.

I have ever read. It takes great Struggling to live a normal life in a perseverance and determination. civil war and with the mother she Reading through late 1800s medical has, Matilda’s narrative is engaging lectures is definitely hard work, but and beautiful. it is worth it. Focusing on mental illness between 1860 and 1920, the To Kill a Mockingbird novel shows how primitive medical Harper Lee No list such as this can be complete knowledge was only a hundred years ago. I recommend this novel without this novel. Those of you who studied it at high school and to everyone, but you nursing haven’t touched it since, I dare students especially. you to pick it up. It is one of those Tuesdays with Morrie novels that truly challenges society.

Mitch Albom While in our society – for the most Based on true events, this is a part – does not grapple with Black philosophical novel looks at life and Civil Rights, discrimination will death and everything in between. always be a very real issue for a lot It is short and sweet and sad but it of us. Lee successfully draws you really gets you thinking about what into the world of Scout Finch and is important in life. This novel only doesn’t let you leave until the last took me a day to read, but I will page. It is one of those novels that never forget it. It is beautiful and stays with you for a long time. thought provoking.

In my Father’s Den Maurice Gee

This novel is quite different to the film adaptation, but still very beautiful. Set in our own backyard, Gee has truly captured a small town being enveloped into Auckland City by a growing population. At the same time he discusses how the small town way of life still remains in parts of this ever-growing city.

Based around the murder of a teenager, this is a thriller like no other. It’s a novel hard to come across, but worth it when you do.

Jane Eyre Charlotte Bronte

Read the novel before it comes out at the cinemas on September 8. It is one of those novels you will be glad you stuck at when you finally finish it. It is a classic for a reason.

Bronte creates real characters with flaws and issues, yet characters you will love. While Rochester doesn’t compete with Captain Wentworth, he is realistic. If you love it, try Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys.

Written in 1966, this novel takes one of Bronte’s lesser characters and writes their back story.

issue 12 2011

Obesity: The Ever-expanding Epidemic

by Jess Etheridge This column has nothing to do with potatoes, I just wanted to use that phrase because it makes me cackle with laughter. I hope it gave you a chuckle as I know final assignments for the semester are underway and exams are only around the corner. Everyone needs a laugh around this time, so take the opportunity. Otherwise, sit back and relax while you’re in your lecture right now – as I know most people read debate while ignoring lecturers on Mondays –and read along to my ramblings about whatever my point is this week.

My question for you this week is do we like seeing ourselves played out on screen? Do we like seeing someone like us on television or in a movie, whether the way we relate is through culture, religion, sexuality, gender, social circumstance? I ask this because so often, New Zealanders complain or praise about just how well represented (or under represented, however you look at it), we are in the media.

Whether it’s on a fictional television show, reality television show, documentary or on the news, how we’re presented through the factors that mirror us affects our ideas. I’m not trying to delve into some academic theory about media communication (blergh) or popular culture, but trying to get you thinking about whether you’re pleased or upset to see someone similar portrayed in the media.

One obvious non-New Zealand case would be Jersey Shore and its portrayal of Italian-Americans. Cultural groups around America were outraged at the portrayal of what they hold dear on television, through a binge-drinking and sexually promiscuous exercise deemed to gain viewers and make money. Jersey Shore is a huge cash cow, now heading for the “homeland” of Italy for season four, but are people still upset? So many people love the show; it seems those actually portrayed are ignored and denigrated for people who view the show.

Back home, we have shows like Drug Bust, 111 and popular favourite Police 10/7, where more often than not Maori or Pacific Islanders are shown to be on the wrong side of the law. I know plenty of people who love these shows and laugh at the responses the police get from those pulled over for questioning. But I can’t remember the last time I heard someone respond in an upset way about the portrayal of culture on these shows. Do people not care anymore? Have we reached the point where we’re apathetic towards how other people and cultures see us as a country?

But take the whole Wellywood debacle, for example. Wellington Airport is set to put up a large display on the side of a hill so that incoming passengers see WELLYWOOD as they touch down in what is debatably New Zealand’s cultural capital. The outcry from citizens has been enormous, about how Wellingtonians will be marketed overseas, that they’ll appear like copycats and how it’s an unoriginal idea for such a culturally-rich and unique city. But it’s private land owned mostly by Infratel, the company that owns the airport, so the only available option is to take it to the courts.

This is the kind of response I love. A grassroots movement against an offensive misrepresentation of a city, the little guys taking on the big guys. Have we been bombarded by the media’s representations on Police 10/7 for so long that we just “accept” it now, instead of saying “look, we realise to make money you need viewers, but why don’t you look at your life, look at your choices”?

We should care more about how people see us, rather than sitting back and saying “she’ll be right”.

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by Jason Burnett Why is it that society can pass judgement on smokers but any one who tells someone who repeatedly stuffs their face with double downs and king-size Cadbury bricks that maybe they should change their diet or go for a run is labeled insensitive? Obesity is a ravenous pandemic that has rapidly grown over the past half century; more than 1.5 billion people worldwide are now overweight and a further 500 million tip the scales into obesity.

Let me set you straight right now – obesity is NOT beautiful. On TV at the moment is a show called Drop Dead Diva about a skinny mini who died and came back as a larger than life woman who struggles with the realisation that big is beautiful. The reality is far more ugly. High cholesterol, low energy levels and skin breakouts are some of the sweeter downsides to look forward to. Endometrial, colon and breast cancers, osteoarthritis, type 2 onset diabetes and heart disease, including strokes and heart attacks, (which were the leading cause of death in 2008) leave a more bitter taste in your mouth.

