issue 16 2011
SHOE REPAIRS & KEY CUTTING LEVEL 2
HAIR SALON LEVEL 3
NAIL SALON LEVEL 2
CLOTHING ALTERATION & DRY CLEANERS LEVEL 2
AUT
LLERY
RY LIBRA
EY SL LE EL W
ART GA
ST
T AS RI TO VIC
T EN S QUE
ST IOTT ELL
IUM ATR LIOTT EL ON
ST ERT ALB
2.
RY ENT
DR ORAL MAY
FLORIST LEVEL 2
REFLEXOLOGY LEVEL 4
FREE PARKING* AT
X
IMA
ATRIUM CARPARK *Spend a minimum of $5 at any outlet at Atrium on Elliott and receive your first hour of parking FREE, valid Monday - Friday until 6pm, or receive your first 2 hours FREE on Saturday, Sunday & public holidays until 6pm
21-25 Elliott Street, Auckland • Ph: 09 375 4960 • www.atriumonelliott.co.nz
ENTRANCE OFF ALBERT STREET
issue 16 2011
ISSUE 16 2011 5 Editorial 6 Re:OWeek Photos 8 News 9 Creative Corner 10 How To/Recipe 11 Quiz 12 Say What
Scott Moyes looks at some of the more inappropriate names in sport
13 Sport 14 AuSM Update 15 Ode to the Mochaccino 16 Cultural Holidays/ Festivals Around the Globe 17 Te Aroha: The Love 18 An Emire State of Mind
on the cover
Coffee Time by Yu Xiaoyi (CC)
editor
Samantha McQueen samantha.mcqueen@aut.ac.nz
designers
Deanne Antao
sub-editor Alisha Lewis
contributors
Karina Abadia | Antonio Avretto | Conor Beggs | Matthew Cattin | Christopher Chang | Alicia Crocket | Vinny Francesco | Andrew Rex-Girvan | Angel Guanlao | Courtney Jarrett Brendan Kelly | Ksenia Khor | Moon Lee | Rebecca Lee | Melissa Low | Andrea Manahan | Rocky Mak | Scott Moyes | Adam Warin | Danielle Whitburn | Yu Xiaoyi
advertising contact
Kate Campbell kate.campbell@aut.ac.nz
printer
This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUCKLAND STUDENT MOVEMENT AT AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY INCORPORATED (“AuSM”). Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly. Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AuSM.
disclaimer
Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, PMP Print or its subsidiaries.
debate is a member of
PMP Print Ltd.
Alisha Lewis gives us all major FOMO with her cultural depiction of NYC
20 Why Bad Boys Are The Best 21 Amy Winehouse: A Eulogy 22 Horoscopes on Shuffle
Brendan Kelly resurrects a totally scientific art form
23 The Fable Reloaded 24 Columns 25 Agony Aunt 25 Spurious Generalities
Vinny Francesco looks at the difference between want and need
26 Suggestions/Hororscopes 27 What Are You Wearing 27 Top 10 Cutest YouTube Videos 28 Fashion
Andrea Manahan looks at the increasing slips of the nip
debate magazine is brought to you by
29 Reviews 33 Spot the Difference 34 Micro-Celebrities
all rights reserved.
• 10% permanent student discount* • We buy and sell second-hand textbooks* - instant cash if you sell • Over 100,000 books in stock* - no waiting weeks for books to arrive • Four stores Auckland wide • Open Monday to Friday or buy securely from our website 24/7
www.ubsbooks.co.nz www.ausm.org.nz
City Campus Phone 366 4550 Fax 366 4570 Email aut.city@ubsbooks.co.nz
Akoranga Campus Phone 489 6105 Fax 489 7453 Email aut.akoranga@ubsbooks.co.nz
3.
The Trusts Stadium hosted by Unitec Entry fees
$25
Join the AUT Titans in the largest tertiary tournament in the upper North Island. For your entry form email jkemp@aut.ac.nz Entries close Wednesday, August 10.
4.
issue 16 2011
directory
C
ulture. It’s no longer reserved just for race or to describe the art world in New York (see page 18 for Alisha Lewis’ full breakdown of culture in NYC). There is sporting culture, pop culture, political culture and food culture, to name a few. Different parts of New Zealand have diverse culture beliefs. You certainly wouldn’t find the brunch and iPhone trend as prominent in Dunedin as it is in Auckland (even Tauranga, less than three hours away, has only recently found this meal hybrid). And our Aussie neighbours certainly have different tastes when it comes to sport, food and language; you needn’t look any further than state of origin, vegemite and eski. Last month I managed to escape the freezing temperatures for a week and headed to Rarotonga. Even though Raro has political and financial links with New Zealand (they even get One News – but at 8.30pm), the differences between their culture and the one I was brought up with are astounding. Take milk for instance. I’ve never had to think about where it comes from, since it seems every second farm in New Zealand is home to these animals. But there are no cows in Rarotonga. Everyone, including hotels and resorts, use UHT milk in their coffee and on their cereal, because a two litre bottle of fresh milk will set you back $12.80. I haven’t complained about the cost of milk since. And their pay rates don’t reflect the high cost of living either. There may be regular protests in New Zealand about getting to $15 an hour, but in the Cook Islands, the minimum wage is $5 an hour (less than was I was earning in my first job at 15). Most people on the island work two or three jobs to support themselves and their families, and a lot of family members that have left the island come back during their holidays with their suitcases stuffed with food, not clothes. One of the tour guides I encountered said if we ever came back to please bring a family bucket of KFC. He wasn’t kidding – the nearest fast food restaurant is more than 3000km away. What there is though, is churches. Lots and lots of churches. For an island of less than 15,000 people, there are more churches in the 32km perimeter of the island than shops in the shopping centre. Everything shuts down on Sunday, including the supermarkets and gas stations and don’t reopen until 6pm, just so everyone can go to church. I get angry that the supermarket down the road from my house isn’t 24 hours. They don’t have broadband, large cinemas or flat screen televisions, three things I use abundantly, and while in New Zealand I’m constantly five minutes early for appointments, in Raro 10am really means 10.20am. But the biggest difference is families. I love my family, but I couldn’t handle sharing a house with my brother for the rest of my life. But over there, families are a big deal. A bus driver I spoke to was one of 12 children, and one of his sister’s and her kids lived with him at his house. He has been saving up for years to go to Auckland for a month in December to see his mum and three of his siblings, who live with her. It will be the first time he’s seen her in 11 years. Culture is constantly evolving, and each town, city and country is growing at a different rate. So while we sip our trim milk lattes and attend the latest foreign doco at the film festival, remember somewhere not so far away from here, people have never tasted fresh milk.
reception
City Campus Level 2, WC Building 921 9805 8am-5pm Mon-Thurs 8am-4pm Fri North Shore Campus Level 2, AS Building 921 9949 8.30am-3pm Mon-Fri Manukau Campus MB107 921 9999 ext 6672 9am-3.30pm Mon-Thurs
management
Sue Higgins General Manager 921 9999 ext 5111 sue.higgins@aut.ac.nz
representation
Veronica Ng Lam AuSM Student President 921 9999 ext 8571 vnglam@aut.ac.nz
advocacy
Nick Buckby Liaison Manager 921 9999 ext 8379 nick.buckby@aut.ac.nz
marketing/events
Kate Campbell Marketing and Communications Manager 921 9999 ext 6537 kate.campbell@aut.ac.nz
media
Samantha McQueen Publications Co-ordinator 921 9999 ext 8774 samantha.mcqueen@aut.ac.nz
sports
Melita Martorana Sports Team Leader 921 9999 ext 7259 melita.martorana@aut.ac.nz
vesbar
Zane Chase Vesbar Manager 921 9999 ext 8378 zane.chase@aut.ac.nz For a full list of contact details plus profiles of AuSM staff & student executive and information on clubs visit:
www.ausm.org.nz
www.ausm.org.nz
5.
CHOPPER/MEXICAN PARTY/CANDYLAND/EATING COMP/ Photos by Anupam Singh and AuSM
w w w. a u s m . o r g . n z
6.
issue 16 2011
Disability Resource Service The Disability Resource Service offers information and a range of services for Deaf and disabled students, including: •
Advice on scholarships, grants and funding
•
Information and advice regarding specific learning disabilities, assessments and supports
•
Assistance to access specialist equipment or software
•
Study materials in alternative formats
•
In-class and examination supports
•
Access to designated parking areas
Contact us for more information: City Campus: North Shore:
(09) 921 9999 extension 8262 (09) 921 9999 extension 7778
disability.office@aut.ac.nz www.aut.ac.nz/student_services/disability
www.ausm.org.nz
7.
AUSA treasurer seeks AUT student serves mediation over “get up gold raped” comment by Christopher Chang
by Karina Abadia
The treasurer of Auckland University Students’ Association (AUSA) was shocked to be told on Facebook to “get raped” and has requested formal mediation with the person who posted it, the Auckland vice president of ACT on Campus. Vice president Cameron Browne’s comment to treasurer Tania Lim was sparked by a comment she made on a mutual friend’s Facebook page on June 21 in a thread several people were involved in. Despite being aware he is a planning student, Lim commented that “planning kids are wankers”. She now admits it was a “childish” thing to write. However, she believes it did not justify the “get raped” comment that followed. “I was in shock. I have issues with a past sexual assault and I felt quite vulnerable. I didn’t reply for a long time. I was quite frightened of him and not sure of his intentions.” The next week executive president of Act on Campus Peter McCaffrey sent the president of AUSA and Lim an email requesting a formal apology from the treasurer “so that everyone can move on from the matter”. Lim replied by saying: “I do not believe Act on Campus is entitled to an apology from me.” She asked to meet both McCaffrey and Browne “face to face in mediation” to sort out the issue. Lim expected McCaffrey to pass this information on to Browne. However, when we spoke to Browne he said “she’s made no effort to contact me”. On the Act on Campus website McCaffrey wrote that Browne had posted an apology to Lim on the
same thread. However, Lim said she did not see this apology. McCaffrey also said a group of “leftwingers” called Browne a range of names. Browne, he said, “somewhat understandably, was angry at the onslaught and made a stupid comment in reply”. McCaffrey wrote that Browne probably should have told Lim to “get fucked” instead. Wellington Young Feminists’ Collective coordinator Nicole Skews said Browne’s comment was “completely abhorrent”. “If they had apologised, we would’ve gone, good on you guys for owning that but they didn’t so we kept going,” said Skews. “What’s worrying about their attitude is they think they can say whatever they want and there are no repercussions.” When asked by debate if he regretted the “get raped” comment, Browne refused but instead said, “I haven’t lost any friends or any respect from anyone over this saga”. “Basically people that know me well enough are supporting me. Only people who don’t know me are making these comments.” It is not the first time ACT on Campus has been called out in the media for its comments on rape. In January an online quote comparing compulsory student union membership to gang rape was posted on the ACT on Campus website and received wide criticism. At the time McCaffrey told the Manawatu Standard he did not post it on the website and “I don’t have anything to answer for.”
An AUT University student’s decision to swap city planning for setting fine-dining tables was “the best thing” he ever did. Andy Hsu, 21, won a gold medal at the 2011 Nestlé Toque d’Or – the country’s longestrunning student cookery and food service competition - on July 18 at the ASB Showgrounds in Auckland. He was the only front-ofhouse competitor to claim gold, beating off competition from 12 other hospitality student teams from around New Zealand. The competition features in 17 countries worldwide and is credited with launching the career of British celebrity chef Jamie Oliver. Hsu is in his second year of a Bachelors degree in International Hospitality Management at AUT University. He started a civil engineering degree in Christchurch, but decided during his second year of study that it wasn’t for him. “I wasn’t prepared to spend the next four decades of my life calculating shear stress or beam mobility! I’m a people’s person so hospitality management always played in the back of my mind,” he says. The event celebrated its 21st anniversary this year, with Wellington Institute of Technology the overall winner of the competition. Event organiser Pip Duncan says the competing teams were required to prepare and serve six covers of a three-course
meal within two-and-a-half hours. Hsu says he was judged on “every single move”, from his presentation of polished cutlery and glassware, right down to how efficient he was with left and right hands. Culinary students Amy Barrowclough and Ron Raemaekers were part of the competing Toque d’or team and won silver medals. Team manager and chef trainer John Kelleher says the competition gives AUT a good profile and provides students with something to look up to. “It’s a stepping stone because these young students get recognised and sometimes get job offers.” Eventually Hsu hopes to work in food and beverage management, possibly at a hotel. He says having people skills is crucial to success. “To be a good manager you need strong leadership abilities, but being able to manage people effectively is very important because the overall performance of an establishment is down to you – you’re the one giving directions. “My ultimate goal is for every single customer to walk out happy.”
The Crimson Vendetta “wins the hearts of many” by Andrew Rex-Girvan (Red Bull ambassador)
was broken between the band and the recording went underway like clockwork. They managed to record two singles professionally, Banshee and In Your Hands, and while getting their CDs out at gig is a bit priority, playing support in front of bigger crowds is what the band is working towards in the future. AUT’s Battle of the Bands winners, “collective genre of hard rock/metal The band first started back in The Crimson Vendetta, have taken with a tinge of mainstream”, September 2008 as a couple of up their first place prize, spending a Comparing their previous studio mates playing round in a small day recording in the Auckland Red time at MAINZ, working in the flat in Mt Eden. Made up of Ty Bull studio. Red Bull studio was “next level”. Boniface on vocals, Nick Warner The five piece band, who With the help of the Red Bull and Andy Rees on lead guitar and describes their sound like a studio engineer Ben, the workload drums, Vesbar bar maiden Kylie
8.
