debate issue 14, 2011 by Debate Magazine

issue 14 2011

University survival Kit

A guide to Re:orientation

Sick Leave According to Alasdair thompson

Monster reviews section

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issue 14 2011

cover.pdf

1/07/11

1:41 PM

ISSUE 14 2011 5 Editorial 6 Letters/Creative Corner 8 Sport

Scott Moyes critiques the Black Caps and their not-so-surprise new cricket captain

9 News Quiz 10 How To/Recipe 12 Pres Sez/AuSM Update 13 WG Building 14 The Price of Greed 15 Sick Leave According to Alasdair Thompson 16 Re:Orientation Guide

on the cover

ReOrientation by Deanne Antao

editor

Samantha McQueen samantha.mcqueen@aut.ac.nz

designers

Deanne Antao

sub-editor Alisha Lewis

contributors

advertising contact

Kate Campbell kate.campbell@aut.ac.nz

printer

This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUCKLAND STUDENT MOVEMENT AT AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY INCORPORATED (“AuSM”). Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly. Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AuSM.

disclaimer

Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, PMP Print or its subsidiaries.

debate is a member of

Includes bios of Chopper, Urzila Carlson, Ewen Gilmour and House of Shem

18 Re:Orientation Gig Guide 20 X-Men: A Breakdown Page Orwell looks at how the comic translated to the big screen.

21 New Zealand Film Festival 22 Tall vs. Short

Selena La Fleur and Rebecca Lee debate the merits of height in today’s society

23 Ebooks: The Future? 24 Columns 25 Agony Aunt 26 University Survival Kit

Alisha Lewis looks at some of the essentials for those uni first timers

28 Fashion

Heather Rutherford looks at the downfall of the ‘capital of fashion’

29 Young and Hungry

Katie Montgomerie interviews the writer behind ATC’s latest production

30 Reviews 33 Spot the Difference 34 Suggestions/Horoscopes

PMP Print Ltd.

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issue 14 2011

directory

ven though I’m less than 18 months out of university (and I come here every day for work) I still find myself looking back in nostalgia at what will become, for most of you, “the greatest years of your life”. I feel like such a grandma, starting sentences with “when I was in first year” like it was in the 1700s, rather than 2007, and staring in awe at the students who hit town on a Wednesday night in the middle of winter in strapless minis and towering heels and then roll into class at 8am the next day. On a Wednesday night, I’m cuddled up in my flannelette pyjamas and my big fluffy slippers watching The Big Bang Theory and Cougar Town, sipping milos instead of mojitos (can students afford mojitos?). Why the nostalgia? Well, since you asked… I was looking back at old emails the other day and found one from a friend who was studying engineering down in Canterbury, dated September 3, 2007. We were talking about assignments and he couldn’t believe I had a 1500 essay due in at the end of month. “Please tell me that’s some sort of typo,” he wrote. Looking back at that email, I couldn’t help but laugh. Back then, I thought 1500 words took a month. Nowadays, I’m doing that in a few hours (let’s just forget about APA). University life is an exaggerated form of reality. There is no such thing as Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm (although it’s more like 8am-6pm). For a surprising amount of you, three day weekends are the norm, and anything less than 12 weeks of holidays a year is insane (and don’t even think about trying to study during summer). Afternoon naps, a concept not practiced since kindergarten, will be reinstated by some, and midday beers or Wednesday night town sessions will in no way seem like alcoholism. Students may physically look and sound like adults, but really, most of you are no more than overgrown 13 year olds with a slightly bigger tolerance – and that’s a good thing. This is the time to still act like the youths that society still looks at you as. Your parents may have scolded you for taking a spontaneous trip to the snow and then having to borrow $200 from them for food and rent, but secretly they’re jealous they couldn’t just leave at the drop of the hat, even though some have the income behind them to do so. They’ve got jobs and bills to think about – responsibilities students apparently dream of at university (seriously, why?). They need to apply for annual leave, knowing it’ll mean less time off at Christmas and set out-of-offices explaining why they’re not replying to emails within 10 minutes. They need to find someone to feed Muffy or Poopsy or whatever ridiculous pet name they have and make sure all the bills are paid and the mail is put on hold, so it doesn’t clutter up their letterbox. Not with students; they just load up their suitcases, make sure they’ve packed their phone and charger and away they go. (Well, so the fairytale goes.) Live by your emotions. Most of you won’t experience life’s highest highs or lowest lows at university, but your heart will trick you into thinking you are. The girl you dated for six months will break your heart FOREVER and that end of year party which ended in nudity and permanent marker will be the GREATEST NIGHT EVER. A 1500 word essay due in four weeks is THE HARDEST THING IN THE WORLD and you will never be MORE STRESSED IN YOUR LIFE by the concept of two exams on the same day. Live for the exaggeration, the emotions and the season long holidays. Because before you know it, your life will be punctuated by routine, responsibility and ridiculous pet names.

reception

City Campus Level 2, WC Building 921 9805 8am-5pm Mon-Thurs 8am-4pm Fri North Shore Campus Level 2, AS Building 921 9949 8.30am-3pm Mon-Fri Manukau Campus MB107 921 9999 ext 6672 9am-3.30pm Mon-Thurs

management

Sue Higgins General Manager 921 9999 ext 5111 sue.higgins@aut.ac.nz

representation

Veronica Ng Lam AuSM Student President 921 9999 ext 8571 vnglam@aut.ac.nz

advocacy

Nick Buckby Liaison Manager 921 9999 ext 8379 nick.buckby@aut.ac.nz

marketing/events

Rebecca Williams Marketing Manager 921 9999 ext 8909 rebecca.williams@aut.ac.nz

advertising

Kate Campbell Marketing & Sales Coordinator 921 9999 ext 6537 kate.campbell@aut.ac.nz

media

Samantha McQueen Publications Co-ordinator 921 9999 ext 8774 samantha.mcqueen@aut.ac.nz

sports

Melita Martorana Sports Team Leader 921 9999 ext 7259 melita.martorana@aut.ac.nz

vesbar

Zane Chase Vesbar Manager 921 9999 ext 8378 zane.chase@aut.ac.nz For a full list of contact details plus profiles of AuSM staff & student executive and information on clubs visit:

www.ausm.org.nz

Hope Cieran Marshall

Space-Doggity Tamsyn Solomon

A distant thunder on a silent night A child’s scream and her mother’s cry A twinge of pain mixed with the smell of fear One can tell that the end is near. A shooting star falls from the sky Sparkling Hope she has arrived A whispering of leaves, a flicker of light She dances and sings, brightening up the night. Engulfed in pain at what she saw An empty world filled with war At seeing this a tear fell And washed away the remains of hell. The angels cried is she one of us? But this girl called Hope she had done enough Up she flew back in the sky Sparkling and watching her world go by. For’ Joy

Letter of the week wins two movie tickets for Event Cinemas!

Letter of the week: Dear Debate,

debate letters policy: Letters need to make it into debate’s mailbox before Wednesday, 3pm each week for the following issue. You must give us your name when submitting letters to be eligible for letter of the week, but you can use a pseudonym for publication if you wish. Any letters longer than 250 words may be subjected to editing. Spelling and grammar will not be corrected. The editor reserves the right to decline without explanation. Most importantly, the views contained on the letters page do not necessarily represent the views of AuSM. Send your letters to debate@aut.ac.nz or if you want to kick it old school, PO Box 6116, Wellesley St, Auckland.

funny (fake) news section. The cover of the last issue was so childish, it asked the reading to fold the page University of Auckland students to half to form a penis. Debate on from across the road normally the other hand has relevant articles think our university is better than that are interesting and informative yours in many ways. AUT is often - I loved the little articles on green the subject of numerous jokes at faculty revews (plays), especially law living. Craccum continues to spew out stories on vampires, zombies school ones... However, I picked and other totally irrelevant things... up the latest edition of debate while walking through AUT with a Keep up the good work debate! and go Samantha McQueen! Craccum friend. After reading it from cover to cover, it’s easy to say that AUSA’s hasn’t had a female editor for like 10 Craccum totally sucks and pales in years - hence the testosterone filled pages. comparison to Debate. Craccum UoA student may be in full colour and the design looks pretty good but the content Dear Google, is rubbish!!! I can read an issue of I don’t want a gmail account, but I craccum in 5 minutes. There is can’t use Google+ without it? EVIL often nothing intellectual and the CONGLOMERATE! editors prize themselves for never Sincerely, publishing anything serious. One Hotmail user and proud of them is a comedian after all. We don’t have a news section but a

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issue 14 2011

www.ausm.org.nz

by Scott Moyes The supposed battle for the Blacks Caps captaincy was a load of hyped up bullshit. There was no contest at all; the decision to make Ross Taylor the Black Caps captain was made years before the announcement in June. Taylor hit the international scene with an impressive knock of 128 not out in March 2006. It was just his third one day international match. Finally it was safe for the New Zealand cricket selectors to uncover their eyes and watch the ball fly over the boundary rope. Ever since, they have been jacking off to the name Luteru Ross Poutoa Lote Taylor. To be fair, Ross Taylor is New Zealand’s best batsmen by a country mile. He has solid averages in tests and one day matches (41 and 36) for a total of nine centuries. It’s not just us who thinks he’s pretty choice either. Indian Premiere League franchise The Rajasthan Royals signed him up for $1.3 million a season; the most lucrative for a New Zealander in the league’s history. I might add that he’s a pretty solid slip fieldsman. However, the decision to make Ross Taylor the captain of the Black Caps was the wrong one. The best player in a team is often perceived to be the best candidate for captaincy. This has been proven wrong only too often. Look at the current England team who have thrived under the leadership of Andrew Strauss, who took over the team following the failed reign of Kevin Pietersin. Even the great Indian cricket team is littered with ex-captains who took on the role and failed to flourish with the burden of leading the team. Being the captain of a cricket team is a challenge I believe no other sport can compare to. Cricket is an extremely individualistic sport; you’re not judged on how many matches you won during your career. Cricket deals solely in averages, wickets and runs scored. There’s not a statistic that defines how hard you tried. There is a constant pressure to perform at a quality level as the captain of the team. Centuries are easily forgotten when you’re cleaned up by one or two good balls by Lasith Malinga and are walking back to the stands with a duck. If you’re not leading by example each week producing the goods, then your head will be off quicker than one of King Henry’s wives. Ross Taylor doesn’t need to be burdened with captaincy at this stage of his career. At 27 years of age he is no longer the new boy on the block,

but he already has enough responsibility in the team. He bats in the position of number four, generally held by the most complete batsmen in the team. For a number of years he has been forced to act as the senior batsmen in a team of fish flailing in the deep pond of international cricket. Instead of being able to trust his natural instincts and play with freedom, his game has already suffered thanks to the poor efforts of those around him. Taking further responsibility for their performances is not a responsibility Ross Taylor needs to deal with at this stage of his career. Look at how badly it aged Daniel Vettori; once the geeky bespectacled kid who could spin the ball and now the bearded man with an over-active tongue. I get this feeling that someone, somewhere in the Blacks Caps set up doesn’t like Brendan McCullum. I tend to think New Zealand cricket don’t want someone so outspoken at the head of the national team. The whole ‘drinking culture’ excuse sounds pathetic too. In Brendan McCullum you have a perfect captain. Being vocal is an asset any natural leader possesses. McCullum can always be heard chirping away behinds the stumps in his role as the team wicketkeeper. When shit hits the fan, you don’t want a captain who looks at his shoes and says sorry. You want Adolf marching up the umpire to lay down the law and stick up for the team. McCullum’s role as wicketkeeper is a major draw card in itself. The wicketkeeper stands in virtually the same position as the batsmen and therefore has the best perception of fielding arrangements and plans. McCullum has also established himself as our premiere opening batsmen. He’s no longer the handy boundary-belter coming in at number seven when the game has already been won or lost. He now holds a pivotal role in the batting line up which requires great concentration and leadership as to set the platform for the rest of the team. At 29 years of age and vastly more experienced than Taylor, the time is right to hand Brendan McCullum the reigns of this cricket team. With any luck, his enthusiasm will rub off on a few of the other members of the side. For too long has New Zealand cricket taken the conservative option to no great avail. I have no doubt that Ross Taylor will do the job adequately, but the Mac Attack just has a certain ring about it.

issue 14 2011

News Round Up Quiz Paul Henry is back on the airwaves, doing the drive show on which New Zealand radio station?

a) Newstalk ZB b) RadioLive c) More FM d) The Breeze

Which country is current tennis world number one Novak Djokovic from?

a) Spain b) Switzerland c) Serbia d) Czech Republic

According to Twitter, how many tweets are users sending each day?

a) 65 million b) 125 million c) 150 million d) 200 million

What is the name of the actress that replaced Megan Fox in Transformers: Dark of the Moon?

a) Blake Lively b) Rosie Huntington-Whitley c) Brooklyn Decker d) Alexa Chung

How many years did Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon spent on the Billboard 200?

a) 5 b) 8 c) 11 d) 14

a) Ernest Rutherford b) The Queen c) Sir Apirana Ngata d) Kate Sheppard According to Rolling Stone magazine, who is the reigning “Queen of Pop”? a) Taylor Swift b) Katy Perry c) Beyonce d) Lady Gaga Which is tallest; Auckland’s Skytower, Seattle’s Space Needle, Gold Coast’s Q1 Tower or Paris’ Eiffel Tower? a) Skytower b) Space Needle c) Q1 Tower d) Eiffel Tower Which NBA basketball team in America has won the most championship titles? a) Chicago Bulls b) LA Lakers c) Boston Celtics d)Miami Heat

Ma’a Nonu has just signed a two year contract with which Super Rugby team?

a) Blues b) Chiefs c) Highlanders d) Hurricanes

Who is on the New Zealand $50 note?