Earlier this year a morbidly obese man who had sat in a chair for two years fell unconscious and needed to be rushed to hospital. His skin had fused to the chair, was covered in maggots and his own faeces and urine. The fire service needed to remove a wall to get him out. How beautiful. The house was a rubbish tip and his girlfriend would prepare meals deep fried in animal fat – no sign of a vegetable anywhere. This sadly is not uncommon. Obesity and laziness tend to go hand in hand, with all food of the day served fast and the only exercise evident is moving the mcfat burger from the packet to the mouth.

My question is how does a species that excels so well at being physical and getting things done get to the point where they can’t be bothered to move to take a shit?! The simple answer is, energy in exceeds energy out. Yes, some are more predisposed to carrying some extra kilos, but at the end of the day what it comes down to is being too lazy to cook a decent meal and too lazy to move one foot in front of the other for an extended (more than five minutes) period of time.

Worse still is the alarming prevalence of child obesity. According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), more than one in 12 New Zealand children aged two-14 years is obese. One in five children is overweight. Overweight children are more likely to become overweight or obese adults. What is so sad about this is it’s the parents’ responsibility to provide nutrition for their children and if they are inhaling bad foods, then the children have no choice but to join in. To me this IS abuse – forcing a lifelong health struggle onto helpless kids. Some say advertisers should be socially responsible, but they don’t force society to consume their products; it is the choice of the consumer to decide to over indulge in food everyone knows is dripping with calories. Worse still, is that ALL of this is preventable.

So what can be done? At the supermarket, fat-and-sugar-laden food is FAR cheaper than healthier counterparts so some families’ incomes can’t support healthier options. In some places in the world, Coke is cheaper than water. New Zealand needs to follow the UK and drop GST from fruit and veges. This is a step in the right direction. I would like to see this taken a step further and apply a fat tax to food that is above a certain percentage of fat and sugar and have this excess used to subsidise their healthier counterparts.

At the end of the day, people need to take ownership for their situations and stop playing the victim. It is your life. You choose what you put in your mouth. You choose how active you are. Obesity is preventable, and as they say – prevention tastes better than cure.

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This Agony Aunt column is brought to you by the team at Health, Counselling and Wellbeing. If you have a question you would like answered email debate@aut.ac.nz and put Agony Aunt as the subject or drop it in to the Health, Counselling and Wellbeing office.

Dear Agony Aunt

I have had asthma all my life and it’s never really been too much of a problem for me. However, lately I seem to be wheezy all the time. I need my inhalers more and more and I get scared if I don’t know where my inhaler is in case I need it in a hurry. Do you think I need to see a doctor about this?

From Wheezy

Dear Wheezy

Asthma is a serious condition that can be life threatening if not treated correctly. If you are using your blue inhaler more than twice a week or have not had an asthma check within the past year then you need to make an appointment to see a nurse or doctor.

Asthma is a chronic condition affecting the bronchi and bronchioles (airways). It is mostly caused by an allergic reaction to a trigger. Common triggers for asthma include dust mite, pollen, animal fur, tobacco smoke, cold air or viruses. If you know what triggers your asthma you can avoid situations that may make your symptoms worse. However, during the winter months asthma can be more of a problem due to the increase in the amount of cold and flu viruses. Remember the flu vaccination is free for people with asthma.

Dear Agony Aunt

I am pregnant and don’t know what to do. I know I’m pregnant because I did a test that I bought from the pharmacy and it was positive. I am gutted and scared to death. I can’t have a baby, my parents would be so disappointed in me. This is not what I had planned for my life. Please can you help me I just don’t know what to do? I just want to hide somewhere where no one will find me.

From Scared

Dear Scared

It is very important that you see a nurse or a doctor as soon as possible so they can confirm the pregnancy and guide you through the options that are available to you. If you wait too long some of these options may not be available to you anymore as you may be too far on in your pregnancy.

It’s sometimes difficult to face problems head on, especially when all you want to do is hide in a corner and become invisible, but this problem is not going to go away on its own and you need to get some help and support as soon as possible. It may help to bring a friend that you trust with you and you could speak to a counsellor first if that would make it easier. Agony Aunt can reassure you that all consultations with a doctor, nurse or counsellor are completely confidential. I know this is a very distressing time for you but you will get through it and with the right help and support you will be okay.

by Katie Montgomerie

Hello all, the year is fast coming to a close and this is the last week, I repeat, THE LAST WEEK, before study week and exams begin.

In light of this, I thought this week would be time to take a trip down memory lane and have a little look-see at all the words that so artfully describe the past. How about kicking off with:

Fucking Retrospect

A phrase used to describe the agonising frustration of realising that you did something you regret. This is often followed by the desire to go back in time and do something differently. This typically occurs about five minutes later but the realisation of such can occur years later.

Example: D- student: “Looking back in fucking retrospect, I probably should have studied those readings the tutor gave us instead of using Wikipedia for my

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essay and using the reference of the reading... who knew turnitin was so smart!?”

A+ student: “Ain’t retrospect a bitch?”

Another curiously similar sounding word that I took a fancy to was...