Humphrey on bass and Giovanni Maglalang on rhythm guitar, their first songs were covers of some old favourites at the time, such as Linkin Park and Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. They are inspired by bands like Metallica, Escape the Fate, Tool, Bullet for my Valentine and System of a Down, making them the children of today’s modern hard rock/metal scene. Keep an eye out for these guys around town; we know for sure they’ll be playing at AUT Orientation 2012. issue 16 2011
Corner will The winning piece for Creative for a week day each k drin hot win one free from Piko*! only. The *Coffee, tea and hot chocolate for five day a k drin hot winner will have one free redeem their they day the from ting star , week days first drink.
Be in to
a N WI
$
Antonio Avretto Chinese Lanterns
Angel Guanlao Untitled
*
0 0 0 1 ! r e h c u o Travel V
Simply sign up at studentflights.co.nz or in store to get the latest deals from Student Flights Hamilton
Auckland
357 Victoria Street Call 0800 38 44 48
5 Victoria Street East Call 0800 39 44 48
*Register & win prize conditions: To be eligible, entrants must register their details at www.studentflights. co.nz or at any Student Flights store in NZ, prior to 5pm on 15 August 11. Entrants must be 18 years or over at time of entry. Existing Student Fights customers already registered on the database are also eligible to enter. The winning entrant shall receive a prize of $1000 travel voucher to be used at any Student Flights store in New Zealand prior to 31 August 12. By entering this competition you agree to receive promotional offers from Student Flights via email and/or TXT of which you can opt out at any stage. Winner will be drawn at random on 31 Aug 11 & will be notified by phone or email. Judges decision is final. Prize is nontransferable & not redeemable for cash or foreign exchange. Student Flights reserves the right to verify the validity of entries & to disqualify any entry that is not in accordance with these terms & conditions. Student Flight’s, a division of Flight Centre (NZ) Limited, standard terms and conditions apply, please refer to: www. studentflights.co.nz/booking-terms-condition
9.
www.ausm.org.nz SFA1120156 SF_Debate ad.indd 1
25/07/11
by Alicia Crocket
by Moon Lee
The annual Auckland Marathon is coming up in two months. Whether you’re going for the half or the full, you have to train both mentally and physically for a marathon. The secret to successful marathon/half marathon training lies within staying supremely motivated, training smart and safe, eating a proper diet and training for MENTAL strength as well. The days of just “gutting it out” are long gone. It takes a lot more than just physical strength and endurance to get you through months of training and the actual race day. You have to let your mind lead the way, not your body. “You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. The body will always give up. It is always tired in the morning, noon, and night. But the body is never tired if the mind is not tired.” - George S. Patton, U.S. Army General, 1912 Olympian It’s the mind that drives the body to run, but you are the one who is going to determine how strong your mind is. Before you step out of the house and start the training of the day, ask yourself, “Why you want to do this?”. Don’t let yourself off by stopping at the first answer. Dig deep! Why do you want to run a marathon or half marathon? When you go beyond that first thought, you will begin to realise what is really driving you and your mind. When you learn what the real motivator is for you, then you can use that to push yourself through the training and the big day. You will build the foundation that will get your subconscious mind working for you, not against you. And you are in for an incredible experience. “We are different, in essence, from other men. If you want to win something, run 100 metres. If you want to experience something, run a marathon.” - Emil Zatopek, 1952 Olympic Marathon gold medalist Whether you’re already running more than 50K per week or if you haven’t seen a pair of running shoes in 10 years, YOU can successfully train for a marathon or half marathon, and finish it gracefully. Believe in yourself; then you will realise your goal. For marathon/half marathon training tips and training programme, please contact the City fitness centre at AUT. Happy running!
Serves 5 Dairy Free, gluten free if use GF stock Cost per serve: $2.50 with rice
Long before Kan Tong sauces appeared (yes, there was a time before Kan Tong) my mother was making sweet and sour pork from scratch. When the sauces came out, mum started to refer to her recipe as the ‘proper’ one. This recipe is different to what you get in the Kan Tong jar, it’s less sweet and less sickly and it’s also not as red (although you could add food colouring if you really wanted to). The beauty of making your own sauce is that you can add as much sweet or sour as you wish; you can even add chilli if you like a bit of a kick.
Ingredients
1 Tbsp oil 1 onion 2 cloves of garlic OR 2 tsps minced garlic 2cm fresh ginger, grated OR 2 tsps minced ginger 400g pork or chicken 2 cups chopped vegetables (carrots, capsicum, cucumber (when in season), beans, spring onions, mushrooms) Sweet and sour sauce 2 Tbsps tomato sauce OR tomato puree 2 Tbsps sugar (to taste) 2 Tbsps white vinegar (to taste) 1 tsp stock powder mixed with 1 cup of water 1 x 440g can pineapple pieces, drained (but KEEP THE JUICE for the sauce)
Directions
1 Prepare your vegetables 2 Mix together sauce ingredients and add pineapple juice to taste. 3 Put the rice on to cook when you start cooking the onion 4 Heat oil in a fry pan or wok and sauté onion, garlic and ginger for a few minutes. Remove and put aside to use later 5 Cook meat in the fry pan or wok – in batches if necessary 6 Add other vegetables and sauté for a few minutes 7 Add onion, ginger and garlic back into the pan 8 Add sauce and pineapple pieces and bring to the boil 9 If you want to thicken the sauce mix a teaspoon of cornflour in a small amount of water and stir into the boiling sauce 10 Serve on rice
10.
issue 16 2011
1. What was the name of the island in Norway where 86 people were killed at a summer camp last week? a) Lofoten Island b) Svalbard Island c) Utoya island d) Bear Island
2. Which musical is coming to Auckland’s Civic Theatre in April next year? a) Jersey Boys b) The Wizard of Oz c) Wicked d) Mary Poppins
3. Who is the current executive editor of the New York Times? a) Arthur Sulzberger Jr b) Bill Keller c) Jill Abramson d) David Carr
4. How old is singer/actress Jennifer Lopez? a) 36 b) 39 c) 42 d) 45
5. What is the first game scheduled for the 2011 Rugby World Cup? a) Scotland vs. Romania b) Fiji vs. Samoa c) Australia vs. Italy d) New Zealand vs. Tonga
6. How many years has Queen Elizabeth II reigned?
11. What position does baseball star Derek Jeter, who recently scored his 3000th hit, play for the New York Yankees?
a) 49 years b) 53 years c) 59 years d) 61 years
7. Which deceased artist is not part of the 27 club a) Amy Winehouse b) Kurt Cobain c) Jimi Hendrix d) River Phoenix
8. When is the 2011 New Zealand general election? a) October 23 b) October 24 c) November 25 d) November 26
9. Who wrote The Hunger Games trilogy? a) Charlene Harris b) Suzanne Collins c) Stephenie Meyer d) George R.R. Martin
10. Which one of these museums is not found in New York City? a) Metropolitan Museum of Art b) the Museum of Modern Art c) Tate Modern d) Guggenheim Museum
a) Shortstop b) Left field c) Second base d) Centre field
12. Where was actress Anna Paquin born? a) Palmerston North, New Zealand b) Winnipeg, Canada c) San Francisco, USA d) Louisiana, USA
13. What is the name of the real life waterfall which Pixar animation Up depicted fictionally as Paradise Falls? a) Angel Falls b) Fairy Falls c) Sutherland Falls d) Yosemite Falls
14. Which Shakespeare play does the quote “Something is rotten in the state of Denmark”appear in? a) Hamlet b) Othello c) The Merchant of Venice d) The Taming of the Shrew
15. Who is directing The Avengers movie, set for release in May 2012? a) Kenneth Branagh b) Bill Condon c) Joss Whedon d) Jon Favreau
Answers: C, A, B, C, D, C, D, D, B, C, A, B, A, A, C. www.ausm.org.nz
11.
s t Moye
by Scot
match ith their n; a w n o s r Fer al sea abit rnation he Silve eir inte but wearing t are making a h h t ff o k e s ny d ic k o k c is T s . la h t k chan made e All B ll Blac rters to hey’re ugh, th g the A Jarrad Hoeata o o in p h t h p c u it t s a I was w i last month. ou have to adm ames for their ecially when t received n it Fij sp .Y against ment for sure than flattering good name, e e Sheila Diksh d o an m sa ss m g e fa le v l d in e a t u lo a n o m e r ig o p g out s Hore. Everyon t the internatio some invest ance. in n r u e adv of ch to do ok a drew r for th t. Just lo decided rt. Apologies in ock. An hot Baseball outfieldice ago White Sox g s k Woodc in the spotligh alth Games. I o c i p s D ld y e h ein e wor we 6: Johnwnas a Major LeagYuork Giants and Cthe name ‘ugly’, bar. someon 010 Common orst names in 2 w e e n Johnny with th a list of the 10 tes, New was even give the time. Oh d e t rgh Pira ed Pittsbu 936 and ‘45. H n in baseball a compil a n1 betwee ly the ugliest m d e s o at supp mpeted e has co pionships, H . r k e u lt S m July oo Cha le vau lish 5: Kim YSouth Korean pos and 2005 Worldth events. Irony. In the Eng retty is n e a o a b m y is m Kim nal in otto miliar with. R be fair, he’s a p 001 pic Ga tres. 4 Olym ch the fi 5.66 me n Sideb 2 the 200 e failed to rea l best jump of 10: Ryany of you will be Sfaideshow Bob. Torst test match in a rh na a howeve ade his perso s like nding d his fi One m m ho look that. He playe fter spe eturn in e w A h . r r 5 e aulting t le 0 e 0 2 crick st bow lific r ter at p pole v ork o e fa u r k p n m ic e a r r k a c e a d ft ad rn had t nt at Y talente n as a le idelines, he m e Black Caps. Cockbu nly she a stude Pakista s h : Karenlso a gymnast (if otrampolinist and 2000 Summer 4 against f years on the trick against t a n he ro est-hat Karen is n is a Canadia ze medal at t e 2003 World numbe ding a t n e lu r to win o c th a r t in b K a , also). 2007 went on won a medal ut at e n o e h ld b h S a o t . g d y e a e it h ody jok o follow Univers in Sydney and r, Germany. S e Kerr e ‘Eric Shin’ everyeb. Those of you wohrld Cup. He ics nove n y a W Olymp s in Ha : 9 kes her m the 2008 W y plays for ionship nt of th s. e p jo c n m o e is a h N t h in C fro icall Rem 4 in A chool. ber him h team. He typ a third tier r in 200 ediate S m e e v m r il ut also m s e e t r , In One sweet, b mer. e may the Iris ip f u r h o g s t a fo n r le e o io c s y rugb hamp earan yman ood chuckle. It’s e name of a swime Sydney in the C sole app g Misty H : 3 made a m Roughyeds UK. suits th utterfly at th e me a v ha almost the one ga It in . is g h n 200m b in T the Old io k it l in the ly shoc a yle compet d t ib s e e d e e u m e r g c fr a in le gold male on the s is a fe 06 Winter Misty w in 2000. r. Silvet s 0 t 2 ie t e e ir v e h l r t d s i a S ic s in tle or, but Olymp 8: Assolstart getting a lits. She placed fifthnts here; surname an Greg ould h t h g u e pare en. etter la ka Fucka w Now w r from Bellaru s to the ames are chos gor Fu,cMisty gave me atba glance. Gregoran basketball kie e r a point r n t G t x s : E r 2 aerial s . fi s t e issed a an Itali o admit ally, bu s ic Gam I have t me could be m ightmare. He’s Olymp wn automatic 0 he wa a o n . In 200 n d ll ’s ’s a r d t y o t f t o is a m t c e 5 M n passe n 1 e e is o pping 2 ear. a comm river. H 1989 just be nding at a who layer of the Y e l k ce car d ickle was the a c r i P a r n t n s a T a e r e ic playe Europ 7: Dickis a retired Amer es on the list. Tr lights also includ and d as the 9 credite if it was Trickle celebrated nam ar. Career high s between 197 hips ly great er; he’s s r e e b a n Y r e u o e io y o h p d e m t m f e n in th ith ee tz ie o in n ge cha R Rook nships sty Kunand would have abnslation’ excuseLeeague Baseball u Challen teady flow of R o : lc 1 NASCA GO champio e yed a s n RT Major SA AC-D st in tr he best Easily t There’s no ‘lo ty’ is a former o White Sox o seven A ack to back A k Trickle enjo . b ic s n ag d u D a n ic , ‘R a m h ly r o r C o a w , e le ll a h 1987 e t C s and 85. an. Rus his debut with r. Americ in 1984 ring his caree e u d He mad 9. . s r playe award 7 9 1 , 1 r e b Septem
12. issue 16 2011
by Rocky Mak
By the time the article about the NBA lockout by James Wheeler came out on stands last week, NFL had finally sorted out their own Collective Bargaining Agreement (CBA), thus ending the lockout, which should be settled for 10 years. This included player safety, rule changes and grievance compensations. While it was the longest lockout since 1982 and 1987 (the latter was the theme of the movie called The Replacements), because the drama had been around in the off-season, it will not impact on the regular season and the playoffs... much. Had it been going on well into December, the financial loss would be hit far worse than NHL, NBA and MLB due to the shorter season. It is worth noting though that pre-season had been cut to three weeks as games will not occur in hall-of-fame week, where past players are being enshrined in pro football hall-of-fame in Canton, Ohio. Yes, Commissioner Roger Gooddell and player union executives Jeff Saturday (centre for Peyton Manning in Indianapolis Colts) and Kevin Marae (centre in Tennessee Titans), all proclaimed “football is back�. Business from now on is back to normal. Player trading and trainings are back. However, is there enough time to get ready? Rookie players are in the most vulnerable positions, especially rookie franchise quarterbacks that are expected to start for their respective teams. Because American football is full of systems, plays, philosophies and strategies, there is almost not enough time for them to learn the plays due to there not being summer training camps. It is especially detrimental for teams desperately in need to throw the QBs to start by week one of regular season in late September. Some may be facing further pressure due to new coaches being installed, which basically means different philosophies and playbooks in place. By this reasoning, Minnesota Vikings, San Francisco 49ers, Carolina Panthers and Tennessee Titans are expected to struggle this season because they have new head coaches and rookie starting QBs. However, other teams still face uncertainties. Between now and mid-August, general managers and team owners are under the radar. Due to the lockout, many unrestricted free-agents and undrafted rookie free-agents are not being able to negotiate, let alone
www.ausm.org.nz
sign, then train, with other teams. Restricted free agents are not able to re-sign with their current teams. The free-agent market is so flooded with talent that it is difficult to complete the competition for players and filling an extended roster of 80 spots in only a-month-and-a-half or so before pruning back to 53, while keeping under a salary cap. Some notable free agents include Darrelle Revis (cornerback), Nnamdi Asomugha (cornerback), Kevin Kolb (quarterback) and Plaxico Burress (wide receiver coming out of jail from gun possession charges). The salary cap means the NFL face the same problem (or worse) than the NBA. The spotlights are centred on Asomugha and Revis, as they are two of the best cornerbacks in the league right now. If they get signed, they are on par to get a long-term contract worth over $70 million. But at the very least, they deserve it. Albert Haynesworth, who scored a seven-year, $100 million contract in Washington, had been whining about not being able to play in the formation of choice. He was a three-defensive-tackle-type nose tackle in Washington, which was not what he was used to. A seemingly simple change of changing a defensive tackle out to a linebacker changes his techniques required and philosophies. Simply put, he was a HUGE liability on the team. Given the precedence, will any team with ample cap space (like Houston Texans), even take a shot at trying to pay and trade for the service of either Revis or Asomugha? On the other side of the spectrum, Baltimore Ravens have already released two veteran players on offense, Derrick Mason (wide receiver) and Todd Heap (tight end) to free up cap space. More could be expected. Finally, the economical impact due to multiplier effect than was generated through domestic sporting tourism affects local businesses and hospitality sectors. If both NBA and NFL continued the lockout, the local economy of some towns and cities could flat-line. While that had been somewhat averted with NFL coming back, could it save the US economy? That is another debate, from another person, for another day.