To the nearest 10,000, how many people live in Australia’s Gold Coast?

a) 590,000 b) 630,000 c) 780,000 d) 920,000 Who is the host of New Zealand’s Next Top Model?

Answers: B, C, D, B, A, D, A, A, B, C, C, D, A, B.

Where can I go to get help with finding some books and articles on my assignment topic?

On my paper outline there is a reading list. How do I find the items on the reading list?

a) Sara Tetro b) Colin Mathura-Jeffree c) Nigel Barker d) Charlotte Dawson

Apple co-founder Steve Jobs also co-founded what other well known company?

a) DreamWorks b) Pixar Animation Studios c) Dell computers d) Yahoo The women’s Black Sticks received what medal at the Champions Trophy in the Netherlands earlier this month? a) Gold b) Silver c) Bronze d) They didn’t receive a medal

Catalogue and library Databases workshops run from July through August at all three campuses.

www.aut.ac.nz/library/study/workshops

by Moon Lee

by Alicia Crocket

Semester two has begun. Perhaps this is your first semester at AUT or perhaps you spent last semester saying “I really must join the gym” but you never did. Being physically active has many benefits, not only for your physical wellbeing, but you also get mental and social benefits from being a gym member. As an AUT fitness instructor, I have talked to many students around the campus about joining the gym. It seems that some people are reluctant to join the gym because they don’t know what to expect inside. So if you’ve wondered what joining a gym is all about, here’s a quick guide about how to get the most out of your gym membership. make it social | Team up with a training partner to challenge and inspire you in your fitness training. Research shows that people with training partners tend to achieve better than training on their own! If you need more than one training partner to keep you motivated, fitness classes are definitely your best choice. The group fitness instructors and other gym members would keep you up and going for sure (the Monday express circuit class is free for all). get a consult | It’s best to start your training with a fitness consultation, especially if you are a newbie to gym workout; ‘figuring it out for yourself’ is a sure-fire route to an ACC claim. The AUT trainers are great at finding a training programme that meets your needs. catch up on some tv time while you’re there | Boredom is no longer an excuse to avoid exercise. The screens built in our cardio machines can show TV shows and movies. You can watch clips while working out on treadmill machines, cross-trainer and bikes.

| The gyms run a series of monthly challenges to test your fitness level, from strength to agility, endurance to power. It improves your exercise techniques and knowledge, which ensure you train well and stay injury-free!

make it competitive

| When the sun is bright and the weather is good, get aside and pound the pavement. You can join the AUT running club on Sunday mornings or go out on your own around your neighbourhood. It’s a fun way to discover the city and meet new people, especially for those who are new to Auckland.

try exercising in the great outdoors

There’s something to suit everyone at the gym, from the machines that look like guillotines and huge mean-looking dudes lifting weights to group fitness classes that you and your mates can have fun at during lunch or after class. Starting is the hardest part, once you get into the gym a few times, you will feel a lot more comfortable about the gym. It’s a lot easier to keep going once you’ve started, once you into a good routine, you will feel uncomfortable not going!

10.

Serves 4 Dairy free, gluten free if you use GF sausages and GF stock Cost per serve: $1.75 with smoked chorizo or $1.15 per serve with frankfurters

When I was growing up my mum used to make soup out of whatever veges were left in the fridge before shopping day. If we had them, she’d add some frankfurters for a little bit of something extra. Sadly, she called this junk soup, so it was never really a favourite for me growing up. I mean who wants to eat junk soup? Since I left home, I find that I now make soup out of whatever veges are left in the fridge before shopping day. I’ve adapted the original recipe and added lentils and I tend to put in a smoked chorizo or kransky sausage rather than the frankfurter. So here’s my not-so-much junk soup that I make on cold winters days when I can’t be bothered going to the supermarket! Ingredients 100g brown or green lentils (NOT red) 1 onion, chopped 1 Tbsp oil 3 small potatoes, cut into 3cm chunks 2 carrots, cut into 2cm chunks 2 Tbsps tomato paste 2 smoked sausages (chorizo, kransky) or frankfurters 1 ½ tsps stock powder Any other soup veges (celery, pumpkin, kumara, leeks) Directions 1. Rinse and drain your lentils, looking out for stones or lentil shaped pieces of dirt 2. Sauté onion (with leeks and/or celery if you’re adding those) in a large saucepan or stock pan 3. Add lentils, potatoes and carrots (and any other root vegetables) and the stock powder 4. Add water so that it comes about 4-5cm above the level of the ingredients 5. Bring to the boil and simmer for about 20 minutes. If you get some frothy stuff on the top from the cooking lentils, that’s usual, just get a spoon and take it out of the pan. You can boil with the lid on or off depending on how soupy you want your dinner 6. Add the tomato paste and the sausages. Mix well and cook for another 10 minutes 7. Add pepper if you like for flavour and serve with some bread or toast

issue 14 2011

Thousands of students are hopping around Auckland… Are you? HOP helps you get around Auckland quickly and easily. And with savings off your cash bus fare, isn’t it about time you started hopping?

HOP. YOUR TICKET TO AUCKLAND

FIND OUT HOW TO GET A HOP AT MYHOP.CO.NZ

*HOP is available on all North Star, Go West, Waka Pacific, Metrolink and Link bus services. SNAPPER provides the payment and ticketing service for HOP on NZ Bus services. HOP cards with the www.ausm.org.nz SNAPPER logo can be used to pay for everyday items and can be topped up wherever you see a HOP or SNAPPER sign (some stores are ‘pay only’, e.g. SUBWAY® Restaurants). E-money top up charges in retail cost 25 cents. Refunds will not be available on card purchase or card top-up. Visit MYHOP.CO.NZ to view HOP retailers and to find out when different operators will start to accept HOP on board.

11.

Welcome to semester two and AuSM Re:Orientation. To ease you back into the swing of things, AuSM has organised a range of entertainment across all three campuses. Don’t miss your chance to see Health Franklin’s Chopper on July 27. He’ll be supported by Ewen Gilmour and Urzila Carlson in one massive night of comedy. Best of all, there is no cover charge! We are also bringing in a mega marquee for the event so it will go ahead rain or shine. We have also organised another evening of Bitchn’ Bingo at Vesbar. There are 10 rounds and 10 prizes up for grabs so you could take home a meat pack, gift vouchers, bar tabs or one of the other wicked prizes. No AuSM event would be complete without a free feed or two so we have ramped it up with hot potatoes, spare ribs, Mexican buffet and lots more. Make sure you check the timetable for the events happening on your campus. On behalf of the AuSM student executive and staff, I would like to wish you all the best for the semester ahead. Make sure you keep in touch with us and maximise the services we have available to you. Have fun

Veronica Ng Lam AuSM President 921 9999 ext 8571

veronica.nglam@aut.ac.nz

An AuSM refresher course

If you are a student at AUT University, you are a member of AuSM. AuSM is a not-for-profit organisation that provides services, opportunities, entertainment and support for all AUT students. We want you to have an enriching and successful time at AUT with plenty of opportunity to meet new people and enjoy yourself after class. AuSM also acts as an interface between students and the university so that your voice is heard and never forgotten.

AuSM services at a glance: Representation

• Student Executive Council • Representatives on committees through AUT • National campaigning

Support

• Free advocacy service • Food bank

12.

• Legal information • Free AUT student discount card • Lost property • Lockers • Discounted public transport • Student Job Search

Entertainment

• Orientation • Weekly Free Feeds • Clubs • Sports • Weekly events programmes • Vesbar • Battle of the Bands • Free movie screenings • Exam de-stress • Student lounges

Information

• debate magazine • AuSM website • Student diary • Wallplanner • Facebook • Twitter • Annual surveys and focus groups

12. issue 14 2011

For those of you who regularly visit the City campus, or for those AUT newbies, the muddy construction site currently known as ‘WG’ is impossible to miss. The large dominating cranes, the artistic works plastered on the surrounding hoardings, the endless sound of drilling and the constant sight of flouro jackets and gum boots have become familiar sights and sounds around campus since November 2010. So major construction is taking place, but what exactly is it that is going up behind those colourfully decorated hoardings? From February 2013, the muddy building site will have transformed in to a brand new state-of the-art learning precinct, regenerating the entire AUT University City campus as it is currently known. If you’re in your first year of study or thinking of returning to AUT for postgraduate studies – you are in for a real treat. Replacing the diggers and scaffolding will be a 12 storey tower and glass-roofed atrium. The main entry to the university will be from Mayoral Drive and once inside, students will find themselves standing inside a massive openspace plaza. There will be a number of brand new lecture theatres including the universities largest (seating up to 400 students), as well as one with a glass wall, allowing people walking by to peer in and watch both academic and students in action. The new complex will contain a multitude of flexible blended classrooms and collaborative social study areas. Think large comfortable couches and plasma TV’s on the walls; somewhere warm and dry to relax and catch up with friends in between classes or when Auckland decides to have a spontaneous weather meltdown. Instead of battling the elements outside, students will be able to grab a hot coffee or snack at the on-site café and sit and relax with their laptop or iPad and surf the web using the free wifi in public areas. There will also be exhibition spaces, links to the conference centre and student service centre, and many different function areas for use by wider Auckland audiences. And Communication students, listen up: inside the new complex will be the most advanced and contemporary Communication School in the country, providing access to the very latest in technology. Facilities will include a screen and television studio, motion capture and chroma key studio, performance studio, radio station, sound studios, edit suites, and digital media computer labs. No longer will you have to run from building to building, or battle the lifts to get to the 15th floor; all the facilities will be under one highlymodern roof. Completing AUT’s Mayoral Drive frontage, this innovative new precinct will create linkages with most buildings on the City campus, including WA, WE, and WF. David Mahon, project senior architect at Jasmax (the architects creating the building) says this development will give the City campus a true centre. “It’s going to be a vibrant hub, somewhere where students can study, be social and use state of the art technology; it’s the crossroads of the whole campus. “It’s going to be on a scale that will surprise many people - think along the lines of a civic space like Britomart. It will completely transform the university.” Over the next 18 months, you will see a huge transformation take place. Like a slowed down time lapse video, you are going to see the building go up piece by piece, floor by floor. There will be some noteworthy milestones, which we will be sure to shout about, to ensure you don’t miss out on being part of this exciting development. We want to make sure you are kept informed – because after all, you’re the ones who are going to benefit! To keep you involved, we’ll be running interactive competitions, with some great prizes up for grabs. We’ll be posting heaps more information online too - so make sure you keep an eye on Facebook and our website over the coming months. If you want a sneak preview of the new precinct, visit www.aut.ac.nz/futureme and take the virtual tour through the new WG! This is a really exciting time to be a student at AUT University. www.ausm.org.nz

by Emily Davies Emily Davies is a Communications Advisor at AUT

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13.

and shaky mortgages. Financiers took those shaky mortgages and made them into “mortgage-backed securities”. Then, they took those securities and sliced them up into “collateralised debt obligations, which got sold off and repackaged again and again”. During the process, investors cash gets “leveraged further and further, to the point at which the whole thing is based on little more than vapour” – basically paper wealth that can vanish in an instant with a market collapse. And collapse it did, in October 2008 with the bankruptcy of some of America’s leading insurance agencies such as AIG. These collapses caused a bout of frenzied panic collection of whatever cash reserves people had stored. This hurried hoarding subsequently froze the global credit market and is now affecting the overall economy in which everyone – CEOs and taxi drivers alike – lives. Those ‘fat cat’ executives, some of whom earned around $1 million a week, found their ‘cigars and brandy’ lifestyles come to a shuddering halt, as the house of cards tumbled under the weight of America’s debt. Yet while they may have lost their million dollar pay packages, it was the middle to lower class bracket who faced the brunt of the ‘big people’s’ decisions. Retirement accounts that millions count on for

one man’s greed. But in August 2006, over three years after America’s invasion of Iraq, Bush admitted he had ‘made a mistake’ – a fatal mistake that had already taken the lives of thousands of Iraqi civilians and hundreds of US soldiers – saying, “we thought he (Saddam Hussein) had weapons of mass destruction. It turns out he didn’t”. Bush also conceded that Iraq had “nothing” to do with the 9/11 attacks, thus pretences for the ‘Bush/Cheney War in Iraq’ were one hundred per cent false. Unfortunately, by this time, war between Iraq and America was well underway. The people left to deal with Bush’s blunder were the US soldiers and the US civilians financing their countries pointless war efforts. The same pattern of behaviour can be seen when looking at the issue of climate change. As globalisation and consumerism spreads across our rapidly developing world, there are growing opportunities for the rich and powerful to increase their wealth. Unfortunately, this has come at a cost to the environment. As industrial avenues grow, so too do the pollution levels emitted from factories and companies mass-producing various goods and services, such as the mining industry, namely in Asian areas like Mainland China. Factories are releasing heat-trapping carbon dioxide emission that poses serious threats to our health, economy and environment. As the earth grows steadily warmer, we witness the melting