Retrospectacles

The (usually rose-colored) glasses with which one views the past. Viewing through retrospectacles causes one to overlook past problems or disasters and remember only the good aspects. Thus, retrospectacles are often the device which allows one to intentionally repeat the same ill-advised course of action.

Example Adam: “I know she cheated on me the last five times we got together, but we had some really good times too. Maybe this time will be different, I think I’ll give her a call” Bob: “Adam you idiot, put down the phone and take off your retrospectacles”

And finally,

Retro-cringe

When you remember, the morning after a boozy night out, something you said, wrote, did or didn’t say that is the result of shame or a sense of wrong doing.

Example Adam : “I texted undying love to my ex when I got home from that party... Now she wants to meet up... I’m having retro-cringe, big time.”

Bob: “Adam you idiot, I told you to put down that phone!”

That’s all for this week, good luck for your very last week of classes this semester, I’m going to need some well-wishing from leprechauns to get through it that’s for sure.

Ciao!

issue 12 2011

Now that’s what I call Volume Twelve Now Waiting

New Zealand’s Next Top Model

The promos have started on TV3, which means season three of NZ’s Next Top Model can’t be far behind. I’m not a New Zealand reality show fan, mostly because it looks so painfully amateur compared to other countries’ versions (Idol anyone?), but Top Model I get behind. Being New Zealand, there’s a 50/50 chance you’ll spot someone in the audition round and no doubt you’ll cringe at the actions of at least one of the finalists. This is television at its guiltiest – make sure you don’t miss out.

Now Embracing Our Inner Nerd

The end is near! But the journey getting there isn’t going to be easy. We’re entering treacherous waters – due dates and exams are slowly piling up. There’s so many of them they’re starting to get hard to keep track of. Avoid caffeine driven all nighters and showing up to exams half dead by getting on to it now. Get organised! Be a nerd: be highlighter happy, flashcard friendly and become a list lover! Make a study timetable and mark all the due dates in your diary. Getting on to it now will make the rough road ahead a little less bumpy.

Now Browsing

www.awkwardstockphotos.com

This is one for the design kids, or anyone that has ever had to source stock images. The website title sums it up really, it’s a site dedicated to all the awkward photos that you are able to use if your heart desires. Who doesn’t want an image of a pregnant woman lighting up while holding an empty spirits bottle, a child sniffing (or is it kissing?) a cactus or a man having a heart attack on a golf course? If studying is getting you down, then log on for a chuckle. Warning though, some of the images are pretty graphic, so save them for when you’re at home, not in the open access computer labs.

Now Eating Thai

Nothing makes me forget how cold the nights are these days than a good Thai curry. Over the last month, I’ve been turning to Thai staples more often, both at home and when dining out. Unlike Japanese, which relies a lot on fish and seafood (two food genres I don’t play nice with), Thai food has a great range of chicken, beef and vegetarian dishes to satisfy me. a plethora of good Thai restaurants in the Auckland fringe area; I frequently hit up Sawadee and Thai Me Up (both in Ponsonby) – they have decent meals at reasonable prices. Better still, both of these places are BYO – three of the greatest letters in the student alphabet. If you’re low on cash, hit up your local Asian supermarket for all the ingredients to recreate it at home. There’s nothing like a pad Thai to ease into winter.

If you think you’re on the pulse with what’s happening in Auckland, email debate@aut.ac.nz with your own Suggestions.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Feeling discontent with life? Spice it up by walking across busy intersections at peak hour. Result: a pumping heartbeat and a night in the cells. I call that a success.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Your ying is channelling positive energy this week. Use it to positively procrastinate – bake a cake and send it to debate. It’s better than scrubbing your toilet with a toothbrush.

GEMINI (May 21-June 21)

It’s your birthday soon and debate’s gift to you is only one more week of classes! You are welcome.

CANCER (June 22-July 22)

Your week will be ruined when you realise tickets to the midnight IMAX screening of Harry Potter are all sold out.

Consider this a foreshadowing of how exams are going to go.

LEO (July 23-August 22)

If Hollywood can recreate fairytale classics, you can too.

Attend your last lecture dressed as your favourite Disney character. Ten points if it’s Mufasa (R.I.P).

VIRGO (August 23-September 22) Have a break. Have a Kit Kat.

LIBRA (September 23-October 23)

You’ve been lacking in the friend department of late, but the stars see a bus shelter hug going down before Thursday. Congrats.

SCORPIO (October 24-November 21)

Your lucky vegetable this week is a turnip. Incorporate it into all your meals to guarantee a pass in your upcoming exams.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21)

Dreams will be crushed this week when you realise that island holiday you “won” was all part of an elaborate Nigerian credit card scam. Looks like these holidays will be spent like the rest of us – sad and broke.

CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19)

Cheer up Capricorns, there’s less than 5000 hours till Christmas. Spend your study time this week perfecting your letter to Santa.

AQUARIUS (January 20-Febuary 18)

It’s June and you still don’t have any New Year’s plans?

The stars warned you in April to get planning. Abandon all study to immediately rectify your Nigel no mates status.

PISCES (Febuary 19-March 20)

Make all your decisions this week with a 50 cent coin and a simple game of heads or tails. The stars suggest questions like “should I turn up to my exam?” and “will this feather boa go with these red leather boots?”.

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27.

Hin Chan:

Bachelor of Fashion Design (third year) What inspired your work?