13.
Re-Orientation AuSMness!
We hope you enjoyed Re-Orientation 2011 and managed to catch some of the many events: Chopper, Reggae Night, Cowboy Party, Photobooth, Bitchin’ Bingo, Candy Land Mini Golf, Mexican Party and lots of Free Feeds! As always, we want to make each year better so if you have any feedback let us know! Email kate.campbell@aut.ac.nz with compliments, complaints, requests and ideas! Check out photos from the week at www.facebook.com/ausm1
Nominations for the 2012 Student Executive are now OPEN!
Check your email inbox - you should have received an email with a link to the nomination website last week. If you want to find out about what being on the student executive entails we have compiled some FAQs on the AuSM homepage www.ausm.org.nz
14.
AuSM Sport and Fitness
Stay fit and healthy over winter! AuSM have loads of social sports, events and fitness classes for you to join! Upcoming events include:
• AUT Turbo Touch League • Northern Tertiary Challenge • Auckland Student Cup • NZ Uni Snow Games Free fitness classes at North Shore Campus (every week) • Monday, Yoga Mix @ 5pm • Tuesday, Step @ 6pm • Wednesday, Zumba @ 5pm • Thursday, Box Fit @ 5pm • Friday, Yoga @ 7am For more information on everything sport email: melita.martorana@aut.ac.nz and sign up for the AuSM Sport e-newsletter.
issue 16 2011
by Brandham Kelly An essay on my favorite place in the world that I done for my teacher
My favourite place in the world is Starbucks. I love Starbucks because it is close to uni and I go there and the drinks they make taste yum and I like them. When I go to Starbucks I go in through the door because when I tried to go in through the window I got in trouble. The lady behind the bench thing says “hello, can I help you” but she looks grumpy but I say “yes please”. I tell the lady that I want a triple shot caramel mochaccino with an extra shot of
“I’m so spoiled – I must have a Starbucks vanilla latte every day.” − Katie Holmes on taking pleasure in the simple things “CARAMEL LATTE IS PEOPLE!” - Charlton Heston on caramel latte
www.ausm.org.nz
happiness ha ha but she doesn’t get it she just looks at me funny. She asks for my name and I tell her and then because it looks like she is having a bad day I pay her eight dollars in 10 cent coins that I have been collecting from underneath the couch cushions of all the people’s houses I visit when they aren’t in the room. She doesn’t smile but that is probably because she has to make lots of coffees for people every day and never gets to have any for herself.
The other reason why I love Starbucks is because they are so friendly and they make every coffee for you especially, which is why they ask for your name. I like it because it’s cool and it’s a game because every time I go there they give me a new nickname and I know the lady remembers me because she always pretends to be grumpy but I know she isn’t really because nobody could be grumpy in a place where they have lots of syrup. She must forget the nickname though because it’s never the same twice. While I am waiting for my coffee I like to look around the shop and investigate. I look in all the corners to see if there are field mice but there aren’t any because this isn’t a field it is actually a coffee shop.
Usually there is a poster with an African man who grows the coffee beans and he always looks really happy. I name him Garth because I think he looks like his name is Garth in real life but it might not be it might be Kevin or Malcolm, or because he is African it could be an African name but I don’t know any African names. But he looks really happy so I guess Starbucks must be paying him lots of money to stand still and smile for their photo. When I am in Starbucks it feels
like time is going really quickly because I really like it in here because it’s like Narnia or Lego Land. But it isn’t really, the lady is just taking a long time to make my drink because she keeps coughing like a sea lion and staring at people in case they are stealing coasters but I think she is just trying to be friendly she is just not very good at it yet because she hasn’t had much practice and is too busy making me coffee and coughing like a sea lion. When the lady finishes making my coffee she puts it onto the counter, it is a little bit empty but I don’t mind because I like the lady who pretends to be grumpy and I know Garth or Kevin or Malcolm is happy so I am too. My coffee has my new nickname on the side too, it’s a really cool one, my nickname
is Brandham. I am going to get my Mum to call me it. I walk out the door and wave at the lady behind the bench thing, she says bye and then coughs like a sea lion again. I want to tell her to go to the doctor but then I can’t remember if sea lions go to the doctor but then I remember that she is just coughing like a sea lion she isn’t actually one and by the time I remember I am already outside and it’s too late to tell her to go to the vet or to the doctor. Here is a list of fun things to do if you are going to Starbucks: 1. Look in the corners for field mice. 2. If you find any field mice capture them or text me so I can capture them for you. 3. Tell jokes to the grumpy lady she likes it and will cough at you. 4. Use your cup as a Power Ranger wrist guard and play Power Ranger wrist guard battles with your friends. 5. Always pay in 10 cent coins because the grumpy lady likes shiny things. Thank you so so so so much for reading about my favourite place in the world that is Starbucks. I hope it will help you to go to Starbucks and to visit the grumpy lady and to visit Garth or Malcolm or Kevin and to hear what a sea lion cough sounds like. I will write one more essay for next week about my favourite animal species that is a zebra.
15.
Aboakyer
Not everyone believes in Santa
Who: The Effutu people of Ghana When: May (or Spring)
by Alisha Lewis
What: A deer hunting festival
where a special offering to the god Panche Otu is made. Two teams of men, dressed in brightly coloured costumes, compete to be the first to bring back a live deer or antelope to bring to the Chief – without using any weapons. Afterwards, everyone dances together and celebrates. Why: The festival serves to mark
the migration of the Effutu people from the ancient Western Sudan Empire. They were led by two brothers and a god called Otu. They were then instructed to sacrifice a young member of the royal family every year to Otu. They appealed to the god to let them sacrifice an animal instead. This story was sung in war chants and told during moonlit nights – preserved this way until it could be formally written for everyone to read.
Chinese New Year Who: Chinese When: First day of the first
month in the Chinese calendar. What: Chinese New Year, or
Chinese Lunar New Year, is the most important festival in the Chinese calendar. Its origin is centuries old and the festival is based on a range of myths and traditions. The festival ends with the Lantern Festival on the 15th day. Suring this time, people spend lots of money on food, presents and clothing in order to celebrate. It is tradition for families to thoroughly clean out their houses in order to sweep away any bad fortune
Why: According to myths, the
festival began when a mythical beast called the Nian would visit villages on the first day of the New Year to eat livestock, crops and children. To protect themselves, villagers put out food so that the Nian wouldn’t be hungry. On one occasion, the Nian was scared away by a child wearing red leading people to believe it was afraid of the colour. Since then, every New Year, people hang red lanterns and red spring scrolls on windows and doors.
16.
In a city as diverse as Auckland, we often see festivals from different cultures around the world, like Chinese New Year or Matariki. For some, it’s just a chance to see some pretty lanterns, eat some yummy food or enjoy cultural performances, but for others, the festivals have real significance. So while you may counting down the days until Santa arrives (146), others are counting down to other cultural celebrations.
Matariki Who:
Maori/New Zealanders When: June what: Matariki, the traditional
Maori New Year, is the name given to a group of stars known as the Pleiades or The Seven Sisters. The Maori New Year is marked by the rise of Matariki and the sighting of the next new moon. The pre-dawn rise of Matariki happens towards the end of May and the New Year is then officially marked by the sighting of the next full moon which occurs sometime in June. Matariki is celebrated with education, remembrance and often, the planting of new trees to symbolize new beginnings. Different cities in New Zealand also organise festivals.
Why:
Traditionally, the coming season’s crops were determined based on the visibility of Matariki. The brighter the stars, the warmer the season and therefore, the more productive the crop. It was also seen as an important time for family to gather and reflect on the past and the future. Today, Matariki is celebrated to reflect on the uniqueness of New Zealand and the sacredness of the land.
hanukkah Who: Jews When: 25th day of the Jewish month of Kislev, usually around December. What: Hanukkah is the Jewish festival of lights which
lasts for eight days. Each day is represented on an elaborate eight-armed candlestick called a menorah. Each night, a new candle is lit until all eight are alight together. People also celebrate Hanukkah by singing songs, giving presents, eating traditional food such as latkes (special potato pancakes) and spinning a dreidel (spinning top) to win treats.
Why: To remember a miraculous day in which one day’s
worth of oil burned for eight days in a Jewish temple (the exact amount of time needed to procure more oil).
Ramadan and eid Who: Muslims When: Ninth month of the Islamic calendar, lasting 29 to
30 days.
What: During this holy month, Muslims fast. They do not eat, drink or smoke from sunrise to sunset for an entire month. Instead, days are often spent in worship, praying in mosques. Ramadan ends on the morning after the new moon is seen in the sky. This marks the first day of the celebration of Eid al-Fitr, which means ‘the breaking of the fast’. During this three day festival, people visit friends and relatives, give gifts and eat special food in celebration. Why: Muslims fast in honour of Allah (Arabic translation
of God) . They believe Ramadan to be a sacred month for Allah to make revelations of humankind, as it was the month in which the first verses of the Quran were revealed to the Islamic prophet, Muhammed.
diwali Who: Hindus When: The new moon which falls either late October or early November. What: Diwali is the Hindu festival of lights and is one of India’s largest religious festivals. Lasting two days, lamps, decorative lights and candles light up the homes of most Indians. Streets and temples are also lit with colourful lights and delicious smelling food is sold by street vendors. At night, spectacular fireworks displays light the skies. Why: The lights are aimed to welcome the Hindu god Rama while the loud bangs of the fireworks are meant to ward off evil spirits. In some parts of India, the festivals is also dedicated to Lakshmi, goddess of prosperity, in the hopes that she will be drawn to people’s homes and bring good fortune.
issue 16 2011
by Rebecca Lee I come from a place with a population of little under 4,000 people. It is a beautiful little town but I’m sure 90 per cent of readers won’t have a clue where it is. Not only does it have the best place name in New Zealand but it also has breathtaking scenery and if that’s not enough, the hustle bustle of
which you can visit at the foot of the mountain. Nestled under the mountains is our beautiful ancient town. The buildings are still up from the 1840s while shops and cafes have continued the theme throughout the town. Whoever established Te Aroha chose a fantastic spot. If nature and mountains don’t appeal, then just hop in the car - Hamilton or Waihi beach are both only 40 minutes around the corner. This means you’re close enough to the party without being suffocated by it. Auckland is only the city is only a short drive away. Although a an hour and a half away and Mt Ruehapehu is about four. beautiful town with many potentials there are The only downside from living in a small town is what I always the downsides of small town living, what call “small town syndrome”. People get stuck and infatuated we have is “small town syndrome”. with their little town and stay there from the day they First and foremost, place name. Te Aroha. The are born till the day they die. I thought it was just Te Love. I have heard two Maori legends behind Aroha that had this effect on people but recently I the name. First is the romantic Romeo and Juliet have found that nearly every small town in New type love story; a girl and a boy from opposing Zealand has the same problem. We have tribes fell in love. They weren’t allowed to all gone through the phase of drinking, be with each other so legend has it that they wagging school, not wanting to go lay together and died. If you look at the anywhere… but when does it come time to mountains you can see them lying down, the grow out of this and start being an adult? I man on the left and his lover on the right. The think living in a small town makes life a lot second: Rāhiri climbed the mountain and saw easier and if something’s not broke, why fix it? his homeland in the distance and felt a sense of I don’t know what it is that has made myself and love (aroha) for it. many other small town folk want to leave but I feel Not only do we have the most “lovely” place name but we are also that I couldn’t stay there all my life. blessed with beautiful scenery from mountain ranges to fresh water In saying this, when I get a bit older and start to swimming holes. We have the Kaimai Ranges surrounding our wee town. have kids I might move to a smaller town so they can The highest point is our very own Mount Te Aroha. The summit is 952 have a wonderful childhood just like I did. They can metres and it takes around two hours to climb. If hiking isn’t your thing be outdoorsy little characters, biking to school through the there is ample biking and walk tracks around the mountain for different wetlands, going on mountain hikes with dad. But when push fitness levels. If you just want to relax you can take a small walk from the comes to shove, I’ll try get them out of the town so they can experience other side of the mountain to find private, fresh water swimming holes. the real world like we all have to. This lovely little town is also home to the only hot soda water geyser,
TEAMS OF 4 $20 PER TEAM LIMIT 15 TEAMS SO GET IN QUICK!