The small people – cleaning up the mess that the big people make by Alisha Lewis

On April 4, 1967, Martin Luther King delivered a speech in New York City, speaking of his abhorrence of the Vietnam War, saying it was “but a symptom of a far deeper malady within the American spirit”. This “malady” King refers to, is greed, which in the 21st century has come to meet some of its most fatal conclusions. In the end however, human greed always backfires. Yet in a twist of fate, the greedy never have to deal with the havoc they wreak. Never has this idea been more poignant or relevant than now, in the midst of a world economic crisis, as America continues to wage war against Iraq and as the earth is battered by the harsh realities of global warming. At the source of each of these problems lie the greedy; those rich and powerful few who, as a result of their wealth, were in the position to make decisions on behalf of the rest of the human race. Political blog ‘AlterNet’ published an article titled Wall Street Hustlers Built a $100 Trillion House of Cards and Stuck You with the Fallout. This refers of course, to the economic downturn following the dramatic plunge in America’s Wall Street stock exchange. For years, stock brokers and insurance agencies – such as the now infamous ‘Freddie Mac’ and ‘Fannie May’ – have been brokering irresponsible deals

14.

their family’s future are now smaller. In order to deal with this escalating problem, the Emergency Economic Stabilisation Act of 2008, commonly referred to as the bailout of the US Financial System, was enacted on October 2, 2008. The law authorises the United States Secretary of the Treasury to spend up to US$700 billion to purchase “distressed assets, especially mortgage-backed securities”, from the nation’s banks. Republican Senator McConnell described it as being a “rescue plan designed to shield millions of Americans from shockwaves of a problem they didn’t create”. Yet the American economy is in deep debt, so where did all this ‘bailout’ money come from? None other than those “millions of Americans” who are now paying, by way of taxes, the price of the decisions of an elite few. The sense of injustice is just as evident when you look at the American war against Iraq, dubbed ‘the war against terror’ by President George W. Bush. One of the suspected motives for the US occupation of Iraq was President Bush’s intended control of Iraq’s oil reserves – just as the world price of oil was on the rise. However, the President maintained the pretence that the invasion was due to Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein’s illegal production of “weapons of mass destruction” and his alleged link to the 9/11 attacks. While the Bush administration ‘waged war’ against Iraq safely from the confines of the White House in Washington, thousands of US soldiers were deployed into the war zone to fight on behalf of

of the polar ice caps which, in turn, causes sea levels to rise. Environmental website ‘The Green Filter’ has reported that Tuvulu, a small group of islands near Australia, is already experiencing rising sea levels as a direct result of global warming. Tuvulu natives have reportedly approached the Australian government twice for help but have been offered none. This small nation is bearing the consequences of the world’s industrialist’s actions. The people stepping up to the plate and fighting to prevent global warming are generally in no way powerful or wealthy. Organisations around the world such as Greenpeace, are taking on the ‘climate challenge’ and everyday working class people are donating their own money and time to support such causes. On ‘The Green Filter’ message boards, a number of people left comments expressing their desire to help the environment, asking “what can I do to help stop global warming? What legal organisations can I join?”. Meanwhile, the tycoons of the world continue to emit carbon dioxide into the earth’s atmosphere – a gas that will linger for thousands of years afterwards, adding to the thick layer of pollution already surrounding our planet. And as they continue to increase their wealth in this way, the rest of us are left to try and clean up the mess they are making.

issue 14 2011

Sick Leave According to Alasdair Thompson by Nicole Brown

Green MP Catherine Delahunty is getting behind this cause – she introduced a member’s bill on June 22 that seeks to amend the current details of the Equal Pay Act. Despite the Act being effective in its initial implementation in 1972, employment law has since changed and the Act no longer reflects this. If this bill goes ahead, it will provide publicly available statistical information relating to the rates of remuneration for women. Essentially this means that the Equal Pay Act would be given credibility as employers would be required to record more information on the gender and pay of their employees, and unions would then have authority to monitor these figures. As well as this, women could analyse the statistics nationally to get a better idea of pay rates, specifically per occupation as it varies by area. The member’s bill also eliminates any opportunity for discrimination by employers, something which the current law leaves open for the taking. To support this amendment in the real world, the value put on women’s jobs and the attitude to women in the workplace, must continue to change. Unarguably the skills and knowledge brought to a job vary by gender, as both have different life experience; so why do employers

not make the most of this? If women were to be rewarded with the same pay as men, they are more likely to feel appreciated. Ultimately, this means they are less likely to take leave as the higher remuneration for work allows them to have adequate child care and the pay rates mean they want to stay in their job. This attitude also has to extend to the positions available to women. Emigrate NZ found in their research that on average, most New Zealand company’s higher level positions were held by men, with women in lower or middle level jobs. By taking these small steps, New Zealand can achieve the equality that women deserve in the work place whether it be in regards to equal pay or a fairer attitude towards women in employment. Provided we were the country to first give women the vote, why stop the privileges when it comes to pay? • In September 2010, the average hourly rate for males was $27.26, whereas for females it was $23.93. • The gender pay gap is an international issue; in Europe women’s gross hourly earnings are 17.4 per cent less than men’s. • NZ has a high number of women working in female dominated areas; 47 per cent of women work in areas that consist of 80 per cent+ female employees.

ight about now, it would be pretty embarrassing to be the (at the time of print) current CEO of the Employers and Manufactures Association. Alasdair Thompson however, doesn’t seem to share the view despite having caused a reasonable public outcry in the past few weeks. Alasdair, as any good CEO commenting publically on a national issue would, disregarded statistics and went on to bash women taking more sick leave than men. Despite “knowing it was an awful thing to say, but true”, he stuck by his opinion that women take more sick days due to their once a month “sick problems” and tending to their children. It is a shame that he didn’t stop to check his own organisations opinions on the matter before making his crazy remarks (that’s going to be one awkward board meeting). When it comes down to facts, yes women do take more sick leave annually, however in 2010, this was only 1.6 days more than men. So yes, one point to Alasdair. But what are the real reasons behind this slight increase? I’m pretty sure they’re not menstrual and to my knowledge the flu isn’t gender specific. I do admit though that the average female sick period is not just down to self-illness. Domestic responsibilities are historically a female role when it comes to taking leave from work, so of course this has a huge influence on attendance. Maternity leave is available to women to have bambinos, but what about sick children down the line? There is a definite need for flexibility in gender responsibilities. How can society expect there to be equal gender sick leave if there are additional accountabilities for women? If unions and employers were to work together to find a way for this to happen, then there is a possibility that absence due to sick leave could become equal for both genders. When addressing the need for this flexibility in gender responsibilities, unequal pay needs to be looked at. Does the responsibility of looking after sick children fall on the female because of higher pay rates for men? In 2010, the Human Rights Commission identified that every sector excluding one area had a pay decrease for women and that the gaps between pay were anywhere from three to 38 per cent.

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15.

HOUSE OF SHEM

Fans of the reggae genre will already know House of Shem; they’ve been around for seven years, two albums and countless tours around New Zealand, Australia and the Pacific Islands. The eight piece is lead by Carl Perkins, who has been part of influential reggae bands Aotearoa Reggae Band, Herbs, Mana and The Twelve Tribes Band NZ before creating House of Shem. A bit of a family affair, two of his sons – Te Omeka and Isaiah – are vocalists, keyboardists and write some of the band’s material as well, along with up and coming artist Karl Thomas, drummer Kaya Webster, bassist Alma Rei and guitarist Roy Venkataraman. All are seasoned veterans in their own right. Carl has more than 30 years experience writing and performing reggae music; Kaya has been playing the drums since he was eight-years-old; Alma considers himself a veteran, having been a part of one of the first reggae bands in New Zealand and Roy played with The Wailers for years before joining House of Shem. They recorded their second album last year with Errol Brown, who has worked with Bob Marley & The Wailers, Rita Marley, Burning Spear and Third World (to name a few), in Bob Marley’s Tuff Gong studios in Jamaica. It seems having the reggae history around them helped their music; Island Vibrations debuted at number one on the official New Zealand music charts and iTunes when it released in March this year. But their real passion lies in live performances. Since the release on their debut album in 2008 – Keep Rising – House of Shem has been touring all around New Zealand, playing at all the big festivals; Big Day Out, Rhythm and Vines, Phat ’08 and Ragamuffin. They also played at the Australian contingent of Ragamuffin, alongside Lauren Hill, Shaggy and Steel Pulse. They also have a large Pacific Island and New Caledonia fan base, and they all feature on House of Shem’s touring schedule. Having played together for more than seven years now, their tight sound, sweet harmonies and relaxed vibe makes the perfect act to headline AuSM’s reggae night. You’ll forget all about winter jamming to House of Shem.

16.

URZILA CARLSON

t sounds like a cliché, falling into a career by accident. But that’s exactly how South African native Urzila Carlson found herself on stage at The Classic, performing in the first round of RAW Quest, a comedy contest that looks for new talent. That – and peer pressure. “I got, as a leaving gift [from a job]… a coffee maker and a fake contract to come to an open mic night at The Classic, because they figured I was funny.” Not knowing it was a contest, she initially didn’t want to return to the next round, but after some convincing she thought “why not?” and ended up making the finals. She may not have won the top prize, but people started booking her for gigs and now, three years later, she’s doing gigs most nights – a prospect she still finds surprising. “Every time somebody books me I’m like ‘really?’,” she said. “As long as people keep booking me, I’ll keep doing it.” In her 30s, she’s done a fair bit job-wise before settling on making people laugh as a career choice. Aside from advertising, which she was doing when she started comedy, she’s been a nanny and worked as an English second language teacher. But her most memorable job came just last winter, when she took a job at Auckland’s Pelican Club – although she’s quick to point out that she wasn’t there to test out a new career path. “I saw the vacancy and I thought ‘god, this would be so interesting, I’m going to ring them up’. But it was purely for comedic purposes, but then once I got there it was tragic. I felt so sorry for the girls that were there and I just thought, ‘god, I can’t do this, I’ll kill myself’.”