The design concept for my umbrella hat originated from my disdain of having to constantly hold up my umbrella on rainy days. Fundamentally, the umbrella itself is a classic tool that has been utilised for decades without great modifications. My concept is an umbrella that can be worn on top of the head so that the user is able to utilise both hands when walking under the rain. The design evolved from a simple question: “Why do we have to physically hold up our umbrella?” and subsequently adapted to additional factors such as the ability to read a book/ coffee under the rain without having one hand occupied by the umbrella.

How did the concept evolve? What problems did you face with this design?

I am a student in AUT studying fashion design; I am equipped in the necessary skills to make clothes but making an umbrella was a first for me. The making of an umbrella involves the use of metals and some partial physics (the angle of the metal spikes must be perfectly aligned). I wanted to make sure there was total flexibility when wearing the umbrella so I had to ensure maximum comfort, which was a tedious procedure.

Where do you see the future of fashion heading?

For menswear, I see great space for expansion, as men could be more open-minded in the fashion sense.

Womenswear has so much more attention, details and variety; I definitely see menswear heading in the same direction.

Vundana Dahya:

Bachelor of Fashion Design (third year) Where did the idea come from?

by Heather Rutherford

Eleven years into the 21st century, we live in a society that, more-or-less, everything we imagine, everything we require, has been done, put into production, sold, and is now sitting in our homes. But now everything obviously ‘designable’ has already been done, where does that leave us designers now? Many fashion designers have faced this problem with the solution of finding new ways to reinterpret and build on what we already have. This could be as complex as using technology to revolutionise the design process or as simple as using old materials and techniques in a different way. For example, fashion label WWA designed a pair of heeled sandals that are ‘knitted’ as opposed to strapped up in leather. Fashion designer Alice Ziccheddu used technology to design clothes that react to light and the world around us. It is not just the actual manufacturing of clothing this applies to but it affects every aspect of the fashion industry, such as fashion illustration and everything in between.

During their final year of study, AUT fashion design students are required to ‘push the boundaries’ of everything that has been done before. This design brief always yields some exciting results and this year was no exception: http://www.theoliveshoppe.com/wwa.html http://www.livingclothes.com/

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My initial discovery into the experimentation with fish skin leather started with skinning fish after a day on the water catching snapper.

The strength of the skins surprised me when I was curious about whether or not it would make a feasible textile. Though the smell and taste of fish absolutely disgusts me, I really wanted to experiment with something that was out of my comfort zone. I also figured that it was something that was just going to be thrown away anyway, so why not do something with it?

What was it like working with fish skin?

I had issues over where I was going to get the skins from, and how I was going to go about tanning (turning skin into leather) them. The fish market supplied me with fresh skins, and a home tanner guided me through the tanning process, which was by no means a pleasant experience. I started this experiment having no idea of what the outcome was going to be, or what kind of product I was going to produce to follow through with my experiment. I dyed the skins in four different colours – Red brown, mushroom brown, deep blue and orange – and the texture of the scale indent was amazing.

Issues arose when I realised that there wasn’t a lot you could make out of such a small piece of leather.

Also the amount of experiments I was able to do were pretty much nil, as I was unable to find a similar textile that I could play around with. In result of my issues, I decided to make men’s fish skin wallets. My patterning and design was critical as I only had a limited amount of surface area I was able to work with, which definitely pushed my creative thinking. In regards to the amount of trials I was able to do I feel like my final product was just a beginning of an experiment that could be pushed a lot further. I learnt a lot and enjoyed the process, as disgusting as parts of it were, and was pretty pleased my outcome.

Jesse Lolo:

Bachelor of Fashion Design (third year) What was in the design brief for this assignment?

The brief required us to [turn to] a ‘new’ way of looking at things regarding fashion or textiles. I chose to look at fashion illustration and I found a way where I could experience a sense of ‘newness’ in this field. I approached this brief with the idea of collaborating with a designer in mind. I chose to work with my friend Dowon with him being the designer and I, the illustrator. The idea behind the collaboration would be to explore the communication between a designer and an illustrator, by illustrating his fashion illustrations.

What were the problems you encountered?

At first, it was difficult to understand exactly where we were going with this assignment because we both approach design from different angles. We also felt whether or not the communication idea was what we really wanted to do. After much discussion, I felt it would be stronger to try and illustrate the emotional inspiration behind his design for this brief.

Dowon’s inspiration came from this concept of anxiety, which was a feeling he felt when he first moved to New Zealand. From that, I tried to produce a ‘fashion illustration’ of this form of anxiety but also the silhouette, shape and texture he envisioned. He also talked about how he was interested in installation art, which is why I chose to create a 3D fashion illustration in the form of a sculpture, so that the viewer would be able to interact with the illustration, by being able to view it from different angles. issue 12 2011

Vincent Lim Diploma of Business (second year) Jacket: Tailor-made in China Pants and shoes: China

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Heather Rutherford Bachlor of Fashion Design (second year) Cardigan: Trenery Dress: Tara Hall Shoes: Topshop

Mary Winnington Bachelor of Fashion Design Jacket: Topshop Scarf: Oroton Dress: asps Shoes: Doc Martens

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The Hangover Part II

Directed by Todd Phillips Film Review by Samantha McQueen

(B)

Todd Phillips has severely stuck to the mantra “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” with The Hangover Part II. Yes, it’s still hilarious, but the shock and awe tactics have slightly worn off two years on.