RACE HELD ON WED 17TH AUGUST STARTS 11.00AM
WIN AMAZING-ER PRIZES FOR 1ST, 2ND & 3RD PLACE TEAMS EACH TEAM ALSO GETS THEIR OWN UNIQUE TEAM COLOUR T-SHIRT!
COLLECT REGISTRATION FORMS & REGISTER YOUR TEAM AT AUSM ENTRIES CLOSES 10TH AUGUST, LIMIT 15 TEAMS SO BE QUICK! FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT FACEBOOK.COM/CLOUD9CLUB www.ausm.org.nz
17.
One of the first things my sister said to me when she met me at the arrivals terminal at JFK Airport was, “I hope you’re ready, because my goal for the next five weeks is to make you fall in love with New York”. She’s always been an overachiever. For the next month I lived and breathed New York. I walked the streets of Manhattan till I knew how to get from Chinatown to Soho to Union Square without using a map. I knew which subway lines to take and which ones had better air-conditioning. My sister, holding true to her word, did her best to set the scene for me to have the sweetest summer fling, the most intense love affair, with one of the greatest cities on earth. New York wooed me with Broadway plays, comedy shows and outdoor movies. It spoiled me with the best bookstores and restaurants and galleries. It tempted me with summer sales and an indelible buzz. At the end of the month, as I packed to come home, I remember writing to a friend in an email: “Finding it impossible to fit the past month into two suitcases.” It’s even more so trying to fit the past month into two pages, but I’m going to try anyway.
Food
by Alisha Lewis
18.
It all really started with my first bite of New York pizza. Within seconds, I was sold. But in that perfect moment of cheesy, pepperonified goodness, I didn’t know that I was only just beginning to scratch the surface of all the culinary possibilities New York held. From food stalls at street fairs to trendy restaurants, I went everywhere and tried everything. I had Ethiopian in the East Village, Peruvian at Columbus Circle, Crepes in Brooklyn, Chinese in Chinatown, Pasta in Little Italy, Empanadas in Hell’s Kitchen, Barbecue in Harlem and Sushi in Greenwich Village. We even visited Katz’s Deli in the Lower East Side – from When Harry Met Sally. I didn’t have ‘what she had’ but I did try some really good matzah ball soup. One of my favourites though, was a grungy little burger bar known to most New Yorkers as ‘the hidden burger joint’. Tucked away in the foyer of a five star hotel (Le Parker Meridian) the place is hidden behind floor-to-ceiling red velvet curtains. I’m not really sure why it’s such a big secret – the entire hotel lobby smells like burgers – but when most of the city is overrun by tourists, I can see why people might want to keep some things private. It’s still always packed though. Serving only cheeseburgers, hamburgers, milkshakes and fries, this place is easily where I had the best burgers of my life. And if you don’t want to take my word for it, the walls are covered with messages from celebrities, ranging from Heidi Klum to Jack Black, all vouching for the best burgers in New York. One of the best surprises however, was actually stumbling across a little New Zealand restaurant on the border of the Financial District and South Street Seaport. Nelson Blue – complete with Maori carvings and Watties sauce – served up a mean steak and cheese pie (with roast potatoes and mushroom gravy). All washed down with a Steiny, of course.
issue 16 2011
New York. It was an amazing feeling walking through the Pride Parade, which overflowed with colour and fabulousness and acceptance. Aside from visual art, I got my cultural fix through summer gigs and an amazing night of jazz at the famous Lincoln Centre in Columbus Circle. I travelled two hours out of New York to Philadelphia to see Florence and the Machine perform an outdoor concert by the sea. It was a stunning night, a simple set and a stellar performance from Florence Welch. Her voice is even better live. It’s surprising how many ways New York can inspire you - whether it’s a gallery exhibition, an acapella blues street performance or an impromptu break dancing competition in a subway station. Art is alive. You can almost hear it breathe. I went to New York armed with two blank journals and some pencils, expecting to fill them with bursts of inspiration. But the truth is, there’s so much culture and craziness to soak up that you don’t want to waste time concentrating on a blank page. You take it all home with you, though.
Arts & culture I spent seven hours at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The reason for this was 90 per cent due to the fact that it was completely fascinating and 10 per cent due to the fact that it was air-conditioned. (It was really that hot – the temperature reached 40 degrees once). While my sister was at work each day, I would lose myself in either the streets of Manhattan, or its museums and galleries. The Met was my favourite, partly due to its vastness and range of exhibitions (The Alexander McQueen exhibit was on while I was there) as well as the fact that it contained both classical, renaissance and modern art. Most of the museums and galleries can be found on a stretch of Fifth Ave known as Museum Mile. I expected to only need a couple of days to get through them all. I ended up needing almost a week. Another day went to MoMA (the Museum of Modern Art) which comprised of room after room of captivating, engaging art – or ‘art’ (for all the modern art ‘that’s not art’ critics out there). The Guggenheim was also on my must-see list – simply for its architecture let alone for the amazing works it contained. One of the great things about New York is the way it fuses the old with the new. Even with art, you can see classics from Van Gogh and Monet alongside more contemporary works from the likes of Andy Warhol and Georgia O’Keefe. The Whitney Museum of American Art and The American Museum of Natural History were also well worth their entrance fares, although I did find the Whitney tended to stretch the concept of ‘modern art’ a little far. While I was there, the fourth floor comprised solely of video games playing on a huge screen and a game of mini golf set up to one side. You could almost mistake it for a kid’s play area rather than an installation. But one of the best things about New York’s art scene is its diversity. Even if you don’t like it or agree with it, it still stirs something in you – a challenge, a protest. Chelsea – which is where I was staying – is also crammed with lots of smaller, private galleries which are worth seeing if you have the time. Chelsea is also the ‘gaybourhood’ of Manhattan. I was lucky enough to be there for the huge (or hugely overdue) moment in history when gay marriage was finally legalised in the state of
www.ausm.org.nz
Being a tourist During the past five weeks my aim was to seem as non-touristy as possible. For five weeks I was a New Yorker. I avoided Times Square, hung out in the Village and only snuck covert glances at my little guidebook when I thought no one was looking. By week four, someone even asked me for directions and I was actually able to help them. But there were some obnoxious-tourist activities that I couldn’t bring myself to forego in my attempt to be the ultimate bagel-eating, highheel wearing, Starbucks sipping, New Yorker. So for one week I allowed myself to be a tourist. I bought an ‘I heart NY’ T-shirt. I wore my oversized camera round my neck. I went to the top of the Empire State Building at sunset. I went to a taping of The View and toured the United Nations. I visited Atlantic City and the Jersey Shore. I took photos in Times Square at 2am. I saw Chicago and Mary Poppins on Broadway. I toured the NBC studios and 30 Rock. I sailed across the harbour at night. I visited the Statue of Liberty. I swallowed my pride and it was totally worth it. The view from the top of the Empire State building was incredible. My sister was successful – I fell in love with New York. There’s so much more I could write about it. Maybe one day I’ll write a novel about New York. Maybe one day I’ll live there. For now though, all I have is a two page article, a photo album on Facebook and memories.
19.
by Danielle Whitburn Muscles. Tattoos. Mohawks. Leather jackets. Cigarettes. Whiskey flasks. All these things have one thing in common. Depending on where you live in Auckland it could be your next door neighbour, an imaginary character you could never even imagine meeting, or a gangster thug from Tarantino movies. All these things too, are our favourite things. Push the feeling of disgust to the side, and all you have left is sexy. Leather, smoking, half-haired freaks who we like to call the bad guys. Unfortunately, in this case nice guys do finish last. I am yet to meet a girl who has not been out with a guy of this type. Post break-up, they are always referred to as ‘that loser’, or that ‘bad period in your life’ when you were on self-destruct mode. Because, let’s face it, to date that guy, you had to be. To be honest, when you saw them sidling up the sidewalk with that smirky look and an unwashed feel, a feeling of ‘ugh’ did seem to shiver down your spine. Then some talking happened, and you went somewhere cool you hadn’t been before, and they became aloof and unreachable and suddenly, well, you kind of liked them. They acquired mystery and charm and eventually an irresistible aura because they didn’t give you the approval that that sweet-soand-so from down the road always did. They were inaccessible. And they had a motorbike. For most teenage girls, this is enough:
20.
enough to bypass usual judgement, ignore family and friends’ warnings and to go down the dirty path of boyfriend badness. Classiness, a high calibre of education and perfect beauty are not enough to stop the luckiest of girls who have the world at their feet swooning for some suave stoner. Being romantic begins to equal romantic suffering, a suffering borne of the reality that the bad boy is an egotist who could only love himself. But still the love continues on. Ending in some tragic, Romeo and Juliet episode, the bad-boy love affair is onesided. The girl believes their love is forever fated, destined despite poverty and substance abuse, meant to be despite his endlessly roving eye. The bad boy, forever his iconic self, thinks of her as hot but needy, replaced by another longhaired lovely to share his sordid sheets with. The question is: what makes the bad boy so appealing? Why, after all their ridiculous escapades and shameful secrets are left exposed, is there nothing left to hate? The lovable larrikin of the social group, bad boys, I would argue, know the sciences of persuasion and flattery. This charm, if it is not tended to with the care needed for the most beautiful rose, will degenerate into slutdom. And with slutdom comes confidence, with confidence comes apathy, and with apathy comes an anti-establishment attitude. Ever notice that the lovable loser always carries an underlying resentment
for authority? I point to the above as evidence for this common and often appealing trait. Most bad boys are, in reality, outsiders. Outsiders aside, the fact is many women are romantic creatures. Carrying inside themselves Victorian novels and movies such as The Notebook and other Jennifer Aniston rom-coms, they are taught that there is a moment in their lives that will be their perfect romantic moment. This moment will contain candles, a starlit dinner, a beautiful ball dress and perfect etiquette, a man in a suit and maybe even a ring in his hand. Many women get carried away in these fantasies, reading Cosmo to try and find how they can improve themselves so that this moment can take place in their lives. It is a perfect delusion and a delusion that is perfect for a master romantic rogue. But hang on, you say. My ex Steve, or my friend’s ex Gary, or my girlfriend’s ex (that I’m secretly jealous of) was not in a suit with 40s style hair, would never have lit candles and does not in the least resemble Colin Farrell. The problem is indeed this: the bad boy does not resemble the fantasy. The catalyst for the bad boy’s chances with a self-respecting woman, however, is not what they look like: it is what they sound like. Women love with their ears. What they might be seeing is a pair of dirty socks, a smoke-filled car and a reddish dope eye, but what they hear is what they have been told they would one day hear as a young,
hopeful child. ‘You are the One’, ‘You are the most beautiful woman in the world’ or ‘I have never loved anyone the way I love you’ are all things that are easy to say but, for the stoner, hard to follow up on. Coupled with the resulting aloofness and unreachability, a girl who thought they once had a poor guy in the palm of their hand begins to feel as if her hand is now guy-poor and, subsequently, she believes she loves him too. It is reverse psychology at its finest and often hard to escape. Does it have to be the destiny of every fine girl in Auckland to have gone through the human disappointment of dating a bad boy? It really depends on how fast you can learn. Can you watch your friend go through a similar situation and be able to spot a bad boy from a distance? Could you keep a mental list of what your requirements are in a boyfriend and stick to them regardless of contrary feelings of passion? Unfortunately, many cannot. But for the smart ones among us, you only do it the once. Lovable though they may be, alluring as they are, the boredom of their dumb-ass behaviour sets in pretty quick. Make one your boyfriend and your love radar will forever be on the anti-hunt
issue 16 2011
Amy Winehouse:
A eulogy for the “villian” of the music industry by Adam Warin
I will never forget where I was when I heard the news. It was the morning after a heavy night of drinking and I had stumbled my way through the jungle of people strewn across my living room floor to the toilet, where I was purging the demon inside my bowel when there was a slamming on the door. “Oi, fag,” my roommate lovingly shouted to me through the four inch door. “Amy Winehouse is dead.” At first I was filled with disbelief. How could this be true? To me, it was like hearing (spoiler alert) that Santa wasn’t real. She was this mythical, drug taking fiend who defied the laws of nature. It was with her logic that I could justify a 64 hour long bender which results in waking up in a foreign country wearing nothing but a single gumboot and puzzle pieces hot glued to my nipples. However, after a quick check of a few reputable websites (because internet in the bathroom is so cash), it became apparent that my flatmate wasn’t lying and that the world had lost a great musician along the way. I promptly posted on Facebook the devastating news, only to be met with three people ‘liking’ it and no comments. Originally confused, I then remembered everyone I’m friends with on Facebook sucks and subsequently made a tribute playlist while I pondered what to do next. Writing a eulogy seemed like the logical step. Amy Winehouse was a 27-year-old musician who will most likely be remembered as the voice behind songs such as Rehab and Valerie, www.ausm.org.nz
an outstanding track with Mark Ronson. Her distinct soul/jazz sound was a breath of fresh air amongst all the brilliant rock albums coming out at the time (White Stripes, Radiohead, Muse, The Strokes etc). This album was called Frank which was recorded when she was 19 and was, according to Wikipedia, critically acclaimed in the UK. It was even nominated for a Mercury Prize, which is pretty cool. Featuring such songs as Stronger Than Me, Fuck Me Pumps and (There Is) No Greater Love, it was a stellar record from a promising young singer who was set to take the world by storm. Following the success of her first album and the collaborations with Mark Ronson, she released Back To Black in 2006. Now this was the album which skyrocketed her to fame. This is where that song everyone knows, Rehab, comes from. If there is anything you should do after reading this, it’s get that album. It’s pretty fucking awesome. After numerous singles and countless shows, she won multiple awards at the 2008 Grammys including “Record of the Year” and “Best Female Pop Vocal Performance”. She was recording her third album when her tragic death occurred. Details are still sketchy about exactly what happened on that fateful
morning of July 23, 2011. From what I’ve heard, it was a dodgy ecstasy pill, which is pretty fucking anticlimactic. This was a woman who snorted cocaine like it was crushed up Oompa Loompas and drank enough to put us all to shame. I don’t know if this says more about her or Britain’s shitty drug trade, but either way I’m not impressed. But mere hours after her death, fans were already paying tribute outside her London home and the displays have only grown over the past few days. Questions have been asked about the circumstances surrounding this latest, fatal bender and Winehouse is no stranger to controversy. She was the perfect villain for the music industry, performing her art well and fitting the tortured, drug addled artist perfectly. She’s the latest addition to the dreaded “Club 27”, a group of influential musical artists who all died at the age of 27. Amongst the company she’ll have are Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison who all met their end in suitably “rock star” ways. My theory is that when a musician reaches their 27th birthday, a small fairy of some sort offers them the chance to be immortal in the pages of history if they agree to die sometime during the year. Overall, I can’t help but feel that her departure was perfectly suitable to the lifestyle she lived. She will be remembered by her fans for her fusion of jazz, soul and kickass attitude in the modern age. My only fear is that her last album will be released posthumously, which always weirds me out. Especially if Akon features on one of your tracks. If you loved her, I feel your pain. If you didn’t, shame on you. If you haven’t heard her, do yourself a favour. One can only hope she doesn’t binge too much on the Saviour’s blood up in heaven.