Carlson uses her own life experiences with a few embellishments to get laughs – storytelling, she calls it. Her latest show, which she performed at this year’s comedy festival, was about lying, and in the 20 minutes I spoke to her, I heard some real porkies. The biggest was one she told her mother at 11, after her attempt at smoking in their newly renovated sleep out – which had been built for her grandmother - led to half their house being burnt to the ground. “I was smoking and then my mother called me in and I flicked the cigarette into what I thought was the water. It wasn’t, it was turpentine. I went out and my mother sent me on an errand to the lady next door and when I got to the gate I was like ‘what the hell did she say?’ and when I turned around I just saw the flames and stuff coming out of the back of the whole section that they had just redone and the back, the sleep out, my brother’s room, the bathroom, everything just flames.” Not wanting to get a hiding, she told her mother she didn’t know what happened, but less than 24 hours later she came clean. Now in her 30s, she’s still waiting for that beating. Even though she’s won a few awards in her three years gigging, including best female comedian at last year’s Comedy Guild Awards, she doesn’t place much weight on the accolades. After all, she says, Rhys Darby has been nominated several times for the Billy T and Fred awards and never won it, and “he’s doing pretty damn well for himself”. Aside from being a newbie in the industry, she also has to go up against the ‘female comedian’ stereotype. “When people get like that I don’t think they’re very educated comedy wise. They don’t get it, because you get shit male comedians and you get shit female comedians. It’s not a male, female thing. You’re either funny or you’re not.” Although she’s never gigged in South Africa, she notes that she can get away with a lot more stuff with New Zealand audiences than she would in her hometown. “[South African comedy is] very clean, they don’t do anything religious, politics, it’s very PC. Some stuff I use, you could never use in South Africa, you’ll get killed. Even “oh god”, you can’t do that over there. “It’s a lot of freer [in NZ] and people aren’t so ready to spot if you’re saying something wrong.” Luckily, she can throw the clean stuff out the window at the upcoming gig, knowing that Chopper is the on the bill. “I don’t even think my filthiest stuff comes close to his.”

issue 14 2011

HEATH FRANKLIN’S CHOPPER

It seems hard to imagine that an ex-criminal who used to use bolt cutters to remove toes from drug dealers would be a great comedy act, but Heath Franklin has managed to sell out shows in Australia, New Zealand and Europe doing just that, with his funny take on infamous Australian Mark “Chopper” Read. Franklin, now 29, was 23 and at university studying towards a degree in media studies when his fascination with Chopper started. He had seen the Eric Bana film about the ex-criminal too many times and his girlfriend urged him to create a character out of it. According to him, Chopper “seemed like a really interesting, conflicted and extreme personality; great fodder for some black comedy”, so he donned a filthy handlebar moustache, drew some fake tattoos and scars on his arms and starting dropping F bombs like nobody’s business. He put up a couple of

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videos on YouTube and got a great response; so good that he went straight down the comedy route once he graduated. “My manager said ‘you could sell out shows and take this on the road’.” Those shows have names like Harden the F**k Up, Make Deadshits History and most recently, Chopper’s Guide to Doing Life. A lot of his shows sound off the cuff, with almost a quarter pure interaction with the audience, but Franklin admits that it “unfortunately [takes] longer than an hour” to come up with material. He’s met the person behind his routine, but only once, in 2005, at a men’s magazine photo shoot. “I was dressed as my version of Chopper, and the thing that made feel the silliest was how many real scars and wounds there are on the other version of Chopper.” Off stage, Franklin looks unrecognisable without his mo’ and dark aviators. He also

rarely swears in real life; in an interview with TVNZ’s Breakfast last year Paul Henry was surprised (and perhaps slightly disappointed) that the bleep button wouldn’t be used in the interview. Franklin’s not the type of person to slip into the persona if people approach him when he’s out of costume – “if I’m not dressed as Chopper talking like Chopper makes me feel like a first class idiot” – and he doesn’t go pig hunting with girls in bikinis (apparently, people are surprised he doesn’t do that in real life). Aside from doing stand up, he has also brought the Chopper character to life on The Ronnie Johns Half Hour, an Australian sketch comedy show, and from that he got an opportunity to do something where he didn’t have to put fake hair on his face – be in a film. The movie (a Kiwi film, no less) was Predicament, which starred Rose McIver (The Lovely Bones), Conchord Jermaine Clement and Tim Finn. Franklin, who said he had “everything to prove” against seasoned actors, said the differences between stage and film were enormous. “On stage the reaction is instant. I waited nine months after filming Predicament to see how it turned out. Nine months of wondering if I had ruined the film!” He says he’s love to do more film, but unless he becomes “one of those rich eccentrics that produces bad films and puts themselves in the lead” he’ll continue doing comedy until a new opportunity comes along. There’s the risk that if the Chopper character ever gets retired that Franklin won’t have the same success in comedy, but while he admits he’s a bit worried, he’s quick to point out that beyond the ridiculous get up, the humour is all his own. “It’s about making sure people know that if they like Chopper they will probably like my sense of humour when I do other things.” And if he was to ever recreate another persona for the stage, who would it be? “I always loved Steve Irwin. He was another big character in real life.” There’s not much up his tattooed sleeve for the gig on July 27, but judging by his banter with the students at his show at the comedy fest, there’ll be some laughs at the audience rather than just from it. “If there are philosophy students there I should wail on them. Philosphy students were so annoying when I went to uni, being metaphysical and deep but just being irritating.” So make sure you get there nice and early… perhaps get a seat a couple of rows back though.

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issue 13 2011

According to him, he got his start in comedy purely by accident. In ‘95 a lot of bad stuff was happening in his life and he kept shrugging it off with laughter. His flatmate noticed and suggested that he should be a comedian. The next day there was an ad in the local paper looking for comedians. Call it fate, destiny or just pure coincidence, but from then on making people laugh was his job. We conduct our interview by phone, where he’s on the side of the road in the only place nearby that gets good reception. He’s on his way to “work” (he later admits it is tenpin bowling) and he’s had plenty of jobs to draw on when writing his shows. He’s worked as a stonemason, truck driver and in orchards and vineyards, and also has a trade certificate in automotive parts, which no doubt fuels his passion for cars and motorbikes (he talks affectionately of When Ewen Gilmour won the his Triumph which he stripped and inaugural Billy T award in 1997 there rebuilt). were around 50 comedians in all of Gilmour isn’t like most comedians. New Zealand. Nowadays, he reckons Rather than having a rolodex of there are around 500. But even with inspirational comedians to gush the massive influx of funny people about in interviews, Gilmour hates in the last 14 years, Gilmour has being asked who his favourite stood out as one of the icons in New comedians are. Zealand comedy, with his trademark “Comedians are only as funny as long hair and Westie attitude. the joke that they’re telling. Not the

one that they’ve just told, not the one that they’re about to tell; they’re as funny as the joke they are telling, as they’re telling it. Comedy’s instant. You live and die in a moment.” You also would never find him blaming the venue or the audience if he has an off night on stage. He doesn’t believe in having a “shit audience”. “You can’t have a shit audience. If the audience has paid to come along and see you, it’s not the audience’s fault you’re not funny. You know, ‘It’s not my type of crowd’. Hold up, your name was on the bill, they paid money to come and see you – it was your crowd.” This mentality seems to have paid off career wise. At the last New Zealand Comedy Guild Awards – a ceremony nobody ever remembers in its entirety, Gilmour admits – he was honoured with the decade award for best male comedian from 2000-2010. Since taking the stage to do stand up, he’s also built a career in politics. He used to be a Waitakere city councillor (a job he took “very, very seriously”) and he was a candidate for the SuperCity elections, before pulling out due to personal reasons. As soon as I get him started on political issues, he’s away.

“What I hate about the main party politics is that when they’re in power, they’re trying to make the country work; when they’re in opposition, all they do is put the other party down. I didn’t vote for somebody to go in there and just nitpick.” But don’t expect him to bring his political agenda into his shows; aside from a couple of political cracks in his comedy routines or a few jokes in council he kept the two very separate. “It’s like being a fighter pilot and a cartoonist. You don’t go ‘oh, better take a pad and a pen with me just in case I come up with a great cartoon while I’m fighting the enemy in the airplane’. You don’t do it.” And let’s not forget that Gilmour is also a certified marriage celebrant, having done 40 or 50 weddings and one civil union, and is already all booked up for January and most of February next year. After a few more minutes of talk of cars and motorbikes, I wrap up our interview, with no idea what material will on display on July 27, but confident it will be as funny as the man himself.

19. 19.

THE X-MEN

beast Professor X Charles Xavier is the genius geneticist behind the formation of the X-Men who helps young mutants to learn how to control their powers. You just know when a telepath will use their power, and actor James McAvoy remembers this well when we see his fingers hovering over his temple. There are no special effects to show telepathy (save for Emma Frost, see below) and the only way to show that you have a power is to hold your head and stare with a concentration like your life depended on it. We get to see him use Cerebro, albeit a prototype, for the first time. There is also a small mention of baldness in the film if you’re wondering why he still has hair.

Alex Summers was given the name Havok because of the destructive blasts of plasma that emit from his body. I would have loved to have seen blue tinted energy waves like in the comic books but I suppose the red connects him to his older brother Scott Summers, also known as Cyclops. This raises an issue (see below). Lucas Till shows the effort to control such massive energies as Alex has fun with his powers. A circular plate comes as an addition to his black and yellow suit with the purpose of controlling this overwhelming power.

havoc

magneto This guy has so many names but in the film he is Erik Lensherr, good friend of Charles Xavier. First Class looks into his past and how his tragic childhood affects his decisions and leads him to become one of the X-Men’s greatest enemy. Michael Fassbender portrays the volatile revenge driven man with great intensity showing Erik’s struggles with power and pain before he becomes the master of metal. We don’t see him with his red and purple helmet as well as his cape in this movie. Well… not yet.

by Page Orwell

Beast, also known as Henry `Hank’ McCoy, is sadly the only one from the original team to make it to the film. Nicholas Holt portrays Hank as a young genius mutant who is insecure about his abilities. His mutation advances in the film so we are able to see him as his more feral furry blue self. Just like in the original comics, we see him wearing the black and yellow outfit (reminiscent of Jack Kirby’s 1960s designs) regardless if it’s spandex or not.

havoc

Originally, I could never imagine Banshee being translated into film and just hoped that they wouldn’t have some crazy flying man screaming in your ears. Thankfully they were not as unimaginative as me. Like his fellow mutants, he puts on the black and yellow suit along with his famous striped ‘gliders’ which, with the perfect use of his sonic waves, help him to fly at an unimaginable speed.

With the previous movies, we are more accustomed to seeing Raven as a skilled ‘assassin’. In First Class, however, we get to see her as Raven Darkholme, yet another youngin insecure with how she looks.

Mystique

Moira MacTaggert A human affiliate of the X-Men and Charles Xavier’s love interest, she is a geneticist and a doctor who often works with the team. In the film, MacTaggert is an easily excitable CIA agent who is somewhat fascinated by genetic mutations.

I have waited for this movie to come out for so long (even before X-Men Origins: Wolverine). The movie is based on the X-Men: First Class comics which shows the life and times of five young mutants as well as integrating it with X-Men: Magneto Testament, which looks into Magneto’s past in a Nazi concentration camp. When you get down to the raw material in the first X-Men comic books, you’ll see that it’s all about the trials of being a teenager. Like all teenagers, the original First Class mutants had hook ups, break ups and the occasional school brawl that could potentially destroy a whole city, if not the world.

the black king I had to nudge my little sister who sat beside me just to ask, “did he say ‘Shaw’?” Sebastian Shaw, the Black King of the Hellfire Club is sadly unrecognisable. Then again, I was never really fond of his old aristocratic outfits.

Issues

The script had to be rewritten many times over when Christopher Nolan’s Inception came out. Why? The First Class script also had a dream scene with a revolving room but all 12 pages from the script had to be pulled out. These dream/nightmare sequences are a common thing that can be found in any X-Men comic, they were just too late to take it to the big screen. Another issue mentioned above… it seems that Alex Summers is far too old to be Scott’s younger brother, so I decided to do my research and found out that the producers are planning to make Alex Scott’s father… FATHER? Finding that out was a sad, sad day in

20.

the white queen

Azazel and Riptide

Emma Frost is the White Queen of the Hellfire Club who can transform her entire body into organic diamond. Mentioning telepathy earlier, it seems that special effects do their job to show that Ms Frost doesn’t need special motions to show that she is reading someone’s mind. The film showed Azazel’s ability to teleport without restrictions and Riptide’s ability to form miniature tornadoes with either a whirl of his hands or spinning his entire body. However, both of these Mutants possess more power than they showed in the film… far more power. my life. There are more issues concerning the ‘origins’ of some of the characters that we are shown in the film, but I think that’s enough negativity from me for one day. For all you weary fanboys and girls out there who are tired of seeing your favourite superheroes butchered on screen, give First Class a chance, a fresh new start for a fresh new generation. Some of you will like it, some of you won’t but I guess whatever will be, will be. Que Sera Sera. issue 14 2011

he New Zealand International Film Festival is here. I am excited. Aren’t you? If not, you should be, and here is why. The film fest is a chance to see some amazing, slightly-out-there films that normally don’t get the time of day in our mainstream cinemas. It’s a chance to embrace the ‘Incredibly Strange’ or ‘New Directions’ categories and see something you would normally turn your nose up at. Last year I saw The Portuguese Nun at the film fest and, as my first fest experience, it was an interesting one. At this point, my experience with foreign films was rather limited and it was really interesting to see such a different style of cinematography. It was confronting and unnerving but eye opening at the same time. The fest is a chance to catch up with old film-buff friends, who may introduce you to something you normally wouldn’t have picked to see. Go with it. I doubt you will regret it. Get yourself a copy of the film fest guide and attack it with a pen and a highlighter! My list: My actual list is a fair bit longer than this, and physically impossible to achieve; but here is a couple from the top.

Nosferatu:

The 1922 German Expressionist film, accompanied by the Auckland Philharmonic Orchestra live in cinema is going to be one of the highlights of the fest. It’s one of those films that aren’t the easiest to watch. It’s old. And despite being only 90 minutes, it can be a long 90 minutes. But if you are up for a bit of old school horror and intense symbolism, give it a go.

The Round Up:

Since the French apologised for handing over 13,000 Jews to the Germans, their film industry has begun to tell their story. I’m picking this to be similar to Sarah’s Key (also worth a watch) but a powerful and emotional Holocaust film – but they all are.