This time around, it’s mild-mannered dentist Stu (Ed Helms) who is tying the knot to his girlfriend Lauren (Jamie Chueng), in her homeland of Thailand. He just wants a bachelor brunch at iHop, but Phil (Bradley Cooper), Doug (Justin Bartha) and Alan (Zach Galifianakis) convince him to have one beer (from sealed bottles) over a bonfire on one of Thailand’s beautiful beaches. Fast-forward eight hours and Phil, Alan and Stu wake up in what can only be described as a crack house, sweating profusely and once again, not knowing what happened the night before. The Mike Tyson tattoo on Stu’s face, Alan’s bald head and a severed finger in water gives you some indication of what went down. Oh yeah, and they’re missing Lauren’s prodigal brother (but Doug’s ok!). Cue a hazy stumble down “can’t remember lane”, as they try and piece together their night in the city of squalor.

From here, you could play cinematic spot the difference. They all check their pockets for clues, mess up a police car (although this time it’s because of a riot), take Stu to the hospital and visit a Thai whorehouse, where we learn Stu’s affection for strippers hasn’t changed.

The latter portion of their antics provides the best laughs in the movie, as well as the biggest gasps and groans; you almost forgive Phillips for trying to sell us the exact same movie. The new locations – a high rise resort, a tattoo shop and monastery – don’t offer much in terms of hilarity (it’s a shame Liam Neeson’s cameo never made it in) but there is a fantastic scene where Alan delves into his sub-conscious through meditation and relives the night as though they are all 10-year-olds. There are also drug lords, car chases and smoking monkeys, but the aim of the movie is the same – find the brother and get to the wedding.

Cooper once again takes the role as leader of the wolfpack; he’s supposed to be the sensible family man, but with his cheeky grin and smart alec attitude, you can see he clearly relishes this biennial hangover. There’s the slightly racist and effeminate Mr Chow, the straight-laced Stu and the pervy monkey, but the humour of this

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film rest firmly on the shoulders of Galifianakis, whose childlike explanations and social awkwardness make up 80 per cent of the laughs.

The other 20 per cent comes from the closing credits, where we’re treated to another photo montage of the boys’ debauchery.

The Hangover Part II is going to be a success no matter what – who doesn’t want to see grown men get drunk and do dumb shit? – but Bangkok’s promise of being harder partiers than Vegas simply doesn’t live up to the hype.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Directed by Rob Marshall Film Review by Declan Salmon

If you are going to see this film (and chances are, if you’ve stuck with this series this long, you will) just stick to the 2D version. The 3D version adds nothing and wastes valuable money that could be spent on a popcorn and coke combo.

Overall On Stranger Tides is a rather average affair, recreating the same formula that made the previous films a success but adding nothing extra to the mix. So if you like the Pirates series go have a look; it’s a fun watch but ultimately forgettable.

Lady Gaga (C)

For a film series adapted from a theme park ride based on the “Golden Age of Piracy” Pirates of the Caribbean has done amazingly well for itself. I mean how successful do you think a film based on Rainbows End’s log flume would have been? If you have seen any of the previous films in the series you know exactly what kind of viewing experience you are in for. On Stranger Tides follows the same basic formula created within the previous three Pirates films. Hilarious escape, romantic subplot, sail the seas, fight off dangerous creatures, find the treasure, big fight over treasure, end (rinse and repeat when needed).

The basic plot for On Stranger Tides is that Jack is on the search for the mysterious Fountain of Youth. But he is not alone in his search; the English, Spanish and Blackbeard are all after this wondrous treasure. Will Jack make it in time against all odds and save the girl?

On Stranger Tides keeps up the same great physical comedy that the previous films had and the awesome Johnny Depp performs his role as Jack Sparrow – excuse me Captain Jack Sparrow – amazingly well. The other actors fill their own parts well too; the best of whom being Geoffrey Rush repeating his role as the morally ambiguous Barbossa.

There are two relationships within the film that really interested me. The interplay between Jack and Barbossa was well written and well performed by both actors and really showed off the best that the Pirates series has. The other interesting relationship was between background characters, the preacher and the mermaid, although it did feel like this subplot was there just to replace the relationship between Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan.

Born This Way (Special Edition) Album Review by Samantha McQueen

(B)

It’s hard to believe that two years ago, the most talked about artist of the 21st century was opening for The Pussycat Dolls. Through all the meat dresses, Kermit couture and red lace blankets, Lady Gaga has managed to pen Born This Way, her follow up to The Fame and The Fame Monster.

Lady Gaga has been about the shock and awe tactics of the last 12 months but none has been more dominant and recurring than the religious imagery that’s appeared in her songs.

From the creepy manifestation of Mother Monster at the beginning of the Born This Way music video, to her literally riding off into the night with Judas, there are few songs that escape this controversial touch. Bloody Mary sees her adopt the character of martyr while she talks about crucifixion and obeying Jesus to a dark combination of operatic wailings and ominous synths. Electric Chapel sees her calling out to a “holy fool” to come steal her heart and Black Jesus + Amen to Fashion rolls consumerism and Christianity into one synthed up, Madonnaesque mall number.