21.
Horoscopes on crack (or rather, Apple, which is crack for design kids) by Brendan Kelly Hi, horoscopes, blah, blah, blah, iTunes, horoscopes, shuffley shuffley make up the bullshit starsign stuff.
“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves.” − William S. on being all wise and knowing about destiny and that “It is the stars, the stars above us, govern our conditions.” − W. Shakespeare on self contradiction
Aquarius: Big Bad Voodoo Daddy – Sleep Tight
You will dream that you are being tied to your bed by Barney the Dinosaur in revenge for having sex with his sister. You will wake up to, and breathe a huge sigh of relief that it was just a dream. You will then find you have been tied to your bed with cellophane. A gremlin did it because you fed him after midnight. Also gremlins are real.
Pisces: Velvet Revolver Headspace
Aliens will land, teach you to play cribbage really awesomely and then remove your brain. Nobody will notice the difference except you because you are really awesome at cribbage now.
Aries: The Streets – Everything is Borrowed
After being bitten by an aardvark you will spontaneously develop kleptomania. You will only feel compelled to steal jam jars. You will not be interested in the jam. Your friends will avoid you for having sticky hands.
Taurus: Sly and the Family Stone – Que Sera Sera
Your daughter or son, I don’t know which the song isn’t particularly specific but I think it was on a TV ad once and it was a daughter so maybe it’s that, will ask you what they’re gonna be when they grow up. You will spout gibberish and sing to cover the fact that you have just taken a massive hit of crack cocaine. Your children will think less of you and become account executives. Lay off the pipe.
Gemini: Jimi Hendrix - Manic Depression
You will be hit by a localised recession after investing in 17 cubic metres of pavlova. You are allergic to eggs and dairy. Your lucky words are ‘curdle’, ‘homeless’ and ‘fuckwit’.
Cancer: The Red Hot Chilli Peppers – Under the Bridge
You will lose your house after your spouse or parent or domestic animal invests in 17 cubic metres of pavlova. You will be forced to live under Mangere Bridge. Watch out for rock spiders and paedophiles too.
Blah, blah, blah, predictions are over, thank you come again, maybe more next week if I can be bothered. Chur
22.
Leo: System of a Down – Sugar
Someone will steal all your jam. You will gather your orchestra together to form a hunting party, but ultimately your search for jam will prove fruitless. You will fly into a rage and kill six ants, but immediately feel guilty and try to give them the kiss of life. You will then die of formic acid poisoning.
Virgo: Snow Patrol – Chasing Cars
You will be hugely popular for about six months and then everybody will fucking hate you because you are played on the radio too often. Hundreds of school children will play cover versions of you, crappy sentimental solo artists at local clubs will play you, and millions of hopeful males will learn to play you for their girlfriends. Absolutely nobody will get any joy out of it. Fuck you. Either that or you will revert to a primordial state and lurch after moving objects. However it turns out, you’re going to have a shit week.
Libra: Rage Against the Machine – Tire Me
You will carry your legless grandmother to Speedway. She will get blind drunk. While you are tending to her, a car will explode and you will be hit by a flaming tyre. You will be blinded and lose your legs. Your grandmother will laugh in your face. It will be exhausting.
Scorpio: The Strokes – Ask Me Anything
You will start a carnival claiming that you are a living magic 8 ball. It will turn out that you have just been eating fortune cookie messages washed down with old pavlova. And as the cookies say, ‘Be patient! The Great Wall didn’t got build in one day!’ In other news, a racial slur will get you into trouble.
Sagittarius: Ray Charles – Let’s Go Get Stoned
After inventing a time machine, you will travel back to Bible days (you know, ages ago). You will meet Moses and Balthazar and other people with cool names, but not Ruth because her name is just boring like a normal day person. You will have a sesh with Noah, who will tell you he is speaking with God. When you scoff at this prospect, he will kill you with a motherfucking boulder that his elephant was keeping for a rainy day. Noah is way more badass than you.
Capricorn: Simon and Garfunkel– Cloudy
You will become a weather man and/or woman. You will initially cause controversy by ending every report with Mel Gibson’s morale boosting speech from Braveheart, but your employees will grow fond of the idea when New Zealand conquers Australia. Freedom, bitches. issue 16 2011
“Do things external which happen to you distract you? Give yourself time to learn something new and good, and cease to be whirled around.” -Marcus Aurelius on why this article is for you!
“The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.” –William Blake on thought turtles
I have a strong respect for stories. Storytellers are the historians for everything that passes from human being to human being. Stories provide the framework for our lives. They tell us how to live, how to act and why the sky gods are hurling lightning bolts at our sheep. The strongest messages are conveyed through stories. Fables simplify the most difficult concepts, allowing even uneducated peasants (like you) to understand them. Like what Jesus did, parables and that. So in this, the second part of a trilogy of awesome fables, with morals and character development and kickass maneating rhinos and laser guns and cactuses and that, you can expect some pretty meaningful stuff to occur. There will be laughter, there will be tears. There will be extended metaphor. And some eels. Enjoy. Once upon a time there was an eel named Slippery Sam. Slippery Sam was the slipperiest of all the eels, which is why his friends gave him the name Slippery Sam (eels pride themselves on their nicknames). Sam was so slippery that no predator could ever get hold of him long enough to devour him, which was by the far the best of his two defence mechanisms, the other being that he was grey. His unmatched survival instincts, coupled with the fact he was both kind and generous, meant he rapidly rose to power, eventually becoming the undisputed Lord of the Eels. Sam was born for the job and ruled over his people with a just and fair hand (eels have hands), being all wise and telling mothers to cut their babies in half. And for a time all was well in the tiny underwater community. But Sam quickly grew restless. Where he was once young, squishy and just, he grew older, hardened and selfish. He wasn’t happy just being the chief of one little village. Sam believed he was destined for greater things. And so Sam set off to secure the entire eeldom for himself. Over the next few years, the Eel Lord started annexing smaller villages across the waters like a slippery Nazi, expanding his domain until it became what could only be described as an Eel Empire. Sam did not stop crusading until his dominion encompassed every soul beneath the waves. He ordered the newly dominated eel citizens to construct vast eel temples, where they would bow down and worship the Eel Lord. And the Eel Lord looked down across his empire, a limitless panorama of bustling cities, all pinned beneath his slimy eel thumb (eels have thumbs). He smiled his eel smile and was content. www.ausm.org.nz
But it did not last. Sam the Eel Lord again grew restless, like a sex starved Snooki on the hunt for male genitalia. He could think of nothing but greater glory. He became sullen, withdrawn. He stopped answering to the name Sam, and his bi-weekly visit to the old people’s home became a thing of the past. The eel’s time became devoted to attaining ever more power. And as the undisputed ruler of the waters, there was only one direction for him to go – up. He believed that to truly cement his name in the annals of eel history, dry land must be his, too. Planning began. An aquatic exodus took place, as eels from all across the empire amassed at the Eel Citadel to prepare for the great invasion. Male eels prepared for battle, sharpening spears and doing bicep curls (eels have biceps). Their women steadied their nerves, offering words of encouragement and praise, knowing their men may never return. The baby eels played on, unconcernedly tossing frisbees to each other, not realising that all around them history was being made. But all those gathered had one thing in common: the knowledge that their beloved ruler, their friend Slippery Sam, was leading them to victory. But the readying of the invasion force had taken 16 years. In this time the supercilious Eel Lord, who had once so innocently gone by the name Slippery Sam, had grown gnarled and temperamental. He spoke rarely, only to sneer and snarl at those he didn’t like, even children and his pet squid Quincy. He no longer cared about his people, striving only to preserve his name and reputation as the baddest mother under the sea. He, too, sharpened his spear in readiness for the great battle before him.
The day of the invasion arrived. The premier eel strategists had come to the conclusion that the only successful invasion method was for every single soldier to leap from the water simultaneously. And so the army waited, poised, ready for the charge. The invasion force seethed with tension, every single man on the edge of sanity. The whole of the empire teetered on the borders of history, their collective fates hanging in the balance. Dull light seeped through the water from above, glinting on thousands of spearheads. With a single, imperious nod, Sam signalled the attack. The eel army leapt onto dry land, began to suffocate, and died 89 seconds later. The deluxe edition moral of the story is this: hubris is bad, particularly if you are an eel. If you are an eel, kudos for learning to read. You can’t breathe above water though. You are just a stupid eel. If you aren’t an eel, I can’t see how this applies. Sorry for wasting your time. The short moral: animals are stupid. Especially eels. So there you are, my dear Cosmopolites! I hope you feel thoroughly enlightened by this, the penultimate edition of my modern day fables. Tune in next week for more sex, drugs and iguanas! Or not iguanas, I haven’t decided yet.
23.
by Danielle Whitburn
by Melissa Low
Everyday I’m Hustling
Homegrown Banana
Image: Race Relations Poster. (2007)
T
he world is made beautiful by many skills and learned arts. Arts are usually noble, subtly acquired things, like learning how to beat an opponent in a game of chess or possessing a set of killer pipes. You subtly brag of your talent, devising situations to put yourself in the spotlight for all to see. It might be a nice pair of legs you worked hard for at Les Mills, an incredible general knowledge, or an aptitude for putting together a beautiful outfit that is both kooky and classy. Nevertheless, arts are things acquired, admired and often hired to improve your confidence in front of that daily bathroom mirror. Until recently I had never regarded hustling as an art. It was always one of those awkward talents that bordered half on embarrassment, half on fun. Your friend might notice someone giving you the eye and hustle a drink through your looks, but you were always left with a taste of seediness in your mouth after the event. Hustling as a form of bargaining was like the guy you would never show to your parents, but would meet in some secret location away from prying eyes: you liked the feeling in the moment, but you didn’t like the consequences. Unclean, humiliating and with a crooked smile, hustling was a part of yourself you didn’t want to truly embrace. After reflecting on a few of life’s beauties, however, I realised there was more to hustling. Hustling was a way of life. It did not have to be associated with bad boy rappers and drug dealers, or with people whose desperation had got the better of them. Hustling, indeed, was the art of persuasion. After having heard the other day in one of those oh-so-informative classes that persuasion informed any kind of social agreement or relationship, I realised hustling too was an important part of any relationship (if you decided to take that theoretical line). Was hustling just persuasion’s dirtier younger cousin? If we persuaded somebody to do something, we were really proud and told all of our friends. But if we hustled something that was not ‘one of our finer moments’. Hustling had been stereotyped, and I felt bad for him. Being a charitable person, I decided to try and restore hustling’s good name. I applauded those that hustled free drinks or numbers. I began to admire those that could knock money off a dress new to the store that had no defects. I elevated people’s persistence in trying to hustle a good deal out of their next purchase. Consequently, I made a hustling breakthrough. I, the one who had always been embarrassed of trying to get things for free, hustled something of substantial value. I must say, I was rather proud. And why shouldn’t we be? Isn’t it in the nature of New Zealanders to go to Fair Go if they get a bad deal? To try and get the best value for their dollar? Hustling had not only lost its shame, but had acquired a kind of national pride, and I loved it. For those who still despise the hustler, I ask you: have you ever felt the feeling of elation in getting something for free? Did you like the feeling when, after a great bargain you made happen yourself, your wallet was still that bit heavier afterwards? For the unspoken truth is that if human relationships are persuasion, and persuasion equals hustling, then a big part of good socialising is indeed the humble hustle. Hustle friends, hustle contacts, hustle sex if you must. But hustle with your head held high.