The First Grader:

Watch the trailer. You’ll be dying to see this.

Being Elmo: A Puppeteer’s Journey:

This is one of those films that appeals to the inner child in all of us; who doesn’t remember watching Sesame Street back in the day? Elmo has a place in all of our hearts, and as such so does his puppeteer.

Tomboy:

A French film about gender and social expectations, I am super excited to see this one. I am expecting something along the lines of She’s the Man but a little more out of the box and a little more French.

POM Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold:

Morgan Spurlock, for those who don’t know, is the guy who made that documentary on McDonalds. Now, he explores product placement in our everyday cinematography; hence the title. An exposé of product placement, in a documentary funded by product placement; how could you not? Just remember you’re half watching an advert.

The Last Circus:

From the ‘Incredibly Strange’ section of the guide this film is supposed to be a story of love, revenge and clowns. Of course it is in the incredibly strange section. Winner of best director and best screenplay at Venice Film Festival 2010, this film is bound to impress in one way or another.

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21.

by Selena La Fleur and Rebecca Lee Two subjects discuss the advantages and disadvantages of being short/tall; who will come out on top?

Name: Rebecca Height: I was 155cm but now I am 161! (5’2) Opening Statement: It was a momentous occasion and my flat mate (6’4”) reckons it’s gone to my head and my personality has grown with my height increase. But really, what’s my problem with being short? Clothes It’s an emotional roller coaster with clothes shopping. I can buy a boy’s tee shirt and claim it’s a dress – done more than once, thank you. This opens up many doors and I bought a town outfit for $30. But then, some shops don’t sell clothes small enough. I often walk out of stores depressed because of their lack of clothing available to me, but when I find something that fits, it’s a wonderful occasion. Shoes Shoe shopping is incredible. I have the option to wear heels as day-to-day wear. Another obvious bonus is when I wear heels I feel sexy and graceful. I can imagine a six footer feeling lanky (and looking freaking stupid). Boys Everyone knows that if the boy is shorter than you, your relationship is destined to fail (Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman). Thankfully, being a midget I have the privilege of knowing that all my relationships will work perfectly and there will never be any problems. I could even date a 15-year-old boy, if I was that way inclined, and our heights would match perfectly. Concerts Although it’s hard to see in the middle of a crowd and breathing is a bit of a task, bigger people do look after the little ones in crowds. Everything is easily solved when you ask the cute boy if he can put you on his shoulders. Age restrictions Of course I get asked for ID at liquor stores and get questioned about my age but I can get cheap bus and movie admission fares without too much of a question. I have ID when I need to be my legitimate age and when I need to be younger I have my height. Like Hannah Montana said, I got the best of both worlds. Bending over Lucky for me, I don’t have far to bend. Whether I’m bending with my knees or back, I’m still safe. The lower cupboard is always the better option and even in heels, not much of a hassle. Getting low in a club is easy too, (this doesn’t relate to if I’m wearing heels). Karate chopping someone in the face Karate chopping an attacker in the face would be difficult but a swift jab in the balls would surely put an attacker off more so than the face. Either go for the balls. Closing Statement: Short is better than being tall!

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Name: Selena Height: 182cm (6’ft) Opening statement: Single scorpion ready to sting. Those under 6’ft need not apply. Clothes: Why is the minimum height for Top Model 5’7ft? That’s because everyone knows clothes look better on tall girls. I don’t have to worry about jeans being taken up and maxi dresses are the right length. Sometimes dresses/skirts are too short and are easily mistaken as slutty instead of classy. Oh well, haterz gon’ hate. Shoes: I cater my choice of heel size depending on the people I’m with. If I’m going out with my tall friends, we’ll all wear heels. Sometimes they don’t make shoes in my size (I’m a size 10) and I admit they look better on smaller feet. Most days though, I’ll wear flats. It’s a tad annoying when people ask why I wear heels when I’m so tall anyway. Makes my legs look bangin’ I say. Relationships: Who made up the unspoken rule that the guy has to be taller than the girl? A short girl did, that’s who. She needs to feel protected, submissive and petite. It’s what we’ve learnt to accept, through no fault of our own, to not be taller than a guy in a relationship. Well I say, this shit ends right here, right now. Most guys I go for are taller than me anyway, but this shouldn’t stop tall girls being with short guys. At the end of the day, we’re all the same height lying down anyway. Reowr. Sports: Being tall, you know you’re going to get picked first for the team. You’re pretty much guaranteed a spot on the netball or basketball team. Being short, you’re options are a bit more limited. You can be a jockey, but something about jockeys creep me out. Their voices are all high and squeaky and they’re always involved in sex scandals. Concerts: I love going to concerts. I never have to worry about not being able to see the stage. I love standing in front of short girls and hearing their snarky remarks “Omg, actually like move you giraffe!”. Sometimes, I almost forget who I’ve come to see perform in the first place, it’s that awesome. Age restrictions: You know when your height gets recorded on the wall at home to see how much you’ve grown? Well, I was a few centimetres shorter than my dad by the time I started intermediate. Going to R16 movies was never a problem; short girls relish in the thought that because they’re getting ID’d it means they will always look youthful and never age. No, it actually means you look 12 and the bouncers don’t want to call your babysitter after you’ve passed out after two KGBs. Bending Over: Why bend over when I can get a little person who’s closer to the ground to grab something for me? Karate chopping someone in the face: Self-defence classes teach females to go straight for the goods, the package. Ok you get the picture. Tall chicks can perform the karate chop to the face/balls/stomach smoothly and effectively; where as short girls can’t reach and run away. I suppose this relates back to why short girls need tall boyfriends to protect them. Lame. Closing statement: Life as a tall chick took a while for me to accept. I’ve come to learn to use my height as an advantage. It pretty much rules. And yes, the weather is great up here, thanks for asking!

issue 14 2011

Ebooks:

they just don’t have that nostalgic old book smell

by Alisha Lewis

t’s every book nerd’s worst nightmare. People are beginning to suggest that, as time progresses books people don’t generally read for leisure and technology advances, books may become a thing of the past. or very often is actually a really good idea. It Google alone is digitising an estimated 10 million books a year, about 15.4 per cent of texts in means that these books can just be referred existence, and many another international corporations are following suit. to when needed, saving both a lot of space on However, while the projects may be impressive – convenient even – a line has to be drawn, or a bookshelves as well as trees. balance found, between what should or should not be digitised. I also understand that some people will simply Many people have simply been calling the love the convenience of being able to carry their projects ‘progress’. Others have been arguing that library around with them wherever they go. it’s progress for progress’ sake. I tend to agree with Meanwhile, others will rejoice at finally being the latter. Yet those praising the book digitisation able to read their Mills and Boon novels in projects also seem to be making another claim. public without anyone not so secretly judging They’re saying it’s no different to the changes you for your smut (you know who you are). we’ve seen within the music industry - to what In regards to novels though, despite the Apple iPods have done to CDs. hoopla and hype surrounding the dawn of Kobo This is true to a large extent; however, there e-readers, iPads and the whole book digitising is a pretty important detail that makes all the era, I’m pretty confident that book lovers won’t difference. CDs are listened to. The same sound let print books be eradicated. We will continue and experience can be had regardless of whether to treasure each special edition Charles Dickens the music is listened to on a discman or an iPod. and every tattered childhood picture book, In comparison, a book is a material item which regardless of all the coffee stains and the number you spend countless hours of time poring over. of times they’ve been dropped in the bath. You develop a relationship with the book that Like animal rights activists protesting against can often be related to not just the story, but the the extinction of an endangered species, book nerds will rally to make sure that the future of physical object itself too. the humble paper print book will never be in When most people look back to their first jeopardy. experiences with books – perhaps bedtime stories read to them by their parents – they will remember not just their favourite story but also the tattered picture book the story was printed in. Who would want to read Where The Wild Things Are or Bad Jelly the Witch on a pixel-fuelled screen? The feeling of reading an individual print book is an entirely different experience to that of spending hours with the same computer or LCD screen for many different texts. This is because books, especially novels, are not just a story or a cluster of words; they are an experience. Your best-loved books may be perfectly preserved on a computer but there will be nothing to show for your personal connection with each story. Your favourite chapter can’t be Kia ora to our new international students and a big welcome back to our returning international students. We hope that you are refreshed and ready to tackle marked with the bookmark your gran gave you semester two 2011! We wish you luck with all your studies and hope that this for your birthday and the most exciting pages semester is your best ever. You will also be part of New Zealand’s hosting of the won’t be dog-eared or frayed as telltale signs Rugby World Cup! This is a great and exciting time to be here. of your enthusiasm. There won’t be tear marks AUT’s International Student Support provides specialised information and support from when the hero met his untimely demise or services to international students. We will help enable you to participate fully in learning and to understand your environment while living in New Zealand. that little bit of dirt smeared on the page when Our team can give you knowledge and advice on immigration matters, visas, you dropped it getting off the bus. Digitising insurance and accommodation. We can talk to faculties for you if you need books makes reading less personal. It takes away assistance. We can also help you with setting up a bank account. We are here to give that little bit of magic printed on each page you guidance with all things Kiwi. along with the words. It takes away that newbook smell. It takes away the bookstores and the WHERE TO FIND US: library trips. It takes away all the possibilities City Campus that come with an unopened, un-creased WB building, Level 1, room 135 55 Wellesley Street East paperback. Auckland 1010 However, this isn’t to say digitising books is Phone: 921 9811 all bad. My encyclopaedia is lying somewhere in Fax: 9 921 9769 the garage collecting dust while Wikipedia has North Shore Campus AS building, level 2 become my best friend for quick referencing and Akoranga Drive fact-checking. And where would we be during Northcote Phone: 9 921 9643 assignments without Google Books and Google Fax: 921 9786 Scholar? Email: international.support@aut.ac.nz Basically what I’m getting at is that digitising

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23.

Image: Race Relations Poster. (2007)

by Danielle Whitburn

by Melissa Low

You’re in a bar gracefully drinking a pinot. Two friends sit opposite, peering into the distance. A song comes on. “Oh”, one of your friends exclaims, “it’s that song you know I love”. “You mean the new Rihanna one?”, the other interjects. “No, you know...” The conversation grinds to a halt. You and your friends have realised the grim reality. The intro to the song now playing is equally Stones or Katy Perry, a classic or that cheap fake strutting around on MTV. The tunes have been copied, ripped off or mimicked because they have worked before. You feel cheated, betrayed, as if your religion has been scientifically disproven or your new Trade Me purchase was not what it said it was. You had invested meaning into that intro; it had been with you through morning traffic, road trips and getting-ready ridiculousness before a night out. And now? It was just a Sony jingle. When we listen to a manufactured, glossy song, we are listening to something meaningless masqueraded as art. Personally, I find it insulting. Take for example, when Rebecca Black’s Friday came out. The fact that it even has a name and has an ‘artist’ attributed to it is a sheer crime. But the biggest shame of humanity was that it almost passed. If you listened to the tune, but not the words, it could have been the new Britney, Christina, Ashlee or Jonas Brothers song; it could have passed. And I would guess that with some people, it already has. I still hear its dumbed-down words trumpeted across McDonald’s, at the gas station and on Studylink’s call centre lines (where we whittle away so many of our hours). In many ways, it has passed. And just like other controversial ideas, laws or facts that have ‘passed’ in society, it presents a threat that not many take notice of: the threat that, in allowing music to become homogenous, we are only asking for more of the same. The pertinent question here really is, “how”? How did our music become so vulgar, so sterile and standardised? When did being beautiful, popular, or even just rich with an average voice allow you entrance into the music industry? Sure, we can blame it on capitalism. But blaming societal issues on capitalism is a cop-out; nothing ever gets done in Marxist philosophies aside from theory writing. We must all know that a majority of songs blasted on the radio are the same song with a different singer, different words and a different theme, just like a Jennifer Aniston/Adam Sander movie. We must all know that the intro-verse-bridge-chorus-verse-bridgechorus-bridge-chorus music that tells about breaking-up, or hoes, or parties, or how much of a gangster someone is just marketing? Or do we? If this is the case, perhaps it is our fault that our guard is down. Yet the sadness prevails, the despair at having to listen to another terrible copy….oh, the solemnity of whinging. I would like to ask you, the reader: do you love trashy songs, just like we love trashy programmes, trashy movies, trashy clothes? Does acceptable trash include trashy music? Are we ready to accept what should be named as a sequel of another artists’ song as original, and to like that ‘original’? We’re either on the verge of a society that accepts less, or a society that, so used to accepting less, indifferently accepts what can only be termed ‘musical cloning’. You start to worry you’re cloning into your parents when you hark back to the musical taste of old. But maybe these days, that’s what it takes to stand for something outside materialism: it takes being seen as outdated.