She takes a trip across Europe with Scheisse, and while it may translate into shit in English, this song is anything but. Full of girl power, its glamorous eurotrash sounds will see women everywhere pump one fist into the air while pounding the other into their chests to the beat of the baseline. She may declare in staunch fashion that she’ll speak German if you want her to, but she’s not lying when she says she can’t. “Ich schleiban austa be clair es kumpent madre monstère” is a mix of European languages, including Polish, French, Gaelic and Spanish, which one can only guess translates into some form of worship to Mother Monster.

issue 12 2011

With all her assertions of independence to hard beats and synthetic sounds, it’s a refreshing change to hear her vulnerability in Yoü and I. There are the grungy guitar riffs, beating drums and crooning male backups, which give it the quintessential country American vibe she is putting out. It’s fitting for the lyrics, which talks of a Nebraska guy who tastes like whisky and frequents bars.

For all of Gaga’s proclamations of originality, a few of her songs have glaring comparisons to other iconic works (including herself). Born This Way sounds eerily similar to Madonna’s Express Yourself, with the same upbeat tempo and same “love yourself” message; Yoü and I has borrowed the drums of Queen’s We Will Rock You; Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band saxophonist Clarence Clemons pays tribute to himself in The Edge of Glory, and Highway Unicorn (Road to Love)’s chorus melody sounds very much like her smash hit Poker Face (foreshadowing her next single, maybe?).

That’s not to say this is a bad thing. At 23 tracks (including six remixes) Born This Way is a varied album which will have little monsters on their feet – but with all the stunts she’s thrown at us over the last two years, you expect something just a little more original.

Tyler, The Creator Goblin

Album Review by Jess Etheridge

(B)

lead single, Yonkers, which doesn’t sound much different from Goblin. Disappointing.

She, track four on the album, features Odd Future member Frank Ocean who provides a welcome change from the rough and depressing sound the album holds. It’s a nice collaboration between the two, as Ocean’s tone flows well with the track and Tyler loosens up on the verses a bit.

One of the nicer, more relatable tracks on the album, She may be better received as a potential single compared to the other grungier tracks. But it’s quickly back into the alternative sound Tyler seems to be known for. It’s disappointing that the album, in my opinion, doesn’t feature more versatility instrumentally, as each track seems to flow into one. Having a cohesive album is always the priority for artists but a bit of difference goes a long way.

Goblin features a couple of tracks that are slow-burners, meaning they take a while to get into and need to be listened to a couple of times before their value is recognised. Tron Cat, Her and AU79 slow down the album a bit, however AU79, being just an instrumental track, shows just how creative Tyler can be.

I do actually think Tyler, the Creator has some talent in there. Goblin is an album for those who are looking for an underground alternative to current rap and hip hop on the market. It’s very reminiscent of the 1990s, where you can hear influences from the likes of NWA and Wu-Tang Clan, with Tyler putting his own spin on things.

However it may be hard for some to get passed his raw verses and use of words.

L.A. Noire At only 20-years-old, Tyler, the Creator has made headlines around the world, polarising critics and fans everywhere. As leader of Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All (OFWGKTA) he has collaborated on and produced records for the entire group, as well as working on his own music and now presents the world with his sophomore album Goblin.

Known for his outlandish comments in interviews and his beliefs about culture and social issues, Tyler, the Creator doesn’t hold back on Goblin. Each track is laced with profanities and homophobic slurs, mixed with bass-heavy instrumentals alternative to what you hear in mainstream rap and hip hop currently.

The record opens with title track Goblin, an ode and introduction to Tyler’s life thus far, as well as a nod to his haters who tried to stop him. Tyler also points to Twitter and his online presence, as well as online enemies who he dismisses quickly. After what feels like an eternity but is really only six minutes comes the

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Rockstar Games Designed for Playstation3 and Xbox360 Game Review by Ana Sheehan

(A+)

Rockstar Games are one of my favourite studios and one of the most legendary around. So when I became aware of yet another much anticipated release after the award-winning game of the year 2010, Red Dead Redemption, my attention was instantly captured. Renowned for the free roam sandbox style of game play they teamed up with Australia-based Team Bondi studios to create L.A. Noire and it has hit all the right notes.

Not knowing exactly what to expect upon purchasing this game I am pleased to announce it has transformed the gaming world forever.

The most notable aspects include real-time global-illumination technology, which basically translates into more realistic lighting in 3D scenes. Images rendered in this fashion appear more photorealistic than images using only direct illumination algorithms. The best part of the game is the newly developed technology called MotionScan, which records the actors with 32

cameras picking up every facial expression, further enhancing the player’s experience.

The game is based in 1947 Los Angeles, old Hollywood; a town that exudes glamour, debauchery and excess. You play Cole Phelps, a member of the LAPD who rises through the ranks of the department. Solving crimes by gathering evidence, using your initiative while interviewing suspects and garnering problemsolving skills are all part of the experience. The reason this game is so good is that it is nothing like any other game on the market. The motion scanning of facials harnesses the true essence of the game, paying attention to the most minor of expressions and dialogue is extremely important. The movements of throat muscles, wandering eyes and fidgeting hands can make or break the case and the realness conveyed by these actor’s is astounding and very life like.

Most of the crimes are based on real life cases, including the famous Black Dahlia serial killer, which rocked LA at the time it occurred. Phelps starts off as a patrolman, then advances to traffic detective, homicide, vice and finally an arson investigator.