24.
L
et me pose a question to you. What is better to follow – the traditions of your people or the traditions of the country? It’s fair to say that there will be a part of our heritage which is foreign to this country. Somewhere along the lines you’re bound to have a great, great, great grandparent that came to New Zealand on a boat, or plane, or some other sort of ocean crossing transportation. And with that ocean crossing transportation, they brought their own traditions to this land. Sometimes their cultural traditions contributed well to the country, but at times they can clash into one big controversial mess. No doubt when you think of the country’s current cultural controversial conflicts (say that five times) the whole burqa argument comes to mind. Let’s face it; the black full body covering can bring so much attention onto the individual, it would be as obvious as seeing Batman walking up Queen Street in broad daylight. It is understandable though to why some New Zealanders don’t like the idea of burqas. Traditionally, Kiwis (and western countries in general) are used to seeing someone’s face. We like seeing smiles and nice teeth and cool haircuts. But the concept of covering one’s face is associated with someone who goes and robs the local dairy, someone who is protecting themselves from swine flu, or is someone that will make you feel that they are stalkish and suspicious, all of which is intimidating. Banks have a reason why they don’t allow caps, hoodies and sunglasses to be worn inside the building; because they want to identify your face. But that’s the tradition in New Zealand. The reasoning behind wearing the burqa for some Islamic females is that they don’t become judged or tempt other men, which I think is a good reason. Imagine all the positives about wearing a burqa. For one, all women could suddenly have an even playing field and not be judged on whether they’re dressing like “sluts”. Make up and hair products wouldn’t take out such a large part of the living costs because you wouldn’t need foundation, conditioner, hair dye, or even concealer for pimple breakouts. Plus you’d probably never have to think about shaving your legs as often if no one other than you can tell how hairy they are becoming. But despite all the positive reasoning I can think about burqas, traditionally it’s not something people of our country would ever decide to do. It’s just not easy to radically change the ideas set by tradition and the society most of us have grown up in. And I guess that’s where I sit in terms of the question I gave you. While some may believe when we live in New Zealand we easily follow the ideals and traditions that we’ve accepted as we grew up here, we cannot expect immigrants to instantly conform to our ideals of society. We should ultimately be thankful of the free choice we have as a country, along with being granted the rights and equality between the genders. So honour those who follow their traditions, whether they wear a burqa or not. Because either way you look at it, they’re allowed free choice in this country too.
issue 16 2011
This Agony Aunt column is brought to you by the team at Health, Counselling and Wellbeing. If you have a question you would like answered email debate@aut.ac.nz and put Agony Aunt as the subject or drop it in to the Health, Counselling and Wellbeing office.
Dear Agony Aunt
How do I get a Chlamydia test? Where do I go and will it hurt? From Scared
Dear Scared
Relax. Having a Chlamydia test does not hurt. Chlamydia is a sexually transmitted infection and is spread through unprotected sex (sex without a condom). It’s very common and as many as one in 10 16-25 year olds have it. If you’ve ever had unprotected sex then it’s a very good idea to get checked. Most infected people will feel fine and have no symptoms, a few might experience some discharge, burning when peeing or pain during sex. If left untreated it can cause pain and infertility for both boys and girls. The test is quick and simple and if you’re under 25 years old it’s free. If you test positive treatment is quick and easy. So why not? You can get tested at Health Counselling and Wellbeing, Family Planning, Auckland sexual health clinics or, if you prefer, your own family doctor. For more information on sexually transmitted infections go to : www.familyplanning.org.nz www.sexfiles.co.nz www.sexualhealth.co.nz
Dear Agony Aunt
I am a student in my first year of a nursing degree. I have been told that I need to get some vaccinations before I will be allowed to go on placement next year. I am worried about this as I hate needles and when I was a kid I can remember passing out getting my vaccinations at school. Do I have to do this? Is there no way I can get out of it. From Afraid
Dear Afraid
No one enjoys having an injection so you are not alone in that department. Lots of people are afraid of injections. Unfortunately it is very necessary that you are fully immunised before you go out on placement in order to protect your patients, who will often be vulnerable to infection and also yourself from some very nasty and sometimes life threatening diseases. It might be a good idea to talk to one of the nurses in Health Counselling and Wellbeing first before you book to have the vaccination. You could also bring a friend along for some moral support. If you let the nurse know you are afraid and that you might faint they will be understanding and make sure you are safe. As you go through your training you will learn from your own experiences how frightening some situations can be for some people. Remember at some point in the future you are also going to be asking patients to agree to things that they are afraid of and don’t want to do. Be brave, put your trust in the people who are caring for you and you will be just fine. If you decide not to have the vaccinations, talk to your programme leader as this will impact on your choice of clinical placements.
“Man is born free, yet everywhere he is found in chains”.
by Vinny Francesco
www.ausm.org.nz
One of these chains Rausseau speaks of is culture. Culture can be defined as the actions, activities, arts, laws, folkways, mores, traditions, superstitions, paraphernalia etc of a particular group of people. That’s your typical academic textbook definition – wide and vague. We’ve got a few challengers though. Culture may be defined as the art of living, the inertia of societal existence, an overarching immersion of being actively involved in a specific place and time, or the means by which the human spirit and inclination is manifested. How about we explore the common cultural activity of lawn mowing, as it does well to illustrate the character of culture. This activity is essentially purposeless. Once a practical activity used for composting and hay-making, modern lawn mowing is now a twisted and purposeless remnant of its functional ancestor. The only possible reason for modern lawn mowing I can think of is aesthetics. Perhaps people think if their lawn is not neat and tidy, this must reflect some kind of imperfection or laziness in their attitude. What this shows is that culture has a flavour of nonsense. A classic example of this is the idea of “need”. If we take a logical perspective, we find there isn’t anything which is truly needed, in the sense that it is mandatory and must be done. For example, many people say “I need to eat”. Why do you need to eat? “Oh, I need to eat so
that I can live”. Okay, so that you can live... do you need to live? “Oh yes, definitely, gotta live”. Of course this brings us to a more existential question, “Why must you live?”. Well the plain and simple answer to this, is because you want to. And so we find that anything we need is always needed in relation to something we want. In fact, I would go as far as to say that need is a form of strong desire in disguise. Culture tries to convince us that ideas like this are a matter-offact. If let your ego take a back seat for a moment you can see that necessity is an idea of life and not a fact of life. During my studies I have learnt many theories of culture. By far the most fascinating is the theory of culture as your operating system by Terrence McKenna. This theory uses a computer as an analogy for culture. On any computer there is hardware and software. Similarly humanity has hardware and software, commonly referred to as objective and subjective. The hardware is the raw material requires for operation, the software is the data. For example a graphics card (hardware) is capable of running various different types of video games (software). Similarly people have a tongue, and using that tongue they can develop an array of different recipes based on their sense of taste. What this shows is that culture is very changeable and malleable; it’s not as fixed as say, gender. Just like a computer, our culture can be re-formatted.
25.
horoscopes VOLUME 15 ARIES (March 21-April 19)
Now Cooking Real Food
As students we spend the majority of our money on alcohol and textbooks, and spend our dinnertimes eating two minute noodles or cup a soups. But the weather is steadily becoming more and more brutal. This means watery soup and cold bread after long, cold days at uni just aren’t that appealing anymore. Divvy up cooking duties and cook up some REAL food. Toss around words like ‘lasagne’ and ‘apple crumble’ and it shouldn’t be too hard to get motivated.
Now Laughing
Harry Potter Re-enacted by Cats
If you haven’t seen the final Harry Potter yet because you’ve been meaning to catch up on what’s happened so far, forget about wasting hours on re-reading books and re-watching movies. YouTube ‘Harry Potter’ ‘cats’ and ‘one minute’. Yes, that’s right. The amazing genius of YouTube cat videos and Harry Potter re-enactments have come together in one beautiful meeting of the minds, now known to millions around the world as ‘All of Harry Potter Re-Enacted by cats in one minute’. That’s bloody brilliant, Harry!
Now Eating Pies
The humble pie’s reputation has taken a pretty hard hit over the past few years. With the government cracking down on healthy eating and obesity issues, one of the most criticised food products has been the pie. Apparently they’re hugely fatty and really terrible for you. Whatevs. But the fact remains that they’re pretty fucking delicious. They’re warm, they’re meaty and they’re comforting. And even though this year’s annual award for the best pie in New Zealand went to a fruit pie (the traitors) in Kihikihi, you only have to wander to your nearest dairy/café/supermarket to get your hands on a mean mince ‘n’ cheese.
Now Watching
The Walking Dead, Wednesdays at 9.30pm, TV2
After an epic premiere last week, The Walking Dead looks set to be the show to watch this winter. While it’s centred around zombies it’s definitely not just another jumpingon-the-Twilight-induced-supernatural-fad bandwagon kind of show. The story actually focuses on the human survivors of a huge apocalypse who are doing their best to remain un-bitten and undead. And the zombies – well they’re exactly that: half dead, half mutilated slow moving monsters. It’s not for the faint-hearted, it’s just as famous for its brilliantly written script and fantastic acting as it is for its hideously gross scenes. So get your gore on and tune in to TV2, Wednesdays at 9.30pm. If you think you’re on the pulse with what’s happening in Auckland, email debate@aut.ac.nz with your own Suggestions.
Internet dating is so 2010. Randomly typing people’s names into Google until you get a winner is where it’s at. Always cross references with Google Images.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
Set your alarm to wake you up 10 minutes earlier this Thursday. The stars see someone in your house using up all the hot water. Make sure it’s you.
GEMINI (May 21-June 21)
The stars see your evil side playing up again. Your target: unsuspecting Saggi’s. Your weapon of choice: a heavily shaken can of Coke.
CANCER (June 22-July 22)
You’re going to get the sudden desire to invest in a pet this week. Start with something small like a pet rock or a fish. You’re really not that responsible.
LEO (July 23-August 22)
The new semester’s list of required textbooks has seen your savings take a significant hit. This means no more name-brand groceries till Christmas.
VIRGO (August 23-September 22)
You decide to throw a good old fashioned house party this week to celebrate your parents being out of town. You will post the photos on Facebook. Your parents will find out.
LIBRA (September 23-October 23)
The stars have taken a break from looking out for you this week, so take extra care when crossing the street, particularly in Howick and/or Parnell.
SCORPIO (October 24-November 21)
Make an effort to check your shoelaces at regular intervals. And scan surrounding areas for banana skins etc. The stars see an embarrassing fall in your future. They also see lots of people laughing.
SAGITTARIUS (November22-Dec21)
Carry a spare change of clothes around with you this week.
CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19) This week you will discover that astrology uses mythical animals, like unicorns and woolly mammoths, to determine your future, not planets. Your mind will not be blown.
AQUARIUS (January 20-Febuary 18)
You will write an angry letter to debate after a rude encounter with a student on Monday at 4.08pm. You will win a prize.
PISCES (Febuary 19-March 20)
Make an effort to check your shoelaces at regular intervals. And scan surrounding areas for banana skins etc. The stars see an embarrassing fall in your future. They also see lots of people laughing.
26.
issue 16 2011
‘Classic Korea’
Vicky Zhang (21) Degree: Business What You’re Wearing: Tan woolen blazer, light brown cardigan, white shirt and ripped skinny jeans – all from Korea. Shoes – Converse All Stars. Bag – Louis Vuitton. Latest Purchase: Gold chain necklace – again, Korea. What’s one fashion trend that you’d love NEVER to see again? That bird’s nest high hair bun thing!
‘Wicked Westie’
chelsea Paki (19) Degree: Business What You’re Wearing: Coat – Glassons Jeans - Levis Shoes – Number 1 Shoe Warehouse Bag – Cool Asian store in Henderson Latest Purchase: Jeans – Levis What’s one fashion trend that you’d love NEVER to see again? MC Hammer pants.
There is no denying we all watch them. It doesn’t matter whether we’re in a lecture (stealing someone’s internet balance) or trying not to think about that up-and-coming assignment deadline, there’s something about cute YouTube videos that tug at our heartstrings and keep us clicking. Here are my top 10 that everyone should check out: by Courtney Jarrett 10. Sleepy Baby Bunny Number of Views: 2,527,953 There’s no way that this video couldn’t be cute. I would, however, have preferred if the baby bunny was sleep-moving a little more. For most of the video the owner is moving the bunny – I kind of thought it was dead to begin with. That wouldn’t be cute.
9. I Are Cute Kitten Number of Views: 32,851,710 When it comes to YouTube, cats videos rule. The subtitles in this video make it worth the watch it probably wouldn’t have made it into the countdown without them. It does, however, have that “argh, I want one!” effect.
www.ausm.org.nz
‘Japan Chic’
Jae Akiyama Degree: Hospitality What You’re Wearing: Jacket, denim skirt, boots and scarf – all from Japan. Bag – Coach (lucky girl!) Latest Purchase: Necklace – again, Japan. What’s one fashion trend that you’d love NEVER to see again? Crocs!
6. The Sneezing Baby Panda Number of Views: 109,252,665 For a 17 second clip, it must be impressive to have more than 100 million views. The baby panda sneezing comes right at the end, with the reaction of Momma Panda being well worth the wait.