Growing up as a short Asian child in a house on the North Shore, I never really had strong female Asian role models in my life (other than my amazing mum). There were no mainstream Asian celebrity role models that I could connect with, not even the equivalent of an Asian Barbie. So I grew up like any other Kiwi girl was expected to do. I ate Weetbix, sang the national anthem in both Maori and English, always brought sausage rolls to a shared lunch and ate a lot of Mallowpuffs when I could get the chance. It was the way everyone at school seemed to behaved, so I followed along. It’s fair to say that because of the way I grew up, I wasn’t a very “Asian” girl by people’s standards. However, by face value, I’m not always accepted as being a “New Zealander”, and there are those that will not consider me to be fitting into this country at all. That whole debacle with Paul Henry questioning GovernorGeneral Sir Anand Satyanand and his “New Zealander” status can be proof that New Zealand hasn’t fully accepted the multi-cultural society it has turned out to be. Over the past 15 years as I’ve noticed more Asian restaurants being built in communities, we’re fully accepting of (most of) the delicious Asian food that is offered by the culture. But when it comes to dealing with people who are, as someone once said to me, “very Asian”, people can become frustrated with all the cultural differences and accuse them of being ignorant of the Kiwi culture. Now don’t get me wrong and think I’m trying to offend everyone; I’ve been on both sides of the fence. Growing up in schools where races were generally of European decent, I sometimes felt disconnected with other Asians. Yet because of the way I look, I sometimes feel judged and stereotyped by the community that I grew up in. (I won’t even go into Kyle Chapman’s protest on the ‘Asian Invasion’ because that’s its own down-spiralling issue.) I’m sure I can find many New Zealand-born Asians that feel the same way I do, but I don’t think it’s been realised by many that right now, a new Kiwi Asian generation growing. One where people may look Asian but can speak perfect English and are able to work in any industry this country has to offer, not just the stereotyped science or accounting. Please don’t think I’m generalising all “white” people. I’m very thankful that all my friends and so many others of this country are completely accepting of the differences and embrace what the Asian community can offer. There are only a minority of people in this country that haven’t fully recognised how things have changed since the last millennium. To those I plead, get educated and realise that most Asians or people of Asian decent, like me, have been able to embrace the Kiwi culture and that they can offer a lot back. Maybe 10 years from now, if I ever have children, there will be positive Asian role models in mainstream media that they can look up to. But for now, I’ll keep embracing the two cultures that I connect with, and hope one day that everyone in this country embrace the same.

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issue 14 2011

Dear Agony Aunt

This Agony Aunt column is brought to you by the team at Health, Counselling and Wellbeing. If you have a question you would like answered email debate@aut.ac.nz and put Agony Aunt as the subject or drop it in to the Health, Counselling and Wellbeing office.

I just failed my first assignment. I am so upset. I don’t want to tell my parents, they will be very disappointed in me. I am beginning to think I can’t do this university thing. Maybe I’m just not clever enough. I am a first year business student. God I am so scared of the next one. From Failed

Dear Agony Aunt

My boyfriend dumped me just before my exams. We were together for six months. I was, and still am, devastated. I cry most of the time and I’m afraid that I might have failed my exams. I just couldn’t concentrate and haven’t slept properly since it happened. I am just so, so sad and don’t feel like I will ever feel happy again. I don’t know what to do. Please help. From Dumped

Dear Failed,

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Failing your first assignment is hardly the end of your university experience. Do you know where you went wrong? Have you spoken to your tutor? There are lots of people at AUT who are there to help you. Sometimes it takes a while to get into your stride and develop a writing style that you are comfortable with. You don’t need to tell you parents if you think they will be upset because you will more than likely pass next time if you get the right support. Dear Dumped, Contact someone from Te Tari Awhina/Learning Support; they can I am so sorry that this happened to you, I know how devastating the support you with your learning and help you practice some of the things break up of a relationship can be. I think it would be a good idea for you you might be finding difficult. If you have any personal concerns you to talk to a counsellor; it usually helps to put things into perspective so that you can move forward with your life. Counselling is confidential and could try speaking to someone in Health Counselling and Wellbeing, free for students. Call (09) 921 9992 for the City campus or (09) 921 9998 like a nurse or counsellor, and don’t forget student advisors are all there for the North Shore campus to book an appointment. Online counselling to help you. Be positive, get the help you deserve and good luck for your next assignment. is also available via AUT online.

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25.

Books When you enter (or re-enter) the world of academia, it’s generally understood that you will be in possession of various kinds of books: textbooks, notebooks, graph books or even picture books. While brand new books can be expensive, there are plenty of options to get books on the cheap. Search second hand bookstores or Trade Me for used books. Or head to USB where you can get new books for discounted prices. You’ll soon find that you can afford your textbooks and your tequila.

by Alisha Lewis

Caffeine Students are a rare semi-nocturnal breed of human. We tend to be awake at all hours of the night for two main reasons: partying or an assignment that’s been left till the last minute. Generally, a good deal of caffeine is required to fuel an all-nighter. This is an addiction everyone can get behind – whether you get your fix from a can of Red Bull or a grande, non-fat, no foam, extra whip caramel macchiato.

Broadband It’s essential to have fast internet while you’re at university. Assignments, YouTube procrastination and Facebook stalking will run so much smoother. Make sure you have a good connection: you don’t want to spend valuable study time on the phone with some useless person from Telecom trying to figure out what’s wrong with your router. Do a little research, ask around for people’s opinions and find out what your neighbours’ connections are like. Brains Word to the wise: wearing hipster glasses (those thick, black framed spectacles) might make you look indie but it doesn’t make you intellectual. The image is kind of blown when you can’t differentiate between ‘your’ and ‘you’re’. So brush up on your grammar, read books and actually take notes in lectures! The ‘geek chic’ look may be in but you’re going to be graded on your knowledge not your outfit. Coupons One of the perks of being a student is that we rarely have to pay full price for anything. Check out the AuSM website for AUT-exclusive “mates rates” or sign up to one of the millions of online voucher websites. You can save on food, activities and even trips away. Also, sign up for a student VIP card at the movies to get $10 tickets and check out your AuSM newsletter for free movie screenings throughout the semester. AuSM does free feeds on each campus every week so you can save on lunch once a week!

26.

issue 14 2011

Comfort food Every student has their own particular brand of comfort food. It could be a Snickers bar or a bowl of mac and cheese. Whatever you crave, comfort food is essential to have on hand during high stress periods such as looming assignment deadlines or exams. Work out where your nearest supermarket or dairy is, so you’re never in a state of withdrawal. Midnight mallowpuff cravings are never fun.

Money With university books/supplies, clothes and accommodation costs there’s often little money left for the fun stuff. Get off your arse and get a job. You’ll be able to afford to go out more often and can start saving towards bigger goals: paying off your student loan or jetting off on your O.E. While good jobs aren’t so easy to come by at the moment, the Student Job Search team up at the AuSM office can help make the process easier. Transport pass It may be a bit naff catching the bus when you could be cruising in your car, but parking prices are ridiculous and bus lanes make travelling in peak-hour traffic a lot less tedious. Plus, the Auckland transport system has just introduced the Hop card which covers buses, trains and ferries and is available at a discounted fulltime student rate – 40 per cent off (you can top up at the AuSM office). AUT also has a shuttle bus running between all the campuses for only $2.50 per ride.

Your Local Your local is the place you go before, between and after classes. It must play good music, have comfortable seats, be accessible to all your friends and most importantly, not charge $10 for a glass of wine. For city campus students, make Vesbar your local. It’s conveniently located in the quad and there’s always something going on – weekly pub quizzes, live performances or fun competitions.

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Clothes It’s a new semester with new papers and new people. This is your chance to create that brilliant first impression or completely reinvent yourself. Whether you want to be hobo, hipster or ghetto fab you’re going to need new threads to complete the transformation. Being a student – and therefore broke – means shopping can be depressing. If High St prices horrify you, head to K Rd and search the op-shops for some pre-loved, vintage style. Recycle Boutique (cnr Queen St and Darby St) is another goodie. A sense of humour OK, so it may not be so funny when your printer runs out of ink halfway through printing your essay, or if you miss the bus on the day of your class presentation or if your dog really does eat your homework. But shit happens – especially to students. Technology screws up, the Auckland transport system can be a joke and the universe may simply be against you. But if you want to survive each semester you need to be able to take things lightly and avoid mental breakdowns. Be the butt of your own joke. Plus, people always like funny people. Condoms It’s the age old adage: No glove, no love. Wrap that stump before you hump. If you’re spunky, cover your monkey. You get the point. The slogans may be funny but the possible consequences of not using protection aren’t: crying babies and sexually transmitted infections. AUT’s Health, Counselling and Wellbeing (along with sexual health centres in Auckland) give out free condoms and they also do free (or heavily subsidised) sexual health checks. It’s so easy to prevent – so don’t be a slacker, cover that wacker. Track pants/fat pants It’s officially winter and that means we’re entering a period of beanies, blankets and thick woollen socks you stole off your dad. It’s also time for track pants, or ‘fat pants’ as they’re more fondly referred to, to make their return. Track pants are perfect for students because they can easily transition from pyjamas to early-morning-lecture pants. They’re warm, generously sized and stretchy – perfect for expanding waistlines. They’re also super cheap and come in a range of colours – the best ones are from The Warehouse: grey in XL. Do it.

27.

by Heather Rutherford

You don’t have to be watching the news or reading the business pages to understand the current economic climate is not what it used to be. Simply taking a walk through Newmarket will tell you all you need to know. Once a thriving business area, the self-proclaimed ‘Capital of Fashion’ seems to have fallen on harder times. On paper, it doesn’t look so bad. With the inclusion and development of further shopping areas such as Nuffield street and Teed street it would seem as if Newmarket is expanding, but the shopping businesses just can’t seem to keep up. It seems every other day another shop is closing in the area, another shop is empty, and there isn’t anyone willing to take up the space. Of course it is easy to blame the economic down turn for this sudden change, but while is has most likely played a considerable part, according to the officials, the economic downturn is now all but over. So why does retail still seem to be struggling? For my part, as someone who has had a lot of experience in fashion retail in Newmarket, the figures are not improving. And other parts of town seem to be doing a lot worse than Newmarket, with some stores making as little as one sale a day. What has been the sudden change that has all but eliminated the past time of recreational shopping? After blaming the poor economy it is easy to point the finger at the internet. The poor internet. It gets the blame for everything these days. But in this case, there is no denying that internet shopping, with online stores such as Topshop (www.topshop.com) and ASOS (www. asos.com) are taking a lot of fashion sales out of our streets and on to the worldwide web. A few forward thinking Kiwi fashion designers are taking this new phase on board

28.

and trying to make it work for them rather than pitting themselves against it. For example Karen Walker and The Department Store are importing a few carefully selected Topshop items each season, and many other designers are selling off their own, and other online fashion stores. However it seems that the real root of the issue here is now that we New Zealanders do have access to fashion from all over the world from the comfort of our own computer screen, we are becoming a bit spoilt for choice. There are a several myths surrounding New Zealanders and their fashion choice. The first one is that we like to wear copious amount of black in winter. While black is probably the easiest colour to wear trends show that we are tiring of it and want a bit more colour a lá French, Italians and Americans. The second myth is that as a satirical bunch, we like to dress conservative. It is this myth that I think is the most damaging in our current climate. As isolated as we once were, we are now creatures of the more global variety are no longer as inclined to dress conservatively. While we are still not up to the same pace as the people on the streets of Paris or Milan our noses are definitely sniffing around in that direction and we will get it whether or not it is in our own shops or off shore. The sad thing is that most New Zealand fashion businesses are unaware of, or choosing to disregard, this trend. Almost every shop window you look in now has the same sort of aesthetic going on. Maxi pleated skirt, tunic tops, floaty shirts, drapey fabrics, neutral tones…. Yawn. I no longer go shopping in Auckland with the same sense of excitement I once had; in fact I’m lucky to find anything that excites me at all. Instead of being fashion forward, retail is playing it safe.