I am excited to progress through the stages of this game and from what I have experienced so far it has surpassed all my expectations and opened my eyes to the certain path gaming will take in the future. Rockstar Games, along with Team Bondi, have created a sharp, stylish and thrilling action adventure game that has world leading technology, which sets the bar for future games. L.A. Noire is a must buy and well worth it. Even if you are the most basic of gamers it is one that will be truly enjoyed.

Eason Chan DUO 2011 Concert

Live at Trust Stadium Arena, May18 Concert Review by Rocky Mak

(A+)

Since I left Hong Kong 15 years ago, Eason Chan transformed from just another singing contest winner in 1995, at a time when the future of Cantopop was uncertain, to currently being the third male singer to ever be crowned “The God of Cantopop Songs”, while also gaining popularity in Mandarin pop music (Mandopop).

His catalogue of songs are so vast, he has already racked up more than 16 albums and EPs in the last five years alone! Yet, it is the nature of the Asian music industry. The concept of DUO incorporated the concept of history and time (or in my case, losing track of it) and incorporated songs from other artists. Not only was it about his musical career up to 2010, he also went back in time to perform timeless classics from himself like Karaoke King, Don’t Speak (no relation to No Doubt), 700 Years Later, as well as

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his idols like the late Leslie Cheung, The Beatles and Genesis.

This is his sixth themed concert in his career and his first time back to Auckland since 2003.

Despite Trusts Stadium Arena’s smaller size, which meant a four-sided stage with gears and trap doors was replaced by a more intimate three-sided stage with a smaller touring band of musicians and dancers, Eason pulled out all the stops, and then some for the concert.

Other than the four of the six different costumes Eason wore from the larger version of the concert (the rest are sponsored by Adidas), highlights included the confetti explosion, the vocal power and range assault on the final note in Extravagance and the planned guitar performance in I Don’t Have Anything.

Eason even had a surprise in store. After his first costume change, he swapped roles with Joventino Couto Remotigue (Jun Kung), Macau’s greatest drummer, and Eason played the drums for him while he sang one of his own work, Here To Stay.

It is amazing that despite his concert schedule, he still managed to release two more EPs since his tour started last March and he just finished filming a movie in Sydney over a week ago. As if that wasn’t enough, towards the end of the concert, he revealed he has been dancing mostly on instincts and spontaneity, because of a torn anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) on his left knee, which he can’t operate on until early next year because of his schedule.

Eason is so passionate and dedicated about what he does - be it concerts, movies or advertisements - he wasn’t kidding in an interview the afternoon before that he literally will sacrifice his well-being just to make sure we get much more than we bargained for. He then asked the entire crowd to flood the floor (the $199 area, which is still a HUGE bargain when compared to other countries with a small venue) and overthrow the security guards (in a somewhat organised manner), and join in on a packed communal dance party as the final encore.

The only thing security and nearby residents had in their favour was that the concert ended as promptly as it began: 8-10.30pm, unlike many of his concerts in Hong Kong where he forked out thousands of dollars in penalties because the show ended hours over time. But it really felt like it DID go overtime. That is the power of a great concert. It leaves you wanting so much more. It leaves me feeling homesick, but in a good way, too.

Miss Saigon

Live at The Civic, May 20 Theatre Review by Nicola Monera

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(B+)

Peter Helliar

Live at Skycity Theatre, May 20 A mix between Romeo & Juliet and Moulin Rouge, Miss Saigon is an explosive love story between Chris, an American soldier and Kim, a naive Vietnamese prostitute. The two find love in each other during the rough times of the Vietnam War, only to be cruelly torn apart during the fall of Saigon. Believing that Chris will come back for her, Kim loyally waits for three years, hoping and dreaming of his return. Their struggles to find each other are truly heart wrenching, with twists and turns that leave you speechless.

The songs are beautiful, powerful, catchy and hilarious with a cast that almost did them justice.

While the majority of the company performed effectively, I was a little disappointed with Christiana Zhu’s performance of Kim. Don’t get me wrong; she is a great performer with a beautiful voice, but unfortunately, she seemed to struggle with a couple of the many high notes her character demanded at times. Apart from this, the rest of the cast’s talent was undeniable.

John Hellyer’s performance of the slick and sleazy engineer left the crowd crying with laughter, Russell Dixon’s performance of Chris was effortlessly stunning and Tina Cross’ performance of prostitute Gigi was nothing short of fabulous.

Visually, the show is excellent. In fact, never in all my years of going to musical performances at The Civic have I ever seen such a spectacle. The sets were extravagant and effective, and their use of a helicopter (yes that’s right, a real helicopter!) puts the Phantom of the Opera’s chandelier falling act to shame.

However in terms of execution, the show really failed to tidy up around the edges, which for me was extremely disappointing. Some of the people were having microphone sound issues, which was distracting and difficult to listen to. And more embarrassingly, a props guy was accidently revealed in the light when changing the set and he ran off humiliated. It ruins the entire credibility and professionalism of a production when the crew does not seem prepared or organised, especially on their opening night.

Apart from this, the show would have been a knock out. A breathtaking story, a visual spectacular and some stunning performances leaves Miss Saigon as one of the must-sees of the year. This show is recommended for theatre/ musical junkies, soap opera lovers or anyone who wants to see some great music, dance and entertainment. Let’s just hope they sort their technical issues out.