8. Hedgehog Swimming Number of Views: 3,617,102 Who knew that hedgehogs took baths? I sure as hell didn’t. I also didn’t realise people keep them as domesticated pets (but then again, I saw a crocodile next to a monkey in a pet store in Japan). Hedgehog swimming is a relatively lengthy video, you might not feel the need to watch all of it, but definitely stay tuned until he starts rolling over. Nawww.
5. Baby Sloth Yawning Number of Views: 827,550 Now I have to admit, if I had complete creative control over this list, baby sloth yawning would by far be at number one. Alas, many do not agree with my sloth-cuteness views, so baby sloth misses out on the top spot. See also: cute baby sloth, sloth swimming and sloth crossing the road.
7. I’m Yours Ukulele Number of Views: 45,349,148 Our budding maestro plays a ukulele (definitely in proportion to his size) and belts out a rendition of James Mraz’s I’m Yours. Not only is his attempt cute, but his facials make it well worth the watch. Who doesn’t like a kid trying to sing?
4. Baby Monkey (Going Backwards on a Pig) Number of Views: 8,800,195 Baby monkey + baby pig + catchy theme song about baby monkey and baby pig = ultimate video. Not only are two of the cutest baby animals involved, one is riding the other one! In a cute, non-perverted, non-interbreeding kind of way.
3. They see me rollin’ (original) Number of Views: 3,202,175 Not just a tortoise, not just a kitten, but a kitten RIDING a tortoise to gangsta music! This kitten is so badass, all it needs is backwards hat and I’d be worried about it popping a cap in my ass. 2. Mother Cat Hugging Kitten Number of Views: 31,402,656 Special mention to Catherine Selfe for giving me a heads up on this one. I throw up in my mouth a little every time I watch it. This video could very possibly be the reason why there is a Facebook group ‘crying because you love cats so much”.
1.High Five for First Kiss (Original)
Number of Views: 15,196,058 Perhaps the only time in YouTube history that human beings trump animals in the cute factor, this video may in fact be the reason why people have babies. Words cannot describe this video, you just have to watch it for yourself.
27.
I
by Andrea Manahan
What the world needs is more nipples
While Paris Vogue can show a bit of nip, debate magazine can’t. Ironic?
28.
was flicking through an old copy of Paris Vogue (January 2010), which I had acquired during one of my previous trips overseas and I began reminiscing about my days of travel and five star hotels. This first year fashion student, once upon a time, was a flight attendant for Emirates in Dubai. The pages of Vogue reminded of one of my favourite cities in the world – Paris. The city of love. Love of fashion. Love of wine. And apparently, love of nipples. Turning its pages slowly, allowing myself to be re-filled by the genius which is Paris Vogue, I was jolted out of my fashion stupor by the sight of Daria Werbowry’s brown nipple peeping out from a crisp white shirt; the top few buttons lazily forgotten to be done up, carelessly exposing her breast. There was nonchalant expression on her face saying, ‘Oh, this old thing?’ as she let a cigarette dangle precariously from her fingers in the shot. I blinked a couple of times. I looked at it closely. Yes, that was her nipple. And yes, that was a cigarette. Oh my. Perhaps my media-saturated eyes have been conditioned to the overly politically correct filter of New Zealand, where the glamorisation of smoking cigarettes is highly frowned upon, and the showing of nipples is in poor taste and is reserved for pornographic material. Even our leading men’s lifestyle magazines, though have plenty of scantily clad women in g-strings, high heels and the occasional whip, have the illicit nipple tucked out of sight. The French censorship committees have obviously ruled in favour of the nipple and the cigarette. I applaud them for the former, however I can’t help but admit that though, I whole-heartedly support anti-smoking campaigns and its slogans, Paris is the one place in the world where I would argue that smoking IS sexy. A few pages after the Daria indiscretion, I was propositioned by another nipple, this time by a svelte and completely nude model, as the Health and Beauty section started in the magazine. She was positioned strategically on a profile, the body oil she was slathered with accentuating every curve (yes, though long and lean, this model had curves) every muscle, everything there was to be a healthy, confident woman. Nipple and all. This isn’t the first time I have been accosted by the French nipple. In the December issue, I received as a cadeaux (gift) a 12-month 2010 calendar which featured Natasha Poly, Iselin Steiro and Raquel Zimmermann. These models had the privilege of exciting you for the whole year wearing nothing but metalliccoloured panties and posing with various light fixtures for the whole 12 months. Now you and I know that there is very little that one can hide behind a three foot halogen light bulb. I believe it was only in August 2010 where nipples were not displayed, because Natasha would be covering her areolas with tassels for the month. Initially thinking that maybe this ‘gift’ would have been better appreciated if it were attached to a copy of the December GQ
magazine or FHM, I wondered why these 22 nipples would be thought of as appropriate for the female readership which ardently follows Vogue. And what about Daria? And the naked bronzed goddess? Their nipples couldn’t possibly have been accidental. Yet, as I flicked through the calendar slowly, I, for the first time, noticed how incredible sexy these women were. Yes they were tall, yes they were thin, but they also had very small breasts. A-Cup. Maybe even AA. But they were still beautifully sexy. The perfectly natural roundness of their breasts was beautiful, especially when they smoothed so delicately back in to the body. No artificial lines or bumps stood between the breast and their skin, just one beautiful piece of velvet perfection. Their skin seemed so slide gracefully from their décolletage down to their breast, which turned up slightly at the nipple, which only small and natural breasts can do. For the first time, I saw small breasts as sexual, as feminine. And it took a nipple for me to understand this. Being Asian and of a very small frame, I have lamented for years my lack of cleavage. Push-up bras, water bras, tape, chicken fillets (silicon breast cups, which you stick onto your boobs) – I have tried it all. I thought that with bigger breasts, I could feel more sexual and more feminine. I am not ashamed to admit that at the time, when I was earning a decent salary and had access to cheap flights and a variety of international hospitals that could do the procedure for a fraction of what it would cost in New Zealand, I considered breast augmentation. Regardless of the possible risks of rejection, inability to breastfeed and loss of sensation in the nipple, I once thought it was all worth it in order to feel more womanly. However, after being exposed to the nipple from Paris Vogue several times, my understanding of what it is to be sexy seems to have been redefined. Small breasts are sexy. Why did I not see this before? Because nipples were nowhere to be seen. All I saw of small breasts in fashion stories previously was the lack of definition in a bikini top, the lack of curvaceousness in a corset, the lack of fullness in a backless evening dress, or an overall androgyny which comes with a flat chest. If I saw the nipple, it was only in porn, or highly distasteful material, making me think it wasn’t sexy, but vulgar, and something to be ashamed of and covered. I never imagine that a small breast exposed with the nipple could be so sensual, so delicate, so womanly. Paris Vogue exposing the nipple takes back its femininity and appropriateness which was taken away by porn. It also crowns small breasts as sexy. By removing the nipple from its former pornographic friends of cock and vagina, and introducing it to better company of Louis, Ralph and John, Paris Vogue has rid the exposed nipple of vulgarity and inappropriateness. It has given back its femininity, sensuality and more importantly, the nipple crowns small breasts with sexuality by saying, ‘No, you don’t need them to be any bigger. They are perfect’.
issue 16 2011
Captain America: The First Avenger Directed by Joe Johnston
Film Review by Samantha McQueen
(B)
A hero with the name “Captain America” in the midst of World War II promises USA patriotism and some kick ass action. Captain America: The First Avenger definitely achieves the cheesy sentiments, but the lack of explosions and punch ups leaves audiences wanting more. Before we even meet our hero, we’re plunged into sub-zero temperatures in the present day Arctic, where a shield is found frozen in the ice. Before anything is answered, the film shoots to 1942 Norway, where Nazi Johann Schmidt (Hugo Weaving) acquires the power source needed to break away from Hitler’s command and create his own army, called Hydra (complete with two-handed “Heil Hydra” salute). Then it’s America’s turn in the spotlight. When we finally lay eyes on Steve Rogers (a skinny, not CGI, Chris Evans), it’s as a 98 pound weakling, whose list of medical problems is preventing him from getting the 1A stamp he needs to serve in the army. Luckily, at a convention held by Howard Stark (yes, that last name should ring a bell), he runs into Dr Erskine (Stanley Tucci) who gives him a chance in a special boot camp, where they are looking for qualities beyond sheer strength. A few tests passed and several painful injections later sees Steve morph into a god-like hero, with super agility, strength and a kick ass shield. It’s just in time too; Schmidt has revealed his true colours (they are ugly and red) and like every villain, he and his Hydra army are set on taking over the world. Fans of Marvel will know that Captain America is the last hero to appear onscreen before the all-star Avengers movie, which hits screens next May. This has the best lead in to the upcoming flick, including the obligatory appearance by Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson), but the Capt definitely isn’t winning any awards for best avenger. He lacks the wit that makes Iron Man so popular and Thor takes to new surroundings with more humour than the straight-laced Steve. Screenwriters Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely have put more effort into making the qualities of skinny Steve shine
www.ausm.org.nz
through, rather than playing with the end product. As a result, it’s more than an hour before he’s rescuing soldiers and fending off teams of Hydra operatives. And before we get a glimpse of the hero’s true powers, we have to endure flashy American propaganda, complete with star-spangled clad girls doing high kicks. But it’s not all bad. The always wonderful Stanley Tucci gets to try out a German accent for the first time and Tommy Lee Jones’ portrayal of the deadpan Colonel Phillips is effortless. British actress Hayley Atwell brings much needed sass to the screen as the only female lead, and although the romantic undertones between her and Steve feel forced, it’s thankfully only fleeting. Despite numerous opportunities missed for Captain America to get his hands dirty and save the day, the ending scenes will leave audiences counting down the days until they see Steve again, buffed up and in the 21st century, in The Avengers. Make sure you stay until after the credits.
The Airbourne Toxic Event All At Once
Album Review by Matthew Cattin
(B)
uninspired. It seems they are playing in their comfort zone but once they leave it, I imagine they will make some epic music. One cool thing about the album is the string arrangements, something I have forever been a fan of. Guitar and vocals are cool. But guitar and vocals backed by a cello quartet is excellent. All I Ever Wanted has a rad cello and bass guitar combo that is straight up badass. It’s moments like this where the band shine and become more than just mediocre. Another thing they do well is stripped back acoustic ballads. The final track The Kids Are Ready To Die is sung with so much conviction that you can’t help but love it, despite the fact the lyrics are a bit ridiculous. Sometimes I find a band has everything you could want in a band but they still don’t make anything above average. The Airbourne Toxic Event is one of those bands. I think it comes down plain and simple to a talented bunch of people simply not pushing the boundaries. The music they are putting out has a lot of heart but not a lot of head. Yes they can write a decent song but it sounds like lazy song writing, using all the build ups, chord changes and formulas that so many bands have done before them. Once they break the mould of that, they’ll be brilliant.
Emalkay Eclipse
Album Review by Conor Beggs
I spontaneously purchased The Airbourne Toxic Event’s debut from Real Groovy after a poster on the wall informed me they were similar to Arcade Fire. It wasn’t… But it was quite a decent album. A bit punky for my liking but they definitely had the elements and potential of a solid band with catchy tunes, clever riffs, string arrangements and interesting vocals. All At Once is like a guilty pleasure from the 80s. You like it because it’s catchy, quick to learn and sing along to and simple. The problem is the music is so darn catchy that you find yourself predicting every twist and turn. The songs all take such a logical, obvious progression that it sounds like a high school band with a big recording budget. What sets a great song apart from a mediocre song is its ability to surprise you with something you haven’t heard before. The Airbourne Toxic Event, although catchy, is quite obvious and
(B+)
WARNING: if you are one of those people who hates dubstep, just do what I always do when I see a review of an alty/indie album and don’t read it. That was the preface/warning I was going to include before I saw the review for the Ministry of Sound: the sound of dubstep album in issue 14. I, for one, am glad dubstep cherry of debate has been popped. Emalkay is a dubstep producer from Birmingham in the UK. His debut album Eclipse has had high expectations as it comes from DUB POLICE records, a thoroughbred among dubstep labels. After all, it was created by one of the creators himself, Caspa. Similar to Magnetic Man’s self-titled album, this one is more for the dubstep purist with zero
29.
Skrillex style drops. Put it this way. If dubstep were a tree it would be maybe 10 feet tall (still growing obviously). Caspa, Benga and Skream would be the trunk, keeping the foundations solid. Producers like Skrillex, Flux Pavilion and Rusko would be the leaves that have blown off and fallen far away but are still related, just pollinating another area. And then there is Emalkay, an apple, “dropping” on the heads of anyone that sits under the dubstep tree. This tree won’t stop growing for a while yet, because it’s always sunny on the dubstep side of life. Although a more traditional dubstep record there are still tracks that make the clubdubstepper rejoice. Fabrication and When I Look At You, the latter having just under eight million views on YouTube, being the culprits. If you don’t know dubstep you should listen to these tracks first. Both songs mix catchy loops and eerie intros with bass lines that will really make you appreciate a good sound system. iPod headphones will not cut it here lads and ladies! There is an evident dark tone to this album that cannot be ignored. It drives every song and for me is a little too much by the end of it. This is the album’s main shortcoming for me. Emalkay could learn something from his label buddy Rusko and inject a bit of happiness into his music. But, this defies the underground style Emalkay represents and I’m sure he’d toss many-a-vinyl at my face for saying such a thing. We wouldn’t listen to dubstep if we cared so much about what other people thought because I know numerous people who think the genre is just farts mixed with a drum beat. I recently saw Emalkay DJ at Deep, Hard and Funky a couple of weeks back. I expected the usual dubstep gig material, but I was more interested in how tracks from Eclipse would go down. And I have to say I was impressed. True Romance in particular was played in its entirety and was very, very enjoyable. Eclipse is a solid effort by a producer who has been in the game for a long time. The common dubstep listener might find it a touch boring. And I must admit I am not a fan of the original dubstep that Caspa, Benga and Skream invented in the early 2000s. Eclipse, however, let’s enough light in from the drum and bass, breakbeat and modern dubstep scenes to entertain me. And having seen Emalkay live and hearing his songs how they are meant to be heard (loud) I have a new appreciation for this album. Pushing its mark from a B to a B+.