The fashion retail stores overseas seem to be getting the message that in a market so oversaturated, you have to set yourself apart from the crowed. Abercrombie & Fitch and their flagship store in New York is one example of a store that aims to wow the potential shopper. The place is like a night club with a DJ playing in store all day long, and supermodel-looking retail staff. The USA is full of the theatrical shopping experiences. While something as elaborate as this in New Zealand would be a bit intimidating to most, it is something we should take note of. The shops that do tend to be doing well in todays retail climate are in fact stores that have come over from Australia. It seems that these stores and everything about them, from their shop layout, advertising and clothing selection have just the right amount of theatrics to keep us interested without scaring us away. And at the end of the day, that is what the New Zealand consumer is looking for. We all are looking for something exciting and new when we take our purchases to the till. Whether we end up getting a lot of wear out of these garments or not, that crucial moment of decision of whether to buy or not is affected by a sense of excitement of getting something new. New Zealand retail can’t just keep relying on ‘playing it safe’, because the consumer is ‘not buying it’ anymore.

issue 14 2011

Vampires and werewolves are SO last week! This year it’s all about zombies! Auckland Theatre Company’s Young and Hungry is back for another year at the Basement theatre in the city. The festival is focussed on giving young actors, designers and stage managers an opportunity to get into the notoriously difficult scene of theatre. Each year there are three plays and this year is no different, Cow and Tiger Play all featured in previous years in Young and Hungry Wellington, but this year they also have a brand new play called Disorder. Written by Thomas Sainsbury, Disorder is all about what would happen to Auckland if it encountered a zombie apocalypse. Not only are the walking dead terrorising the city, there is also another nutter loose and a man who wants to save his zombie-fied girlfriend. Disorder also poses the question of whether or not a zombie apocalypse is the best time to come out to your family... Thomas Sainsbury is a young Auckland writer who co-wrote Supercity with Taika Waititi and has written more than 15 plays in the last six years. I caught up with the ambitious writer to ask him what fuelled his fascination of black comedy and more specifically... zombies.

How did you get into writing for theatre? I wrote my first play when I was nine. It was a sequel to Little Shop of Horrors. I had just seen the Matamata dramatic society performance of it and was blown away. I think I called the sequel Little School of Horrors. I produced and played the lead. What a dork. I was then always into plays and acting and making up stories. I spent most of my time doing it. And then after I studied English Literature at the University of Auckland I just naturally fell into it again. It wasn’t a very conscious decision. It just kind of happened.

How would you describe your writing style, and what influences your writing? I always try to write thrillers. Or tragedies. But they always come out as comedies. But in saying that straight dramas are always the ones that influence me. And I can’t go past a good chase scene. Or horror. I also love really honest, truthful performances. I have recently seen Rabbit Hole, Rachel Getting Married and Desert and was really moved and inspired.

What made you get into Young and Hungry and the playwrights’ initiative? It’s such a good scheme I thought it was stupid not to apply. What a gift! Money and two productions of your play.

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How did you come up with the idea for Disorder?

I wrote the play when I was amidst a zombie craze. I’m not a huge zombie film fan but I have quite a few in my life. And I knew it was a craze that was resurging. People really get off on it. So I thought I’d get in on the action, and I don’t regret it.

Tell us about Disorder.

It’s a zombie apocalypse play. My zombie-fanatic friends made me stick to the conventions but I have put my own spin on it. What really interested me in the process of writing was the question – what would you do if society collapsed? I think that question is what this play explores.

What was your biggest challenge in writing Disorder?

I think the writing was easy – it’s the direction that’s going to be hard. I don’t envy [director] Ben Crowder much. But in saying that I think making the timeline work was the biggest challenge. There is a lot going on, and multiple stories lines. It was a challenge making everything fit.

What do you hope to achieve in the future?

Everything. I want to make films, write novels, write plays. I want to be bigger than Shakespeare, Steinbeck and Hitchcock combined.

What tips do you have for other budding writers wanting to write for theatre?

Write something and direct and produce it yourself. Don’t wait around for someone else. Learn by doing, not by studying. Read all the good plays, have life experience, always condense your play by a third – trust me. If your play is 30 pages be brutal and remove 10. It helps hugely 99 per cent of the time. Always go for the most dramatic situation with the highest stakes for your character. Be interesting for God’s sakes, in life and in your work.

Last words?

Disorder is gonna be a wild ride! You’ll love it. Young and Hungry will be on at the Basement theatre in the city from the July 23 to August 6. Cow begins the festival at 6.30pm, followed by Tigerplay at 8pm and Disorder at 9.30pm. Tickets are $16 for one show or $39 for all three for under 25s, $20/$48 for anyone older. To book, call Auckland Theatre Company on (09) 309 3395.

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Bridesmaids

Directed by Paul Feig Film Review by Samantha McQueen

(A)

When the word comedy is mentioned in film, the name Judd Apatow isn’t too far behind. His name has been attached to comedy classics like Superbad, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and The 40 Year Old Virgin. All of these films are raunchy and hilarious, but unfortunately for females, they are also all male. This time around, Apatow has teamed up with Saturday Night Live doyenne Kristen Wiig and director Paul Feig (The Office) to prove you don’t have to have a penis to be funny, with Bridesmaids, the most refreshingly non-chick ‘chick flick’ to come out of Tinseltown in ages. Wiig (who co-wrote the script with Annie Mumolo) is Annie, a hapless 30-something whose recent business failure is just another notch in her pathetic life. Once the owner of a cake shop in Milwaukee, she now hawks off engagement rings in a jewellery store and lives week to week in a flat she shares with a dimwitted brother and sister duo. Her love life isn’t much better; she’s fooling around with a grade A douchebag (Jon Hamm), but she doesn’t even have the honour of being number one on his lust list. It’s only when her childhood bestie Lillian (Maya Rudolph) gets engaged and she’s asked to be the maid of honour that she realises how hard she’s hit rock bottom. Unlike the best man, whose only jobs revolve around getting the groom plastered and turning up on time, Annie finds herself with a checklist that includes organising the bridal shower, bachelorette party, the other bridesmaids and trying to come up with $800 for her bridesmaid dress. Add to that, Lillian’s new friend Helen, a supremely wealthy and uptight planner, is determined to take out the chief bridesmaid spot by killing Annie with kindness. It would be easy to tout this as a female version of The Hangover, with its wedding premise, an ensemble cast and, at one point, a missing member of the wedding party, but the great thing about this movie isn’t the outrageous scenarios they get themselves into, but how relatable all the characters are. Annie isn’t treated like some unfinished DIY project that needs to be fixed and Wiig plays

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her that way; she always looks ill at ease and her conversations – and her appearance – is never polished. Her disastrous luck doesn’t take a magical u-turn mid movie and even Annie’s romantic interlude with the goofy and endearing Officer Rhodes (the adorable Chris O’Dowd) aren’t doused with Hollywood saccharine. This R-rated comedy may be raunchy, but the R also stands for real. The film isn’t filled with impossibly beautiful women that wear size six couture. There’s the expletive-laden, underappreciated mum (Wendi McLendonCovey) who just wants an opportunity to rip the price tag off her unworn tube top, the sweet, sexually naïve newlywed (Ellie Kemper) and the brusque future sister-inlaw, in a standout performance by Melissa McCarthy (her scenes with air marshall Jon are side-splitting). Even Byrne’s character, the stereotypical “rich bitch” has the odd moment of vulnerability – and shows that pretty people can make ugly criers. In fact, even though the characters have flaws aplenty, production faults are few and far between. Feig could have trimmed the 127 minute running time down by an easy 10 minutes and there are occasional moments where the gags start to dip into slap-stick comedy (the bridal fitting scene gets dangerously close) but Wiig, Rudolph and McCarthy hold this somewhat predictable storyline together. Bridesmaids never claimed to be revolutionary; it only claimed to be funny. Judging by the aches in my stomach muscles when I left the cinema, it more than succeeded.

the heir to a billion dollar enterprise. Convinced she needs bigger jugs to win him over, Elizabeth spends the rest of the movie trying to raise money for her boob job, whilst battling her nemesis, fellow teacher Amy Squirrel (Lucy Punch), for his affections. Elizabeth goes to extreme lengths to raise this money, including drugging someone, theft, extortion and more! Now although the storyline is quite ridiculous, Diaz steals the show with her performance. Not only did she manage to pull off playing the foul-mouthed, manipulative, alcoholic, stoner teacher, but she also managed to do it in such a funny way that it left the whole audience rooting for her. You want her to be mean to little kids, you want her to bully adults, you want her to get wasted and you want her to succeed! Timberlake’s performance, however, is best described as just “meh” as he seems unable to completely commit to his nerdy and awkward role. Unfortunately this meant that some scenes in the movie just did not work! There’s this one scene in particular where Timberlake and Diaz’s characters have dry sex, and it was so weirdly done that you’re left cringing the entire time, especially knowing that they used to go out! All round, the film has its ups and downs, but seeing Diaz constantly drinking and smoking weed is totally worth the watch. If you want to watch a feel good movie and have a few good laughs, this film is the one for you!

Super 8

Directed by JJ Adams Film Review by Samantha McQueen

(B+)

Bad Teacher

Directed by Jake Kasdan Film Review by Nicola Monera

(B)

There’s something wonderfully satisfying about seeing Hollywood sweetheart Cameron Diaz playing such a ruthlessly awesome role. Diaz plays the part of school teacher Elizabeth Halsey, a booze hag stoner who can’t wait to get her meal ticket out of her horrid job. After getting dumped by her rich fiancé, she sets her sights on winning the heart of substitute teacher, Scott Delacorte (Justin Timberlake),

Before the days of cellphones and handycams, preteen boys still made model cars and making a movie with your friends was a summerlong event. Super 8 is a glorious look at the childhoods of yesteryear, without the spectacle of 3D or Imax to distract us. Set in the summer of ‘79, 12-year-old Joe Lamb (Joel Courtney) is mourning the death of his mother, who died after an recent accident at the local steel mill. He’s helping make a zombie film that his best friend Charles (Riley Griffiths) is directing for a local film contest. Along with three boys, Charles has roped in Alice Daniard (Elle Fanning), an older girl from school, to play the female lead, which sets in motion two plots

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in Abrams film; an innocence crush between Joe and Alice and, more importantly, a pivotal scene at a remote train station. In the midst of filming a heartfelt goodbye to her on-screen husband, a pickup truck drives onto the tracks and collides with an oncoming train, derailing it and sending carriages flying. The kids escape unscathed, but with a warning from the driver of the truck; don’t speak of this to anyone or they’ll kill you. Presumably, “they” is the Air Force, who covers up this deliberate sabotage attempt as an accident and keeps the local police out of the loop. Of course, being ones for “added production value” the gang set out to try and solve the big secret that has dogs, microwaves and humans disappearing from the small town of Lillian, Ohio. It would be easy to see Super 8 as a love letter to Spielberg – who executive produced the film – based on the similarities between this and his own works (namely, Close Encounters, ET and The Goonies), but Abrams, best known for the Star Trek remake and producing Lost, has worked hard to make sure the audience is always asking questions: What exactly is on the camera that was knocked to the ground? What does the silver cube Joe took from the wreckage have to do with the disappearances? How is Alice’s father involved in Joe’s mother’s death? Abrams succeeds at keeping the mystery behind the “thing” hidden for as long as possible, but unfortunately, the reveal is somewhat anti-climatic. Compared to the scares you get from the thing’s antics throughout the movie, particularly when the gas attendant gets swiped mid-shift, you’re disappointed the mystery had to be revealed at all. The cast is predominantly unfamiliar faces – this is the acting debut of both Joel Courtney and Riley Griffiths – but Abrams has picked his characters well; Courtney’s performance of a boy struggling with death and loss is poignant and tender, and his scenes with Fanning, particularly the one where their characters sit in his room watching home videos of Joe’s late mother, remind viewers that childhood romances don’t have to be filled with sexual undercurrents. Fanning has proved herself to be more than just Dakota’s little sister, and Super 8 is her most emotionally complex role yet. Her touching performance extends beyond the memorising scene she delivers to the camera at the train station, like when she’s innocently exploring Joe’s model car collection or getting made up that shows how much tenderness and emotion can be shown in the quietest of scenes. Super 8 isn’t a sugar-coated family film, nor is it a thriller that will leave your heart pounding for days. No, it’s simply a good, wholesome

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adventure that will have Spielberg and Abrams fans alike wishing cinema would return to its roots.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon Directed by Michael Bay

Film Review by Samantha McQueen

(B)

After scathing reviews for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Bay had some serious ground to make up with film three. He needed a better script, better character development and better fight scenes. Well, he certainly achieved better fight scenes with Transformers: Dark of the Moon and at the end of the day, that’s what Transformers is all about. Transformers: Dark of the Moon focuses around what really happened when Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin stepped onto the moon in July, 1969. Aside from making that small leap for mankind, they uncovered a crashed Autobot ship and take pieces back to Earth – facts that aren’t shared with the Autobots, but which quickly come to light. For Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), his story picks up three months after graduation. Despite having a medal from the President and previously saving the world – twice – Sam finds himself unemployed, playing the American boy toy to his new English girlfriend, Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whitley). Finally landing himself a job in the mail department at an aesthetically visceral firm, he’s accosted by an office employee (a surprising appearance by Ken Jeong) and told that the Decepticons are back and the Earth hidden moon pieces will help them take over the world. The absence of Megan Fox is explained early on in a not-so-subtle jab by the writer, and rather than using her departure as an opportunity to get someone with some decent acting chops, we’re forced to watch Victoria Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whitley parade on screen in slow motion, wearing tight white outfits and always like someone has slapped her across the face and she’s still figuring out why her cheeks hurt. Still, the red-blooded males will be satisfied. The objectifying way Bay shoots gorgeous women is still there; our introduction to Carly comes via a slow tracking shot up her legs, where

she’s wearing nothing but a man’s shirt and underwear, carrying an oversized stuffed rabbit. You don’t go into Transformers wanting to be wowed by acting ability; you want to see robots and buildings being destroyed. And on this count, Bay certainly delivers. The climatic fight scene, which takes place in a recently destroyed Chicago, is almost an hour long, and in that time we see everything from Lennox’s team jump out of planes in wing suits to Shockwave, the multi-layered tunnel snake that demolishes a skyscraper in minutes by snaking up through different floors, while Sam and co are inside. It’s loud, action-packed and, thanks to the brilliant use of 3D, stunning to watch. At 157 minutes long it certainly lags in places – Bay could have cut 20 minutes easy from the middle – but Transformers fan won’t mind too much; they’ll just be thankful it’s better than Revenge of the Fallen.