Comedy Review by Samantha McQueen (B) A comedy show all about sports wouldn’t normally have me rushing for tickets, but when the name Peter Helliar – best known for Petespace on Rove – was mentioned I was quick to snap some up.

From the moment Peter Helliar comes bounding out to Eye of the Tiger, you know you are in for light-hearted topics and easy chuckles. Helliar is much like a grown up child; he frequently laughs at his own jokes – sometimes before he’s even told them – and bounces around the stage like a kid who has reached the peak of his sugar high. So it’s only fitting that much of his material is focused on the more immature antics in the sporting world. A fictional plane ride highlights the recent Australian athlete mess ups, including a photo involving a dog and male genitalia. The most disturbing thing was that even though the plane ride is fictional, the incidents were all true. Oh Australia, you wonder why we mock you.

The topics Helliar has chosen to make up this one hour show are all told with the slightest hint of crazed obsession in his voice. You can just picture the moment when Australia found out Qatar had bet them to the 2022 Football World Cup with the way Helliar describes it, right down to the gold and green tracksuits.

There are numerous mentions of the upcoming World Cup and his new idol, Buck Shelford (although it’s hard to believe he didn’t know about that testicle before this year).

Helliar has a down-to-earth charm that lets him do a stand on stage and talk about sport show (with the exception of a suburban paper’s front page) and have everyone in the audience cackling right till the end (one woman towards the back couldn’t get enough). There are moments when Helliar dives into repetitive territory – traffic lights can only be so funny – but he generally knew when the audience was ready for something new.

Helliar’s World of Balls had jokes that would satisfy both the hardened sports’ nuts and newbies like me. It may not have stirred the loudest laughs of the festival, but it was the perfect way to end three weeks of fun and frivolity – on a sugar high.

issue 12 2011

Spot the Difference

Correctly identify the five differences in the two photos then and drop your entry circle them into your nearest Au SM office, or the bo of the red debate sta x on the side nds, or post to deba te PO Box 6116 We before 12pm Thurs llesley St day. What’s up fo r grabs? Two “squawk vouchers for Velve burgers” t Burger on Fort St, Auckland CBD. Co to our issue 11 win ngratulations ner, Benjamin Mugis hu of City campus.

Name Phone # Email Campus

WORDFIND

vegetarian hangover lady gaga thai playstation www.ausm.org.nz

cars syria bay birthday destress 33.

Tatiana Mahina

Diploma in Travel and Tourism

What do you think of the latest craze, planking?

I think it’s cool. I was gonna try it in the quad How many hours of study prep have you done so far?

One second What do you consider to be the best study snacks?

Vanilla Coke. It tingles my heart What was the last book you read (and how long ago did you read it)?

The Bible. On Monday How many times do you hit snooze before getting up in the morning?

Three times

Tapu Fimau

Certificate of Applied Science

What do you think of the latest craze, planking?

I think it’s stupid How many hours of study prep have you done so far?

I don’t know What do you consider to be the best study snacks?

Icecream cause it gets me thinking What was the last book you read (and how long ago did you read it)?

The Phantom of the Opera in year seven How many times do you hit snooze before getting up in the morning?

Twice

Gardie Muelu

Bachelor of Graphic Design

What do you think of the latest craze, planking?

Stupid. I mean, I like the funny ones but the height ones, man, that’s insane. It’s craziotic - if that’s a word How many hours of study prep have you done so far?

I was at uni till 1am last night. I have to stay late because I can’t do my work at home. So I just make the most of it here. On average I leave uni around 10ish.

What do you consider to be the best study snacks?

Primo banana shake cause it’s banana. And it keeps me alive What was the last book you read (and how long ago did you read it)?

A Love Worth Giving by Max Lucado. I read it for the first time last year and I’m reading it again now How many times do you hit snooze before getting up in the morning?

Probably three times

Chloe Vakalahi

Certificate of Applied Science

What do you think of the latest craze, planking?

People have too much time on their hands How many hours of study prep have you done so far?

I do like two hours a day What do you consider to be the best study snacks?

M&Ms cause there’s heaps of them What was the last book you read (and how long ago did you read it)?

Born to Win. Two weeks ago How many times do you hit snooze before getting up in the morning?

Three times

Watchout for debate around campus - you could be the next micro-celeb!

34.

Christopher Wallace

Bachelor of Graphic Design

What do you think of the latest craze, planking?

I think it’s stupid, ay. Put more of that time into having a drink up How many hours of study prep have you done so far?

I don’t know What do you consider to be the best study snacks?

Smoking. Because it’s the only thing I crave What was the last book you read (and how long ago did you read it)?

The Bible last Sunday How many times do you hit snooze before getting up in the morning?

I don’t have an alarm. My grandma’s the alarm. She smacks me

Georgiie Keats

Bachelor of Engineering

What do you think of the latest craze, planking?

It’s crack up How many hours of study prep have you done so far?

Oh shit. Not much, ay What do you consider to be the best study snacks?

Kebab. Because it’s healthy?

What was the last book you read (and how long ago did you read it)?

The Statics book – in class How many times do you hit snooze before getting up in the morning?

Every five minutes for about an hour issue 12 2011

Chips - $3.50 Wedges - $4.50 Kumara chips - $4.50 Hot Dogs - $2.00

Fish & chips - $5.50 Hot dog & chips - $5.00 Chicken & chips - $6.80 Onion rings & chips - $4.50

Sausage & chips - $3.50

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