30.
Frank Sinatra Best of Vegas
Film Review by Matthew Cattin
(A-)
Frank Sinatra is one helluva smooth gentleman and has always been a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine. Kicking back on the couch with a drink in your hand and Frank in your ears is still as suave as it was 70 years ago. Best of Vegas is a collection of songs recorded during his shows in Vegas casinos between 1961 and 1987. Although it is a live album, the performances are so professional and tight that it sounds straight off the record. It’s odd listening to a live album with such a well behaved crowd. When he addresses the audience, they sit in complete silence, clapping politely when he begins a crowd pleaser. There are no wolf whistles or cat calls to speak of and you never really know if the crowd are digging it. One thing the live album does give you though is a sense of his wit and charm. He’s absolutely at home on stage and when he talks to the audience, you are waiting on every word. I swear he could talk the pants off of just about anybody; a talent I’m sure he took full advantage of. “Good morning ya’buncha drunks. I’m probably the only sober bum in the group. But it won’t be for long…” he says before entering into five or so minutes of comedic banter. I didn’t realise how legit funny the guy was but then I got thinking since he played Vegas nearly every night of the week for several years, it might not have been a completely spontaneous effort. The music is typical of the man – smooth, classy and professional. His voice reminds me of cigars and tuxedos and you can just tell he was inundated with women when in his prime. He breezes into the first track Moonlight in Vermont in a flurry of shimmering strings and a woozy double bass. As a fellow male, I can’t help but feel a touch of jealousy over his chocolaty smooth vocals. He just floats through the songs effortlessly, even though he was approaching 50 at the time of the shows. The only thing that grinds my gears about
the album is the skipping between tracks. Since the album is a compilation of live performances rather than a concert, the applause cuts out when a track finishes rather than fading out, or even better, fading into the next track. To me this is plain old laziness from the record producers and I think Sinatra deserves a little better. This small blunder aside, the rest of the album plays flawlessly and is a lot of fun but is probably more suited for Sinatra fans.
The Horrors Skying
Album Review by Ksenia Khor
(A)
In 2009 the Horrors showed they were not just another indie band from an art school with fashionable gothic clothes by releasing their second record, Primary Colours. It was named the album of the year and is now considered a modern classic. Certainly, this boosted their career and drew lots of attention to the band. Their latest record, Skying proved this success didn’t distract them from the most important thing – music. The Horrors are probably one of the most creative and ambitious young bands of this decade. Determined to do only the music they truly like, they produced Skying themselves in order to not to be bound by any contracts with labels. They even built their own studio to work at the hours they prefer, usually at night. Skying shows the band’s continuous exploration of new sounds. You won’t find many similarities to Strange House (their debut album) or Primary Colours apart from the psychedelic visions that are the band’s trademark. Music junkies can probably find tons of various influences, from 80s bands to The Strokes, in each of 10 songs, but I believe that is a waste of time. The Horrors created a diverse record that unites their distinctive style with echoes from the past and even future. It is subtle and after a few listenings Skying shows off its layers and dimensions. The name of the album makes it obvious that The Horrors were inspired by the depths of the ocean and sky; they are often reflected in the lyrics and exquisite tunes. Endless Blue opens up with a melodic intro and then its peacefulness
issue 16 2011
is suddenly broken by the guitar riffs. Actually, melodic and peaceful are the words that can perfectly describe Skying. The first single from the album, Still Life, is a dreamy song with romantic lyrics cooed by frontman’s Faris Badwan husky voice and delightful synthesizers. It is a euphoric statement and also the essence of the whole record. If you compare this song to any from the raucous Strange House, you might think you are listening to two completely different bands. The final composition, Oceans Burning is the longest track from the album. Faris’s haunting voice seems to be vanishing among the sounds of acoustic guitars and glockenspiels. Then this slow and sophisticated blend is substituted with an instrumental passage heavily relied on exhilarating drums. This song puts the whole album beyond the skies and leads to some mysterious cosmic realms. The complexity of the sound is totally hypnotizing and can’t be grasped from one take. Skying showed The Horrors’ music prowess and an ability to create a marvellous, out of this world atmosphere with their work. The record also proved that these Brits have a lot to say. I can’t wait to hear what’s coming next.
Yuck Yuck
Album Review by Ksenia Khor
(B+)
Yuck is a debut album from a London-based band under the same name. Indie rock adepts will probably be happy to hear Daniel Blumberg’s voice again. He was responsible for the vocals and guitar in a promising band Cajun Dance Party that split a few years ago. Actually, another CDP member, Max Bloom, is also playing in Yuck. These guys brought romance and naivety that sometimes seemed overly sugary on CDP’s only album, The Colourful Life. However, it is really hard to blame them for that because when Blumberg and Bloom founded CDP they were just 15 years old and still at school. Although maturity doesn’t shine through Yuck’s latest record either, it’s youthfulness and thrill makes the listening totally irresistible. The record is heavily influenced by the grungy 90s, but it sounds much more melodic. Surely,
www.ausm.org.nz
it is nothing like Cajun Dance Party. Maybe the youth of the band members also helps the music to sound lighter but without any nostalgia. Throughout the whole record the band plays with different moods and paces, and this is what makes it quite diverse. Its charming tunefulness shows that though despite the age, Yuck have some skills and experience to build great harmonies. An energetic opener Get Away explodes with fierce guitar riffs. You almost can’t believe this voice belongs to the same guy who sang for Cajun Dance Party. Now, there is so much emotion and intensity in his voice. It’s an exciting song reminiscent of the garage rock bands, with emotional yearnings perfectly matching with the musical swings. Sunday, a wistful and tuneful composition about the time after a break-up, is totally contrasting to Get Away. Acoustic guitar strumming creates a charming melody. Blumberg is singing tenderly: “I’ve got a choice now, I’ve got a voice now”, indicating that he overcame the pain and it’s time to move on. Rubber – the closer – might be a glimpse of the direction where the band will head later. It’s dreamy and rocky at the same time. It’s a slow and powerful, even a bit psychedelic, composition that is the heaviest from the record. Vocals almost vanish among the invigorating sounds of guitars and drums. Rubber is a seven-minute long instrumental that you want to listen over and over again. All in all, it feels like the band is still looking for their own voice through experimenting with the sounds of the past. The record might seem a little bit boring, the lyrics might appear a little bit too naïve and the sounds might remind of something painfully familiar. Nevertheless, it’s a solid debut showing off the skill and the artists’ creative abilities and potential. In the future, I believe, Yuck is definitely a band to watch out for.
Othello
Live at the Maidment Theatre, July 23 to August 11 Directed by Jesse Peach Theatre Review by Danielle Whitburn
(B+)
A darkened stage. A shout. A love embrace. It was all very Shakespearean and it was all very Maidment Theatre. After watching the embrace and wondering what it was like to dance with your face under your lover’s t-shirt, I was serenaded with a cacophony
of interpretative dance, raucous voices and imitated drunkenness. It was a nice introduction to a piece which, to my shame, I was simultaneously watching and adding to my literary education. It was also a show appreciated by the audience, who smelt of cologne and alcohol and consisted of many a face off Shortland Street. For those that do not know the story, it is typically Shakespearean: starts with a tale of passionately forbidden love, ends with a death of the beloved that is a sorely regretted crime of passion. Somewhere in the middle there is a meddling swine that twists everything around, accompanied by many a party to get the festive juices flowing. It is a classical drama of ‘thees’ and ‘thous’, elaborately intensified through classical postures and trained artistic skill. I must say, as an amateur Shakespearean follower, I did rather admire the way the cast brought the play into the present time and humour. Still true to form and word, they acted remarkably, but were not averse to a few drinking and cheating jokes. Not knowing the story, most happenings in the play were picked up at the start by cues of intonation and body language, upon which one could build the scene with the beauty of old-world language like an artistic trifle cake. It was all very fluid, duly dramatic and only a little over the top, but in the most apt and predictable fashion for a play of such an era. Robbie Magasiva was remarkable as Othello, whose anger was gradually built up to the point of bursting shockingly and consistently throughout the story. Otherwise, none were under par but of particular mention was Olivia Tennet (Amelia), whose supporting act showcased her ability to sing, play the violin, dance beautifully and act modest all at the same time. All the characters, it seemed, were truly developed by the last quarter; nevertheless, the whole bunch of them were quite beautiful gym bunnies who contributed in some way to the tale. Packed to the rafters with much laughter, Maidment’s Othello was certainly a sturdy effort. I would find it hard to pick holes in the performance, and certain scenes were truly delightful. All in all, a rainy night at the Maidment appeared to rain on a few faces within the theatre, too, a sure indicator of success.
31.
Chips - $3.50 Wedges - $4.50 Kumara chips - $4.50 Hot Dogs - $2.00
Fish & chips - $5.50 Hot dog & chips - $5.00 Chicken & chips - $6.80 Onion rings & chips - $4.50
Sausage & chips - $3.50
32.
www.vesbar.co.nz
issue 16 2011
the t o p S nce e r e f Dif
Correctly identify the five differences in the two photos then circle them and drop your entry into your nearest AuSM office, or the box on the side of the red debate stands, or post to debate PO Box 6116 Wellesley St before 12pm Thursday. What’s up for grabs? Two “squawk burgers” vouchers for Velvet Burger on Fort St, Auckland CBD! Congratulations to our issue 15 winner, Rahul Naidu, City Campus.
www.ausm.org.nz
33.
Amy Lole Taylor Bachelor of Arts
What’s one thing you love about your culture? The performing arts side. Like the music and dancing Have you seen any films at Film Festival this month? No. Probably because I just haven’t been aware of what’s been going on How do you stay warm in winter? Fireplace at home plus warm clothes and lots of coffee If you could escape winter, where would you go? Samoa What reality show would you never watch? Geordie Shore. I think it explains itself. No mental stimulation
Jack Dang
Bachelor of Computer Science
What’s one thing you love about your culture? The food. I’m Vietnamese Have you seen any films at Film Festival this month? No How do you stay warm in winter? Clothes If you could escape winter, where would you go? Hawaii What reality show would you never watch? Jackass. It looked stupid
Nancy Vaiaku
Bachelor of Arts
What’s one thing you love about your culture? Food. Gotta be the food Have you seen any films at Film Festival this month? No, I didn’t even know about them How do you stay warm in winter? Layers of clothes If you could escape winter, where would you go? Venice. And Italy in general. Because of the Italian food and, from what I’ve seen in the movies, it looks like a really summery place What reality show would you never watch? Ice loves Coco. That just looks annoying
Daniel Robertson
Certificate in Communication Studies
What’s one thing you love about your culture? The haka. I’m Maori-Scottish Have you seen any films at Film Festival this month? No – didn’t really know about them How do you stay warm in winter? My jacket! From Hallensteins If you could escape winter, where would you go? Rio in Brazil What reality show would you never watch? Geordie Shore. Haven’t heard anything good about it
Watchout for debate around campus - you could be the next micro-celeb!
34.
Khushal Sabania
Bachelor of Business
What’s one thing you love about your culture? The food. All the way Have you seen any films at Film Festival this month? No. What is Film Festival…? How do you stay warm in winter? Layers. And being DTS (down to snuggle) If you could escape winter, where would you go? To Samoa because it’s so hot What reality show would you never watch? The Osbournes. They’re full of shit
Puja Rai
Certificate in Health Care
What’s one thing you love about your culture? I’m half Nepalese, half Fijian-Indian. I like that I get a taste of both cultures Have you seen any films at Film Festival this month? No, I just haven’t got around to it. No one’s recommended anything How do you stay warm in winter? Clothes – lots of layers, warm drinks and staying indoors If you could escape winter, where would you go? Rarotonga or some other tropical place What reality show would you never watch? Geordie Shore. The accents are weird
issue 16 2011
www.ausm.org.nz
35.
EE K W L
FI N A
Secondhand purchasing finishes Friday 5th August
Hurry in now for instant cash! UBS is currently buying back your used textbooks
Get 50% of the current RRP of the textbook in cash. Just bring in your textbooks and ID and the cash could be yours!!!
The small print:
* Books must have been confirmed by Auckland University of Technology for Semester Two, 2011 to be considered for purchase. * Only the current edition for the confirmed textbook will be considered for purchase. * All textbooks are limited to pre-determined quantities. Once these limits are reached, additional copies may only be purchased at the discretion of UBS. * Proof of identity (Student ID, Drivers Licence or Passport) is required at time of selling your textbooks. * UBS has complete discretion whether it purchases back a textbook and its decision is final. * Other conditions do apply - please ask in store for details.
AUT Akoranga Campus AUT City Campus 90 Akoranga Drive, Northcote 55 Wellesley Street East, Auckland City Tel: 489 6105 Fax: 489 7453 Tel: 366 4550 Fax: 366 4570 Email: aut.akoranga@ubsbooks.co.nz Email: aut.city@ubsbooks.co.nz Web: www.ubsbooks.co.nz Open Monday to Friday or shop securely online 24/7 issue 16 2011 36.