Architecture in Helsinki Moment Bends

Album Review by Ksenia Khor

(B)

Architecture in Helsinki, an indie pop band from Melbourne, Australia, released their fifth studio album: a mix of synth-pop and various dance rhythms from all the latest decades. In recent years the band was quite successful across the globe, performing on the stages of several continents. Interestingly enough, though their name is mentioning the capital of Finland, the band visited the Scandinavian country for the first time only in 2007, during their European tour. AIH have matured a lot since the dawn of their career and Moment Bends proves that. The fans of their earlier works distinguished by childlike carelessness might be a bit disappointed because Moment Bends sounds quite different from what they might expect. This time AIH created a quite romantic and light-hearted summer record reminiscent of beautiful sunsets, ocean waves and beach parties. In Moment Bends refined and subtle electronic music is blended with glossy vocals by frontman Cameron Bird and an orchestra of synthesizers. Though they don’t sound like a bunch of hyper kids anymore, AIH managed to keep contagious enthusiasm throughout the whole record. It helps Moment Bends to sound

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pretty consistent and smooth. However, none of the songs are particularly memorable. The lead single and probably one of the best songs from the album is Contact High, a track that bursts out with Bird’s falsetto overly auto-tuned in the chorus to sound in perfect accordance with the cheerful electronic beats. Quirky and energetic, it’s just made for the dance floor. The relatively acoustic and less glossy Sleep Talkin’ is my personal favourite. Piano and acoustic guitar strumming with some additional drumbeat accents create a delicate and irresistibly sincere melody. A funky Denial Style has a distinctive and catchy rhythm. In addition with layered vocals by both Kellie Sutherland, the only girl in the band, and Cameron Bird, this is another careless song perfect for rocking the dance floor. The album ends with a melancholic ballad, B4 3D. It could be a great song with electronic piano and whispering vocals creating a nostalgic feeling, but the lyrics seem to be an echo of the inane boy bands compositions from the 90s. This similarity just leaves you quite disappointed. Architecture in Helsinki showed they are keen to experiment and are not afraid of making mistakes. Unfortunately, their shiny enthusiasm can’t lift Moment Bends from wallflower to centre stage. But despite over the top sugariness and too much auto-tune, it’s nevertheless a well made, charming and enjoyable pop album.

Eddie Vedder Ukulele Songs

Album Review by Matthew Cattin

(A-)

package an album. Ukulele Songs is made like a book with 40 pages of photography and lyrics. Ukulele Songs is not a metaphorical title. It’s a compilation of 16 original compositions and covers that Eddie recorded on ukulele, perhaps the result of a mid-life identity crisis. The album starts off strong with a stripped back version of the Pearl Jam song Can’t Keep. It’s the only Pearl Jam song on the album and I have to say it works better on the uke than it did with the full band. It’s a crazed song with frantic strumming and creepy chords which just work so well on the ukulele. The first single and stand-out track of the album is Longing to Belong, a cute wee song about love and struggling to cope without it. A cello arrangement in the background makes it the only song on the album to contain an additional instrument other than the ukulele and I think this is the album’s major downfall. I’m all for the ukulele and all; I think it is underrated and never taken seriously enough by musicians, but what this album lacks is diversity in sound. It’s neat to use the ukulele as the lead instrument but adding backing strings or percussion to the tunes would add a whole new dimension and depth to the album. The other highlight of the album for me is a cover of the Everly Brother’s Sleepless Nights, sung as a duet with Glen Hansard of Once fame. Four words… Match. Made. In. Heaven. A duet with Cat Power’s Chan Marshal on Tonight You Belong to Me is equally delightful and another favourite for me. It also rates as the cutest tune on the album by a long shot. All in all, the album is lovely. It’s not the best of Eddie’s work but it serves to capture a moment of timeless romance and has the potential to woo even the hardiest of souls into a sleepy day dream and for that, I salute him.

Ministry of Sound

Eddie Vedder is perhaps my favourite human being. I wrote him a letter a few months back expressing my undying love. (I haven’t got a reply yet so I guess he has been pretty tied up on the new album.) When I heard the album was coming out I squealed with joy. His 2007 soundtrack for Into the Wild perfectly captures the spirit of a roaming backpacker and has accompanied me on every road trip I’ve been on. In Ukulele Songs, Eddie tries to encompass the long gone romance of waving palms and tuxedos. His songs paint the orange sunset the hero and heroine walk hand-in-hand into at the end of a 1930s film – and I love it. But firstly, my god! Eddie sure knows how to

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The Sound of Dubstep Vol.1 (unmixed) Album Review by Jareth Trigwell

(C+)

diluting, casual-listener-pandering selection of music. I was ready to chop off my middle finger and add it to the bucket. So it was kind of disappointing to find that the two-disc collection is actually, well, almost pretty listenable. Ministry of Sound have obviously done their homework and really strived to include a diverse range of songs. I’ve kept a pretty close eye on dubstep over the last few years, and watched with sadness as the organic, bass-driven sound of artists like Digital Mystikz and El-B gave way to producers like Borgore and Skrillex, whose noisy songs sounded like live recordings of Edward Scissorhands fist-fucking Optimus Prime. I was fearful that the entire album would sound like the latter, but I was somewhat surprised. It’s a reasonably accurate crosssection of dubstep, designed to introduce new listeners to the variety of music that the genre has to offer. There’s the dancefloor smashes, like Chase and Status’ remix of Nneka’s Heartbeat. There’s also the warm, down-tempo stuff, like Burial’s take on Bloc Party’s Where is Home, nestled in amongst the screamers like Doctor P’s Sweet Shop. There are some abominations in here, like Breakage’s remix of Riverside, alongside some genuine sonic masterpieces like Mala’s Changes and Joy Orbison’s Hyph Mngo. While this diversity of songs is great for showcasing the flexibility of the genre, it leaves me feeling the onset of bipolar disorder. Half the songs are amazing, half are terrible. I’ve got a grin on my face wider than the economic gap between New Zealand and Australia while listening to Geiom’s vocal UK Garage throwback, Reminissin; a few songs later, Doorly’s remix of Bonkers leaves me looking for a sturdy tree and a longish piece of rope. Disc one has me high as a kite after listening to Digital Mystikz’ Anti War Dub; Disc two makes me feel like I’ve flown into power-lines after enduring Tek-one’s take on Supafly. Any compilation that has the balls to define itself as The Sound of a genre is always going to open itself up to criticism from fans of the genre, but this selection does an honest job of trying its best and, at the very least, it’s going to expose dubstep to a massive audience. It’s got some nice songs amongst a bunch of horrid ones. You’ll probably enjoy it if you’re less of an elitist asshole critical than I am.

Ministry of Sound is always going to cop buckets of middle fingers from real music fans for compressing their beloved genres into nice, marketable, easy to digest compilations. I was so ready to hate this album. I couldn’t wait to distance myself from such a genre-

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e h t t Spo nce e r e f f Di

Correctly identify the five differences in the two photos then circle them and drop your entry into your nearest AuSM office, or the box on the side of the red debate stands, or post to debate PO Box 6116 Wellesley St before 12pm Thursday. What’s up for grabs? Two “squawk burgers” vouchers for Velvet Burger on Fort St, Auckland CBD!

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VOLUME 14 Now Laughing

Heath Franklin’s Chopper

Chopper isn’t for students who get offended by swearing (he says “fuck” almost every sentence) but the Australian comedian is one funny dude. Modelled on Australian ex-criminal Mark “Chopper” Read, Heath Franklin’s Chopper tells it like it is. He was recently at the comedy festival, where his show featured a puppet-based sex talk, New Zealand’s overdramatic ads and a whole lot of heckling at the audience. Tickets to that show were $38 a head, but thanks to AuSM (you’re welcome) you can see him for FREE, along with Kiwi comedians Ewen Gilmour and Urzila Carlson. Seriously, look up his stuff on YouTube, then get there early, because this will reach capacity long before Chopper drops his first F bomb.

Now Reading One Day

For those that are fans of romances that are not as clichéd as “boy meets girl, falls in love, lives happily ever after”, David Nicholl’s One Day is perfect winter reading. The novel, written by the same author who wrote Starter for Ten, has a 20 year time span, following Dexter Mayhew and Emma Morley every year on July 15, the day they first became friends on their graduation night. When I first started reading this, I thought it would be an easy way to pass the time while waiting for the bus to come before work, but by page 40 I was hooked and reading little snippets whenever I could. It’s becoming a film in September – starring Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess – but do yourself a favour and picture the characters with your imagination, not through Hollywood’s eyes (why is Anne Hathaway British?!).

Now Browsing

www.bookdepository.co.uk

Book lovers, listen up! If you haven’t stumbled across this site yet, get yourself acquainted, stat. Aside from having books with every single cover art since publication (no more movie tie ins if you like!), the range is incredible and it normally arrives in two weeks. And did I mention it’s affordable?! I purchased six books for NZ$70, which is just over $10 per book. In Whitcoulls, one of them was advertised at $28.99. As an added bonus, international shipping is free, making this the cheapest way to brush up on your top fiction. Whether your tastes are romance, thriller or you’re a classic aficionado, this website will have your book, and at a much lower price than you can get it in New Zealand. Sorry Borders, you’ve been replaced.

Now Taking Vitamins

The student lifestyle isn’t exactly healthy, what with the sleep deprivation, alcohol and junk food making up a significant portion of it. Add the chilly weather and confined spaces, like lecture halls and the library and bugs and viruses will spread quicker than you can say “common cold”. Vitamin C and Echinacea can boost your immune system, or most reputable vitamin brands have a multi-vitamin or immune system based vitamin to help you fight off the sniffles. They’re pretty cheap – especially if it saves you mega bucks in doctor’s fees down the line.. If you think you’re on the pulse with what’s happening in Auckland, email debate@aut.ac.nz with your own Suggestions.

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ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Don’t raise your hand in lectures and avoid answering questions in class this week. You don’t know the answer.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Your goal to attend every class in semester two will fail almost immediately, due to the love affair you had with your mink blanket this break.

GEMINI (May 21-June 21)

Good news: you are going to fall in love this week. Bad news: the stars aren’t sure whether the object of your affections is human.

CANCER (June 22-July 22)

You need to up your street cred. Purchase a pair of hipster glasses and stand on a street corner playing Tetris on your old school Gameboy/necklace.

LEO (July 23-August 22)

Your pretentious side is out this week. Ignore the mainstream tastes of Aquarius (what is the plural of Aquarius?) and spend all your rent money at the international film festival.

VIRGO (August 23-September 22)

Trust will be broken this week when you give your best friend your wireless password and they use up your high-speed internet in a downloading binge. De-friend immediately.

LIBRA (September 23-October 23)

You feel the need to make a difference in the world. You can’t afford to save orphans but you can start a campaign to bring back Georgie Pie. Power to the people.

SCORPIO (October 24-November 21)

You have a shit metabolism and that winter weight has already made its way to your thighs. Swap the cheeseburgers and chips for sushi and salad ASAP.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21) Beware: Facebook hackers are at large and you are particularly susceptible to getting “Fraped” this week. Be wary of suspicious lurkers in the computer lab.

CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19)

You have always been the trend-setter of the signs. Continue this streak by only wearing slippers on your feet this week. Please – my toes are like icicles.

AQUARIUS (January 20-Febuary 18)

The stars have only two words for you this week: Harry Potter.

PISCES (Febuary 19-March 20)

Use that extra large funny bone you inherited from your parents by doing stand up at the Classic this week. Trust me, no one will heckle.

issue 14 2011

FREE FOR AUT STUDENTS. DOWNLOAD YOUR TICKET AT www.ausm.org.nz. Limited Door Sales $10 on the night. Entry subject to venue capacity and presentation of valid AUT student ID card. No pass outs.

See in store for details

10% student discount off most items in store*

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issue 14 2011

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